When to take a dyslexic student out of public school....

[Kaitfish]

I'm addicted to this forum because it's so nice to find intelligent mothers/educators whom are willing to share their ideas and suggestions. I'm going to keep this super short. I tried to search the forum for suggestions before posting this. If you know of a discussion on this topic already, will you lead me to it?

 

My current decision:

My dau is in special education off and on throughout her day at school (math, reading and writing). This transition happened about a month ago. The beginning of the year she wasn't this stressed out, but now that she has so many para pros and schedules to juggle, I think it has maxed her out.

 

She is feeling overwhelmed with all of the transitions, inadequate amongst her peers, and is mad at herself for being so easily distracted (all of this coming out only the past few months). The school knows absolutely nothing about dyslexia and it was not even discussed by them in their IEP meeting until I was pushing for it.  I sat with my dau in her math-time class last week and I was so overwhelmed. The class has 27 kids in it, walls filled with stimulus and words all over the room- up to the ceiling actually. My dau is in the very back and sits next to an obnoxious kid (I have had her moved three times). So many kids off task. Wonderful teacher, just so many distractions.

 

Shorter story: not a great environment for a dyslexic, easily distracted, child. More confused and frustrated.

 

With my background in psychology and case management, and after reading the numerous books recently and online articles about dyslexia learning styles etc., I'm ready to pull her out and do our own curriculum that I can focus on her strengths. I have her set up to meet with a specialized tutor too for an assessment. We have already started Barton and are doing it in the evenings, which I think is really great to start from ground zero and building up.

 

QUESTION: Why is it so hard for me to finally pull her out of public school? How do I know it's the right decision? How can I build my confidence? She is so eager to learn and very bright. She is an amazing artist and I feel like we never have time for her to explore her art. We have a great relationship and I really enjoy spending time helping her learn. Has anyone else been in this position? Is there something else I should try before I pull her out?

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I hope to someday be able to help encourage moms that are in my same position, just getting started on this new path. I also have a three year old son and a 6 year old son (who is already reading above my dau's level). 

Edited March 2, 2016 by Kaitfish

[Crimson Wife]

If you think that you can provide a better education for her at home than the school will, then take her out NOW. Simple as that.

 

My special needs child is in a full-time special day class and I have no plans to homeschool her because I could either HS just her alone or just my 2 older kids. I can't handle all 3 at once with the intensity of intervention that my little one needs. So after looking at what the district is willing to do for my SN child vs. what they would do for my older kids, what is best for our family is putting DD2 in school and HSing my older 2.

 

If I win that $292M PowerBall jackpot, I would pull DD2 and put together a "dream team" of tutors, therapists, etc. to work with her at home. But that's not in my budget right now.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I have definitely been where you are, only I didn't ask the right questions and when I started I asked all the wrong people (namely the teachers teaching my child, who were lovely people but knew absolutely NOTHING about learning challenges like dyslexia).  You are ahead of the game in that respect.  

 

I realize this is scary and I won't lie, there may be days you feel overwhelmed and inadequate to the job.  Just know that spending one on one time with you, moving at a pace that she can successfully navigate, supporting her strengths while working on her weak areas, is going to be almost certainly better than being in the environment you describe.  I, too, sat in classrooms and was saddened to see how chaotic it was, how little focused time there was to learn, how often the teacher had to stop lessons to deal with discipline or administrative issues or just got distracted and off track and how many kids were either bored out of their skulls or lost and confused or super distracted.

 

You can do this.  And committing to this doesn't mean forever.  

[Kaitfish]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I have definitely been where you are, only I didn't ask the right questions and when I started I asked all the wrong people (namely the teachers teaching my child, who were lovely people but knew absolutely NOTHING about learning challenges like dyslexia).  You are ahead of the game in that respect.  

 

I realize this is scary and I won't lie, there may be days you feel overwhelmed and inadequate to the job.  Just know that spending one on one time with you, moving at a pace that she can successfully navigate, supporting her strengths while working on her weak areas, is going to be almost certainly better than being in the environment you describe.  I, too, sat in classrooms and was saddened to see how chaotic it was, how little focused time there was to learn, how often the teacher had to stop lessons to deal with discipline or administrative issues or just got distracted and off track and how many kids were either bored out of their skulls or lost and confused or super distracted.

 

You can do this.  And committing to this doesn't mean forever.  

Thank you, that made me cry actually. Im so needing all the encouragement I can find! I have my 3 yr old at a montessori school 3 days a week and 6 yr old doing well in public s now so I think I will have the time to pull it off. I just feel nervous that i wont be enough...but what I can give her is more than what she is currently getting. Very true. Thank you!  :grouphug:

[Lecka]

My kids are in public school.

 

I have got a lot of reasons they are in, positive good reasons. 

 

I don't think I could keep them in if I went and it seemed like that. 

 

My kids are  younger.  I am also in the midst of some "conversation" wrt one of my kids and it is exhausting me ---- but I think it is very GOOD for him, too. 

 

I have another son who has a lot of signs of dyslexia, officially he is diagnosed with dysgraphia.  He is spending a lot of his day in the resource room now, but I have been in, and it is quiet and calm, and the resource teacher dotes on him. 

 

This is all still in elementary school.  They have concern about him making the transition to middle school (year after next) and think he will be in a resource room program there, too. 

 

Anyways...... of course you can do it!  You already do a lot, or are planning to -- and dyslexia stuff just takes up a lot of time. 

 

It sounds like it would be an improvement in her quality of life and her education. 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Some suggestions that may or may not help:

 

1.  Plan on a bit of a "detox" period.  Maybe just work on math and language arts each day but the rest of the time pursue outside interests, take some field trips to interesting sites in your area, maybe find local homeschooling groups and see if they have some fun things coming up.  Give her a chance to reset her brain and her stress level a bit.

 

2.  Language Arts: You already have Barton.  I assume she passed the student screening and you passed the tutor screening.  That will take care of all your language arts for now, except I encourage you to do read alouds or have her listen to audio books with more advanced content than what she can actually decode.  She needs exposure to more advanced vocabulary/grammar/story structure, etc. while staying away from out loud reading in material that will slow down her reading remediation.  Let her pick books she has interest in.  Don't worry about formal writing until after she finishes Level 4 of Barton but if she wants to practice cursive or just handwriting you could get the StartWrite software and type up some cursive or print words/phrases/passages to trace/copy, either from Barton or maybe from sources she has interest in.

 

3.  Math.  If she is struggling in math, I HIGHLY recommend working to determine where the disconnect is before buying a ton of resources.  Maybe her subitization skills are weak.  If so, look at Ronit Bird materials/books/e-books.  If she needs practice with math facts, then work on those separately while you allow her to use a reference chart during normal lessons.  Find where the disconnect is and don't be afraid to go way, way back to solidify basic skills.  Don't build her math knowledge on a house of sand.

 

4.  For Science and History, let her do some interest led pursuits or do some read alouds and documentaries for the time being.

 

5.  Your DD loves art.  Feed that.  Maybe sign her up for a local art class or a self-paced on-line class or just peruse you tube videos.  You also might consider getting a lockable cabinet.  We ordered a metal one that was damaged but reparable and got it for a fraction of the original cost. All of DD's art supplies go in there so younger kids coming over don't have access.  She keeps her more expensive supplies in there and pulls them out at will to work on whatever project has her interest at that time.  She loves knowing that her special art supplies are safe when she isn't using them and it helped her to feel supported in her interests.

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Are you in the U.S.?  If so, what state are you in?  Have you read up on the laws in your state/country?  Make sure you are following local laws.  Do you think the school will fight you?  Know your legal rights and make sure you withdraw her in writing and based on your state laws.  You might want to join HSLDA for a bit of support.  At least browse their website.  I don't always agree with that organization but they will help out homeschoolers who run into aggressive school districts.

[Kaitfish]

Some suggestions that may or may not help:

 

1.  Plan on a bit of a "detox" period.  Maybe just work on math and language arts each day but the rest of the time pursue outside interests, take some field trips to interesting sites in your area, maybe find local homeschooling groups and see if they have some fun things coming up.  Give her a chance to reset her brain and her stress level a bit.

 

2.  Language Arts: You already have Barton.  I assume she passed the student screening and you passed the tutor screening.  That will take care of all your language arts for now, except I encourage you to do read alouds or have her listen to audio books with more advanced content than what she can actually decode.  She needs exposure to more advanced vocabulary/grammar/story structure, etc. while staying away from out loud reading in material that will slow down her reading remediation.  Let her pick books she has interest in.  Don't worry about formal writing until after she finishes Level 4 of Barton but if she wants to practice cursive or just handwriting you could get the StartWrite software and type up some cursive or print words/phrases/passages to trace/copy, either from Barton or maybe from sources she has interest in.

 

3.  Math.  If she is struggling in math, I HIGHLY recommend working to determine where the disconnect is before buying a ton of resources.  Maybe her subitization skills are weak.  If so, look at Ronit Bird materials/books/e-books.  If she needs practice with math facts, then work on those separately while you allow her to use a reference chart during normal lessons.  Find where the disconnect is and don't be afraid to go way, way back to solidify basic skills.  Don't build her math knowledge on a house of sand.

 

4.  For Science and History, let her do some interest led pursuits or do some read alouds and documentaries for the time being.

 

5.  Your DD loves art.  Feed that.  Maybe sign her up for a local art class or a self-paced on-line class or just peruse you tube videos.  You also might consider getting a lockable cabinet.  We ordered a metal one that was damaged but reparable and got it for a fraction of the original cost. All of DD's art supplies go in there so younger kids coming over don't have access.  She keeps her more expensive supplies in there and pulls them out at will to work on whatever project has her interest at that time.  She loves knowing that her special art supplies are safe when she isn't using them and it helped her to feel supported in her interests.

 

Great Ideas! I love what said about starting out with a re-set. I am teaching her how to fly fish and we have gone on some great mother-daughter expeditions this winter. I am hoping to do some of our work outside as well. I think we could both use a bit of a stress-reset here. Great suggestions, I am printing them out.!!

[Kaitfish]

Are you in the U.S.?  If so, what state are you in?  Have you read up on the laws in your state/country?  Make sure you are following local laws.  Do you think the school will fight you?  Know your legal rights and make sure you withdraw her in writing and based on your state laws.  You might want to join HSLDA for a bit of support.  At least browse their website.  I don't always agree with that organization but they will help out homeschoolers who run into aggressive school districts.

 

I am in IDaho. I read through the laws and it says I have the right to take her out at any time and homeschool. I mentioned to the school initially that we may be pulling her out. The principal is a great lady and so are all of the teachers, which makes it hard to pull her away from, but they just dont have the time to give her what she needs at this point. I will check out that HSLDA program as welll. Good idea! Thanks!

[OneStepAtATime]

I am in IDaho. I read through the laws and it says I have the right to take her out at any time and homeschool. I mentioned to the school initially that we may be pulling her out. The principal is a great lady and so are all of the teachers, which makes it hard to pull her away from, but they just dont have the time to give her what she needs at this point. I will check out that HSLDA program as welll. Good idea! Thanks!

Oh, that's great that the school is supportive so far.   Just make sure you do it in writing.  There have been some incidents where kids have been pulled out but one administrative department did not work with another and a child was labeled delinquent instead of withdrawn for homeschooling.

 

Do the schools in your area work with homeschoolers at all?  Do they let homeschoolers take certain classes without being a full time student?  I was just thinking that if later on she really missed school or you and she felt that certain classes at school would be fun/helpful, she might be able to still take some classes at school while still homeschooling the rest if that seemed a good idea.

 

P.S. I understand having a hard time leaving good teachers and a good school.  Although some teachers were really not even willing to acknowledge that DD and DS had learning issues, and one in particular was truly awful and caused a lot of emotional damage, they both also had some great teachers that we really cared about.  

[Heathermomster]

What is her age and grade? Was she premature?  What specific remediation or therapies has she received?

[Kaitfish]

What is her age and grade? Was she premature?  What specific remediation or therapies has she received?

She is 8 and in 2nd grade. She was not premature but actually 9 lbs 10 oz and they had to use the vaccum to get her out. REally rough time learning how to breastfeed. And learning letters/numbers took a very long time. She was otherwise on track developmentally wise. We have an appointment with a OT and a tutor. Do you have any other recommendations of therapies? Thank you!

[Kaitfish]

Oh, that's great that the school is supportive so far.   Just make sure you do it in writing.  There have been some incidents where kids have been pulled out but one administrative department did not work with another and a child was labeled delinquent instead of withdrawn for homeschooling.

 

Do the schools in your area work with homeschoolers at all?  Do they let homeschoolers take certain classes without being a full time student?  I was just thinking that if later on she really missed school or you and she felt that certain classes at school would be fun/helpful, she might be able to still take some classes at school while still homeschooling the rest if that seemed a good idea.

 

P.S. I understand having a hard time leaving good teachers and a good school.  Although some teachers were really not even willing to acknowledge that DD and DS had learning issues, and one in particular was truly awful and caused a lot of emotional damage, they both also had some great teachers that we really cared about.  

Thanks! Good idea about the 'get it in writing'. I am going to talk to the school on Friday to see if there is a chance we could explore the option of part time at school.... I wonder if that would work out. Thanks, I did not even think of that!

[OneStepAtATime]

She is 8 and in 2nd grade. She was not premature but actually 9 lbs 10 oz and they had to use the vaccum to get her out. REally rough time learning how to breastfeed. And learning letters/numbers took a very long time. She was otherwise on track developmentally wise. We have an appointment with a OT and a tutor. Do you have any other recommendations of therapies? Thank you!

Have her evaluations only been through the school?  If so, you might look at a neuropsych eval.  Schools sometimes have limited experience or a limited view so evals may not be as comprehensive as a neuropsych evaluation...

[Ravin]

My DD has different issues (Math disability, anxiety/mood disorder, ADD-inattentive), but we pulled her from brick and mortar school at the beginning of the current school year. The last straw was learning that the math teacher who had decided she was a problem and that her anxiety was why she wasn't learning math (rather than math triggering her anxiety). We put her in an online charter, and it's been a disaster. It's taken them WAY too long to get her evaluated for an IEP, and as soon as we have the eval results, we plan on pulling her.

 

I would have done it months ago, but DH is the parent who is home with her most during the week, so he needed convincing. At this point, we have decided that she will probably learn more sitting around watching youtube videos about styling hair than she is from formal education--and her mental health will improve.

 

So there, that's my measure: Do you honestly think you will do worse teaching your own child than the school is doing right now? If not, pull her.

Edited March 3, 2016 by Ravin

[Kaitfish]

My DD has different issues (Math disability, anxiety/mood disorder, ADD-inattentive), but we pulled her from brick and mortar school at the beginning of the current school year. The last straw was learning that the math teacher who had decided she was a problem and that her anxiety was why she wasn't learning math (rather than math triggering her anxiety) was the last straw. We put her in an online charter, and it's been a disaster. It's taken them WAY too long to get her evaluated for an IEP, and as soon as we have the eval results, we plan on pulling  her.

 

I would have done it months ago, but DH is the parent who is home with her most during the week, so he needed convincing. At this point, we have decided that she will probably learn more sitting around watching youtube videos about styling hair than she is from formal education--and her mental health will improve.

 

So there, that's my measure: Do you honestly think you will do worse teaching your own child than the school is doing right now? If not, pull her.

Very solid advice and measure... I hope your little does so much better without the stress and anxiety. Learning should be a little bit fun at least, right?! Thanks for weighing in!

[ElizabethB]

Idaho has open enrollment, you could let her take art in the school if that was an interest, or band, etc. Talk to her and then talk to the administration at school if she is interested, I would not ask if your daughter was not interested.

[OneStepAtATime]

Very solid advice and measure... I hope your little does so much better without the stress and anxiety. Learning should be a little bit fun at least, right?! Thanks for weighing in!

Learning absolutely can be fun, especially at 8.  She is so young.  Let her have fun, explore her passions, find areas of interest, do hands on math, fun read alouds, maybe grow a garden, etc.  .  Let her be a kid.  Set aside a little time each day to work on areas of struggle but don't let that define who she is, even inadvertently.  I made that mistake when I first brought the kids home and I didn't even realize I was doing it.  I spent so much time researching dyslexia and dysgraphia and working on remediation and talking with others about those things that I failed to focus on their strengths and interests.  I wish I had that time back.  Our first year would almost certainly have been better.  

[Kaitfish]

Have her evaluations only been through the school?  If so, you might look at a neuropsych eval.  Schools sometimes have limited experience or a limited view so evals may not be as comprehensive as a neuropsych evaluation...

 

What would a neuro-psych evaluation give me? I feel like the data from the school didn't really tell me more than I already knew about her. She was diagnosed dyslexic through a test outside of the school. I would be interested in a neuropsych test to learn more about the best ways to teach her, etc. Did they give you great suggestions for where to go from there?

[ElizabethB]

What would a neuro-psych evaluation give me? I feel like the data from the school didn't really tell me more than I already knew about her. She was diagnosed dyslexic through a test outside of the school. I would be interested in a neuropsych test to learn more about the best ways to teach her, etc. Did they give you great suggestions for where to go from there?

I would start with a covd vision screening. My MIL goes to Dr. Lewis in Boise, he is excellent. She had a stroke. Her therapy is slightly different than what he does with younger children. I have not met him but she has asked him questions for me about students in other states and he has always had good ideas for them.

 

http://www.focusvisiontherapycenter.com/about.htm

[OneStepAtATime]

What would a neuro-psych evaluation give me? I feel like the data from the school didn't really tell me more than I already knew about her. She was diagnosed dyslexic through a test outside of the school. I would be interested in a neuropsych test to learn more about the best ways to teach her, etc. Did they give you great suggestions for where to go from there?

It depends on the neuropsychologist.  Some will just toss a bunch of numbers at you.  Others will sit down with you and explain those numbers.  Still others will also give you suggestions for where to go from there.  A full, professional eval will tweak out not just weaknesses and struggle areas but also strengths that might be masked by the struggle areas.  Also, if you don't have one already, a full eval would give you more details, including an IQ test, and would break down the details of the struggles.

 

For instance,  a child may have "dyslexia" but the reading struggles may actually be caused by a combination of things, such as phonological processing issues coupled with low working memory.  There are many things that can be co-morbid.  It helps to have a fuller picture.  

 

An example:  Maybe the child is actually gifted but learning challenges are keeping the student from performing well academically.  Failing to support the gifted side of the child's needs could cause the child to withdraw/rebel/suffer from depression.  They stop progressing in their remediation but the parent/tutor attributes the struggles to needing to break the material down even further, move even more slowly.  Instead, what the child needs is their strengths fed, too.  If the giftedness is not known then that side may never be addressed.

 

Another example:  In 1st grade my son seemed to be reading.  He got 100s on his Accelerated Reader comprehension tests.  He also got 100s on his spelling tests in school.  His handwriting was slow but it actually looked quite nice, especially compared to other classmates his age.  When he started struggling in 2nd we had no clue why.  When we finally had him evaluated we found several strengths and weaknesses we didn't know he had.  

 

1.  He wasn't actually reading.  He had phenomenal auditory memory and would have others read him his stories before he "read" them back.  He thought he was reading.  We thought he was reading.  He could repeat, verbatim, 70 or 80 pages (granted, they were books with a lot of pictures) and have full comprehension.  He wasn't actually decoding the words.  He didn't even know it.  Knowing this meant that we were able to tap into that strength for certain types of learning but we also recognized that we had to take a different approach for certain things, like learning to decode words.  His strength was masking his weaknesses and his weaknesses were masking his strength.

 

2.  He was getting 100s on his spelling tests because we were mainly reviewing verbally.  He could remember the sequence of letters long enough to pass the tests with flying colors because of his great auditory memory but he wasn't actually learning how to spell.  There was little long term retention. Again, his strength was masking his weaknesses and his weaknesses were masking his strength.

 

3.  While he could write neatly, his handwriting was way slower than it should have been and he had to concentrate quite a bit on forming the letters.  We didn't realize how much of his working memory resources he was using just to write.  He could not copy work from the board nor could he write on anything but the big, lined tablet paper he had been taught to write on in kinder and 1st.  He could not judge the size and spacing of his letters on any other type of paper.  No one realized he had a weird form of dysgraphia.  Everyone said it couldn't be dysgraphia because his handwriting was legible on the lined paper. 

 

4.  He needs color.  When things are presented in black and white his comprehension plummets. 

 

5.  Although he is extremely articulate, and has spoken very clearly since he was tiny, he has an auditory processing glitch for certain sounds.  This directly affects his ability to decode words and to spell.

 

Getting assessments through the school and a "specialist" really gave us very little information and in fact on a couple of things they were wrong.  Getting an evaluation through someone trained to do more thorough and comprehensive evaluations helped us more.  Did it give us a clearly laid out, fool proof path to follow with lots of detailed guidelines?  Sadly, no.  We still had to keep trying things to find the most successful path for the kids.  It definitely gave us ideas for where to look, though...

 

Anyway, I am probably not explaining things well.  I am sorry.  I am tired and need to finish some other work so I will post this as is and hope it helped a bit to answer your question.  Hopefully others will chime in, too.

 

Best wishes.  :)

[OneStepAtATime]

I would start with a covd vision screening. My MIL goes to Dr. Lewis in Boise, he is excellent. She had a stroke. Her therapy is slightly different than what he does with younger children. I have not met him but she has asked him questions for me about students in other states and he has always had good ideas for them.

 

http://www.focusvisiontherapycenter.com/about.htm

Yes I agree this might be a good place to start.  DS has heterophoria but no regular eye doctor caught it.  Vision issues are not the same as dyslexia but they can cause remediation of dyslexia to be a lot harder and can also mimic some of the signs of dyslexia.  You can have perfect visual acuity, pass every normal eye screening with flying colors, but still have a developmental vision issue.

[Kaitfish]

Thank you so much, One Step at A Time mama! Good info. I will continue to research this!

[OneStepAtATime]

Thank you so much, One Step at A Time mama! Good info. I will continue to research this!

Best wishes.  :)

[Heathermomster]

Once my DS was diagnosed dyslexic late 1st grade at a Scottish Rite Learning Center, I read a book called Overcoming Dyslexia by Shaywitz.  I used the info in that book to guide us as we sought specific reading helps to address the dyslexia.  Son attended a private school at the time, and the school hired Wilson Reading tutors for their dyslexic students.  I called the public school and almost immediately ruled them out.  I visited a local dyslexia school and spoke with the director and found the tuition to be too much.  Emotional and behavior problems from a couple of students concerned me as well.  We opted to stay at the private school, and DS used the Wilson tutor three times per week beginning 2nd grade.  DS worked with a Wilson tutor for 5 years.

 

While DS was enrolled at the private school, I kept in close contact with the teachers to accommodate DS using audio books.  DS is 2e with 3 SLDs.  The handwriting became too much by 5th grade, so we brought him home, and he learned to type.  DS returned one more year for 6th grade.  My DS is an A student which is remarkable considering his SLDs.  We pulled DS because I could tell that he wasn't getting the instruction that he needed.  The 6th grade math teacher wasn't good.  Teachers at the logic stage were pushing back over DS using an Alphasmart in the classroom.  The teachers took the view of sink or swim and didn't want to scaffold him at all.  These kiddos require scaffolding and supports far longer than the average student.  School basically became a bad fit.  Once home for 7th grade, I hired a O-G certified reading instructor that teaches writing to dyslexic students, and we used her for two years.  At home, I can accelerate where DS needs to be accelerated and work slowly with appropriate curriculum choices that suit his needs.  My confidence grew with homeschooling as I afterschooled him. As a 10th grader, DS takes a few outside classes with teachers that allow him to type and carry an Echo Smartpen to class.  He is expected to complete all his work like any other student.  

 

OP, I suggest you go to an COVD.com VT and get the eyes checked.  DS has been np tested three times and just qualified for extra time on the ACT exam.  If your 8 year old is not reading, she needs direct and explicit multisensory reading instruction.  If the school will not provide that service, you are going to need to find a way to get her the helps she needs.  Barton Reading and Spelling's website has a pretest that you can administer to determine whether she is ready for the Barton Reading Program.

 

Probably the best helps that I received come from experienced homeschool mothers.  I never imagined when DS started school  that I would bring him home.  I homeschool both my children now, and the experience has been great so far.   Remediation materials are expensive and there is often a lot of trial and error used to determine what is and isn't a good fit for your student.

 

 

Edited March 3, 2016 by Heathermomster

[displace]

 

She is feeling overwhelmed with all of the transitions, inadequate amongst her peers, and is mad at herself for being so easily distracted (all of this coming out only the past few months). The school knows absolutely nothing about dyslexia and it was not even discussed by them in their IEP meeting until I was pushing for it.  I sat with my dau in her math-time class last week and I was so overwhelmed. The class has 27 kids in it, walls filled with stimulus and words all over the room- up to the ceiling actually. My dau is in the very back and sits next to an obnoxious kid (I have had her moved three times). So many kids off task. Wonderful teacher, just so many distractions.

 

Shorter story: not a great environment for a dyslexic, easily distracted, child. More confused and frustrated.

 

With my background in psychology and case management, and after reading the numerous books recently and online articles about dyslexia learning styles etc., I'm ready to pull her out and do our own curriculum that I can focus on her strengths. I have her set up to meet with a specialized tutor too for an assessment. We have already started Barton and are doing it in the evenings, which I think is really great to start from ground zero and building up.

 

QUESTION: Why is it so hard for me to finally pull her out of public school? How do I know it's the right decision? How can I build my confidence? She is so eager to learn and very bright. She is an amazing artist and I feel like we never have time for her to explore her art. We have a great relationship and I really enjoy spending time helping her learn. Has anyone else been in this position? Is there something else I should try before I pull her out?

 

 

 

I can give one perspective.  DS was in public school for K and part of first.  We got a diagnosis of giftedness in K, repeat testing showed some discrepancies in early first, and a third physician gave the additional diagnoses of dyslexia, dyspraxia, and dysgraphia.  With giftedness, DS was eligible for pull out gifted classes which we tried in first grade.  The Kindergarten teacher did not recommend gifted classes after learning of DS's testing (and she barely recommended advancement to first grade).  The gifted teachers seemed unable to comprehend that an intelligent person may not be able to read.  When we finally got the dyslexia and other diagnoses we pulled DS out within a week.  We pulled out so quickly because of multiple reasons: I knew before the results what the likelihood of success was in a public school setting.  There are few OG trained reading specialists in schools (depending on where you are there may or may not be one).  There were no regular OTs to help with dysgraphia.  The school tended to drop services if you were on grade level.  DS felt stupid.  We needed occupational and physical therapy.  The school did not teach spelling, handwriting, or a true reading program.  The math problems were mostly based on one's ability to read them.  DS didn't do his own work but had a helper student write for him and read for him.  We worked on remediation 1 hour after school daily. 

This is unsustainable for most people and I had an ability to homeschool.  There is no way to know if it's the right decision or not to homeschool or keep in public school.  I would have tried to fight the good fight (IEP, 504, etc) at that time if: the gifted teachers didn't act like there was a mistake WRT DS's scores, the school had an OG tutor that would work with DS daily, there were an OT or helper that would work on handwriting daily, the teacher would scribe and read aloud for DS for everything except a short handwriting lesson.  I needed to ensure that every time DS wrote a letter, or read a word he was doing it correctly, and, that he knew he wasn't stupid because he couldn't read and write.

 

I did a ton of research prior to pulling out.  Dyslexic advantage is a great website and there are lots of youtube videos to self educate (from dyslexic advantage). 

 

I would encourage full testing as someone else mentioned.  That may influence what you do.  If the school has supports for everything and they are helpful then it may be a good idea. 

 

That being said, we are going to do a trial run of public school in the fall (we think).  It is a full day gifted classroom, which rumor says for 2e students we may have more success at.  We will not be remediating at school and I do not expect it.  This is key because if I were expecting remediation I am sure it wouldn't work out well.  Accommodations I will be asking for will be for DS to be able to type everything requiring written work, and to use dictation software for any work more than a few sentences, all curriculum and assignments known ahead of time to allow up the ability to get curriculum to read aloud or from Learning Ally (an audiobook service for those with blindness or learning disabilities), probably a scribe for testing situations/possibly a reader, and extra time for assignments.  I will still teach spelling, reading, handwriting, and typing at home.  I would not even consider public school a possibility if DS were not reading at the level he is.  He is at grade level, after having caught up 2 grades in one year.  I'm hopeful to keep him at least at grade level.

 

I have no reserve to pull out of public school anymore (though I did before we started homeschooling).  I see public school as a trial for us.  I will pull out quickly (within one to two months) for: poor self-esteem, general unhappiness, inability for DS to tolerate the classroom, lack of proper accommodation (required reading much above his level during class, lots of writing or compositions physically), or too much homework.

Edited March 4, 2016 by displace

[Pen]

when I was at the stage you are at, the parent of a friend of my son's who had pulled his child out (for different reasons) told me it is hardest just before actually doing it

 

that doing it, you just take it step by step and it is not as hard as it looks like it will be

 

 

 

also, it does not have to be a forever decision

if you try it, and it seemed like school was better after all

she can go back

[Kaitfish]

Thank you all! Great advice and things to think about. I checked in today about having her in school part time,  but the teacher said since she has an IEP, she has to be in school pretty much all or nothing...I'm going to talk to the principal friday. That seems weird to me, especially since an IEP can be modified. I so appreciate your ideas!! More the merrier! Thanks!

Edited March 4, 2016 by Kaitfish

[ElizabethB]

HSLDA says about students on an IEP:

 

A student may dual enroll and enter into any program in the public school available to other students subject to the compliance with the same rules and requirements. If enrollment for a specific program reaches the maximum priority for enrollment shall be given to a student enrolled in a public noncharter school. Idaho Code § 33-203

[Pen]

Thank you all! Great advice and things to think about. I checked in today about having her in school part time,  but the teacher said since she has an IEP, she has to be in school pretty much all or nothing...I'm going to talk to the principal friday. That seems weird to me, especially since an IEP can be modified. I so appreciate your ideas!! More the merrier! Thanks!

 

My ds had an IEP concurrent to being home schooled. We went over to the school for his IEP special work each day. That was not easy, but he was given more help as a home schooler than he had been when he was enrolled full time. Probably in part because I was there while he was there.

[ElizabethB]

I would print out the code and take it with you if you want your daughter in an art class at the school...it reads to me like they would be in violation of the law if they discriminated against allowing the dual enrollment (also sometimes called open enrollment) because of the IEP. Now, if she could not meet the requirements of a program, that is different, but since she is currently in the school I would think that that is not an issue. Here is more of the law:

 

http://www.iche-idaho.org/idaholaw.html#statelaws

[Kaitfish]

My ds had an IEP concurrent to being home schooled. We went over to the school for his IEP special work each day. That was not easy, but he was given more help as a home schooler than he had been when he was enrolled full time. Probably in part because I was there while he was there.

Thank you for the ideas everyone! That sounds like a very interesting idea. I am going to check it out. I also need to find out if I take her out, will she lose her IEP standing? There is a great art school with a special ed program I want to check out next year.

[Lecka]

Just as another thought, they might let you go into the school and do Barton with her at school in a study carrel.

 

Here it is on the rare side and it is for more severe special needs, but only requires the building principal to approve an outside tutor coming in. If you showed the principal Barton and Said you wanted to come and do it for a block of time -- who knows.

 

I don't think that is really desirable overall, but it is March and if you are looking for next year, maybe would work.

 

Otherwise ---- what do you lose with losing an IEP you can't get back? I am not aware of anything and I don't see this as an issue. If she improves they can have a meeting to take her IEP away anyways, if she still qualifies she will still qualify. I am sure I am missing something there -- I just wonder if that is a big deal?

[imagine.more]

 

So there, that's my measure: Do you honestly think you will do worse teaching your own child than the school is doing right now? If not, pull her.

Yup, this is what was our deciding factor too. And it's true, even with 5 kids, a move, and a pregnancy DD has made more progress at home in 2 years than she did in 6 years of public school.

[Kaitfish]

My ds had an IEP concurrent to being home schooled. We went over to the school for his IEP special work each day. That was not easy, but he was given more help as a home schooler than he had been when he was enrolled full time. Probably in part because I was there while he was there.

Good to know! Interesting. Thank you!

[Kaitfish]

I will find out about what it entails at our meeting this week, re: about losing an IEP, etc. I found out we have a grant in Idaho that helps students with disabilities have access to technology. I am meeting a guy out of the University of Idaho tomorrow who is going to assess her needs and give her a few I-pad designs to try, along with apps specific to dyslexia. I'm interested to learn more about this. Im also reading  a great book, called,The Dyslexic Advantage, by Brock Eide, M.D., M.A. and Fernette F. Eide, M.D. It is a great read, highlighting the strengths of Dyslexics and describing how their brains use the right and left hemispheres, etc. I like that it is focused on their strengths and the amazing things these kids can do when they grow up if they are applied and encouraged. Any other great books you recommend for a new homeschooler? Thanks, ladies!

[displace]

Best websites: dyslexic advantage (or their YouTube videos) by the same Drs. Eides, and the Yale center for dyslexia research (?), where Dr. Shaywitz works out of.

 

I'm also watching the Big Picture:rethinking dyslexia DVD.

 

These are not homeschooling resources per se, obviously.

[Pen]

I missed if it says how old (and what grade) your dd is. ?

 

Sally Shaywitz's Overcoming Dyslexia  (if I recall title) helped me a lot.

 

 

Different kids' dyslexia can manifest differently, so I suggest a somewhat gradual approach to figuring out what works well for your own dd. Don't buy too much at once.

 

Figure out things like whether she does better with a clean black and white lay out, or needs color. Is she helped by pictures and little side bars, or distracted by them? Does she do well with rules and decoding of nonsense words in a Barton style of remediation, or would another approach work better for her? Can she get most of her content from audio books? And if so does she need a human voice, or can she understand a computer voice? Does she learn well from documentaries, or is that not good for her? Is she a hands-on learner?

 

My son was the distractible type. He needed more plain and spare pages, not color--that is less extreme now, but still somewhat true. Does very well with audio learning for content, but needs human voice not computer generated. Does even better with documentaries. Does well with hands-on learning. I don't know how he would have done with Barton, but I suspect not all that well because rules and nonsense words approach does not work well for him. He was good at math, but has dyslexia type issues with it, such as memorizing, and lining up figures neatly, and words and clutter on the page did not work well for him -- and this is important to add, they did not work well for him even if he was attracted to a book that had more pictures and color, when it actually came time to doing the math and focus that has been, and continues to be, bad for him.  Sidebars and multiple typefaces on a page make it even worse.  An exception was that Beast Academy which came out with bad timing for his math level, actually seemed to be something that he could handle, and at the time it came out, became his first time that he could read and follow a cartoon layout...at that point he could already read a longish kid-book like The Red Pyramid, but the confusion of the layout of a cartoon, along with the different typefaces and dialog bubbles had been too much.

[ElizabethB]

Stanislas Dehaene's book "Reading in the Brain." He has some youtube stuff that is good, too.

[Kaitfish]

I missed if it says how old (and what grade) your dd is. ?

 

Sally Shaywitz's Overcoming Dyslexia  (if I recall title) helped me a lot.

 

 

Different kids' dyslexia can manifest differently, so I suggest a somewhat gradual approach to figuring out what works well for your own dd. Don't buy too much at once.

 

Figure out things like whether she does better with a clean black and white lay out, or needs color. Is she helped by pictures and little side bars, or distracted by them? Does she do well with rules and decoding of nonsense words in a Barton style of remediation, or would another approach work better for her? Can she get most of her content from audio books? And if so does she need a human voice, or can she understand a computer voice? Does she learn well from documentaries, or is that not good for her? Is she a hands-on learner?

 

My son was the distractible type. He needed more plain and spare pages, not color--that is less extreme now, but still somewhat true. Does very well with audio learning for content, but needs human voice not computer generated. Does even better with documentaries. Does well with hands-on learning. I don't know how he would have done with Barton, but I suspect not all that well because rules and nonsense words approach does not work well for him. He was good at math, but has dyslexia type issues with it, such as memorizing, and lining up figures neatly, and words and clutter on the page did not work well for him -- and this is important to add, they did not work well for him even if he was attracted to a book that had more pictures and color, when it actually came time to doing the math and focus that has been, and continues to be, bad for him.  Sidebars and multiple typefaces on a page make it even worse.  An exception was that Beast Academy which came out with bad timing for his math level, actually seemed to be something that he could handle, and at the time it came out, became his first time that he could read and follow a cartoon layout...at that point he could already read a longish kid-book like The Red Pyramid, but the confusion of the layout of a cartoon, along with the different typefaces and dialog bubbles had been too much.

Thanks, Pen. My DD is 8 yrs old, in the 2nd grade. It's amazing how well you know your son and what works for him! Barton is so far going well, but she is sometimes looking at me like, 'why are we doing this'. She is a big picture thinker and always wants to know how the steps connect. I'm going to work through it though because we have already learned that she struggles with a few of the specific sounds of the words. We found out today that she needs bigger letters, and she reads better with a off color background vs white. I am guessing the clutter on the page will not work for her because she is easily distracted. I'm trying to figure out what her best learning styles are- she is very creative and musical. When you say 'audio learning', are you just using the read Ipad apps for reading or what types of programs do you use? We just borrowed an Ipad today with several apps on it for reading and writing. Thanks for taking time to add your info! I'll check out that book for sure. 

[Heathermomster]

I must be half asleep.  I somehow missed that you are using Barton already.  Why isn't the school addressing reading remediation with your DD?  

 

With a diagnosed reading SLD, you can apply for a Bookshare.com membership and download books for your DD.  We use a $10 immersion app called VoiceDream that is available for Apple and Android devices.  We download many books using VoiceDream off of the free Gutenberg site.  You can also set up a Learning Ally account and use audio books through them.  LearningAlly works well with their free Apple app, but I don't know whether they use immersion technology.  We also use an ancient Kindle gen 1 Fire for audio books and immersion.

 

For letter formation practice, DD used the HWT IPad app early on.  She talks into her IPod now when orating narrations and saves the narrations to EverNote.  Yes, I am teaching my 8 yo to use EverNote with her IPod.  She even photographs her work on the whiteboard and sends us email.  

 

For math, the free MathMod app on the IPod with stylus could help for handwriting.  Can't think of anything else at present, but I'm sure there is more.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Heathermomster

[Pen]

Thanks, Pen. My DD is 8 yrs old, in the 2nd grade. It's amazing how well you know your son and what works for him! Barton is so far going well, but she is sometimes looking at me like, 'why are we doing this'. She is a big picture thinker and always wants to know how the steps connect. I'm going to work through it though because we have already learned that she struggles with a few of the specific sounds of the words. We found out today that she needs bigger letters, and she reads better with a off color background vs white. I am guessing the clutter on the page will not work for her because she is easily distracted. I'm trying to figure out what her best learning styles are- she is very creative and musical. When you say 'audio learning', are you just using the read Ipad apps for reading or what types of programs do you use? We just borrowed an Ipad today with several apps on it for reading and writing. Thanks for taking time to add your info! I'll check out that book for sure. 

 

 

Well, realize first of all that it took me a long time and a bunch of mistakes to figure out what tends to work for him and what doesn't--and worse, it does not stay the same forever.

 

Examples of audio learning: At around your dd's age, my son did very well getting his history from the Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer in its audio form read by Jim Weiss. He listened to the whole thing a number of times.  If your dd can learn that way or even just get a sense of the flow of history from nomads to the Fall of the USSR, I'd recommend that.  Also for her age and older I'd recommend the Young Indiana Jones series with its documentary parts in addition to the fiction--not all would be suited to an 8 year old, so you'd need to pick and choose, but my son learned a lot that later anchored other things. For example, he learned who Tolstoy was, and Picasso, and something about jazz and opera from that series.

 

My ds is older now, so what he is using now is less relevant, but just to give an idea, he listened to 3 history related Great Courses in Audible format. (By Audible, I mean the company, not just that it can be heard.) And also in Audible format he listened to the first two volumes of Susan Wise Bauer's History books for teen/adult level. Just listening is not good enough for high school when he will need to memorize more and do more for output, but I considered all that to be fine, or more than fine for his 7th grade (which he now is) history. Between these stages he had used documentaries a great deal, for example, to learn about the Vikings in 4th grade-ish, and World War 2 and 20th Century in 5th and 6th grade.  

 

I try to have him read a certain amount in content areas (history, science) now to work on that type of reading, but while some people can read much faster than they could listen to a book being read aloud, that is not true for my ds. Even though his reading is basically remediated, he is much slower and gets tired much faster reading from a book than listening. So most of his content subject learning is still coming from audio or audio visual or hands-on means. Also his literature has been from Audible (mainly), so he can now read popular young adult fiction(eg Hunger Games say, himself, but things like Uncle Tom's Cabin and other "literature" --especially if it has old ways of saying things or regional accents involved -- have been on Audible recordings.

 

My ds has seemed to do best with Audible recordings (generally read by skilled actors), next best with NLS recordings (usually pretty well read), not so well with Learning Ally (mixed-bag of readers, generally amateur volunteers apparently, and sometimes changes in readers for a single book)  and not very well at all with computerized text to speech. We have yet to make use of or try some other options such as librivox.

 

We have gotten some books as "Whispersync" with both the Kindle and Audible version, but my ds  seems to find the combo confusing and just looks or listens, but not so much both at the same time. However, I gather that some kids have found that a big help.

 

I do better with non-white backgrounds in reading. If it is not too shiny, you can use a suitable colored transparency and lay it over the page to make the background have a suitable tone.

 

My son was helped some with sounds by using talkingfingers.com's Read Write Type program because instead of cuing the child to type F with the letter name being said, the program would instead cue to type /f/ and make the sound that is supposed to be typed.

 

I did not find that work on writing (composition) before reading was largely remediated was especially useful beyond dictating stories to me. We gave up on cursive and my ds basically just types now or prints.

[Kaitfish]

Thanks, Pen! Great suggestions. I know its going to take some time to figure this all out. Her last day of public school is Friday! Im feeling relieved the decision is made and now we can really focus on what she needs. This whole forum is so awesome and I am soooo thankful for all of you ladies whom have answered my questions!

[OneStepAtATime]

Good luck, Kaitfish!   :hurray:

[Kaitfish]

Good luck, Kaitfish!   :hurray:

Thank you OneStepAtATime mama! I so appreciate all of your feedback and all you do for this forum, etc. Thanks for taking time for us newbies!! Bless you!

[mamamoose]

I have not read through all the comments, but just want to give you a hug. I went through this in September and October, and the school was really not capable and didn't want to change their attitude, in order to accommodate my dyslexic, dysgraphic, ADHD kiddo. At second grade he tested into Kindergarten reading and 3rd grade math. He is brilliant on so many levels but continued to tell me how stupid he was because he couldn't read as well as his younger sister. Anyway, you can see by my other thread if you want to search it, things are far from okay around here, but today, he read 3 pages out of a book he couldn't even read a sentence in, and I am ecstatic to see how well he is doing. We cut his subjects to almost nothing and I cut them even more after talking it through on my other thread, and right now, I could care less if he learns anything but math and reading. Anyway, only you can make the decision, but I will tell you it was the best decision we could have made for our son.

[Kaitfish]

I have not read through all the comments, but just want to give you a hug. I went through this in September and October, and the school was really not capable and didn't want to change their attitude, in order to accommodate my dyslexic, dysgraphic, ADHD kiddo. At second grade he tested into Kindergarten reading and 3rd grade math. He is brilliant on so many levels but continued to tell me how stupid he was because he couldn't read as well as his younger sister. Anyway, you can see by my other thread if you want to search it, things are far from okay around here, but today, he read 3 pages out of a book he couldn't even read a sentence in, and I am ecstatic to see how well he is doing. We cut his subjects to almost nothing and I cut them even more after talking it through on my other thread, and right now, I could care less if he learns anything but math and reading. Anyway, only you can make the decision, but I will tell you it was the best decision we could have made for our son.

Thank you, Mamamoose! I took her out last Friday. The school was fine, a bit awkward as expected. We decided to bring her to school on Fridays for an hour to participate in Music. Just as everyone has predicted, I'm feeling so relieved that the decision is done and I know that what I am doing is giving her the best chance. We are cruising through Barton and doing a bunch of executive functioning work, art work, and just actually enjoying time together so far. I know it will change as we start to do harder material. Thank you for your support and encouragement! Now comes the questions of, am I doing enough? haha. I can already see that what we will be doing at home will help her fix the holes she has in her reading puzzle. It's amazing how worn out she gets after about a half hour of learning. Im so glad to have the flexibility to give her a rest and make it more fun/ less intimidating. I'm not sure I would have gone on with it without the support from all of the ladies commenting. THANK YOU!!!!!!

[OneStepAtATime]

Thank you, Mamamoose! I took her out last Friday. The school was fine, a bit awkward as expected. We decided to bring her to school on Fridays for an hour to participate in Music. Just as everyone has predicted, I'm feeling so relieved that the decision is done and I know that what I am doing is giving her the best chance. We are cruising through Barton and doing a bunch of executive functioning work, art work, and just actually enjoying time together so far. I know it will change as we start to do harder material. Thank you for your support and encouragement! Now comes the questions of, am I doing enough? haha. I can already see that what we will be doing at home will help her fix the holes she has in her reading puzzle. It's amazing how worn out she gets after about a half hour of learning. Im so glad to have the flexibility to give her a rest and make it more fun/ less intimidating. I'm not sure I would have gone on with it without the support from all of the ladies commenting. THANK YOU!!!!!!

:hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

 

Glad things went o.k. with withdrawal.  Yes, the work may very well wear her out, especially Barton.  She is having to retrain her brain in a way that is not intuitive for her.  It is hard work and it takes significant effort.  So glad you can give her breaks and enjoy your time with her.  :)

[mamamoose]

It depends on the neuropsychologist.  Some will just toss a bunch of numbers at you.  Others will sit down with you and explain those numbers.  Still others will also give you suggestions for where to go from there.  A full, professional eval will tweak out not just weaknesses and struggle areas but also strengths that might be masked by the struggle areas.  Also, if you don't have one already, a full eval would give you more details, including an IQ test, and would break down the details of the struggles.

 

For instance,  a child may have "dyslexia" but the reading struggles may actually be caused by a combination of things, such as phonological processing issues coupled with low working memory.  There are many things that can be co-morbid.  It helps to have a fuller picture.  

 

An example:  Maybe the child is actually gifted but learning challenges are keeping the student from performing well academically.  Failing to support the gifted side of the child's needs could cause the child to withdraw/rebel/suffer from depression.  They stop progressing in their remediation but the parent/tutor attributes the struggles to needing to break the material down even further, move even more slowly.  Instead, what the child needs is their strengths fed, too.  If the giftedness is not known then that side may never be addressed.

 

Another example:  In 1st grade my son seemed to be reading.  He got 100s on his Accelerated Reader comprehension tests.  He also got 100s on his spelling tests in school.  His handwriting was slow but it actually looked quite nice, especially compared to other classmates his age.  When he started struggling in 2nd we had no clue why.  When we finally had him evaluated we found several strengths and weaknesses we didn't know he had.  

 

1.  He wasn't actually reading.  He had phenomenal auditory memory and would have others read him his stories before he "read" them back.  He thought he was reading.  We thought he was reading.  He could repeat, verbatim, 70 or 80 pages (granted, they were books with a lot of pictures) and have full comprehension.  He wasn't actually decoding the words.  He didn't even know it.  Knowing this meant that we were able to tap into that strength for certain types of learning but we also recognized that we had to take a different approach for certain things, like learning to decode words.  His strength was masking his weaknesses and his weaknesses were masking his strength.

 

2.  He was getting 100s on his spelling tests because we were mainly reviewing verbally.  He could remember the sequence of letters long enough to pass the tests with flying colors because of his great auditory memory but he wasn't actually learning how to spell.  There was little long term retention. Again, his strength was masking his weaknesses and his weaknesses were masking his strength.

 

3.  While he could write neatly, his handwriting was way slower than it should have been and he had to concentrate quite a bit on forming the letters.  We didn't realize how much of his working memory resources he was using just to write.  He could not copy work from the board nor could he write on anything but the big, lined tablet paper he had been taught to write on in kinder and 1st.  He could not judge the size and spacing of his letters on any other type of paper.  No one realized he had a weird form of dysgraphia.  Everyone said it couldn't be dysgraphia because his handwriting was legible on the lined paper. 

 

4.  He needs color.  When things are presented in black and white his comprehension plummets. 

 

5.  Although he is extremely articulate, and has spoken very clearly since he was tiny, he has an auditory processing glitch for certain sounds.  This directly affects his ability to decode words and to spell.

 

Getting assessments through the school and a "specialist" really gave us very little information and in fact on a couple of things they were wrong.  Getting an evaluation through someone trained to do more thorough and comprehensive evaluations helped us more.  Did it give us a clearly laid out, fool proof path to follow with lots of detailed guidelines?  Sadly, no.  We still had to keep trying things to find the most successful path for the kids.  It definitely gave us ideas for where to look, though...

 

Anyway, I am probably not explaining things well.  I am sorry.  I am tired and need to finish some other work so I will post this as is and hope it helped a bit to answer your question.  Hopefully others will chime in, too.

 

Best wishes.   :)

I am just having time to read through all this...this sounds exactly like my son. I was concerned in first grade but he seemed to be holding his own. Throughout the summer, he seemed to decline dramatically, and starting back into 2nd grade he was so far behind where he finished 1st grade, and dare I say, it was almost as if he was right back where he had started. The school refused to test him, and I just got his school records and they actually documented NUMEROUS times in his file that he was acing spelling tests. THEY WOULD NOT LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAID HE DIDN'T RETAIN THE INFORMATION FOR THE FOLLOWING WEEK!!!! He could spell "appreciate" correctly on Friday, and on Monday would not even know where to start (usually with a "u" and an "sh" somewhere in there). He also comprehends everything he hears verbally--and I mean everything, but no so when he sees it. His handwriting is next to perfect on lined paper, but he reverses almost all the letters at times, BUT he's not even consistent with his reversals. The teacher, who refused to acknowledge there was perhaps a problem, read all his tests to him, and had number and alphabet strips on his desk so he didn't make so many reversals. Yet, and I repeat, lol, she refused to acknowledge there might be a problem and she didn't tell me any of this. 

 

We pulled him out of school and hired and attorney--the school is a small school (13 kids between 2 teachers and an aide), and there is one other student who had a similar experience to my son and actually has some pretty long lasting psychological things that developed as a result of the way the kids were treated. We are both now homeschooling, but I suspect another student has issues and is being overlooked as well, and her parents don't have the option of homeschooling like we do. Anyway, we had both our children tested through the school and both of the IQ tests were low (there is no way my son has a low IQ--he taught himself multiplication which he does in his head, and he also does complex addition and subtraction in his head, and he actually almost tested into 4th grade math--missed it by one problem--as a 2nd grader!), and neither "qualified" for special education through the school. She got a neuropsych eval for her son and it really opened a lot of doors and identified for them his strengths and weaknesses. I am getting a neuropsych eval this spring for my son and considering neurofeedback.

 

I am so glad you had the guts to go for it, Kaitfish! I can tell you, you will continue to doubt how much you are doing--I think its the inevitable with kids with learning issues. Use audiobooks. I can't even tell you how audiobooks have changed my son's perspective on reading. Literally, he hated even listening to me read--I think it reminded him of how hard it was for him. He constantly said, "I hate books". Books intimidated him. I forced audiobooks on all my kids in the car (we travel 2-4 hours a week because of where we live, for groceries and extra-curricular), and now they can't wait to get in the car an listen to books! 

 

Anyway, good luck in your adventure!

[Antsmom]

I was in this position when my son was in second grade.  His diagnosis was dysgraphia, ADHD, anxiety, auditory processing disorder and borderline ODD.  The ODD was really beginning to become an issue.  He was living under his desk at school.  I pulled him out half way through grade 2 and didn't look back until this year grade 7......he is currently in online public school.  I would say the following:

 

The PS absolutely knows how to deal with dyslexia.....they just can't.  Especially with the attention issues, your child needs one on one education which your school cannot provide.

 

With all due respect, you know what to do and you are already doing it in the evenings.  Just pull the plug!!!  You are a psychologist.  You also have a college degree and YOU ARE THE MOM!!!!  You know already what is best for your child.  This is what one of our public school teachers told me off the record during a phonemail.  I took her advice and now I'm passing it on to you:)

 

The other thing that teacher told me was the damage that was being done to my child by keeping him in his current situation.  She was right and he got so much better emotionally when I pulled that plug.

 

My biggest mistake in homeschooling thus far was putting my son back in public school (online) this year.  Some things are working but some are NOT.......specifically Language Arts and Math......he's doing fine but it's just not how he learns and has quickly become a great source of frustration.  Once again, the PS is pretending to not know what I'm talking about.....lol!!!!

 

Good luck in your decision......and remember how capable you are!!!!!!