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What do you do when you are not busy?


lovinmyboys
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Our family has been really busy since Mother's Day weekend. The next few weeks are the least busy of our year. I started telling Dh some things I would like to do since we are not busy. He said if we do those things we will be busy and he doesn't want to be. I don't really get it. Is anyone not "busy." What do people do when they are not busy? What does being not busy mean to you?

 

Dh does work a full time job and a part time job and we have 4 boys ages 4-9, so we obviously aren't going to be doing literally nothing.

Edited by lovinmyboys
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Do you mean as a family? On a weekend?

 

Not busy here means on Fri night we make pizza and have friends over. Everyone who has worked hard all week gets a tiara. :D We make s'mores and let the kids stay up too late. Friends who drive spend the night, kids and all. There's wine and key lime pie.

 

Sat we would kick around the house - doing projects we want. Some together, some separate. Our last weekend like this we made a pallet planter. The kids would play - we regularly have 10ish kids over. If we're 'not busy' then they're here. It's fun.

 

Sat night the kids would watch a movie, and go to bed early (worn out from play), and DH and I hang on the deck and listen to frogs. There may or may not be wine.

 

Is that what you're asking?

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This last weekend was 'not busy'. Dh has been working 6-6.5 days a week for months, dd has been studying for exams and get social life has been flourishing - the result has been much fewer slow, at-home weekends. This weekend dh was home, exams were finished and I banned social events.

 

I accidentally slept in until 9:55 on Saturday after a bad night. After lunch we drove around and looked at some open houses as we're looking to buy soon. We stopped at a bakery for snacks. Then we went to the beach (winter here) where dh and ds fished from the pier while dd and I took a walk. We bought a round of 'real' hot chocolates and walked around the marina while drinking them. Home after that for dinner and TV.

 

Sunday we got take-out breakfast from McDonalds and ate that at home before heading to the zoo from 10-4pm. A quick 'team effort' grocery shop on the way home and an easy dinner, then tv and relaxing in bed.

 

That's an active fun weekend for us, but not 'busy'. Busy would imply activities outside the family to someone else's schedule. We wouldn't usually spend so much money on one weekend's entertainment but it was special to be 'not busy' for a change.

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Chiefly?

 

I get enough sleep.

 

I lengthen the enjoyable parts of the day.

 

If I am really open on time, I read books that have nothing to do with the minutiae of accounting or tax codes.

 

I try to protect my time so we are un-busy fairly often. Still with all the stuff the boys do and my studies and social stuff we like to do, it can get pretty busy around here at times.

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Not busy means I/we don't have anything formally planned -- there are no scheduled outings, appointments or other commitments on our calendar. Things around the house that HAVE to be done (like laundry, grocery shopping, lawn care) are well under control. There's time to chose what activities, if any, I/we want to do. When I'm not busy I read these boards or other boards, research topics I've been wanting to learn about but that aren't urgent matters, read, exercise, train/play with the dog or do projects around the house that I want to do but that don't necessarily have to be done. Sometimes I take a nap. :) 

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We do home projects, or rather, DH does home projects.  I need to be better with cleaning and organizing, but to me it is SO BORING!

 

But it is my goal to get some house things organized by the time school starts in the Fall.

 

We do some board games.  A lot of times we find social things to do in all different directions.

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Not busy means we have nothing scheduled that must be done. We still do stuff. Whenever time and weather permit, we hike.

A weekend spent just hanging around the house feels unfulfilling and does not appeal to us, nor did it work well when the kids were little. A nature outing of some kind, starting in the morning, sets the tone for enjoying a leisurely afternoon reading or puttering around the house.

I am not employed during the summer, and there is usually not much going on, so a lot of non-busy time. I enjoy doing a little bit of non-urgent work in preparation for the semester, write, read, cook for fun. For DS, being not busy means having time to write, play or to hang out with his friends and girlfriend.

Edited by regentrude
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I've never been a really busy person. I define it as having obligations such as outside events. I was busy when I worked outside the home. I was gone from 7:00 to 5:00 and had little time to do the things I wanted to do at home. One year when I was homeschooling, I was both a Sunday School teacher, an AWANA leader, and kids choir assistant. I was gone 3 days a week for those things. And of course homeschooling kept me busy, but not in a bad way because we were never strict with school. We took off when we wanted and had lots of fun. Now that my kids are all grown and I have no outside obligations at all, I'm not busy at all. I don't have hobbies per se. I watch tv/movies, play on my computer, and read. I've seen threads on this board about living meaningful lives and my life was described by someone saying such a life must be unfulfilling, but it's not bad. I'm quite content. I do miss my kids being little though.

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We usually try to do something outdoorsy or fun with the kids. Then we might come home, swim, and grill. Other times I might make a fancy dinner. The kids talk to their friends online or they have friends over and play video games while I read or come to these boards. I'm not a busy type, I know people who can run constantly but that's just not me. I love to see new things so we do that often, but I stay away from overscheduling.

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Not busy when the kids were smaller?  That would be go into Chicago and pick a museum day.  Or go see the local baseball team ( a whatdoyoucall it feeder team) play (for us, Kane County Cougars). Or hit a beach by the lake.  Or pack up a picnic and do a bike ride.  Or set up the tent in the backyard and Dad camps out with the kids (Mom has to stay inside to guard the house, yeah, right )   Or just veg out.

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Not busy here usually looks like grazing on lots of food, kids running around the yard or biking with friends, a small home project or two (not big ones or that would be busy,) chatting in our new gazebo, some board games, and maybe popcorn and a movie in the master bedroom.

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Chiefly?

 

I get enough sleep.

 

I lengthen the enjoyable parts of the day.

 

If I am really open on time, I read books that have nothing to do with the minutiae of accounting or tax codes.

 

I try to protect my time so we are un-busy fairly often. Still with all the stuff the boys do and my studies and social stuff we like to do, it can get pretty busy around here at times.

 

I had the same thought... What do I do when not busy?  Sleep a bit more!!

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A not-busy weekend means having no social commitments and no out-of-the-ordinary errands.  

 

Generally, it means we have no plans that are fixed.  Friday night, we might discuss what we'd like to do over the weekend- walk down to the lake, focus on making one-on-one time with either dad-kid or mom-kid getting priority, while the other parent takes on the rest of the group.  Maybe we will travel to a near-by location for a picnic...  but often times we are just home, the kids play with us and with neighbor kids, and we take naps if we want to.  :-)

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I agree with the 'not busy means no formal plans'.  Usually it means we go to the lake to swim, kayak, read and just relax. 

 

We only have two weekends this summer that we are not busy.  We're going camping, working the 4-H Fair, a big 60th birthday celebration (Dh's high school class), a lake party to celebrate the kids birthdays and dd's graduation.  Those two weekends I'm teaching Sunday School so they aren't completely free.

 

Dd is doing swim team at our lake which made the month of July very busy.

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I am a bit of a workaholic, and for the most part, I can't just sit around.  I also have financial insecurity for several reasons, several of which are out of my control.  So I tend to fill up my time with constructive activities, and that makes it so I am never not busy.  Even when I am taking a day to just go somewhere and do something fun, I am thinking about what I should be doing.

 

It's a problem, but I feel that I am in a trap, and for the next 5 years or so, I will continue to be that way.

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We are homebodies, I guess, and are often "not busy!" We like it that way. We all have things we work on in our free time. Dh often works on the guest house he's building, but he definitely has time for video games. We do stuff as a family or apart. We all enjoy our down time. Being over scheduled doesn't happen here.

 

I am chaperoning Cub Scout camp this week and the solid 8 hr days are quite an adjustment. It makes me really appreciate the flexibility I usually have in my schedule.

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With my personality, having things that "I should be doing" makes them not fun.

 

So even if I like the thing on the schedule, it becomes a chore if I Have to do it.

 

Lots of people prefer unstructured free time. I happen to be one of them.

 

So sceduling going to the zoo, the amusement park or a museum I'd probably classify as a chore. Sitting at home, sleeping late, getting up and going, "Hey lets go to the zoo!" would be fun.

 

Although most of the time, I hate leaving my cave.

 

But it's been so long since I've had time just for fun, I don't even know what it'd be anymore.

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We bought a house in December so a lot of our non-busy time is dedicated to working on bits and pieces. DH spends some of his non busy time working on the vehicles. Other than that, we spend time watching a movie with popcorn on some weekend evenings. In the summer we go over to my in laws as they have an in ground pool. In spring and fall we spend more time hiking as a family.

 

The last couple weeks have involved building more beds for my raised bed garden as I keep expanding, making a firewood storage area from pallets, repairing and recharging the vehicles' air conditioning, replaced lattice on the back deck, tore up and redid a landscaped area in the front, planted some grass seed... but all these things are our "non busy" fillers... I tend to function better if I am busy. So, when we aren't doing normal homeschool/chores/my college work... 

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I am a person who likes to be, if not "busy," then occupied. At the moment, we have one college student and two other adults living in the house. Between the three of us, we have five jobs (only one of which is full time) and an assortment of hobbies and obligations. So, there is usually something that I should be doing, and it's easy to just keep going. I'm trying really hard to force myself to actually slow down and rest sometimes, since the combination of getting older and working outside the house more has been leaving me pretty weary lately.

 

Today is the first day of my weekend, for example, and I have so far walked with the dog, taken care of feeding and cleaning up after her and the cat, driven my son to work, stopped by the bank, scheduled an appointment to get my car serviced tomorrow, made a quick grocery run, done a couple of loads of laundry and cooked big batches of seasoned black beans and taco rice for my husband to serve to his RPG buddies for tonight's dinner. Tonight, after I pick up my son and bring him home for the gaming session, I plan to attend a recital/fund-raising event for a young woman we know who is going to Tanglewood this summer. 

 

So, for the next three hours or so, I plan to eat some lunch, do a little more laundry, study for the CLEP exam I plan to take at the end of the summer and maybe take a nap.

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We used to be far less busy... we lived away from the ability to have extended family obligations and we rented so no house repairs beyond normal upkeep. We didn't remodel or change the landscape.

 

 

Now that our house is ours busy is constant. We are finishing the basement and putting in the landscape as well as making repairs and upkeep.

 

We schedule things to purposefully not do just work and no play. That would be horrible for the kids.

 

 

We do board games often. We do movie nights at least one night of the weekend or a fire and smores outside. We are going fishing this weekend and doing a picnic. A few times a month we head over to my parents and just visit and play cards or chat. We used to play ball or soccer but there are now enough kids that they can do their own impromptu games.

 

We hit the park or the splash pad.

 

My favorite is sending the kids in to watch a movie while DH and I sit outside at the picnic table.... ;)

 

I do not count gardening or landscaping in the hobby or spare time category. I've been spending so much time doing that lately that, while very satisfying, I refuse to call it fun....

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Alone:

Sit on the porch rocker, sip a refreshing drink of choice, and wave to people who happen to pass.

 

Play an online game or work a Suduko puzzle book.

 

Watch Anne of Green Gables for the 50th time. Includes crying when Matthew Cuthbert dies.

 

Read forums such as this one and respond to random posts.

 

Pull weeds.

 

Spend too long browsing at the used bookstore.

 

With hubby or family:

Take a long walk, including wading in the creek.

 

Play a card game or board game.

 

Read aloud a classic book or interesting biography.

 

Watch a family friendly show.

 

Make cookies or brownies together.

 

Go to the zoo or a park.

Edited by TX native
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"Not busy" to me means I have a lot of open time and don't have to hit the ground running. I LOVE a not-busy Sunday. I will spend a longer than average amount of time drinking my coffee or tea, sitting in the sunroom, reading or knitting or writing or on the computer (on here especially). Chiefly it happens when DH goes camping with the boys. I might go to church late service or go to a different church, or just stay home.

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When I'm not busy, I'm supposed to be busy, so I generally procrastinate until I get up the gumption to get busy again.  :)

 

Maybe someday I will get caught up.  And then, I think I will sleep until my work piles up again.  :)

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