Help me figure out math for my emotional 10 year old...please!!!

[zarabellesmom]

Here is the situation:

 

My daughter is ten (soon to be 11) and has always been a very good math student. She is still an excellent math student. We finished BA 5A awhile ago and moved on to AoPs prealgebra. She is very unhappy. She's good at it (sometimes amazingly so) but she is unhappy. It could be situational. It's closing in on the end of the school year for us and I think she is just ready to be done. She's also emotional about most things right now. It doesn't take much to set off crying, frustration and anger. She's also ADHD (and medicated no flames please, it was a tough decision). We need to continue with math over the summer because when we haven't it's amazing how hard it is to get back up to speed. She's young for pre-algebra and I'm not in a hurry to get her to Algebra so take that into consideration. But...she hates to do boring repetitive work which is why Beast Academy has worked so well for us in the past. I have BA 5B on the way (paid extra to have it here fast) but it won't take her long to get through it (because she loves it so) so what can I do after that to take us through the summer that will keep her polished on skills but not make her so angry??? I feel like I'm walking a really fine line between just challenging enough and frustrating. I really don't want her to hate math, especially since it has been her favorite subject in the past. Help me!!! Also, (conversely to most people) I'm not necessarily looking for something independent. She likes to spend math time with me and we use the white board and take turns teaching each other and try to keep things as fun as possible. Right now all she does in wallow in the floor, pout and refuse to take her turn at the board.

[h2bh]

Have you considered Jousting Armadillos? It is fun to do with your child. We have had some great discussions and it is lower stress. Maybe it would hit the sweet spot for a season.

[The Governess]

When my Dd got stuck with AoPS pre-a, we would do some work in Dolciani's pre-a book. It's a solid text but provided a break from the intensity of AoPS.

[zarabellesmom]

Have you considered Jousting Armadillos? It is fun to do with your child. We have had some great discussions and it is lower stress. Maybe it would hit the sweet spot for a season.

 

LOL, I have it upstairs. I pulled it out and gave her the choice between the two originally and she chose AoPS but she might have a different opinion now. I'll bring it back down and have her take a look at it again.

 

[Dmmetler]

We have gone back and forth between AoPS and LOF for this exact reason. Sometimes, AOPS is just too much for DD at that particular time, and LOF seems to provide the support she needs when she's a little overwrought.

 

[deerforest]

My daughter is very similar. We really did very little real math until we started BA in 2nd. She thrived in BA and is extremely good at math. But, honestly, she doesn't really like math for math's sake. She visibly shuddered when I asked if she wanted to go to math camp. She has at least 1000 other things she would rather do than math. Who cares if she's good at it?! (From her perspective; plus she keeps trying to tell me she's bad at it....) We do a TON of living math. Still. We still use manipulatives. We still watch videos. Play games. Read books. 

 

I probably own every pre-algebra book out there. We're just about finished with pre-algebra now, but I can say with certainty that we didn't finish any single book. I used content from Math Mammoth, Dolciani, Lial, TabletClass, Jousting Armadillos, AoPS. Let's not forget things like Danica McKellar (which she loves), courses on EdX, Great Courses, YouTube... 

 

I think you get the idea.

 

DD is normally a very fast learner. When she gets something, she gets it and can't be bothered to practice it. So, we can zip along at a nice speed for a while until she hits a wall. It's never a wall I see coming. Earlier in her math learning, I was prepared for a wall at long division, for example. Nope. Not even an eye blink. She even eagerly pronounced how much she loved long division! But, cross multiplying fractions? Wow. I think I found everything I could on that. We had to spend a lot of time showing why it worked. She's not a kid who memorizes algorithms. The result is we can fly through a lot of content until she suddenly can't. She's fairly evenly balanced as a visual, auditory, or kinetic learner which sounds great in theory. But, when she is stuck, I never know what technique will un-stick her. It is absolutely never doing more of the same.

 

She also thrives on conceptual learning for math, which is probably why she loved BA. However, she isn't keen on the discovery method without those Beasts along for the ride. So, I use AoPS backwards. I often go to it for the conceptual understanding rather than the discovery math. She absolutely wants to know why but she doesn't want to dig around trying to find it. I get that. Just because she's good at math doesn't mean she has to like it.

 

So, our BA 5B arrives today (hopefully), and it will all be review, but she's thrilled. She wants me to keep buying until it's finished, and I will. Just like I've started building up my arsenal of living math and curricula for algebra. She'll continue to be a strong math student because I'll continue to figure out the best meandering path for her. But, she'll never want to do a math competition. We're unlikely to continue to use AoPS beyond pre-algebra. And, that's okay.

 

[zarabellesmom]

We have gone back and forth between AoPS and LOF for this exact reason. Sometimes, AOPS is just too much for DD at that particular time, and LOF seems to provide the support she needs when she's a little overwrought.

 

 

Yes, overwrought is exactly the word.

 

 

 

She also thrives on conceptual learning for math, which is probably why she loved BA. However, she isn't keen on the discovery method without those Beasts along for the ride. So, I use AoPS backwards. I often go to it for the conceptual understanding rather than the discovery math. She absolutely wants to know why but she doesn't want to dig around trying to find it. I get that. Just because she's good at math doesn't mean she has to like it.

 

So, our BA 5B arrives today (hopefully), and it will all be review, but she's thrilled. She wants me to keep buying until it's finished, and I will. Just like I've started building up my arsenal of living math and curricula for algebra. She'll continue to be a strong math student because I'll continue to figure out the best meandering path for her. But, she'll never want to do a math competition. We're unlikely to continue to use AoPS beyond pre-algebra. And, that's okay.

  

 

When she was frustrated yesterday it was one of the first problems in the lesson. She was not at all impressed with the discovery method at that moment. She is pretty intuitive most of the time and when it didn't work the way she thought it would, she was really upset. It was clear we were done for the day because she had shut down. This morning she was still mad about yesterday so not much was accomplished. I've told her we can watch the videos first (she really likes that part) work through exercises at the front of the lesson together as the teaching part and then she can tackle the problems at the end of the lesson with less direction from me. She might consider that later when she's not still mad about being wrong (about something she's never been taught to do, good grief).

 

When my Dd got stuck with AoPS pre-a, we would do some work in Dolciani's pre-a book. It's a solid text but provided a break from the intensity of AoPS.

I wish I could take a look at the inside of that book. I know you can find copies pretty cheaply on amazon but I'd like to at least glance at the inside.

[KSinNS]

My very similar son struggled in the first few chapters of AOPS pre algebra. We worked together, and did it very slowly, 30-45 mins, no stress or goals to finish. I let him struggle a little, then offered hints and help when necessary. He also got to see me and his dad struggle with some of the problems, which was funny and I think reassuring for him. Fast forward a year, and he is flying through it and happy and independent. We also grab another book to drill anything he needs more practise on. He will take abou 18 months to finish the prea book, but well worth it. About 9 months of that was chapters 1-5.

[JoJosMom]

Could you take a bit of a break from standard curricula and just use something like Zaccaro books for a while?  They are fun and conversational in tone, but the Einstein level problems should challenge her, as well.

[SanDiegoMom]

What helped my son in Aops was:

1. Reassuring him that there are a lot of other homeschoolers doing Aops in all different ways at all different ages. Knowing that there are kids out there that struggle the same way in the same places, that use the videos first when they have to, that come back to the challenging problems at a later date if they need to- gave him the freedom to feel frustrated and be ok with it.

 

2. Also I drove in the whole 70% is acceptable according to Richard R. But there were chapters that drove him to tears. He's getting ok with failing and looking at the solution manual when he needs.

 

3. But it still also depends on the day, the amount of sleep, the amount of food and the time of day. ALL of those factors decide how he will react to a difficult set of problems.

[Kareni]

I wish I could take a look at the inside of that book. I know you can find copies pretty cheaply on amazon but I'd like to at least glance at the inside.

 

Is it possible that your library could borrow it for you through inter-library loan?

 

Or you might use WorldCat to see if a nearby library has a copy.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Roadrunner]

I believe there are many ways to learn math well. There is AoPS for some, but if a curriculum is making a kid unhappy and bringing tears, it's worth exploring other options. AoPS isn't the only thing on the market. I have decided that my youngest DS will stick it out with SM because I simply can't handle emotional meltdowns with every wrong answer. My oldest has thrived with AoPS, but these books have provided an appropriate challenge level for him and have not been frustrating at all. 

[zarabellesmom]

Update:  I pulled Jousting Armadillos out for her to look at and showed her where she would be in that book (about halfway through because of having done some of it late last school year and having done AoPS this year) and asked her if she wanted to look through it and see if she would like it better. We did the section on LCM and after, I asked her what she thought and she said she wanted to stay with AoPS.  ???  Luckily BA arrived and so I thought all would be well but a day later she was crying about the difference between mean and average. Apparently it's not the particular math, it's just math. It's also funny (funny weird, not funny haha) that she can do the work but it's the why that makes her angry. How dare mean and average be two different things?  It's like we are on an emotional roller coaster and there's no way off. This is an awful age. The whining, crying and anger spread from math this week to piano and writing as well. We need the school year to come to an end, fast!!!

 

ETA: and ballet, crying about ballet. I think I'll wander over and post on the middle school commiseration thread.

Edited May 2, 2016 by ZaraBellesMom