Some days are just such a let down...

[mamamoose]

We had our neuropsych eval and ds definitely has dyslexia, adhd, and dysgraphia. Additionally, he is depressed, has anxiety, and SPOI. He is so charming and wonderful and athletic and I just didn't bargain for this. And it's not "that bad" but facing depression at the age of 8 is just terrifying. We live 80 miles from crappy therapy, to top it off. Decent therapy is 130 miles. I am just feeling overwhelmed.

[scoutingmom]

Hugs

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Yes, we are nearly 4 hours away from many of the things DS needs.  He is facing many of the same things:  Dyslexic, dysgraphic, probably ADHD, plus probably CAPD, and definitely depression, anxiety and extreme developmental vision issues.  Just drove 4 hours back from a detailed visual assessment today, in fact.  

 

It can be very discouraging at times.

[PeterPan]

First, sigh, that's a list.  But now you have answers.  What's SPOI?  Is that something with sensory processing?  

 

I think things can CHANGE.  The ADHD makes their brains very chemically prone to tip toward depression, but it's something that can change.  I don't think the depression is considered a permanent diagnosis.  

 

What therapies are you wanting?  You're saying you're far from therapy.  Maybe go through the list of what you're trying to do, what can change, what you have access to, what you're prioritizing.  I think that, given the emotions going on, I would move up the list having a positive dynamic and a sense of success.  If you put that toward the top of the list, then maybe that drives some of the other choices.  Like maybe hiring a tutor for a while would change some of that, bring a fresh face.  You could evaluate your options through that lens of saying let's change the dynamic, even if the choice isn't perfect.  OneStep talks about this, but with an 8 yo is really real.  You're going to need to balance out intervention time with time doing STRENGTHS and things he's passionate about.  Otherwise he's going to get communicated that he sucks at a lot, instead of the message you really want, that he has a gift to the world along with some glitches.

 

Summer is coming, and that might help you hit a restart button too.  Had you thought about what your plans were for summer?  He's 8.  You consider him rising 2nd or rising 3rd?  We just got our IEP for ds, considered rising 2nd grader by age, similar list.  It's still pretty mundane as far as goals.  You're still going to keep working, taking the next step forward.  Are there things you want to change?  Even like on typing and how to handle the dysgraphia, at this age they're still saying do a blend, some with handwriting and some with typing.  

 

For our IEP, the school looks at where they're at and estimates where they could get in a year (high, medium, low amount of change) and chooses goals.  So, honestly, a medium choice for him for goals is things that look sort of like what might be typical 1st grade work.  And we could be all whatever about that and say we can cover more, but reality is he's plugging along, making progress, and that's how he'll progress.  I think it's easier to kind of quantify how we're going to improve dynamic and consider ourselves responsible for that, than it is to consider ourselves responsible for results.  I can't guarantee results or academic progress with my ds, but I can guarantee I'm doing everything I can to provide an environment where the dynamic and supports are such that he can increasingly do basics like sit down at his seat and work with some one and feel comfortable and successful.

 

Adding: Someone else can have an opinion about whether it ought to be butt in seat.  In his case, not in seat means under table, under cushions, escape behaviors, so really it's just like are we together, are we having a positive, affirming dynamic...  I think it's also easy to lose a sense of CHOICE in this.  I'm bringing in tutors (well right now one), and I was stopping last night and thinking ok, but where's HIS CHOICE in this?  I want him to have ownership in his education, to buy in because he's getting things he wants.  It might not be that way completely, but it can be a lot.  So he's going to get input on what he wants to give the tutor to accomplish some of HIS goals.  That's good stuff!  That's buy-in.  

 

Do the schools in your area provide services?  If you're going to have to drive an hour or two, you're going to want to find an OT that is good with giving you home work and things you can do at home.  We drive 2 hours each way for speech, btw, so I know.  Not fun.  I'd be hard-pressed to say to do that for OT.  I'd probably only do that every other week or once a month.  I would rent or get trained or buy your own equipment.  I think *some* help can be good, but that's a long way for OT.  Now if you could stack OT and some CBT, that would be cool.

 

Honestly, Zengar neurofeedback is turning out to be pretty good for us.  It can improve sleep, depression, attention, etc.  We've gotten a lot of progress this year relative to where we started.  It's our OT who does it.  She talks with me during the neurofeedback (it's a computer thing) to problem solve, then she does balavisx, works on reflexes, etc. with him.  So maybe something like that can give you some progress.  There are places that rent the neurofeedback.  You could use their search engine, see your options.  That's just tossing out ideas there.

 

Getting the report is always hard!  I remember getting ours, and I had signed up for some responsibilities for summer and I just flipped out.  But you'll get there.  You'll make a game plan and start problem solving.  Were there any STRENGTHS the psych identified?  Was there anything good that surprised you?  Did he highlight any things that you ought to focus on as positive things?  Sometimes they'll do that...  And how was he with your homeschooling?  Was he complimentary or did he attack you or imply you weren't doing a good job?

 

 

Edited April 30, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

It's in my fb feed that there's a new JAMA Psychiatry study saying that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy is as successful at preventing relapses as anti-depressants!  The book Sitting Like a Frog is SUPER EASY to implement and beautiful for this age.  You can also get Zones of Regulation or go to the training.  Zones once you to make a page of tools like this and to practice them a couple times a day, so that way when you need the tools, the use of them is automatic and habit.  You could put your SLF time in there or do it at bed or a combo.  Good stuff!  

[mamamoose]

I will be back later to answer in detail when I can get on the computer. So much to think about...

[kbutton]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[sbgrace]

:grouphug:

[frogger]

:grouphug:

[frogger]

:grouphug:

[mamamoose]

First, sigh, that's a list.  But now you have answers.  What's SPOI?  Is that something with sensory processing?  

 

I think things can CHANGE.  The ADHD makes their brains very chemically prone to tip toward depression, but it's something that can change.  I don't think the depression is considered a permanent diagnosis.  

 

What therapies are you wanting?  You're saying you're far from therapy.  Maybe go through the list of what you're trying to do, what can change, what you have access to, what you're prioritizing.  I think that, given the emotions going on, I would move up the list having a positive dynamic and a sense of success.  If you put that toward the top of the list, then maybe that drives some of the other choices.  Like maybe hiring a tutor for a while would change some of that, bring a fresh face.  You could evaluate your options through that lens of saying let's change the dynamic, even if the choice isn't perfect.  OneStep talks about this, but with an 8 yo is really real.  You're going to need to balance out intervention time with time doing STRENGTHS and things he's passionate about.  Otherwise he's going to get communicated that he sucks at a lot, instead of the message you really want, that he has a gift to the world along with some glitches.

 

Summer is coming, and that might help you hit a restart button too.  Had you thought about what your plans were for summer?  He's 8.  You consider him rising 2nd or rising 3rd?  We just got our IEP for ds, considered rising 2nd grader by age, similar list.  It's still pretty mundane as far as goals.  You're still going to keep working, taking the next step forward.  Are there things you want to change?  Even like on typing and how to handle the dysgraphia, at this age they're still saying do a blend, some with handwriting and some with typing.  

 

For our IEP, the school looks at where they're at and estimates where they could get in a year (high, medium, low amount of change) and chooses goals.  So, honestly, a medium choice for him for goals is things that look sort of like what might be typical 1st grade work.  And we could be all whatever about that and say we can cover more, but reality is he's plugging along, making progress, and that's how he'll progress.  I think it's easier to kind of quantify how we're going to improve dynamic and consider ourselves responsible for that, than it is to consider ourselves responsible for results.  I can't guarantee results or academic progress with my ds, but I can guarantee I'm doing everything I can to provide an environment where the dynamic and supports are such that he can increasingly do basics like sit down at his seat and work with some one and feel comfortable and successful.

 

Adding: Someone else can have an opinion about whether it ought to be butt in seat.  In his case, not in seat means under table, under cushions, escape behaviors, so really it's just like are we together, are we having a positive, affirming dynamic...  I think it's also easy to lose a sense of CHOICE in this.  I'm bringing in tutors (well right now one), and I was stopping last night and thinking ok, but where's HIS CHOICE in this?  I want him to have ownership in his education, to buy in because he's getting things he wants.  It might not be that way completely, but it can be a lot.  So he's going to get input on what he wants to give the tutor to accomplish some of HIS goals.  That's good stuff!  That's buy-in.  

 

Do the schools in your area provide services?  If you're going to have to drive an hour or two, you're going to want to find an OT that is good with giving you home work and things you can do at home.  We drive 2 hours each way for speech, btw, so I know.  Not fun.  I'd be hard-pressed to say to do that for OT.  I'd probably only do that every other week or once a month.  I would rent or get trained or buy your own equipment.  I think *some* help can be good, but that's a long way for OT.  Now if you could stack OT and some CBT, that would be cool.

 

Honestly, Zengar neurofeedback is turning out to be pretty good for us.  It can improve sleep, depression, attention, etc.  We've gotten a lot of progress this year relative to where we started.  It's our OT who does it.  She talks with me during the neurofeedback (it's a computer thing) to problem solve, then she does balavisx, works on reflexes, etc. with him.  So maybe something like that can give you some progress.  There are places that rent the neurofeedback.  You could use their search engine, see your options.  That's just tossing out ideas there.

 

Getting the report is always hard!  I remember getting ours, and I had signed up for some responsibilities for summer and I just flipped out.  But you'll get there.  You'll make a game plan and start problem solving.  Were there any STRENGTHS the psych identified?  Was there anything good that surprised you?  Did he highlight any things that you ought to focus on as positive things?  Sometimes they'll do that...  And how was he with your homeschooling?  Was he complimentary or did he attack you or imply you weren't doing a good job?

SPOI is Slow Processing of Information, and basically its an inability to process anything very quickly. It very accurately describes him, actually. The doctor describes it like a funnel--you poor anything into a funnel too fast and it will overflow. That is how he is. The manifestation of it is ADHD, along with depression and anxiety, and means the ADHD is essentially immune to medication. He also has dyslexia and dysgraphia, which we knew going in. 

 

I don't know what therapy I might want, but certainly some kind of counseling would go a long way toward helping him cope with negative feelings. We already have a Barton tutor.

 

He is truly NOT passionate about much of anything, except wrestling. He is not only passionate about that but he is also extremely good at it. He does not have other hobbies. Because he is dysgraphic, legos are frustrating. 

 

I consider him a rising 3rd grader. He is already doing 3rd grade math, but he has not enjoyed much school at all. I thought he would enjoy studying pyramids and then making a pyramid city but that just brought tears of frustrations for us both. He is EXTREMELY negative.

 

There are no school services, at least not for the upcoming year. We will be applying for the following year but there is a one year delay. I am not sure I will take him at that point, but at least I will have the option!

 

We are looking at neurofeedback, but its expensive and 200 miles away, and we have to go for 15 weeks and it would be 2 sessions per week. I am guessing that will be a route we will go--I am certain there isn't anywhere I can rent it anywhere close to us.

 

The neuropsych told me that home was the best place for him, that the school could not provide services for a child like him, and that it likely contributed to his negativity and depression. I already knew that to be the case. I feel we have made some progress, but not as much as I had hoped. 

 

My main frustration pretty much lies in what the other thread on this forum is expressing--I am sad to find out things will be tough for him long term. I knew it was going to be, but the confirmation just made me sad.

[PeterPan]

I haven't heard of anybody labeling low processing speed like that.  I'm googling it and finding nothing.  Is your psych saying there's some label BEYOND just run of the mill low processing speed?  I just honestly haven't heard anybody say that, and we've got lots of people here with kids with varying degrees of low.  We've had a number of people with gifted kids who had processing speed in the single digits.  That's ugly!  

 

Now, interestingly, a couple of those people did Interactive Metronome and got the processing speed to bump from single digits to 30s percentiles.  That was a huge improvement and got them much more functional!  

 

So I'm curious how low it is?  And to say it will be resistant to meds?  I've just never heard that either.  I agree that sounds really dismal.  I'd just want to make sure you're understanding that all correctly, because it's outside of my experience.  We've had people bump processing speed with Interactive Metronome.  Another person here just got told that some software (cognitive therapy) has a track record of bumping processing speed.  Meds are known to bump processing speed.  So is what the psych is saying is going on radically different?  

 

I'm just trying to give you some hope here.  Like maybe get a 2nd opinion or something.

Edited May 3, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[mamamoose]

Well there is no second opinion, not anywhere within a day's drive. He does not think any of the typical meds for adhd will be at all effective for him and will likely make his depression and anxiety worse, not better. We have tried stimulants in the past and they are completely ineffective. He suggested another med, and said we could try it, but I am really opposed to medication of any kind in a growing body, and I don't think there is enough long term research on any of the meds out there to medicate.

 

I can't find a lot of info on the web about it either, and that's frustrating. He did not give us a number, but it's not drastically low--and actually, from the standpoint of depression/anxiety, the fact that it's not really low might actually explain why he is so emotional about his struggles. He was actually surprised he wasn't physically slow in anything except fine motor, so I don't k ow how to improve that. I also don't k ow anything about any of the treatments you mentioned so I need to look into that!

[mamamoose]

Is the interactive metronome something that can be taught in an office and executed at home. It looks like there are providers 120-200 miles from us which is doable but only biweekly.

[PeterPan]

Heathermomster has posted instructions to do it at home yourself for free with a free app.  Won't be as good as with a therapist, but the price is right.  Or try the once a week with a provider and have them give you homework.  Then you'd get info on how to target his issues precisely.

[Tiramisu]

The SPOI is interesting. My oldest has specifically described her processing like information having to go through a funnel. She can only process one thing at a time and she has an awareness of other stuff having to wait as each chunk goes through. Her actual processing speed is normal if the quantity of information hitting her is small. FWIW, I think of her as having an ASD type of processing in general (spd, capd, visual processing and motor weaknesses) but without a diagnosis.

 

Then up comes another kiddo and she also has a very normal processing speed but the np says she cannot process complex visual information and we need to make sure she is being fed one piece at a time. She got an ASD diagnosis and I'd bet it's the visual processing that's affecting the social.

 

For these reasons, I suspect this type of processing, call it SPOI, is common to people with spectrum characteristics.

 

One of my DDs did IM and it certainly helped her multitask. Of course, she is working on that skill on her own, too, by doing her schoolwork while she does other things. It drives me crazy but it's had a good impact. She can get through a Saxon algebra lesson in an hour while watching a show and make very few mistakes. Even with no distractions, none of my other kids could do that. The np says multitasking like that gives her brain juice. DD says it keeps her brain from going farther off. I am totally digressing with thoughts of the IM.

 

What I wanted to talk about is meds. If you have a genuine everyday-is-hard problem that's affecting relationships and self-esteem, I wouldn't write them off. A couple of my kids obviously have ADHD except they don't technically have it; it's other stuff masquerading as ADHD, which sounds similar to the OPs situation. And FWIW, meds help the kid who is on them. They help much more with impulsivity and hyperactivity than with attention. Others on the forum have seen the same with kids on the spectrum. And the OT noticed she can attend to more things at once while medicated. And I know that she completes her daily work while on meds with a lot fewer disruptions. And what I have to say about that is, it has had a revolutionary impact on her self-esteem, which was crippling before. It's easy to fall into acting like a poop when you think you're a poop but when you start to believe you are capable, you act more capable and your whole life starts to become more positive. I wish I had written that in caps. :)

[PeterPan]

Adding, when you get the written report it should have some numbers.  Processing speed is part of the WISC (IQ), so look in there.

[PeterPan]

Misu, that's a really good point that while overall processing speed can be hard to move, reality is you can target specific aspects and get some movement.  VT will focus on visual processing speed.  Etc. etc.  

 

I just think downer practitioners are really saying I DON'T HAVE THE SKILLS TO HELP YOU, which is not the same as NO ONE can help you.  SLPs can be like that about apraxia (what my ds has), because reality is apraxia is hard to treat!!  But does that mean I have to believe the SLP who said they would just watch?  Obviously not.  And the next person WAS able to help him.  So me, I'm just always skeptical when some practitioner says xyz is HOPELESS.  Maybe some situations are, but usually that's not completely the case.  There's probably some budge somewhere, somehow.  Might be adaptations he makes.  Might be getting more connectivity in the brain to get *some* things working better.  There's probably *something* that can be done to help *some*.  We've had multiple people on the boards go from processing speed in the single digits to the 30s.  

 

Have you gotten the written report yet?  Hopefully he'll have more in there to help you.  :)

[PeterPan]

I don't know what therapy I might want, but certainly some kind of counseling would go a long way toward helping him cope with negative feelings. We already have a Barton tutor.

 

He is truly NOT passionate about much of anything, except wrestling. He is not only passionate about that but he is also extremely good at it. He does not have other hobbies. Because he is dysgraphic, legos are frustrating. 

 

I consider him a rising 3rd grader. He is already doing 3rd grade math, but he has not enjoyed much school at all. I thought he would enjoy studying pyramids and then making a pyramid city but that just brought tears of frustrations for us both. He is EXTREMELY negative.

 

 

He's passionate about wrestling?  That's fabulous!  Let him wrestle a lot!!  My ds, like yours, has a boatload of challenges.  I keep him in a lot of athletics because it's a strong point for him.  Maybe he doesn't medal as much as other boys, but it's something he does well.  I just added Crossfit.  Maybe add a 2nd thing for summer?  Or take up running or something?  

 

Has he had an OT eval?  It would be nice if he could get one.  Sometimes it's OTs who do the IM.  That might explain the lego thing.  Not every kid with dysgraphia struggles with legos.  He might have a fine motor issue.

 

Why did he struggle with the pyramid city?  How does he do with other shared imaginative play?

 

Are you using any techniques for anxiety?  Amazon.com: helping your anxious child  I just got this book from the library.  The Social Thinking people recommend it.  The school is putting some things for anxiety into ds' IEP, and a lot of it is about structure, having even more clear expectations.  I know I've tried, and when I bring the people in they're like ADD THIS, ADD THIS, ADD THIS...  I mean, really, by the time you see what they do, it's like 4 and 5 layers of structure!  I kid you not.  It just goes so far beyond what I would/could have dreamed for myself.  

 

I *think* maybe the Social Thinking people have a list of practitioners who have done their training.  You could see if someone has that training and could do the Social Thinking materials with him or give you a consult.  I've actually had a behaviorist in my house to watch us homeschool.  Then she could talk with me straight about what to change to improve our dynamic.  

 

I'm just tossing out ideas for you here, kwim?  This is stuff we're doing.  So to me, if you know that his super low processing speed is leaving him so struggling that he's really leaning toward anxiety and depression, then you're going to need to use techniques that work for anxiety.  I think multiple people would market to this.  Yes, a psych or counselor doing CBT.  Yes a behaviorist who could help you problem solve in your home and do intervention work with him.  It sounds like it's hard for you to find things, so I'm just throwing out lots of ways you could look.

 

Mindfulness won't bump his processing speed, but it does improve EF by 30%.  EF includes self-regulation.  Mindfulness is also powerful with depression, and a recent study found that it kept back recurrence of depression as well as meds.  The book you want for that is Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents)  It's super easy to implement (just pop in your cd player), and it works.  Very nice, peaceful, something you can sit together and do.  

 

Superflex, from the Social Thinking people, has some really terrific Unthinkables posters and things.  You might check it out to see if anything there seems spot-on.  The Social Thinking website lets you search and filter by diagnosis, so you could try that as well.  Then you know what you're trying to implement or what you're trying to find someone else to help you implement.

Edited May 3, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[kbutton]

I think I would make things easier than they have to be right now, provide tons of structure, and then slowly add in challenges. Anxiety is very difficult, but making him feel competent might help.

[mamamoose]

Our day is already very structured. We eat meals at the same time every day, we wake and go to bed at the same time, we have a pretty strict school schedule and adhere to it. He absolutely know what's coming next, all the time. If there is an upcoming event, we discuss it at the beginning of the week, etc. We eat wholesome organic meals and avoid processed meats and other foods, we all exercise, etc.

[mamamoose]

I will be back later to discuss all Elizabeth posted when I can look into it in more detail--very informative!

[PeterPan]

Believe it or not, there's a lot more structure a therapist could have you add.  I thought I had structure, because we have our rigid routines, our visual schedule, blah blah.  They had me add multiple, multiple more layers of structure.  It's physical structure like how the materials are organized.  It's timers and tokens and things we move.  It's showing him how many steps there are in what we're doing.  It's redundant structure.

 

But really, look at that book and the ST materials.  It's not like structure is the *only* tool you have.  :)

Edited May 4, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[texasmama]

:grouphug:

 

This is a cut and paste of a post I made recently in another thread.  It is regarding my similarly aged dd.  I also have a son with ASD, and your son has a lot of those characteristics so it may be an eventual diagnosis that  ties it all together.  Along with ASD comes anxiety, usually, and often negative thinking/perfectionism.  That is my ASD kid.  He is the reason we homeschool.  He had terrible separation anxiety in a small, private school in first grade.

 

Here is my anxiety post and please take what you need and leave the rest because this child has no other diagnoses and is now functioning very well:

 

I am a therapist, and I had a 9 year old with crippling anxiety which started after dh's grandmother lived with us the last two months of her life and then passed away at the age of 96.

 

What we did that had at least some benefit:  Went to a therapist who used a very specific approach (Short-term Soluction Focused Trauma therapy), went to a grief group for kids (not relevant for your dd), added a high quality magnesium supplement to her diet, moved her in with a sibling to sleep at night, got a night light, got an amber necklace (not sure if this helped but she believed it did), and I did two programs at home with her listed below.  These are programs that any parent can use to help their kids.  I also recommend Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar Chansky.  That one is a book for parents to read.

 

http://www.amazon.co...eywords=mind up

 

http://www.amazon.co...arch_detailpage

 

You need a new therapist.  This one has been honest that she does not know how to help your dd, and that is good.  Now you can move on.  Do not focus on the after life and spiritual issues of death is my advice.  Your dd is at a concrete stage of development, and death is very abstract.  Her issue is not the afterlife - it is the fear of losing a parent.  Much anxiety is passed on biologically or through modeling.  Anxiety in kids this age (or any age...or adults) is very, very common.)  The longer anxiety goes on, the more the brain becomes used to having a heightened response.  

 

When my dd was anxious, I hit it hard and with everything I could do.  We spent a few months absolutely miserable, and then the things we were doing began to work.  She is doing very well now.  In reality, she spent about 2 1/2 months in therapy.  We still attend a once a month grief group (after six months).  We discontinued the programs and the supplements.  She still wears the amber necklace.  We are almost a year post death of dh's grandmother.

 

 

[MistyMountain]

I am dealing with similar struggles. I found the book Bright Kids Who Can't Keep helpful for reading about the processing speed aspect. It addressed how sometimes depression itself can make processing slower and that having a slow processing speed does make a kid prone to depression due to frustration. It is something that often occurs with dyslexia and ADHD or other learning disorders. Most kids with slow processing have IEPs or 504 plans if they go to school.

 

There was info on some of the causes and how it manifests in home life and school life. I think the funnel analogyis a good one. Multi tasking is something that is very difficult and I notice that having too much new info at onces does not work. The one thing I find hard though is that are no methods specifically for slow processing speed. There are things they recommend looking for but nothing specifically tailored for it. One time they recommended that a lot of practice is needed for things to reach automacy but then right after that they said busy work was not good. How you know what things to practice or when that practicing is busy work. Lol

Edited May 4, 2016 by MistyMountain

[lizlatorre]

You've had lots of good feedback on the report and therapy ideas - I have a thought about the day to day depression and lack of interest in school/learning. We have gone through this with my ds (mixed receptive/expressive language disorder and processing issues). What helps him if we take a "break" by making school a totally success oriented experience for a window of time (2-6 weeks). Math that is review, but fun (games or a different book for a few week). Reading and writing about subjects of interest. Due to his language issues, videos are helpful. Once we found a little cartoon about the founder of legos, which led to research and the writing of a three paragraph report about the man. Maybe if wrestling is a passion for your ds, there is a way to let that fuel the reading and writing for a bit. For our ds, having a breather where everything doesn't seem so hard and where he gets to choose some of the work has helped to reduce despression and anxiety.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

:grouphug:  :grouphug: :grouphug: .  I don't have anything to add except to say that the ladies here have been an invaluable source of support for me and I always feel better after sharing.  I wish the best for you and your son. 

 

[blessed2fosteradopt]

You've had lots of good feedback on the report and therapy ideas - I have a thought about the day to day depression and lack of interest in school/learning. We have gone through this with my ds (mixed receptive/expressive language disorder and processing issues). What helps him if we take a "break" by making school a totally success oriented experience for a window of time (2-6 weeks). Math that is review, but fun (games or a different book for a few week). Reading and writing about subjects of interest. Due to his language issues, videos are helpful. Once we found a little cartoon about the founder of legos, which led to research and the writing of a three paragraph report about the man. Maybe if wrestling is a passion for your ds, there is a way to let that fuel the reading and writing for a bit. For our ds, having a breather where everything doesn't seem so hard and where he gets to choose some of the work has helped to reduce despression and anxiety.

My daughter has been anxious lately and I agree with this.  She likes to write her own version of graphic novels and I let her do that most of the day.  She also loves owls so we researched them today.  We watched a video on weather.  We are just taking it easy for now.  She is still learning but it doesn't seem like a chore at the moment and we are both getting a bit of a break.

[mamamoose]

Everyone is so helpful and your thoughts and encouragement are very welcome--thank you all!

 

Ds exhibits many of the same emotions and behavioral issues my brother did as a child--in fact I often call him by my brother's name in moments of frustration, by complete accident. And my family has issues with many mental illnesses--from depression to bipolar disorder (mild, but its there), and my grandfather had Asberger's, we believe. Its hard to say with him because he was also isolated at the age of 11 and put to work caring for part of my family's ranch in a remote part of the back country and I am sure that affected his social skills. Ds is a very social kid, though. He loved the social aspect of school and is very interactive at church activities. He is great friends with his wrestling buddies. He is hyperactive but its more noticeable in a situation where he has to focus--he can sit through church on Sundays as good as any other 8 year old boy, as far as I can tell. Most of the time people are blown away that he suffers from anxiety and depression, if they find out or we share with them. He appears to be functional for the most part. He is also VERY smart--two weeks ago at our Bible study, we were discussing the "Hall of Faith" in Hebrews, and the leader had all the men look up the people mentioned, and ds interrupted each time to make corrections to their version of it, with excessive detail! It was almost like I remember "Rain Man" but ds appears more "normal" for lack of a better word. I am sorry I don't have a better word because I hate that. 

 

His anxiety is pretty mild and not related to a particular instance, although school makes it worse, and any mention of public school sends him into a frenzy, lol. 

 

I did buy a mammoth math work text and started him in the beginning part of 2nd grade, even though he is capable and doing 3rd grade math right now, and he still says he can't do it. Its really simple math. I need him to have busy work and he needs the constant repetition but honestly, its frustrating to see him so frustrated all the time. Its not that he can't do the problems. Yesterday he sat down, was in the right frame of mind, and cranked out 3 pages in 15 minutes. The day before? One awful page in 30 minutes. But I can't wait around for good days, because sometimes its WEEKS in between.

 

Elizabeth--that's the kind of therapy I hope to find, but living where we live has been so hard. I haven't found a therapist of any kind with whom I connected, AND its a long drive just to try one out! What kind of therapist should I be seeking out, specifically?

[PeterPan]

You could look for a BCBA (board certified behavioral analyst) and use that as a way to connect with resources.  Even if the person is too far, they might have some contacts for you.  When I don't know, I just call people up and ask for help.  Actually, I call and act dumb.  :)  But yes, just call.  A BCBA, sometimes an OT or SLP.  Just make some calls, do some emailing, see what people can point you to. 

 

If you can't find a therapist, you can also buy the materials yourself.  Go to www.socialthinking.com and look at their getting started article.