advice on child who will enter 9th grade age 12

[mum]

Long story, will try to be quick. I'm a newbie, and was so glad to find this board, I have no-one who understands and has lived the challenge that comes along with the incredible blessing of giftedness. Homeschooled ds, now 11, for 3 years, then public school for 3 years. He was tested, and moved forward a year in PS, and now he is home again-you know all the reasons. He tests in the exceptionally/profoundly gifted region. I kind of want to keep my options open for PS again because I don't feel that I can give him what he needs at home.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions/ encouragement on anything? What have your experiences been with boys graduating at 16? How do they do in residential college situations?

 

I feel I should have some long term plan, but I don't. We're just living in the day.

 

He's adamant he's not going to repeat a grade so that he could be with his age group again (even to repeat it in name, even if we were doing different work! And I could talk forever and not convince him, and I couldn't just mysteriously make it happen and hope he doesn't notice).

 

If I could just say you're staying at home and we'll just enjoy it, then things could probably feel better. But I look at all the great things that some PS's have to offer, and I think that I"m doing him a disservice. (Though any PS that has special programs would mean over 1 hour of driving a day.) And with only 1 at home, it's a bit isolated.

Thanks

[KAR120C]

Long term planning is HARD!! I understand the draw of having all your ducks in a row, but honestly when you're dealing with a kid that's so far out of the box it's hard to know just how it's going to play out. What works beautifully for one might flop for another, due to personality or circumstances or just bad luck... so any amount of planning ahead has to be done "in pencil" as it were.

 

But that said... :) My brother went to college at barely-16 and did great. I would say what prepared him most was that he had had a lot of experience with independent work. He was already employed by then (had to bicycle to work because he didn't have a drivers license! LOL), he had traveled on his own, etc. That's actually what got him into college, even though he'd not technically graduated high school yet. When he went to talk to the admissions office about maybe taking a class or two, and they chatted about what he had been up to (just got back from bicycling from Seattle to Montana), they offered admission on the spot. Now nevermind what I think in retrospect of my parents letting a 15-year-old bicycle cross country on his own (before cell phones even! eek!!)... he was clearly responsible and independent, and that certainly contributed to his success at college.

 

The other thing that I think worked for my brother was that he had exactly one great big area of strength and goal -- no one had any doubts about what his major was going to be, and he's never regretted specializing. His first job when he was fifteen was as a computer programmer, and now almost thirty years later he's a computer programmer. My sister is the same way -- very specialized very early and no regrets. My other brother and I are more dabble-y... I changed my major twice (even though I started at 18 -- not early at all), and now I'm going back for something different.... and that other brother didn't go to college until he was in his forties, after a lot of different jobs and running a business, and then got his degree in a field no one saw coming!

 

So all that to say that a) it's worth putting some effort toward the independence and self-direction part of college-prep, and b) it's worth considering how specialized your DS tends to be, and whether to consider early college as a chance to speed toward a known goal or on the contrary if he's more the sort that should keep his options open as long as he can.

 

I guess that only really addresses one little part of your question ;)

 

The way I think I'm approaching it so far (DS is only 9 -- lots of things can change!) is to just take each year one at a time and consider what our options are. There are programs that we probably won't be taking advantage of, as much as I wish we could.... but on the other hand there are some things we can do as homeschoolers that PS just can't. So basically as long as the benefits here outweigh the benefits in PS, we'll be homeschooling... and I don't plan to change what I do now just in case he might go to PS later. What I do, though, is I do keep transcript records and think in terms of courses and grades and test scores that substantiate what he's done... I would hate for him to go through all the work and not get the credit, should he need to prove his record later.

 

As far as what PS offers, I have to keep in mind that no matter how much it sounds like fun to me, if it doesn't catch his attention it isn't necessarily ideal for him. I love the sound of school plays, and immersion language programs, and team projects, and class trips to interesting places. DS couldn't care less. He likes the sound of doing what interests him at home and joining selected friends for selected projects. And I have to say I see his point. He likes his space, and he likes particular kids in particular settings. A kid he likes to play with isn't necessarily one he likes to work with and vice versa. And because we're homeschooling (and because we have a good solid group of people who know him well enough to know what he's up for), we can be flexible with age groups in ways we couldn't at PS.

 

By the way... have you looked into Davidson? You could certainly find plenty of "BTDT" parents there with a wealth of experience to share.

 

Hope this helps!!

[Starr]

Some colleges have senior year/college first year programs. They take college classes but are grouped together and have a dorm together. A little more comfortable for younger college students. Look at the Clarkson School at Clarkson in Potsdam, NY. I'm sure there are others out there as well.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I'm not a boy, but I went to college at 16 and did just fine. I think it all depends on the kid and his personality. KAR1200 has given you some great advice. I second looking into Davidson. It's a great resource.

 

Your son has already experienced the ups and downs of public school and at 12 he can give some input into what he thinks. Keep in mind that I convinced my parents to let me go to public high school because I knew it would be easy and I was sick of wearing private school uniforms, though. :tongue_smilie:

[Northernmom]

I don't have any BTDT experience to share yet but I can join you for the ride! My 11 year old is a 9th grader now so early college is on our horizon, too. We don't have any concrete plans either, though right now the plan is to have DS stay at the high school level longer than necessary and accumulate extra credits in order to keep him home longer. Of course that could all change in a couple of years. I find I just can't plan that far in advance!

[Jenny in Florida]

My daughter started 9th grade at nine. That was when we transitioned to TWTM approach, partially in hopes it would be challenging enough to slow her down a bit. And I guess it did, since up until then she'd been going through one and a half or two grades each year. As it was, it took her three whole years to finish high school.

 

Sigh.

 

Anyway, she started college at 12 last year and is back this year and still going strong. Of course, she is in a special program designed to accomodate early entrance students. And, although there are lots of similar programs for kids of both genders who are at least 16, this is the only one I know that takes them quite this young, and it's for girls only.

 

I will say that I, too, started college at 16. In my case, it was the local community college, rather than a residential program. But it was not a problem. I did fine, and my only regret is that I didn't get to start earlier.

 

My son is also accelerated, but not quite as radically as my daughter. And, for the moment, at least, he says he doesn't want to leave home as early as his sister. He's thinking 16 will likely be about the right time for him, and I suspect he may be right.

 

As I said, there are actually quite a few colleges across the country that have programs for kids 16 and up. This site is a little out of date, but it might provide a jumping off point for more research:

http://www.earlyentrance.org/Comparison_Chart

 

There's also a fairly useful book published by Prufrock Press: http://www.prufrock.com/productdetails.cfm?PC=604

 

But, honestly, if your son is likely to be ready by about 16, you might do about as well looking at your local community colleges. Lots of them will take youngish students as long as their test scores are good.

 

Good luck! It can be a wild ride.

[mum]

Thanks!! I am learning to just walk in what I have been shown for this year. There are so many pros and cons to it all, but I think that you, Kar 1200, were so right about when one is out of the box what has worked for one may not work for another. So I can pretty much give up looking for someone to follow. That being said, it's lovely to hear other people's experiences and receive encouragement. Northern mom I would enjoy sharing the ride!

Many thanks.

[KAR120C]

I think that you, Kar 1200, were so right about when one is out of the box what has worked for one may not work for another. So I can pretty much give up looking for someone to follow.

It's not so much that you'll never find someone similar, but that out of for instance 100 kids who all test the same, you'll likely only have a personality and situation match with a small handful of them. And while they may be excellent resources, you may still have to tweak things a bit for your own unique child.

 

I have a friend whose DS is a year older than mine, and I have found her advice to be truly invaluable. But I know plenty of people with children about DS's age and with similar test scores who had completely different experiences, and from whom I get almost no "straight out of the box" useful ideas. There's nothing wrong with how they did things for their kids, but their approach would be disastrous for DS.

 

Anyway that's the main reason I would highly recommend looking into DYS if you haven't already. Lots of parents, lots of variety in situation and personalities and approaches, and lots of chances to connect with someone who shares more than just a testing level... kwim?