TechWife Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 **Please don't tell me any bad stories! I know enough of them on my own. ** Oh, this is so hard! I am trying not to be nervous, but I just am! DS is driving to a friend's house on Friday to meet with a small group of friends (four total). They will then go to a lake house owned by one of their parents. Yes, realistically, anything that could happen there could happen at college, I know that. They don't have the lake at college, but they do have winding mountain roads in close proximity. I just keep remembering every boating accident and every college drinking accident story that I've ever heard. I grew up near a very large lake and I know a lot of stories. We have talked about not drinking (he is underage), drinking/driving and drinking/boating. I have described some of the accidents I know of and some of the just stupid things people did on the lake. We have talked about the people going on the trip. He says they know each other very well and they aren't "party people." We've talked about liability and not doing stupid things. I've covered as much ground as I can think of, really. I have to trust him, and more than that I need to trust God. This growing up thing is so hard on us parents! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 :grouphug: Going through this myself. Not quite the same--I am sending my dear daughter to a big public university, not a lake party. She's ready, and she's mature. She'll be fine. But I worry, and I keep having conversations about how to handle all the dangers out in the world. And she's being very patient. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 (edited) I went to a friend's parents' lake house in college. There were 4 of us. Coed and platonic, even. We slept in, made pancakes, and listened to music. It was winter, so then we went snowshoeing/cross-country skiing/whatnot. Nothing remotely dangerous or bad happened. I am just saying, maybe you should think about how much fun they will have? ETA: Sorry, missed the JAWM. Edited July 28, 2016 by ikslo 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 28, 2016 Author Share Posted July 28, 2016 (edited) I went to a friend's parents' lake house in college. There were 4 of us. Coed and platonic, even. We slept in, made pancakes, and listened to music. It was winter, so then we went snowshoeing/cross-country skiing/whatnot. Nothing remotely dangerous or bad happened. I am just saying, maybe you should think about how much fun they will have? ETA: Sorry, missed the JAWM. I need good stories! This is great, thank you! Editing to correct iPad auto correct. Edited July 28, 2016 by TechWife 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Well, it wasn't all good. None of us were very good at making pancakes at the time. LOL. It's a good thing we had cereal in the house. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Hugs. It is really hard. Almost all the expeditions my children have taken with college friends have involved some sort of boat. And cars. And beer, usually. Super scary, I agree. I keep telling myself that the alternative to this scenario is couch potato, not at all something I want. I want competent men not inept boys. That means they have to DO things. And leaves me holding my breath and praying hard while they acquire the experience that builds competence. Sigh. We told our sons they could call us anytime of the day or night if the situation they were in became uncomfortable, and we would come get them. We would ask no questions then or ever, even if they were falling down drunk. They could tell their friends that their grandmother had gotten sick and they had to rush home. We have taken a few very inconvenient late night drives, but it was better than the alternative. We,ve also given advice, when we couldn,t get to them. We are very brief, ask no questions, and never refer to it later. I think that is why they are willing to call. Almost certainly, they will have a wonderful time and come back relaxed and happy and a bit sunburned, with some fun stories of cooking disasters and outboard engine troubles, all proud of themselves. Truly, this sounds exactly like what your son should be doing at his age. He is lucky to have friends and a nice place to go. I hope he has glorious weather. Hugs Nan 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanDiegoMom Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 My boyfriend (now husband) and I stayed at beach houses a few times in college with large groups of people. If they aren't party people he'll be fine. In our groups the party people ended up doing stupid stuff while we just played card games and frisbee on the beach. There was always alcohol, but there were those who drank responsibly and those who didn't - we just stayed away from those who didn't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 (edited) So far dd has: Gone to Cape Cod for a week with a group of a dozen in a rental cottage. Driven back to Boston from St. Louis, leaving in the evening and the guys taking turns driving and sleeping the van. Driven from our house to Boston with a young man from Chicago, as they picked up friends along the way. And then numerous skiing weekends in New Hampshire, traipsing around San Francisco this summer (not to mention living in the Mission District to begin with), weekend trip to the beach house of a friend in Baltimore, and the hackathon in Philadelphia during the blizzard last year when a friend drove six hours to get them on the freshly-cleared turnpike because their flight was cancelled. She has survived! It's water and cars that scare me, because those are actual risks. I used to be scared of her getting airbnb rentals and ubers, but I'm getting used to those. :D The one positive of the media issue is that they seem more aware than we were that they aren't invincible. I don't see the dumb risks like we took. Edited July 28, 2016 by angela in ohio 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Having read this thread through, I think I'm going to disagree with Nan & choose to have couch potato kids :lol: dd's friend keeps inviting her to a cabin which involves a long drive on a super deadly highway & then a boat ride across a lake (which they'd be doing in the dark). There are bears ( no real biggie) and cougars (BIG biggie. Cougars scare me). So far the timing has never worked - for which I'm secretly very glad..... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Hang in there! I know what you mean--my ds is going to go on a 5 hour trip in a couple of weeks, to do a reunion of kids from the 3-week camp he went to. I know adventure is good, and I'm mainly excited for him, and I think he makes good decisions overall...but have to let go of the unknowns too! I hope your son and his friends have a fun, safe time! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 28, 2016 Author Share Posted July 28, 2016 He is supposed to bring snacks. I asked him what he was thinking of bringing. His answer: A bag of pretzels and some Oreos. I'm thinking that's not quite enough... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 He is supposed to bring snacks. I asked him what he was thinking of bringing. His answer: A bag of pretzels and some Oreos. I'm thinking that's not quite enough... LOL, how many kids times how many days? But at least he has the sweet and salty thing down... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 28, 2016 Author Share Posted July 28, 2016 LOL, how many kids times how many days? But at least he has the sweet and salty thing down... Four kids, three days. I encouraged him to think it through a little bit more. At least someone else is in charge of bringing the food for meals, so they have some hope of eating! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 It is so hard when they get older and independent! So much worrying and hoping it will all be ok. It's good that you talked about your concerns. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 My dd went on a "senior trip" with several friends, her first co-ed one. I was concerned about the physical stuff of hiking, rock climbing, water sports etc., but also about the social stuff. I worry about this since she is an only child. She came home and told us how angry and disgusted she was with several of the guys on the trip. I waited apprehensively to hear what they had done. Turns out, they were slobs. They left food out, left dirty plates everywhere, didn't pick up their wet towells, etc. (BTW, all things that I have fussed at dd for doing this past semester at home;) ) She was livid when describing finding a half-eaten bowl of cereal "with milk!!!" that had been left on an end table all day while they were out. I have to confess, it was very hard to keep my face composed and still my tongue. In hindsight, I am very glad we decided to let her go on the trip. It was important for her to learn how it feels to have to be the one doing all the cleaning. I think it dispelled a number of unrealistic, romantic notions she might have had about the opposite sex. It was important for her to begin to see guys as individuals, some of whom are tidy and others of whom are...not. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 **Please don't tell me any bad stories! I know enough of them on my own. ** Oh, this is so hard! I am trying not to be nervous, but I just am! DS is driving to a friend's house on Friday to meet with a small group of friends (four total). They will then go to a lake house owned by one of their parents. Yes, realistically, anything that could happen there could happen at college, I know that. They don't have the lake at college, but they do have winding mountain roads in close proximity. I just keep remembering every boating accident and every college drinking accident story that I've ever heard. I grew up near a very large lake and I know a lot of stories. We have talked about not drinking (he is underage), drinking/driving and drinking/boating. I have described some of the accidents I know of and some of the just stupid things people did on the lake. We have talked about the people going on the trip. He says they know each other very well and they aren't "party people." We've talked about liability and not doing stupid things. I've covered as much ground as I can think of, really. I have to trust him, and more than that I need to trust God. This growing up thing is so hard on us parents! It really is. I'm actually sleeping these days. Everyone leaves next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 Well, he's on his way. He never did go shopping for snacks and he overslept and started off late, too. Oh, well. His trip, his deal, right? Now, I have an empty house until tomorrow afternoon. What to do? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Maybe what snacks he brought will all be eaten before they actually arrive at their destination, while they are still where they can get to a gas station and rectify the situation. : ) Hugs, Nan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Well, he's on his way. He never did go shopping for snacks and he overslept and started off late, too. Oh, well. His trip, his deal, right? Now, I have an empty house until tomorrow afternoon. What to do? Keep busy so you don't focus on worrying! Gosh, this sounds like one of my sons as far as not planning with the snacks and getting out late... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 Keep busy so you don't focus on worrying! Gosh, this sounds like one of my sons as far as not planning with the snacks and getting out late... I decided to go to volunteer at the hospital today. I missed one of my usual days this week, so I made up the time today. Now I am cozy on the couch with a cat curled up next to me! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 I decided to go to volunteer at the hospital today. I missed one of my usual days this week, so I made up the time today. Now I am cozy on the couch with a cat curled up next to me! That sounds nice. How long is the drive? Should they have arrived by now? Remember - no news is good news. : ) Hugs, Nan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 (edited) :grouphug: Tech Wife :grouphug: Totally understand! DS#2's first trip was age 19, driving 15 hours straight (starting at 11pm!) with just one other friend (they kept trading driving) to get to their destination. He survived, and had a great time, in spite of it being his first real interstate driving… That same son is currently doing a 6-month project of backpacking and tent-living with a crew of 6-7 others while doing trail conservation and using chainsaws and axes on a daily basis. :: shudder:: And he's thinking of applying to wild land forest fire fighting service next year. :ohmy: I'm getting an awful lot of practice in praying and in stress reduction techniques… ;) Not only has our DS survived, he's thriving. All of these experiences are really bringing out a level-headedness and real leadership qualities in DS; and despite what it sounds like from above (lol), he really is cautious and careful -- a HUGE amount of maturing from his spontaneous / thoughtless distractible childhood exploits. ;) This will be a terrific experience for your DS, Tech Wife! hugs, Lori Edited July 30, 2016 by Lori D. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 He texted me two photos - one of his really bad sunburn, the other of the back of a boat from what I assume, due to the angle, was a tube. Wonder if he'll loose his phone in the lake? Thanks for the encouragement, everyone! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 He texted me two photos - one of his really bad sunburn, the other of the back of a boat from what I assume, due to the angle, was a tube. Wonder if he'll loose his phone in the lake? LOL!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 31, 2016 Author Share Posted July 31, 2016 He's safely home and still has his phone! It sounds like he had a really good time. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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