Started PS 1st grade today...

[nature girl]

I'm so scared, but also so excited for her. (And expecting a phone call at any moment about how she's climbing tables or has crawled under her desk and won't come out...) Up until the last minute we've been debating over whether this is the right thing for her, but I'm glad we're giving it a shot. She was super-excited this morning, didn't show any fear at all and I'm so proud of her.

 

Praying for a good day, and a good year.

[maize]

I hope your dd has a great day!

 

I've got one in public school for the first time this year as well, so far it's going great and he seems happy. 

[OneStepAtATime]

Wishing you and your kiddo the best Nature Girl. 

 

And you, too, maize!

 

Hope it all works out for everyone.  :)

 

 

[PeterPan]

She's gonna be fine!  And if she's not, they'll implement a behavior plan and work on it.  :)

[nature girl]

I'll remove this soon, but...

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/40596349@N08/29413656252/in/dateposted-public/

[maize]

She's adorable!

[Lecka]

She is so adorable! I hope she has a great first day!

[OneStepAtATime]

What an awesome photo and a really adorable child!  :)

[PeterPan]

She looks so happy!

[Citrusheights5]

She is adorable, I hope she had an amazing day!

[nature girl]

Thanks, all. She did really well yesterday! The teacher said she had a few issues with blurting out answers instead of raising her hand, but that's something she just needs to get used to...Otherwise she did great, followed rules, and didn't have a hard time staying in her seat. (They read a story called "First Day Jitters," and the kids were supposed to write something that they felt jittery about before their first day. She wrote "Pretty much everything but not too bad." LOL.)

 

She was a wreck when she got home, though. Super-wiggly, all over the place. I'm sure she was exhausted. Hopefully that will improve, but it's going to be hard only seeing the "worst" of her. I finally had the idea of doing some mindfulness at around 6PM, and that helped quite a bit, she calmed down enough to sit for dinner.

 

So strange having her gone all day...not in a good way, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I miss her!

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks for the update.  I am glad she made it through and did well.  

[Terabith]

Does she have an aide?

[nature girl]

Does she have an aide?

 

She does, at least for now. (We have an official IEP meeting in October, where they'll let me know whether they think she should continue.) I hope they'll let us keep her, but I know it costs money...I think at least for now it's invaluable, the aide took her out for a couple of breaks yesterday, I saw her walking in line next to her to keep her from wandering, and I'm sure she'll redirect her if she gets off task.

[Mom28GreatKids]

Yea, Nature Girl. She is gonna do great because you have done such a great job advocating for her so far. Hope it continues to be a good experience!!! Go Anna go!!!

[Terabith]

How are things going?

[nature girl]

Sorry I'm just seeing this, I haven't been on the boards for a few days. (Because I have a publicly schooled child....  :001_unsure:  )

 

It's going okay...Not perfectly, there have been a few misbehaviors, mostly talking when she should be listening, which has led to time outs, and on Friday swinging a coat hanger back and forth which led to recess being taken away. Not sure how I feel about the discipline...(Okay, I do know how I feel about it, but I don't know if I should address it with the teacher before her IEP meeting in October. I don't want to be difficult. But I wish they'd take into account that this is completely new to her, that she's learning, and I think doing quite well for someone who's still feeling her way.) The teacher is VERY young, and I'm guessing this is the first time she's had to deal with ADHD. From talking to the aide, older with much SpEd experience, she's doing fantastically. Anna's having a hard time bringing home her communication log with X's on it, it upsets her and she usually doesn't even remember what the X was for, although she remembers the punishment. So it seems like the issues aren't being well communicated to her...

 

This also seems to only be happening in the morning, so it could be that her meds haven't started working yet. The bus is also late every single day, so she's the last into school and doesn't have any time before she's required to sit and be still and quiet. I HAVE said something about this, but there haven't been any changes. Considering asking if her aide can take her for a quick walk around the school before she has to come in, to get that excess energy out.

 

The biggest issue is that she's been saying she hates school, that she thinks it's boring, and that she never gets to have fun. There's no room for creativity, seriously none other than an hour of art a week. She's not learning anything either, which I'm okay with, she's hopefully at least learning to listen and follow instructions from another adult. But there have been days she's sat on our driveway and refused to get on the bus...It makes me want to cry, because I don't really want her going either. But hopefully this is just growing pains, and we'll get past it once she gets used to the routine.

 

She's made one friend, a boy, who is also new (and who I'm guessing has discalculia...He's taken from the classroom when they do math, and I spied on his mother's facebook :blushing: (I know, I know! But she has a "best friend" I've never met!) and from the way his pictures and writing look it's obvious there's some sort of LD. Which will make him a good friend, I think? More likely to understand special needs...Although right now all that matters is that they both love dragons and bugs, which when you're young is pretty much all you need in a friend.

 

So yeah, overall mixed...I still don't know whether we've done the right thing, but I'm glad we're at least trying so that if we pull her at some point in the future, we'll know it actually IS best for her. Planning to go through the IEP process and reevaluate, then hopefully we can stay at least till Christmas before we see how she's doing and reevaluate again.

[Arcadia]

You can let the teacher and aide know ASAP about not taking recess or lunch away. My DS11 meltdown from "low sugar" when he was younger. His teacher learned the hard way what it is like for a 1st grader to crash without lunch even though he had recess.

[PeterPan]

You have a private IQ score on her?  Saying they're bored is an ADHD thing, sure.  Swinging hangers and being dangerous and non-compliant is not merely ADHD.  I say merely and people spit about that.  Fine, whatever.  That's social thinking and pretty astonishing honestly.  Where was the aide during this?  I think they already gave you an aide, already know she needs supports, and that you need to talk with someone sooner, rather than later.  My ds does that kind of non-compliance too.  To me they're gathering data so they can fill out behavioral forms and change her diagnosis or at least her placement.

 

It doesn't sound like a situation that is working for her. I would talk with someone.  I don't know who that person is, because I'm not using the ps.  But start with someone.  Just ask.  Don't tell yourself it's happening because the teacher is green.  The issue is your dd.  If her meds have not kicked in, then get them in earlier.  But my lands, they start in like 20 minutes, yes?  So they should have kicked in.  To me that's just wicked transition issues.  That's where she needs the stepped up supports of someone used to dealing with that.  They can work on bonding, have more flexibility to work with her, etc.  She might not be in her best/final placement.

 

And no, I wouldn't allow punitive because punitive doesn't WORK for kids with serious problems.  It works if the kid was being bad.  It doesn't work if the kid has severe self-regulation and transition issues. 

 

Are you doing things the night before to set her up for the plan, get it in her mind, and improve her transitions?  For now, is there anything you can do that would improve the transition or make it pair with something better?  Can the aide be on the school bus?  Or do work the night before?  Or set up positive supports and praise when she does well the steps for the morning?  

Edited September 26, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

Adding: How far is she into the school year?  Around here schools started early August, so kids have been in school 6+ weeks, meaning I expect a lot of issues to be smoothed out.  But if she started after labor day, that's only 2-3 weeks, kwim?

[Heathermomster]

When DS was in kindie, the expectation was that the kids were going to be corrected many times because they were young and needed to adjust to obeying instructions. Correction is normal and is part of classroom management. It may feel extreme, but if you were to speak with other parents, their children are getting corrected as well. I expect your child doesn't like receiving correcting and she wants to have her way. Your DD should not have been hanging off of or messing with coat racks. BTW, consider driving her to school if she's late all the time.

[nature girl]

She started September 7, so it'll be 3 weeks on Wednesday.

 

You have a private IQ score on her?  Saying they're bored is an ADHD thing, sure.  Swinging hangers and being dangerous and non-compliant is not merely ADHD.  I say merely and people spit about that.  Fine, whatever.  That's social thinking and pretty astonishing honestly.  Where was the aide during this?  I think they already gave you an aide, already know she needs supports, and that you need to talk with someone sooner, rather than later.  My ds does that kind of non-compliance too.  To me they're gathering data so they can fill out behavioral forms and change her diagnosis or at least her placement.

 

It doesn't sound like a situation that is working for her. I would talk with someone.  I don't know who that person is, because I'm not using the ps.  But start with someone.  Just ask.  Don't tell yourself it's happening because the teacher is green.  The issue is your dd.  If her meds have not kicked in, then get them in earlier.  But my lands, they start in like 20 minutes, yes?  So they should have kicked in.  To me that's just wicked transition issues.  That's where she needs the stepped up supports of someone used to dealing with that.  They can work on bonding, have more flexibility to work with her, etc.  She might not be in her best/final placement.

 

The Vyvanse takes an hour and a half to start working on her, and I don't think it's at full-effectiveness for at least 2 hours. She has an 8 hour day, and I'm worried that if I dose her earlier she'll be starting rebound around the time she has to sit on the bus, which would be a bad combination. I also am not sure her dose is high enough yet...It's a definite improvement from non-medicated, but she's not as centered as she was on Focalin.

 

I don't see how swinging a hanger back and forth (not swinging ON, just swinging it) and talking is astonishing and dangerous? They seem like pretty minor non-compliances to me. In my mind she's still feeling her way, maybe testing a bit. She's bored sitting at morning meeting and so she talks to other kids...She was feeling silly so she swung a hanger instead of hanging up her jacket (and sang while using the bathroom adjoined to the classroom, which was another offense.) If this is the worst she does after this huge life change then in my mind she's doing pretty well. (And yes, noncompliance IS an ADHD thing. I think people whose kids are inatentive-ADHD forget that combined-type is a completely different animal.)

 

 

Are you doing things the night before to set her up for the plan, get it in her mind, and improve her transitions?  For now, is there anything you can do that would improve the transition or make it pair with something better?  Can the aide be on the school bus?  Or do work the night before?  Or set up positive supports and praise when she does well the steps for the morning?  

 

Could you elaborate on this a bit? Give an example of work we could do the night before?

 

Mornings at home are incredibly hard, by the way...Much harder than they ever were before school (although I did notice worsened ADHD symptoms in the morning since switching to Vyvanse, I'm worried her baseline has changed since starting.) I've been having to almost dress and feed her because she won't sit still to eat or put on socks, all she wants to do is dance around, or climb on me and hug me and yell that she loves me. I realize this must be a transition thing, that it's all hard for her, and I'm able to stay patient and try to give her what she needs, but my lord it's a lot to take before coffee.

I'm also noticing some anger issues...We're not sure if it's anger at us because she feels abandoned in some way, or is also Vyvanse related. Nothing major, just talking out, but she's definitely more defiant than she was all of last year...which is hard to take. We haven't figured out the best way to address it.

[nature girl]

When DS was in kindie, the expectation was that the kids were going to be corrected many times because they were young and needed to adjust to obeying instructions. Correction is normal and is part of classroom management. It may feel extreme, but if you were to speak with other parents, their children are getting corrected as well. I expect your child doesn't like receiving correcting and she wants to have her way. Your DD should not have been hanging off of or messing with coat racks. BTW, consider driving her to school if she's late all the time.

 

Yes, I've thought of driving her, but as of now she actually likes the bus, a couple of times she's said it was her favorite part of the day...I think it comes from having seen and read books with school buses all these years and now finally getting a chance to be part of that experience.

 

And I'm torn on the discipline, which is why I haven't said anything yet. By all means I hope they're praising profusely when she does well, I actually requested that before she started because it's so effective for her, praise works 10 times better than criticism. The isolation of time outs is incredibly hard for her, we gave up on them early on because they've never seemed to correct anything and just make her feel awful. And I don't think recess should ever be taken away for an ADHD kid, I just don't. Being outside calms her more than anything else, plus she's trying to make friends and this is really her one chance to get to play with them.

 

ETA: But I think time-outs and recess are their go-to ways of guiding the children, and I don't know that they have anything else in their toolbox to try to show her what she needs to be doing. I think praising her when she's sitting still and listening would be effective, but it's harder on them, not something they're used to, and that sort of shaping takes more time. Plus they might feel like it's not fair to the other kids since they're disciplined when they have the same misbehaviors.

Edited September 26, 2016 by nature girl

[SKL]

I think I might be a little confused about the facts, based on others' reactions.

 

I was going to say that when my kids started 1st (coming in from a very different school situation), I immediately got a series of horrified reports from the teachers saying that my kids basically didn't know how to navigate their new school.  Well duh.  That faded once they figured out the lay of the land.

 

I still had troubles with one kid throughout 1st grade.  It was a rough year, but we held on and things have gotten lots better since then.  I would venture to say she's a good student now, even gets kudos for acting right when her classmates aren't.  :)

 

One thing that might have been a factor was:  my kid needed to find the thing(s) she could feel proud of.  In her case that was sports, but she didn't know that in 1st grade.  Now you can see how focused she is, a real team player, encouraging others, calm within herself.  Everyone needs something to be proud of IMO.

[Heathermomster]

If your child is singing while using a toilet adjacent to the classroom, that means that she is distracting other children.  Supposing a boy did that in class while your DD was focusing on handwriting?  You'd be meefed because he distracted her.

 

Supposing another boy takes a hanger, swings it, and accidently dots your child in the eye.  Would you be so forgiving towards the other child?

 

Ultimately, we are talking classroom management.  It's not so much about your child so much as all the students.  

 

I cannot remember. This is her first time in a public school classroom, yes?  Her meds aren't quite right?  My son's behavior used to embarrass me all the time, but kids are kids.  She sounds normal to me.  Anyhoo...They are children and learning.  

 

I'd be sending fruity scented dry erase markers and dark chocolate to the teacher on a bi-weekly basis.

[nature girl]

I think I might be a little confused about the facts, based on others' reactions.

 

No, I think I'm confused too and I know the facts, lol.

 

Heather was saying that they expect kindergarteners will have these sorts of issues, and in a way she's a kindergartener...Her emotional maturity is probably actually younger. And this is the first time she's really had to buckle down for hours a day, and listen to and obey adults who are not her parents. Her tendency is to try to make friends with the adults she's getting to know, sometimes by acting silly, and I think that's part of what's been happening. I'm expecting it should get better as she gets used to how things work, but (and maybe I'm more lax than I should be), even if it doesn't, I wouldn't consider this horrible.

Edited September 26, 2016 by nature girl

[nature girl]

Yes Heather, I understand that. I'm not saying her behavior is acceptable and that they should be ignoring it, just that it's not awful. And that time outs (and certainly loss of recess) tend to make her more upset, which can lead to more misbehaviors, where praise for good behaviors have made all the difference for us. OhE and others recommended Kazdin's book to us a year and a half ago, and she's completely turned around since we started using his methods, she's become a different kid, and now I'm seeing her regress a bit, not just at school but at home. I realize this is too difficult for a school to do, but that's where I'm coming from here.

[PeterPan]

You might want a send an email to the teacher and cc it to the SN coor who is handling your IEP.  That way you can get some action on stepping up supports or seeing what needs to be stepped up.  No, they should not be limited to punitive.  Within the classroom there can be positive supports written into the IEP.  There can be a lot more written into the IEP for that class setting, and they have other class settings.

 

I seem to get a different picture from you from the things you describe.  I don't think a teacher would punish a child for a small thing (a twirl with a hanger) and a small thing could have been easily redirected.  I'm just colored by my ds.  If my ds did what you're describing in that setting, it would be a lot more than benign.  It would have been something that scared kids and that the teacher could not get to stop using normal techniques.  So I'm looking at the range of what these words mean and I just think there's some understatement or something going on, more intensity, an intensity that is hard to control.

 

Have you put a call into the ped's office to talk it through with them?  They're another resource for you.  I think the challenge is that you've stepped up demands (an ABA term), and when we step up demands, we EXPECT that there are going to be problems.  She's never had a situation where she had to regulate for this long, with this much demands.  The summer program was not like this.  It's in her best interest to have more supports so it can be a more positive experience.  You can say that to the school, that she seems to be x, you want them to bring in more supports, blah blah, to get the dynamic to improve.

 

I think the question of whether she's having more of a particular side effect is something you have to talk through with the doctor.  Some kids benefit from a combo of meds.  Some kids benefit from a specialized classroom.  Absolutely there's more they could be doing to get her successful with this stepped up level of demands.  She needs more supports and it's the school's legal responsibility to provide them.

 

I think that driving her yourself might make the problem worse, not better.  I'm just speaking for how my ds is.  At least with the school bus it's set in stone, unflexing, you have to get on.  How is her behavior on the bus?  Is her behavior appropriate there?  And does she transition from the bus into the school appropriately?  I think if you open up the option NOT to take the bus, you're gonna have this horrible genie unleashed.  Then she'll be able to buck you for hours.  

 

Have you talked with the ped about the amount of time that med is taking to kick in?  That doesn't seem normal to me.  Vyvanse is connected to an enzyme, so maybe her enzyme levels of that thing are low?  You need to get that figured out, whether it's that the dose is low or she has a metabolic anomaly or what.  I just don't think that's normal for it to take so long.  There could be more going on there.

 

Back to the behavior.  I think you're used to her behavior.  I read the things you're putting here, and my eyebrows really go up.  I can totally see what the teacher is frustrated.  Keep talking with your people.  It took us a year and a half to get an honest, thorough IEP done.  Like two times through.  And even then it's not PERFECT.  It's just that my ds is complex enough (and well-trained enough from awesome homeschooling, hehe) that at first they were like hey, what's the beef?  And then more and more started unraveling.  As the demands increased, the behaviors increased.  It took two times through the process (well technically three) and LOTS of observations of instruction by the PSYCH, not lower people, to get it sorted out.  He spent multiple hours at our house observing him with people.  So it's ok to keep pushing for supports, for observations, etc.  There is more they can do.

 

Social thinking affects behavior too.  It's not just that their body is in motion.  Lots of people have lots of ADHD and energy and have appropriate behavior.  It's that their social thinking doesn't get them to take perspective and notice how other people feel about their actions or care.

Edited September 26, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[SKL]

There's a range of behaviors, yes, but there are also a range of teacher responses.

 

IMO when my kids were that age, I felt the teacher gave them a hard time for acting their age.  Some teachers are more likely to do this the more they are "warned" about issues.  There were some real issues, but they were over-blown by the reaction of the teacher IMO.

 

In the hanger example, I can't tell if this happened once, twice, or five times (assuming she was warned after the 1st time).  Was she the only one doing it?  Was it an unconscious stimming behavior or a defiant choice to repeat a misbehavior?

 

I also honestly don't see the point of telling the parent she swung a hanger in class, unless it was an act of aggression.  I mean, what do you want us to do?  Beat the child when she gets home from school?  Tie her hands to her sides before school tomorrow?  Teacher needs to handle it and be done with it.

 

And I've read recently that it's counterproductive to keep behavior charts which log negative behaviors for the child to go over.  I don't like that she's bringing home the record of her mistakes every day.  Way to accentuate the negative.  If I were you I would de-emphasize that as much as possible.  I would only address the really big things; the rest would be a general "listen to your teacher.  She's the boss of her classroom."

[nature girl]

From what I've read, Vyvanse typically takes an hour and a half to start working, so I don't think she's all that unusual there, certainly on the bell curve.

 

I really need to talk with the teacher again to see whether I'm getting the full picture. There was a Back to School Night after a little over a week, and in talking with her two teachers (she's in a pull-out LA class) and the school psych, they all said she was doing well. Her main teacher said the other kids were still settling into the year as well (although she's had over a week of school since then and I think is still having similar issues.) They've told me if there were real issues they'll call me during the day, or write to me at the end of the day about them, and that hasn't happened.

 

I should get a written evaluation from the behaviorist before our IEP meeting (They're observing in the classroom now, I think), which if it's detailed enough will give me a better idea of what's going on.

 

I don't think she's scaring the other kids at all, I've never known her actions to be so over the top that she scares anyone. She certainly can be loud, though...The bus has gone reasonably well, she's stayed seated except for one time she saw a bug on the ceiling and stood on the seat (while the bus was stopped) to try to catch it. Her ride is pretty long, so I'm actually impressed that she hasn't had issues. I've given her a book to read during the ride, and I know that helps.

 

I'll have to do some research, I think, on what more they could do as far as support. I'm impressed by the aide, who seems to really like her, and I think that's been a tremendous benefit. She also takes her out on breaks 2-3 times a day (these are rewards for good behavior) which I'm sure helps, they visit the school fish, walk around to visit support staff, or she gets to play iPad for 5 minutes (which I'm not thrilled with, but it acts as a reward.) This and the pull-out LA are actually more than I expected, so I'm not sure what else I should ask for. (I might give her a wobble cushion to help her stay seated, although I'm not sure how well it would work. Her LA class actually has a standing desk, which she apparently works well with, so maybe that's something they'd agree to, although they have desks pushed together into tables so I'm not sure how well that would work.)

 

Maybe I could ask for intermittent heavy work...Lifting boxes, pushing a library cart or whatever...It really helped us at home when she wasn't able to stay still for learning, so I do wonder if that's something the aide could help with.

 

 

 

I think that driving her yourself might make the problem worse, not better.  I'm just speaking for how my ds is.  At least with the school bus it's set in stone, unflexing, you have to get on.  How is her behavior on the bus?  Is her behavior appropriate there?  And does she transition from the bus into the school appropriately?  I think if you open up the option NOT to take the bus, you're gonna have this horrible genie unleashed.  Then she'll be able to buck you for hours. 

 

Good point...Plus I'm imagining myself struggling to get her out of the car because she doesn't want to go. That probably would make things much worse...Although I could get out with her and play in the playground for 15-20 minutes, that might make a good transition.

[nature girl]

There's a range of behaviors, yes, but there are also a range of teacher responses.

 

IMO when my kids were that age, I felt the teacher gave them a hard time for acting their age.  Some teachers are more likely to do this the more they are "warned" about issues.  There were some real issues, but they were over-blown by the reaction of the teacher IMO.

 

In the hanger example, I can't tell if this happened once, twice, or five times (assuming she was warned after the 1st time).  Was she the only one doing it?  Was it an unconscious stimming behavior or a defiant choice to repeat a misbehavior?

 

I also honestly don't see the point of telling the parent she swung a hanger in class, unless it was an act of aggression.  I mean, what do you want us to do?  Beat the child when she gets home from school?  Tie her hands to her sides before school tomorrow?  Teacher needs to handle it and be done with it.

 

And I've read recently that it's counterproductive to keep behavior charts which log negative behaviors for the child to go over.  I don't like that she's bringing home the record of her mistakes every day.  Way to accentuate the negative.  If I were you I would de-emphasize that as much as possible.  I would only address the really big things; the rest would be a general "listen to your teacher.  She's the boss of her classroom."

 

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense.

 

Re: the hanger and singing in the bathroom, her teacher has only sent home the communication log with checks and X's, and Anna has been the one to tell me she's been put in time out and the reasons for it. So there may be more going on than I'm hearing, but I also know that if it was completely out of line the teacher would be communicating more.

 

I completely agree with emphasizing the positive, so haven't talked about her charts with her, but of course she notices the X's. (We saw her ped last week, and the first thing she told her (after showing her missing teeth, lol) was that she'd gotten all checks that day. She was so happy and proud...So yes, I do want to know when there are issues but I wish the charts could be handled without her seeing. And I'm praising her all the time at home for making it through each school day, but I think it would be so helpful, to both her behavior and her self-esteem, if she could get that praise at school as well.

[Terabith]

Why did you switch from the focalin?

[nature girl]

I think the focalin was making her more emotional, and more of a perfectionist, which would have made school much harder. She'd cry a couple of times a day on it. I'm not seeing as many tears during the day now (although I do see it at home more once they're worn off. Like on Saturday she refused to eat her dinner, left the table with her plate half full, then cried when my DH ate what was on the plate...It eventually came out that she'd arranged the food to look like a cat's face, and was very, VERY upset that he'd eaten it. In the past she might have been sad, but not to this extent. During the day she's fine, though. So...at this point I'm not sure which is better overall, but I'd rather have the emotions at home than at school.

[Terabith]

Yeah. That's a good reason. Sigh. I hate it when there aren't easy answers.

[PeterPan]

You had tried caffeine at one point, yes?  What if you gave her a SMALL amount of caffeine, like half an energem, in the morning to tide things over till the Vyvanse kicks in?  The caffeine is usually 3-4 hours at those low, low doses, so it might be about perfect, just a little something to keep her stable.

 

I think you taking her to the playground at the school is not working toward the long-term goal of her being able to go in and having the school situation paired with good things.  It's really something to talk with the school about, seeing what THEY can do.  My ds RUNS to his ABA people.  They have paired their coming with good things.  There IS more they can do.

 

Yes to heavy work.  If they keep her in that classroom, they can do a positive system, bring in the OT for consultative (vests, breaks, etc.) and do pullouts for OT.  

[nature girl]

You had tried caffeine at one point, yes?  What if you gave her a SMALL amount of caffeine, like half an energem, in the morning to tide things over till the Vyvanse kicks in?  The caffeine is usually 3-4 hours at those low, low doses, so it might be about perfect, just a little something to keep her stable.

 

I think you taking her to the playground at the school is not working toward the long-term goal of her being able to go in and having the school situation paired with good things.  It's really something to talk with the school about, seeing what THEY can do.  My ds RUNS to his ABA people.  They have paired their coming with good things.  There IS more they can do.

 

Yes to heavy work.  If they keep her in that classroom, they can do a positive system, bring in the OT for consultative (vests, breaks, etc.) and do pullouts for OT.  

 

I've read of people having negative effects when they try caffeine at the same time as stimulants (even though the Vyvanse takes while to work) so I'm a little scared to try. Although maybe a tiny bit wouldn't be harmful? I don't know, but caffeine wasn't all that effective for us to begin with when we tried before we started meds, it had no effect at all, positive or negative. I've thought of trying a short-acting stimulant to help with mornings, but I hate the idea of adding another med...Part of me also wants her to learn to self-regulate a bit, so that she can eventually go off meds, and this should give her the opportunity to.

 

Good point about taking her to the playground...I wonder if the aide could take her to the playground first thing, or let her spend a little time with the fish, which she loves. It would make her even later to class, though, which could be an issue. And I don't want her to have to fight to get her to leave the preferred activity. If the darned bus would come on time, she'd be able to play on the playground with the other kids who get there on their buses a bit early.

[kbutton]

I read in an adult ADHD book that caffeine can interfere with ADHD meds, and I believe it was in the direction of making them less effective. It was either a Barkley book or Gina Pera's book. 

[nature girl]

Well after all this, she got all checks today. She told me that she'd wanted to talk out a few times during morning meeting, and wanted to get up to hug her friend, but she made herself hold her breath to prevent it. So...progress? I'm impressed that she was self-aware enough and had enough impulse control (before meds started working) to come up with a way to stop herself. (Now if only she could bring that awareness and control to all areas of her life, we'd be golden.)

[Terabith]

How are things going now?  Does she have an aide?  I've been thinking about you guys.

[nature girl]

Thanks for asking! I'm almost scared to say it, but...things have really been going fantastically. She's accepted by all the kids in the class, has a bunch of good friends and seems generally well liked. She really hasn't had behavioral issues since the first month, the teachers have had all good things to say about her, that she takes redirection well and has been able to calm herself, follows rules and really doesn't act up. Her teacher said she's extremely bright and recommended her for CoGAT testing, but we decided against it. I just didn't want to put her through all that testing, which I think would be hard for her (she was in tears during neuropsych testing), and there's no real need for her to be in gifted classes. I realize she's not learning much if anything this year, but she's happy in regular class and feels good about herself, and I'm worried more advanced work might provoke her perfectionist tendencies.

 

She was in a pullout LA class in the beginning of the year, but they discontinued it after the first couple of months...They'd thought it might give her a nice break in the day, but in the end they just didn't see much benefit to it. So they switched her right before Christmas break from an IEP to a 504 Plan...She does still have an aide, but at our last meeting in December they said the aide was now distributing time between all students equally, rather than sitting with her. The aide had been taking her out on breaks, but those were phased out over the first few months...And they've now discontinued her behavior plan/communication log, because she was getting all checks throughout the day, no misbehaviors.

 

So...these are all good things, a sign that she really is doing better than anyone expected, and I'm trying not to worry that they've taken away all our safety nets (since it should be easy enough to add accommodations back in if things ever fall apart.) All in all, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. :) And best of all, she seems happy, both with school and in her life in general. (We were talking this weekend about whether it was better to be an adult or a kid, and her first answer was that kids are luckier because they get to go to school!) I still miss her like crazy, and I'm sad that I don't get to see the best of her. (She's still exhausted at the end of the day.) But I feel fairly confident now that we're doing the right thing.

[maize]

So glad to hear a positive update!

[OneStepAtATime]

Wow, that's an awesome update!   :hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

 

As I recall, you also at some point had put her in social skills classes?  Or am I nuts?   :)  If you did, do you think those were beneficial for functioning within the classroom?

Edited January 17, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Lecka]

Great news :)

[PeterPan]

But I feel fairly confident now that we're doing the right thing.

 

That's a hard place to get to, so I'm really happy for you! And, fwiw, I think you're right to put an emphasis on her emotional health and how she feels about the process and how positive the overall effect is. These bright kids learn anyway. Getting her stabilized is allowing her to learn more things. Maybe what she's learning now are the social skills, etc. That's still a lot to learn and taking a lot of brain energy!

 

Well I'm happy for you that it has worked out so well. It's a best case scenario. :)

[Terabith]

Yay!!!

[nature girl]

Wow, that's an awesome update!   :hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

 

As I recall, you also at some point had put her in social skills classes?  Or am I nuts?   :)  If you did, do you think those were beneficial for functioning within the classroom?

 

 

Yes, she was in a social skills group last spring and part of the summer...We eventually backed off, because it was incredibly expensive and not covered by insurance, and I wasn't sure how much more she'd get from it. It's hard to tease out where exactly the improvements have come from...I'm sure a good deal of it was from the social skills sessions, some from maturity, and I'm sure quite a bit from starting medication. She now is able to pause before talking or acting, which can make all the difference. I spy on her play dates, and I'm just amazed...Like last week, she was playing a game with a friend, she won the game and the friend made a move after her win and said she'd actually been the winner. I could see the battle in Anna's mind, in the past she would have insisted, but she hesitated and then said, "How about we both won?" It probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was a huge sign of how things have changed. I had to walk away because I was literally in tears, I was just so proud...

 

She's also much more back and forth in her conversations, gives people space, and lets them set the rules, even asks what they want to do next...All of this is new.

 

It's not perfect, especially when she's over-excited she can still seem a bit brash and loud. And there have been some issues with her being teased once a week or so by a couple of kids on the bus...I guess they're able to sense some of her differences. But our neighbor's son said the two boys teasing her are bullies, so I guess she's not the only one having issues with them. And there haven't been any issues with the kids in her class, all of whom seem to like and accept her. Most importantly, she gets over the tears quickly after getting home, it's not keeping her from wanting to ride or go to school. And it hurts, but it doesn't seem to be affecting her self-esteem at all. (This afternoon she was crumpled in my lap as we talked abut the bus, I told her what a cool kid she is, and in tears she said, "I really am." And yeah, she really is. :) )

[OneStepAtATime]

Sooooo glad things are going so much better.  

 

And yeah, I had to deal with bullies on a bus when I was in elementary and so did DS.  Thankfully I had a friend that rode with me which kept it from feeling so bad.  DS actually started bribing two bigger boys with water bottles (they were the last on the bus line and would get thirsty) so they would protect him from the bus bully.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: