S/o kids' activities--benefits

[maize]

What benefits have you recognized in your children's lives from their extracurricular activities?

 

I watched my oldest daughter transform from a painfully shy, anxious, lacking self confidence child to a engaged, motivated, happier and more confident person through her involvement in Irish dance. Not a cheap sport, but worth every penny we have put into lessons, shoes, curly wigs and sparkly dresses. She has a place she belongs, an identity she likes, and a supportive group of friends.

 

I feel like my younger kids haven't quite found their thing yet, but they are staying physically active and gaining skills through their involvement in various activities.

[Dmmetler]

Cheer (and tumbling, which she started due to cheer) has done so much for my DD's sensory issues. From the music, to sequencing the routine, to the uniform, makeup and hair, to the different roles. It truly has done more than OT has-which makes it worth it financially.

[Baile]

For our kids, the biggest benefit by far has been the friendships they've made. Our oldest went to public school for kindergarten, and our younger kids have gone to preschool, but none of those friendships survived the transition to homeschooling. Ds11's best friends are the boys he's been playing baseball and hockey with since he was 5 years old, and we're starting to see the same types of friendships growing between our younger boys and their teammates. 

 

Sports were such a huge part of my childhood, and Dh's, that its' hard to see where the benefits start and end. We both went to college on athletic scholarships, and agree that the friendships we made over the course of our athletic careers were worth far more than the money we saved. 

 

[musicianmom]

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Edited May 21, 2022 by musicianmom

[Tita Gidge]

I have a rule that my kids must actively participate in the funding of their activity if they choose to take it to a competitive level. Because of that, the #1 benefit has been learning that they must invest in themselves IF and BEFORE they can expect anyone else to.  On the field this makes them more coachable. In relationships this makes them more respectful and aware of others. At school this makes them more productive students.  For paid work, this is reflected in their work ethic. In terms of being my children, this has eliminated any sense of entitlement they have about the hobbies they wish to have.

 

And they've learned all the usual: confidence, group work, politics, how to humble oneself, how to assert oneself, how to handle frustration, how to show sportsmanship, how to be the best on a team (or in a group), how to be the worst on a team (or in a group), how to read a situation and learn when to stay put (with a club) and when to move on, how to move on when it's in one's best interest even if it's hard to leave a team 'family,' how to manage time, how to train and be disciplined, how hygiene and habits affect physical output, how to negotiate with someone in authority, how to lead, how to follow, knowing when to do either, how to plan or prepare for last minute changes to plans, how to assess one's skills realistically, how to be coachable, the importance of prioritizing (school before sports), how their actions affect others, how to handle when the actions of others affect them, and so much more ....

 

These are things they'd learn anywhere and maybe everywhere - school/co-op, family living, working - but the consistency of sports along with the seasonal breaks have made their sports an ideal place for them to hone these skills. For us it's sports, but I know the same is true for music, art, debate, drama, etc.

[SKL]

Let's see.

• Health / fitness.
• Better cognitive performance and behavior due to the release that vigorous exercise gives.
• Cognitive challenge.  Planning, predicting, making quick decisions, listening, communicating, evaluating results of decisions.
• Self-esteem.
• Responsibility.
• Perseverance.
• Teamwork, sense of community.
• Making friends with wholesome interests.
• Respect.
• Humility.
• Perspective.

[Carrie12345]

I don't want to repeat what everyone else has said, even though most of it applies here.

 

I'd add that they also give ME perspective. When another adult comes up to me and tells me about great things my kids have done or aspects about them that they value, sometimes it's just nice to hear. Other times, it's new information that I may not have otherwise seen on my own, and I gain another level of insight.  I appreciate those chances to step back and see my kids as their own people out in the world, and not just the extensions of me.

(This goes for some slightly negative stuff, too.  :glare: )

 

They also give my kids the opportunity to come home and share things with me.  Earlier in the week, my stb14yo came home and sat on my bed with me and dh (who was with her) for over an hour, telling me all about the things she learned and people she met at the weekly firehouse drill.  I loved every minute!

[kroe1]

When DD15 was a toddler, she wanted to be a boy. We made her take dance lessons since we thought that would help her identify as a girl. That lead to theater work, music, and online broadcasting. Specific benefits are:

 

Poise and grace

Overcoming shyness

A strong work ethic

Ability to memorize huge scripts in a few hours so easier test taking skills

Volunteer opportunities

Can play the piano for fun or to relieve stress

Opportunity to meet many people

Learning to be part of a team

Opportunity to start her own business and all the learning that goes along with that.

 

For DH and I, DD became our lifestyle in that her activities took up all the family time. So, we have made friends, served our own volunteer activities, traveled in groups, learned to sew and costume, make props, work backstage, and sat on performing arts boards. It has been a family adventure.

[Guest]

So many benefits. I was thinking about this just yesterday as I was watching DS' baseball coach explaining/correcting something DS did while batting. I had nothing like this when I was growing up. I feel that I didn't get a necessary dose of constructive crtique. I was profoundly perfectionistic and - while we can never be certain how different/not different that would have been with different upbringing - I see that it is beneficial for my kids as they have each gotten this input from coaches and directors throughout childhood. They are not overly attached to the idea that they must perform flawlessly at everything and that something tragic happened if they made mistakes.

 

Other benefits: a sense of belonging, working for a common goal, triumph and disappointment collectively shared, interacting with a variety of people, perserverance when it's pouring down rain or freezing or ten thousand degrees. Witnessing the payoff of practice, the discipline of having to be somewhere particular on a Saturday morning, just plain getting out of the house/off the computer. Even just seeing that your parents will put effort, time and money into your development is good for kids.

[Guest]

And they've learned all the usual: confidence, group work, politics, how to humble oneself, how to assert oneself, how to handle frustration, how to show sportsmanship, how to be the best on a team (or in a group), how to be the worst on a team (or in a group), how to read a situation and learn when to stay put (with a club) and when to move on, how to move on when it's in one's best interest even if it's hard to leave a team 'family,' how to manage time, how to train and be disciplined, how hygiene and habits affect physical output, how to negotiate with someone in authority, how to lead, how to follow, knowing when to do either, how to plan or prepare for last minute changes to plans, how to assess one's skills realistically, how to be coachable, the importance of prioritizing (school before sports), how their actions affect others, how to handle when the actions of others affect them, and so much more ....

You said this so much better than I did. :D

[musicianmom]

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Edited May 21, 2022 by musicianmom

[UCF612]

My oldest just has a significant mood boost when he's on swim team (90min of swimming 4 days a week). It is just a joy in him that isn't there in the cold months (we're in FL so I'm not talking can't leave the house cold or anything). He does basketball and we run in the cold months but even those don't have quite the same effect. He's told me that being in the water is like being in heaven to him.

 

He's also learning how to push himself (which doesn't come naturally!), how to focus even when those around you aren't, learning to take direction and follow through, making friends, strengthening his body, building his lung capacity (he's asthmatic), and he's seeing that he has a talent and an identity all his own.

[MEmama]

In addition to what everyone else has said, sports help bring us/keep us close. We've made DS's hobbies into our hobbies, and we all truly enjoy sharing the experiences together. DH was inspired to take up running and cycling has become a family passion. We turn races into long weekends, often choosing them on their location and what we'd all like to do there. As we head deeper into the teenage years, having these shared interests will keep us close and connected in a healthy way. The benefits, for our family, extend far, far beyond anything I could have imagined.

[Soror]

All that has been mentioned before, hard work, resilience, perseverance, goal setting, pride from a job/task/move well done. 

 

I'd also add that getting involved as an adult has been a game changer for me. I mean I was always active but I decided to do an activity (silks) that I knew nothing about and had obviously no experience. There are so many times I think about how my lessons have helped me in this and that- silly as I know that sounds. Working through my perfectionism- oh my goodness- doing something so unbelievably hard that my brain can't even comprehend the first time I try it. Yet, I keep working and working at it and what do you know I start to figure it out. I wish I could think of a good example but of course my memory is failing me. Anyway, it is good to do things that you suck at- it is good to do things that are hard- very hard- it is good to laugh at yourself(as the only option is to laugh or cry sometimes after flailing and failing at a skill I can't get). It has helped me to be a more understanding teacher and parent- as often things we are trying to teach the kids that is easy to us but hard to them. Not to mention the confidence of it, I'm proud of the skills that I have acquired- they were hard earned. So, doing something myself makes me appreciate what the kids are doing even more because I'm going through it too. I can commiserate with them. We actually encourage each other and practice together on some things together. 

 

Reading Dweck's Mindset changed my perception but doing Silks put it into action. I know it is considered physical work but the body doesn't work like that. Training the body trains the brain as well. It used to be that physical education was considered an integral part of classical education but now we like to keep the two separated. There is still a bias that states you can be physically gifted or mentally gifted but not both. We need to work the whole body- physical, mental, and emotional.

 

eta- I would say most all of these life skills can be acquired in a variety of ways- I don't think any particular sport/activity are requisites but I do believe some type of physical activity(and I'm a big fan of lifestyle stuff) is required for a healthy life

Edited May 1, 2016 by soror

[Dmmetler]

I will also add that DD11's piano lessons have been wonderful. DD11 has a lot of natural talent and a strong dose of perfectionism, but doesn't love music. Her down to earth, it's OK if it's just for fun teacher who has been willing to follow the child and focus on the process has helped her learn to take perspective and that everything doesn't have to be full-out. She needs that in her life.

[SKL]

I also agree that sports have been good for me as a mom.  Or maybe as a WAHM, which you guys could probably relate to.  It's a positive social and sometimes physical outlet for me.  It's a natural way for me to connect to my kids and teach them life skills they need regardless.