Do you teach your children swear words so that they know what they mean?

[Heathermomster]

DS came home and asked what a d-bag was.   :cursing:  :ack2:  THAT was an interesting convo.

Edited June 14, 2016 by Heathermomster

[sweetpea3829]

College Freshman me (1997) to a group of kids after class, first day of college:

"I can't go, I'm going to hook up with my roommate."

 

Guess which meaning I meant vs. what was understood by my peers :leaving: :lol:

 

Similarly....

 

College freshman me (1999) one evening at home with my parents...

 

"Man, I've got wicked munchies!!!!"

 

Took me awhile to figure out why they laughed at me.

[rose]

My children when they were about 7 jointly made up a rhyme that they were quite proud of:

 

"Over the hill and far away, we shall be married and we shall be gay."

 

That's certainly not a swear word but we had had to have a little lesson about how words change their meaning.

 

When I was about 7 we had a neighbour that would get angry at us for using sidewalk chalk on the road in front of his house. I thought that this was grotesque unfair and so I took my chalk and wrote in the biggest letters possible in front of his house: "Jenny's Dad SUCKS." Well this just made him livid! He came and told my mother that we were the most vulgar children he had ever met. We were trying to insult him but were completely ignorant of the vulgar use of that word. To us it was synonymous with stupid. My mother said that she had a hard time not laughing in his face. She was a good mother. :)

Edited June 14, 2016 by Rose M

[IsabelC]

We've let the kids know what words are considered too coarse for polite conversation, so they don't unintentionally offend people.  As far as discussing what specific words mean, I will but only if they ask.  My son actually asked me what  cunt  means the other day (highlight gap to view inappropriate word). I didn't have too much trouble explaining the meanings, but when he asked why people like to graffiti it in public places, I was rather at a loss, and just said "well some people do silly things because they think it makes them look cool". Because honestly, I never did that sort of thing, and I have absolutely no idea why young people think it's fun to write inappropriate things in places where kids will read them. We live in a somewhat disadvantaged area, and some of the things that are scrawled on the wall are so nasty that I will rush my 7yo past to avoid her reading and asking questions, even though I'm not a particularly ladylike or squeamish person.

 

Edited June 15, 2016 by IsabelC

[patriciatx]

No. 

[pitterpatter]

Oddly enough, my DD who is nine blocks out all swear words she hears. It's a true mystery to me. Although DH and I don't swear, she definitely hears them at family parties. Some of the audiobooks she listens to have the lesser ones (she listens to a lot of historical fiction). She has never asked about any of them. Having said that, DH and I never acknowledge them or pause when we hear them. We just keep talking or doing whatever without missing a beat.

[Pronghorn]

I have taught my daughter the meanings of swear words. That way, she can make an informed decision about using them. Otherwise, she'd just have to trust my blanket prohibition, which would help her in the short run but not help her internalize good choices.

[scoutingmom]

Similarly....

 

College freshman me (1999) one evening at home with my parents...

 

"Man, I've got wicked munchies!!!!"

 

Took me awhile to figure out why they laughed at me.

Oh oh... I'm 47 and don't know why.....

 

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[scoutingmom]

I do if they ask.... and may talk to them soon (the older 2) as they are in scouts and may be given a hard time at some point...? I have mentioned some words in books that have changed, but they haven't asked the newer meanings.

 

If we needed to send them to PS I would go through some because of a personal experience.... when I was young my family moved to a rougher neighbourhood.... and I was asked if I was gay. I knew that word to mean happy so replied yes.... the other kids knew I didn't understand, but I was the picked on kid for years....

 

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[Dmmetler]

My DD took a middle school level etymology class, and one of the first assignments was to pick a favorite swear word and research it's history and etymology. She giggled a lot through it, as did her classmates, but it was a great choice on the part of a lady who had taught middle school kids for years-it brought swear words to the level of "just another word", to be analyzed and understood, not feared or given extra power. DD's comment was that she was surprised that there were so many words for TeA ;), and it also helped the kids to realize just WHY so many of them are considered so rude, especially the racial ones, by learning the history. She loves etymology, and has done several different classes in it, plus read a lot of books, and I think this was the single most useful assignment any instructor has come up with. (And yes, it was on the syllabus up front, so if I'd objected, I could have had DD just not take that class).

Edited June 19, 2016 by Dmmetler2

[sweetpea3829]

Oh oh... I'm 47 and don't know why.....

 

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Apparently, folks who smoke pot get quite hungry and it is referred to as having the munchies, lol!

[naturegirl]

My seven year old son recently told me there are levels to swearing. 

 

Level one swear word: Poop

Level two swear word: Crap

Level three swear word: Sh**

 

I asked him how to know which level to use and he said, "Oh, you'll know." 

 

My son and I just had a very similar conversation about the various ways to say butt. 

level one: bottom

level two: butt

level three: ass

 

He still giggles every time he hears most swear words, especially if they pertain to butts or bodily functions. It's really too bad that no swear words are a bad word for broccoli or eggplant. Then I guarantee you no kid would want to say them any more. 

[fraidycat]

My kids hear me swear more than they should - in traffic mostly. So they know s**t, d**m, son of a (female dog), a**hole.

 

I do not use derogatory words for genitalia, male or female, or the derogatory words for prostitute. So these were unknown to them. One of them used the c-word for female genitals -( got it from a homeschool park day) and didn't know what it meant. They were devastated when they found out the meaning. Crying, embarassed, and downright heartbroken that a "friend" would teach them that word.

 

Now, they know all the words I know so they can filter appropriately. I'm sure I'm way behind the times because Urban Dictionary can make ME blush and I'm very liberal and open. But, if they use a word or phrase that is unknown to me, I will google it so they know what they are saying. We had another incident with a very innocuous sounding phrase, but knowing the source (kid at park) caused me to look. It was very, very bad. The whole group was using it, which is how it hit my radar. All the moms (except source mom) talked with their kids and the phrase was only ever used by source kid after that.

 

We no longer associate with that family.

[m448]

I've explained then as they've come up. Talk about fast tracking the summer an older cousin spilled a bunch of the big ones. Like others I give as much detail as I can on the word origins which have turned convos to "okay that's enough mom"

[JanetC]

My high schoolers know about urban dictionary (website to look up slang) and genius (website to look up meanings of pop lyrics).

 

I can't keep up with it. I was always pretty nerdy, and now I'm both nerdy and behind the times.

[Dmmetler]

One of my first ever paid jobs was in a daycare, and we had a little boy who’s speech was mostly ecolalic. One morning, he came in, walked up to the teacher, and with a big grin said “F—-you, B——!â€. So obviously proud of himself, and beaming. It was one of the only times he’d actually directed speech to a person and was trying to use it to communicate.

[nixpix5]

This is so interesting. My kids 8 and under haven't heard any until recently and it was "damn it" My 7 year old used it after he heard it a few times in a movie. I told him it was a bad word and not to use it. He said "what is a bad word?" so I knew I was in trouble haha. After explaining it he said "so some words you cannot say? How did they become bad? Is there more of them?" And on and on. He was fascinated by the whole concept. Now he is asking when he hears a word he doesn't know if it is bad. I gave him a short list of some of the bad but not vulgar ones he might hear in a movie to help him digest it more. We just don't ever use them and they don't use the Internet or watch anything over PG typically so it hadn't come up.

[goldenecho]

Yes and no.

 

In preschool I don't.   Very early (age 1-3) I don't even acknowledge that they've said the word right.   When my son picked up OMG (spelled out) from a babysitter I just substituted "Oh my gosh" (Pretended like he said it wrong.  You mean "Oh my gosh.")   I knew if I made a big deal it could encourage him to use it more.

 

Later, it just depends on the maturity or the context.  If my younger kids (preschool, early elementary) say a swear word I might explain (Like I'll explain that Sh** mean poop, but isn't a nice way to say it,  but not what F**k means, cause I want them to have a better understanding of sex before I explain it's use as a swear word).

 

For older kids (upper grade school and up)...if they use a word, I'll absolutely tell them what it means, not just that it's a bad word.   They usually turn bright red and don't ever use the word again in front of me. I don't really preemptively do this except a few cases where they said something close to that (that could be mistaken), or we saw a movie or something and there was a swear word.    But we've talked about not repeating stuff we don't understand.    With my teens...they know how to use a dictionary.    But we've had long discussions about swearing in general...why we choose not to, what affects it has.  I do let them watch some things with swearing...we talk about why people swearing, and why I allow them to watch some things that have swearing but are valuable for other reasons.  

Edited March 20, 2018 by goldenecho

[Carrie12345]

Zombie thread

 

Oh, but it's an interesting one I haven't seen!  :D

 

I have a foul mouth. My kids have heard it all (maybe minus the rare term even I won't use.) I don't think I've ever given explicit definitions, and my 3 teens (2 who can get rather salty, and 1 who is "above" all that) seem to be existing just fine.

 

When I was a kid, I did get in trouble for saying d-bag, which was much more popular back in my day, and my mom defined it for me. I still couldn't understand why it was such a bad term.  Maybe a DUMB term, but I didn't understand the naughtiness.  I think I was too preoccupied with wondering why any lady would do that!

 

Not that long ago, I dramatically declared that I was mad AF, using the initials, which is quite unlike me.  My 10 and 7yos giggled. They now have tighter controls on their devices (even though I left the room and giggled, too.)

[sweetpea3829]

So not long ago, I had a discussion with my kids about swear words. I asked them if they knew what they were and they looked at me blankly (they were 11, 10, 9 and 8 at the time).

 

We were doing a devotional on keeping our words pure and that's what led into the talk, lol.

 

Anyways, I explained to them that swear words are words that some people use to express strong feelings, or to be mean to others and that they are not OK to use.

 

I asked if any of them could think of any examples they might have heard.

 

My daughter responds, "Oh, I know! Like this...*meanest voice she could muster*...I'm going to PURPLE you!!!!"

 

😂😂😂😂😂

 

I nearly died laughing. Obviously, my kids are pretty sheltered.