this child's sleep patterns are driving me crazy!!!

[AnthemLights]

We have had this foster child now for 3 months. 

 

He is 2 years old, turning 3 in a few weeks.  It doesn't matter what time we put him to bed, what time he gets up in the morning or whether or not he got a nap that day, he just does NOT fall asleep until midnight or later.  And he won't stay in bed unless someone stays in the room with him.  

 

Luckily, my daughter is somewhat of a night owl.  He sleeps in her room and she stays up until he falls asleep.  Which is awesome.  She is 16, though, and needs a ton of sleep, so I usually let her sleep in until 10:00 the next day.  (He is usually awake by 6:30 or 7:00   :confused1:) I am not liking what this is doing to our family schedule (especially when school starts again)  and I really, really wish that we could figure out what to do. 

 

(His mom was/is a drug addict, so maybe? that has something to do with it.  I don't know if she was using when she was pregnant.  And if that would even make a difference.  Just throwing it out there, in case.)

 

Any advice...other than no naps. No naps doesn't work.  He just gets really cranky and still doesn't fall asleep until midnight.   :crying:

 

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs. Sounds very tiring.

 

 

Surprised that you are alowed to have a foster child sharing a room with non biological relative.

[kiwik]

It could just be he has never had a bedtime or any other routine or it could be he has a wonky biological clock. If he is used to falling asleep in front of the TV then being put in a bed would be scary. Are you allowed to give a foster kid melatonin?

[OneStepAtATime]

My DD was like this and has never had an easy time going to sleep or staying asleep. No magic bullet advice except to suggest talking to a pediatrician who specializes in sleep disorders if you can find one. Our pediatrician was no help but I hear some can be. DD eventually learned to self sooth so she no longer needs someone to help her wind down or go back to sleep but it was years before she got to that point.

 

Hugs to you all. It is exhausting, I know. Just keep at the forefront of your thoughts that he can't help it. He may need an evaluation.

 

Things that did help a tad here although it took quite a while or things that I have heard work for others:

 

1. Same bed time and bedtime routine every.single.night. (may take weeks for his brain to associate that bedtime with sleep).

 

2. Melatonin at same time each night for a week.

 

3. Lots of heavy physical activities a few hours before bed time.

 

4. White noise.

 

5. Soothing back rub/arm rubs/forehead rubs.

 

6. Elimination Diet to confirm no food allergies.

 

Not much I realize. Sorry. Hugs and good luck.

[73349]

Our DS was like that, except he'd fall asleep earlier than midnight (10 with a nap, 9 without but then you get the dinnertime meltdowns). He would be up by 6.

 

What helped:

• acknowledging that he is not choosing wakefulness over sleep--he just doesn't know how to go from awake to asleep (mostly to help maintain our own sanity)
• a large cotton sleep sack
• keeping his room cool
• white noise (we used a rain cd) running all night
• color-changing clock to verify for him that it was night
• consistent bedtime routine: first toothbrush, then bath, then pjs, story in bed, hug, lights out.

Around 2.5 he started to do a lot better.

[Chris in VA]

The drug abuse of his mom could be part of the issue, if she used while he was in utero.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aristotles-child/201107/sleep-problems-in-the-alcohol-or-drug-exposed-child

[AnthemLights]

Thanks everyone.  Last night was particularly bad.  Poor girl fell asleep around 2:00, couldn't stay awake any longer and thought child was pretty much asleep.  Woke up an hour later to lights on and him sitting in the middle of the bedroom playing with her things.  {Sigh}  Yesterday was a very active day.  Very hot outside so we spent most of the day playing in the kiddie pool.  He was worn out exhausted by bedtime and should have gone right to sleep.   :confused1:

 

I've tried most of the things that you all have listed.  We do consistent bedtime routine, white noise (he has a bedtime classical CD, very soothing), cool room.

 

I hadn't thought about diet.

 

I am going to add melatonin to the routine and see what that does.  I know it wouldn't be a problem with bio mom/CPS

[ktgrok]

It would be...hard...but there is some evidence the best way to fix this is to keep him up all night, then put him to bed early the next night. 

 

Or to go camping for a week with no lights. 

[fairfarmhand]

Can you flip the breaker for that bedroom so that the child can't turn on the light?

[Miss Peregrine]

We were allowed to give supplements but they had to be documented.

 

My son had terrible sleep when he first came to us. He was drug-exposed in utero. We used an ipod with classical music while I patted his back until he fell asleep.

Edited July 1, 2016 by Miss Peregrine

[Pronghorn]

My child (adopted) was afraid of sleep and would keep flinging herself around to stay awake no matter how tired she was. I ended up holding her forcibly still. After about an hour of not being able to move, she would fall asleep. I don't know if you could do this with a foster child. You should also look into the light situation in the room. You can buy special nightlights that don't inhibit the production of melatonin (lowbluelights.com). You can read about how light influences melatonin on that website. I used that for my own personal insomnia. Also, noise of some sort might help. My daughter did best with rather raucous music when she was little.

[ktgrok]

What happens if instead of sending him to bed, you let him lay on the couch and watch television? Any chance he'd just pass out? Not a cartoon or anything, but something less stimulating, like a nature documentary?

[wendyroo]

Thanks everyone.  Last night was particularly bad.  Poor girl fell asleep around 2:00, couldn't stay awake any longer and thought child was pretty much asleep.  Woke up an hour later to lights on and him sitting in the middle of the bedroom playing with her things.  {Sigh}  Yesterday was a very active day.  Very hot outside so we spent most of the day playing in the kiddie pool.  He was worn out exhausted by bedtime and should have gone right to sleep.   :confused1:

 

I would not feel comfortable with this sleeping arrangement.

 

It would feel dangerous, irresponsible and simply unfair to have a toddler with severe insomnia awake for hours at night under the care of a teenager surrounded by said teenager's things.

 

:grouphug:   My autistic, ADHD son really struggles with sleep and keeping him safe while allowing the rest of us to get the sleep we need is a huge challenge.

 

Wendy

[Miss Peregrine]

I would not feel comfortable with this sleeping arrangement.

 

It would feel dangerous, irresponsible and simply unfair to have a toddler with severe insomnia awake for hours at night under the care of a teenager surrounded by said teenager's things.

 

:grouphug: My autistic, ADHD son really struggles with sleep and keeping him safe while allowing the rest of us to get the sleep we need is a huge challenge.

 

Wendy

I'm surprised it's allowed at all. Here, opposite sex may not share a room with larger than a 5 year age gap.

[LMV]

Sometimes kids get their days and nights confused. There is some literature that suggests you can reset the clock by keeping them an hour or two later each night until you cycle back to an appropriate sleeping period. If this is the case, you might try this. Given that it sounds like this kid generally only sleeps for five or six hours at night I would be wary that there might be something a little more complicated going on. Have you discussed this with his pediatrician?

 

You can also look at sleep hygiene issues. Things like a consistent bedtime routine, eliminating caffeine, avoiding screens for at least two hours prior to sleep, etc., really can make a big difference.

 

 

 

Hugs. Sounds very tiring.

 

 

Surprised that you are alowed to have a foster child sharing a room with non biological relative.

We wouldn't have been allowed to do that. We needed caseworker approval to let DD12 and DD8 share a room (when they were originally DFD8 and DFD4). We hadn't originally planned for them to share as we had the space for them to each have their own room and were originally putting them to sleep in separate rooms but they were ending up in the same room before morning. They were full biological sisters so the caseworker approved it but we had to move them both into a third room because our county requires eighty square feet per child if they are sharing a room and neither of their intended original rooms were quite large enough.

[AnthemLights]

We are unofficially fostering although CPS is aware of the situation. Caseworker was out to check out our home/ situation. He saw the sleeping arrangements and didn't say anything. So I guess we are okay. This is the first time he has outlasted her. And yeah I'm not real comfortable with that either. We'll maybe have to try to figure out other arrangements.

 

It's worked so far because he doesn't get out of bed as long as she is awake. And then I am up before he is and keep an eye on him until he wakes. But his insomnia just seems to be getting worse.

[AnthemLights]

We don't have a ped. Just a family doctor. I didn't think to mention it to her when we saw her a few weeks ago. At that time I thought we had a handle on it. We had just bought room darkening shades for that bedroom and it seemed to make a difference for a few nights anyway

 

We have a follow up appt in 2 weeks on an unrelated issue. I'll ask her about it then.

[Ottakee]

Not sure if CPS will allow it (they did for us years ago) but we had a crib with a crib tent so that my one could NOT get out of bed.  We just all needed to be safe and get some sleep.

 

Speaking of cribs, is he in a crib?  Some kids find that confining space more secure and relaxing.  I had one that slept in a crib (by choice) until 7 years old.

[AnthemLights]

I would not feel comfortable with this sleeping arrangement.

 

It would feel dangerous, irresponsible and simply unfair to have a toddler with severe insomnia awake for hours at night under the care of a teenager surrounded by said teenager's things.

 

:grouphug: My autistic, ADHD son really struggles with sleep and keeping him safe while allowing the rest of us to get the sleep we need is a huge challenge.

 

Wendy

[AnthemLights]

Sorry Wendy I was trying to quote on my phone

 

I don't think it's dangerous. We have child proofed her room. And he is not destructive at all. Which I thank God for. It's just that obviously none of us are comfortable with him being awake by himself.

 

After last night we will have to rethink things.

[AnthemLights]

He is in toddler bed. I would be worried with a crib because he is such a little monkey. 😜 I think with a crib I would just have the added worry about him hurting himself climbing out.

Edited July 1, 2016 by AnthemLights

[wendyroo]

Sorry Wendy I was trying to quote on my phone

 

I don't think it's dangerous. We have child proofed her room. And he is not destructive at all. Which I thank God for. It's just that obviously none of us are comfortable with him being awake by himself.

 

After last night we will have to rethink things.

 

I have found that there really is no adequate level of child proofing for a toddler who could potentially be awake for hours in the night unsupervised.

 

When Peter was that age he experimented with eating non-food items, unplugging his lamp and wrapping the cord around his neck, smashing light bulbs, leaving the room and exploring the rest of the house, etc.

 

I would never want a teenage to feel responsible if she fell asleep (in her room, late at night) and something tragic happened.

 

Wendy

[Pen]

I don't think this is an acceptable arrangement for your 16 year old, and could cause her difficulties if something goes wrong and the blame falls to her.

 

It sounds like you need a physician and a therapist to give some input. 

 

Keeping the toddler awake one night and through to the next and then to bed at a time you choose may help correct his rhythms even at the cost of a lot of crankiness, but maybe the short term difficulty would be better than night after night problems. 

 

What time do the adults in the family go to bed? Can he stay in a room with the adults until 11:30 PM and then be put to bed with story, massage, etc. and start a routine that way and then gradually work it earlier and earlier each night?  Maybe at  7PM there is a family walk or park trip to get him physically tired, and then at 8 or 9 there is a warm bath and at 10 PM a bedtime preparatory bottle of warm milk or some other soothing parts to the routine...  all of which get moved gradually earlier till he is at something like an 8 or 9 PM bedtime.

[AnthemLights]

Oh wow Wendy. That would be super scary. Did you ever figure out something that worked for him.

[AnthemLights]

I'm going to try some of the easier suggestions along with also talking to our family doc and seeing if she has any insight.

 

We will also move him into our bedroom until we get things figured out.

 

Too bad there is no miracle cure.

[prairiewindmomma]

OneStep's advice is right on target with what was recommended to us.  Melatonin melt-a-ways were helpful for us as a short term help (less than 6 weeks of use) to try to get the body to go to sleep. We still don't have sleep totally sorted our for my kid with the most severe issues, but bright early morning light and heavy physical activity followed by avoiding evening light and keeping to the exact sleep schedule for waking times has been helpful.

[Melissa in Australia]

Surprised you are allowed to have a foster child share your bedroom. They are meant to have their own room or share with their same sex biologically related sibling.

 

Having a fosterchild in your room may lead to all sorts of unpleasant accusations. It is really to protect your family that the no share rooms regulations are Inforced with foster children.

[EKS]

We used a crib tent (which I realize doesn't help with the sleep issue, but it would help with the wandering issue).  I don't know if they even sell them anymore, but it was a lifesaver for us.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I put unofficial extra kids in my room. Here, CPS doesn't care as long as the kid's not officially placed.

 

Foster kids (officially placed) would HAVE to share with one of my kids (gender matched) if over 2 years. Under 2 and my room is fine.

 

I keep my room kid proof (though I still can't figure out how to do it for a certain 9 year old). I have an extra mattress on the floor, and I baby gate the doorway.

 

We had an 18 month old at one point and I could not imagine making my teen watch her at night. The only time my teen had to share was when the baby's sister was here. She wouldn't leave the baby alone and I didn't feel it was safe to have them both in my room essentially unsupervised. Dd shared with the older child, but it was only 2 nights. Any longer, and I would've had to do something different.

[AnthemLights]

Surprised you are allowed to have a foster child share your bedroom. They are meant to have their own room or share with their same sex biologically related sibling.

 

Having a fosterchild in your room may lead to all sorts of unpleasant accusations. It is really to protect your family that the no share rooms regulations are Inforced with foster children.

 

Like I replied earlier, it is not an official foster situation yet.  It is heading that way maybe, in which case, we will deal with all the rules then.   :001_smile:   CPS has been out to interview us and they seemed fine with the way things are.  (Sharing with DD16)

 

At his point, I would much rather have someone in the room with him.  (I do understand the concerns, though)  I guess we will have to see what comes.  

 

Getting off track here, but for those of you who know the ins and outs of fostering how would that work?  Separate bedrooms, I mean.  We only have 3.  The master, one for our daughter and one for our 2 boys. The childrens' rooms are huge though - 12x20.  Could we just partition one of them in half?  Like with office type dividers or something like that?

[Miss Peregrine]

Like I replied earlier, it is not an official foster situation yet. It is heading that way maybe, in which case, we will deal with all the rules then. :001_smile: CPS has been out to interview us and they seemed fine with the way things are. (Sharing with DD16)

 

At his point, I would much rather have someone in the room with him. (I do understand the concerns, though) I guess we will have to see what comes.

 

Getting off track here, but for those of you who know the ins and outs of fostering how would that work? Separate bedrooms, I mean. We only have 3. The master, one for our daughter and one for our 2 boys. The childrens' rooms are huge though - 12x20. Could we just partition one of them in half? Like with office type dividers or something like that?

It would depend on your county requirements. Here it is 2 to a room. It could be square footage somewhere else.

[JonesinIndiana]

Not unusual for PTSD/DTD kiddos to have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I'm sure drug exposure in utero and childhood trauma all play into the inability to sleep.

 

What worked for us was attachment therapy and a family bed to strengthen our attachment but there was still anxiety. When my daughter was older and in her own bed and having trouble falling asleep, we used essential oils that my friend was selling. It worked. We continue to use them and it takes her 15-30 minutes to fall asleep verses the 2-3 hours it took before. She uses it in a roller ball she rolls on her feet.

[AnthemLights]

 

Just wanted to be clear about something, since different ones have brought it up.... DD volunteered, very eagerly, because first she likes children and second, she likes to stay up late anyway.  The little guy is extremely high needs during the day, but very easy once he's in bed.  Other than not going to sleep and occasionally trying to sneak out.   :tongue_smilie:  There is no way I would have asked her to do this if she hadn't asked and if I didn't feel like she could handle it.  And if it any time (like now) I feel like it might be too much for her, then we reconsider.  

 

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Edited July 1, 2016 by AnthemLights

[AnthemLights]

Not unusual for PTSD/DTD kiddos to have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I'm sure drug exposure in utero and childhood trauma all play into the inability to sleep.

 

What worked for us was attachment therapy and a family bed to strengthen our attachment but there was still anxiety. When my daughter was older and in her own bed and having trouble falling asleep, we used essential oils that my friend was selling. It worked. We continue to use them and it takes her 15-30 minutes to fall asleep verses the 2-3 hours it took before. She uses it in a roller ball she rolls on her feet.

 

We actually did this the first couple of nights and it seemed to work well (although my husband and I don't usually go to bed much before midnight anyway.)  :001_smile:

 

It didn't seem like a good long-term solution.  

[ktgrok]

Him wanting to be with people is why I'm wondering what would happen if instead of putting him to bed, he just laid on the couch while you all watched tv? My kids all fall asleep on the couch when they are that age, snuggled against an adult, while we watch something that is fairly boring to them. Generally PBS...antique's roadshow is good for that, lol! I enjoy hearing the history of an antique tapestry but the kids tend to fall asleep quickly, since it isn't a cartoon or anything stimulating. There's no battle, not bed time drama, because they aren't being forced to bed. They just kind of conk out. 

 

And if he came from a drug addicted mother, that honestly is most likely how he used to fall asleep anyway, just wherever he was, with tv and noise in the background. 

Edited July 2, 2016 by ktgrok

[Ottakee]

Ktgrok...i agree. Our oldest slept in the couch for a few years after he came. He was used to it and would fall asleep quickly if we let him. Beds were a battle.

 

You soon learn in fostering and older child adoptions to let go of many of your "ideals" in parenting and just do what the child needs to feel safe and secure.

[AnthemLights]

Him wanting to be with people is why I'm wondering what would happen if instead of putting him to bed, he just laid on the couch while you all watched tv? My kids all fall asleep on the couch when they are that age, snuggled against an adult, while we watch something that is fairly boring to them. Generally PBS...antique's roadshow is good for that, lol! I enjoy hearing the history of an antique tapestry but the kids tend to fall asleep quickly, since it isn't a cartoon or anything stimulating. There's no battle, not bed time drama, because they aren't being forced to bed. They just kind of conk out. 

 

And if he came from a drug addicted mother, that honestly is most likely how he used to fall asleep anyway, just wherever he was, with tv and noise in the background. 

 

 

 

I would be curious to see how he would respond to that as well.  We don't watch tv as a family though, only an occasional movie....not sure we would want to start if we didn't have to. 

 

Him wanting to be with people was the reason why I thought it would work so good for him to sleep in the same room with DD16.  His bed is right next to hers.  Literally, right next.  She can reach down and rub his back without leaving her bed. He is right there with someone.  And we haven't really had a sleep battle.  He stays in bed and so far I haven't worried overmuch how long it takes him to go to sleep.  Except for now I am.... because it is getting worse, not better.  

[JFSinIL]

I agree that it is not a good idea to have him sleeping (or not sleeping) in your teen daughter's room. If naught else, it is not fair to her!!!! She is not the

foster mom - you are.

[Pen]

Like I replied earlier, it is not an official foster situation yet.  It is heading that way maybe, in which case, we will deal with all the rules then.   :001_smile:   CPS has been out to interview us and they seemed fine with the way things are.  (Sharing with DD16)

 

At his point, I would much rather have someone in the room with him.  (I do understand the concerns, though)  I guess we will have to see what comes.  

 

Getting off track here, but for those of you who know the ins and outs of fostering how would that work?  Separate bedrooms, I mean.  We only have 3.  The master, one for our daughter and one for our 2 boys. The childrens' rooms are huge though - 12x20.  Could we just partition one of them in half?  Like with office type dividers or something like that?

 

 

It is different in different places and situations. And even the exact person you would get as who would certify your home could deal with things differently than another exact person even in the same place and under the same law. In fact, if the exact person changed, you could find that what social worker  A asked for is now the opposite of what social worker B wants.  Ask me how I know :) .

 

Both states I dealt with though had written lists of the basic requirements, and I'd suggest if you see if that exists for where you are and if so, start there.  They specified things like a smoke detector  to be located in the child's room and another on each floor of the house, and a class ___ fire extinguisher for each floor of the house, and thus and such number of drawers for the child's use, and _______   say.  I started out by just following the list, so by the time someone came to look most things that they were going to be asking for were already done.

 

But another thing is that if the social workers want it to work out they tend to help make that happen--I mean sort of get a "where there's a will there's a way" attitude. And there is at least a certain amount of rationality. 

 

If I had a 12 x 20 room and a child afraid of being alone, I'd probably set it up with enough beds and cribs for all 3 boys and in a way that it could be considered officially 2 rooms if need be.

 

My certifiers liked to see things like smoke alarms and fire extinguishers, and also, though I'd been worried about mess and dust bunnies, it turned out they preferred that to a too pristine look that would not be kid-friendly and kid-mess friendly.  We had some issues with windows, such as one certifier wanted a window barred off so a child could not fall out, and the next was horrified by that as being a danger in case of fire. Similarly, one jurisdiction wanted relatively cool hot water heater temps so children would not scald themselves, and another wanted it very hot so that laundry and dishes would be nearly sterile when washed in hot.

 

I had a situation where I specifically enquired about putting a divider in a larger room (though had in mind using furniture to achieve the division) and was told that was okay, for that particular room, as I had described it, and for the particular child and as would be approved by the particular social worker.

 

A therapist's opinions can also make a difference--for example, if a therapist advises that a child needs to be in a room with others that can help, IME.

[Melissa in Australia]

Like I replied earlier, it is not an official foster situation yet.  It is heading that way maybe, in which case, we will deal with all the rules then.   :001_smile:   CPS has been out to interview us and they seemed fine with the way things are.  (Sharing with DD16)

 

At his point, I would much rather have someone in the room with him.  (I do understand the concerns, though)  I guess we will have to see what comes.  

 

Getting off track here, but for those of you who know the ins and outs of fostering how would that work?  Separate bedrooms, I mean.  We only have 3.  The master, one for our daughter and one for our 2 boys. The childrens' rooms are huge though - 12x20.  Could we just partition one of them in half?  Like with office type dividers or something like that?

Here if you cannot provide a bedroom for the child you cannot foster.

 

 The twins share, which is fine as they are biologically related similar in age siblings. But when their brother was visiting for a few days last week he needed his own bedroom. He is almost 8.

[ktgrok]

I would be curious to see how he would respond to that as well.  We don't watch tv as a family though, only an occasional movie....not sure we would want to start if we didn't have to. 

 

Him wanting to be with people was the reason why I thought it would work so good for him to sleep in the same room with DD16.  His bed is right next to hers.  Literally, right next.  She can reach down and rub his back without leaving her bed. He is right there with someone.  And we haven't really had a sleep battle.  He stays in bed and so far I haven't worried overmuch how long it takes him to go to sleep.  Except for now I am.... because it is getting worse, not better.  

 

Honestly, changing sleep habits would be important enough to me to make a change, and at least try it. Something educational or what not even....Ken Burns documentary on the national parks, etc. Or Wild China, that's a good one. Or maybe even the radio, on NPR or something? I bet he got used to the noise while sleeping. 

[AnthemLights]

It is different in different places and situations. And even the exact person you would get as who would certify your home could deal with things differently than another exact person even in the same place and under the same law. In fact, if the exact person changed, you could find that what social worker  A asked for is now the opposite of what social worker B wants.  Ask me how I know :) .

 

Ha. That sounds frustrating.  I have wanted to foster pretty much all my life.  My husband was always way more hesitant, due to this reason.  He hated all the rules, all the hoops that you have to jump through.  Being at someone else's mercy.

 

Both states I dealt with though had written lists of the basic requirements, and I'd suggest if you see if that exists for where you are and if so, start there.  They specified things like a smoke detector  to be located in the child's room and another on each floor of the house, and a class ___ fire extinguisher for each floor of the house, and thus and such number of drawers for the child's use, and _______   say.  I started out by just following the list, so by the time someone came to look most things that they were going to be asking for were already done.

 

I have been looking online for a list like what you describe and so far haven't found one particular to our state.  The caseworker that was here left us his business card.  I am going to call him after the weekend and ask if he can provide me with some guidelines.  Although, it will likely be months before we are the stage where our "unofficial" will likely become "official".

 

But another thing is that if the social workers want it to work out they tend to help make that happen--I mean sort of get a "where there's a will there's a way" attitude. And there is at least a certain amount of rationality. 

 

The guy that was out seemed very much like this sort.  I am hoping that he will be really easy to work with.

 

If I had a 12 x 20 room and a child afraid of being alone, I'd probably set it up with enough beds and cribs for all 3 boys and in a way that it could be considered officially 2 rooms if need be.

 

My certifiers liked to see things like smoke alarms and fire extinguishers, and also, though I'd been worried about mess and dust bunnies, it turned out they preferred that to a too pristine look that would not be kid-friendly and kid-mess friendly.  We had some issues with windows, such as one certifier wanted a window barred off so a child could not fall out, and the next was horrified by that as being a danger in case of fire. Similarly, one jurisdiction wanted relatively cool hot water heater temps so children would not scald themselves, and another wanted it very hot so that laundry and dishes would be nearly sterile when washed in hot.

 

That's funny about the window.  :001_smile:    My DH and I had the exact same worries, going back and forth which one was more of a concern - the danger of falling or the danger of fire.  We haven't figured that one out yet.

 

I had a situation where I specifically enquired about putting a divider in a larger room (though had in mind using furniture to achieve the division) and was told that was okay, for that particular room, as I had described it, and for the particular child and as would be approved by the particular social worker.

 

A therapist's opinions can also make a difference--for example, if a therapist advises that a child needs to be in a room with others that can help, IME.

 

Thanks for relating your experience.  It's very helpful.  And bless you for doing what you are doing.   :thumbup1:

[AnthemLights]

Honestly, changing sleep habits would be important enough to me to make a change, and at least try it. Something educational or what not even....Ken Burns documentary on the national parks, etc. Or Wild China, that's a good one. Or maybe even the radio, on NPR or something? I bet he got used to the noise while sleeping. 

 

I've been doing that.  Either classical music or the Bible.  James Earl Jones has such a beautiful voice.   :001_smile:

 

Someone upthread suggested that music with more of a beat might work better.  Maybe I will give that a try.  My daughter's ipod should work for that.   :leaving:

[Guest]

One thing that might help is turning off all screens (tv, computer, phones, tablets) one hour before a consistent bedtime.

 

I don't have a magic bulket for you, and I know your situation is different from what most people have, but that was one piece of advice that helped both my aunt and me.

 

It's not the content, it's the way the screen amps up the brain.

[Pen]

Maybe something here will give you some ideas even if not for your own jurisdiction:

 

 

[PDF]  DFS Home Study Requirements for Prospective Foster Parents

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/homestudyreqs.pdf

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States that require foster care applicants to be at least age 21 are Arizona,. Arkansas, Colorado ..... 24 Colorado, Minnesota, New Hampshire, Ohio, Oregon, and Virginia. ..... Conduct a health and safety inspection of the applicant's home ...

[PDF]  foster home safety checklist - Families For Children

www.families4children.com/Home%20Safety%20Checklist.pdf

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1. Home: ... FOSTER HOME SAFETY CHECKLIST. GENERAL. _____ Telephone .... pads, elastic bandages/ace bandages, health care gloves, first aid guide.

[PDF]  Foster Home Inspection Checklist - Washington State Department of ...

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/sites/default/files/FSA/forms/.../10-183.pdf

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Foster Home Inspection Checklist. APPLICANT ... D = Discussed with foster parent ... Home has adequate laundry and drying facilities or makes other.

State of Oregon: I/DD FOSTER HOMES LICENSING - Children with ...

https://www. oregon.gov/...FOSTER-HOMES/.../CFH-Overview.aspx

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Child Foster Homes are single-family residences that offer 24-hour care in a ... Completeinspection of the home;; Make corrections as required on the initial ...

Foster Care Safety Checklist - Foster Parents Community and Online ...

www.fosterparents.com/articles/index52fcs.html

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This checklist is a guideline for those applying for or renewing their foster care ... By going through your home with this list prior to a home inspection or renewal, ...

What To Expect In The Foster Home Inspection Process

foster-adoptive-kinship-family-services-nj.org/expect-foster-home-inspection -process/

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Jun 30, 2014 ... You've talked it over with your loved ones and you've finally decided to do it. You want to become a foster, adoptive or kinship parent! You're ...

[PDF]  foster family home self-assessment guide - Community Care ...

ccld.ca.gov/res/pdf/FFHSelfAssessmentGuide.pdf

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This Foster Family Home checklist is designed to assist foster parents to comply with regulations and perform periodic self-inspections of their home.

[PDF] 

 

 

[Lori D.]

A weighted blanket? Here is another one.

 

And definitely black-out curtains.

 

DS#2 who struggled to fall asleep for hours after being put to bed definitely was helped by:

- an extremely dark room

- swimming (or other tiring physical activity)

- and no screens for several hours before going to bed (the monitor light and screen re-draws trigger brain activity such that the brain cells continue to fire for up to 2 hours after viewing the screen)

 

Definitely agreeing with previous posters about looking into diet and removing dyes, sugars, additives, or any food intolerance items (wheat, corn, and dairy are the big ones, but there are others).

 

:grouphug: Hugs, and hope you QUICKLY find a solution! 

Edited July 3, 2016 by Lori D.

[AnthemLights]

Lori, I was reading through those testimonials on the weighted blanket and nearly convinced myself that I need one.   :tongue_smilie:

 

They sound lovely.  

 

Thanks for the hugs.  Last night was actually pretty decent.  He slept from 11:00 until 7:00, although that might have to do with the fact that he only had 7 hours the night before and only a short nap in the car running errands.  He was exhausted and actually asked to go to bed.  Although, he has been that tired before and didn't fall asleep....so I don't know.  

 

I gave him melatonin around 9:00.  We'll see how tonight goes.  

[Lori D.]

Lori, I was reading through those testimonials on the weighted blanket and nearly convinced myself that I need one.   :tongue_smilie:

 

They sound lovely.  

 

Thanks for the hugs.  Last night was actually pretty decent.  He slept from 11:00 until 7:00, although that might have to do with the fact that he only had 7 hours the night before and only a short nap in the car running errands.  He was exhausted and actually asked to go to bed.  Although, he has been that tired before and didn't fall asleep....so I don't know.  

 

I gave him melatonin around 9:00.  We'll see how tonight goes.  

 

I know, I was thinking I needed one, too, they sound so very comforting… LOL!

 

Hope the melatonin does the trick! More  :grouphug:  … Having a child not sleep means you cannot sleep, and when that goes on for weeks and months, well, the whole family gets edgy and schitzy, to put it mildly…  :willy_nilly:  :eek: