She lasted a term - now what?

[Tanikit]

We emigrated to Australia in April this year and my husband requested that the children, who had been homeschooled up until then, start school in Australia in order to fit into the new society, obtain an accent and I am betting he wanted to know how they were doing since he has not had much involvement in their schooling. I think he also wanted me to start working and was worried about finances in a new country and with the huge expenses involved in migration.

 

He is now in a good job, though I think it feels a bit lonely for him and the adaptation to a new country has been less easy for him than for me. I am working Fridays and some Saturdays only, but the children require day care on the Fridays as no one is available to pick them up when school closes and we have no close friends or family in this country.

 

My children have not been IQ tested. My 5 year old started kindergarten (called pre-primary here) this year and was the most advanced in reading. She is now doing her eldest sister's year 3 (grade 3) mathematics homework as I do not see the point in letting my eldest do it and the younger one likes to. My 5 year old is happy at school - she likes doing show and tell, she tells me she wants "perfect" and her written reports contain simple sentences that are all correctly spelled and punctuated with no red pen on them but are not very exciting. When she wrote her cousin a letter at home and posted it to her we saw that she is capable of more. She, however likes having friends at school (she had only this year started to make friends in the homeschool groups we were attending, possibly based on her age and shyness), likes playing outside, likes moving to the computer lab and doing music with the grade 8s (they teach her class songs).

 

My eldest enjoyed her first term when things were new and she was making friends. She liked the system they used for rewards and the fact that she could earn money by doing school jobs and spend it at the end of term. She liked going to more birthday parties than she did as a homeschooled child. This term, however, she is complaining. She has been moved up a class for mathematics but says it is still very boring. She says school is not teaching her anything. She hates the early rising time and that school takes so much of her day and that she cannot just sit and play with friends like she did for hours in the afternoons when we homeschooled. She wants more free time and she wants to waste her time learning nothing less frequently.

 

I have tried talking to the teachers - multiple times in fact. The youngest comes home with no reading homework now and they expect I will fill in - and I do. But this leads to an even longer day for my tired 5 year old. I am also teaching her Maths though she still has to do maths homework from school which is beneath her ability and again this is eating into our short time. When I wrote two words she wanted to write in her weekend news on a piece of paper for her because I knew she would not be able to spell them but wanted to write them and spell them correctly, the teacher took the piece of paper away. I feel like I need to speak to the teachers daily to advocate for her since she is also having some adjustment issues with the stress of a new school and parents in new jobs etc 

 

The eldest is even worse - I looked at her books and her work is not even being corrected properly or often even looked at. The kids often mark their own work or it does not get marked or corrected. Her writing has improved since being at school and she knows how to write paragraphs (something I had not yet focused on in homeschooling).

 

I would like to return to homeschooling and have been researching how to do so (since we are now in a new country with new laws), however my husband is less keen. He has not been involved at the school nor spoken to the teachers and I have asked that he come, but wondered if anyone had any ideas on ways to discuss what is genuinely in my children's and our family's best interests or steps that I could take before seeing teachers - would you recommend IQ testing at this point - would it help at all? Should I show the teachers the curriculum my children have been following at home? Any other ideas. Feeling very frustrated at this point. I suspect also that I would have to give up a job I have just begun to homeschool and I know my husband says that he thinks me working is good for me - I am not career driven. My days at work are fine, but not my priority. Earning money is always nice, but to be honest it is not essential in my eyes for our family right now - we are coping on one income for which I am very grateful.

 

If you got through this, thank you :)

[Arcadia]

IQ test helped for my hubby, it did not help as much for school because my kids were already subject accelerated based on clearing end of year exams with ease.

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/user/90792-chocolate-chip-chooky/ is in Australia. Maybe she can advise on homeschooling laws there or whether advocating is worth it but I think it defers by states.

 

This link might help as a FYI for AU

https://www.homeschoolingdownunder.com/homeschooling-australia/

 

My hubby is enthusiastic about homeschooling but my kids are not. They are happy in their outsourced classes but hubby is not at having to pay (even though it is affordable and not a financial burden). So our situation is different.

[Rosie_0801]

I think you've discovered some of the reasons people homeschool in Australia.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Unless you can put them in a better school, the chances are that you're banging your head against a brick wall.

 

 

[luuknam]

But this leads to an even longer day for my tired 5 year old. I am also teaching her Maths though she still has to do maths homework from school which is beneath her ability and again this is eating into our short time.

 

What would happen if you just told the teacher that your 5yo will no longer be turning in math homework?

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Hi Tanikit - welcome to Australia!

 

I've sent you a PM. I look forward to chatting with you there.  :001_smile:

[LEK]

This is why we homeschool.

From my experience IQ testing will not help, schools here are not set up to allow gifted children to accelerate or use alternative resources, having that score will not change the way the school is run or the opportunities they can provide. Even if you do find a school with an accelerated or gifted program it is likely to only be an hour or 2 a week max of alternative work and even then it will not be a sufficient step up in difficulty to provide an actual challenge (just my experience).

On the other hand homeschooling in australia is great :)

[pinewarbler]

Been there, done it times two.

First kid who went through this is HG, could read short novels by SK. The second is PG, and has always been 4 years ++ ahead in math, so yells out the answers to eldest's questions to me. She's calculating on paper, he's doing it in his head. The first one needs less than half the time the other kids in class need to learn a unit. The second needs no time. I have afterschooled, but never homeschooled for various reasons. Although, I may have to pull out the PG kid eventually if he's not accelerated in middle school.

 

I have learned SO MUCH about advocating for gifted kids in public school after dealing with 16 teachers plus rotary teachers (our ridiculous elementary school puts little kids in rotary). Some of it may not apply to other jurisdications, but I'll try to give some quick notes that I can think of now, and add more later if I think of others.

 

-as mentioned by Sadie, PG kids don't work in public schools -NO ONE understands their needs and/or believes their capabilities. A few teachers are outright hostile to a child who has a higher vocab than they do. My youngest was disgusted when he realized he was smarter than his kindergarten teacher.... it has been a battle offsetting that, but got better with maturity.

 

-each time it suddenly got better in grade 4. Grade 3 here is awful because of standardized testing, so I'll never know if it was the reason I had to wait till grade 4 to have a happier kid. Kids are more mature by then, and teachers are less focused on inane worksheets and colouring in backgrounds. (youngest refused, so I sat and coloured title page backgrounds with him for 3 years. I developed great colouring skills).

 

-I finally learned to tell the teacher "NO - my kid won't be doing a book report on "Give your Mouse a Cookie", but he's thrilled to be doing one on Harry Potter." With the worst teacher ever, that took 3 conversations before we understood that I wasn't backing down. The rest of the year went smoothly in that we completely ignored her homework, and she completely ignored me!

 

-I gave up worrying about marks in grade 1-3. The teachers are only marking spelling and handwriting and adding. That doesn't add up to much. They were not happy when, for eg., he put "ellipse" not "oval" on his grade 1 math test. He was marked wrong. By grade 4 they are looking for good writing, more complex math abilities and they don't care about handwriting. Suddenly, my youngest is getting straight A's to A+'s and perfect on workskills. And OMG he got an A in phys ed :laugh: !

 

-The best teachers were the ones where I could go to them in Sept. and talk to them about my kid's gifted individual education plan in an easygoing way. I go in with the plan my kid and I have come up with.... the 2 or 3 project/changes they want to do this year, and I pitch it as a discrete package, rather than a "Please change everything you were planning on doing because my kid is gifted" demand. I let them know that I realize their time is precious, and I want them to be able to execute a tight IEP. My kid is already on board. Don't get me wrong... my PG kid does need everything modified, desperately. But I can't get that. What I can get is a motivated teacher if I play the cards right.

 

-I work hard to get my kid onboard. They need to realize that they have to prove themselves to get the full commitment of the teacher. And what are they dying to do this year?

 

-My PG kid complains about wasting time constantly. I just ask "What are you dying to do?" and then we put it on the calendar in pen and I make sure we do it.  Standing in line in school for a teacher with a power issue, waiting for the class to be quiet... it all sucks! But you can use it to talk about the importance of considering others!

 

-One of the reasons I appreciate them going to school is that they are learning to get up early and follow through on commitments no matter how hard they are. But sometimes if it gets too hard, I start moving the bedtimes earlier.

 

-Last year I started pulling my PG youngest out of school for a program twice a month. We are outdoors doing nature study with homeschool kids. It is enough of a break that he can get through the month. I just call him in sick.. why bother fighting with the school about it?

 

-I wanted to advocate daily for my 5 year olds. Looking back, they shouldn't have been in school. But, the second time around, I learned to take all the things I was going to say to the teacher, write them down and let them sit till Friday. 90% of the time, they didn't seem important enough by then to anger her over them. And anger is the only response you'll get.

 

-Now, I only mention things that I know the teacher can and will change. And now I always bring my husband. He doesn't speak.. he takes notes. It keeps them on amazingly good behaviour previously not witnessed by me!

 

-I finally paid to have my kids assessed, even though the school was going to do one kid for free. I wanted to control the info, having met the people who were going to use it! The info helped me understand them, helped my kids get offers for congregated gifted classrooms (we only took them up on one of them) but most of all, it brought me respect from the teachers that I knew what I was talking about. No eye rolling any more. I also speak to the VP 3 times a year about their IEP projects and the extra contributions they give to the school. I encourage her to mentor them. It is starting to work.. she is starting to acknowledge that gifted kids are great to have around.

 

-Consider volunteering at the school. Maybe the teacher doesn't have any tech (or books) she needs. Maybe her classroom is boiling hot every day, or has a leaky roof. You'll find out soon, and may have a better understanding.

 

-I try to stay positive. We've had 4 out of 16 really good teachers. One was mindblowing... I couldn't have taught at that level ever. The other 3 were awesome. On the bad years, I do whatever I have to do to get them through the year.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 12, 2016 by pinewarbler