MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I am looking for a therapist/respite worker to work with my special needs kids in my home. Someone sent me a message saying she is available to work. I need to confirm an interview time. I am hesitant because ... I don't like her picture. It is a picture of her with a pouty expression and her boyfriend kissing her on the cheek. It gives me a bad feeling when I look at it attached to a request for employment. I don't even feel like inviting her in my home for an interview. I would like a respite worker and I am having trouble finding one but sometimes if it's the wrong person it can be more trouble than it's worth. This person is not managing my taxes or mowing the lawn but working with my precious children. DH is pressuring me to ask her over anyways. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 That is extremely unprofessional. I would not hire her. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Very unprofessional. I wouldn't hire her either. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) That is not even in the ballpark of discrimination. A pouty faced photo being kissed by a boyfriend is a BIG RED FLAG! If she doesn't have the maturity to separate her professional life from her personal life, then she doesn't have the maturity to take care of your child, either. Also, I am not looking at the photo, but "pouty-faced" could be playfulness (if they were just clowning around) but it is also a manipulative technique used by people to get what they want. I say, "Just say no." And feel zero guilt about saying no! Edited August 30, 2016 by Laurie4b 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 My initial reaction to your description of the photo shouts "no". On the other hand, you need someone. I might schedule an interview without my child present to see what the person is really like. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 No way. Not professional. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fairfarmhand Posted August 30, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) I have to ask this... does she have fangs and red eyes? What about elf ears? :) Edited August 30, 2016 by fairfarmhand 53 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Where did she send you this message? Through an employment website? Through Facebook? Via email? If she sent you a FB message, then her profile picture will show, and it doesn't really matter. If she sent it through Linked In or similar, then that's not professional. I might send her a note back and tell her I find the picture unprofessional when she's seeking employment (if it's not her FB profile picture) and see what she says. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If she sent you a FB message, then her profile picture will show, and it doesn't really matter. Yes, yes it does. It demonstrates a great deal of immaturity if she doesn't realize that the photo leaves a negative impression with potential employers and others. After all, the purpose of a profile on any social media is to present yourself to the public. Photos are part of that profile. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Where did she send you this message? Through an employment website? Through Facebook? Via email? If she sent you a FB message, then her profile picture will show, and it doesn't really matter. If she sent it through Linked In or similar, then that's not professional. I might send her a note back and tell her I find the picture unprofessional when she's seeking employment (if it's not her FB profile picture) and see what she says. Even if it is via Facebook it is still unprofessional. If you are going to use Facebook as a form of work/employment communication than a profile picture needs to be professional. The entire profile should be professional since it will be the first impression a potential employer sees. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If this is a FB picture, that's a bit unfair in her defense. If it's attached to a resume, then yes, very unprofessional and I would move along to the next candidate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Yes, yes it does. It demonstrates a great deal of immaturity if she doesn't realize that the photo leaves a negative impression with potential employers and others. After all, the purpose of a profile on any social media is to present yourself to the public. Photos are part of that profile. Even if it is via Facebook it is still unprofessional. If you are going to use Facebook as a form of work/employment communication than a profile picture needs to be professional. The entire profile should be professional since it will be the first impression a potential employer sees. Well, I disagree. If someone throws out an employment opportunity on their personal FB page, then it's a pretty relaxed interaction. My neighbor down the street asked for someone to weed his front flower beds. Should I have changed my profile picture (it's of a My Little Pony character) before responding that my kids would be interested? I don't know how the OP handled this, so I am not speaking specifically to her, but if you want a professional response, advertise on a professional platform. If you're relying on FB for casual networking, expect a casual response. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 To me it would depend on how you got the photo. If it is simply her Facebook profile pic, and your communication was via Facebook or messenger, not a big deal. If she sent it as an attachment, still possible she selected the wrong photo, but I'm the type to triple check that- not everyone is. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 When people show you what they are, believe them. What, because a silly photo with her boyfriend that's not of anything scandalous, illegal, or unsafe means she's a person of poor quality? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 She contacted me through an employment web site for special needs workers and sent an email describing her experience and the picture was attached. The other people who have contacted me through this web site never had a picture. When I click on the picture it does not go to Facebook or anywhere. When I look at the picture I just don't feel like calling her. It's not a "professional" job. I don't want someone to come over dressed in a suit. I would like someone fun but ... I just felt not good looking at her picture, maybe like something was being imposed on me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 My brother discriminates all the time based on Facebook photos. He runs an adventure camp for adults and is looking for people who aren't going to be drunk and partying every night after they get off work since they stay at the adventure camp all summer. He won't even interview people whose Facebook is plastered with the very things he wants them to avoid when they're at his camp. What is on Facebook is the persona they want to portray to the world. So, yes, you can discriminate. Especially when you're looking for someone to take care of vulnerable children. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 She contacted me through an employment web site for special needs workers and sent an email describing her experience and the picture was attached. The other people who have contacted me through this web site never had a picture. When I click on the picture it does not go to Facebook or anywhere. When I look at the picture I just don't feel like calling her. It's not a "professional" job. I don't want someone to come over dressed in a suit. I would like someone fun but ... I just felt not good looking at her picture, maybe like something was being imposed on me. in that case, I do think it's unprofessional, and if you feel uncomfortable, then you shouldn't feel like you have to interview her. Were it me, I would interview her anyway. She my be a really fantastic person who didn't present herself well in this situation. Nobody is perfect. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It's not discrimination. It's discernment. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Is it a gmail profile picture? DH has one attached to his that he has no idea how it got on there. He rarely uses gmail and doesn't for professional purposes, but he's an attorney, not a young person. :) I wouldn't assume the worst about her. Social media is a weird beast for those of us raised in another generation. Are you anxious about hiring someone anyway? I often create reasons why something won't work when I'm displacing my anxiety. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Of course you can, but I wouldn't based on a picture that is probably attached to her email without her even realizing. Or maybe she does know and thought it made her look approachable. You'll never know ... she could be perfect except for the one thing. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) I'm not sure taking silly photos makes anyone unqualified to work with children. Was this photo intentionally added to a formal resume or was it on a platform that automatically attaches your latest profile picture to whatever you send? Why not interview her or call her references? Edited August 30, 2016 by KungFuPanda 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 For good or ill, first impressions count ESPECIALLY when you're looking for a job. If the pictures gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you have every right to say "no thanks." You are looking for someone to help care for your special needs children. You do not owe some stranger the benefit of the doubt. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) You can seek out whomever you want for whatever reasons you want, regardless of whether someone thinks those reasons legitimate or not. Edited August 30, 2016 by reefgazer 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I agree that photo is unprofessional and indicates general lack of professionalism and seriousness about the job. A job with kids needs to be taken seriously. When my kids were babies, I was looking for a nanny. I signed up for one of those nanny lists and all these people posted photos with their profiles. Some of the photos were ridiculous. Like half lying on the bed in what I consider suggestive clothes / position. Either these people are not actually interested in working with children, or they are idiots. No thanks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 These kind of thoughts went through my mind but ... She did not look that young. If she was 20 .... But she has more than 7 years experience and she looks 35 to me. DH thought she looked younger. if she had a picture of My Little Pony or was dressed as a clown it would not have given me a bad feeling. Is it a gmail profile picture? DH has one attached to his that he has no idea how it got on there. He rarely uses gmail and doesn't for professional purposes, but he's an attorney, not a young person. :) I wouldn't assume the worst about her. Social media is a weird beast for those of us raised in another generation. Are you anxious about hiring someone anyway? I often create reasons why something won't work when I'm displacing my anxiety. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 These kind of thoughts went through my mind but ... She did not look that young. If she was 20 .... But she has more than 7 years experience and she looks 35 to me. DH thought she looked younger. if she had a picture of My Little Pony or was dressed as a clown it would not have given me a bad feeling. Really? So what is it about this picture that you have such an issue with? It doesn't sound especially offensive. I mean, it's not like she was lying naked on a beach smoking a crack pipe or something. ;) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 "People with poor professional judgment" are not a protected class. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Is it a gmail profile picture? DH has one attached to his that he has no idea how it got on there. We're on msn and had a really random one attached to ours, a black horse and a white horse standing together. I didn't even know it showed up anywhere until a friend asked me if I was trying to say I supported interracial marriage. I would interview her but mention the picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kubiac Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Trust your instincts but also: The pic sounds happy and positive. You said need help. If she seems qualified, it might be worth your while just to do a quick interview with her. You don't have to give her the job! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Well, I disagree. If someone throws out an employment opportunity on their personal FB page, then it's a pretty relaxed interaction. My neighbor down the street asked for someone to weed his front flower beds. Should I have changed my profile picture (it's of a My Little Pony character) before responding that my kids would be interested? I don't know how the OP handled this, so I am not speaking specifically to her, but if you want a professional response, advertise on a professional platform. If you're relying on FB for casual networking, expect a casual response. I tend to agree with this. Iwould not want to see certain kinds of photos even on a FB page for someone I was hiring, but I would not think anything about just regular casual photos. If I am contacting someone on FB I expect to see regular personal photos. Pictures of drunken table-singing would be a different story. Although, if "pouty lips" means duck lips, I would probably be turned off by that unless it was obviously just meant to be silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 But she has more than 7 years experience and she looks 35 to me. DH thought she looked younger. if she had a picture of My Little Pony or was dressed as a clown it would not have given me a bad feeling. Clowns are icky. Just sayin'. If she has 7 years experience, she may very well be a good choice for you. Again, you are under no obligation to interview anyone you don't want to, but it sounds like you are willing to pass by a potentially good employee because of a difference in stylistic preference for photos. MLP and clowns are no more professional than the picture this person (may have unintentionally) used. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Clowns are icky. Just sayin'. If she has 7 years experience, she may very well be a good choice for you. Again, you are under no obligation to interview anyone you don't want to, but it sounds like you are willing to pass by a potentially good employee because of a difference in stylistic preference for photos. MLP and clowns are no more professional than the picture this person (may have unintentionally) used. Yeah, clowns would get a pass from me! :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Really? So what is it about this picture that you have such an issue with? It doesn't sound especially offensive. I mean, it's not like she was lying naked on a beach smoking a crack pipe or something. ;) I am not the OP, but if it were me it would be the pouty face. A pouty face is only cute on someone else's child and even then only when they are under 5. On an adult it is ridiculous. Then to make that your profile photo? Nope. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 No, but it means at best she is not conscientious, and at worst, lacks judgement. I think it is unprofessional, but I'm also not willing to completely dismiss someone over a photo like that. If I were hiring someone to care for my children, I would be most concerned with how well they worked with my children and whether they were a kind, loving, warm, compassionate, and reliable person and less concerned with whether they had a sober-looking photo (and by sober I mean staid, not non-inebriated). I'm not really a one-issue kind of voter, iykwim. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 "People with poor professional judgment" are not a protected class. Exactly. It sounds, from the OP's description, that the photo was not sent by accident. While it's possible the OP could be missing out on a great employee by rejecting the applicant out of hand because of the photo, I think it's much more likely the applicant is going to miss out on job opportunities because of it. A photo sent with a resume communicates something. I don't know what the applicant is trying to communicate about her suitability for the job, but that photo doesn't--in my opinion--suggest maturity, good judgment, or even "I'm great with kids." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) A photo attached to a job application email that contains another person in a private setting is unprofessional - even without pouty lips etc. In any company, a job application accompanied by an unprofessional photo would be tossed and the person would not be invited to interview. This is not discrimination. It is identifying that the candidate does not have suitable judgment or does not take the opportunity seriously. It is up to you whether you want to overlook this and give her a chance to interview. Seriously, what kind of person thinks a photo of her being kissed by a boyfriend is appropriate to attach to a job application ??? Edited August 30, 2016 by regentrude 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It's not discrimination. It's discernment. Yes, this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 She contacted me through an employment web site for special needs workers and sent an email describing her experience and the picture was attached. The other people who have contacted me through this web site never had a picture. When I click on the picture it does not go to Facebook or anywhere. When I look at the picture I just don't feel like calling her. It's not a "professional" job. I don't want someone to come over dressed in a suit. I would like someone fun but ... I just felt not good looking at her picture, maybe like something was being imposed on me. Maybe she's trying to show you that she's personable and easy going / laid back. Which is not the worst thing for a respite worker. Better than someone who's extremely uptight / micromanaging (well, at least in my books.) What if you really like her in person? I'd still interview. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Trust your gut, trust your gut, trust your gut. Something in the photo makes you uncomfortable. Even if you cannot identify exactly to yourself what is that element, trust your gut. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 For me, if it was therapy stuff, when I'd be in the house I might consider giving her a chance. But, not for respite care. That requires a high level of trust. I'd probably need to have the house heavily nanny-cam'ed and then I couldn't enjoy the respite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 In any case, you can always meet her and choose not to hire her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I'm another who wouldn't be turned off by that being her avatar for her email. Honestly, a cute significant other and me photo isn't that big a deal. They weren't making out, they were just being silly and lovely. Sending it to you as a photo attachment is a little odd. But I really don't think that's what happened. It sounds like this is just the avatar, which can pop up on the side, depending on your email. Of course, you can still choose not to hire her or contact. Obviously up to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Her experience did not impress me. I was only mentioning it to explain that she was not very young and still posting the picture. The people on this site are prescreened and all have experience. Some of them have been weirdos (not in the vampire teeth sense) but the interview experience was unpleasant. Others have been great. Fun is a good quality but my boys tend to do best with people who are quiet and conscientious. Good judgement is extremely important when working with my kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Sounds like it's her gmail avatar. You need to decide how much it bothers you. The woman who provides occasional care/supervision for my 15 year old with intellectual disabilities is 24. She has multiple tattoos. She has gauges in her ears. She has not specialized training or post secondary ed. She is really good with my ds. They do things at my house and she takes him around town so he gets out. If I had not known her and just had to pick someone out of pile of resumes and pictures and I saw her picture I probably would not have chosen her. I would reject anyone who had an avatar that advocated drug use. I'm not sure I'd reject someone for just a stupid pose with their boyfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I have to ask this... does she have fangs and red eyes? What about elf ears? :) What kind of crockpot does she use? How does she feel about cupcakes?!! We need more INFO! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If she is dumb enough to not think through the consequences of a photo like that attached to her message, she might be trying to sell her sexy pout to your DH, OR she might be dumb enough to invite boyfriend over while she's with your children. This is not the sort of person you want in your life. Don't invite trouble, especially not when you're trying to alleviate it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I did have a few people I liked with tattoos. I realize it is a generational thing. She did not have visible tattoos and was conservative and average-looking otherwise. It was more of an obnoxious look in her eyes maybe. The interview process is a bit hard on my kids when the person doesn't end up working with us. That is why I am not giving her a chance. it might be different if this was for a job in an office or something. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I'm also concerned about her views on crockpots, cupcakes and shopping carts. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Well, I might give her an interview because who knows maybe she is great. But yeah i understand being turned off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I have to ask this... does she have fangs and red eyes? What about elf ears? :) Hey! People with fangs, red eyes and elf ears might be a little confused about their species, but they can be excellent employees! (Just ask their mothers) What is the context in which you saw this picture? I'm a special ed teacher, and I can't really imagine sending a photo of any kind with a request for a job. I'd send a resume and a cover letter, both of which don't include pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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