s/o shame - Hundreds every month for sports?

[Katy]

Paying for the first year and thereafter having them earn the money themselves is a fantastic idea.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I know many people who got presidential scholarships to state universities. If you can manage a 4.0 or higher in high school and decent test scores you can probably get free tuition and a work study program to cover room & board. I went to a private university, only had a 3.8 in high school, and still managed a full tuition scholarship. I only had to pay for room & board, which was less than tuition at in state public schools. My sister in law had a similar situation at an in-state private school.

 

If I had it to do all over again I would have opted for the in-state school instead. I didn't even try to financial aid there. I could have lived at home for free.

Yes, my older 3 kids have done this. I don't spend $100/ month on books let alone sports, dance, music, etc. It's not a priority for us but to each his own I guess.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Full scholarships? Like what? Where? I know there are all sorts of organizations that offer various scholarships, but these all tend to be fairly small amounts.

 

I got the impression this was the other way around, but I always hoped I was wrong.

On the basis of grades/SAT scores ( for which we did no prep) my kids have mostly or completely had college paid for at 2 different state schools and a small private. With working they have no loans. They aren't unusually bright so it happens. ( They also applied for and received other scholarships locally.)

[wendy not in HI]

Travel Volleyball Teams are big business where we live.  It costs about fifty to a hundred dollars to try out, and most girls tried out for several teams, and if you make the team it can be anywhere from $1800 to $3000+ for the season.  That doesn't include the cost of hotels if your tournament is out of town.

 

Add in camps which can run a couple hundred dollars for a weekend to much much more for a week-long sleep away...  Crazy!!

 

Tennis is also crazy expensive.  Here's the prices for the closest place to us for indoor tennis during the winter - you needed to join the club - $300 to join.  There is a monthly fee for being a member $100 a month.  Then you pay to join a group at your level $200 or so for the 6 week session, to go out and play once a week - it is recommended that you sign up for 2 days.  Then you probably also want to take lessons... I can't remember how much... my brain shut down when I tried to start adding it up...  That doesn't include rackets or restringing or shoes or bags or skirts or tournaments or.... The country club was much more.  Tennis was expensive in the last place we lived, but nothing like it is here.  Unfortunately (fortunately??) at the high school, tennis and track happen at the same time, so my dd decided to focus on pole vault and dropped tennis.  She and her dad play for free at the courts in our neighborhood.  

 

Music lessons are also not cheap.  The cost of a medium nice violin was more than a couple of cars we have owned....

 

 

PS - we don't do kids' activities in hopes of a college scholarship. We do them because the kids love them and we want them to be active and well rounded.  My dd #2 who pole vaults is an awesome athlete.  She would love to vault in college, and was sort of recruited by 2 smaller schools.  Unfortunately her college of choice has one of the best track programs in the country, and though she is an awesome vaulter, she is not THAT awesome.  I am not surprised or disappointed about that.  So she won't do track in college, but I think that's a blessing.  What does one do with a degree in track?? (just kidding) Or how does one study Chemistry if you also have to attend meets around the country? (not kidding, I do wonder about the studies/sports balance in college) I don't expect my music kids to study music in college either.  It is rare for any parent I know to discuss the hope for a college scholarship based on sports.  We do have a friend competing this weekend in a large national track meet who will be attending college on a track scholarship.  He is amazing!  The big cost of his sport is new shoes every few months.  He does not have a personal trainer or a nutritionist.  He just runs really fast.

 

PPS - a friend once told me that college would be cheap compared to the travel softball/basketball that her daughter was involved in. She was not planning on her daughter getting a sports scholarship, but she expected to roll over the "kid sports" line item on her budget right into the "housing payment" slot.  So, it's like a scholarship, right?

 

Edited April 29, 2016 by wendy not in HI

[Jan in SC]

I have a child that plays travel baseball. While it is expensive, it is nothing compared to a child who does musical theatre in a serious way. Holy cow. It is shocking.

You can't do it for the scholarship. You do it because your child loves it and you see growth and development that can't be gained (by that specific child) in other ways. Our rules are- you do your best, and we'll find a way to do it, and when it's not fun for you, there will be no pressure from us for you to continue. (That doesn't mean that they can quit during a season or show.)

[JumpyTheFrog]

Another benefit from gymnastics has been that he gets enough hours with the same kids every week to make friends. He never made any friends at activities that only met once or twice a week (soccer, TKD, Sunday School, youth theater) because the kids weren't together enough. The kids in the neighborhood only come out to play maybe once a month and we aren't near family and I want him to have friends.

[Butter]

And you never know when a kid will hit a wall, get injured, or lose interest. There is a mom at our gym (our kids are SIX!) who commutes from the next CITY. She said, "When she gets a college scholarship, it will all be worth it." And I mentioned, sheepishly, that gymnastics will likely cost her several times what college would. And she said they were considering it a prepayment plan. And that if she quit it "will all have been for nothing." I didn't have words y'all. Gymnastics has a TREMENDOUS attrition rate.

 

My cousin was an elite level gymnast.  She did get a full ride scholarship (to William and Mary) for it.  Most expensive college scholarship ever.

 

We were spending a few hundred a month for taekwondo.  But all 6 of us do it.  And my older two are training to be instructors.  It's what my oldest wants to do for a living.  At least one member of the family is there 4-5 days a week taking classes.  My daughter works at our taekwondo studio now so the costs are less now.  Most people pay around $100/kid per month (2 classes a week).  Once you pay for two people, you get everyone in the family.

 

Yes, sports are expensive.

[gingersmom]

My daughter was on a skating team that costs thousands/year.

 

Skates were another $1000 (you hoped their foot didn't grow fast and they would last)

 

$400/month for lessons plus another $100 for ice time

 

Then you (parents) had to drive to completions out of state and pay for hotel, food, etc.

 

Not to mention the insane mileage I put in my car.

 

Sunday morning practices at 6am anyone?

[busymotherof4]

Given the whole scholarship thing it doesn't seem like a terrible investment. Nobody here has an athletic bone in their body though.

 

I once knew a woman who had a son that got a scholarship for skiing. I thought that was pretty cool. Skiing is definitely not inexpensive though.

Never consider a sport a financial investment. I could pay for my son to go to college if I had been investing the money we have spent on gymnastics. His meet next week will cost us a few thousand. It will be our most expensive of the year but it's the one that matters for college recruiters (nationals). His entry fee$165. New pommel pants and shorts $50. 1 week of hotel, gas for two 17 hour drives, food for the week, coaches fee $350, 2 one way plane tickets so my husband and daughter can come watch $350, tickets to watch $95 for me (all event pass), $30 a session for my husband( could be 2 sessions), probably will get him a t-shirt for $30. Add in some private lessons at $60 an hour plus his normal fees of $230 per month(a bargain)

My son has gained so much by competing in gymnastics but I could never count it as a financial investment.

[Caclcoca]

We spend a lot of money every month on swim team.  Monthly fees, meet fees, hotels for out of town meets can add up quickly.  Also equipment has to be replaced.  My kids love it, so I am thankful we can make it work. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Never consider a sport a financial investment. I could pay for my son to go to college if I had been investing the money we have spent on gymnastics. His meet next week will cost us a few thousand. It will be our most expensive of the year but it's the one that matters for college recruiters (nationals).

Did he make it to nationals? If so, congratulations! Tigger finally made it to regionals and we enjoyed our first actual vacation at a meet instead of trying to make it a day trip or just stay one night.

[Murphy101]

The insistence that "it'll be worth if/when they get to college" is very bothersome to me.

 

My kids ice skate and have art lessons and a couple other things.

 

It's worth it bc they are growing a talent of interest they enjoy. College scholarship or not.

 

I don't have any expectation that they will even still be interested in the same passions 10 years from now, much less profiting from it. And I'm okay with that.

[purplejackmama]

Average travel team baseball costs around here are in the range of $3,000 a year. That's just for the kid to play and doesn't include costs incurred by the parents to get the kid to/from the games (which involves all the normal travel costs -- hotels, food, gas, etc.).

And the fancy BBCOR bats!! There are kids on my son's team with thousands of dollars in bats!

[LucyStoner]

Connecting back to the shame article, I think that a lot of middle class and affluent parents aren't comfortable saying, I'm sorry but we can't afford that. My sibling and I played softball. Today, with the emphasis on travel and private coaching, my parents would never have been able to afford it for one let alone both. As it was, we afforded the (competitive) league because of scholarships and my parents volunteering. We had battered old equipment (not a problem) and lefty me threw right so my lefty sibling could have the only left handed glove we had (kinda a problem but I did ok, lol). But there were a lot of things we might have liked to do about which my parents just had to say "I'm sorry, it's not going to happen." We learned not to ask or to find a way to pay ourselves before we asked, lol. I get that it's hard to say no to something that a kid really wants to do. I make it a priority to pay for the things my sons want to do. But honestly, if we couldn't do it, we wouldn't do it. As it is, we do explain how doing one thing means not doing something else. Our kids get their needs and a lot of their wants but they also know that we have a budget we have to live within. Yes the budget may be tighter now than it would have been earlier due to inflation and wage levels and other systemic issues, but having a budget is nothing to be afraid to talk about. A lot of parents don't have the money for it but do it anyway. Their spending/debt, their choice but it might be a little less of a shock for kids to have to economize about college or a wedding if they had ever heard their parents be open and honest about their financial limits before.

Edited April 30, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Catalytic]

I know someone with a kid on an elite traveling hockey team. They pay close to $30,000 a year when all is said and done.

My partner at work has a daughter who does competitive cheer. They probably paid $15,000 last year including travel.

 

Holy...(the rest of my thought isn't fit to post)

[busymotherof4]

Did he make it to nationals? If so, congratulations! Tigger finally made it to regionals and we enjoyed our first actual vacation at a meet instead of trying to make it a day trip or just stay one night.

Yes. This is his 1st time making nationals. Wish is was a fun vacation spot but we are spending next week in Battle Creek, MI.

[Tap]

We paid $400-500 each month for swimming year round, and we did not travel to any meet that required a hotel stay/air fare.   Meet fees, basic travel, coaching, pools, suits etc.

 

It wasn't uncommon for those who traveled beyond state level to pay $10,000+ year.  But honestly, that is true of any sport that goes beyond state level.  If you are a better athlete than the others in your state, you have to travel to other states to compete.

 

 

 

DD17 does public high school cheer.  It costs us $1000 for the first season (3 months) a couple hundred for the next season (already have the uniform, camps are over,  etc).  That doesn't include transportation costs or special items that always pop up like "dress like a super hero day at camp".  All the extra t-shirts and special spirit events add a few hundred to that total.  We easily spend $2000 per year on publc school cheer.  :banghead:   

[J-rap]

I know of some schools that pretty much require you (unofficially, but...) to be in a club during the off-season.  So, three months of the year you play soccer through the school, for example, and nine months you play through a club.  It can be very pricey.  It frustrates me that it's becoming like that in some of the metro areas around here, but I understand why families who participate, do.

[madteaparty]

This thread is making me happy DS doesn't do any sports competitively. "Go run to the firehouse and back" is the extent of our athletic involvement currently :)

Well, skiing, but little local ski hill is 200 for the season pass. We did travel to Canada and Switzerland this year for skiing because no snow near us, but that's family vacation, and I still seem to have come out ahead of the hockey parents, $$ wise!

[Mom-ninja.]

Hmm...  I guess I'm grateful my kids aren't that athletic then.  

 

My oldest is not athletic. However, we spend hundreds a month on music classes. 

[Julie Smith]

I sometimes joke about "why this sport and not that one". Because Eldest loves long distance running. Twice a week we meet up with other people at the running store and go for a 5 to 7Km run. Eldest runs the whole route and I run with Youngest about half of it and then walk back. 

 

So when I running behind my boys I joke, "If they picked soccer I could just sit on a bench."

 

But I suppose you can't pick a much cheaper sport because the run meet ups are free and Eldest has no desire to do it any other way. So it is only the cost of shoes. He doesn't even want any running gear. 

[maize]

Just wanted to add that I don't consider the activities I pay for 'an investment'. They are paid for because they meet a need right now. Because they feed something in my dc. I don't expect ds to become a professional soccer player or an actor; the activities have value now and how these experiences and skills manifest in the future is entirely out of my hands and my dreams/goals.

This exactly :)

[maize]

 

DD17 does public high school cheer. It costs us $1000 for the first season (3 months) a couple hundred for the next season (already have the uniform, camps are over, etc). That doesn't include transportation costs or special items that always pop up like "dress like a super hero day at camp". All the extra t-shirts and special spirit events add a few hundred to that total. We easily spend $2000 per year on publc school cheer. :banghead:

Yes, I was shocked when a friend whose child was considering cheer at the local high school told me it cost close to $2000 to participate.

[Wheres Toto]

Oldest did high school cheer at a school in a very affluent town (we have a send/receive relationship with them for high school) and cheer didn't cost that much.  A few hundred dollars with bags, bows, shoes, etc. and camp in August.  But, it wasn't a competitive team, it was most definitely rec level and they only cheered for football.  Sports, academics and arts were all given a lot of support at this school.

 

All our money at that point went to dance.  It was what dd loved and she was extremely active from 4 years old, right through college.  She just had her last performance with the college dance team a few weekends ago.

 

The little guys are not athletic and have shown no strong interest in any particular sport.  They've tried quite a few things over the years.  Right now they are doing TKD and swimming.  The swimming is just lessons - neither has any desire to do team (and only dd probably could).  TKD they can go up to 6 times a week for $190 a month and the first uniforms were free.  We've had to buy one extra set of uniforms ($35 each) and belt tests ($35 each) and we bought them dojo hoodies ($45 each) and some plain t-shirts they can wear instead of their uniform tops (a 6 pack of hanes for $10).   If they continue and get to higher levels, I'm sure it will get more expensive but I doubt the costs for both of them will come anywhere near approaching dance for dd.

[kroe1]

Some of this money spent also encompasses a lifestyle. It is always not just about the athlete. Many families enjoy the social aspect of traveling with a group competing. I would not call that shame.

[theelfqueen]

The shame reference in the title is a reminder of the article "The Secret Shame of Middle Class America" which is part of a longer post... s/o shame = spin off of shame discussion...

[mom2scouts]

For some people it does pay off. I know a girl who just got a FULL 4 year tuition scholarship at a top private research university because she's a great dancer and is minoring in dance. Her scholarship is worth over $170,000! My first thought was that her parents got their money's worth out of all those years of dance expenses.

[JanetC]

Given the whole scholarship thing it doesn't seem like a terrible investment.  Nobody here has an athletic bone in their body though.

 

If you put hundreds of dollars a month into a 529 plan you're guaranteed to get the funds back with appreciation and favorable tax- and financial aid- treatment of the returns. And, your kids will have more time to study (which is the point of college) or just relax (kids are so stressed these days) and you won't have to drive to tournaments etc.

 

Aside from division I football and basketball, there are very few full athletic scholarships. There are quite a few partial scholarships, but if we're talking about a likelihood of return on investment, then the partial scholarships won't do it.

Edited April 30, 2016 by JanetC

[Butter]

There is more to sports, though, than just a potential scholarship.  So much more.  While my cousin's (full ride) scholarship was worth less than they spent during the time she was 3-18 on gymnastics, it was so worth it from what she gained training.  Plus she loved it.

 

I know with my older two their relationship is totally different now than it was pre-taekwondo.  They are so much closer.  They have friends they never would've met and having TKD in common really strengthens their bond.  Right now I have a living room empty of furniture, but full of taekwondo kids who are studying together for the next level test on their way to becoming instructors.  The increase in confidence in my daughter has been incredible.  We are pretty non-athletic and rather klutzy and TKD has help a whole lot with that.  My third received his black-recommended belt this morning (tests for first degree in 6 weeks) and I think he's standing a few inches taller right now just because of the boost sticking with it and making it this far has given him.

 

There are so many rewards that aren't tangible that really make all the costs for many sports totally worth it.  If you are *just* in something for a potential scholarship, though, it's probably not worth it.  I don't know many people where that is truly the case, though.

[Katy]

I agree that sports teach many wonderful things.  But rec-league or dual enrolling in local school teams at minimal cost can provide those values.

 

DH pointed out to me last night that because I went to larger schools that were frequently state champions and almost always made it into state tournaments, the caliber of school sports around me meant kids didn't need to enroll in a bunch of extras.  But that because he went to a small school, if kids there wanted opportunities for scholarships, they had to enroll in travel teams and do tournaments and sports camps.  So that's a factor I hadn't thought about before.

[Katy]

<snip>

 

 

 

DD17 does public high school cheer.  It costs us $1000 for the first season (3 months) a couple hundred for the next season (already have the uniform, camps are over,  etc).  That doesn't include transportation costs or special items that always pop up like "dress like a super hero day at camp".  All the extra t-shirts and special spirit events add a few hundred to that total.  We easily spend $2000 per year on publc school cheer.  :banghead:   

 

How does that happen?  Did parents veto all the ridiculous team fundraisers that I had to to when I was in school so that the teams themselves raised the money for all of that?  Clothes, shoes, practice gear, safety equipment I can see, but I don't understand how that could cost more than $200 each.  And the camps and everything else..  isn't that why schools sell overpriced stuff like candy, pizzas, Christmas wreaths, and pies?

[JumpyTheFrog]

I agree that sports teach many wonderful things. But rec-league or dual enrolling in local school teams at minimal cost can provide those values.

 

DE at local schools isn't available everywhere. And our experience with rec-leagues hasn't led to the same values because volunteer coaches who only have our kids for 8-10 weeks aren't likely to push them much. My kids could play half-heartedly and the coach wouldn't know, especially in a team sport. I like my son's ex-marine gym coach noticing and telling him when he is only putting forth 60% effort. I don't want him trying to skate by because that is a character flaw he could easily fall into with his personality.

 

Now does every kid need that much pushing? Probably not. But I like not being the only "bad guy" in his life requiring him to work hard.

[justasque]

I wonder sometimes though if that is self-serving to some extent, on the part of the coaches.  In some cases it may mean the activity has no more to offer a kid, but often I wonder.

 

What does it mean to stagnating an activity when the main point is to be active and have fun?  Does it mean they will not learn another new thing?  Or does it mean they won't progress as fast or far as they might have otherwise?  There seems to be a bit of an assumption that the point of the activity is really to achieve higher and higher levels.

 

In the end, most of will probably not develop our full potential at all kinds of things, even things we enjoy and do for fun.  I've sometimes thought if I had the time and money to dedicated it, I could really produce some exceptional hooked rugs and probably sell them for a fair bit of money if I wanted to.  I don't have the time or the money to invest, so I'll probably never know if I could produce to the level that would be so in demand.

 

But - it's still a lot of fun.

 

In dance, there's a difference between a recreational class and a class with kids who take it more seriously, and take more lessons per week.  The "once-a-weekers" have fun, but the class is geared to their level and more towards "fun" than skill development.  A "company" class is more focused, more critique is given, and more expected of the students.  A little like  the difference between a "fun" book club and a serious literature class.  Depending on the needs and interests of the participants, one or the other might be a better fit.  Like the difference between a once-a-week, no-homework co-op class that is as much about socialization as any particular subject content, and a serious, 5-day-a-week, focused study of a particular subject.  

[SKL]

My kids' horse riding costs $50 per lesson per kid.  And we're not even "serious."  :P

 

We do a variety of sports (all recreational), and added up, they are not cheap.

 

Well, piano lessons weren't cheap either.  :)

 

I have to say that the most fun sport for me (as a mom) is rec soccer, which costs very little.  Too bad they can only play for about 4 months out of the year.

[SKL]

Oh yeah, I've been thinking lately about how cognitive my kids' sports really are.  If you think about it, there is a lot going on there which is useful for more serious pursuits.  Plus of course it's great for the kids to have a reason to run around outside for an extended time period.

[Guest]

Lots of sports (or any activity) becomes quite expensive when you get to competitive levels. Personally, I didn't want to groom any of my kids that hard over any activity or sport, let alone pay enormous fees and drive/fly all over the country for tournaments. I'm not that kind of person. I'm sure there is such a thing as kids who are born with an inner all-consuming desire to participate in X every moment of the day, but I am not a mom who seizes upon that tendency and would groom the child for full ride scholarships over it.

 

(As it is, my youngest has jumped on the trampoline since he could barely walk, but I never took that as a sign that I should pay a top coach and groom him for high level gymnastics. I am perfectly happy with him jumping trampoline at home multiple times a day for free. When college comes along, he'll go where we can afford to send him, or he'll do something else. Ta-dah! My parenting philosophy regarding activities and college rolled into one!)

[KungFuPanda]

Yes. You have to be very exceptional to get a full athletic ride.

 

And you never know when a kid will hit a wall, get injured, or lose interest. There is a mom at our gym (our kids are SIX!) who commutes from the next CITY. She said, "When she gets a college scholarship, it will all be worth it." And I mentioned, sheepishly, that gymnastics will likely cost her several times what college would. And she said they were considering it a prepayment plan. And that if she quit it "will all have been for nothing." I didn't have words y'all. Gymnastics has a TREMENDOUS attrition rate.

 

We let DD do it be because of the returns we see in good habits, development of character, teamwork, and dedication. Those girls work SO HARD. I know you can get those life lessons elsewhere, but this is where we've seen them develop in our DD. And we can afford it (for now at least), so we let her continue.

Oh man, I'd have to pull up a chair and just listen to that mom talk. That level of delusion has to be entertaining.

[Daria]

Really?  I can see elite gymnastics or dance costing hundreds per month, but football?  Why?  And what other sports cost that much?

 

 

When I went back to school for nursing I had a college roommate on a basketball scholarship.  Playing basketball, first in the YMCA league and then for her high school was totally worth it.  She wasn't tall enough for a really great school, but a small private college  covered everything in full.  I'm certain she only got the scholarship because of the gender equity rules regarding athletic scholarships.

 

As a football mom, I can understand football costing 100's a month, but dance?  All dance requires is a room, maybe a mirror, or a bar, and one teacher for a relatively large group of kids. 

 

Football takes a lot more space, and where I live field rental is a major cost.  It also requires a lot of equipment, expensive equipment that has to be replaced or refurbished (helmets) every year.  And football takes a lot of adults, because a team has a lot of different positions, and you need people to teach each of them, and because unsupervised practice can be very dangerous.  Finally, football takes a lot of insurance!  

 

I'm joking, sort of, but I think it's normal to not understand the costs involved in an activity you aren't involved in.  

 

My kid plays football because I think it will get him to college.  Not because I think he's going to get a scholarship, but because football is what motivates him to go to school, and football practice provides the intensive exercise he needs to manage some of his chronic health conditions.  Without football, I suspect my kid would be in a very different place.  

[EmilyGF]

As a football mom, I can understand football costing 100's a month, but dance?  All dance requires is a room, maybe a mirror, or a bar, and one teacher for a relatively large group of kids. 

 

Football takes a lot more space, and where I live field rental is a major cost.  It also requires a lot of equipment, expensive equipment that has to be replaced or refurbished (helmets) every year.  And football takes a lot of adults, because a team has a lot of different positions, and you need people to teach each of them, and because unsupervised practice can be very dangerous.  Finally, football takes a lot of insurance!  

 

I'm joking, sort of, but I think it's normal to not understand the costs involved in an activity you aren't involved in.  

 

My kid plays football because I think it will get him to college.  Not because I think he's going to get a scholarship, but because football is what motivates him to go to school, and football practice provides the intensive exercise he needs to manage some of his chronic health conditions.  Without football, I suspect my kid would be in a very different place.  

True.

 

I think anyone is welcome to spend their money any way they want. And they can generally justify it. For some people it is music, for others sports, for others private school, and for others all organic everything. There are many things that are good. 

 

The question for me is are people being financially responsible, saving for retirement, paying off the mortgage, etc? And if will the kids kick in later if not (asked somewhat tongue in cheek). I'm thankful for the opportunities my parents gave me through music lessons through sixth grade, but I'm glad my parents paid off their house and have saved for retirement. So I'm glad, too, for the things my parents said no to. 

Emily

[Ausmumof3]

There is more to sports, though, than just a potential scholarship. So much more. While my cousin's (full ride) scholarship was worth less than they spent during the time she was 3-18 on gymnastics, it was so worth it from what she gained training. Plus she loved it.

 

I know with my older two their relationship is totally different now than it was pre-taekwondo. They are so much closer. They have friends they never would've met and having TKD in common really strengthens their bond. Right now I have a living room empty of furniture, but full of taekwondo kids who are studying together for the next level test on their way to becoming instructors. The increase in confidence in my daughter has been incredible. We are pretty non-athletic and rather klutzy and TKD has help a whole lot with that. My third received his black-recommended belt this morning (tests for first degree in 6 weeks) and I think he's standing a few inches taller right now just because of the boost sticking with it and making it this far has given him.

 

There are so many rewards that aren't tangible that really make all the costs for many sports totally worth it. If you are *just* in something for a potential scholarship, though, it's probably not worth it. I don't know many people where that is truly the case, though.

We just started tae kwon do and the change in my son was almost instant. I love the spirit at tae kwon do.

[Ausmumof3]

Yes, my older 3 kids have done this. I don't spend $100/ month on books let alone sports, dance, music, etc. It's not a priority for us but to each his own I guess.

I probably spend more on sport than books. It's not because it's a higher priority but because I can provide much of the book education with hand me down and library resources whereas I can't teach my kids the sports as I don't know them myself and I can't provide the group atmosphere they get.

[JumpyTheFrog]

True.

 The question for me is are people being financially responsible, saving for retirement, paying off the mortgage, etc? And if will the kids kick in later if not (asked somewhat tongue in cheek). I'm thankful for the opportunities my parents gave me through music lessons through sixth grade, but I'm glad my parents paid off their house and have saved for retirement.

Good point. We wouldn't pay all this money for gymnastics if we weren't saving enough for retirement and college already. It would be foolish otherwise, in my opinion.

[bettyandbob]

Most activities are affordable at the recreational level. In any given suburban area any number of activities are available through community centers and park programs. There are few sports that are expensive to start; horseback riding and golf come to mind, tennis and hockey less so. 

 

Once a child reaches a certain skill level and has the desire to go further the activity will cost money. Club level sports are expensive. Pre pro dance programs are expensive. Music can add up quickly. Even a kids who play serious chess travel great distances to tournaments and have coaches. 

 

Any parent pursuing high level sports for "college scholarships" is delusional. He might have better odds spending all that money on lottery tickets. 

 

Money spent on these activities is not an investment for college. It is an investment in the person. My dc pursued various things over the years. Just about everything they pursued offered them the opportunities to:

set goals

develop physical fitness

develop time management

work with others

challenge themselves

These are good things to do. This is why it is worth spending money on activities. 

 

If your family cannot afford certain activities, there's nothing wrong with saying "no." There's also nothing wrong with a kid figuring out how to deal with that limitation. The most talented girl among this year's graduates from my dd's dances studio has been working at the studio for years. She started "working" before she was of legal age, helping with birthday parties for preschoolers. If her parents paid for everything, she'd probably still be at the studio every spare minute. She is passionate about ballet, whether she is teach a class or taking a class it is the place she needs to be. I also know someone who started riding her bike to the rink and doing odd jobs around the rink to get lessons. 

 

I've met many delusional parents over the years. I can't tell you how many times I've overhear "she wants to quit, but I won't let her because she's to good." Honestly, you might be able to discipline a kid into being quite skilled at something, but unless the passion is within the kid, the kid will never be great enough for a significant scholarship. I know a woman who made her son quit one sport he liked. She said he had to choose because both (swimming and baseball ) took a lot of time. She chose for him. She decided he would be able to get a D1 scholarship in swimming and made him drop baseball. She dumped tons of money into his swimming. He swam in programs that have produced Olympians. I knew he was pretty good. However, I also knew he wasn't very tall. I finally asked someone how tall his dad was (divorce situation, I'd never seen dad). What do you know the dad is only 5'9". One thing D1 programs look at seriously is height. The mom should have done some research before she started dumping this money as an investment for college. The young man ended up injuring his shoulder in the fall of his senior year. No scholarship in any division. 

 

 

 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Money spent on these activities is not an investment for college. It is an investment in the person.

 

"An investment in the person." I love that.

[LucyStoner]

As a football mom, I can understand football costing 100's a month, but dance? All dance requires is a room, maybe a mirror, or a bar, and one teacher for a relatively large group of kids.

 

Football takes a lot more space, and where I live field rental is a major cost. It also requires a lot of equipment, expensive equipment that has to be replaced or refurbished (helmets) every year. And football takes a lot of adults, because a team has a lot of different positions, and you need people to teach each of them, and because unsupervised practice can be very dangerous. Finally, football takes a lot of insurance!

 

I'm joking, sort of, but I think it's normal to not understand the costs involved in an activity you aren't involved in.

 

My kid plays football because I think it will get him to college. Not because I think he's going to get a scholarship, but because football is what motivates him to go to school, and football practice provides the intensive exercise he needs to manage some of his chronic health conditions. Without football, I suspect my kid would be in a very different place.

Some dance has pricey shoes that need to be replaced often (toe shoes for example are toast after a very short time.) Rooms aren't free, quality dance instructors aren't cheap and then there's the costumes (several per recital is not uncommon), recital space and for some, travel. It adds up. Another cost is that serious dancers aren't taking 1-2 classes a week. They might have classes most days a week in different forms, each with a different instructor. Edited April 30, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Daria]

Some dance has pricey shoes that need to be replaced often (toe shoes for example are toast after a very short time.) Rooms aren't free, quality dance instructors aren't cheap and then there's the costumes (several per recital is not uncommon), recital space and for some, travel. It adds up. Another cost is that serious dancers aren't taking 1-2 classes a week. They might have classes most days a week in different forms, each with a different instructor.

 

As I said, I was partially joking to make a point, but football has comparable costs to all of those.  You don't practice 1 - 2 hours a week, and coaches deserve to get paid too!

 

I think it comes down to the idea that dance is somehow worth it, but football isn't, not that the costs involved in one are significantly greater than the other.  

[maize]

As I said, I was partially joking to make a point, but football has comparable costs to all of those. You don't practice 1 - 2 hours a week, and coaches deserve to get paid too!

 

I think it comes down to the idea that dance is somehow worth it, but football isn't, not that the costs involved in one are significantly greater than the other.

Did someone here say that dance is worth it but football isn't? I haven't seen that on this thread.

[Daria]

Really? I can see elite gymnastics or dance costing hundreds per month, but football? Why? And what other sports cost that much?

 

.

This is how the thread started.

[Bluegoat]

Well, in gymnastics, you really do reach a point where there is no more you can do on one hour a week. Some kids will take years and years to hit that ceiling, but others hit it at 7 or 8 years old. Figure skating was similar when I did it. Any sport where you learn increasingly difficult skills that build upon the skills before are pretty much going to be this way. At some point, you can no longer safely learn skills without an increase in practice hours. But I was a swimmer too, and that was more like what you're saying. You can just keep getting faster, keep progressing, albeit slower. Though really even with that? If you're in a rec league and talented? It's possible to outgrow your coaches and stagnate. 

 

And you're right that we can't each pursue everything to the furthest extent of our abilities. But we usually do pursue things that really ignite a spark in us, at least I always have. This is, of course, limited by the practical realities of the universe we live in. But if DD is in an activity and I see if pulling out all the best qualities she has and bringing them to the surface, and I can afford the time and money for that activity? I will facilitate it. I will tell you that the recreational levels of these activities didn't do that - because they weren't challenging. And we're a sports family. DH and I, FIL and MIL, my mom and dad...all were involved in competitive sports, usually multiple at a time. So it's not hard for us to see the value in them. 

 

I guess if she lost her interest in sports and just wanted to do a homeschool PE class to be active and have fun, I would totally just shell out the normal price for that. Of course there's value there. But that's not the kid I have.

 

There does seem to be a different focus in activities where the point seems to be mainly focused on improvingskills or going up levels, as opposed to those where there is some other inherent goal - like playing a game with another team or (say in music) playing with a group of friends. 

 

The latter can be made very level oriented, but it doesn't have to be.  Once you reach a certain level the activity is fun in itself even if you never get any better.  In the former, there doesn't seem to be as much of that.

 

For me, I've tended to encourage my kids in the activities that can be fun in themselves, because my observation has been that people I know who are involved in activities as adults tend to be in that group.  And I also feel that even if they get to a point where they aren't going to get better, or it becomes to expensive, they can still enjoy the activity for a long time.

.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Dd is a competitive rock climber.  We pay $250 a month which includes 9 hours of practice and a gym membership for further practice. She is fortunate to be training with one of the best coaches in the country. We commute about 7 hours a week for this.  Equipment includes shoes (replaced once or twice a year for $100-150), harness ($75 - replaced every year or 2 years.)  We also pay for travel to competitions out state (gas and competitions fees) and, for championship comps, it includes hotels and meals (and some airfare, but I've been able to use airline miles for the most part.)  Climbing outside for fun requires additional equipment.  

 

Her other option is about half the price and is much closer.  However, she outgrew that program about 3 years ago.  The instability in the coaching staff and lack of commitment to the program was frustrating.  Also, she really didn't have a peer group of people who wanted to work hard.  Her old teammates had moved on to other things and those that were left were much more casual about climbing.

 

The friends she has made through climbing have encouraged her to grow, set goals, work hard to achieve those goals, and take on new challenges.  They are all high achieving kids.  And she is doing all of this with smile on her face.

 

Given the whole scholarship thing it doesn't seem like a terrible investment. 

The likelihood of getting a college scholarship is much less than getting an academic scholarship.  Full rides are relatively rare in academic scholarship, but to get an athletic scholarship, you have to be tippy top and get noticed.  Plus, Division III schools don't offer athletic scholarships, but they do offer academic scholarships.  Also, once you have an athletic scholarship, the athletic department pretty much owns you.  Your time is not your own, even in the off-season. 

 

DD won't get a scholarship for climbing since there really isn't a thriving college competitive environment (not an NCAA sport.)  But, what she has learned from her participation in the sport will make her an attractive applicant and may get her a bump in merit money.

 

Both boys in karate is $150 a month, 12 months a year. $1800 a year.

And that's a cheap price with a homeschool discount.

We don't expect any scholarships for it. It's just a way to get my team-sport-hating kids doing something active. To me, it's one of the prices of homeschooling. My kids are introverted and would honestly never, ever willingly leave the house if we hadn't signed them up for karate. If they went to public school, I wouldn't worry about a sport. But they need to get out of the house from time to time and be around other people, so...karate.

That is why we spent $$ on karate.  My older two were both very shy and reserved.  They were both somewhat bookish and needed something to get them moving and with people.  Both ended up with their black belts.  The process of getting there was life changing for them.  If my kids went to public school, I'm not they would have gotten as much out of the school as they did from karate. It was a valuable experience. 

 

I have to say that karate and the road to the black belt indirectly helped them get college scholarships.  Schools recognized the hard work and dedication (10 years) to get there and that is who they wanted at their school. 

 

Paying for the first year and thereafter having them earn the money themselves is a fantastic idea.

Wow.  I'm not sure how many junior high kids who could earn the $$ to keep up with an activity.  At the higher levels, the amount of hours they would have needed to work to pay for the activity would have left no time to actually do the activity, let alone take honors, AP, and college classes.  

 

I agree that sports teach many wonderful things.  But rec-league or dual enrolling in local school teams at minimal cost can provide those values.

 

That has not been our experience.  After about 4th grade, the rec sports were no longer a positive experience, even for my kids who were doing it for fun.  Most of the kids there were likely forced to be there by parents who wanted their kids out of the house.  Many kids weren't serious, wouldn't listen to the coach, didn't care about trying hard.  It felt like a preschool team.  Local high school teams are not always a possibility (karate and rock climbing are out.)