Voracious reader and night time reading

[Rachel]

I don't normally post on this board but I figure you all are the most likely to understand...This isn't a JAWM, but please be gentle.

 

My 8 year old is a voracious reader. If there are words, they must be read. Most of the time this isn't a big deal but it is becoming a big deal at night. I'm fine with him reading in bed for awhile, he shares a room with his younger brother but he doesn't need to go to bed quite as early. However, we can't get him to actually quit reading and he needs quite a bit of sleep or he is super grouchy the next day. His room is on the second floor so we don't always realize he was reading late until the next morning, or until we hear the book crash to the floor. This is an ongoing problem we have been having for awhile. We homeschool, so in the past I could let him sleep in the following day. However, it has become a daily thing and he is now a third grader so I need him to get going on his schoolwork at a decent time so we can get through everything by a reasonable time. He also has trouble focusing when he's tired and isn't pleasant to be around.

 

We have tried: marking books at a quitting point, setting a timer, starting him in the playroom and telling him it was time to quit reading and move to his bed, taking away all flashlights (he then reads by the tiny light a toy gives off), removing books from his room (not possible anymore), removing "fun" books (he then reads the bible, Shakespeare, instruction booklets, etc instead), and giving him plenty of free reading time during the day. If it's too dark, he will go read in the bathroom.

 

We recently had a frank discussion and thought we came to a compromise. He is typically an obedient child without behavior problems, he is a natural rule follower, except with reading. We recently got him a reading lamp so he would have a decent amount of light, but once we tell him to turn it off, he reads by flashlight. Last night he had turned it back on and was reading two hours past when I told him it was time to stop reading for the night. I've thought about using the Kindle and Kindle free time to help with the timing, but I think when it goes off he would just switch to a book. He just really loves to read and most of the time he is reading good stuff. However, he needs more sleep!

 

Anyone have some ideas short of me camping on on his bedroom floor?

 

ETA; he's NT. He has always been a voracious reader and everyone who knows him, knows that. He takes a lot of pride in his ability to read.

Edited September 9, 2016 by Rach

[Runningmom80]

I'd take away the light sources. I know it's annoying to remember.  There are nights it's 11:30 and we go up to bed and DS' light is still on because we forgot to tell him to turn it off. :huh:

 

We started setting timers on our phones to remember.  My DS turns it off when we tell him, but if he didn't I'd have no problem going up to take away his light and if needed the books.  Reading is important, but sleep is more important IMO.

 

 

Good Luck!  I guess there are worse problems to have.  I love when kids are that into reading. :)

 

ETA:  I saw you've taken away the lights, how was he still reading, in the dark?  I would remove the books from the room if he still doesn't listen.  I know in my DS' room this would be a huge undertaking, but I'm not sure what choice you have?  Either that or let him sleep in and arrange your school day around that.

Edited September 9, 2016 by Runningmom80

[Rachel]

We have taken away light sources, and then he reads by Mickey Mouse ears, or a nerf gun with a red "site" light that we didn't even know he had or some other random toy that you wouldn't think gives off enough light to see to read. He is quite creative in finding ways to read. We have thought about flipping the breakers to the entire 2nd floor. My husband is worried about him damaging his eye sight reading in poor light. Thus the attempt to compromise on a reading lamp and a set amount of time it is ok to read, two hours past that is excessive. I did take the lamp last night and he didn't try to read anymore but he was too exhausted anyway.

 

I know many parents wish their problems were this minor, but he is becoming chronically sleep deprived.

[Arcadia]

I have to pat my bookworm DS11 to sleep before hubby and I sleep. He will sleep until dawn once asleep. Else he would sleep past midnight because he wants to finish reading a library book. Books excite him so reading before bedtime makes him too alert to sleep.

[RootAnn]

I had one of these kids. Well, I still kind of do. I was so frustrated when I would ask for advice for this problem & be told, "Be glad they are reading. Just let them read!" UGH. They didn't have to live with the crab the next day.

 

My one of these kids comes naturally to this problem since her grandmother & mother will sometimes do the same thing.  :crying:

 

(I also have one who has OCD & feels compelled to read everything. That child doesn't have the stay-up-late issue.)

 

I never did find a good resolution, I'm sorry to say. I would spot-check her after bed. This only worked if her bedtime was early enough and I hadn't already fallen asleep before she was supposed to be asleep. Mine also shares a room with a sibling that goes to sleep earlier. We still sometimes have this issue - when she has a particularly good book that she's working on and starts reading it right before bed. I hope someone else has a solution for you. Eventually, she stopped doing it as often. Wish I had good advice for you! All I can offer is  :grouphug:  commiseration. We tried a bunch of stuff, but only 'growing up' ultimately helped.

[Rachel]

He gets books from our school room when there aren't any in his room. We can't lock the door unless we also lock him out of the bathroom (it's sort of a Jack n Jill bathroom) but he knows how to pop open the lock anyway. I wonder if my husband could put a bolt on the bathroom door that connects to the school room and switch the school door lock to a keyed lock?

[tm919]

I don't know, I  continually move bedtime down so my daughters have more time to read in bed before lights out. A while ago, I started read-alouds at 8:30 and then let my older daughter read from the end of read-aloud to 10:15 on her own. And she still pushed it. So we kept pushing downward as far as reasonable. We can't really start getting ready before 7:30 PM (which means read aloud is done at 8 or so, so she has a couple hours) due to schedule.

 

The other part of it is running them crazy ragged during the day with hours outside/physical exercise so they crash earlier. 

 

It's a work in progress here like so many other things. I took Ember Falls away from her yesterday at 9 since she'd been running for maybe 3-4 hours during the day and she looked tired, and then came back and she was reading a dictionary... 

Edited September 9, 2016 by tm919

[Rachel]

Admittedly I love to read almost this much and if I'm reading a good book I'll stay up way too late to finish it, so he comes by it somewhat honestly.

[Rachel]

I don't know, I continually move bedtime down so my daughters have more time to read in bed before lights out. A while ago, I started read-alouds at 8:30 and then let my older daughter read from the end of read-aloud to 10:15 on her own. And she still pushed it. So we kept pushing downward as far as reasonable. We can't really start getting ready before 7:30 PM (which means read aloud is done at 8 or so, so she has a couple hours) due to schedule.

 

The other part of it is running them crazy ragged during the day with hours outside/physical exercise so they crash earlier.

 

It's a work in progress here like so many other things. I took Ember Falls away from her yesterday at 9 since she'd been running for maybe 3-4 hours during the day and she looked tired, and then came back and she was reading a dictionary...

That sounds like my kid! He has read the dictionary, the entire (elementary) thing.

[Alessandra]

No solutions, but two anecdotes from my own childhood.

 

My mother removed the fuse for the lights in my room. We had no flashlights. To this day, I remember that as smart, but way over controlling.

 

My father once found me reading in the bathroom. He asked what I was reading. When I told him it was Jane Eyre, he told me that the i should get to bed as soon as I could. Oh, and not to tell my mother, lol. To this day, I am grateful that I was allowed to read, because I was at the part where Jane's friend from the school was dying.

 

Having a child who gets immersed in a book is magical, IMO. Getting enough sleep is absolutely essential too. Is there any way you could tweak your schedule so that your son has more reading opportunities at at time that he wants? Does he have a quiet place to do his reading? I know I like to read at night or in the early morning, anytime when the bustle of the day is not intruding. Picking up a book and reading for an hour before I have to make dinner is not the same. Or in a place, say on the beach, where I am not near things I 'have' to do.

[Alessandra]

Dp

Edited September 9, 2016 by Alessandra

[OneStepAtATime]

FWIW, I was that child.  And I found every bizarre light source I could so that I could keep reading.  I even had this set up where the book was between my legs under the covers and I could only see a part of it but at least if Mom came up stairs I could quickly close my legs and pretend to be asleep.  I was a very compliant child and I respected my mother and wanted her to be happy with me but I LOVED TO READ and felt compelled, once I started something, to try to finish it.  Oh, and my hiding the book between my legs under the covers?  Didn't work.  I got so engrossed in the book that Mom came right up to the side of my bed and I never knew she was there.  When she called my name I screamed bloody murder and probably woke half the neighborhood.   :lol:

 

This is a tricky place to be.  I loved my books and I think if Mom and Dad had taken away my nighttime reading I would have been miserable.  However, your child is not able to regulate their behavior on their own.  I couldn't either.  I did not have the maturity and the executive function ability to do so.  Not with books.  

 

Can you set up your specific cut off time for no more reading then do like someone up thread mentioned, can you sit with him, maybe sing to him or listen to music with him or just rub his back until he soothes himself to sleep?  Does he stay asleep once he falls asleep?  It may take months or years for him to associate sleep time with actual sleeping because right now he associates sleep time with private reading time after everyone else is asleep.  Starting now, and being really, really consistent about exact time you come in and sit with him and help him fall asleep might help.  Telling him when to shut off the light and stop reading probably won't.

 

Hugs and good luck.  And hey, for what it is worth, I survived.  :)

[Mabelen]

How about trying to change reading times? Perhaps giving him solid reading time early morning until breakfast or school, then another solid time when school is out? Then you can say no more reading after dinner or something like that until the following morning? Puzzles, handcrafts, drawing, painting allowed? Interfering with sleep to that extent is definitely not healthy and it becomes an ingrained habit that is very difficult to break. I would try to find some age appropriate resources that would help him understand this? I say this with the utmost sympathy. I have been know to stay up way too late reading encyclopedia articles and other books and my oldest was also like this.

 

ETA I agree that he is going to need hands on and consistency from a parent to help him regulate better.

Edited September 9, 2016 by Mabelen

[OneStepAtATime]

I guess you could look at this as intervention for an addict.  I was addicted to books.  I created my own card catalog system for my books.  I read every night.  Books meant a ton to me.  I would have hated being limited in my interaction with books.  At the same time, I was not able to regulate my behavior.  I was a book addict.  Try to see it from that perspective.  He is going to need a lot of structure to help him regulate his behavior and reset his clock for when to sleep, when to read, etc.  Not punitive but just some help for his own physical health and wellbeing.  

[Rachel]

It definitely seems like an addictive behavior. Yesterday was a pretty typical day and I just added up his free reading time, he read 4-5 hours on his own, not including the 2 hours after I told him lights out.

 

He has been a good sleeper most of his life and once he's asleep he sleeps fine. OneStep we have not been consistent with the follow up on whether or not he has stopped reading. I will definitely work on that. We have been giving him a reminder that it's time to wrap up and he will answer ok and we see the light go off. Its later we discover he has started reading again. I'll start hanging out upstairs for awhile after the cutoff.

[mathnerd]

Wake him up early no matter how late he slept. Eventually, in a few weeks, the body craves rest and will go to sleep as soon as he hits the bed. If you can, consider putting your son is very rigorous organized daily sport with a coach - e.g. swim team or martial arts. The high level of exercise will tire him out sufficiently as to make him sleep on time.

 

I was a book addict until I went to college. To this day, I struggle to fit my sleeping schedules with my family's sleeping schedule because of the poor sleep habits that I developed as a child.

Edited September 9, 2016 by mathnerd

[shawthorne44]

I read myself to sleep and I'm a voracious reader too.   

What I've found through trial-and-error, is that

 

1)  Dim lights are best.  A bright-light will keep me awake.  

         A 20-watt bulb worked pretty good for many years.  

 

        Then I got a small LED light on a moveable arm and I pointed it at the wall above my head, then read by the reflected light.  

 

        This summer I bought a Kindle Paperwhite.   That is absolutely the best!     It has enough light itself to read by, so the lamp can stay off.  I just have to remember to find the Kindle and put it someplace safe before I get out of bed.   Otherwise, I might stick my elbow on the screen like I did to my Nook.  But, now that I switched to the Kindle, I am getting a little distressed by how little I am reading before sleep.   

 

2)  I have to avoid non-fiction and short stories.  I think the problem is with the endings.   I want to finish the chapter, and it is always around the corner.  

 

3)  Don't read super-exciting books.   I remember first year of graduate school my brain was soooo tired, but I needed to read to sleep.  I started to read this Einstein biography with teeeny-tiny print.    That book was so boring.  I have never read a more boring book, and I like Einstein.   I've been to more than one Einstein museum.   That book was gold, though.   I'd pick it up, start reading and I'd be out.   I think the tiny print put me to sleep too.  

 

I would definitely move up his bedtime.  I would also establish a hard-and-fast latest wake up time.  Even if he's cranky.  

 

[regentrude]

Turn over the responsibility for his bedtime to him. Let him stay up late, but wake him in the morning and begin the day as usual.

I started this when my kids were 6. They eventually figured out that they were tired the next day if they stayed up too late, and learned to self regulate.

[RootAnn]

Some kids can self-regulate and some cannot (without scaffolding and lots of incremental help). I think the OP hoped he would self-regulate now that they can't let him sleep in and he's older. Some kids will not be able to do it on their own- they will be cranky and then turn into zombies or crash midday, messing up their whole cycle.

 

Self-regulation is ideal, but this kid needs some help to get there, IMO.

[OneStepAtATime]

Some kids can self-regulate and some cannot (without scaffolding and lots of incremental help). I think the OP hoped he would self-regulate now that they can't let him sleep in and he's older. Some kids will not be able to do it on their own- they will be cranky and then turn into zombies or crash midday, messing up their whole cycle.

 

Self-regulation is ideal, but this kid needs some help to get there, IMO.

Agreed.

 

Like I mentioned up thread, I completely relate to this child. Mom and Dad knew I was a pretty mature and responsible kid. They expected that I would be able to self regulate. With books I just was not there yet. I was in public school. I had to get up and go to school regardless of how late I stayed up reading after I was supposed to be asleep. I was a zombie. And yet, like an addict, I did not yet have the capacity to self regulate at that age for that particular thing, regardless of how exhausted I was making myself. I needed a lot of external structure and clearly defined and consistently enfirced rules until I was more mature.

[Jackie]

The only thing I have found that works for my daughter is to have a heavy load of physical exercise during the day. Because she doesn't move on her own (she prefers reading and art), she is enrolled in gymnastics, circus arts classes, "forest school" classes, we've done sports and dance, and she regularly goes to an open gym time at a gymnastics place. I mandate a bare minimum of one full hour per day of focused physical activity. Anything we can find. The exercise regulates her sleep schedule better than anything else ever has.

[Black-eyed Suzan]

I will still stay up too late reading when I'm involved in a book, so I understand your son.  I read under the covers many nights as a child. I avoid fiction now because I get sucked in and don't want to do anything else but read.

 

If this was one of our children, my husband or I would lay in the room with him until he falls asleep whenever you have decided it is bedtime so he cannot read (most likely this would result in the parent falling asleep in the room  :lol: ). I realize this is a sacrifice, but it sounds like he is unable to regulate his behavior at this point.

 

Best wishes. I hope you find a solution that works for your family.

[shadah]

I couldn't self-regulate with reading and sleep until I was 18 and I spent most of my first semester at college ill.

Another problem with me is that I'm very introverted, so it's not enough to me to have quiet, at home time, I need absolutely silent, no one even looking at me time. One of the reasons I stayed up late reading was that after 10 pm was the only time I could get that. So if my mom had tried to wear me out through a bunch of activities it would have made it that much worse. So, probably depends on the kid. :)

Yes, this. Nighttime is the only complete solitude I have. I sleep much better and don't stay up as late when I have quiet alone time in the afternoon or evening. I don't mean reading time necessarily. Although, being lost in a book is a form of solitude. It is not enough if I am reading in a busy environment. I need complete downtime. Do you do a daily quiet time?

For dd, I still sit in her room at night until she goes to sleep. I allow audiobooks within a reasonable time. Sometimes, soft music, but mostly just quiet. Ds shares her room, but I put him in my room until she is asleep.

[Rachel]

I couldn't self-regulate with reading and sleep until I was 18 and I spent most of my first semester at college ill.

Another problem with me is that I'm very introverted, so it's not enough to me to have quiet, at home time, I need absolutely silent, no one even looking at me time. One of the reasons I stayed up late reading was that after 10 pm was the only time I could get that. So if my mom had tried to wear me out through a bunch of activities it would have made it that much worse. So, probably depends on the kid. :)

This is me. Since having kids I have stayed up later and later to get the alone time I crave. I really have to force myself to get to bed at a decent time, especially when my husband is traveling.

[OneStepAtATime]

This is me. Since having kids I have stayed up later and later to get the alone time I crave. I really have to force myself to get to bed at a decent time, especially when my husband is traveling.

Do you have a required period of quiet, alone time in their rooms each afternoon?  Time where you can also have alone/quiet time?  Is your son an introvert?  Perhaps you all need more alone time?

[Rachel]

To answer a few questions...

 

Yes, we do daily quiet time from 1-3. He usually reads or plays Legos. Of my 3 kids he is the one who needs this time the most.

 

I feel like he gets plenty of daily physical activity but it's possible I'm underestimating him. He was on swim team this summer. An hour of swimming laps daily plus an hour or two at the pool just playing afterward didn't really wear him out enough to cause him to go right to sleep without reading first.

 

For this school year we are doing 20-30 minutes of yoga at home every morning, a weekly 2 hour PE class, plus he runs cross country. He plays outside daily, usually a couple hours of bike riding, tree climbing, and just being a kid. We also go hiking or go to play in a creek regularly.

 

He definitely struggles with self regulation in regards to reading. He is disciplined enough to practice piano daily without reminders or prodding. It seems like at age 8 a timer would be a good reminder that it's time to quit reading but he just wants to finish the next chapter, or there isn't much left in the book, and then he's dying to see what the next book is like, or he was trying to finish this book so he can read this cool book he just found at the library.

 

The self regulation and reading isn't just at bedtime. It's just that bedtime is where it begins to interfere with how he functions. If I'm talking to him and he's trying to read the fine print on the junk mail, I can remind him to focus. I think OneStep was onto something with consistently double checking he listened about turning off the lights.

 

Setting aside an hour of reading time before school may help too. I would probably have to wake him up, but I could see him liking that idea.

[Rachel]

Do you have a required period of quiet, alone time in their rooms each afternoon? Time where you can also have alone/quiet time? Is your son an introvert? Perhaps you all need more alone time?

I definitely need more alone time!

 

He is introverted, he's pretty much the male version of me.

[slackermom]

I was a kid like this, and have a dd like this too. The main thing that has worked for us is to enforce consistent wake ups, and no catch up naps. We cannot make ourselves fall asleep, and REALLY enjoy reading in the evening, so the trick is forcing ourselves to get up on time. Then, get outdoor exposure early in the day to help reset the brain's internal clock. Get plenty of exercise during the day to really work off steam. Find the best time of day to take a shower, figuring out if that is a cue to wake up, or to wind down. Work on ways to prep the mind and body for sleep. 

 

When one of us is sick, we prioritize rest over the schedule, so I find we have to reset the schedule again after an illness.

[Clemsondana]

We had to remove light sources in my son's room for a while.  He'll get so distracted reading at lunch that he forgets to eat.  We've also found that making sure that he's really tired at bedtime helps (we rarely have this problem when when his sports are practicing!).  I've also noticed that if the thing that he's reading at bedtime is nonfiction, a short story collection, or something that he is re-reading, it's a lot easier for him to put it down. 

[Guest]

Oh my, your son is one of my daughters :D. She does the same thing.

 

This kid doesn't fall asleep easily anyway but we don't allow reading in bed because her eyes are already bad. However I'm considering letting her begin reading in another room for an hour or two before bed while the other kids are falling asleep as a compromise. We are in the process moving all the books out of the bedrooms and into the play room, so the bedroom JUST has beds and nothing else, because we are getting too many kids playing with toys and books when they should be sleeping and then when the littles are napping there isn't a good place for the older kids the play.

 

Moving the books out and scheduling some reading time are our best solutions after working on this for awhile. It removed the source of the issue and gives a place and time where she *can* read that isn't going to go too late or hurt her eyes.

[Guest]

He gets books from our school room when there aren't any in his room. We can't lock the door unless we also lock him out of the bathroom (it's sort of a Jack n Jill bathroom) but he knows how to pop open the lock anyway. I wonder if my husband could put a bolt on the bathroom door that connects to the school room and switch the school door lock to a keyed lock?

His breaking the rules and intentionally sneaking around is NOT okay. I would absolutely check his room in the evening (by alarm if need be to wake me up) and issue consequences if I had expressly denied his reading in that way and removed easy access, and then he went and deliberately disobeyed.

 

When you ask him why he does his and why he will not follow any agreed upon rules what does he say? Has he had input into the evening routine and possible compromises?

[Guest]

I guess you could look at this as intervention for an addict. I was addicted to books. I created my own card catalog system for my books. I read every night. Books meant a ton to me. I would have hated being limited in my interaction with books. At the same time, I was not able to regulate my behavior. I was a book addict. Try to see it from that perspective. He is going to need a lot of structure to help him regulate his behavior and reset his clock for when to sleep, when to read, etc. Not punitive but just some help for his own physical health and wellbeing.

Bingo. If he is doing this much to get around sensible nighttime boundaries it's going to have to be more hands on. And do work with him for the solution - if he buys in into it you're going to have an easier time reminding of the agreement if he breaks it. He's not so little he can't work with you on this but he is little enough and struggling enough with self control that he needs more active help enforcing those boundaries once they're set.

[TerriM]

LOL!  When I was a kid, I'd finish a book by nightlight!  

 

Sounds like you need to camp out in the bedroom until he falls asleep for about a month.  And be sure he's not faking the slow breathing. :)Then reevaluate in a month when he's had enough sleep to behave better.

 

How many of us spend time on the internet after we should be asleep by virtue of the fact that we're too tired to get off?  Seems like he may have the same problem at this point.

[Black-eyed Suzan]

Re: exercise. My ODS needs at least 4 hours of strenuous exercise daily to be actually tired. That means swimming, soccer, etc. Bike riding and playing outside in our neighborhood aren't strenuous enough to tire him out. So you may very well be underestimating his exercise needs.

Edited September 10, 2016 by Black-eyed Suzan

[Guest]

 ..

Edited September 12, 2016 by Heigh Ho

[mommy2ella]

^{DD would be this kid, and I am this adult.  The way we avoid it for DD is to let her listen to audio CDs as she goes to sleep - and not new audio, either.  Usually, it's history or science CDs that she's listened to over and over.  If it's quiet, her mind whirls too much to allow her to sleep.  It's the same for me.  Without a book, I'm up an average of 15 times while I'm trying to fall asleep, jotting down notes about things that keep running through my head.    My DH wakes up in the middle of the night most nights and has to turn off my reading light and remove the book from my face.}  

Edited September 10, 2016 by mommy2ella

[Rachel]

His breaking the rules and intentionally sneaking around is NOT okay. I would absolutely check his room in the evening (by alarm if need be to wake me up) and issue consequences if I had expressly denied his reading in that way and removed easy access, and then he went and deliberately disobeyed.

 

When you ask him why he does his and why he will not follow any agreed upon rules what does he say? Has he had input into the evening routine and possible compromises?

It is definitely an obedience issue. His ideal bedtime routine would be sitting in the living room reading with my husband and me until we go to bed. That isn't happening.

 

He doesn't have a good reason for why this keeps happening, he's 8, he hasn't developed reason yet. He is open and agreeable to trying something like reading in the playroom for an hour before moving to his room. He may even do a good job for 2-3 days, but the pull toward books is strong and he doesn't have a particular punishment deters him from reading. I think more follow through on my part will help. I don't want to kill his love of reading, I just want him to get an appropriate amount of sleep for his needs.

[Arcadia]

When DS11 could not fall asleep, I would let him do work until he is sleepy enough to fall asleep. The unfortunate consequence is that he finish curriculum faster than intended. The AoPS books and physics books tire his brain enough to go to sleep,

 

Eventually the solution was to go to bed at dusk, listening to AM radio with an earphone. I learned to tell distance and pay attention to the weather as I noted what time KDKA and the less strong stations bounced into reception.

My kids just fell asleep at 12:13am listening to Carmina Burana. I would listen to Classic FM in college hostel to fall asleep because that was a 24/7 channel. My hostel was so quiet at night that being a city girl, it was too quiet to sleep.

 

ETA:

It is 2am and I'm still reading as hubby is doing his computer backup. Doesn't help that I can read without my glasses :lol: I'll probably catch a nap at the YMCA while kids are in swimming lessons.

Edited September 11, 2016 by Arcadia

[Rachel]

Tonight he was given the choice to read for a certain amount of time or to a certain page. He chose to go for time. When his timer went off, he turned off the light and laid down for a minute before going to the bathroom. 10 minutes later he was back in bed reading again, I followed up and took the book. 10 minutes later I checked again and he was asleep.

 

It will take some time but I think me following up will help with this situation.

[shawthorne44]

that sounds like a good plan.  

[maize]

Does he like audio books? The Audible app allows you to set a sleep timer and automatically turns itself off.

 

If he'll listen to an audio book rather than reading he'll have something to occupy his brain at bedtime without light to keep him wakeful, and it will shut off at the pre-determined time.

Edited September 13, 2016 by maize

[eternalsummer]

I don't say this to suggest it is what is going on with your kid, but for others who may have a similar issue in the future and read this thread:

I was a kid that read and stayed up reading late into the night, almost every night, from say age 7 to age 18 or so.

 

Here is why: I had terrible general anxiety, and it peaked at night.  I was afraid (at night) of burglars, rapists, murderers, people who would kidnap you and stick you in a basement forever, etc. etc.  It took hours for me to get to sleep.  The best way to stave off these fears and reduce the feeling of anxiety was to lose myself in a book; eventually I'd fall asleep reading.  I was probably sleep deprived for those years but the alternative was not sleeping; it was fear.

 

 

Some of my best memories of my father are when he'd get up in the middle of the night to smoke a cigarette and I'd see the soft red lit end of his cigarette in the kitchen (I often slept in the living room) and I'd feel safe, like there was someone awake, watching out for me.

 

Anyway, I've never made my kids stop reading at night because I project my own childhood onto them, I guess.  I have one who has some nighttime fears (needs a nightlight, has occasional nightmares, is uncomfortable with being awake alone but finds it hard to get to sleep) and he often reads himself to sleep.  Luckily we homeschool so he sleeps in.  It is a wonderful benefit of homeschooling, that he gets 3 hours more sleep a night than I did as a child.

Edited September 13, 2016 by ananemone

[JoJosMom]

Tonight he was given the choice to read for a certain amount of time or to a certain page. He chose to go for time. When his timer went off, he turned off the light and laid down for a minute before going to the bathroom. 10 minutes later he was back in bed reading again, I followed up and took the book. 10 minutes later I checked again and he was asleep.

 

It will take some time but I think me following up will help with this situation.

 

It sounds like you've reached a workable solution (yay!), so I really have nothing to add.  I just wanted to say that I feel your pain.  We've had to impose a variety of odd-sounding rules over the years:  There shalt be no reading material in the bathroom! (Lest she disappear for HOURS. How does one sit on the pot for HOURS? :huh: ), There shalt be no reading whilst walking! (Seriously.  We have stairs. And furniture.  And outside there are trees.)  There shalt be no books in the bed!  (And searching a loft bed is a real pain in the patootie, let me tell you.)  Good luck, Mama! :grouphug:

[Rachel]

It sounds like you've reached a workable solution (yay!), so I really have nothing to add. I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. We've had to impose a variety of odd-sounding rules over the years: There shalt be no reading material in the bathroom! (Lest she disappear for HOURS. How does one sit on the pot for HOURS? :huh: ), There shalt be no reading whilst walking! (Seriously. We have stairs. And furniture. And outside there are trees.) There shalt be no books in the bed! (And searching a loft bed is a real pain in the patootie, let me tell you.) Good luck, Mama! :grouphug:

We have that same rule! Our children may be kindred spirits. So far he's doing well, we have had a couple late nights in a row so he has been so exhausted he had to go straight to sleep.

[shawthorne44]

It sounds like you've reached a workable solution (yay!), so I really have nothing to add.  I just wanted to say that I feel your pain.  We've had to impose a variety of odd-sounding rules over the years:  There shalt be no reading material in the bathroom! (Lest she disappear for HOURS. How does one sit on the pot for HOURS? :huh: ), There shalt be no reading whilst walking! (Seriously.  We have stairs. And furniture.  And outside there are trees.)  There shalt be no books in the bed!  (And searching a loft bed is a real pain in the patootie, let me tell you.)  Good luck, Mama! :grouphug:

 

Meanie!   :lol:

 

Where else do people read?  Walking and sitting on the pot is otherwise such a waste of time.  Although, I will admit audiobooks are much safer for walking.  

[pkbab5]

Wake him up early no matter how late he slept. Eventually, in a few weeks, the body craves rest and will go to sleep as soon as he hits the bed. If you can, consider putting your son is very rigorous organized daily sport with a coach - e.g. swim team or martial arts. The high level of exercise will tire him out sufficiently as to make him sleep on time.

 

I was a book addict until I went to college. To this day, I struggle to fit my sleeping schedules with my family's sleeping schedule because of the poor sleep habits that I developed as a child.

 

This.

 

I was this kid too.  I used to read in the shower.  Hold the book with one hand out of the water, and shower with the other hand.  It was nuts.

 

The only thing that got me to go to bed was passing out from exhaustion because my parents would wake me up early.  Some mornings it was very very difficult to get me up.  I have fond memories of my dad flipping over my mattress on me, and me falling back asleep on the floor under my mattress... lol good times.

[slackermom]

This.

 

I was this kid too. I used to read in the shower. Hold the book with one hand out of the water, and shower with the other hand. It was nuts.

 

I learned from someone on the wtm forums that I could put my kindle in a zip lock bag to keep it dry and still swipe the screen to turn the page. Heh.

[pkbab5]

I learned from someone on the wtm forums that I could put my kindle in a zip lock bag to keep it dry and still swipe the screen to turn the page. Heh.

 

Genius.

 

[Runningmom80]

I don't say this to suggest it is what is going on with your kid, but for others who may have a similar issue in the future and read this thread:

I was a kid that read and stayed up reading late into the night, almost every night, from say age 7 to age 18 or so.

 

Here is why: I had terrible general anxiety, and it peaked at night.  I was afraid (at night) of burglars, rapists, murderers, people who would kidnap you and stick you in a basement forever, etc. etc.  It took hours for me to get to sleep.  The best way to stave off these fears and reduce the feeling of anxiety was to lose myself in a book; eventually I'd fall asleep reading.  I was probably sleep deprived for those years but the alternative was not sleeping; it was fear.

 

 

Some of my best memories of my father are when he'd get up in the middle of the night to smoke a cigarette and I'd see the soft red lit end of his cigarette in the kitchen (I often slept in the living room) and I'd feel safe, like there was someone awake, watching out for me.

 

Anyway, I've never made my kids stop reading at night because I project my own childhood onto them, I guess.  I have one who has some nighttime fears (needs a nightlight, has occasional nightmares, is uncomfortable with being awake alone but finds it hard to get to sleep) and he often reads himself to sleep.  Luckily we homeschool so he sleeps in.  It is a wonderful benefit of homeschooling, that he gets 3 hours more sleep a night than I did as a child.

 

My DS has anxiety and this is why he reads at night.  I'm trying to help him deal with the anxiety, and being more lenient with the reading in the mean time.  This is a great point to make about a problem that some parents might not realize. I personally didn't mention it because I figured it was just something my kid was dealing with.

Edited September 19, 2016 by Runningmom80

[chocolate-chip chooky]

My DS has anxiety and this is why he reads at night.  I'm trying to help him deal with the anxiety, and being more lenient with the reading in the mean time.  This is a great point to make about a problem that some parents might not realize. I personally didn't mention it because I figured it was just something my kid was dealing with.

 

My daughter is an anxious person too and night time seems to enlarge all her worries. She's also a thinker, so turning off her brain at night is very, very difficult. If she has nothing to actively think about (eg a book) then she'll dwell on all sorts of worries, including worrying about not getting to sleep. But if she's too absorbed in a good book she also can't turn her brain off. Time ticks by and she still ends up worrying about not getting to sleep.

 

Our solution was to subscribe to audible and she now listens to audiobooks of books she's already read. That way she can think about something without the 'I need to find out what's going to happen next' element, and her body can relax and not hold anything up.

 

It's really, really helped with night time anxiety (which tips over into OCD-ish stuff at its worst times).

 

I have no idea how many times she's listened to The Westing Game. She adores that book.

Edited September 19, 2016 by chocolate-chip chooky