Reluctantly afterschooling following homeschooling - please help

[Tanikit]

We emigrated and my husband decided that he no longer wanted me to homeschool our children so that they could integrate into the new country. My children have been homeschooled from the beginning and are now in grades 3 and kindergarten. They have settled into school well and made friends, but I am worried about a number of things and have even been advised to continue homeschooling math by my eldest daughter's teacher who says she will not be able to teach her at her level - they are doing double digit addition while mine was doing fractions.

 

School is however a long day for both of them, we are still adapting to the emigration and everything new here including school and homework and even sleep patterns. I have left them for three weeks to adapt but feel that it is now time to start afterschooling - how do I fit this into an already tight schedule (my eldest is also doing gymnastics til quite late in the evening). I would love to do it all since that is what I was doing, but need to be realistic in my expectations.

[bakpak]

I tend to sneak in things at breakfast some times, or little bits here and there on the weekends. Especially if you're doing math snuggled up together, they'd probably really appreciate the extra focused Mom time now that they're not with you as many hours.

[Miss Tick]

Can you send math to school for her to work on?

 

All together, outside school, I would focus on science or history.

 

Good luck! Moving is hard.

[SKL]

Given that they are still adjusting, I would start in short periods, maybe 10 minutes per evening and an hour on the weekend.  I would try to make it a routine though.  I would tell the kids that it is going to ramp up over time.

 

Is it getting close to vacation where you are, or is the school year different?  If school is winding down, I'd wait until summer to launch into extra home study.

 

A way to ease into academics outside of school could be to do read-alouds with math story books, audiobooks, educational videos, maybe a trip to the museum or nature center.

 

Something I bought for this summer:  kids' cookbooks that incorporate academic learning.  Eat your math homework, science projects you can eat., etc.  I also found some that use art projects to teach math and science concepts.  Hopefully these will be a change of pace from school work, but still educational.  I haven't tried them yet, so time will tell.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe get a book like Kitchen Table Math and play math games. 

[Have kids -- will travel]

Can she get single subject acceleration in math? I'd look into that before the end of the school year. The problem isn't just that she's ahead of the class, it's also that she gets to sit through lessons that she's beyond. Boring and demotivating at best, a recipe for perfectionism or underachievement at worst.

 

My oldest really enjoys his afterschool math program. It's a bit faster than school, not quite enough, but it works for us because I work full time and can't teach any extra.

 

Games are great, and she may enjoy some online options if screens are as compelling to her as they are to my boys. I don't know exactly for the level you're looking for, but Khan Academy, Sumdog, Dreambox, Prodigy, and IXL Math are good places to start looking.

[Penguin]

:grouphug: I have been in a similar situation. In our case, the school refused to differentiate and challenge my son (who was the only native English speaker in the class). We did our best to afterschool, but it was hard. Just do what you can, and try not to beat yourself up over what they are not getting. Homeschool versus immersion is a trade-off. 

[pwicks]

I do the intense afterschooling on the weekends and holidays. I focus mostly on reading and language arts and keep science and social studies for long summer breaks. I have certain online programs that they can do independantly such as dreambox and Raz kids (Raz kids is provided by the school). I try and get them to do these during school days after school but with their other actvities its hard. I try for 1-2 times a week 15 minutes or so.

 

When they were younger (in kindergarten) I could get them to do the online programs 1/2 hour a day 5 days but as they are older and more activities its tougher.

 

The thing to keep in mind is that 1/2 hr of focused one on one time with your child is worth so more than an hour of classroom time. So don't stress out about it.

[Tanikit]

*This post is more like a journal for me - to see where I am going which is why it is long - giving up homeschooling has been hard for me and not what I would have chosen and this post explores that from different angles - I am not asking for advice, though would love to hear others stories*

 

Just an update: we have now finished their first term at school. Both did well, have settled and are happy. My eldest's teacher is giving her grade 4 math to work on after she has finished the grade 3 math and has suggested moving her to grade 4 for Math - this may not be enough, but it is better than nothing and I have been continuing at home. She is learning a new language as well which has needed some adapting to and having missed the first term at school her marks are fairly average in most content subjects since she was tested on work she had missed.  My eldest herself is confused though - she does not know what she wants. She likes school and her friends, but misses homeschooling. She complains about too little time with her mother and missing friends back home and then gets excited by the fun activities at school. 

 

My youngest is performing very well in her class, but is starting to mess up her homework on purpose - with lots of giggles she purposely drew lines to incorrect pictures and even when the teacher told her: "If you do that, Mom won't let you fix it and then I will put big crosses on your work, do you want that?" My child who has always been a little well-behaved angel looked at her teacher, laughed and said: "Yes, that would be funny!" She is reading chapter books independently now though in class must read early phonics readers and read to children who cannot read. I am still able to work with her at home though so am less worried about her. Again she wants to be with her mother and hates leaving for school and yet is perfectly happy when I pick her up.

 

My own heart aches over this. I miss homeschooling and I miss my children. I actually do not know what is best for them on any level - there are pros and cons to both and at least there is no bullying and the children are happy enough. Academically I think the school will help my eldest with her writing more than I might be able to, but will stunt her mathematics and reading enjoyment, she will learn a new language, but will learn less about science and history and probably geography but she will learn more than I can teach her about the country we are now in and its customs and holidays. They also get rewarded at school more than they would in my house which they both enjoy. 

 

I have chronic diseases and I while this was never a consideration when putting them back in school, the break it has given me has in some ways been good for me. Having some time to myself to read a book (and not about homeschooling, work or some such subject) and be by myself was something I had forgotten could happen. The house sure is cleaner... and I don't often boil the kettle anymore and forget to make the tea or coffee because I got interrupted... I start work next week part time though so maybe things will feel different again.

 

I do however want my children challenged academically. I want them to enjoy learning and I want them to be able to struggle with problems. I want them to have some time to themselves - time to make their own decisions and learn to be by themselves - not having every action ordered for them time to manage their own time which I do not feel they get in school. Mostly though I miss the relationships - they have not disappeared, they are just more distant with less time and more uncertainty - I do not know what my kids are doing all the time, I do not always hear what upset them, I don't even know always what they did during the day and sometimes when they get home they don't want to tell me - they need some time to turn on the TV or just be (I guess like my husband does after being at work) and by the time they are ready to talk it is nearly bedtime. 

 

I don't know... if I could choose now, I would go back to homeschooling, but it will probably be wise to commit to finish the year before even considering that. My husband still wants them in school even though he knows even less about what they do there and didn't really know what they were doing in homeschooling either.

 

 

 

 

[Have kids -- will travel]

You've definitely been through a season of change, and it sounds like everyone is surviving it. I'm sorry that things didn't work out like you'd wanted, though.

 

I've recently gone back to work after a number of years at home, so I recognize what you say about the changing relationships and losing that knowledge of knowing everything about them. What has made a huge difference for us is that we have a special talk-about-our-day time. It's so ingrained now that my oldest asks about my day too many times. I even get a good rundown of the day from my youngest. And it feels like a special time together, since it's just the three of us before DH gets home.

 

FWIW, it also took my boys some time to adjust to me being gone longer. They were clingy, and especially from the youngest, there were tears. But sometimes the best decision for the family isn't always what the kids want, or even what is best for the kids. I do believe that it would be better for my kids to have me stay at home, but it's a bad fit for me. And our solution is still pretty darn good for the kids.

 

I get your worries about wanting the kids to be challenged, too. My kids could definitely do harder work than what they do at school, so I stretch them a bit at home. My oldest has music lessons that go at his pace and sports to teach him about hard work. It's not perfect, but nothing ever is.

 

I hope this solution works out well for all of you! 

[Kat w]

Yes,

I'd be talking to the school about accelerated math.

That's where she should be. Odd the didn't recommend it but, ya know how it goes .

 

I would definitely push to get her into accelerated math.

If the teacher won't implement it, go to the principle .

I jus cut through the red tape of going to guidance counselor etc.

 

Your tax dollars pay for school.

Don't let them tell you that you can't have something that is completely reasonable.

 

I'd do like another poster said. Ease into it with museums etc.

 

Take your time implement ing and add as you go.

A few weeks, the kids and you are still adjusting.

 

Is gymnastics everyday? Maybe just do it in the days off from an activity .

 

It's exhausting to go to school all day, do activities, homework and try to after school.

 

I did this when my lil guys were in ps. I kept the activities light so I could after school, but they have learning challenges .

 

Definitely have them put her in accelerated math. You don't want her to forget things . then, ease your way into after schooling , with maybe backing up a bit with activities.

 

Free play is so beneficial to our kids too. Little down time.

 

Good luck :)