Debating whether to put DD into PS for middle school.

[Xuzi]

I'm going through a bit of an internal debate right now.

 

I've been home schooling DD since 1st grade, and all the "horrors" you hear about with middle school was one of the reasons I did so. (my own middle school experience was far from pleasant) But now, I'm wondering if sending her to school might be the better choice for her academically. Mainly, I'm not sure if I'm capable of home schooling high school, and I'd rather she have some public school experience before high school, when the transcripts really matter, as far as college admissions go. I wouldn't want her to spend Freshman year floundering to adjust to a public school setting, and have that effect her grades, which will be permanently on her transcripts.

 

Has anybody else done this? Did the social aspects of middle school make it not worth it?

 

Or does anybody have any suggestions for some good online options for middle school, that are linked to the public schools, and so would have some outside accountability? We've just recently moved to Minnesota.

[quietchapel]

Hmmm... I don't know if this will help, but I guess I would start with exploring why you doubt homeschooling high school. Then, depending on what you learn from that, evaluate middle school.

[Tanaqui]

I had such a horrific experience in middle school that I'm homeschooling specifically to avoid it. (It doesn't help that we're zoned for the same school I attended - and I know darn well it hasn't improved socially OR academically in 20 years.)

 

However, I'm willing to accept that schools vary. Your middle schools may actually be wonderful places! Or they may be simply atrocious. The only way to know is to visit the school, and speak to people whose children attend there - or who pulled their children out. If you float the idea of homeschooling and people familiar with the middle school go "Oh, yeah, that makes sense, I mean, IS 666 is really... ugh!" then you know that homeschooling is the right call. Or if they universally say "Wow, that's too bad, because Cherry on Top Junior High is great, small classes, no bullying, all those extracurriculars...!" then you know you need to check this place out.

[Xuzi]

I had such a horrific experience in middle school that I'm homeschooling specifically to avoid it. (It doesn't help that we're zoned for the same school I attended - and I know darn well it hasn't improved socially OR academically in 20 years.)

 

However, I'm willing to accept that schools vary. Your middle schools may actually be wonderful places! Or they may be simply atrocious. The only way to know is to visit the school, and speak to people whose children attend there - or who pulled their children out. If you float the idea of homeschooling and people familiar with the middle school go "Oh, yeah, that makes sense, I mean, IS 666 is really... ugh!" then you know that homeschooling is the right call. Or if they universally say "Wow, that's too bad, because Cherry on Top Junior High is great, small classes, no bullying, all those extracurriculars...!" then you know you need to check this place out.

Everyone says the schools are great. There's actually very few homeschooling families that I've been able to find in this area (except for ones who are doing it for strictly religious reasons) because the schools have such a great reputation.

[Janeway]

Middle school is the worst time ever to send her back. They seriously learn nothing. I got stuck teaching 7th grade one year, it was awful. It was my first year out of college. It was pretty well established that kids that age are stuck in an hormonal tornado. They have a hard time moving forward academically and are adjusting to living with the new them. It is a time that really makes or breaks the child. You throw your child in to that, you are just throwing the child in with the sharks and hoping the child swims. Not the time for this. Hold out. Home school at least until 8th, preferably 9th. And then send her back. In the meantime, work on a skill that will allow your child to be in a group when she goes back, like a musical instrument for band or orchestra. I prefer orchestra because band usually requires marching band which takes a lot out of a child. But band is good too. 

[mtomom]

I'm a former middle school teacher. I think middle school is an ideal time to homeschool. You can be flexible with the hormone related brain blips and bumps, accommodate increased needs for sleep, and perhaps mitigate middle school age peer related ick. Academically, I think my kids will learn much more in a homeschool middle school environment compared to school.

 

That said, if my son decides he wants to go to high school, I may send him to middle school in 8th so he has a year of adjustment before it counts. If he does do public high school, it will be for social rather than academic reasons for me. But, like you, I like the idea of a trial period.

 

You could always try and see what she thinks. No decision is permanent.

 

 

Edited April 29, 2016 by mtomom

[sweetpea3829]

I'm actually in a similar boat with a slight twist.  

 

Eldest DS wants to go to public school at some point.  He wants to share his testimony but that's a whole 'nother point.  (He thinks classroom school is Candyland).  

 

Putting that reason aside (I would NOT enroll any of my kids just so they could be a public school missionary)...I am considering enrolling DS because our high school has a really good STEM program but the only way to get into it, is if DS enrolls on the STEM track in 7th grade.  Which stinks.  He can't test in at a higher grade...he can't finagle his way on, as far as I can tell.  I'm going to talk it over with our Superintendent to double check but...by all accounts, if he wants to take hteir STEM path...he must be on that path in 7th grade.  

 

 

And yet...the very thought of enrolling DS in middle school gives me the jeeves.  Because middle school.  And hormones.  And a homeschool student that wants to "share the gospel" with his peers.  

 

Hear what I'm saying?  This isn't going to start off too well.  

 

 

 

[Sahamamama]

I started freaking out about high school about halfway through this year (oldest is in 5th). It just seems like this impossible, horrible, impossible, did I mention impossible? thing to do.

 

One thing that is helping me is reading up on it and researching the options. The more I can wrap my head around what it might "look" like, the better I can imagine us doing it, if that makes sense.

 

Your first source of information on this would, of course, be the high school boards right here. I didn't post there, just started reading. It's a bit overwhelming, because it's like those people over there are speaking a foreign language! But after a while, it started to click for me, and now I find myself understanding some of the acronyms and concepts enough to follow the conversation, LOL. ;) So, eavesdropping here is good.

 

Another source that I've found helpful is this website: http://www.thehomescholar.com/

 

She's got one way of doing things, and it might not all fit what you and your children would eventually like to do (for high school), but at least it might get you thinking about the increments of it all, instead of the overwhelming Big Picture. Baby steps, you know? First this, then that. I do think Lee Binz breaks it down, until the whole thing seems possible for normal people like me.

 

Thirdly, I started looking around for online options, DVD options, correspondence options, well-written courses and text books, and so on. I mean, at a certain point, our children are going to go beyond our ability to directly teach them every single thing, right? Looking at resources that could make that transition possible really helped me to believe it's a matter of finding, affording, and working through those resources.

 

I've also tried to just step aside more and more with my oldest, who is ready to take on more of her own educational leadership. Funny -- I said to her the other day, "You have breakfast duty today. What's for breakfast?" And she said, "Step aside, Mommy, and let me do what I do." :) This transition also applies to their school work, I think. We have to kind of step aside in some ways, and see what they do.

 

About your decision -- well, I wouldn't do it. Put your daughter in school, that is. I just think that middle school is a rough time to make that leap, so unless there is a compelling reason now to pull the plug on what is working well, don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. When you were homeschooling her in 1st grade, did you ever think you could manage 6th grade? Yet here you are! Maybe high school won't seem so impossible when you get there, if you get there a day at a time. HTH.

[TheApprentice]

This is my experience with my 3 sons.

 

Oldest son homeschooled through high school and will be off to college in the fall. There is nothing scary about homeschooling a high school student. It really is just the next step, and academically just follow the basic requirements (ie. 4 units of Math, 3 units of science, etc...) This child has attended community college in his sophomore thru senior year, has had a part time job, and an internship for the school year which has turned into a summer internship. The most important thing is to stay administratively disciplined for the transcript.

 

Middle son is finishing up his freshman year at the brick and mortar high school. He wanted to attend middle school so that he would get used to school. I did not put him in middle school at all. He has adjusted beautifully in that he has friends, gets his assignments done on time, follows the school's rules without any problem and is a straight "A" student taking honors courses. He has even mentioned that high school is easier than homeschooling was. It took ds all of a 3 days to adjust to highschool. 

 

Youngest son will be in 8th grade next year and has asked if he could go to middle school. NOPE. He will adjust fine.

 

And no decisions have to be in stone.

 

You and your daughter will be fine either road you choose.

[sassenach]

We put my eldest in for 8th grade. It was a hard year for many reasons, but in the end she was glad she went (she went to a tiny private school for high school). Ds is going in for 8th grade. I'm way more confident that it will go well for him. He has a lot of friends at the school. He'll be going to public high school.

 

Youngest is up in the air, but she really doesn't want to attend our middle school. She knows some of the girls in her grade and they are definitely mean girls.

[Kristie in Florida]

We are seriously considering public school for next year, seventh grade, not because we nolonger want to homeschool, but because I will have to work.

 

I have some of the same concerns as you. My daughter knows many girls at her future school through dance and church so that is helping.

 

It is a good school.

 

Public school was just never in our plans.

[Mrs Twain]

My children are planning to go full time to public high school. This year I put my 7th grader in a foreign language class at the middle school as a part-time student, and he homeschools for the rest of his classes. Do you have that option? Taking only one class at the middle school had been a great experience. It took us a little while to figure out the online system and where the teacher was posting assignments online, and I am glad he only had one class at the local school this year for that reason. Even so he is the best student in his class, consistently getting A's.

 

Next year he will take foreign language 2 and Algebra 1 at the middle school. Since these are high school level courses, we find it easier to have them "count" for his public school high school transcript with him taking them through the school system.

 

If we did not have the part-time student option, I would consider enrolling him in middle school for 8th just to become accustomed to the schedule and assignments. However, I think my homeschool program is a higher academic level than the local school, and I think he is getting a better education and social environment at home during the middle school years.

[Ellie]

I'm going through a bit of an internal debate right now.

 

Mainly, I'm not sure if I'm capable of home schooling high school, and I'd rather she have some public school experience before high school, when the transcripts really matter, as far as college admissions go. I wouldn't want her to spend Freshman year floundering to adjust to a public school setting, and have that effect her grades, which will be permanently on her transcripts.

 

Has anybody else done this? Did the social aspects of middle school make it not worth it?

 

Or does anybody have any suggestions for some good online options for middle school, that are linked to the public schools, and so would have some outside accountability? We've just recently moved to Minnesota.

 

I have no doubt that you would be able to do high school. You'll have had eight years of teaching experience, after all, and there are almost infinite resources at your fingertips.

 

I cannot recommend any public-school-at-home. If you think you need outside accountability (why?) there are plenty of private distance-learning schools to choose from. They're not free, of course, but they are private. Clonlara, one of the oldest such schools, is in Michigan; children from all over the country go there for the graduation ceremonies. :-)

[kentuckymom]

Perhaps my opinion shouldn't count since I'm not yet a homeschooler, but I would never, in a million years, send a child who had not been to school since first grade to school for middle school. I understand your thought that she may need some time to adjust to the differences before high school, but surely she doesn't need three years. My son has attended our well regarded local elementary school and is now in fifth grade. There have been definite ups and downs, the downs mainly due to the fact that the school didn't want to acknowledge his learning differences, but the experience has been mostly good. Our local middle school is not well regarded, but he was accepted into a well regarded magnet school with a lot of positives. Despite that, we've made the choice to homeschool him for middle school because we didn't think he was ready to be thrown to the sharks. He's young for his age, he has a quirky sense of humor, and he's very sensitive. Even though our schools work hard to prevent bullying, it still happens. And even if direct bullying doesn't happen, there are still kids who are isolated and have no friends at school. We decided that keeping him out of that environment altogether would be a better plan. Academically, it's a nice bonus that I can focus on his areas of weakness and give him time and space to develop his passions, but the social reasons were actually more important than the academic ones when we made our decision.

 

Our plan is to send him back for high school. I have no fears whatsoever about him needing to adjust, since he spent all of elementary school (preschool too, actually) in public school. However, I know many homeschoolers send their kids to school for the first time in 9th grade and they do fine. Maybe they flounder for a few weeks, but no student I've heard of has floundered so much the first year it has detrimentally affected their GPA. A cousin of mine has now sent four of her six kids to public high school after homeschooling through 8th grade. Two have graduated at the top of their classes. The third is set to do the same. The fourth isn't doing as well, but she was never as academically inclined. She's doing fine, just not at the top of her class. The younger two are still in elementary school, but she plans to follow the same plan with them. All the kids already had friends at school from church and other outside activities and had a pretty easy time adjusting. 

[Bocky]

I sent my dd14 (8th grade) back to public school after 4 years of homeschooling; my dd 11 (6th) is homeschooling, and wants to continue through 8th grade. She will probably follow her sister to ps for 9th.

 

I think what you do really depends on your child. It caught my attention that you just moved. We also moved when my oldest was in 6th grade. I looked hard for homeschooling and outside peers to replace the friends we left behind. We tried park days, a big drop-in class co-op, sports, activities. My youngest found an extracurricular she really likes and made acquaintance-friends there, and is happy. My oldest could not find her peeps. The homeschool co-op was a very isolating experience for her, because the middle schoolers weren't open to new friends. Park days are great for younger kids, but middle schoolers (for us at least) don't make new friends hanging at the park. She was miserable during her 7th grade year at home. She went to ps for 8th, and is much happier. It is by no means perfect (she has had to deal with some mean girl stuff), but she is where she needs to be. She needed to be with her peers.

 

On the whole adapt-before-9th-grade-transcript question, it seems to me it really depends on the executive functioning skills of the student. Dd 11 has no trouble completing her work in a timely fashion and tracking what is due when. I plan for her to take an online (maybe WTM Academy) study skills class before she returns for 9th. Dd 14 does struggle more with figuring out just what is required and and what is due. I really wish I'd had those skills on my radar for her before she went back. As someone who is not a natural at this, she has had a steep learning curve. I am glad that she has had 8th grade to adapt and learn.

 

It's a tough decision, especially with a move in the mix. Good luck!

 

Oh - and middle school outsourcing - I have always been most attracted to Moving Beyond the Page or Oak Meadow.

Edited April 29, 2016 by Bocky

[AppleGreen]

We are a few years ahead with our oldest, but in a similar position. We are in the process of enrolling the oldest in public school for 10th grade. I have very mixed feelings about this transition, but for a number of reasons we feel it is time to explore some other options (and kiddo wants to go).

 

Anyway, after doing 9th grade at home, I have no doubt about my capabilities of high school. I couldn't say that at this time last year. I see where I need to outsource and what I would do better (or be mindful of) next year. There is a learning curve. I totally stressed over the "transcript for real" and "It counts for college, now!", but really, if you are diligent, mindful and have a plan, ninth grade is just the next step after 8th. You just keep stretching those skills. Overall, my child had a very solid academic year. Putting together the portfolio for the school to receive credit for our classes this year has been reassuring. Yes, we could have done more, but my kid will be able to take honors and AP classes next year. (I should note we are not in a super challenging district, and that is what has been recommended to keep challenging my child).

 

Every kid is unique, so I don't know if your child will flounder. I fully expect there will be a few challenges adjusting and getting used to that environment all day, BUT I don't think the benefits of going to school in middle school outweigh the education we were able to provide at home. I am glad we did a mix of outsourced and home classes this year, as well as another year to mature. We started outsourcing in grade 7 with one class, two last year and two again this year, along with some Bravewriter classes. It has been good to get used to other due dates and how different teachers teach.

 

I think kids who have been adequately challenged in middle school, practiced time management skills and have a supportive home environment are off to a great start for the high school transition. As long as it isn't a sink or swim, now you're in high school kind of thing, I personally don't feel it is necessary to go to middle school for practice. High school isn't college and most schools aren't expecting high schoolers to have it all figured out in 9th grade (I think!).

 

Good luck with your decision. 

Edited April 29, 2016 by AppleGreen

[maize]

Harmony Ed has a program in Minnesota, I'm sorry I don't know much about their online offerings.

 

I would probably not choose seventh grade for acclimatization, eighth might be a bit better.

 

Is partial enrollment a possibility there?

 

Middle school traumatized me for life, it is the reason just thinking about school literally makes me want to throw up. I do know people who had good middle school experiences, but...there is a real risk of harm.

[Alessandra]

I would not rule out middle school. From what I understand, many more teachers are specializing in teaching middle school kids, so what was true years ago might not be true now. Our middle school is a wonderful place. The staff look out for the kids, and the academics are rigorous.

 

Go look at your middle school. If kids are coming into it from several different elementary schools, it may not be as difficult to fit in as you think. Look at the high school too, in order to see what options there are for course levels -- honors, etc. -- and whether or not middle school preparation plays a role in course assignments.

 

Every school and kid will be so different, so the only advice I would give is to keep an open mind.

 

ETA

Let me give you an example. Elementary school lunch: choose your seat (not so great if you don't have a group of your own), supervision by aides (many of whom looked away). Result: many kids got bullied, nightmare for those who did. And school was supposedly great, lots of awards.

 

Middle school: lunch is assigned seats (big relief for kids who are not at the top of the social ladder), supervision by principal, vice principal, etc (eagle eyes). Result: kids do not get away with bullying, secure atmosphere, safe, good for kids who are still developing socially.

 

So, the above (and other examples) are why I believe that middle school can be a great experience.

Edited April 29, 2016 by Alessandra

[kirstenhill]

Minnesota has some great charter schools too, so they are worth checking out. I always said I would NEVER put a kid in school for the first time in middle school, but we are going to visit a charter in St. Paul that one of DDs best friends attends and frankly from everything DD's friend and friend's mom says, it sounds amazing. DD is super extroverted and is happiest when around other people (and not just her annoying little brothers...lol). If she could work on her homeschool work at the library or with a friend every single day she would be a lot happier...but those aren't realistic options for us, at least not daily. She is also less and and less apt to be willing to receive help from me, so I think more outside instruction will really be better for her. So, we are considering charter school as an option. If we don't do that, we are going to utilize one of the "drop off co-ops" we have here in the Twin Cities for middle/high school (I know, they are not really co-ops, more like tutorials) for at least a couple of her classes to increase involvement by instructors other than me.

[EmilyGF]

I'm considering sending ds11 to middle school. Here's why:

 

He's not really swayed by peer pressure. Maybe he's on the ASD spectrum? I don't know, but he tends to be pretty aloof to peer pressure, and in my experience, that is the sort of kid who enjoys middle school (like my sister, who loved it).

 

He really wants to talk with people ALL THE TIME. Every time he's had a teacher in any situation the teacher has loved him. He's engaged and interested. At some point, I need space. My mom pointed out to me how much I was shutting him down while she was visiting and said, "You're the only one he has to talk to." I'm working on it, but I have four other kids, three of whom want to talk to me now, and one who will in the future.

 

He admires people who achieve and is spurred on to work harder by them. If he went to middle school, it would be in an accelerated program that I think would provide him with a challenging environment from things I've heard.

 

Extracurriculars. We have a limited amount we can afford outside of school.

 

Emily

[MinivanMom]

We also have very good schools here, so there are very few people homeschooling in middle school and virtually no one in high school. The exceptions are a few highly religious Duggar types and a few radical unschoolers. A new move-in to our area can expect to have a pretty lonely middle school kid unless they have an extracurricular activity that gives them a social outlet. It's tough.

 

Most homeschoolers here transition their kids to public school in 5th or 6th grade while a few wait until 8th or 9th. No one transitions in 7th grade. Most seem to feel that the switch should be made at a natural transition: either in 6th grade or in 9th grade. Then you have a few that want their kids to have a year of elementary school before starting middle school or a year to acclimate in 8th grade before everything counts in 9th. I think both approaches have their pros & cons. And I agree with the common view that 7th grade would be a very tough year to start school for the first time.

 

Does your daughter have any kind of extracurricular activity where she could meet peers? Is there a church youth group where she could get to know local kids? If and when she makes the transition, having some familiar faces can only help. If I were in your place, I would visit the middle school and talk to parents who have kids there, but I would still want to wait until 8th grade to make the switch. Even at a good middle school, starting in 7th grade is really tough.

[Tanaqui]

I thought of something else regarding switching in 8th vs 6th or 7th grades.

 

When I was in the 8th grade, I got switched from one section to another. (There were 6 homerooms per section, roughly divided by brains/academic achievement. You didn't normally move from one section to another - heck, even moving homerooms was unusual unless your grades suddenly dropped - but they made an exception for me.)

 

I don't think this is why they made the switch - I have enough context to know that they just didn't care about bullying - but all of a sudden, my 8th grade year was almost entirely harassment free. I even made a sorta-friend. Which, upon reflection, was pretty much what happened when I switched schools in the 5th grade as well. (Although some of those kids went on to bully me in middle school, so... yeah.)

 

I've formulated a conclusion here, which is that kids at the end of their time in an old school aren't interested in picking a new target. They're already have their class set up the way they like it. If you're worried about bullying, transferring in 8th grade might mean that your kid isn't targeted simply because the class already has its designated victim. (Of course, this could work in reverse, and it might be super hard to make friends that last year. I wouldn't know.)

[Upptacka]

Welcome to MN! Can I ask what area and/or district you live in? You can private message me if you aren't comfortable posting. I have had two friends recently in your shoes and one opted to wait until 9th grade to enroll (which will be this fall), and another is going to continue HS-ing.

 

I will also be following this thread, because I was loosely planning to enroll my DD in middle school when the time comes, for the same reasons you listed. But I hadn't really thought about the other side......I am definitely rethinking this approach now. Middle school and junior high was mostly negative for me (the girls at my school were awful to each other!), and my DD is more sensitive and shy than I was (at least so far). I pulled her out of PS after K, and she is thriving socially in our homeschool co-ops/circles. Her increase in confidence has been wonderful. Now that I am thinking about the negatives, I worry how she will transition if I enrolled her in middle school (6th grade).

[Upptacka]

Oh, and if you are interested in online programs, check out connections academy. My sister works for them (mainly high school science), and has nothing but wonderful things to say about the program and the teachers!

[Garga]

I haven't homeschooled for high school yet, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

There's a thread (something about being overwhelmed) that has resurfaced from time to time in the past few months.  When I first posted on that thread I wrote about how crazy-scared I was about high school looming and how I would get a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  But now I wish I could go back and delete my post.  If it pops up again, I think I'll edit my post.

 

Because since then, I've been reading the sticky threads on the high school forum and everything else on the high school and college board each day.  I've signed up for the yahoo group hs2coll (homeschool to college).  I read the messages posted there as emails every day.  I've created a giant list of what needs to be done when.  Some of the things on the list won't need to be done for years (sign up to take SAT test, for example), but at least they're all spelled out now and I know what's coming up when.

 

And you know what?  I'm not crazy-scared anymore. I've chosen the curric for 9th grade. I have a rough plan for the next four years of what to teach. I have it on my calendar to figure out how to do a transcript and course descriptions over the summer.  I have it on my calendar when to do all the little tasks that need to be done to prepare for college.

 

Sure, it's a lot of work and there are a bunch of i's to dot and t's to cross...but I can do it.  No more sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  More like an, "Ok guys, here we go," with a deep breath of determination.

 

So....think very carefully about whether or not you can homeschool high school.  Maybe you can't.  Maybe you have circumstances in your life that make it so you honestly can't.  But if it's just fear of the unknown...then that might not be reason enough.  Before you decide, spend the summer reading and making a list of what would need to be done to homeschool high school and then decide if you think you can do it or not.

 

 

Edited May 2, 2016 by Garga

[...................]

Oh, and if you are interested in online programs, check out connections academy. My sister works for them (mainly high school science), and has nothing but wonderful things to say about the program and the teachers!

 

 

Connections Academy is the worst charter program...the WORST.  I have personal experience which is detailed in other posts that you can search here.  Uptaccka, hope I don't offend but I can't even imagine any teacher who even works for them thinking it's great.  I have two friends that worked for them and quit after a year because of how demoralizing and pathetic their student interactions and curriculum was.

 

Anyway, as to OP:

 

No one knows what the right choice is, but you.  Have you toured the school and gone to the Open House?  They are usually right around this time of year.  You may even want to make a special request for a Shadow Day for your daughter, so she can get a feel for what it's really like.  

 

FWIW I went to 9 years of private Catholic School and three years of Public Middle School in a very wealthy but very large area, and two of them were the worst years of my entire education both socially, morally and academically.  I was even in the Gifted and Talented program and even with that there was no depth, no true rigor, only pieced-together shams of education.  NOthing connected....nothing worth remembering.  Socially, there was nothing but mean-girl gossip from the rich wealthy girls or talk of boyfriends and Teen Bop Magazine from the girls from the "wrong side" of the tracks.  THe rich girls had a fashion show every day and made fun of anyone who didn't wear the right brand of clothing.  The more money you had, and the prettier you were the more popular.  

 

I loved elementary Catholic School and elementary public school was OK.  I also loved Catholic high school and although I wouldn't repeat it for my kids the experience had many positives.  But the public middle school was a joke, a lion's den, and a demoralizing and frustrating experience for everyone.

 

If you were going to go straight from homeschool to middle school, I think it would be better to consider a private school!

[The Girls' Mom]

I just want to throw out a word of encouragement for those that are afraid of homeschooling high school.  It really isn't that different than homeschooling middle or elementary school.  The texts get longer, the discussions get better, and the math gets harder...but really it is a slow progression.  There isn't a giant leap from 8th to 9th grade, you just go on to do the next thing like you have all along.  It is very, very doable and worthwhile.  

 

As far as putting your child into public middle school, to me it would have to be a very good school or I would have to have some very compelling reasons.  Middle school is a harsh place for many.  I pulled my oldest out 6 weeks into middle school.  Around here, pretty much everyone agrees that their kid had a horrible time in middle school.  Hormones, mean kids, cliques...it just is a crap-nado sometimes.  

[SebastianCat]

My DS is finishing 8th grade, and my DD is finishing 6th grade.   Our plan for homeschooling was always to take one year at a time, but we'd be especially open to public school in high school.   But by the time our oldest started 7th grade, we found LOTS of opportunities within the homeschooling community locally that have convinced us to continue homeschooling.   In addition, we gave DS the choice, and he wants to continue to homeschool.   Between one online class, two classes at co-ops, church, and (hopefully) running cross country and track for our local public high school, he will have a full plate and enough social outlets to keep him satisfied.

 

If I had to pick a grade in middle school that I'd be comfortable sending either one of my children to public school, 8th grade would win hands down.   Our experience has been (with both DS and DD - much earlier than I expected for DS) that 6th grade was very difficult.   For DS, 7th grade was an improvement - we learned how to manage the hormonal "brain fog" and he learned better how to express his frustration.   But 8th grade has been great compared to earlier in middle school.   I've seen him gain more self confidence, manage his time better, and deal with social issues in a much more mature and constructive way.   I'm hoping that DD shows similar improvement in managing the hormones in the coming year.

 

Especially since you just moved, I would spend the next year looking for social outlets and researching what homeschooling high school looks like locally.   I didn't know any of our options for high school existed until my oldest was actually IN middle school.   If you have co-ops that specialize in providing high school level classes for homeschoolers, or if you can enroll in a local public or private school part-time, you will likely find that homeschooling through high school is much less intimidating than it seems right now.   But if you still feel led to put your DD into public middle school, I think 8th grade would be a better year to do it.

[redsquirrel]

Well, I can only offer my experience, which is pretty much worth what you paid for it, lol. I battled with the same thing with ds1.  I seriously considered putting him in for 8th grade, if only to transition before 'it mattered'.  In the end I didn't and he went straight into 9th grade. It was a very smooth transition.  Now, were there bumps? Yes, but I have since found out that ALL the kids, every single 9th grader, had difficulties transitioning into 9th grade.  He didn't stand out at all. They all had their moments, and teachers expect it.

 

We did make sure to have him take an online class, with expectations, before he went to high school. For him that meant he took the AoPS pre-Algebra class in 7th grade.

 

With ds2, I am having him take a writing class through the WTMA and it has been an excellent experience. He is currently a 5th grader. He is learning so much about time management, handing in homework on time, being answerable to someone other than me, etc. He is my kid who I think might not go to public high school, and if so, we will continue with WTMA for at least the writing, lit and history classes. Although a friend has her kid doing full WTMA for all her high school classes and she raves about it. And, best of all, her daughter adores it. 

 

I had a lot of ambivalence regarding him going to public high school. I would have been happy to teach him all the way through, but it was clear that he was lonely and miserable at home. You know what? It's actually been really nice to be able to be his mom and not his teacher for these teenage years.  I would have been happy to do it, but I am also enjoying not doing it. I expected to be just sad about it, but I've found things to be happy about.

 

So, maybe in you want her to experience being accountable academically to someone other than you, enroll her in at least one online class.

[Upptacka]

Yikes, calming tea.......I am not offended at all, just surprised to read that about CA. I haven't read your threads, but am sorry you had such a negative experience! I honestly don't know that much about the program and curriculum, and have no personal experience, but I imagine the quality of teachers and program is going to vary by state. My suggestion for OP to check it out as an online option here was only based on what I have heard from my sister, nothing more. She has taught there for almost 10 years now, and has had a positive experience. Granted, I think she has enjoyed the flexible lifestyle more than anything! All that said, she is moving on as soon as she finishes her second masters degree this summer (moving on from teaching entirely).

[...................]

Not CA BTW , but glad you didn't get offended!!

[Paige]

I'm leaning towards putting 2 of mine into middle school next year (7th grade). The school is supposed to be good and I haven't heard any complaints. We moved last summer and they really haven't connected with any of the kids in homeschool classes or the neighborhood. They are involved in plenty of activities, but haven't made any friends and I think they are suffering for it. When they went to school, they liked it and made friends easily, so I expect they will be fine. I'm also feeling a little burnt out and would love to do something else- I never wanted to be a teacher and I'm not that great at it, tbh. 

 

Our school has the option to take 2 classes, and I might consider that for 7th grade and then send them full time in 8th. I think there could be a lot of advantages to that plan except it means I have to stay home another year. I've visited the school and talked to the counselor and everything looks great. I'd be more comfortable with that idea if my kids weren't so shy! I'm afraid they would go and be quiet and still never make friends if they didn't have all day there. 

 

[Tidbits of Learning]

I would wait until 9th.  We knew friends that switched in 8th and got put in a not so great class line up.  They really don't try to validate your schooling to put in the right course levels jumping into the middle of middle school.  They just stick you on the hum drum path.  We watched a friend put her daughter in for the transition 8th grade and that is what happened.  She was as smart as my girls and tested the same but b/c she hadn't been on that path in the middle school for the prior years--into the hum drum path she went. 

We put our girls back in at 9th grade registration.  Since high school was a new beast, they actually looked at their test scores and all with some interest.  They put them into the higher level classes with no problem.  Again we had a friend mid-year transfer her daughter in and into the hum-drum path she went b/c she didn't start on the higher path and with homeschooling their is no validating the grades you gave b/c the school doesn't believe that you are unbiased.

This is my experience.  My girls wanted to go back b/c there are zero extracurricular opportunities after 14 here for sports and no opportunities for band no matter the age.  We did private lessons for dd to walk on to the high school band and even then we had to have an in person that talked her up.

If your middle school is a junior high that starts in 7th, then I say give it a try...but if it is a middle school that starts in 6th...wait until 9th to go back.  The transition year is so not worth it.  Mine went back in 9th and did well.  I agree with the previous poster that all the 9th graders had some adjusting to do. 

[jengjohnson]

I've not read all the replies, but thought I would add our experience.  I used to be a middle school teacher, that's why I chose to homeschool.  I thought I would never ever send my girls to middle school.  Then, for various reasons, we needed to send my oldest to school for 9th.  I knew she was a hard worker and would do well.  My middle child wanted to go to school for 7th (the same year oldest would start high school).  She got into an all girls magnet school.  She loved 7th grade year, was so excited for 8th, but by October was begging me to homeschool her.  The teachers weren't great, she had to be retaught math most nights (she's a very strong student), there weren't many girls that fit her idea of friend material, and she was tired of spending 7 hours in school and coming home to several hours of homework.  I pulled her out at Christmas and she plans to stay home for high school.

 

Having my oldest in high school though also showed me that I can do the same or better for the remainder of my students if we think homeschooling through high school is the best choice for them.  She's had some good teachers, but also some really bad ones.  The social atmosphere it pretty bad, though she's finally found some nice kids to be friends with.  

 

Through a combination of classes at home, classes at co-ops and one outside extra class, I think dd will get a great education.  We're not planning for anything online because she prefers books or classes.

[Farrar]

Middle school is the worst time to be in school for most kids. I get the impulse to send them and the reasons. I think it probably works out okay for some kids. But it's the one time when I won't do it. And we're not having a walk in the park with it all the time either. I just won't. Speaking as a former middle school classroom teacher.

[wintermom]

My ds wanted to try public school for grade 7 and he ended up coming back to homeschool feeling like he wasted 7 months and lots of frustration. The only positive about the experience is that he really knows now how many more opportunities he has with homeschooling and how nice it is to have his academic subjects tailored to his exact level and interests. 

 

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Middle school is the worst time to be in school for most kids. I get the impulse to send them and the reasons. I think it probably works out okay for some kids. But it's the one time when I won't do it. And we're not having a walk in the park with it all the time either. I just won't. Speaking as a former middle school classroom teacher.

 

:iagree:

I've been through the homeschooling years with middle schoolers, three times now. Our fourth son is now in this stage.

 

We want to send them to school because they are acting their age, and it's a very tough age! Maybe we even think we've done something wrong or they wouldn't be acting this way. But my advice from the other side is this: When their behavior is making you feel as if they're pulling away (or repelling you), come back even closer. Hang in there and do the work. Don't send kids who are all out of equilibrium into the world to try to navigate too many people's expectations. Get them past the hormones, and well-grounded in who they are, and secure in their home relationships, and THEN send them out.

 

That process is one reason that going to brick-and-mortar school seems to work better at 9th grade than at 6th to 8th. A 9th grader is past the worst of the trying years. He's going to gravitate toward friends with shared values and interests, with a little more skill and aplomb at taking charge of those choices on his own. He's just more mature.

 

 That said, I have noticed that my kids need a lot more people in their lives during the middle school years. More friends, more sympathetic adults, more challenges, larger outlets for creativity...I think we all understand that this larger world can be impossible for homeschoolers to find or create, in some locales. School is all there is. If that's the scenario and it really can't be helped, my advice would be to focus on remembering that this is a difficult age. School isn't going to fix it, because nobody ever went to school to become well-adjusted. That's a myth. The loving scaffolding and endless devotion at home are still going to have to be priority one for a few years.

 

My two cents. :)

 

Edited to add: I can't believe I forgot to speak about the academics. After all, the OP mentioned nothing about tween angst and is considering school for academic purposes...I guess I think it's to be taken as read that any deliberate and purposeful homeschool program is going to be miles ahead of public school curriculum, even at a 'good' school. I really believe that. A child who has been homeschooled through sixth grade is probably over-prepared for seventh in public school and is unlikely to be challenged in good ways (although she may be very stressed by unnecessary busy work and too many hours of homework). So for me, the academic question is answered. Homeschooling is better. The mom who taught her last year is also prepared to go one step further.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Farrar]

See, Tibbie said it perfectly. I'm feeling very weary right now because friends are putting their kids in school for 6th grade so they can be ready for high school. I don't know how to not be emotional and weird and judgey about it because it's so baffling to me.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

See, Tibbie said it perfectly. I'm feeling very weary right now because friends are putting their kids in school for 6th grade so they can be ready for high school. I don't know how to not be emotional and weird and judgey about it because it's so baffling to me.

 

I am also emotional and weird and judgey lately, with little hope of improving for a year or two. My kid doesn't have a lot of hs'ed friends who are going off to school, but this is the moment when the local ps parents (and kids) really do not think hs'ing is OK anymore. Everybody's biggest concern is that he's missing something or that he's going to be odd. As if he wasn't going to be odd already. But yeah...I'm not feeling a lot of support for my decisions, here. It's just something I know rather than something anybody else is approving of. Yuck.

[Farrar]

I am also emotional and weird and judgey lately, with little hope of improving for a year or two. My kid doesn't have a lot of hs'ed friends who are going off to school, but this is the moment when the local ps parents (and kids) really do not think hs'ing is OK anymore. Everybody's biggest concern is that he's missing something or that he's going to be odd. As if he wasn't going to be odd already. But yeah...I'm not feeling a lot of support for my decisions, here. It's just something I know rather than something anybody else is approving of. Yuck.

 

Yeah. I just don't get it - the giving up at this age thing. We're hoping to do high school, but I do kind of get that fear a little more. But middle school... they're still basically little kids, but little kids who can discuss stuff and have deep thoughts. And who aren't in control of their bodies and are confused about social relationships more than they'll likely ever be again. School is not the place. 

 

I get that it works for some people... my robot brain just keeps saying, "Does not compute."

[MinivanMom]

I would wait until 9th.  We knew friends that switched in 8th and got put in a not so great class line up.  They really don't try to validate your schooling to put in the right course levels jumping into the middle of middle school.  They just stick you on the hum drum path.  We watched a friend put her daughter in for the transition 8th grade and that is what happened.  She was as smart as my girls and tested the same but b/c she hadn't been on that path in the middle school for the prior years--into the hum drum path she went. 

We put our girls back in at 9th grade registration.  Since high school was a new beast, they actually looked at their test scores and all with some interest.  They put them into the higher level classes with no problem.  Again we had a friend mid-year transfer her daughter in and into the hum-drum path she went b/c she didn't start on the higher path and with homeschooling their is no validating the grades you gave b/c the school doesn't believe that you are unbiased.

This is my experience.  My girls wanted to go back b/c there are zero extracurricular opportunities after 14 here for sports and no opportunities for band no matter the age.  We did private lessons for dd to walk on to the high school band and even then we had to have an in person that talked her up.

If your middle school is a junior high that starts in 7th, then I say give it a try...but if it is a middle school that starts in 6th...wait until 9th to go back.  The transition year is so not worth it.  Mine went back in 9th and did well.  I agree with the previous poster that all the 9th graders had some adjusting to do. 

 

This is the main reason we have told our daughter that she has to wait until 9th grade to make the transition (in addition to the social reasons). There are so many rules at the middle school for testing into subject-acceleration and gifted placement that it's nearly impossible to come in mid-stream. They will automatically place you on the regular track, because you didn't test in properly back in 3rd and 4th grade (3rd grade is when they test for gifted placement & 4th grade math scores determine the high school math sequence). The attitude here is that homeschoolers didn't play by the rules, so they don't deserve the reward of advanced classes (though, in all fairness, new move-ins from other states are often treated the same way).

 

The high school, on the other hand, is used to evaluating and placing incoming freshman from the private schools, charter schools, and magnet schools in addition to kids from the local middle school. They will actually look at test scores and listen to you, because they want everyone placed correctly. 

[jengjohnson]

Jumping back into the conversation.  I've homeschooled from preschool, LOL, and have received very little negative talk from other people.  Suddenly, now that my 8th grader has come back out and is choosing to continue at home, the neighbors are shocked.  This child is very social and enjoys being with others so they just can't imagine why she would make this choice. I'm telling them the same thing I said above.  I can prepare these kids as well or better academically.  B&M schools are just so inefficient and many times the teaching is poor. They do not want to hear it, LOL.  

 

The big thing that we're doing differently next year, when I'll have a freshman and 6th grader at home, is doing a second day of co-op.  My youngest really wants to go to school, but for purely social reasons.  She is my extrovert who craves lots of interaction with others, but she's also ADHD and would not achieve much learning in a classroom.  We've really searched and observed several co-ops this spring and I think we've found one that will support us through high school.  The classes are small enough that she'll enjoy herself and I'm able to support her learning at home.  They'll be part of a larger learning community complete with clubs, dances, field trips, graduation events and yearbooks.  These things are especially important because they see their older sister's public school experience.