WWYD - asking for an accommodation at local home school center

[frugalmamatx]

DD, age nearly 10, has suspected ASD and sensory issues. She has come a LONG way, but still struggles with small things - including talking to strangers {especially males} and unscripted conversations that aren't group conversations. I'm ok with this - she is working on it in her own way on her own timing. 

 

Our local home school center does a summer reading program. DD would like to participate {the kids earn $20 by reading 20 books, and possibly more if they win top reader} - except that you have to meet with a unknown volunteer {normally homeschool moms or teens} and discuss the book one on one with them. The kids also have to turn in a form with information from the book for each book. DD was in tears this morning - she wants to participate and earn her $20, but the mere thought of having to talk one on one with a volunteer was sending her into a full blown panic attack. I've offered for me to go with her, but it's the talking to a stranger that is giving her the hard time. This is the third year we've gone through this, and every year it's an issue because she wants to participate but can't handle doing so. And of course every time we go there in summer the staff ask if she is going to participate which normally equals a meltdown from her. 

 

Would I be totally out of line asking if they could accommodate her by allowing her to just turn in the form & not do the meetings? She's a strong reader - it's just her social skills that need working on. 

 

 

ETA: I'm struggling with deciding to ask for an accommodation because 1. The program is optional {though most local homeschool kids do participate} and 2. Dd's issues aren't readily apparent. 

Edited June 8, 2016 by frugalmamatx

[Storygirl]

I would talk to them. You don't need to specify what her problems are in detail, but just explain that she has some special needs and a lot of anxiety about meeting with someone to discuss the book. Why don't you ask if you can be her volunteer? She can discuss the book with you, and you can sign off somehow that she did that.

 

An in-between idea would be for her to discuss the book with you at the center, while one of the other volunteers is in the room, quietly observing. If she has to do this multiple times, perhaps after a few times the volunteer could chime in with one or two questions. Perhaps they could be questions that your daughter knows will be asked, so she can be prepared with an answer and feel successful.

 

Does she have to discuss all twenty books? That is a lot of meetings! Or does she talk about all the books at one meeting? Has the volunteer read the same book?

[frugalmamatx]

I would talk to them. You don't need to specify what her problems are in detail, but just explain that she has some special needs and a lot of anxiety about meeting with someone to discuss the book. Why don't you ask if you can be her volunteer? She can discuss the book with you, and you can sign off somehow that she did that.

 

An in-between idea would be for her to discuss the book with you at the center, while one of the other volunteers is in the room, quietly observing. If she has to do this multiple times, perhaps after a few times the volunteer could chime in with one or two questions. Perhaps they could be questions that your daughter knows will be asked, so she can be prepared with an answer and feel successful.

 

Does she have to discuss all twenty books? That is a lot of meetings! Or does she talk about all the books at one meeting? Has the volunteer read the same book?

 

Yes they do discuss all 20 books. I'm told it's a fairly informal discussion - what book was it, who wrote it, did you like it, etc. They do allow you to do multiple books per visit, especially if you are coming from out of town. I doubt the volunteers have read every book - they have a 20-something page list of books to choose from. 

 

I don't know that they allow parents to volunteer for this program - I'll have to ask. Mainly they are putting an emphasis on the teens of our community being the volunteers as a way of doing "missions from home". 

[momof4inco]

If it's too much to even do the discussion with you while someone is listening (mentioned above), maybe she could do more writing than is required on the form. Whatever she would have to tell them in person, she could write down. She might not be the only one in their program who needs some kind of accommodation. I have found people can be amazingly helpful if you give them a little information about your child's challenges :)

 

I hope she gets to participate, it sounds like a neat program!

[Lecka]

Another idea is to ask grandma (or similar) to do it with her and then give her $20. She can do the same thing within your family if that would be okay with her.

 

Just mentioning it, but maybe there are possibilities to try to help with the anxiety. I hear of some children who sound similar having some progress when they do more for their anxiety, sometimes.

 

Locally this can mean using The Incredible 5-Point Scale or seeing a counselor, for example.

[katilac]

I wouldn't ask for her to just turn in the form, but I would ask for a different type of accommodation. 

 

I like Storygirl's idea of you talking with her while a volunteer silently observes, if she would go for that. 

 

Also the idea of you or another family member doing it at home, but with the added step of making a video to bring in. 

 

Or the more writing idea, could also be pictures and projects. 

 

Basically, something that allows for her issues, while still keeping with the spirit of the program. 

 

If they are always asking her if she will participate, I think they will work with you. Go in with several possible ideas and see what happens.

[Julie Smith]

When Eldest was younger he did a similiar program. The volunteers would check off your booklet and ask you about the book. Just very general questions. They were use to working with young kids and Eldest slowly worked his way up to talking to them about his book. 

 

At first he would just nod his head to questions, and show his booklet with his name on it when they asked his name.

Then he would start whispering his name, and showing his booklet with his name on it in big bold letters.

Then he would repeat his name louder, and give quiet one word answers.

...

 

Perhaps you can just have them add a note saying, "Don't push for verbal answers, accept head nodding." Then if she is ready near the end of the program you can have them add a note about her saying, "Except only head nodding and quiet one word answers. Don't push for anything else."

 

[KSinNS]

For sure I would ask for accomodations. I would have a frank conversation about my kids needs. Maybe the volunteer could be someone she knows, and will accept nodding and pointing. And ideally the same person for each book so she gets more familiar and confident. This is a great opportunity to work on social skills if they are willing to be helpful. Then you can role play ahead of time.