My daughter is 15 and in 9th grade. She lacks self-motivation and a strong work ethic. She has the brains & ability to excel in school, but it's like pulling teeth to get her to do her best. Please help me critique this paper that she wrote. TKAM is my favorite book, so I need some objective feedback here. I know there are some grammatical errors, as well as some punctuation issues. Additionally, I feel that there are some problems with content. She had one week to work on this paper, but she threw it together the last two days before it was due. It seems rushed to me. Help me to give her some feedback. Thanks!
To Kill A Mockingbird
Have you ever read a book that moved you? Or perhaps a book that made the characters feel so real that you felt all the emotions that the characters themselves felt? To Kill A Mockingbird was an instant classic. I believe it became that because both the story and characters were so deep. This book shows you the innocence of childhood, the injustice caused by racism, and the great respect and hard work one man was capable of having.
To Kill A Mockingbird displays the amount of injustice and racism back in the 1930’s. It focuses on the trial of a man named Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white woman known as Mayella Ewell. Atticus Finch is a lawyer assigned to defend Tom. This all takes place in Maycomb Alabama. The people of Maycomb are very prejudice and are all for Mayella’s story without thinking twice. Atticus is a very respectable and determined man, and is willing to do everything to help Tom; despite the fact he pretty much knows Tom has no chance of winning the case against Mayella. The reason why is very sad, but very true for most cases like this, it’s all because of Tom’s skin color.
When the trial starts, both Mayella and her father, Bob, tell everyone it was Tom who took advantage of her. Bob tells the people that he came home to see Tom with Mayella, and Mayella agrees and goes on to say how Tom beat and raped her. Keep in mind, no physical evidence, or evidence of any kind pointed to Tom being the one who beat her.
When Atticus questions Tom, Tom says he did not harm Mayella in anyway. He does say that Mayella had invited him into her home, saying that she had some work for him to do. He says that Mayella tried to seduce him and kissed him. He then ran because he was afraid. Back then, it was looked greatly down upon for a white woman to tempt a black man. Bob, who walked in on this, then beat Mayella and told everyone Tom was the one who had beaten her. Atticus continued to give evidence supporting Tom’s story, which everyone knew was true, in hopes of letting an innocent man go free.
It’s sad to say, but Tom was found guilty of a crime he did not commit. Everyone knew Tom was no rapist or woman-beater, but in their minds he was the lesser person because of his skin color. Even though this is not a true story, it was something that happened all the time. People lost their freedom because they didn’t have the “right” skin color. The injustice that Tom had, many people still have today. Racism is still very much alive, which breaks my heart. I inspire to be an Atticus Finch in a world filled with Ewells. Everyone is perfect, no matter their race. All men are created equal, which is something we should never forget.