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Do you have something that you can take away?  In our house, that would be screens, and behavior like you describe would result in no screens for a month, with the month starting when the behavior had improved consistently.  (And, yes, I did do this on one occasion, with a 2nd grader as I recall.  I never had to do it again.)

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Take a deep breath and walk away for a bit.  Detox.  Then try to find out WHY she is fighting you so much on this.  There very well may be reasons for her extreme resistance that are not readily apparent to you and she has no experience to give her the words to articulate the issue.  When you are both calmer, and not likely to get upset all over again, you might try to just calmly, patiently and without any judgement or pushing, ask her what she thinks is happening.  It may take more than one conversation.  Don't get upset.  Let her think about it and try to share with you why this is such an issue for her.

 

 

 

 

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Just to add, I have found rather frequently when I was getting upset/angry/frustrated with my kids over not doing something that seemed simple to me that either my expectations were too high for their capabilities or there were valid underlying circumstances making them resist or my own reactions were exacerbating the situation.  When I calmed down, walked away, then gave us all a chance to analyze what was happening and how to solve the issue or better tackle the work (and I actually took the time to listen to my kids) we were frequently much happier and a lot more productive than if I just kept pushing.

 

Again, hugs.  I would share a mug of coffee or tea with you if I could.  Deep breaths.  This, too, shall pass.

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Figure out how to make it her idea to do the work.

 

Rather than taking things away, make it clear that she must earn other activities with completing her schoolwork. In the short term this looks like taking away, but it sets up a routine where that is the expectation--rather than "Mommy took away TV time because I didn't do my schoolwork when she wanted," it's "I know I can watch TV when I finish my schoolwork."

 

What worked for us was introducing a routine with a checklist, and including schoolwork on there with other things, such as hygiene tasks and chores.

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