lollie010 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm kind of heartbroken for my kiddos. I realize struggles are part of growing up but dang-this feels pretty rough. Dd11 has dreamed of nothing but ballet since she was 3. She was invited to begin pointe classes in September! However, after a summer of physical therapy for her knees and hips she still cannot comfortably walk from the couch to kitchen. She is registered for 6 dance classes a week, beginning the day after Labor Day. And the doctors want to revisit the idea of a diagnosis of lupus and/or connective tissue disease. She is understandably depressed. As a homeschooler the bulk of her social life revolves around dance. I also, have to tell her that I got a message from her best friend's mother that they are changing churches. This is going to be devastating to her, because they will not have much of a chance to see each other again. And DS 12 has sacrificed scouting and youth group to be on a club soccer team that has conflicting practice times with the other activities. He has been playing absolutely phenomenally in practice. My husband (a former coach) has always been brutally honest about DS 's skills--(never sugar coats anything) and he has been thrilled with DS's development. In practices he has played the best he ever has and is consistently one of the better players in practice. But, in the first tournament that began today he played only the last 4 minutes of the games. That is it. The rest of the time he sat on the bench. The four minutes he played he did great! But, he was crushed. He showed up ready to play and contribute and flat out was not given a chance. They brutally lost both games. It was ugly. He is one of those sensitive, kind spirits that internalizes things. I fully expect it to take months to rebuild his confidence. I can't fix any of this for them :( Typing on my phone through a few tears so excuse typos, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 (edited) Oh wow, that is rough. It's so hard when our children hurt. Praying it is not a serious condition for your dd. So heartbreaking for your son. I understand about sensitive kind hearted boys, and so sad for your guy. Why do coaches not see that? Ugh. So discouraging. Edited August 29, 2016 by Peacefulisle 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Oh, I've BTDT. I'm just so, so sorry, Mama. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I am sorry, that all sounds very, very difficult and it's not going to get easier any time soon. I hope some 'windows' open for you all soon, you need it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammfried Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm so sorry for all the pain that your children are going through right now. And for the heartbreak that you, as their mother, endure when you have to witness their grief. When DD was born, someone mentioned to me that the strongest emotional bond was that of the mother-child one and that our heartaches would only increase further as they grew. I realize now how true this is. Many hugs. Be gentle to yourselves this week and prayers for your daughter's good health and son's well-being. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 So sorry, esp for your dd. How rough! I hope your ds has more opportunities as the season progresses! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: to you. That's rough! Childhood disappointments can be so painful. Sometimes they feel even more heart wrenching when that child grows up. It took me some time to realize that these painful disappointments are a normal part of life. Someone once told me that a mother's happiness is dependent on her least happy child's heart. Makes sense to me. On a more positive note, if this is your son's first time playing on this team, perhaps the coach is just starting with the older players but will eventually bring your son in more and more. And hopefully things will work out for your daughter in dance, or she will find a wonderful new passion to take its place! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 (edited) Thanks so much, everyone, for your kind thoughts and words. I hated to share all that in real life, because the kiddos deserve their privacy, but I need a little support. It's a new day and we are going to push through. One more early morning soccer game and then taking some family time. :) Edited August 28, 2016 by lollie010 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I am sorry. It is hard being a mom and watching our kids upset and hurt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: I hear you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: It's so hard to see our kids hurt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm so sorry. Can you get your daughter into some art classes for now "just for now" as far as you tell her? Art can be wonderful therapy as she works through her frustration with her illness, and in my experience the kids that are gifted in dance often do well in other creative art forms as well. Might help her heal, and give her an outlet for her creativity, and also perhaps ignite a new passion that is more in line with her physical abilities. Just a thought. Voice lessons is another thought to add in there, if she can sing at all. But no matter what, how hard. For your son, just keep telling him it isn't personal, and that coaches have a million things they are trying to balance. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Could your daughter change churches to be with her friend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm so sorry. Can you get your daughter into some art classes for now "just for now" as far as you tell her? Art can be wonderful therapy as she works through her frustration with her illness, and in my experience the kids that are gifted in dance often do well in other creative art forms as well. Might help her heal, and give her an outlet for her creativity, and also perhaps ignite a new passion that is more in line with her physical abilities. Just a thought. Voice lessons is another thought to add in there, if she can sing at all. But no matter what, how hard. For your son, just keep telling him it isn't personal, and that coaches have a million things they are trying to balance. Great suggestion! I thInk she would love that. She will certainly have to find something positive to put her efforts into. 😃 she has a very supportive dance studio so I know they will try to accommodate the best they can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 Could your daughter change churches to be with her friend? We have been considering it. It would be a big deal, since my husband and I both have major leadership positions in our church. Our other kiddos are all settled into the church, but we are open to it. 😢 lots of changes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 We have been considering it. It would be a big deal, since my husband and I both have major leadership positions in our church. Our other kiddos are all settled into the church, but we are open to it. 😢 lots of changes. Perhaps she could just attend whatever youth program the other church has, if there is one, but go to your church on sunday mornings? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Sending some hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm sorry. It's hard when your kids are hurting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Im so sorry. Some of mine have had crushing disappointments recently. It hurts so so much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I would share my chocolate with you if I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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