I just feel like crap

[Chris in VA]

I don't know how it happened but I seem to be depressed again. I had a rough spring at work, then some drama over the summer, but minimal.I am currently on my second anti-d, but I don't seem to be getting better.

The biggest sign? I don't want to do any preschool stuff and don't want to go back to work teaching next week. I have never ever felt this unenthused.

I am the kind ofvteachr thst is always learning and researching, thrilled to shsre materials, collecting neat things over the summer, etc. It is almost scary how opposite of that I feel right now. I am anxious, too.

 

I am exercising more and eating better, but I am sad at how my body needs so much work due to my negligence and lack of control. I feel old and ugly, and I just want to cry.

 

I am not even sure what I am asking for.

[bettyandbob]

((hug))

[Lanny]

Possibly you are asking for another medication? The 3rd time might be the charm.  Exercise is wonderful, but there are no magic pills and it may be a good idea for you to call for an appointment with an M.D. you have rapport with. GL

[Carol in Cal.]

You are not old.

You are not ugly.

You are great!

 

You probably need another week or so, or maybe a meds change.  Please call your doctor and ask about this.

 

In the meantime, set your timer for 10 minutes and work on preschool plans for that long.  Then a 10 minute break.  Then 10 more minutes of work.  Before you know it, you'll be all done, and it's easier to face 10 minutes of something that an undifferentiated stretch of it.  This advice brought to you by someone who heeded FlyLady, to her great benefit.

[TammyB]

Depression is such an awful thing. I have struggled with it most of my life. I have read some lately about how leaky gut can cause depression and a host of other things. Tons more serotonin is made in the gut than in the brain. If this resonates with you at all, check out scdlifestyle.com. There is a lot of good information there including the fact that you don't have to actually be experiencing digestive symptoms in order to have leaky gut. It can exhibit in other ways like depression, fatigue, and skin issues.

 

Best wishes to you! I am so sorry you are suffering!

[Carol in Cal.]

PS  How is your iron level?  What about thyroid?  Those can mess with your head for sure.

[Chris in VA]

Thanks, all. Had blood work last month and thyroid and sugar and iron are fine. I have very high calcium and low D --the low D is my body trying not to absorb any more calcium.I am going to the endocrinologist in late September.

[goldberry]

I went through several medications before finding the right one.  It is hard, but worth it.  Don't give up!

 

Also think of adding a high dose fish oil like this one...  fish oil is good for so many things, mood is only one of them.

https://www.amazon.com/Country-Life-Omega-2000mg-180-Softgels/dp/B001LCQYMY/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1472417577&sr=8-1&keywords=omega+mood

 

:grouphug:

[mommyoffive]

Sending some hugs

[BlessedMom]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[Scarlett]

((((((Chris)))))))

[Rachel]

I'm sorry Chris! Hang in there.

[regentrude]

Sending hugs and good thoughts.

[Rosie_0801]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[momacacia]

I empathize, sympathize and all those things. I'm not ready or excited as usual this year, either. But I'm very tired and I know that. Sleep and supplements have helped me a lot in the past. Dh consistently reminds me of this. It's up to me to take care of myself.

 

You've been at the homeschooling/parenting/teaching gig a long time...what has worked for you in the past? Any simple change that has made a big difference? I'm not commenting at all on meds, but I do know some people have gotten some benefit by implementing the lifestyle changes in Dr. Kelly Brogan's book, "A Mind of Your Own." Caveat, that is not in favor of meds, but if you can ignore that and read some of the other suggestions along with working with your doctor, maybe that will be some help. She is decidedly pro-patient and pro-woman; and that's what I really like about her.

 

((hugs))

[happi duck]

(hugs)

[Mothersweets]

I don't know how it happened but I seem to be depressed again. I had a rough spring at work, then some drama over the summer, but minimal.I am currently on my second anti-d, but I don't seem to be getting better.

The biggest sign? I don't want to do any preschool stuff and don't want to go back to work teaching next week. I have never ever felt this unenthused.

I am the kind ofvteachr thst is always learning and researching, thrilled to shsre materials, collecting neat things over the summer, etc. It is almost scary how opposite of that I feel right now. I am anxious, too.

 

I am exercising more and eating better, but I am sad at how my body needs so much work due to my negligence and lack of control. I feel old and ugly, and I just want to cry.

 

I am not even sure what I am asking for.

 

I'm feeling the same way. It doesn't help that I am surrounded by people who are all at least 20 years younger than me.

 

The school stuff, I felt completely unenthused last year but it is better this year and I'm okay with that. I wish there was a magic pill. (((hugs)))

[trulycrabby]

I tried about five, before I found one that helped, so please keep trying. I am sorry you are struggling. :grouphug:

[Soror]

(hugs) many hugs to you!

 

 

[Pawz4me]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Alicia64]

First of all, do I recall correctly that you decorated your living room with two gorgeous mirrors and other fancy things?

 

But seriously, can I be nosy? Are you going through -- or in the middle of -- menopause?

 

I'd had depression off and on -- and love Welbutrin.

 

I can't speak for everyone, but I often feel old and ugly. :grouphug:

 

Alley

[Starr]

Well here's a funny. When I looked at the list of posts there was DawnMs saying , "When you are just feeling run down" and then yours below it saying, "I feel like crap."  I think you must have gone from run down to crap without realizing it was happening.  :grouphug:  I find I don't recover as easily from stressful things as I did when I was younger. Life just keeps sneaking up on us. I hardly know anyone my age that doesn't have something difficult going on in their life or someone in their family's life.

 

We think you're fabulous!  

[ktgrok]

Google tells me that high calcium can cause fatigue, foggy feeling in the brain, lethargy, and confusion. Add in that low vitamin D can cause all that plus depression, and honestly it sounds like getting all that straightened out is you best bet to feeling better. I'm thinking the antidepressants aren't working because there is an underlying issue. I know you said you are seeing your endoconologist soon, and I assume he's talking to you about parathyroid, for the calcium issue? If so, try to hold tight while you get that under control, and see if that makes all the difference. Hugs. 

[Chris in VA]

Thanks, Katie. My parathyroid tests came out ok, which means something else is going on. There are some scary possibilities. I just feel so flat, and a little weepy.

I just got my class list in an email. It is so weird to not care at all about going in to school.I have never wanted to do anything less than I want to start work this week. I need the money, and I am under contract, so I have to (and I wouldn't leave them in the lurch, honestly). Uugghhh.

Edited August 29, 2016 by Chris in VA

[Janeway]

Maybe I already posted but

 

I have MTHFR and Deplin has been a miracle for me. 

[Outdoorsy Type]

Just ((((hugs)))) and know that your brain is lying to you. You are not old or ugly. You are a beautiful person with a passion for life, who just happens to be ill right now. If you can't get the thoughts under control, don't feel bad trying a psychiatrist for figuring out your meds.

[ktgrok]

Thanks, Katie. My parathyroid tests came out ok, which means something else is going on. There are some scary possibilities. I just feel so flat, and a little weepy.

I just got my class list in an email. It is so weird to not care at all about going in to school.I have never wanted to do anything less than I want to start work this week. I need the money, and I am under contract, so I have to (and I wouldn't leave them in the lurch, honestly). Uugghhh.

 

Ugh. Worry about the scary possibilities would be enough to put me in a huge funk. Like, sit in bed and watch reruns of star trek all day funk. I hope you get some (good) answers soon. Either way, that calcium level could be making you feel crappy on it's own. 

 

I hope that once you get IN the classroom, with the kids, you feel better and get some energy from them. 

[Ellie]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Ellie]

Thanks, all. Had blood work last month and thyroid and sugar and iron are fine. I have very high calcium and low D --the low D is my body trying not to absorb any more calcium.I am going to the endocrinologist in late September.

 

You know I'm going to ask you this...Did you have Free T3, Free T4, and Reverse T3 as well as TSH? If only TSH, what does your doctor define as "fine"?

[creekland]

:grouphug:  FWIW, I just came across your thread while wondering if I want to go back this year or not too.  You're not alone. No practical advice though.  My brain is trying to figure out how we can ditch everything here and just drive off into the sunset and continue meandering forever.  (No success figuring that out yet either.)  So all I can offer is  :grouphug: .

[mominco]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[mamiof5]

Sorry you are feeling so blah. Have they checked for magnesium? I have read a bit on magnesium deficiency... I wonder if taking some magnesium could help? Also vitamin B12. I have heard many times the B complex is a "feel good" type of thing. What about trying to do something relaxing/enjoyable? Just throwing random ideas. Will pray for you!

[elegantlion]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[ScoutTN]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I hope you find something that helps soon! 

[Starr]

Your inner Chekov will save you, "I can do thisss" 

 

Pray you are feeling better soon.

[wendy not in HI]

I really love a new job or a new hobby or a new home to research or, really, anything new.  I can stick with the oldies, but it is the new stuff that really gets me excited!  

 

I have the blah's about a volunteer gig that I have been doing for about a year.  A year ago, i was over the moon excited about it. I spent hours and days working on it, and making lists of things to work on and research, and reading articles, and on and on. Now I'm just blah, and considering stepping back after Halloween.  I think I want to go to school (see? something new and different to research!  Iove that!...)

 

Anyway, I hope it is just the blah's and that when you meet all those little sweeties in your preschool, you will remember why you love the job and bring some fresh energy and excitement into their lives.

 

Can you go shopping and buy one outfit that makes you feel great? Even if it's not the size you wish??

 

[Guest]

((©))

[creekland]

I really love a new job or a new hobby or a new home to research or, really, anything new.  I can stick with the oldies, but it is the new stuff that really gets me excited!  

 

I think this is me too.  It probably won't help the OP, but I actually just quit my job working at school (after 16 years)... time will tell where it leads me.  As of last Friday I thought I'd be heading back (same old, same old and I still enjoy the people there), but the more I thought about it over the weekend... no... I'm going to set sail elsewhere - just not sure where yet.