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Hi all,

 

I've mentioned this before but DD is an avid aerialist (think cirque du soleil type of acrobat in the air), and she's been getting a fair bit more performance opportunities and recognition. 

 

She turns 12 in a few weeks, and I have no interest in turning her loose on social media for many reasons, including the laws that set the minimum age at 13. However, I have created some social media accounts for her performer persona that we (DH and I) moderate. 

 

I know several of you have kids working in very public areas (biologists, environmentalists, musicians, etc.) who have already navigated this path so I'd appreciate some advice.

 

At what point do you just accept that your kid has a public persona? How do you know when it's time to add to it? For example, I've been thinking about also creating a performer FB account for her too, but one of her instructors actually suggested a website. My initial reaction was--whoa...that feels "dance mommy" and really outside of my comfort zone.

 

But, DD wants to start using these skills for more volunteering, social circus type things. She would also love to have more performance opportunities. More training opportunities. I don't doubt that putting her more out there will open more doors for her. But, man, we're pretty private. I don't even use social media, and this is really hard on me. 

 

It's not about me, though, and I'm really struggling with finding the right balance here!

 

Thanks for any advice!

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I have no idea how social media works in a professional capacity, other than I find it REALLY annoying to hear about who is tweeting who on the news. I'd much rather put my time and efforts into professional marketing and linking with specific organizations, perhaps done by a parent or perhaps by a manager. I think intentional, controlled communications within the circus/performance community is great, but in social media I think there is far too many opportunities for weirdos to get in touch and get really annoying.  I think it would be a lot easier to gradually build exposure in a very controlled way, than go too open too quickly and then try and pull back.

 

Just my own thoughts, I have no experience in the current social media-crazy world.

 

All the best with your dd's adventures!

 

 

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Yea, so far the most social media I have for her is Instagram and a Gmail account. I don't even know how to use Twitter or anything else so slowboat is definitely the one we're on.

 

The challenge is that folks within the circus community aren't really the ones she really needs exposure to. She's well-known in our local community now. It's finding a way for her to be open/available to things like volunteer opportunities that many of the other professionals are not doing because this is their job so they need paying gigs. It's also a way for folks to tag her and recognize her when she is included in the professional gigs.

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I do not think a website is "dance mommy". If she is publicly performing, this seems a good way to curate what information you want to put out there. You can control the information more easily than on a facebook account, because so much activity on social media is linked and it is sometimes difficult to find and sever all connections you do not want. A static web page with the information you feel comfortable sharing would be my preference.

If she wants to obtain performance opportunities, a web presence in some form is essential, because that is where people go for information nowadays. You should make sure to include the most relevant search terms in your text, so that people who are looking for this kind of performer can find her.

A facebook page is convenient if you want to change and update information frequently, for example by keeping a public record of her past performances. Editing a web page would be more cumbersome than posting on fb.

Edited by regentrude
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If I'm looking for information about someone that I might want to hire for anything, I want to see a website. I do not want to scroll through facebook posts.

 

Just a simple website with abilities, performance history, awards, contact information, maybe a few pictures, perhaps a "what's new" section about what the performer is currently doing that would be of interest.

 

I don't have a kid in the public eye, but a very simple webpage doesn't seem "dance mommy" to me. You would be able to completely control a webpage. On fb other people can post things that you'd then have to worry about deleting.

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Switching to my full desktop for this one.

 

This was something I weighed back and forth, and got input from a friend who's child has been VERY public since about age 7.

 

First of all, she/you need to know why you're online and on social media. Some social media outlets are more focused on interpersonal communications and networking. Twitter and LinkedIn are both more interpersonal, with Twitter being less professional and LinkedIn more professional and networking focused. Blogs, Webpages, Tumblr, are more one way communication, for you to share with the public, but not necessarily get any direct communication back (and are therefore easier to control). Facebook can be either, depending on how you set up a page.

 

Until age 13, an adult needs to own the page and it needs to be stated on the page that this page is monitored and owned by an adult, not a kid. I spend about an hour every morning monitoring my DD's pages, and am not shy about blocking with impunity and deleting posts. I am also not shy about temporarily hiding someone if they're having a bad day on the more social side. I do not foresee stopping this job on DD's 13th birthday, but rather turning it over to her gradually. She does do most of the posting-most of my job is to sit back and moderate. DD is not allowed to have personal accounts or personal "Friends" on social media, and I limit the "friends" she is allowed to have for texting and iMessage pretty closely as well. Despite her involved public social media presence, she actually has less of a private social media/communications presence than most of the kids her age in our homeschool co-op.

 

In DD's case, she has kind of a two pronged approach.

 

Her first level is blogs-blogs are completely under our control. I own the account (on Blogspot), but she creates the content, which then spawns out to social media. Comments are all moderated before they're allowed to appear.

 

She has two blogs-one is her research blog, and came out of both my desire to have her write more and advice from one of her favorite science bloggers (who is one of the bloggers for Scientific American), which was, simply, to take the stuff that she found interesting in science journals, and make it accessible to her friends. That's where most of her school stuff is blogged, as well as anything from conferences, her own research, and anything else she finds interesting. It may be snakes one week, insects the next, and cool mathematical concepts after that.

 

Her second is her snake advocacy and outreach blog-this is under "My Little Python", and is where she posts comics and other materials she creates and locates just for kids. This is less closely linked with her, and her goal is actually to eventually be able to have this be an ongoing program, with other kids creating content for it and taking it over as she gets farther out of the key age group.

 

You can buy a domain name for your blog fairly inexpensively. We may do so eventually, but so far at least, most of her traffic to the blogs comes from social media pages and third party sites where people are just clicking on a link, so I'm not sure that it would benefit her all that much to be "mylittlepython.com" vs "mylittlepython.blogspot.com".

 

 

Next, Social Media. All Social media is under the "My Little Python" name-DD's real name doesn't appear anywhere. However, her content from both blogs appears on social media.

 

First, Facebook.

 FB pages are in the middle-they can be set up more tightly or more loosely.  DD has a FB page and a FB group, both for My Little Python.

 

DD's goal on the main FB page is to have a page that parents who have reptile/amphibian loving young kids can follow and have a carefully selected collection of screened pictures, links, cartoons, information about activities that may be interesting, and so on.  She follows pages that have good content and shares as appropriate.  Nothing appears on this page directly that wasn't posted by her and screened by me. Comments are moderated closely and anyone who steps even slightly out of line is blocked with impunity.

 

DD's goal on the sub page is for kids who want to do outreach, both those in our local community who participate in the monthly events she puts together, and those in other areas who want to do so there, can discuss. Because of the age of those kids, it really means their parents can discuss. I'm still a moderator (and also have a few other parents who are moderators as well) but for the most part, discussions flow as they will.

 

Next, Twitter-

 

Twitter is most useful for communications. While DD's content is posted there, for the most part, Twitter is where she networks with people doing work in biology in the field, and shares what she finds interesting. She's also been able to network with other webcomic artists, participate in meetings and "tweet-ups" and, basically, be seen as a professional.  She has more followers on twitter than on any other platform. I moderate twitter pretty closely, but have found it to actually be quite congenial. Having said that, I will hide accounts that are obviously personal ones, rather than professional ones, and will outright block anyone who posts anything that is more than PG-13 level.

Instagram-

 

I have to be honest-I don't like instagram. I hate the interface, I find the stuff posted banal and annoying, and I just plain don't like to use it. But there are really nice snake pictures on it, so we do have a MLP account (and I have a personal one) and follow it, and DD posts photos occasionally. However, honestly, her MLP instagram account gets used most for things like taking photos of Giant MIcrobes placed in various spots on the  UNR biology building and tagging the company in them (like a photo of the stuffed Blue Green Algae in a water quality study lab).

 

The ones I absolutely do not allow are Tumblr and Reddit. Tumblr has a lot of adult content and unlike Blogspot, does not flag such content (for blogspot, if a page has been identified as "adult", either by the original author, or reported as such, a confirmation page pops up before you can access it. For Tumblr, it just pops up.) Reddit just plain seems to get mean. I also do not allow SnapChat and similar "deletes in X amount of time" because, again, it gets mean fast.

 

She doesn't have a LinkedIn account yet because neither of us see the point, but if she were going for paying jobs, that might quickly become a useful tool.

 

 

DD has attended multiple social media management and science communication workshops, which have stressed the need to keep such pages and accounts polite, cordial, and professional. She has some awesome mentors and people she's in contact with in the field who have been great in that regard. Some of these have been at conferences, some have been online.

 

You can set up feeds between FB, Twitter, and blogs so information posted on on by you autoposts to the others. Be sparing to avoid redundancy and annoying your followers.

 

 

 

 

Edited by dmmetler
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I'd do a website over a Facebook page. Aesthetically it will look way better, and more professional. I really like square space, it's easy to design and looks like it was professionally done.

 

ETA: I don't have a child in the public eye, but I do have one that's musically inclined and loves the limelight, so I've given this thought.

Edited by Runningmom80
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Thanks, everyone who's responded so far! It really helps me to see how you interpret this.

 

DH and I both work in high tech so I'm familiar with all the options, just choose not to use them personally. We have a personal domain already, know how to set up a website, etc. 

 

I think the advice of knowing what we want to do with the different social media options particularly pertinent, and also knowing what's common in this domain. No one really uses twitter or LinkedIn, but Instagram and YouTube are huge. The blog idea is actually a possibly good option if DD had a specific scope in mind and not just blabber on about loving aerials. She's also doing her own make-up and costuming so she could share tips from that perspective too. 

 

Yes, Reddit, Tumblr, Snapchat are all quite firmly on my "do not use" list! 

 

Locally, many, many of these events are advertised only on FB, everyone tags each other, etc. DH and I are tired of being the ones tagged all the time! So, that's what made me start down the path of a FB page.

 

So many good ideas here--keep them coming!

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I think a big thing depends on what kind of media you're posting. In DD's case, a lot of her stuff is writing based with the occasional photo or video, and blogging works well. Even when she's giving a talk, it's still mostly words with the occasional picture.

 

If she were more a performer, I could see where Instagram and YouTube would be more helpful.

 

And if people are using FB, it's worth it to have a FB page just for tagging and sharing. One benefit I've seen of DD's organizational pages-people tend to add/tag that page, not my personal one, which is good. Another bonus is that while both sync to my outlook calendar, I can look at just my stuff vs just her stuff, or both, and overlay both with things like regularly scheduled classes. A lot of the university talks, etc are posted as FB events and may or may not ever make it on the departmental website. It's been nice having that coming to her calendar, not mine, so I can make judgement calls as to what we actually do.

 

 

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I have a son who does public performances. I purchased a domain name but I do not publish content on it. I did it as a way to reserve his domain name for him for later years. My son is under 10 years old and I do not want him in the public eye until he is 14 or 15. I have a youtube channel for him where I publish all his performances and use that as a way to curate and to look back on his performances. I only put his formal competitive performances there - I started doing this because the organizations that he was performing for were publishing videos of his performances and he was already searchable on google and youtube because of that. I block comments to the channel and he does not know that there is a channel for him yet. I also use his youtube channel to host his audition performances (this is a standard requirement these days) or if he is applying to participate in a masterclass etc. 

 

I don't like tweeting, instagramming etc. So, I do not have accounts on them for him. When he is older, I will develop a professional website for him and that would be where his "resume" and noteworthy performances would be.

Basically, what little social media content he has is parent controlled at this point.

 

In your case, since you are looking for volunteering opportunities, you might want to create a Facebook page for your DD (you can own that account and monitor it) and don't post any content on it except to put her profile there. That way she can get tagged for the events. 

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I am on vacation currently hiding in a coffee shop while my son manages his media via his iPad. I will type a more substancial response when I am at my desktop at home.

 

Currently Ds uses a media team to vet, promote, and distribute him on major platforms. This includes our legal team, which handles any of the various child internet laws. We did not start here, but they are completely my lifeline navigating the waters which Ds is currently at. As such, I can tell you the beginnings, but we switched over to me moving out and just into signing media releases, doing last vetting interviews, and prepping kiddo with lifeskills about two years ago when a reality TV director called. At that point it was incredibly clear I was majorly in over my head! Ds is currently 11.5. We let go of him being out of the public eye completely when we got that phone call. Before that, we were just in our current little regional bubble. When we let go, he really launched himself. It was a night and day difference. Be ready.

 

Ds is an environmentalist, but also does public speaking in schools about citizen's rights and lobbying in our state capitol for youth recognition. He considers himself a public speaker and motivational advocate. This means he needs a YouTube feed. He is working with kids. Kids do not blog. Kids do not Google. Kids YouTube. Kids stream with Kamcord. They also tweet and hashtag like crazy. I dislike both, but it is the reality. I would say this comes down to knowing your audience. He wants to reach kids, he has to use kid media. If you want to read adults, you have to use adult media (Facebook, blogs, LinkedIn).

 

What dmmetler said above is great. Mainly block comments through moderation. Do not let your child even near them. People are creepy, mean, and do not need access to your kid. Then put on your big girl pants, grab a quad mocha or a margarita, and you read them. Do not respond. Even if they are terrible and you want to rip their face off with words. Just block, delete, and go tale a shower. We are working in politics, so people are meaner, but in general do not even discuss comments unless you are out of the house away from your child.

 

We set up a separate email (which I monitor). His personal stuff is all under a handle. He has been directly instructed that I would shut everything down if he mixed the two. The separation is imparative. He got his own phone, his own business cards, his own Vimeo account, and basically established a landing place for inquiries to view him. At that point, legitimacy was established and soon, he built a presence.

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Wow, I'm in awe of all of you.

Your children are incredible and so inspiring, as are all of you for nurturing and guiding your children to these points in their lives/careers.

 

The things that impress me the most are the passion, commitment and confidence.

 

I also love the amazing variety of talents and passions here on this board. Truly inspiring.

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Definitely know your purpose.  If you're advertising, I agree a website is the most professional way to advertise, and if you're ready to have people contact you regarding gigs, I think that is fine.  If you're not, then wait, but grab the URL now as another poster suggested.

 

Facebook is for discussions.  I could see using it for announcements only of upcoming shows, but is that really useful?  Does she have a fan club?   Do you want her to have one?  I personally would not do a Facebook page.

 

If your child wants to influence other people, then you have to figure out which media site, and whether you're comfortable with it.    I totally agree with dmmetler and EndofOrdinary about monitoring it when a name or persona is attached.   I can also see saying "No way.  This is too much too early."

 

My biggest concern is that teenagers say things that are not the things we as adults might say, and I don't want my kid's 12 year old self  ruining his 25 year old self's reputation because the stuff remains on the internet for DECADES.    In fact, articles and letters I wrote to newspapers and things I said to reporters are currently online even though web pages were in their infancy at the time--part of my 20 year old self is out there for anyone wanting to see who I am when I apply for a job at age 50.  Think about that!   

 

If it's completely anonymous, then it's a question of how much you trust their judgement, but that doesn't sound like it's what she wants.  

Edited by tiuzzol2
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Sorry to be clear--my DD will have no direct access to any of this without my supervision. I'm 100% not okay with her being on social media at 12. She doesn't even have the account logins. I thought I made that clear initially that these are all managed by DH and me.

 

FB has a very specific use case in this community. Everyone tags each other at gigs, performances, trainings, etc. It's a very relationship-heavy community. The professional photographers tag people, everyone tags photos they see in reviews, online news stories, etc. Honestly, DD has been photopraphed and online and even things like Washington Post for years but not by name. Our names are associated with her, and I would rather her stage name be now as she is getting more active.

 

Instagram, YouTube, and FB are primary for sharing within community.

 

FB and website would be for out reach.

 

We are not bookings aerial gigs directly as we do not own our own rigging. So, the website is more as a performer page for the gig she works with to link to, etc. Next step she would like is to get volunteer gigs with stilting that don't need a rig.

Edited by deerforest
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I struggled with these questions early on. Dd (with her brothers) began doing music gigs very young and people would ask for a business card or if she was on YouTube so they could show [whoever]. They wanted to know where she was performing next. At first I did YouTube videos and kept a blog mainly for family who lived all over the country and as a sort of journal for myself.

 

I cannot remember when I finally created a webpage but the kids were still young maybe dd was 7 or 8? It was a free page except for purchasing the domain name and I put on some basic information....Bio, pictures, links to video, and schedule so local people would know where they were playing. I kept, and still keep, a separate hidden page with any info a venue needs for promotional purposes so once dd is hired I can send the link and the venue has access to downloadable materials to create posters or whatever. As dd has gotten more into the public eye, the webpage has included more information and when she put out a CD last year I purchased the option where people could buy the CD directly from the webpage.

 

I held out on a Facebook page until dd was 12 and even then, it was a "fan page." I post to the page and moderate everything (sometimes it's a little funny when young boys attempt to contact dd through the page and I type back "this is her fan page and I am her mother who keeps it up to date.") Initially I allowed the fan page because one camp she was involved with (which was for people 15yo and up so figured everyone had Facebook) sent all correspondence through Facebook...schedule for the day and important notices. It helps with promoting events and seeing where people we like to hear are performing.

 

Dd now has a personal page as well but it is for her "friends" and I keep an eye on what is going on there. She also has her own Instagram and Twitter which I allowed at 13. She has friends all over the world and she keeps in touch with the through these.

 

She started her own blog a few years ago and she posts about her musical adventures and does interviews with other musicians. She and her writing tutor have fun with that. Her interviews helped her get an offer from a fiddling magazine, who interviewed her for an article about her, for her to submit an articles written by her...the editor found out about her blog during the interview, liked her writing style, and asked her to do a specific topic. She has to wait for the topic event to happen then she will write and submit her article.

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Two of my kids had some public things going on, and had professional-looking websites set up.  On the websites, you could see necessary info:  current shows/projects, how to contact (they just used contact forms right on the site vs. giving out any personal contact info), past projects, and other relevant info.  Eventually they got business cards with their website listed on it plus a business email address, which they could give to people after an event, if asked.  As they got older, they added a phone number. 

 

They eventually started a Facebook page as well which linked to their professional website.

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

Just following up on this.

 

We have had the most success with her Instagram account, and I think she nearly passed out when a Cirque du Soleil aerialist liked one of her photos.

 

I made a performer FB page but have a ton to add to it, and we started a web page too.

 

She has so much going on right now so we are getting a lot of excellent new material. She is currently the only local performer on a particular apparatus and I think that will be a huge opportunity.

 

She has spent about 25 hours this week in aerial-related activities--classes, private lessons, teaching assistant, rehearsals, gigs! I am getting overwhelmed acting as her secretary.

 

But, she loves this so much. So, so much, and she is managing to still do her other activities and our rigorous school work. I'm honestly so incredibly proud of her and can't shout that out anywhere!

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