18 yo and depression *edited with further info

[Joyofsixreboot]

So my 18 yo seemed to all of us fine. She has returned to PS. She has friends ( was elected homecoming queen), challenging courses, sports and a job but she feels " completely disconnected" inside. She went to the MD and has received a Zoloft prescription. This freaks me out a bit. I realize googling side effects is not a wise thing but as a mom that's what I did. Someone please reassure me this will make her feel better ( probably) and all those side effects are rare.

 

*She has been dealing with this for some time. We have a very open relationship so we've worked together to improve her exercise (she runs, walks and plays BB-no problem there), her diet (better than avg but not perfect by any means) and sleep (not enough IMHO). I urged her to try all these for some time before trying meds. They didn't really seem to make a difference. She also returned to public school because she thought more social activity would help. Again it didn't seem to make a difference in how she feels. She describes herself as "a high functioning depressive". It looks good from the outside but inside not so much. The MD felt she should try the meds and return in 4 weeks. If they make a difference OK, if not changing the dose and adding counseling. I think the doc didn't want to start two things at once and not know which ,if either, made a difference. Thanks everyone who answered. I'm just worried about my artistic, flamboyant girl. I don't want to change her spirit but want her to feel better.

Edited September 29, 2016 by joyofsix

[linders]

I don't know enough about Zoloft to comment, but I do wonder...along with the prescription, did the MD recommend counseling? I'm very glad she is getting help, and much mental illness does have a chemical component, but it would be useful for her to talk to someone to see if there is also a psychological side, the way she thinks about and perceives things, that can be addressed. I would also want to aher eating, sleeping, and exercise patterns.

 

Hugs to her (and you!)

[SebastianCat]

I haven't read about side effects recently, but I took Zoloft for postpartum depression after my 2nd child was born. It was a tremendous help and made me recognize how deep my prior episodes of depression had been (one during college, another after my 1st child was born).

 

I think you are a fabulous mom for being concerned, and I think the best thing you can do is to stay close to your DD and be someone she can talk to as she works through this. I wish I had been close enough to my own mom when I was struggling with depression in college, but I pulled inward and isolated myself rather than seeking help. You may suggest counseling, because that would probably help your DD learn to recognize symptoms and triggers for depression in the future, but ultimately she has to decide how much help she's willing to take.

[OneStepAtATime]

Agree with above posts.

 

FWIW, medication can help and can sometimes be necessary to turn things around but medication alone tends not to be the best answer. Is she in counseling? Perhaps using Cognitive Behavior Therapy or Dialectical Behavior Therapy? And have diet, exercise and sleep patterns been addressed? Is the MD actually looking at your whole child? Or did they just toss a medication at her?

Edited September 29, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[Pawz4me]

I think the dangers/risks/side effects of medications for depression and anxiety have been overblown, especially in proportion to the great benefit they can provide.

 

Yes, the medication may help her. Maybe a little, maybe tremendously. And just like with other drugs there may need to be dosage adjustments until she finds what works for her, and she may need to try another type of drug. If this one or this dosage doesn't work don't assume tweaking things won't help.

 

Ditto counseling, too.

[fairfarmhand]

I have a family member on that same med and that person has not had any side effects once the medication really got going. For the first week, that person felt like they sort of had the flu, but that passed and everyone is glad for the meds.

 

Counseling is a good thing too. Very important to link the two.

 

ETA: The counseling should give her tools to keep herself in a good place. The medication will help her cope and be able to think clearly enough to do the homework of counseling.

Edited September 29, 2016 by fairfarmhand

[OneStepAtATime]

With your update, I guess go with the doctor's plan and see how it goes for the 4 weeks but studies I have read show coupling counseling with meds has a much better long term effect than just meds alone.  Also, the therapy is often better if it is not  just random talk therapy counseling but targeted counseling with end goals (sometimes using CBT or DBT as mentioned in my previous post), coupled with medication.

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

Edited September 29, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[Pawz4me]

It sounds like both of you are doing all the right things and have a good medical provider to work with. Those are huge pluses. I tend to think of it this way -- some people have high cholesterol or high blood pressure and they do all the right lifestyle changes and those still don't help enough for them to be able to avoid medication. Mental health issues are no different. I think the plan to give it a month is fine, but even if she's much better I would consider some counseling. Like others have said, that's more to give her some tools to put in her box to use over the long term. Not to say she can't stay on medication long term--some people need that, too (just like some people who do all the right lifestyle stuff will still need to stay on cholesterol or BP medicine). And that's okay.  :grouphug:

Edited September 29, 2016 by Pawz4me

[Carol in Cal.]

Nothing wrong with trying a medication to see if it will help, but I encourage you to support her in the other parts of getting well and not falling into this again--counselling, changing thought patterns, double checking thyroid, consulting a naturopath for other nutritional evaluations like low levels of vitamin D or B12, both of which can contribute a great deal to depression, etc.

[Onceuponatime]

When I had post partum depression and looked up the side effects of my medication. I could have sworn I had every single symptom the first three days. I even called the doctor, who thankfully treated me seriously, but told me to just wait and see for a week or so more. Later I realized all those symptoms were part and parcel of my depression and anxiety, not reactions to the meds. I only had one noticeable reaction and that was feeling so "even" that I had no ability to feel extreme depths of emotions, which was what I needed at the time.

[Terabith]

I put my then five year old on an antidepressant. It was scary but in retrospect, it's probably the best parenting move I ever made.

[Tiramisu]

Two kids here needed meds. It's a tough decision but in our case definitely necessary and for the best.

 

One started with a really amazing psychiatrist, and I loved her protocol with Zoloft. She started her on one quarter of the lowest dose for three days, then half the lowest dose, then three quarters. Each for three days with instructions to keep at that level if headache or nausea developed, and until those side effects resolved. We were told to call if any worse side effects appeared. She had no problem.

 

The other kid was a lot older and just started at the lowest dose, also with no problem.

 

In both cases, we saw the positive effects very quickly, sooner than we anticipated.

 

The only real problem I've seen among my friends and their kids with these meds is starting at too high a dose or increasing a dose too quickly. So I always suggest going slowly.

Edited September 29, 2016 by Tiramisu

[BooksandBoys]

I put my then five year old on an antidepressant. It was scary but in retrospect, it's probably the best parenting move I ever made.

Sent you a PM, Terabith.

[mom2samlibby]

Nothing wrong with trying a medication to see if it will help, but I encourage you to support her in the other parts of getting well and not falling into this again--counselling, changing thought patterns, double checking thyroid, consulting a naturopath for other nutritional evaluations like low levels of vitamin D or B12, both of which can contribute a great deal to depression, etc.

 

I really wish doctors would check vitamin levels FIRST.  It seem to me that they are so quick to prescribe an antidepressent, but don't really look to see if there is another way to change things. 

 

I'd want those levels checked before I would do medication -- Vitamin B12, folate, iron, and Vitamin D.  

[Tiramisu]

I really wish doctors would check vitamin levels FIRST. It seem to me that they are so quick to prescribe an antidepressent, but don't really look to see if there is another way to change things.

 

I'd want those levels checked before I would do medication -- Vitamin B12, folate, iron, and Vitamin D.

You're right. We only had one doctor do this. In other cases, I had to make the request to the pediatrician myself.

[Ravin]

My DD has been taking zoloft since she was 8. It made a big difference, and still does.

[GoodGrief]

Targeted therapy is SO important. I wish the docs were more helpful in getting clients set up with providers.

[JFSinIL]

The brain can get sick just like any other part of the body,  Chemotherapy has awful side effects, but if a person has cancer and needs it, they do it. They do not rely just on counseling or exercise or healthy eating to get better*.  If there is a chem imbalance affecting the brain, medication is justified to help the brain get better.  It is just not easy to know which medication at which dose (or combination with other meds) will help any individual brain :-(   so be patient.  Zoloft may help.  It may not help. Or it may help yet the side effects (if any) become unacceptable. 

 

* Although these do have a place in helping a person feel better.  But sometimes the person needs to be medicated into feeling well enough to be able to get out and exercise, etc.

 

Let your dd know how proud of her you are that she knows to listen to her body/brain and know when to seek help.  Don't be like my hubby, who still nags our son (on six different meds now)  to just go on a bike ride to cure his depression/insomnia/bipolar/anxiety/short-term memory loss.  I wish there was a simple blood draw or x-ray that could pinpoint "Eureka!" exactly which medication/dosage would work for any particular person.  Alas, it remains largely trial and error.   Good luck!

 

(I second getting blood work done, too. DS has been thoroughly checked out twice, now, thyroid, vitamin levels, etc.  Even a sleep study. )

Edited September 30, 2016 by JFSinIL

[Katy]

I would have her try the Zoloft, but only if she's not on hormonal birth control.  If she is, I'd have her go off of that for a week first, before starting the Zoloft.  There is a HUGE link between being on the pill and depression.  I personally changed my pill brand right before my father died, and I sunk into a spiral of hell.  My sister begged me to stop the pill, and sure enough, three days after stopping it I was better.  Still grieving, but able to get out of bed and function.   At least half a dozen women I've known since that happened had their depression go away by stopping the pill.   So, if she's on the pill, have her quit for a while.  Stress backup birth control if she needs it, but try no pill and see.

 

Then definitely try the drug.

 

Also, cognitive behavioral therapy can make a huge difference. A lot of depression either starts with or comes from errors in thinking.  Frequently with girls and women, it's having or feeling responsibility for something you have no control over and/or not having emotional boundaries - ie: the perspective of how an upsetting situation seems to other people in your life (like taking things personally that aren't, etc).

 

I'd also do a complete blood count and a vitamin and thyroid check.

 

If none of that helped, I read somewhere last week that there is now thought that depression may be an inflammatory disease.  Like, usually in generations past when you had inflammation it meant you were sick, and depression makes you withdraw and not mix with people, which protects others from getting infections.  But today, when we do all sorts of things that increase inflammation and that has nothing to do with infections, more people are depressed.  Finding ways to lower inflammation like trying elimination diets, eating more fruits and vegetables and less fatty foods, trying spices like ginger, cinnamon, and turmeric that decrease inflammation can make a huge difference.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I've been on either Zoloft or Paxil for the majority of the past 15 years. I've gone off of them at various times and it was not pretty, but it was a great reminder of how necessary antidepressants are for me. I also did counseling once upon a time, but nothing touched my depression the way medication does. 

 

The only thing I would say is to be prepared for her to (possibly) be very wired when she begins Zoloft. One time when I started back on it I ended up in a huge crying jag because I felt so agitated. I may have felt that when I first began but I guess I didn't notice like I did when I resumed taking it. I also noticed the same thing when I had my dose bumped up a bit. But in both cases, after the first few days I mellowed out and felt much calmer. Definitely be in touch with a doctor about that if it happens to her. Mine prescribed an anti-anxiety drug when I was crying out of control, and that got me over the hump. 

[katilac]

So my 18 yo seemed to all of us fine. She has returned to PS. She has friends ( was elected homecoming queen), challenging courses, sports and a job but she feels " completely disconnected" inside. She went to the MD and has received a Zoloft prescription. This freaks me out a bit. I realize googling side effects is not a wise thing but as a mom that's what I did. Someone please reassure me this will make her feel better ( probably) and all those side effects are rare.

 

*She has been dealing with this for some time. We have a very open relationship so we've worked together to improve her exercise (she runs, walks and plays BB-no problem there), her diet (better than avg but not perfect by any means) and sleep (not enough IMHO). I urged her to try all these for some time before trying meds. They didn't really seem to make a difference. She also returned to public school because she thought more social activity would help. Again it didn't seem to make a difference in how she feels. She describes herself as "a high functioning depressive". It looks good from the outside but inside not so much. The MD felt she should try the meds and return in 4 weeks. If they make a difference OK, if not changing the dose and adding counseling. I think the doc didn't want to start two things at once and not know which ,if either, made a difference. Thanks everyone who answered. I'm just worried about my artistic, flamboyant girl. I don't want to change her spirit but want her to feel better.

 

It sounds like your daughter has very good personal insight. 

 

I would absolutely try the meds. I do think four weeks is a little quick, as many people require six weeks for an effect or a higher dose for an effect. It's pretty widely accepted to up the dose at four weeks if there have been no results and no side effects, and then evaluate again at six weeks. I personally would be fine about doing that at four weeks instead of going back to the doctor to reiterate what is already the plan of upping the dose (and then see him at six or eight weeks instead). There's no reason to delay seeking therapy, or to not seek it if the meds do help. Meds plus therapy is the gold standard, particularly for teen depression. 

 

The "high functioning depressive" resounds with me. When I got past my anti-meds, anti-therapy upbringing enough to try antidepressants as an adult, it was a huge breakthrough for me. Unfortunately, it took me many more years to be convinced that it was okay to take them even when I wasn't at my absolute worst, okay to take them when things looked good on the outside but weren't so great on the inside. Just because I could keep up with my responsibilities and activities didn't mean I had to white-knuckle it through the days, kwim? As one great doctor put it, antidepressants help mediate the part of my brain that sends pain signals even when I am truly happy and doing what I want to do. 

 

Once I agreed with that conclusion, it was easy for me to stay on them long-term, because I have no side effects. If me or my child did have side effects, I would try a different medication (I do have a child who started meds at a slightly younger age than your dd, with good results and no side effects). 

 

I don't know if you went into the doctor with her, but he should have told her about the very slight chance of meds causing thoughts of self-harm, and had her commit to letting someone know if she had even a fleeting thought that she immediately dismissed. If he did not have this conversation with her, you should, explaining that it's a very rare effect that usually does not speak to the overall situation, but she must tell about even 'silly' thoughts of hurting herself so that the medication can be changed. 

 

There is an excellent change that medication will help her. There is almost no chance that she will experience significant side effects.  

Edited September 30, 2016 by katilac

[Joyofsixreboot]

Thank you everyone for your insight. Yes, the doctor did tell her about thoughts of self harm and to immediately tell me or her (the MD). My dd takes no other meds so at least that isn't a confounding factor. I am very proud of her for taking care of this. I'm also swallowing all my advice about not over committing and sleeping more and anything else unless asked. That is not my favorite part of parenting 😙. Now we wait....not my strong suit.

[fairfarmhand]

Thank you everyone for your insight. Yes, the doctor did tell her about thoughts of self harm and to immediately tell me or her (the MD). My dd takes no other meds so at least that isn't a confounding factor. I am very proud of her for taking care of this. I'm also swallowing all my advice about not over committing and sleeping more and anything else unless asked. That is not my favorite part of parenting 😙. Now we wait....not my strong suit.

My family member can't "hear" that well-meaning advice at a low point. Get her back to a good place and she may be more open to suggestions. Often the over committing is about staying busy enough to try to forget the hurt. (I know this because I do it too,)

[IfIOnly]

I'm glad your daughter has such a supportive mom. I hope her prescription helps. Depression steals so much of one's life. I hope the clouds are lifted and the sky is sunny for her soon. Hugs to her and you.

Edited October 1, 2016 by ifIonlyhadabrain