Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Sigh. I have a bipolar diagnosis, but have been completely fine (on meds) for several years. And then Tuesday, it was like the flu, when you are fine one minute and deathly ill an hour later, except with anxiety and depression. Just feel so awful. Psychiatrist suggested going into the hospital but trying to avoid it. This just sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I am so sorry. ((((Hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: I also have a bipolar diagnosis and am on meds. I worry all the time the meds will stop being effective. Is your doctor changing your meds? I don't think a hospital is necessary if you have a good support system at home, especially if your meds can be changed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I am so sorry. I hope you get the help you need and that you won't need to go to the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: Hang in there. I hope you can get whatever help you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: So sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 I have a good support system but I'm struggling with thoughts and impulses and agitation. And I think his thought was could adjust faster in hospital. I had felt like I was fighting off a cold and then within an hour went off the deep end. Just feel so scared and overwhelmed and hopeless. And judged and unworthy, because I'm crazy. I've been high functioning but haven't exactly lived up to my potential. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I've been high functioning but haven't exactly lived up to my potential. Terabith, I can't think of a single day of my life when I've lived up to my potential, and I have no known extenuating circumstances holding me back. Big hugs to you, and I hope you're feeling better very soon. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Any chance one or more meds (if generic) is from a different manufacturer this month? Perhaps of a lessor potency (there is a range generics can be in and still be "acceptable".) Otherwise, I hope a tweaking of your meds gets you back on track.Have you read Jenny Lawson's books or her blog (The Bloggess)? She is in the same boat, and I got our adult son (still not stable still juggling six meds to find the correct combo for his brain) reading her. She is funny and as a fellow sufferer "gets" it.And come check in here as much as you like or need to today, we will "talk" (type?) you down as much as you need. Virtual hugs! Edited October 9, 2016 by JFSinIL 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Maybe? I dunno. Just scared how bad this is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) It can be very bad, BUT as long as you are able to reach out, both here and to the folks around you, you will be OK. It will take some time, but this too shall pass (my mom always annoyed me when she said that to me, but it is true). If you need to go to the hospital for a day or two to be safe, that is ok, too. If you were having a heart attack or needed chemo, you would go in, right? Do whatever keeps you safe until this either passes or meds can be tweaked. And please keep checking in today. And - eat chocolate (even if it doesn't help - and I look at bipolar as a Dementor - it sure tastes good!) Edited October 9, 2016 by JFSinIL 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 There is no shame in going for help. Actually, it is a strong thing to do! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I have a good support system but I'm struggling with thoughts and impulses and agitation. And I think his thought was could adjust faster in hospital. I had felt like I was fighting off a cold and then within an hour went off the deep end. Just feel so scared and overwhelmed and hopeless. And judged and unworthy, because I'm crazy. I've been high functioning but haven't exactly lived up to my potential. ((((Hugs)))) my brother has had to go to the hospital a couple of times to readjust his meds. It will keep you in a safe environment while they find a solution for you. Keep us posted please. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Many (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I am so sorry. Could you in fact be fighting a virus? My dh's depression gets dramatically worse every time he gets sick. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 ((Hugs)) I immediately wondered about both a virus and the generic med issue. Just in case there's an environmental trigger to all this. Mostly just sending big hugs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Depression (of any variety) stinks. Hope you feel better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Hugs. Certainly check if they switched generic meds on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: Keep checking in. :grouphug: Add me to the list of "Doesn't Live Up to Potential" and I have no "reason" for it. It's just who I am. I'll even admit to liking it that way (more or less - it has pros and cons). Don't let that be a reason for frustration. There IS no single way we must be living. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Please keep checking in here. (((Hugs))) Also, please go to the hospital if you need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Still here. Not sure what to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 My grandpa had bi-polar -- back when it was called manic depression -- and they could control the mania, but not his terrible depression. I came out of my childhood with extreme respect for anyone experiencing such an incredibly difficult situation. It was bad. He's been gone for 25 years and I have more respect for him as the years go by. Doesn't help you, but just wanting to say: you're amazing for what you're dealing with. Alley 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Is there a reason you don't want to go into the hospital? Frankly, I would go. It will be one less thing to agonize about, they will patch you up in no time and in the safes possible environment, and then you can quickly return home. Please take your doctor's advice. Sending warm good wishes to you. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Has your doc recalibrated some of your meds since you called him? If he did, it takes a little time to take effect. Do you have something to take just in case it gets so bad you need it, i.e Ativan or similar? Also, sometimes the five minute at a time rule helps. Determine to get through the next five minutes by doing something that distracts you a little. Perhaps you can go 15 minutes? What time frame did the doc give you before he re-evaluates you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Is there a reason you don't want to go into the hospital? Frankly, I would go. It will be one less thing to agonize about, they will patch you up in no time and in the safes possible environment, and then you can quickly return home. Please take your doctor's advice. Sending warm good wishes to you. I agree. Still thinking about you and checking back often. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Partly I don't want to go because it's expensive. Partly because it's harder to distract myself and sleep there than it is at home. Partly I have an irrational fear of hospitals. I went once, and it wasn't terrible, but just...blah. I don't want to mess up my kids or make things more difficult for my husband. Have an appointment with psychiatrist for next Thursday but they told me to call on Monday but really encouraged me to go in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Just more hugs. Maybe you and your DH can make a plan, as a just in case, for if you decide to go in... If you don't already have one in place. You sound very self aware, and strong, and you'll do what's right for you. Please don't hesitate if you need to go... Just go, and do what you have to to take care of yourself. Sometimes it's harder to get things back on track, the farther off they go. My adult son is bipolar II. It's so hard at times, and it's all so clearly chemical and physical. It really is like the flu. Hang in there. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I don't want to mess up my kids or make things more difficult for my husband. Have you discussed any of this with them - esp your husband (if your kids aren't old enough for such discussions)? If so, what do they say? I'm NOT saying this because I believe in "obeying" husbands or that they get to make our decisions. Anyone knowing me for long on this board or IRL would literally laugh at that thought. I'm saying it because my hubby is my best friend and I know he would be honest with me about his thoughts if I asked and were honest with him. If your husband is not your best friend (or among your best friends), then skip my advice to talk with him and talk with someone better instead. I suspect he would think it would be more difficult if you didn't get help - esp if impulsive. Not totally related, but similar. There are things I do that often make me feel better. Many times the hardest part for me mentally is the first step - getting started. One would think it would be easy, esp if I'm sitting around feeling miserable and know that chances are good I'll feel better afterward, but in some strange twist of the real world it doesn't work that way. I remind myself of that many times in order to get going on that first step. Best wishes to you as you decide what to do. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Creekland's advice is awesome. :grouphug: Thinking of you. If you can't take care of yourself right now, let someone else. It's okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Partly I don't want to go because it's expensive. Set this aside. Your mental health is priceless. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Thinking might stop by the hospital after dinner to see what they think. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Thinking might stop by the hospital after dinner to see what they think. I too hate the idea of the hospital. I've managed to stay out but only because staying home actually worked for me. If I had any doubt that I couldn't cope at home, I'd go to the hospital. It's there to help you. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Thinking of you. Hope you get the help you need at the hospital. Hold your head up high. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You are a strong woman to be able to take the steps you need for getting help. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) ... Edited October 29, 2016 by MercyA 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Just sending you a huge hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 No beds available. Told me to come back tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I am sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Keep posting to us. We care. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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