Am I crazy? (Potty training) *Updated* (post 65)

[medawyn]

I'm desperately needing to potty train my three year old, but now I'm wondering if I should just throw my 18 month old into the mix.  She's spent the last week taking off her pants and diaper (and subsequently peeing on the floor if I don't catch her soon enough).  She can even unsnap her onesies, so those don't help.  This morning she figured out how to unzip and almost remove her long john style pajamas, so I'm pretty much out of "safe" outfits.  Barring duct tape, it seems like potty training might be my best option?

 

She's non-verbal for the most part ("mama" and "shoes") but very expressive.  She usually lets me know when she has a wet/dirty diaper, and often even before.

 

So your best tips for potty training a young toddler? Two at once? A super stubborn three year old?

 

Oh, and I have a 2.5 week old, so it seems like a fantastic time to embark on this little experience.  :svengo:

Edited May 31, 2016 by HOPE_Academy

[mamiof5]

Bribing (little rewards etc) for three year old. No idea for 18 month olds, have never potty trained them that young. I actually have a 19 month old...thank goodness he keeps his diaper on 😉. The best of luck!!! Potty training one for me has been hard...two? Yikes! 😲

[displace]

If you don't potty train your 18 month old you can always put the zipper pj on backwards so the zipper is out of reach.

[EKS]

What's wrong with using duct tape?

[medawyn]

What's wrong with using duct tape?

Not a thing! But she's my never-give-up kid, so I'm afraid it would be just a very temporary solution.

[SKL]

I did the 3-day boot camp with my youngest at 17mos.  It was in June, so we did most of it outside.  She did great.  Though she was a pee pot and needed to pee every half hour.  :p  After a couple weeks, I ditched the night time diapers too, and she stayed dry all night, as long as I got her to the potty before she'd been up long in the morning.  (She wasn't one to climb out of her crib.)  My older kid took a little longer because it was indoors (colder months), but I used cloth waterproof training pants and she was diaper-free at 19mos.  PS their ages are 3 mos apart, so they finished almost at the same time.  :)

Edited May 19, 2016 by SKL

[Amy in NH]

I potty trained my oldest at 3... much more difficult than the younger three who were trained before they turned 2. Ime 18-22 months is the perfect window. Perhaps 3yo will find some motivation from seeing younger sibling trained (and the praise that goes with it)?

[SKL]

Yes, my kids used their own signs for needing to go potty, until they were about 2yo.  They weren't nonverbal, but they preferred nonverbal potty communication.  :)  Whatever works!

[SKL]

My favorite products were Imse Vimse training pants and Baby Bjorn little potties.

[Guest]

I potty trained two at once. My suggestion is to get a very comfortable seat in the bathroom because you will feel like you are living your life in there. Concentrate on the oldest. Always let them go first (well if you don't have two potties- I refused to use plastic kids pots) then stick the second on there while you're helping the first get clothes put back together. If they go they go- great! If they don't, don't sweat it. Every time they do go is one less diaper- that's the way I had to look at it.

[Julie Smith]

I can't remember many details on how,  but both my boys were potty trained at that age. Eldest was even dry over night, but when he woke up he would rush to the potty to pee for ages. Youngest just wouldn't go pee in his diaper and would wake up crying/screaming, "pee" till I would carry him to the potty.  :glare: I couldn't convince him to pee in his diaper - even when I switched to disposable. It was an annoying time waiting for his bladder to grow big enough to last the night. 

[Shellydon]

I potty trained 3 of mine at that age.  Most European countries potty train around  18 months.  It is easier, IMO, than at 3 when they are so stubborn and oppositional.

[SparklyUnicorn]

No BTDT, but that actually sounds like a good idea.  I found it easier to train the second kid because he had his bigger brother as a role model. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I potty trained 3 of mine at that age.  Most European countries potty train around  18 months.  It is easier, IMO, than at 3 when they are so stubborn and oppositional.

 

I hear people say this, but is a kid really trained if they can't get onto the toilet?

That was what I always wondered about. 

[bibiche]

No tips (DS did it on his own, I was just there), but totally not crazy for an 18 month old to potty train, particularly if she is motivated. This is the age that DS did it, and I know that I and my siblings were all out of diapers by that age.

 

Do you cloth diaper? If not, maybe switch to cloth while you are working on it. It appears there is a connection between cloth and early potty training - with cloth the cause and effect is pretty apparent (I pee, my diaper gets wet), whereas with disposable diapers it isn't (I pee, my diaper still feels dry).

 

Good luck. :)

[KatieJ]

My first two (girls) were trained at about 19 months. My boys were both just after their second birthday. We had a little potty chair that I used for all of them. Yes, they could pull their own pants down and go by themselves after a couple of weeks. I see using the big toilet as a drawback for that reason. The big toilets usually require assistance from someone to get up there. Small portable potty chairs worked for me. We had very few accidents.

We didn't ditch nighttime diapers until they had been dry all night for awhile . That timeframe was different for each child. I didn't rush it.

[medawyn]

I hear people say this, but is a kid really trained if they can't get onto the toilet?

That was what I always wondered about.

She's my monkey. She can climb up on our tall stool and wash her hands/brush teeth, so I can probably get her a stool for the toilet, at least at home. Redressing herself will probably be another issue. If this even works!

[Tap]

Both of my older kids were completely potty trained by 2yo.  Ds was probably 22 mo and it took about a week or so.  He was dry at night before we started training so once the diapers were gone, they were completely gone.

 

DD17 was right at 2yo and the only trouble she had was staying dry at naps.  If she fell asleep with out going pee at nap time, she  would occasionally have an accident but other than that, she was done (day and night) before 2yo also. 

 

DD9 is special needs and was over 3yo.  She had zero interest before that.  I had tried about every 3 months between 2 and 3yo, She had a potty chair the entire time and was in daycare, so she was exposed to the idea on a regular basis.  She finally did it, but it took a bit longer than the other two.

[medawyn]

I foresee a lot of nursing in the bathroom in my near future!

[Tap]

I hear people say this, but is a kid really trained if they can't get onto the toilet?

That was what I always wondered about. 

For my older kids we had a seat with a step attached that went over the toilet.  If we were somewhere clean that just had a step stool, the kids were taught to sit backwards and put their hand on the  tank for balance. 

Edited May 19, 2016 by Tap

[Julie Smith]

I hear people say this, but is a kid really trained if they can't get onto the toilet?

That was what I always wondered about. 

 

We had a potty seat, just a ring that fit on the toilet to make the toilet seat smaller, and a stool. I was responsible for wiping, especially after a bowel movement, and helping with hand washing. But they would get on the toilet and go by themselves during the day.  They would call me when they were done. 

 

I only had to get Youngest on the toilet during the night since he wouldn't go in his diaper and he would just cry/scream, "pee" till I carried him to the toilet. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't know what they use overseas (reference to the response that was quoted), but for my older kids we has a seat with a step attached that went over the toilet.  If we were somewhere clean that just had a step stool, the kids were taught to sit backwards and put their hand on the  tank for balance. 

 

I was more wondering what people do if they go out.

[Guest]

I was more wondering what people do if they go out.

You pray they don't have to the bathroom. One of mine was completely freaked out by huge scary public toilets. I always put a diaper on that kid when we left the house until the fear was conquered. It was never needed but it gave me peace of mind until we sped back to the house. I know they sell portable toilet seats but I could never get past the disgust level of carrying one around in a bag. Plus who carries a bag that big once your kid is potty training age?! I might be weird though. I never carried a purse either so....ymmv.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You pray they don't have to the bathroom. One of mine was completely freaked out by huge scary public toilets. I always put a diaper on that kid when we left the house until the fear was conquered. It was never needed but it gave me peace of mind until we sped back to the house. I know they sell portable toilet seats but I could never get past the disgust level of carrying one around in a bag. Plus who carries a bag that big once your kid is potty training age?! I might be weird though. I never carried a purse either so....ymmv.

 

Yeah one of mine was freaked out by the sound of the flushing.

 

I don't have a purse and yeah no I didn't want to carry a seat.

[LMD]

Good luck. I'm currently going insaner training my 2.5 year old...

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree, maybe get a comfortable folding chair you can keep in the bathroom so you have something to sit on.

 

 I say try it.  Lots of people succeed at that age.  You might look at getting a little potty seat so if one is really needing to sit and "get things done" but the other really needs to go right at that moment they have somewhere to actually go without peeing on the floor.  You could keep it under the sink and just pull it out for emergencies or something if you are opposed to little kid potty seats (some are).  

Edited May 19, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[hornblower]

I was more wondering what people do if they go out.

 

I just went with them & held them under the armpits and taught them to lean their weight forward. 

 

Another option is to have them put their feet on the seat and squat while you just provide stability so they don't accidentally tip. 

[Ms.Ivy]

I potty trained several kids at 18 mo. I put a diaper on them when we went out, in case we couldn't make it to the potty in time. I just got in the habit of taking the toddlers to the bathroom every couple of hours, and right after meals, whether they said they needed to go or not. They could climb on the seat by themselves, but needed clothing assistance and wiping help until they were three or so. I never had the money to keep kids in disposable diapers for too long, and I got sick of washing cloth diapers too. So we just potty trained as early as I could. I have a friend who potty trains her kids from birth. She really saves money on diapers!

[medawyn]

I potty trained several kids at 18 mo. I put a diaper on them when we went out, in case we couldn't make it to the potty in time. I just got in the habit of taking the toddlers to the bathroom every couple of hours, and right after meals, whether they said they needed to go or not. They could climb on the seat by themselves, but needed clothing assistance and wiping help until they were three or so. I never had the money to keep kids in disposable diapers for too long, and I got sick of washing cloth diapers too. So we just potty trained as early as I could. I have a friend who potty trains her kids from birth. She really saves money on diapers!

 

Yeah, I have three in diapers right now, and I'd love to take that down by a kid or two.  Mostly I'd just love to have potty accidents because we are attempting to train rather than because my kid houdini'd out of her diaper when I wasn't looking.  At least I'll be on the lookout for puddles rather than having to hunt them down!

[Guest]

 

I just went with them & held them under the armpits and taught them to lean their weight forward.

 

Another option is to have them put their feet on the seat and squat while you just provide stability so they don't accidentally tip.

Yeah I will say boys are way easier at this age. You can just stand them on the toilet seat and lean them forward like a downhill skier. Girls are a bigger pain in the butt in public bathrooms. Mine would never let me hold them like that- they would freak out until they were big enough to not feel like they were being dangled over an abyss. :) The squatting thing is a good idea. I wish I had thought of that.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah I will say boys are way easier at this age. You can just stand them on the toilet seat and lean them forward like a downhill skier. Girls are a bigger pain in the butt in public bathrooms. Mine would never let me hold them like that- they would freak out until they were big enough to not feel like they were being dangled over an abyss. :) The squatting thing is a good idea. I wish I had thought of that.

 

I only have boys, but they freaked too.  It really wasn't easy.  And although I'm not a total germaphobe in public restrooms, I didn't want to get too chummy with the toilet either. 

 

So glad we are well past that stage!

[Guest]

I only have boys, but they freaked too. It really wasn't easy. And although I'm not a total germaphobe in public restrooms, I didn't want to get too chummy with the toilet either.

 

So glad we are well past that stage!

You and me both sister. I feel like all I did for a year was sit perched on the side of a bathtub while asking "are you done yet?"

[SKL]

I was more wondering what people do if they go out.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Framed-Friends-Folding/dp/B00076SL0I/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1463675259&sr=8-1&keywords=plastic+foldable+potty+seat

 

It folds up and fits in a small diaper bag (less than 6" square)

Edited May 19, 2016 by SKL

[MercyA]

I was more wondering what people do if they go out.

 

You pray they don't have to the bathroom. One of mine was completely freaked out by huge scary public toilets. I always put a diaper on that kid when we left the house until the fear was conquered. It was never needed but it gave me peace of mind until we sped back to the house. I know they sell portable toilet seats but I could never get past the disgust level of carrying one around in a bag. Plus who carries a bag that big once your kid is potty training age?! I might be weird though. I never carried a purse either so....ymmv.

 

 

I loved, loved, loved this travel potty chair for the back seat of the car. It folds up into a little suitcase-type case. The child pees into a gallon ziplock bag, which you then just seal it up and throw it away at the first opportunity.  :) Add some board books and a box of Kleenex for TP to the backseat, and you're all set.

 

If we absolutely had to use a public bathroom, I used this folding seat over a disposable seat cover. I kept it double bagged in my purse and Lysol-ed it when we got home. 

 

When kids are ready to just sit on the seat of a public toilet, I love these seat covers because they cover the sides and front of the toilet, too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

http://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Framed-Friends-Folding/dp/B00076SL0I/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1463675259&sr=8-1&keywords=plastic+foldable+potty+seat

 

 

I'd be afraid to pinch my butt on that thing.

LOL

 

But sure that's pretty clever.

[Ms.Ivy]

Yeah, I have three in diapers right now, and I'd love to take that down by a kid or two. Mostly I'd just love to have potty accidents because we are attempting to train rather than because my kid houdini'd out of her diaper when I wasn't looking. At least I'll be on the lookout for puddles rather than having to hunt them down!

I know how you feel! I used to let the kids go naked underneath with a long shirt for about a week until they learned what was happening, while I closely watched. (I don't have carpet). YMMV, but I also made a big deal out of staying "clean and dry" rather than rewarding for going in the potty.

 

I have one last kid still finishing training and then I am done! Just in time to start dealing with puberty in my older kids. Hahahha

[SKL]

Yeah one of mine was freaked out by the sound of the flushing.

 

I don't have a purse and yeah no I didn't want to carry a seat.

 

You didn't carry any sort of bag when your kids were tots?

[Ms.Ivy]

The Secret Life of Homeschool Moms Exposed....

 

I have taught a lot of math and Latin in the bathroom while waiting for a toddler to poop.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You didn't carry any sort of bag when your kids were tots?

 

Often not.

 

I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal.

 

:lol:

[Guest]

I loved, loved, loved this travel potty chair for the back seat of the car. It folds up into a little suitcase-type case. The child pees into a gallon ziplock bag, which you then just seal it up and throw it away at the first opportunity. :) Add some board books and a box of Kleenex for TP to the backseat, and you're all set.

 

If we absolutely had to use a public bathroom, I used this folding seat over a disposable seat cover. I kept it double bagged in my purse and Lysol-ed it when we got home.

 

When kids are ready to just sit on the seat of a public toilet, I love these seat covers because they cover the sides and front of the toilet, too.

I had a similar travel seat but mine would never use it. It's like the thought of a toilet in the car blew their minds. :) I always sat them sideways on the public toilets (for the sitters) and they eventually got over the dangling fear, but it took a while.

 

Oh and a friend suggested taking a post it note to place over the "eye" on those automatically flushing toilets that are awesome for freaking out already nervous kids. She swore by it. But since I never carry a purse, i really didn't have post its at my disposal to vouch myself.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I had a potty chair that played short musical tunes.  One of my kids liked playing around with it.  The other was freaked out. 

 

It's so weird how different they are.

 

 

[SKL]

The Secret Life of Homeschool Moms Exposed....

 

I have taught a lot of math and Latin in the bathroom while waiting for a toddler to poop.

 

We did some reading and music in there!  :P  I had 2 little potties and I'd sit on the toilet seat lid.  Yeah, I don't miss those days either.  :P

[SKL]

Oh and a friend suggested taking a post it note to place over the "eye" on those automatically flushing toilets that are awesome for freaking out already nervous kids. She swore by it. But since I never carry a purse, i really didn't have post its at my disposal to vouch myself.

 

I always figured out some way to stick a piece of toilet paper over it.

 

After a point, my kids would remember to do this themselves.  :P

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I hear people say this, but is a kid really trained if they can't get onto the toilet?

That was what I always wondered about. 

 

I have a 4 year old who still needed help onto the potty until about 2 months ago.  She's been potty trained since 22 months, but she has a significant growth delay that makes her about the size (now) of a 2 year old.  At age 2, she was the size of a 10 month old.  I think "trained" is able to state her need to go and then get to the bathroom.  :-)

 

Both my girls trained at 22 months with almost no prompting from me.  They both simply told me one day they wanted to go potty (as in "potty!" with gestures to their clothes/diaper) and so I sat them on the potty and that was it.  From that day forward, each girl had maybe 3 accidents total in the first six months.  

 

So, all that to say, go for it, but if you see she's not getting it, go back to diapers and try again in a few months.  Don't let yourself get frustrated over it.  

 

For the three year old...  no suggestions.  I used m and m's with my son to help things along, that worked great (age 2.5).  :-)  He did have a lot more accidents than the girls at first, even though he was older.  Maybe just a boy/girl thing.  

[SKL]

I don't get hung up on the word "trained."  There is going to be a trade-off with a young tot.  You are going to have to be hands on one way or another - whether it's changing diapers, cleaning a little potty, or helping them with planning and big toilets.  Your choice.  :)  My choice was to stop buying diapers and put the effort into helping the kid use the potty.

 

I know some people say it's way easier to wait until they are ready to do it all, but that doesn't seem to be so for the OP right now.  :)  And I think older kids are more likely to fear / resist the toilet if it's new at that age.  Younger tots don't think everything is a hill to die on.  Usually.  :)

[wendy not in HI]

 Redressing herself will probably be another issue. If this even works!

 

My girls potty trained around 2 years old (or I was trained??)  for each of them, I just had them wear dresses as much as possible.  Just undies to pull down and up, no real re-dressing, you know?

 

I did a 3 day "potty intensive" with each of mine where the whole focus was on the bathroom.  Eat, drink, pee.  That's all.  We practiced running to the bathroom.  We had baby dolls who peed.  (ahh, the good old days)  I did my best to not go anywhere for those 3 days, and then limited trips for the next couple weeks.  Then, my strategy was to automatically use the bathroom at Target/grocery/walmart as soon as we entered, because if I waited, someone was sure to have an accident/need to go immediately while I was loading stuff on the belt...

 

Good luck!  

 

(It seems like there should be a merit badge for potty training, with a gold star if you do two kids at once!)

[MercyA]

Oh and a friend suggested taking a post it note to place over the "eye" on those automatically flushing toilets that are awesome for freaking out already nervous kids. She swore by it. But since I never carry a purse, i really didn't have post its at my disposal to vouch myself.

 

Yes!!! Automatically flushing toilets are scary and evil. Usually you can hang a piece of TP over the electric eye, but sometimes only a Post-It will do. It's one of those things I never remember to put in my purse, though...

 

How do you people get along without purses? I like the security of knowing that just about everything I need is in there.  :)

[SeaConquest]

I potty trained my oldest at 3... much more difficult than the younger three who were trained before they turned 2. Ime 18-22 months is the perfect window. Perhaps 3yo will find some motivation from seeing younger sibling trained (and the praise that goes with it)?

 

This is exactly what I was going to say. All of it. 

 

Just rip the bandaid off and do them both at the same time!

[SeaConquest]

I will also add that I just trained my second boy -- both were day and night trained by 2.5.

 

My tips:

 

No underwear! Keep them nakey from the waist down when at home for a good 3-6 months. Both of my boys peed everytime I put them in the undies until they were older and had pottying down really well.

 

Teach them to use the big toilet immediately. I never had to carry around all these potty inserts or portable potties. You just scoot them all the way back on the seat, so pee doesn't shoot everywhere. For boys, teach them to point their penis down. By learning on the big potties right away, they also get used to flushing sounds. I never had the issue of public vs. home potty problems because the potties looked the same. Use the automatic flushers early and often to get them used to it.

 

I have sat on toilet seats my entire life, and have never had a problem. You just wash your hands. If your kids get used to scooting all the way back, they won't feel like they are going to fall in.

 

We have a step stool next to the toilet at home. We leave the bathroom door open, the light on, the stool next to the potty, and keep him nakey at home. After a few days, they just start going on their own without much prompting. My son moves the step stool to the toilet if we forget.

 

Praise, praise, praise. Do the happy dance. Cheer. Reinforce that he or she is such a big boy/girl now, etc. 

 

ETA: No pullups! Go cold turkey on anything that resembles a diaper, except for naps and overnight. As soon as the wakeup with dry dipes from naps and overnight for several days in a row, ditch those too asap.

Edited May 19, 2016 by SeaConquest

[mom2samlibby]

My DD was trained at 18 months.  She wanted to wear panties and knew what to do.  I think she only had a few accidents.  She knew when she needed to go and would head to the bathroom.  She was a lot easier to train than my son.  He trained at 3.5 and it was a struggle.