How much discussion do you allow during read alouds?

[nature girl]

I want to encourage discussion about the books we read, I want to go deeper into stories (at least as deep as a 6 year old can go, but she's a deep thinker in general so we've had great discussions.) But...

 

...I hate being interrupted in the middle of the story. It breaks the flow, we lose our place, and it's hard to get that flow back again. We were reading The Night Fairy this afternoon, and Anna was reading how Flory (the fairy) cut a dangerous spider that she'd trapped loose. She read this and shrieked, "How can she trust him? Why is she letting him go!" Which was a pretty rich point for discussion, about how Flory was changing throughout the story, what she was beginning to feel about herself and the other animals. I didn't want her to lose that question, but...we were in the middle of a chapter.

 

How much of an interruption do you allow? Do you make them wait till the end of the chapter (and then potentially lose the question or not care as much about it now that the issue they wanted to talk about may be resolved?) Do you set rules for this?

 

(We did stop to talk about how Flory was changing, because it was a good discussion point. But DD can interrupt me every minute or two, sometimes just to ask the meaning of a word, sometimes to talk about the story, sometimes to talk about something only tangentially related to the story. (She has ADHD, so who knows how many sidesteps her mind is taking as we read.) I don't want to discourage her, but it can be a bit much.

[EKT]

We love The Night Fairy!

 

These are our read aloud "rules":

 

• If you need me to define a word or otherwise explain something so you can understand the story, you can politely interrupt me while I'm reading, e.g. "Excuse me, Mama, but what is a ____?" (But usually, I can anticipate the vocabulary that will be new to them, and I just offer a synonym as I read, to avoid the interruption in the first place.) 
• If you have another idea or question that is relevant to the story, you may put your hand on my arm. I will then put my hand on top of my child's hand as a way to say, "Hang on just a second; I know you have something to say." We stay like that (my hand on her hand) until I come to a logical stopping point (the end of a paragraph, etc.), at which point I will take the question. Then I might say something like, "That is a great point! Let's discuss it further at the end of the chapter!" (Since the child has said their idea, they know it won't be forgotten and that we'll discuss it at the end of the chapter.)

So basically, I only allow talking if it is related to the story, and even then I make them wait to speak until we can get to a logical stopping point. But generally, my kids know the drill of read alouds and interruptions aren't much of a problem.

[KSinNS]

In general, I don't discourage interruptions because it means the kids are engaged in the text, which is the goal. Ido ignore D when he asks a question being answered in the next line of the book. Which he does about every third sentence. But they now know that if I don't answer, that the answer is forthcoming. If it is worth discussing, we stop and discuss. I quickly define vocabulary and continue. Sometimes after the fiftieth interruption or so, I will tell D to stop, or if his interruptions are not relevant. Gotta love ADD.

[Farrar]

I also struggle with this. I don't have hard and fast rules. If the interruptions are clearly asides or super tangential, I cut it off and them them they have to save it for later. If there are a ton of interruptions in a row, I tell them they have interesting thoughts and questions, but they're losing the flow of the story and it's driving me crazy. But for some interruptions, I try to be patient. We're reading The Well of Sacrifice right now. Ds interrupted a bunch of times last night to ask a million questions - especially about the characters' motivations and the massive cultural differences (the book is about the ancient Mayans). While I was annoyed in some ways, I sucked it up and I'm glad I did because we had an interesting discussion. And really, when they get to be older like my kids, that's a huge part of the point in continuing to read aloud.

[Guest]

As much as doesn't get on my nerves.

 

So, like, once.

[wendyroo]

No more than once per sentence per child.  

I have to draw the line somewhere, and with my motley crew even that is sometimes beyond their self control.   :lol:

 

Wendy

[MerryAtHope]

I kind of played it by ear. With regard to vocab, I too tried to anticipate words they might not know, and I would restate it as I read (the way books for kids often do--so they hear the word and they also hear it described in the restatement). I did allow some interruptions for discussion, but if it got to be a lot, I'd say, "Okay, now let's finish the chapter and then we can discuss it more." So, rather than a rule, it was more just getting them back on track for that night. After awhile though, they seemed to catch on with what's appropriate. 

 

I love how your daughter responded though--she was obviously caught up in the story & that was definitely a good discussion at that point! 

[quietchapel]

None until I've finished reading.

[PeterPan]

Book Darts - Book Darts

[wintermom]

I love the discussions during read-alouds, and I'm the one interrupting myself the most. ;)  I really like taking advantage of the opportunity to talk about the issues that pop up in the wonderful books we read together. I don't wait until the end of a paragraph, but strop right away. It doesn't take a lot longer to get through books, but the things we talk about are really interesting, too. 

 

If my dc were listening carefully enough and cared enough to want to know the meaning of many words in a story, I'd stop and define them. If they wanted to talk about the story, I'd stop and we'd talk. This is the back-and-forth interaction that is the most exciting for me in homeschooling. For some books, such as Eagle in the Ninth, we had many, many stops to look up expressions, historical items, Latin words, geographical locations, maps, images on the computer, etc. It was an amazing learning experience.

 

The only interruptions that I find annoying are the noises that are not related to the story at all.

 

Audio books are great for uninterrupted stories. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

No more than once per sentence per child.  

I have to draw the line somewhere, and with my motley crew even that is sometimes beyond their self control.   :lol:

 

Wendy

 

 

 

:lol:  "It's only a season of my life, it won't be like this forever..." or so I tell myself, so that I don't run screaming from the house!  

 

This has become a bit of a bad habit for one of my kids.  Her most common question is usually something along the lines of "what is going to happen to so-and-so?" which she will find out exactly one sentence later if she can just keep her mouth shut!  It drives me nuts!  It's on my list for character development to work on this this upcoming school year!  lol.  

[OneStepAtATime]

OP, maybe you could have 3-5 "tickets" she can hold. When she has a question or wants to discuss something she turns in a ticket.  Then you can stop and discuss or clarify or whatever before moving on.  

 

I tend to let discussion happen as the story flows along but DD doesn't interrupt much, just when she needs clarification for something or has a question.  She usually shares her thoughts afterwards.  

 

DS on the other hand has zillions of thoughts flowing through his head at any given time so he tends to interrupt a lot.  Tickets keep him focused more since he doesn't want to blow his tickets on stuff he doesn't really care about and then has no tickets left when he really wants to discuss something.

 

I also agree with someone up thread that I frequently add in synonyms and sometimes additional context on the fly if I know we are hitting a word/concept that the child may not be fully familiar with so we have fewer interruptions regarding vocabulary.

 

 

[J-rap]

That's interesting...  in all the years that we read out loud to our kids, I don't remember that coming up as a problem.  Maybe they weren't even paying attention??

 

 

[Seeking Squirrels]

If it's unrelated to the story, then I tell them that can wait and move on. They've mostly caught on that we don't stop for random discussions. If it's vocab, I usually anticipate what they may not know and I either add in the definition on the fly, or else interrupt us myself to ask if they know what that means. Same thing if it's a figure of speech or any other element they may need to discuss a bit in order to fully follow the story. If I don't notice and they ask, we stop and discuss. 

 

We don't get a lot of storyline interruptions, but honestly I will welcome them when they come. She has a speech delay we were completely unaware of because she talks really well. But she doesn't ask plot questions, doesn't respond to my promptings on plot discussion, and is unable to narrate. She's in speech therapy now so I look forward to the day she interrupts me to have a discussion on part of the plot. 

 

I do sometimes get interrupted for very simple "just wait one more sentence" type things which I usually just push through the next sentence as answer or tell them "Let's read a little more and find out". Usually this is for very basic stuff "She didn't want to get out of bed...." "Why not?" "....because her bed was so cozy..." kind of thing. This is the 3 year old much more than my older, though. 

 

Our big problem is distraction with whatever they are quietly doing on the floor while I read and they begin talking to each other. They'll whisper as though that makes it better. Now I just stop reading and look at them til they realize and sheepishly stop so I can go on. This has a better effect than telling them to stop or getting on to them. 

[Tracy]

I am really surprised at how many people have rules about this.  I always ask myself, "Is my goal to get through the book, or is my goal to build up my children?"  Now, I do not tolerate much in the way of irrelevant comments.  But any amount of relevant questions or comments are completely welcome in my home, even if that means that we stop in the middle of the chapter, . . . even if we stop several times in the middle of the same chapter. When they ask questions, I often respond by asking them what they think.  This approach builds their critical thinking skills and their vocabulary (since they can ask about any word they don't know without having to wait).  But most importantly, it builds our relationship, since reading is not something I do to them, but rather, reading is a foundation for spending time together.  

 

Yes, there are times that I weary of my talkative child's interruptions.  But when I feel that way, I ponder the reason that we are doing this.  And I see the benefit now as she is getting older and having to deal with the trials of growing up.  She has learned that I value what she has to say, and as a result, she comes to me with everything she is dealing with.  

[fdrinca]

I am really surprised at how many people have rules about this.  I always ask myself, "Is my goal to get through the book, or is my goal to build up my children?"  Now, I do not tolerate much in the way of irrelevant comments.  But any amount of relevant questions or comments are completely welcome in my home, even if that means that we stop in the middle of the chapter, . . . even if we stop several times in the middle of the same chapter. When they ask questions, I often respond by asking them what they think.  This approach builds their critical thinking skills and their vocabulary (since they can ask about any word they don't know without having to wait).  But most importantly, it builds our relationship, since reading is not something I do to them, but rather, reading is a foundation for spending time together.  

 

Yes, there are times that I weary of my talkative child's interruptions.  But when I feel that way, I ponder the reason that we are doing this.  And I see the benefit now as she is getting older and having to deal with the trials of growing up.  She has learned that I value what she has to say, and as a result, she comes to me with everything she is dealing with.  

 

I love this in theory.

 

In practice, I have three children who would like to have an ongoing dialogue about all read alouds. Sometimes, there are four children talking. Sometimes I read the same paragraph 5 times because they're all asking/talking/offering. This can distract my ASD kiddo to the point he's finished with read aloud time. 

 

Some strategies that work for us:

1. Letting the children do something else as we read aloud: modeling beeswax, drawing, jumping on the trampoline. Sometimes, their interruptions are from extra energy and not because they want to have a conversation.

2. Breaking reading into smaller bites: a bit after breakfast, a bit at lunch, more in the afternoon, and before bed. We can have conversations after the smaller bites.

3. Running when we have momentum: if they'r engaged, we just keep reading until my voice gives out. 

4. Narrating before we start reading or after we finish: this way, they know conversation is built into read-aloud time, and they can save some comments for that time.

5. Breaking myself during read aloud time to ask questions myself. Modelling thoughtful discussion questions. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I am really surprised at how many people have rules about this.  I always ask myself, "Is my goal to get through the book, or is my goal to build up my children?"  Now, I do not tolerate much in the way of irrelevant comments.  But any amount of relevant questions or comments are completely welcome in my home, even if that means that we stop in the middle of the chapter, . . . even if we stop several times in the middle of the same chapter. When they ask questions, I often respond by asking them what they think.  This approach builds their critical thinking skills and their vocabulary (since they can ask about any word they don't know without having to wait).  But most importantly, it builds our relationship, since reading is not something I do to them, but rather, reading is a foundation for spending time together.  

 

Yes, there are times that I weary of my talkative child's interruptions.  But when I feel that way, I ponder the reason that we are doing this.  And I see the benefit now as she is getting older and having to deal with the trials of growing up.  She has learned that I value what she has to say, and as a result, she comes to me with everything she is dealing with.  

 

I think you're setting up some false dichotomies here:  EITHER I get through my book OR I build up my children.  EITHER I allow any and all discussion at any time, OR my child will not talk to me about her issues in life.  

 

I don't mind regular interruptions throughout a chapter.  I mind kids stopping me in mid-sentence to ask me questions that would have been answered if they'd waited until I got to the end of the sentence!!!  For me, a question or more per paragraph even would be fine, if they come at the end of the paragraph.  

 

As parents, we all have different goals for different kids during different stages.  For my interruptor, one real goal for read-alouds is to learn patience.  Patience with the pace of the book itself and patience to save questions until I pause between paragraphs.  Personally, I think this is common courtesy, and therefore something I want to teach in my home.  I do not believe, even for one second, that requiring this of my kiddo is going to damage our relationship or her ability to talk to me, or even our ability to have interesting conversations about what we are reading.  

 

Maybe the kid you are reading to is not as disruptive as some of the kids of those posting "rules" in this thread.  If so, be thankful.   :lol:   

 

Sorry, I don't mean any offense by contradicting you, but I think that setting in place some basic read-aloud rules is no more going to affect a child's relationship with parents or books than setting some basic table manner rules would do.  

 

 

 

I love this in theory.

 

In practice, I have three children who would like to have an ongoing dialogue about all read alouds. Sometimes, there are four children talking. Sometimes I read the same paragraph 5 times because they're all asking/talking/offering. This can distract my ASD kiddo to the point he's finished with read aloud time. 

 

Some strategies that work for us:

1. Letting the children do something else as we read aloud: modeling beeswax, drawing, jumping on the trampoline. Sometimes, their interruptions are from extra energy and not because they want to have a conversation.

2. Breaking reading into smaller bites: a bit after breakfast, a bit at lunch, more in the afternoon, and before bed. We can have conversations after the smaller bites.

3. Running when we have momentum: if they'r engaged, we just keep reading until my voice gives out. 

4. Narrating before we start reading or after we finish: this way, they know conversation is built into read-aloud time, and they can save some comments for that time.

5. Breaking myself during read aloud time to ask questions myself. Modelling thoughtful discussion questions. 

 

 

 

:iagree:  and these are some great tips.  Having a younger-than-middle/high-school kid wait through a whole chapter is probably too long.  I would say allowing questions after each full paragraph is reasonable in elementary school.  Something as simple as glancing up from the page and making eye contact with the kids would be enough to signal question time is open, and if no one has one, it does not interrupt the flow and you can dive right back into the story after.  

[HS Mom in NC]

We rarely discuss during at that level.  We discuss it right after the reading at that stage.  Nothing is so meaty in our elementary read alouds that we have to stop regularly and address it.   If something very unusual comes up that demands some sort of explanation in order to move on we stop and address it briefly.  We often discuss things during dinner too. I don't pause movies we watch and discuss things at that level either.

I'm very opposed to the idea of spoon feeding children and granting immediate gratification all the time.   Often what a child is asking about will be answered if we continue on.  There's actually value in a child wondering about something and mentally chewing on it for a while and working it our for themselves instead of immediately addressing it the moment a thought pops into their heads.  They can hold onto some thoughts for a little while until the reading is done. They do.

Meatier, weightier things at more advanced levels require more immediate discussion. More advanced readings often build up a series of ideas to conclusion or principle, so making sure the foundation is solid as you build up matters more.

[raptor_dad]

For fiction, I try to limit interruption to section breaks and will often stop if either I have points to ask about or if the kids do. Otherwise, I try to limit interruptions.

 

For nonfiction, frequent interruptions are expected. I usually have a separate nonfiction read aloud going for DS9. It is usually history or science. The last 2 have been "A Briefer History of Time" and "A Short History of Nearly Everything". Reading nonfiction tends to be very discursive. I always keep pencils, paper, and crayons beside the bed/couch so I can sketch out better or more complete explanations. I'm not averse to grabbing other books to illustrate or clarify my point or answer DS's questions. For us, the whole point of these "big idea" read alouds is to explore the ideas so following rabbit trails is the goal. 

[Guest]

I am really surprised at how many people have rules about this.  I always ask myself, "Is my goal to get through the book, or is my goal to build up my children?"  Now, I do not tolerate much in the way of irrelevant comments.  But any amount of relevant questions or comments are completely welcome in my home, even if that means that we stop in the middle of the chapter, . . . even if we stop several times in the middle of the same chapter. When they ask questions, I often respond by asking them what they think.  This approach builds their critical thinking skills and their vocabulary (since they can ask about any word they don't know without having to wait).  But most importantly, it builds our relationship, since reading is not something I do to them, but rather, reading is a foundation for spending time together.  

 

Yes, there are times that I weary of my talkative child's interruptions.  But when I feel that way, I ponder the reason that we are doing this.  And I see the benefit now as she is getting older and having to deal with the trials of growing up.  She has learned that I value what she has to say, and as a result, she comes to me with everything she is dealing with.  

 

1--Sometimes the child needs to learn to get through the reading, and that is informative (build-y up-y) for the child. Depends on the child.

2--I think you underestimate some children's ability to sneak in irrelevancy in the sheep's clothing of relevancy.

3--You've combined two things with throwing back questions "well what do YOU think?" and answering questions "define vocab".

4--having rules about interruptions--by definition interuptive--does not relegate you to the sidelines of your child's life.

5--i.e. there is almost nothing that can't wait until a natural pause in reading.

 

IOW what's so surprising about not wanting to be interrupted and not wanting to inculcate the habit of interrupting in one's children?

[LindaOz]

I am really surprised at how many people have rules about this. I always ask myself, "Is my goal to get through the book, or is my goal to build up my children?" Now, I do not tolerate much in the way of irrelevant comments. But any amount of relevant questions or comments are completely welcome in my home, even if that means that we stop in the middle of the chapter, . . . even if we stop several times in the middle of the same chapter. When they ask questions, I often respond by asking them what they think. This approach builds their critical thinking skills and their vocabulary (since they can ask about any word they don't know without having to wait). But most importantly, it builds our relationship, since reading is not something I do to them, but rather, reading is a foundation for spending time together.

 

Yes, there are times that I weary of my talkative child's interruptions. But when I feel that way, I ponder the reason that we are doing this. And I see the benefit now as she is getting older and having to deal with the trials of growing up. She has learned that I value what she has to say, and as a result, she comes to me with everything she is dealing with.

Yes. Yes. And triple Yes. Even my 17yo was doing this yesterday as we read because she was engaged and inspired by the concepts being read. Boy oh boy...that stuff is priceless. How could I ever shut that down???

Edited June 29, 2016 by LindaOz

[vaquitita]

With four kids, there have to be some rules or we'd never find out what happens. Lol. Anything unrelated to he book, I say I'll answer when we're done. Anything related to the story, they raise their hands. Which I acknowledge with my hand, but keep reading till the end of that sentence or paragraph, just depending on the book or how close I am to the end of the paragraph, and the age of the child. Then they ask the question and I answer or discuss. Repeatedly having to reread a sentence because I couldn get through it drove me nuts. They can hold their thought till I finish the sentence. Sometimes they blurt out a vocab question, which I usually just give a one word synonym and continue. At the end of the paragraph we might discuss it further. If it's a hard to define word, then I follow the same procedure as for questions.

[Joker]

We never had rules and encouraged discussion. I remember it took dh forever to get through many books. The longest ones seemed to be Animal Farm, Watership Down, and Romeo and Juliet. There were nights that he would read for an hour or more and only get through a few pages. All questions and dialogue were related to the stories being read and both dh and the girls still remember some of those discussions. Now, at 17 and 14, they read all books on their own but they still love to hash them out with us. 

[nature girl]

It's so interesting to see the different philosophies...I understand what you're saying Tracy and Linda, but really many of my daughter's interjections are either irrelevant (yesterday while reading The Light Princess, "Oh remember when WE went on a boat?!") or will be answered if we read on. Of course if she raises interesting points we can stop and discuss, though. And I'll often interrupt the story myself to discuss or ask what she thinks is going to happen. (And I do define words I think she won't know. I actually have been showing her those words in the story so she can read them herself, because I think vocab sinks in much better when you can see how a word is spelled, rather than just hearing it.) So it's not that I'm completely against interruptions and demand silence, it's just that when there are several interruptions per page, we just don't get swallowed up inside the story world, you know? So it's not as enjoyable.

 

I love the idea of having her place a hand on my arm or raise her hand, though. I'm definitely going to try that! It might actually help to train her not to interrupt regular conversation, which is still a huge issue for her. (We do the hand on my arm for that, but it's more that she puts a hand on my arm while I'm talking, jiggles up and down on her toes for ten seconds and then still blurts out whatever she was going to say anyway.)

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I see this as similar to watching a movie.  I think this is a matter of personal taste, but I just can't stand interruptions in a movie.  Drives me crazy.  As Anna said above, there comes a point where the interruptions are so disruptive to the story flow that, as the reader, I just want to give up!  

 

But there may be families out there where pausing a movie every 12 seconds is simply part of the movie-watching-family-culture, and as long as everyone is happy, that would be fine.  It's not like there is a RIGHT ANSWER to the interruption question, but obviously different readers and different families have different preferences.  

 

What I dislike in this discussion is the implication that not allowing interruptions or limiting them to a set of rules in somehow damaging a kid's love for books, for learning, for imagination, or even damaging their relationship with a parent.  That's simply untrue.  No one here is advocating for an absolutely silent room, where children must sit on their hands and not wiggle their legs, and never look away from the "teacher".  All any of us rule-setters are saying is that we don't like being interrupted and have come up with some ways to limit it, while still engaging in discussion.  

[luuknam]

I see this as similar to watching a movie.  I think this is a matter of personal taste, but I just can't stand interruptions in a movie.  Drives me crazy.  As Anna said above, there comes a point where the interruptions are so disruptive to the story flow that, as the reader, I just want to give up!  

 

But there may be families out there where pausing a movie every 12 seconds is simply part of the movie-watching-family-culture, and as long as everyone is happy, that would be fine.

 

LOL, we're not quite that bad, but movies often take twice (or more) as long as the box says they take. That was pre-kids. Now they actually take less time, I think, because the kids often want to see what happens next, rather than listen to mommy and daddy go off on a tangent that may be way over their heads.

 

Wrt read alouds, I don't have any rules, but I do sometimes say "enough, time to be quiet so we can actually read the story". I think that when you've got more than one kid, especially if they're not super-close in age, you're more likely to need to come up with rules or just telling them to be quiet now. I've got a 5.5yo and an almost 9yo. Read alouds are likely to be either over the head of one, or too boring for the other. We finished D'Aulaire's Greek Myths a couple of weeks ago, and some of it was definitely over my 5.5yo's head. He listened to probably half the stories and went and did something else during the other ones. I did allow some questions, but when he'd ask multiple questions per sentence (often of the "what will happen (answered later in story)" kind, or the "remember when we went on a boat too" kind a PP mentioned), it was "listen, or go do something else". I did preempt some of the "what does this word mean" questions too by defining a word right after reading it.

 

Which is to say, that sometimes, if a kid asks too many questions, the book may not be a good match for the kid.

[MerryAtHope]

Yes. Yes. And triple Yes. Even my 17yo was doing this yesterday as we read because she was engaged and inspired by the concepts being read. Boy oh boy...that stuff is priceless. How could I ever shut that down???

I don't think any (or at least not most) of the people who do have guidelines are shutting down engaged and inspired comments. I think there's a miscommunication going on in this thread :-).

[HS Mom in NC]

I think whether you're philosophically inclined to a child centered home vs. a child friendly home will probably be the most influential factor in where you come down on whether or not to limit interruptions.

Yes, it's a case of dramatic all or nothing thinking to equate having a child wait a little while to express their thoughts with "shutting them down."

[LindaOz]

I don't think any (or at least not most) of the people who do have guidelines are shutting down engaged and inspired comments. I think there's a miscommunication going on in this thread :-).

Ok. Sorry. I actually didn't mean to imply that others were shutting down their kids' inspired insights and not allowing any discussion at all. I guess we all approach things differently and I was reacting more from a personal perspective about a child that I am so thankful still wants to read with us. Sorry to come across as critical of others.

[MerryAtHope]

Ok. Sorry. I actually didn't mean to imply that others were shutting down their kids' inspired insights and not allowing any discussion at all. I guess we all approach things differently and I was reacting more from a personal perspective about a child that I am so thankful still wants to read with us. Sorry to come across as critical of others.

 

Not a problem! (And I still read to my 17 yo too! I read to my kids throughout high school--I agree, so thankful!)

[lanalouwho]

I let my boys interrupt. Oldest is only 5 and I also have a 2 year old. If the question is relevant to the story we talk about it. If not, I tell him to wait until we are done. I do find the interruptions annoying, but I figure at this age they are going to happen. At least I know they are listening.

 

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[lanalouwho]

Oh, and I also encourage the 'remember when we did that too' comments because it helps him build connections and relate to the story.

 

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