Janeway Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 (edited) We were at the new studio all week and did not go to class at the first studio. I called and left a message on their voice mail that son 12 would not be back. I did not give a reason. Then, this afternoon, the owner/teacher calls and leaves a very nice message stating that he is worried about son and hopes he is well and is wondering if he has been injured or is perhaps ill. I feel so bad. But fact is, even if things were great at that studio, the move to this other studio is good because it is so close! I wish I had known about it years ago. edited to add...I guess this is not a question. Sorry. Edited August 28, 2016 by Janeway 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Hugs. I also find it very hard to leave one place of a kid's activity and move on, even if the previous place has issues. We've done it three times now, and even though each new place is better in many ways, I still find it difficult. What I'm learning to accept is that we don't owe anything to the person running the previous place. We don't need to explain anything. But it is nicer if we can give a reason that doesn't hurt their feelings, because it is better not to burn bridges. It is a small world. It is better to focus on all the good things that happened there, insread of venting. Before you talk to the studio owner, try to remember what you liked about the studio, and then tell him how much you appreciated him and his work, but the new place is closer and you can't handle the commute at this point. You never know how things will be in five years. Many would disagree, but leaving in this way makes me feel "true to myself." I don't like conflict, and even though I know I don't owe them anything, I prefer to treat them in the way that I'd like to be treated. We didn't leave place #2 this way, and I regret it. We just left place #3 this way, and I feel so much better and my relationship with the owner is getting better too, after some months of tension and conflict. I also learned that each place was *perfect* at that time, I have no regrets. It is a journey. I'm also a bit more cynical, and I don't believe anymore that the place #4 will be our forever place. I just hope that it will be perfect for us for the next 18 to 24 months. Good luck! I'm glad you found a better studio and your son is happy there. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 Hugs. I also find it very hard to leave one place of a kid's activity and move on, even if the previous place has issues. We've done it three times now, and even though each new place is better in many ways, I still find it difficult. What I'm learning to accept is that we don't owe anything to the person running the previous place. We don't need to explain anything. But it is nicer if we can give a reason that doesn't hurt their feelings, because it is better not to burn bridges. It is a small world. It is better to focus on all the good things that happened there, insread of venting. Before you talk to the studio owner, try to remember what you liked about the studio, and then tell him how much you appreciated him and his work, but the new place is closer and you can't handle the commute at this point. You never know how things will be in five years. Many would disagree, but leaving in this way makes me feel "true to myself." I don't like conflict, and even though I know I don't owe them anything, I prefer to treat them in the way that I'd like to be treated. We didn't leave place #2 this way, and I regret it. We just left place #3 this way, and I feel so much better and my relationship with the owner is getting better too, after some months of tension and conflict. I also learned that each place was *perfect* at that time, I have no regrets. It is a journey. I'm also a bit more cynical, and I don't believe anymore that the place #4 will be our forever place. I just hope that it will be perfect for us for the next 18 to 24 months. Good luck! I'm glad you found a better studio and your son is happy there. Do you think I should just call back and tell them that the drive was just too much for us now? Obviously, there are a lot more reasons, but even if things there were perfect, we still need to switch because of the distance. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Do you think I should just call back and tell them that the drive was just too much for us now? Obviously, there are a lot more reasons, but even if things there were perfect, we still need to switch because of the distance. Yes, I'd do that. I was quite tempted to vent a bit and tell the owner of how wrong she was and how she hurt DD's feelings, but I didn't, and I'm very, very glad. She's becoming more open to us and supportive of DD. I still think she majorly messed up and might have mental health issues, but it is a relief not to have the tension anymore. We managed to leave without pointing fingers. As my wise friend said, "There's no point of telling a person who wrong they are when you are firing them." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Do you think I should just call back and tell them that the drive was just too much for us now? Obviously, there are a lot more reasons, but even if things there were perfect, we still need to switch because of the distance. Yes, this seems the most polite, prudent course of action given the situation. And it isn't a lie. You really are happier with the shorter commute, yes? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 If you want to. Just say that he is taking classes at a studio closer to home. It's true, even if it isn't your only reason. Thank them for their concern. Any other reason they could argue and attempt to "fix"... They can promise to be nicer or whatever, but there is nothing they can do to change the distance. If you'd prefer to not talk in person or on the phone, perhaps you're easily swayed or angered (haha I can be both 🙄) just send a brief note in the mail. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I would not bother calling back. It's up to you, but he's calling because it is a business and he wants to keep customers. That's all. A close commute is not a strong excuse. You don't want to call and get wrapped into a conversation that will result in negatives said or at least have you say things in a way that you did not intend. Before calling ask yourself how well you deal with being "on the spot." If you feel you stay on point and don't stammer, get off track and get defensive maybe it works for you. Otherwise, I'd let it go. You do not owe an explanation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I am changing ds9's school at the end of the term. I'm hoping no-one asks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 It will be ok. My friend just switched churches. It is closer and there were issues at the last church. If those issues had been addressed, she may not have been looking. AFTER she left, she gets a call asking why they left (all issues already told to them) and asking if she is ok, etc....... NOW they care. It is sad, but that seems to be the way things work. Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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