................... Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 (edited) You know, to me grades 5-6 and even 7 are the hardest to homeschool in some ways as the kids transition from social learning to more independent learning, solidify all their spelling and handwriting and shore up their spelling skills and learn to type all the while starting puberty, and keeping up with the momentum in math, and trying to find their niche among their friends and activities. Honestly, it's just not my favorite. Edited June 26, 2016 by Calming Tea 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 You don't have to transition away from social learning if you don't want to. Just saying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I am on my 3rd middle schooler. I honestly think some of the reason I was so keen for mine to try high school was because of how narrowly we survived the middle school years. It is just horrible. I can't imagine how teachers in b&m schools deal with all that with hundreds of students. I have 1 more year of middle school with my 3rd child then I get a reprieve for a few years. I plan to savor the non-middle school years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 27, 2016 Author Share Posted June 27, 2016 I mean I don't want my little girl to grow up, and I treasure so many things about this sweet age, but from a schooling standpoint it's really hard; on her, on me... And yes I really have to hand it to B&m teachers who teach middle school! They must be saints 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Since you ladies have the wisdom of experience, do you think there is anything those of us with soon to be middle schoolers should know? Anything in hindsight you would have done differently? Or just recommendations on how you survived would be nice. :) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Ah! Not what I want to hear. I start 5th grade with my oldest this fall. I'd love to hear tips and advice as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I'm really just beginning this with my oldest going into 7th and 3 more behind him. I'm finding that I like it so far, but that could be because of my ds. He has always been independent and likes it when I let him run with things. He's really stepping out in his extracurriculars and searching for his place socially. It hasn't been easy, but it does help me look forward to his adult years (which I will fight tooth and nail) and shows me he'll be okay. My other 3 are SO different so I could be singing a different song next summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deerforest Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 (edited) My DD is a 7th grader in the fall, and I have to admit that I've enjoyed teaching these middle grades much more than elementary. She's had tremendous growth in all areas, and she has her own unique perspectives to share with our discussions. I just have one, and she is a social learner so we still work together a lot, and it's mostly a lot of fun. Yes, we have some hormonal-driven distractions and other things, but I'd happily teach 5-8 over K-4 any day! Edited June 27, 2016 by deerforest 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 27, 2016 Author Share Posted June 27, 2016 my advice would be not to Molly coddle too much. You need an independent 9th grader. Not just in academics but in transportation, (when possible walking or biking- even taking public if that's an option where you live), doing their own laundry, doing their chores without being asked etc. in academics if they aren't almost completely Independent by 8th grade you can really have a problem on your hands. You have to do it gently and gradually just like anything else and they need discussion, input and need to hear your thoughts and shRe their learning with you (otherwise what would be the point of homeschooling?) but the idea is that you have to get them to the point where they drive their day. That's a tough balance for a little human who is also going through puberty and finding their place among friends and activities etc. Lots of hugs and time outs for kids and mom when things escalate. :) :) they need a lot of hugs and reassurance. Some kids are easier than others :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Ah! Not what I want to hear. I start 5th grade with my oldest this fall. I'd love to hear tips and advice as well. I think like with anything, it depends on the child--and to some extent the mom. I don't mind the "terrible twos" at all but I absolutely abhor potty training! A friend of mine has kids who go through a lot of changes when they turn 13 and she dislikes that year--we didn't have the same challenges at that age, but found other challenges along the way, etc... I try to enjoy each new age and stage. It really is a blessing to be able to spend this time with our children. I actually found high school more difficult--middle school was like a "sweet spot" for us with regard to homeschooling. It's less time-intensive than the beginning years which required so much of my one-on-one time with the kids, and less academically rigorous than high school (when there's a difficulty or question in a high school science or math, I can't just come up with an answer on the spot--I need to study, figure out what the curriculum is trying to teach and then how to teach it to my student if they aren't getting it on their own, papers may require more thought and input for revising, they are longer, discussions are more involved, etc...) We used workboxes which really helped my kids move towards independence and working without constant prodding. I think a big thing that makes those tween years go easier is to realize that your child is changing and your parenting and teaching methods need to also. They want you to recognize that they are becoming more mature in their thought patterns (not that you necessarily see the maturity all the time--but it's happening inside, and when a parent misses it, a child can interpret it as disrespect and respond in kind). That might mean starting to have them tell you how they would like to approach something, and you affirming or tweaking the plan--rather than you just saying how to do it like they are still 6 or 8. They still need lots of guidance and boundaries--and may still need teaching help, depending on the student--but the methods need to affirm that you see they are growing and changing. Love and humility go a long way though! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Fifth grade was good, sixth grade was great, and I'm really looking forward to seventh and eighth. Put me in the group that likes teaching middle school much, much better than elementary. I like having kids that want to discuss things and even argue with me. We have our moments for sure, and we have days when I swear you can see the neurons misfiring all over the place, but I actually find myself relaxing and having more fun now than we had in K-4. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in OK Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I'm getting ready to school a boy through middle school after three girls. I'm scared. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 We are *only* homeschooling middle school..I'm coming up on my gap years ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) First, :grouphug: Calming Tea :grouphug: , and allowing this to be a "JAWM" moment! :grouphug: I mean I don't want my little girl to grow up, and I treasure so many things about this sweet age, but from a schooling standpoint it's really hard; on her, on me... Just to encourage you; the elementary ages are a sweet age, but there are some wonderful things to grow into *together* in the middle school years -- think of the wonderful studies Chrysalis Academy has done for the past 3 years *with* her oldest DD in 6th, 7th and 8th grades. :) And this thread has more encouragement about what to look forward to as DD grows into a new stage: "Once your child hits middle school, does this mean all the "fun" stuff stops?" I think like with anything, it depends on the child--and to some extent the mom. Totally agree. :) I think it just happened that our situation was front-loaded with all the difficulties, and the last half carried the majority of the fun. ;) Our DSs (1 grade apart) were extremely difficult babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers each for very different reasons. And DS#2 had mild LDs + attitude, so homeschooling was ROUGH up through 4th grade; 5th grade he turned a corner, and so the middle school grades were SO delightful here -- not so much academic struggle, they had matured out of their early year issues, were interested in lots of things, we were able to have some terrific discussions, and we did a ton of fascinating field trips and some super-fun involvement with the homeschool group. High school and the teen years continued to be delightful -- just the one added stress factor of all of the administrative aspects of homeschool and the pressure that homeschooling was all "for real" now. But otherwise, it was great! Since you ladies have the wisdom of experience, do you think there is anything those of us with soon to be middle schoolers should know? Anything in hindsight you would have done differently? Or just recommendations on how you survived would be nice. :) Ah! Not what I want to hear. I start 5th grade with my oldest this fall. I'd love to hear tips and advice as well. RunningMom80 and Lexi: In answer to your question/concerns, I'm cutting pasting my response from a similar thread ("Preparing for high school during the elementary years"). Really, it's so going to vary depending on each individual family. Just wanted to encourage you that it really may be FUN and not as scary or stressful or difficult as our culture seems to insist it "should" be… :) "Our goals were overall development of who they are as people, and prep for a lifetime as adults; academics were just one part of that. Honestly, I feel like through all the grades we had a great balance of academics, activities / interest exploration, and family life. In the elementary/middle school years we especially focused on developing solid academic foundations and family relationship, so that in high school our DSs felt they could trust us and knew "we had their back" for the academic, social, and emotional challenges that high school brings. "What did you do right in elementary…" - Let them be young and be children and to have a childhood by protecting their innocence and their time -- introducing material when they were mature enough for it; not pushing rigor to the point of forced sprint pace to do Algebra in 4th grade :confused1: ; not over-scheduling every minute of their lives. - Lots and lots of time for imaginative play, and time for developing hobbies and personal interests. - Read a ton, read-alouds and readers. - Lots of games, puzzles, logic pages of all types to develop thinking skills. - Talked about everything. - Lots of exploration and discovery outside the home -- field trips, nature walks, camping/hiking, day trips, etc. - Daily family devotional time to start the day; helped form the habit of coming together and sharing and supporting one another. - Academically, a solid spine program and several supplements from different teaching/learning styles to expand the way of thinking about the subject (I esp. advocate this for math). "What do you wish you had done differently to prepare for high school subject matter…" - Not for prep for high school, but during high school, I probably should have outsourced writing for one year; they both did fine in college, but I think they would have gained a LOT from (and worked a lot harder for) another instructor. "Where did you fall short…" - Probably should have pushed for thorough testing for special needs and for specialized tutoring or helps / therapies; however strong will of student, even at elementary ages, made it clear he was completely unwilling to go that route; and without student buy-in, you can only do so much…" Some past threads on this topic: Looking back, what do you think is most important for elementary? If you knew then what you know now (what would you do differently for Logic stage years) High school parents: looking back what would be your ideal for 7th/8th grades Looking back (what you would do differently to prepare for high school work) Hypothetical question: What to do for the 4 years before public high school? Edited June 28, 2016 by Lori D. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 ^^^^^ love this! Thank you as usual for going above and beyond :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 So far, here, it has depended on the kid. My oldest has always been a difficult kid to parent. My next one has become a self-starter (where #1 still has to be woken up and nagged). My kids are late bloomers, so they are finally reading on their own in 4th or 5th and able to spell a few words correctly and capitalize the first word of each sentence! The hormone stuff is hard (girls!), but we use the Jessie Wise snack-shower-nap (or a Walk) routine if things get ugly. It helps. I only gave one high schooler and she's still impossible. The level of schooling has never mattered. So, YMMV. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourisenough Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Lori D., I wish you lived next door to me. The house is for sale: it's a lovely 20's Tudor with 5 bedrooms in a nice community with huge trees and walk-able to everything! Jk... You're just always so practical and encouraging; you'd be my dream neighbor. Homeschooling middle school with my older girls was never fun because I had a newborn & preschooler when it started and then a challenging toddler & young elementary student by the end; I was sleep-deprived and overwhelmed the entire time. NOW, as DD11 is entering 6th grade, I have one off to college, one in PS for high school, and one strong reader entering 2nd grade. I think it's going to be much more enjoyable this go-around! Calming Tea, I understand your reservations! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I have one entering high school and one who turned 11 today. I agree the middle grades have been challenging. I'm not out of the woods yet. You'd think I'd have this down now. Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Thank you Lori D! Great post and links. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I have one entering high school and one who turned 11 today. I agree the middle grades have been challenging. I'm not out of the woods yet. You'd think I'd have this down now. Nope. LOL, I wonder if we ever "have it down!" There always seemed to be some new learning curve for me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deerforest Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I have been thinking about this more and wonder if a lot of it has to do what we prefer to teach too. I have to admit that basic skill learning was boring for me. Yes, super important that she learned to write, read, do arithmetic. But, honestly, I don't think I liked any curriculum of the early homeschool years. Well, except Beast Academy. We had more failures than anything and I ended up creating so much of my own stuff. It was a lot of work! I'm still creating a lot of stuff, but it's so much more fun for me! Plus, there are so many more things that we can more easily use that are higher level and just so much more interesting to us both! So, really, my experience likely has nothing to do with DD at all and all about me and my attitude and interest! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 ^^ I spent the first 6 years of homeschooling reading aloud and discussing stuff with two children at either side of me, cuddling up and with rapt attention over the next page. Other than spelling, we never had any major academic problems in the 3 r's though I waffled on curriculum and definitely at times stressed out way more than was necessary....we weren't super busy outside the house and the weekly highlights pretty much included Sunday and AWANA on Wednesday and the Library on Friday. They were combined for almost everything and I ran around with them, just sort of having a lot of fun, although being very steady and sometimes bored of the mundane routine, overall I really enjoyed all those many hours reading! And they enjoyed it too. 5-7th grade consist of taking a kid who is hormonal, starting puberty, and awrkward, who doesn't know if they want to be a kid or a child, and shoring up every single academic skill area, while teaching and helping them to be independent. It's a really important age. They come into it a child and they come out a young adult. In 5th grade my son was just a little boy, I planned his day, I told him when to do pretty much everything except his free time, he spent most of his time with me and his sister and dad in the evenings and his schoolwork was not only planned by me but taught one on one in 4 out of 6 subjects. Now he just finished 8th grade and he bikes to work, has a summer job, knows exactly where his interests are and makes them a priority, plans his own schoolwork, does his own chores, does his own laundry, all without (for the most part) being asked, prodded or reminded. He takes care of all his own food outside the house for peanut allergy, packs food everywhere he goes, signs up for his own swim meets, chose most of his classes for high school, (with guidance there), and keeps his own schedule. Some of it happened somewhat naturally, but by and large it doesn't happen by itself. You don't just magically arrive at an independent responsible young adult ...and it's the middle school years when you make it happen. To me, that is why middle school is rough. You start with a child and if you do it right you end up with a young adult. That is not always an easy process. :o) In addition, Each of them has found different areas in which they are interested and so during the school year, Monday through Friday, I drive them around all afternoon long. My dd still hasn't decided what she really wants to do as far as extra curricular, so add to that the pressure of some extra drives here and there for 8 week increments as she might try new classes or activities. She is a jill of all trades and doesn't ever seem to just want to stick with one. She enjoys variety in activities (not in friends, she is very loyal) Discussions are much better in history and sometimes literature depending on what they are reading, but to me that's not academics so I'm not sure it even counts. I love discussing things though. I love these young people. I wouldn't trade this time for the world. But I preferred reading aloud, LOL That's my take on things. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deerforest Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Ah, I see all that as part of parenting this age, unrelated to school stuff! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 to me it's all related since, you know, I'm their homeschool mom. :) and to them it's related because school is one of the many things they will gradually learn to balance independently. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deerforest Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Right, in my mind I'd be doing all that stuff anyway. It's much more delineated for me too. I work full time (high tech from home) so our school time is in the morning, then I work, and then I'm a mom! Neither DH nor I are with her all day any day. DH (also works full time) drives her to drop-off activities in the afternoon. She has a very dedicated aerial training schedule, volunteer work, and a couple other regular activities. She knows if she doesn't get stuff done around the house or school, then she doesn't get to do these things she loves. I definitely think it helps when they find that passion. Trust me it's not perfect but I just have a very clear separation of these skills because of necessity! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 (edited) I'm enjoying these years myself, although I'm seeing the beginnings of some hormonal stuff at nearly 12. In my former life I worked w/ middle school aged kids, personally I feel more comfortable with that age. The younger years were an adjustment for me. It is so neat to me to see them come into their own. Teaching independence is my strong suite. I just think it is downright exciting, I've always been of the mindset not to do for the kids what they can do for themselves- my kids always do way more than others their age. It is just added on bit by bit as they get older. My thought is it is not like the kid change overnight- not generally- most everything is a slow change. I also have no illusions my kids might hate me at some point. I remember adoring my parents and then thinking they were terrible for a spell. I didn't know why but hormones are powerful. I don't generally take things personally. Gah that needs to be edited but I was multi-tasking and have to go, hopefully it is at least decipherable. Edited June 29, 2016 by soror 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 You used the middle school years to teach independence. I didn't. I'm using the time now that he's entering high school. I could be totally wrong, but I felt that he wasn't ready to teach independence yet. For my son, I felt that teaching independence was like teaching him to read. If you try to teach a kid to read when they're not ready, you're just banging your head against a wall. Which is what I did with my son. It was awful. I wish I'd waited until he was older instead of frustrating the two of us to tears every day. I felt that way about independence. My son just wasn't ready until now. In the past when I tried to teach him things related to independence, it was like when I tried to teach him to read when he was 5 and 6. Horrible. But now that he's 13, it's been pretty easy. Sort of like how at 7 reading started to click and it wasn't as painful as at 5 and 6. Then again, I could be wrong for waiting. We could have a horrible year next year being that I'm just now deliberately teaching independence. But I can't go back in time, so I hope it works. :) Not disagreeing with what you did with teaching independence in middle school. Just musing about it. And while my 13 year old is being taught things, my 11 year old is also being taught somewhat alongside him, though not as deliberately. We'll see how it goes with the 11 year old and see if he picks up on this stuff easier than my ds 13. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I'm really enjoying my middle schoolers, but I've always enjoyed teaching kids in that age range, particularly 12-14. The attitude, negotiations, and occasional hormone-driven drama don't bother me much, though. I also have a parenting style that tends toward giving my kids a lot of independence, so I enjoy the process of guiding them on that path and letting go. I also really enjoyed the age span from 12 mo through 4 yrs for much the same reason. It's so much fun to see toddlers find their independence. I think I'm an outlier, though, because it seems like all my friends loved ages 4-10. I like those ages fine, but I'm happy to see my kids get a little older and more independent. I think we all have our preferred stages. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) Since you ladies have the wisdom of experience, do you think there is anything those of us with soon to be middle schoolers should know? Anything in hindsight you would have done differently? Or just recommendations on how you survived would be nice. :) In hind sight, I enjoyed homeschooling middle school MUCH more than homeschooling high school. You can do whatever you want, follow rabbit trails, do interest based learning, tons of field trips, informal schooling - without haing to worry about transcripts and college admissions requirements. My advice would be to enjoy and make the best of the time before you have to keep an eye on all the external requirements. I found homeschooling high school way more stressful because my DD had her sights set on very selective colleges; the pressure on me not to screw up her chances by doing or omitting something weighed quite heavily at times. Middle school is a time to enjoy learning and keep the spark alive. It is also a time when the kids still want to do things with their parents, so I recommend to take advantage of that. We did weekly hikes as a family, visited state park and nature centers, went to the theatre... in later high school, they are independent, have their own transportation, jobs, friends, and rarely participate in family outings. I miss the middle grades! Edited June 30, 2016 by regentrude 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Yes, my experience with independence and both of our DSs was much more similar to Garga's -- no way we could have worked toward/achieved that level of independence and personal responsibility with either DS by the end of 8th grade. That was just not their unique timetable for maturing, nor in their personalities and emotional make-up. We reached the levels of maturity that Calming Tea was able to achieve with her DS more along grade 11 (age 16-17). We must live in area of "late-bloomers" (lol), as many of the boys in homeschooling families that we know locally tend to develop those abilities in independence at a later age (15-17yo), while many of the girls of homeschooling are more like Calming Tea's DS, and seem to reach that level earlier, around 12-14yo… Weird. SOO wonderful you were able to reach that stage by 8th grade, Calming Tea, as that will really allow you so many options for high school at an earlier age for your DS! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) ^^ I spent the first 6 years of homeschooling reading aloud and discussing stuff with two children at either side of me, cuddling up and with rapt attention over the next page. Other than spelling, we never had any major academic problems in the 3 r's though I waffled on curriculum and definitely at times stressed out way more than was necessary....we weren't super busy outside the house and the weekly highlights pretty much included Sunday and AWANA on Wednesday and the Library on Friday. They were combined for almost everything and I ran around with them, just sort of having a lot of fun, although being very steady and sometimes bored of the mundane routine, overall I really enjoyed all those many hours reading! And they enjoyed it too. 5-7th grade consist of taking a kid who is hormonal, starting puberty, and awrkward, who doesn't know if they want to be a kid or a child, and shoring up every single academic skill area, while teaching and helping them to be independent. It's a really important age. They come into it a child and they come out a young adult. In 5th grade my son was just a little boy, I planned his day, I told him when to do pretty much everything except his free time, he spent most of his time with me and his sister and dad in the evenings and his schoolwork was not only planned by me but taught one on one in 4 out of 6 subjects. Now he just finished 8th grade and he bikes to work, has a summer job, knows exactly where his interests are and makes them a priority, plans his own schoolwork, does his own chores, does his own laundry, all without (for the most part) being asked, prodded or reminded. He takes care of all his own food outside the house for peanut allergy, packs food everywhere he goes, signs up for his own swim meets, chose most of his classes for high school, (with guidance there), and keeps his own schedule. Some of it happened somewhat naturally, but by and large it doesn't happen by itself. You don't just magically arrive at an independent responsible young adult ...and it's the middle school years when you make it happen. To me, that is why middle school is rough. You start with a child and if you do it right you end up with a young adult. That is not always an easy process. :o) In addition, Each of them has found different areas in which they are interested and so during the school year, Monday through Friday, I drive them around all afternoon long. My dd still hasn't decided what she really wants to do as far as extra curricular, so add to that the pressure of some extra drives here and there for 8 week increments as she might try new classes or activities. She is a jill of all trades and doesn't ever seem to just want to stick with one. She enjoys variety in activities (not in friends, she is very loyal) Discussions are much better in history and sometimes literature depending on what they are reading, but to me that's not academics so I'm not sure it even counts. I love discussing things though. I love these young people. I wouldn't trade this time for the world. But I preferred reading aloud, LOL That's my take on things. Okay, I have Critterfixer's twins lined up to marry my twins, but can I line up your 9th grader for my oldest? She is going into 6th, so that's about right. All his own laundry, without being reminded? This is amazing! :) There are adults who do not function this well. Edited June 30, 2016 by Sahamamama 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 Well...once in a while he is down to the dregs before he does it hahahaa like you know...commando and all..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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