macmacmoo Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 We have a 8, 5, and still nursing 2 year old. All boys. After much stress and tears, DH is offering I leave the house for two days while he watches the boys. This sounds really nice of him but I haven't the foggiest of what to do. It's been so long since I've done anything by myself I've think i have forgotten how to enjoy a much deserved break. (granted we live on an island and spending more than two hours out in the sun gives me a migraine. Options here are few and far between) We've tired him taking the boys away for a few hours so i could have some quiet at home, but that generally resulted in me cleaning. Which was probably what started the unhappiness that led to the break. But cleaning in an empty house with no one to un do sounds so productive. A trip to Target alone leaves me feeling very lonely. An entire weekend alone sounds lovely and depressing all at the same time. Anyways what would you do with your weekend alone? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Go to a hotel (local or far away) & order room service, read, sleep, swim in the pool, maybe go to a movie. Enjoy your downtime! 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Well, this isn't exactly like you describe, but once when the kids were little, and we only had three, I went with DH on a business trip to Vegas while my parents watched the kids. Dh had to work most of the time, so I was on my own a lot. I hate Vegas and the Strip didn't appeal to me, so I basically sat in the hotel room for two days on a comfy chair and a carton of ice-cream and watched every crime drama I could find in TV. It was heaven, I tell you! Heaven! So, I think if I were in your situation, I would do something like that again. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) I agree with Stacia though I would add in some hiking if that is something you like and is doable in your area. (I know you said you live on an island so maybe that's not feasible.) Do you have a friend you would like to take with you? Do you have someone you could go visit? I too have preferred to have my husband take the kids out so I could be at home, but that does always result in me doing chores. And while it may be productive, it is usually not refreshing. Edited August 24, 2016 by marbel 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasc Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I would definitely get a massage. If staying at a hotel overnight, I'd go to a bookstore and pick out whatever book I am in the mood to look at/read. I would go to a nice, sit-down restaurant of my choice and eat a lovely meal prepared by someone else. After eating, I'd take the aforementioned book and my full belly back to the hotel, get in my pjs, and simply relax. Sounds divine. :) Definitely take your DH up on this offer! Enjoy! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 We have a 8, 5, and still nursing 2 year old. All boys. After much stress and tears, DH is offering I leave the house for two days while he watches the boys. This sounds really nice of him but I haven't the foggiest of what to do. It's been so long since I've done anything by myself I've think i have forgotten how to enjoy a much deserved break. (granted we live on an island and spending more than two hours out in the sun gives me a migraine. Options here are few and far between) We've tired him taking the boys away for a few hours so i could have some quiet at home, but that generally resulted in me cleaning. Which was probably what started the unhappiness that led to the break. But cleaning in an empty house with no one to un do sounds so productive. A trip to Target alone leaves me feeling very lonely. An entire weekend alone sounds lovely and depressing all at the same time. Anyways what would you do with your weekend alone? Hotel. Hot tub. Sleep. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't enjoy that. If you don't think you would enjoy it perhaps you can come up with something you would like. Sometimes at different periods when the boys were young we would arrange a weekly activity that Dh would do with the boys. For example every Wednesday evening he would take them to the park and library story time. I found that much nicer than a weekend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 DH often takes our kids out for a couple of hours to the beach. I do either housework or flower gardening. I find it very relaxing and recharges my batteries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 When mine were little, my dh would give me a "day off" - I would spend most of it at the library and/or bookstore. I would read without any interruptions! I would go for walks. I would take myself out for a nice lunch - sometimes meeting a friend, and/or I would sit in a coffeeshop reading for hours. The key is to figure out what will be restful and restorative for YOU. Kudos to your dh for being willing to help you do it! Anne 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjeepa Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) I guess it does depend on whether or not that is something you would enjoy. If so, find some bed and breakfast somewhere pretty, take a stack of books and then alternate reading and sleeping :001_smile: It does sound like you need a break so I would encourage you to find a way to work something out. :grouphug: Edited August 24, 2016 by jjeepa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Find a nature spa where they do yoga and health foods and massages and lovely music and have gorgeous weather and views. Bring some books to read when not taking in the scenery. Take long baths and sleep a lot. Meanwhile, I'd have a maid service come in and clean my house so I wouldn't have that to look forward to upon my return. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I know you said you are on an island, but I am sure they have an airport somewhere! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnniePoo Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Get a hotel room (pay a little extra so that it's not a total dump and you'll great chance at quiet). Don't hesitate to ask the desk staff to put you in the quietest part of the hotel, away from the elevators and any groups of teens. Get takeout and eat it on the bed while watching stupid reality shows. Soak in the tub. Take a super-hot shower. Bring a book and read. Go to a movie theater and watch something. Order clothes online. Whatever. Just savor the silence. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 If I could afford it, I'd stay at a nice hotel that had a spa. The treatments are expensive, but often they have a package that allows you use of the facilities (plunge pools, sauna, etc.) without having to pay for a treatment. I have always wanted to do that -- especially at a particular swanky hotel in the NC mountains! Being on my own for two days sounds positively heavenly. Any longer and I would be lonely, but that sounds perfect. Of course, I'd like it even better if dh could manage to tag along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 You came to the right place for suggestions! :) A secluded space with a good book, excellent chocolate (or your favorite food), take walks in evening after sundown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I think figuring out what it is that would make you feel refreshed is best. I would love to have a weekend away with a friend just hanging out, good food, movies, books, adult conversation. I find that even though I love my alone time I still miss having adult interaction even as an introvert. I really just want someone I have a close relationship with to talk to about life. Sadly I don't have a lot of that in my life right now. When my kids were younger like yours I found small times away, a few hours was enough for me. I am a homebody sort of person and love being at home. What would be nice though would be to go out for a few hours while someone came and totally cleaned my house, so that when I am home I can just relax and not worry about having things piling up that need to be done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Personally I would see a movie, sleep, eat at my favorite restaurant, and only take a day off. I would also devote some time to refocusing the schedule. Can DH get home earlier? Can you plan date nights more regularly together? Can you join a ymca and use them daily for babysitting while you "work out"? Can DH take the kids regularly to activities or grocery shopping? I think it's important you look at changing your schedule to help yourself more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I would go for a hotel room in a lovely setting. I would eats out, walk, hike of that were available, maybe enjoy a local site, read books, and sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I went to visit my sister once and had a wonderful time (she's single, no kids, lives in a lovely home in a fun city). Sleep in, eat out, shop. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) I think figuring out what it is that would make you feel refreshed is best. <snip> Yes. Do *you* want to go away for a weekend? Or is there something else that would be more refreshing for you? Take some time to think about what would be really attractive to you. It's great that your husband wants to give you some time away, but if the weekend in a hotel is his idea, and you don't like it, you can say no, and then tell him what you'd really like. :-) My husband once gave me the gift of a massage. It was a horrible gift for me. I hated every minute of it and couldn't wait for it to be over. Part of the problem was the timing of it, but still. It was nice of him but I should have sent him and done something I preferred. :-) Edited August 24, 2016 by marbel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I could see myself going to a hotel and spending the time napping, eating out wherever I wanted, knitting, and reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Meet up with friends somewhere? Ideally, a weekend alone with DH would be best, but a weekend with a couple of close girl friends would be great too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Well, this isn't exactly like you describe, but once when the kids were little, and we only had three, I went with DH on a business trip to Vegas while my parents watched the kids. Dh had to work most of the time, so I was on my own a lot. I hate Vegas and the Strip didn't appeal to me, so I basically sat in the hotel room for two days on a comfy chair and a carton of ice-cream and watched every crime drama I could find in TV. It was heaven, I tell you! Heaven! So, I think if I were in your situation, I would do something like that again. When my dh has conferences I do this.We do a few business mingling things in the evenings. Every woman I talk to asks what I do with my time while we're there. I say things like "Take showers with noone banging on the door." "Sleep a lot" and "cut my own meat without having to help anyone else with theirs." These women all smile broadly and say "Oh that sounds heavenly! You're having a great time aren't you?" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Call all the friends and family you've been meaning to call but never quite have the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Dh periodically takes the kids away to visit his parents. I do usually end up cleaning during the days but in the evenings I read, watch movies, eat whatever foods I want and relax. When I go away (and I will be doing this in October), I go up to Niantic Connecticut. It's about a 4 hour drive. There's a HUGE used book store and some outlets. I'll shop for books, read or rent a movie, eat, shop some more, relax. Sometimes my mother or my oldest go with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 A nice hotel with a spa for a massage and facial, yoga on the beach, eating out or ordering room service, and a good book. Maybe some shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 How would taking a friend with you sound? A nice , low maintenance friend. A few weeks ago I went to a foster/adopt conference about 90 minutes away. I went to a few sessions, ate food someone else prepared, served, and cleaned up, and visited. Then that evening a close friend of mine came and we took a nice long walk and then she did her yoga while I went to the hot tub and relaxed. We chatted some but also just read and did our own thing. We were together but didn't have the need to spend every waking moment together. So nice. If you had a friend that could afford it and enjoy it, a nicer quiet hotel with adjoining rooms would.be nice... You can be together when you want but each have your own space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) Mine tend to end up looking like this: http://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/day-planner/ :D More seriously, I go to a restaurant alone with a great book, then come home and watch way too many movies on Netflix. I don't clean or fret much, since I can do that when the troops are around! I loaf and waste time and relax and it's beautiful. Edited August 24, 2016 by Arctic Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 If it sounds lonely, go to a place where a good friend or sister lives, spend some time alone but have a lovely long lunch with someone else. I'd spend time in a book store, read, maybe get a pedicure, watch movies, and sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 The title of the thread made me think the question was like what I would do for a Klondike bar. As for how I'd spend my time, I'd sleep in, get a massage, go to a nice restaurant and read a book while I ate, watch bad TV, internet on my phone and read a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 I agree about maybe trying to get an evening here or there if you think you will be lonely for a weekend. I would love to have a weekend away. I would sleep, read, watch Netflix, take a hot bath, and play on my phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 the last time I went off by myself, (well, 1dd came with. but she was an adult). I went to a B&B where I could just lounge. bubble baths, overlook the water (I prefer the ocean waves white noise). go out to eat, eat in something I wouldn't get at home. read a book. sleep . . . maybe somewhere with a nice garden and pretty flowers that smelled nice. watch a fire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Clean the house and eat cereal for all my meals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Oh, and Dove ice cream bars. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 If I had a full weekend I might compromise on the housework and do some but not make any promises. Like, I may decide that one day I'm not doing any chores or I'll run a load of laundry. After lounging around I might feel up to doing things I can't usually do with the toddler running around like organize clothes or make Goodwill piles. And then if I didn't get around to any of it, I would have to be okay with it so long as I let myself do things I wanted/needed. Catch up on sleep, tv shows I don't normally get to watch, reading/audio books, etc. Maybe go to the theater or mall/shopping center. I'm not much of a hotel person, but the concept sounds nice in theory. I personally couldn't bring myself to use room service LOL. But I would make sure there were places to eat nearby and bring food to my room (snacks, anyway). If the hotel had a bar I might even get a drink. I don't think I'd want to go swimming alone but if a girlfriend came along that might be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 DO IT! From a mom of 4, youngest are 3yo and still nursing 11mo. Really, even if you get it "wrong" it would very likely be good for you. The stress and tears are a signal...listen to them. Massage is great, but sitting and looking at something lovely (meadow, gardens, pool) is good too. Just stare. No phone, no voices you have to listen to. No one's needs you have to meet. Just you with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Sleep, read, scrapbook, sleep, a massage, hike, sleep. So much to do :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 I'm amused that so many of us said we'd sleep. I'm not sure what that says about the states of our lives, that we are so busy, and our sleep is suffering. That's unfortunate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 I do this every year for my birthday. We live near a large city so I pick a couple of museums to go to and do that. I usually go for a long walk. I go out to lunch. Then I check into a hotel. I read a lot, watch movies that my dh wouldn't like, talk long hot baths, eat chocolate. It's fantastic and very re-charging for me. But I'm an introvert and love time alone. Need time alone actually. It doesn't sound like that might be the case for you and maybe this will leave you feeling lonely. Can you do something else? Hire a sitter and go out with dh? Take a friend with you and do something? Do something unusual and fun as a family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 I go away 4 days every May with my girlfriends to the beach. I live for it. I am an extrovert, so for me, being alone wouldn't be fun. This year I did a lot of going with my friends. I went to KY with a friend to a wedding of another friend. I went to FL with a girlfriend, and I went to the beach with my group of friends. We don't do a whole lot when we are there, other than laugh, go out to eat, see a sight or two, and spend time together, but I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 We would spend weekends with our families a few times per year, since they both lived almost three hours away. Once a year dh would take the kids to his parents' house for the weekend and I would stay home. Usually I cleaned or organized. Sometimes I did a sewing project. I got SO much done without anyone else around to take care of, cook for, etc. Sometimes I'd listen to an audio book while working. I enjoyed the quiet and I also enjoyed seeing them when they came home after two or three days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 (edited) I'd probably go to the beach. That way I could sleep in, read on the balcony overlooking the water, head to the beach, grab a meal of some fresh, local fish nearby, sit on the beach til sunset, then watch a movie or read til I fell asleep. times 2 ;-p Edited August 25, 2016 by StaceyinLA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Shop. Read. Go out to lunch and read. Go out to dinner and read. Go out to breakfast and read. I love to read while I eat. Such a no-kids type of treat. Take a long bath. Watch trashy TV in bed way too late into the night without a husband to tell me to turn off the light and go to sleep. Sleep late in the morning. Go get a foot massage or pedicure. Then shop some more. And repeat. Sounds awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Yes. Do *you* want to go away for a weekend? Or is there something else that would be more refreshing for you? Take some time to think about what would be really attractive to you. It's great that your husband wants to give you some time away, but if the weekend in a hotel is his idea, and you don't like it, you can say no, and then tell him what you'd really like. :-) My husband once gave me the gift of a massage. It was a horrible gift for me. I hated every minute of it and couldn't wait for it to be over. Part of the problem was the timing of it, but still. It was nice of him but I should have sent him and done something I preferred. :-) LOL, probably never occured that you wouldn't like it. Me? I love my husband. I think he's amazing. However, if I ever leave the man, it will be for a masseuse and I don't even care what he looks like. I would only want him for his hands. ;) :P 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 LOL, probably never occured that you wouldn't like it. Me? I love my husband. I think he's amazing. However, if I ever leave the man, it will be for a masseuse and I don't even care what he looks like. I would only want him for his hands. ;) :p I should have added... it was a horrible gift for me and he might have known... as he is in a position to know what kind of touch I like and don't like, kwim? :-) And I have never, ever asked him for a back rub or any other sort of massage. :-) He, on the other hand, loves a good massage! Great gift for him! :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 If I had the $, I would totally go to a spa/hotel, swim in the pool, eat take-out in bed, watch movies and play online; take long, hot showers and shave my legs without rushing. I might even use shaving cream. I might go get a haircut or shop for a new outfit. Sit in Barnes & Noble and each cheesecake and drink coffee and read the magazines for free. Go for a long walk. Go to a movie and have my own bucket of popcorn and a cherry Icee. That all sounds so nice. In reality, there is no money for spa/hotel (ha!), though I suppose I could do some variation of the rest (though not all of them). The last time I had the house to myself (kids at camp, DH on a fundraising trip), I cleaned a very little, watched a Harry Potter marathon. I made foods that nobody but myself like (carbonara with extra bacon, anyone?). It was still nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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