Scared of Kindergarten?

[ReadingMama1214]

Dd is in preschool this year. She goes for half a day (3hrs) after lunch. we are fortunate enough that her teacher from prek3 added a half day prek4 class so Dd has been in the same room with the same teachers for both this year and last. Dd is somewhat of a cautious/anxious child. She regularly talks about not wanting to go to K next year. She'll go on and on about missing her teachers and her class. Then she'll fluctuate and talk about the fun things in K, but end by saying she doesn't want to go. We reassure her that it's a year off and she has a lot of time left in PreK. We also are in similar social circles as her teacher and see her outside of school (not regularly, but often enough).

 

How do we ease this anxiety? She's been talking about not wanting to go to K for almost a year now. She knows she'll go to a different school than she's at now. The one we are sending her to didn't offer PreK or else we'd have sent her there. We talk about what's fun about k and making new friends. Trying to be positive about it.

[SarahW]

Some kids are especially anxious about change.

 

Is the eventual K a part of a public elementary school? Do they have a playground open to the public during non-school hours?

 

That's one trick we use for our DS when we move to a new place and he has a new school. We go to the school playground, very casually at first. Then a bit more. Then we mention how nice it is. And look, it's the playground for this nice looking school! He usually sniffs, and remains unimpressed, but it does seriously help the first day of school go smoother (as in, not trigger a complete meltdown smoother).

 

You could also see if the elementary school does a play, or a fair, or something. Just to get her in the building for a short time for something fun. Once she's familiar with it, she may not be so opposed.

[SKL]

I think I would drop the subject of KG for a while.  Most likely time will fix this.

 

If she brings it up, you might point out that all her classmates will be in KG too, and some of them might go to KG with her.

 

Does she have a lovey or something she likes to take to school, or a ritual she counts on?  Maybe assure her that she'll still be able to have that in KG.

 

Also, has she visited KG?  Once she has had a chance to play around in the KG room a bit, she may start looking forward to that.

 

When I was 4yo, my brothers told me the KG teacher used to beat children with hangers.  I was terrified.  :p  I got over it in about 5 minutes after school started.

Edited September 8, 2016 by SKL

[ReadingMama1214]

Some kids are especially anxious about change.

 

Is the eventual K a part of a public elementary school? Do they have a playground open to the public during non-school hours?

 

That's one trick we use for our DS when we move to a new place and he has a new school. We go to the school playground, very casually at first. Then a bit more. Then we mention how nice it is. And look, it's the playground for this nice looking school! He usually sniffs, and remains unimpressed, but it does seriously help the first day of school go smoother (as in, not trigger a complete meltdown smoother).

 

You could also see if the elementary school does a play, or a fair, or something. Just to get her in the building for a short time for something fun. Once she's familiar with it, she may not be so opposed.

It's part of a charter school. I plan to bring her on a tour once she gets accepted. I don't want to show her the school before that because there's no guarantee that she will get in. But once she's in, I do plan to take her to see it.

[ReadingMama1214]

I think I would drop the subject of KG for a while. Most likely time will fix this.

 

If she brings it up, you might point out that all her classmates will be in KG too, and some of them might go to KG with her.

 

Does she have a lovey or something she likes to take to school, or a ritual she counts on? Maybe assure her that she'll still be able to have that in KG.

 

Also, has she visited KG? Once she has had a chance to play around in the KG room a bit, she may start looking forward to that.

 

When I was 4yo, my brothers told me the KG teacher used to beat children with hangers. I was terrified. :p I got over it in about 5 minutes after school started.

When it's brought up its by her. We don't bring up the subject at all beyond reading occasional books with kids in K (Ramona, etc.). Yesterday they read a book about school and the kid must have been in K which I assume made her ask about it

 

Unfortunately she can't visit this k until March/April once we know if she is enrolled there. It's a charter and I don't want to get her excited and then have it not work out. But once she's admitted, the school has tours where you can see the K class and everything and Dd could go.

 

She doesn't have a lovey of any kind. She'll occasionally bring a stuffed animal in her backpack but it switches every time.

 

I know she'll be fine once she gets to K. It's the anxiety leading up to it that's the painful part haha.

[Earthmerlin]

Calm & cool collectedness. My kid's the same way--worried. She appears to look for affirmation of her fears & if we even remotely & subliminally provide it....well, there seems no turning back. I'm a laid-back person so I don't quite 'get it' but with her perspective in mind I'm able to parent in a more relatable way (albeit imperfect at times). Playing a more 'detached & nonchalant' mom seems to quell worries--even if they still come up periodically. I think at this age, they're figuring out how to deal with their emotions. It's been my experience that with a worry-prone kid, it's imperative to put those concerns in check with a cool but firm dose of reality.....'meh....it'll be OK because....now let's move onto....'

[ReadingMama1214]

Calm & cool collectedness. My kid's the same way--worried. She appears to look for affirmation of her fears & if we even remotely & subliminally provide it....well, there seems no turning back. I'm a laid-back person so I don't quite 'get it' but with her perspective in mind I'm able to parent in a more relatable way (albeit imperfect at times). Playing a more 'detached & nonchalant' mom seems to quell worries--even if they still come up periodically. I think at this age, they're figuring out how to deal with their emotions. It's been my experience that with a worry-prone kid, it's imperative to put those concerns in check with a cool but firm dose of reality.....'meh....it'll be OK because....now let's move onto....'

Thanks. I am similar. Even when I am anxious, I am black and white about it and can easily align myself with reality again. We do put her fears in check by telling her it will be okay.

 

Today she's moved on by saying "mom when I'm in kindergarten I will do math by myself and read by myself and I won't need a teacher or you" so maybe she's moving on. Haha. I'll make sure to put it to rest quickly next time she seems anxious about it

[kiwik]

With my worrier have started telling him we will worry about it closer to the time. It seems to help.