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LAST UPDATE #67: I'm pretty sure I'm just not cut out for co-op life...


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I'm tired... and cranky.  My 3 year old can't hang as long as our co-op takes without a nap.  

 

My voice is actually sore today from repeating myself, that everyone was going to get a crystal (don't ask, I didn't plan the class) and that I was going down the table.  I also reminded children over and over that we needed to listen to our teacher and take good care of our supplies.  

 

Then when we got home, we all had a nice big meltdown from introverts (including me!) not getting enough down time.  I'm exhausted and drained.  

 

I have an eye twitch that started right before 4th period.  And we've yet to have a truly nut free campus.  This is the second week in a row that someone has brought nut products despite numerous announcements.  (I have peanut allergic children and we eat lunch and have snacks at this co-op.)  Today I decided that from now on the children MUST sit with me at lunch at the picnic table.  Their friends are allowed to join our table as long as they are not eating nut products.  It's sad that I can't allow my 13 year old to choose her own lunch seat.  It is what it is.  

 

Am I the only one that is just exhausted at the thought of co-op life?  How do you make homeschooling friends?  What activities do you do?  

Edited by GAPeachie
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We do a half day (three hour) co-op. Some of the kids eat lunch together at the end. No allergies here, but we leave and eat lunch at home. I find it so much easier than trying to bring lunch. And the kids are much better about leaving their friends when they know food is waiting for them at home. :)

 

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Make friends at co-ops, particularly CC, where parents are required to be. Made connections and now don't do CC anymore.

 

You might want to suggest that goat work nut product foods have to all sit at another table together, since they're the ones in violation of the rules. But yes, co-ops are tiring.

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Make friends at co-ops, particularly CC, where parents are required to be. Made connections and now don't do CC anymore.

 

You might want to suggest that goat work nut product foods have to all sit at another table together, since they're the ones in violation of the rules. But yes, co-ops are tiring.

 

Only one CC mom still speaks to me.  She invited me to this more "fun" co-op but I'm not sure I can hang.  

 

We'll finish out the semester but looking ahead to fall, I'm not sure I'm interested. 

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I don't do co-op, I knew right from the beginning it is just not. for. me. I don't have patience for other peoples kids. I have even less patience for other parents. Only a small portion of families in many co-ops take it seriously. Just... ugh. Nightmare. 

 

As a homeschooled child myself, let me give a little advice. We don't need homeschooling friends, we just need friends, any friends. My best friend and closest circle of friends growing up all went to high school together, it was fine. Also, there are homeschool groups that don't involve academic classes still around in many areas aren't there? And finally, once they're a little older, there are lots and lots of awesome homeschoolers on the internet. The internet opened up a whole new world for us, I have close friends who I met through online classes, and I actually met my homeschooled husband totally randomly through a story and poetry publishing website, no class, just people posting their writing for others to comment on. There's lots of options if co-op doesn't work.

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Lots of us don't do co-op. 

 

edited because I can't do spelling either apparently. 

 

That really made me giggle though.  I came home and decontaminated (half joke, half not) and got in my pajamas.  It's the last day of the month though, so I'm not sure when my husband will be home.  

 

I keep trying to convince myself that this is a worthwhile effort.  Last week, we started on the full moon.  o.O  I do NOT recommend that!  This week, it was just crazy.  We've had a few absent moms.. so maybe that is what we are feeling that is "off?" 

 

Add in my knee injury/trying to recover and I feel like I'm on edge!  

 

I dunno.  The introvert in me is like "Oh we did this for 7 years ALONE!"  Although I am trying to get out more and meet new people.  

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I don't do co-op, I knew right from the beginning it is just not. for. me. I don't have patience for other peoples kids. I have even less patience for other parents. Only a small portion of families in many co-ops take it seriously. Just... ugh. Nightmare. 

 

As a homeschooled child myself, let me give a little advice. We don't need homeschooling friends, we just need friends, any friends. My best friend and closest circle of friends growing up all went to high school together, it was fine. Also, there are homeschool groups that don't involve academic classes still around in many areas aren't there? And finally, once they're a little older, there are lots and lots of awesome homeschoolers on the internet. The internet opened up a whole new world for us, I have close friends who I met through online classes, and I actually met my homeschooled husband totally randomly through a story and poetry publishing website, no class, just people posting their writing for others to comment on. There's lots of options if co-op doesn't work.

 

Yeah.. two cross country moves in two years have made me super aware that we are missing the "friend" factor.  I'm really trying to up the friend making.  I mean, we have our own little one room school house here but that isn't the same as "friends." 

 

This is a supplemental/fun co-op (nothing super serious like Classical Conversations or such) but it.is.exhausting.to.me. I'm sure that part of it is that I'm not quite sure where I fit yet.  I'm a tried and true introvert, so during the class period that I have NOTHING to do, I'm perfectly fine sitting at the table grading papers ALONE.  *cringe* That isn't the point of co-op though. LOL 

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I don't do co-op. I'd be looking hard at what your goals for co-op are and whether the reality is matching up with the vision. One bad day might be just that. Or you might find that there may be things you can do to get rid of the hassles, but I admit, the nut allergy would really worry me. That's not just a little thing. 

You do need to plan time to decompress during the co-op day and after. I often find that I can get through a people-filled day if I have the rest of my day planned to relax. It's simply a must for me. 100% introvert here.

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No-nut tables are common in schools. It's helpful when people can't read or when the parent who gets the mail is not the one packing the snacks.

 

I'm sorry you're not enjoying coop as much as you had hoped. :(

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Goodness, you had me at "introvert meltdown," before you even had to do things like worry about peanut allergies. Ugh! No, I'm not cut out for co-op life! When my kids were young, we occasionally did activity days, which I always found very over-stimulating. Field trips as well, though they usually afforded a little less chaos and were not quite as taxing as being "on" for "teaching." We did a co-op every other week last year with my high schoolers, and it was fun but really hard still--I'm glad to not be doing one now!

 

As for friends...over the years we developed more friendships through things like park days, support group (I'd connect with moms and then we'd get our two families together for a "Friday Friend Day." For years I've only done half-days on Friday so we could connect with friends. We met people through church, and the kids sometimes made friends in groups (AWANA, youth group, etc...)

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I can babysit a room of kids but not teach them. I enjoy social interaction but group teaching is just not my cup of tea.

 

If your kids enjoy the co-op, could you get your volunteer hours in on a less stressful to you way? For example, one of my kids course need volunteers to keep cost low. I could do snack duty, library duty, classrooom aide, photocopy duty ... so many choices available to suit different personalities.

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I've NEVER done co-op in 15+ years of homeschooling--my large family IS a co-op.  It takes all I have to meet their needs each day and hold down the homefront.  My kids are each other's best friends right now and have also never had any problem making friends in the neighborhood and at church, and my grown children have made the transition to college and professional life with friends and roommates just fine.

 

You have a large family, too, so I just thought I'd offer my experience from that perspective!

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Can you just participate for 1-2 classes/hours that are both either before or after lunch so you can:

- avoid food allergens

- meet people but not overload the introverts

- make co-op a more enjoyable experience that you all actually look forward to

 

Or, are there homeschool group options available locally other than co-op that are more relaxed and more conducive to meeting/making friends -- like a Park Day/PE Day? Field Trips? A smaller group of families who do once a month science or history projects together?

 

I do think co-op is a hard place to actually make friends or have time to get to know peopleĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ Can you use the participant list to email potential friends and invite them to do something more relaxed together a few times a month so you really can have time to get to be friends??

 

Sad you are so frazzled! That would stress me out too! (says the introverted mom with an extremely introverted DS who wigged out when overloaded and another DS who had no food issues but definitely had self-control/impulse issues when youngĂ¢â‚¬Â¦Â  :ohmy: )

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At the top of my list of "Ten Things I Know About Myself" is this:

 

2. I am not co-op material, yet I feel no guilt about this and will not shed even a single tear.

 

:iagree:       I leaned this about myself, too. No more co-ops and no more guilt!!!  :hurray:

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I can babysit a room of kids but not teach them. I enjoy social interaction but group teaching is just not my cup of tea.

 

If your kids enjoy the co-op, could you get your volunteer hours in on a less stressful to you way? For example, one of my kids course need volunteers to keep cost low. I could do snack duty, library duty, classrooom aide, photocopy duty ... so many choices available to suit different personalities.

 

Yes, it is the ENTERTAINING/EDUCATING that exhausts me.  I mean, I do all the teaching in our homeschool, but I can also parent my students. I have a pretty low threshold for nonsense out of my own children.  For instance, if one of my children was not using supplies in an acceptable manner, I would have taken said gluestick out of their hand until they were ready to use it right, if a reminder didn't help them.  

 

I *really* wish something else could be assigned to me. I'm the teacher for one and the co-teacher for another very hands on, involved class.  Heck, I'd clean the WHOLE building at the end of the day if it got me out of teaching responsibilities.  Does that make me seem horrible?  I'd even scrub toilets! (which isn't on our housekeeping list for the church we use.)   

 

I've NEVER done co-op in 15+ years of homeschooling--my large family IS a co-op.  It takes all I have to meet their needs each day and hold down the homefront.  My kids are each other's best friends right now and have also never had any problem making friends in the neighborhood and at church, and my grown children have made the transition to college and professional life with friends and roommates just fine.

 

You have a large family, too, so I just thought I'd offer my experience from that perspective!

 

Thanks for reminding me.  Sometimes, I think I forget that we are indeed a large family.  I have many friends all over the country that have more than I do, in tighter age spans, so I tend to forget that! 

 

Can you just participate for 1-2 classes/hours that are both either before or after lunch so you can:

- avoid food allergens

- meet people but not overload the introverts

- make co-op a more enjoyable experience that you all actually look forward to

 

Or, are there homeschool group options available locally other than co-op that are more relaxed and more conducive to meeting/making friends -- like a Park Day/PE Day? Field Trips? A smaller group of families who do once a month science or history projects together?

 

I do think co-op is a hard place to actually make friends or have time to get to know peopleĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ Can you use the participant list to email potential friends and invite them to do something more relaxed together a few times a month so you really can have time to get to be friends??

 

Sad you are so frazzled! That would stress me out too! (says the introverted mom with an extremely introverted DS who wigged out when overloaded and another DS who had no food issues but definitely had self-control/impulse issues when youngĂ¢â‚¬Â¦Â  :ohmy: )

 

If we were to consider this co-op for fall, we'd only do 2 periods max to avoid the food issue.  Unfortunately, I am ever the optimist and thought that with proper notice peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and peanut butter brownies for the birthday celebration wouldn't happen.  Lesson learned.  

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You guys are making me feel better! I'm pretty sure I'm not co-op material but every 3-4 months I start thinking about how it could be good for my kids. Then a thread like this pops up and reminds me how much I would dislike it.

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Am I the only one that is just exhausted at the thought of co-op life?  How do you make homeschooling friends?  What activities do you do?  

 

I was not the least bit interested in co-ops. We started hsing before they were "invented," and by the time they came along, we were just not interested.

 

We were, eventually, members of a *support group,* which is NOT a co-op. My first support group (which was one of the first in the area) began with a monthly park day, and that was it. The parents talked together while the children played. Eventually, some of us discovered that we were kindred spirits, and we got together once in awhile, although most often, we mothers chatted on the phone. :-) There were eventually field trips, but by then I already had my own schedule for those. We had a county-wide support group, as well, which organized activities on a larger basis (skate day, bowling league, etc.).

 

Later, in another part of the state, I was a member, then a leader, of a support group that did a monthly Moms' Night Out, a monthly park day, and two field trips a month, as well as a few social things.

 

My children made friends at church, or in dance or 4-H. Mostly they did not find their kindred spirits among homeschooled children. Same for me.

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My son just told me he didn't care to do the coop next year. Music to my ears except my husband and I were asked three weeks ago to be on the coop board for next year. We get voted in on Wednesday and my address is already on the check book. :banghead:

 

My son said he liked the one year on one year off that we've done so far. So next year would be a year off coop and they happen to want to make coop EVERY Friday now and not just twice a month. They also want bigger classroom sizes which we would rather have small discussion groups. The young kids are constantly told to be quiet and raise their hand which isn't what they need.

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Do you have to stay the full day?  What about just going for lunch and a few classes?  That's what we do.

I'm tired... and cranky.  My 3 year old can't hang as long as our co-op takes without a nap.  

 

My voice is actually sore today from repeating myself, that everyone was going to get a crystal (don't ask, I didn't plan the class) and that I was going down the table.  I also reminded children over and over that we needed to listen to our teacher and take good care of our supplies.  

 

Then when we got home, we all had a nice big meltdown from introverts (including me!) not getting enough down time.  I'm exhausted and drained.  

 

I have an eye twitch that started right before 4th period.  And we've yet to have a truly nut free campus.  This is the second week in a row that someone has brought nut products despite numerous announcements.  (I have peanut allergic children and we eat lunch and have snacks at this co-op.)  Today I decided that from now on the children MUST sit with me at lunch at the picnic table.  Their friends are allowed to join our table as long as they are not eating nut products.  It's sad that I can't allow my 13 year old to choose her own lunch seat.  It is what it is.  

 

Am I the only one that is just exhausted at the thought of co-op life?  How do you make homeschooling friends?  What activities do you do?  

 

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I couldn't do that type of co-op.  Ours is a pick and choose your classes and moms drop and run.  :)  Moms can teach if they want, moms can form free classes if they prefer, or moms can pay a fee and drop them off and have alone time.  Find one like that, and you will be in good shape.

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I'm small co-op material. 6 families. Lesson goes for no longer than 90 min. Kids play, mums chat. Eat lunch. Go home. 

 

I couldn't handle an entire day. 

 

This - except I like it even smaller. 2 - 3 families is a great size (especially if there are lots of boys, who tend to increase the noise level exponentially). And since I'm already bringing 3 boys into the mix, I know that we're already 8x louder than a lot of families. ;)

Edited by wintermom
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My son just told me he didn't care to do the coop next year. Music to my ears except my husband and I were asked three weeks ago to be on the coop board for next year. We get voted in on Wednesday and my address is already on the check book. :banghead:

 

My son said he liked the one year on one year off that we've done so far. So next year would be a year off coop and they happen to want to make coop EVERY Friday now and not just twice a month. They also want bigger classroom sizes which we would rather have small discussion groups. The young kids are constantly told to be quiet and raise their hand which isn't what they need.

 

QUICK! Time to RIGHT NOW let them know that your life and family circumstances have changed and that you regretfully have to withdraw from the board. Sooner is better, and easier all around, both for you, but also for them to switch to a new co-op board member to replace you! BEST of luck! Warmly, Lroi D.

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QUICK! Time to RIGHT NOW let them know that your life and family circumstances have changed and that you regretfully have to withdraw from the board. Sooner is better, and easier all around, both for you, but also for them to switch to a new co-op board member to replace you! BEST of luck! Warmly, Lroi D.

 

Absolutely. 

 

Donate money to get new checks printed if it makes you feel better, lol. 

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This is our first year in a co-op (2 hours long) and when we come home, my kids watch a movie while drink caffiene and recover.

 

Its very exhausting, but we will continue because 1) my oldest kid says he wants to quit so he doesn't have to speak in front of others (i was the same, wish someone would have made me speak in front of others), 2) science and art are soooooo much easier in a co-op setting :) and its once a week and i don't have to buy, keep, and organized a ton of materials.

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I can so relate to this feeling!

 

My kids LOVE our once-a-week half-day co-op, so I do it for them. They love seeing their friends. But goodness, I freaking HATE all the time it takes to plan and prepare my lessons (though I actually love the material I'm teaching). I have such a love/hate relationship with co-op. Love the people, but I feel like it is a huge time-suck that I could be devoting to our own homeschool. I see myself doing it for a few more years while the kids are still in elementary, but not sure I can hang much beyond that.

 

You gotta do what's best for you! Good luck!

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I don't co-op. It would drive me batty. I'm introverted and MY kids are the challenging ones, so I wouldn't be making friends there. :-)

 

My kids attend a one day a week enrichment charter (it's a thing here...), but it's run by paid teachers, so parents don't attend at all. Otherwise, we do lots of activities, educational and otherwise, with a very small group of friends, but we understand each other and our kids' limitations.

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I think it makes a huge difference whether a co-op requires lunch or not.  We did a more traditional co-op for a few years, but burnt out from all of the driving and melt-downs and lunch-packing -- mostly the lunch-packing.  Now, we have a 3-family co-op that meets in the afternoon, with two "class" periods, snack (everyone gets the same snack -- provided by whichever mom is hosting), presentations, and a generous playtime.  I love that we can do some school in the morning, because it certainly does not happen when we get home from co-op!

 

So I would not write off co-ops, but might look for a better situation.  That said, I don't think we really need our co-op for interaction.  We have made so many friends at the local nature center (which offers camps and classes), conservation societies (from attending group hikes), and art/cultural institutions which offer homeschool classes and workshops.  It has just taken some time to cultivate the right connections. 

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I think I'm throwing in the towel and calling this fight.  

 

Today was day 3.  I still have not had a helper in my class (policy is that every class should have 2 teachers in it.)  I DID manage to get the children to paint with colors instead of mixing everything together and having blood colored paint.  Y'all, it looked like a crime scene day 1 and 2!  

I gave up on fingerpainting and found foam brushes for the kids wayyyyy in the back of the supply closet.  Today I mixed paint in separate bowls, and carried the color over to the child that wanted it.  

 

We did three paintings today.  One was their name (or the letters of their name since we didn't all have proper spacing.  Oh and my own son misspelled his name but he is 3.)  Then we did shapes and then a free paint piece.  I managed to fill my entire hour.  

And then at lunch we had the THIRD nut exposure.  THREE weeks of nut exposure!  My husband is at his wit's end.  I'm frustrated beyond measure.  

 

And THEN our son was excused from preschool (3-5 year old) singing class by a sub (and board member.)  From what I overheard and he told me, he wasn't sitting "yike a statue in a circle" and he touched a chair.  The sub reported 2/3 of the class to their parents... leaving only her child as the remaining student.  

 

My husband has now hit the roof.  And so it goes.  I think we are going to be co-op drop outs.  :( 
 

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I think I'm throwing in the towel and calling this fight.

 

Today was day 3. I still have not had a helper in my class (policy is that every class should have 2 teachers in it.) I DID manage to get the children to paint with colors instead of mixing everything together and having blood colored paint. Y'all, it looked like a crime scene day 1 and 2!

 

I gave up on fingerpainting and found foam brushes for the kids wayyyyy in the back of the supply closet. Today I mixed paint in separate bowls, and carried the color over to the child that wanted it.

 

We did three paintings today. One was their name (or the letters of their name since we didn't all have proper spacing. Oh and my own son misspelled his name but he is 3.) Then we did shapes and then a free paint piece. I managed to fill my entire hour.

 

And then at lunch we had the THIRD nut exposure. THREE weeks of nut exposure! My husband is at his wit's end. I'm frustrated beyond measure.

 

And THEN our son was excused from preschool (3-5 year old) singing class by a sub (and board member.) From what I overheard and he told me, he wasn't sitting "yike a statue in a circle" and he touched a chair. The sub reported 2/3 of the class to their parents... leaving only her child as the remaining student.

 

My husband has now hit the roof. And so it goes. I think we are going to be co-op drop outs. :(

 

Don't feel bad. The co-op isn't living up to their end of the bargain. Be polite but do explain why you are leaving.
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The nut exposure alone would have driven me to quit after the second time. There are just things that can't go on without something serious happening, and that's one of those things.

Now go reclaim that time and enjoy every minute of it!

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The nut exposure alone would have driven me to quit after the second time. There are just things that can't go on without something serious happening, and that's one of those things.

Now go reclaim that time and enjoy every minute of it!

 

Day 2, one of the board members went CRAZY about it.  So I thought the point was made.

 

EVERYONE was asked today if they brought nuts. 

 

Mrs. I couldn't do PB and J so we brought a salad, apparently didn't think Raspberry walNUT dressing qualified... 

 

oh and her salad was sitting on the "Nut FREE campus" sign.  

 

I couldn't make this up if I tried..... 

Edited by GAPeachie
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I think I'm throwing in the towel and calling this fight.  

 

Today was day 3.  I still have not had a helper in my class (policy is that every class should have 2 teachers in it.)  I DID manage to get the children to paint with colors instead of mixing everything together and having blood colored paint.  Y'all, it looked like a crime scene day 1 and 2!  

 

I gave up on fingerpainting and found foam brushes for the kids wayyyyy in the back of the supply closet.  Today I mixed paint in separate bowls, and carried the color over to the child that wanted it.  

 

We did three paintings today.  One was their name (or the letters of their name since we didn't all have proper spacing.  Oh and my own son misspelled his name but he is 3.)  Then we did shapes and then a free paint piece.  I managed to fill my entire hour.  

 

And then at lunch we had the THIRD nut exposure.  THREE weeks of nut exposure!  My husband is at his wit's end.  I'm frustrated beyond measure.  

 

And THEN our son was excused from preschool (3-5 year old) singing class by a sub (and board member.)  From what I overheard and he told me, he wasn't sitting "yike a statue in a circle" and he touched a chair.  The sub reported 2/3 of the class to their parents... leaving only her child as the remaining student.  

 

My husband has now hit the roof.  And so it goes.  I think we are going to be co-op drop outs.   :( 

 

 

Seriously, only her child remained? I'm thinking the board member needs a few more tools for handling young ones...

 

Day 2, one of the board members went CRAZY about it.  So I thought the point was made.

 

EVERYONE was asked today if they brought nuts. 

 

Mrs. I couldn't do PB and J so we brought a salad, apparently didn't think Raspberry walNUT dressing qualified... 

 

oh and her salad was sitting on the "Nut FREE campus" sign.  

 

I couldn't make this up if I tried..... 

 

 

Wow. I'd detail all of this in a nice but direct "thanks for the opportunity but it's just not going to work for us. Here's why..." and bow out now w/o burning bridges if possible. Maybe one of these families could be friends or could join you in other homeschool pursuits at some point. 

 

Sorry. I know that's disappointing.

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I agree with everyone. It's time to leave. They will not change things, but you can by removing your self from the situation.  Heath and safety come first, and I include mental health for you right up there with the physical health and allergies.  

 

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Seriously, only her child remained? I'm thinking the board member needs a few more tools for handling young ones...

 

She allowed the other child to remain in class... but kept saying things to her daughter like, "Since _____ isn't participating, you get to pick the next thing for the bus to do!" (They were singing the Wheels on the Bus at that point.)  Some of the songs that they were singing, *I* don't even know.  I'm pretty sure that the reason _____ wasn't participating is because she didn't know the words.  I keep _____ fairly regularly and she is in my finger painting class.  She isn't a troublemaker... at most she needs a little prodding along to encourage her to participate. 

 

The sub (and boardmember) kept doing things like that until she declared class over and went outside.  The other child wouldn't go with her (she had completely shut down) so she took her to her mother's class and tattled.  I sent her mother (my FL bestie) a text to not be too harsh with her daughter until we chatted.  I didn't think it was near as big of a deal as the sub made it out to be.  When my friend spoke to her daughter, my suspicion was right.  She didn't know the words to the song and was called out for not participating, which hurt her 5 year old feelings, and so she quit trying.  

 

And there were TWO adults in this classroom.... for THREE children.  As my husband said, "If all the kids (except your own) are "in trouble" maybe it is YOUR issue and not the kids."  

 

Not to mention, I had the SAME EXACT children in fingerpainting ALONE and have had ZERO issues with them for THREE classes.  (Other than the crimescene paint. LOL) 

 

The normal teacher is VERY active during their singing.  She doesn't make them sit "yike statues."  

Edited by GAPeachie
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Day 2, one of the board members went CRAZY about it.  So I thought the point was made.

 

EVERYONE was asked today if they brought nuts. 

 

Mrs. I couldn't do PB and J so we brought a salad, apparently didn't think Raspberry walNUT dressing qualified... 

 

oh and her salad was sitting on the "Nut FREE campus" sign.  

 

I couldn't make this up if I tried..... 

 

This is a special kind of stupid.

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Wow. I'd detail all of this in a nice but direct "thanks for the opportunity but it's just not going to work for us. Here's why..." and bow out now w/o burning bridges if possible. Maybe one of these families could be friends or could join you in other homeschool pursuits at some point. 

 

Sorry. I know that's disappointing.

 

I need help.  I'm obviously quite perturbed at this co-op and need my words to be civil but share the seriousness of the situation.  This is what I have so far.  

 

Dear Board (I'll put their names here), 

 

Thank you for the opportunity to try _________ Co-Op for the spring semester.  Unfortunately, this co-op is not a good fit for our family.  The lack of attention to keeping our campus nut free cannot be ignored.  Each week we've had at least one incident with nuts/peanuts brought to campus.  As a mother, I cannot continue to put my three children with nut allergies at risk by continuing to attend.  There is nothing like sitting in the back of an ambulance with your three year old as the paramedic calls in your child's information and "near fatal anaphylactic shock" like we experienced this past October.  I do appreciate the efforts with signs, multiple emails, multiple Facebook Group announcements and asking each parent on campus.  Unfortunately, this hasn't reduced the amount of nuts on campus.  

 

In addition, I feel the set out expectations as a member of the co-op aren't being followed.  Per ______ co-op guidelines, there should be two parents in every classroom for liability issues.  I've held three Fingerpainting classes without a co-teacher. In addition, as a first year member, per the guidelines, I am not obligated to serve at all.  I've faithfully taught Fingerpainting, served as a co-teacher for Elementary Science and complete the kitchen tasks each week, and sat in on other classes to ensure that the 2 adult member was met on several instances.  

 

Also, this past week really opened my eyes to the fact that ______ co-op is not developmentally appropriate for I-----, my three year old.  It is developmentally inappropriate to change what was a moving, active singing class to suddenly expecting the children to sit in a circle without movement.  I realize that a substitute was in Sing with Me this week, but I have *never* had my three year old dismissed from a preschool class for being a preschooler. In fact, he has never been dismissed from any activity either for non participation or for acting out.  

 

 

********************

 

Now what do I say? 

Edited by GAPeachie
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I'd probably leave it off at "not a good fit for our family" and go on. That seems to cover everything in one concise sentence. 

 

ETA: I can't think of a polite way to say too many nuts of various varieties, both vegetable and animal! :laugh:

Edited by Critterfixer
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"Thank you for your time and understanding. Sincerely, me." 

 

Out! 

 

I'd consider only addressing the first two issues.  The third issue about the frustrated preschool class is one that they probably already know about and will have to resolve.  The first two are specific issues where their own policies are not being executed. 

 

I think your 3yo sounds adorable, btw.  "Yike statues", indeed! 

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"Thank you for your time and understanding. Sincerely, me." 

 

Out! 

 

I'd consider only addressing the first two issues.  The third issue about the frustrated preschool class is one that they probably already know about and will have to resolve.  The first two are specific issues where their own policies are not being executed. 

 

I think your 3yo sounds adorable, btw.  "Yike statues", indeed! 

 

 

Okay.. will do.  :)  And yes, he is a ham and will tell you exactly what he thinks of things.  I said, "Were you disobeying?"  He said, "Not sit yike a statue!"  He was bawling and I finally got him to stop crying.  

 

I did giggle though when the sub said, "Do you need to go see your mommy!?"  And he said, "Yes, ma'am!"  LOL  

 

My husband was like, "Good for him!  He knew the class wasn't like it was supposed to be and took the polite road out!"  

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I need help.  I'm obviously quite perturbed at this co-op and need my words to be civil but share the seriousness of the situation.  This is what I have so far.  

 

Dear Board (I'll put their names here), 

 

Thank you for the opportunity to try _________ Co-Op for the spring semester.  Unfortunately, this co-op is not a good fit for our family.  The lack of attention to keeping our campus nut free cannot be ignored.  Each week we've had at least one incident with nuts/peanuts brought to campus.  As a mother, I cannot continue to put my three children with nut allergies at risk by continuing to attend.  There is nothing like sitting in the back of an ambulance with your three year old as the paramedic calls in your child's information and "near fatal anaphylactic shock" like we experienced this past October.  I do appreciate the efforts with signs, multiple emails, multiple Facebook Group announcements and asking each parent on campus.  Unfortunately, this hasn't reduced the amount of nuts on campus.  

 

In addition, I feel the set out expectations as a member of the co-op aren't being followed.  Per ______ co-op guidelines, there should be two parents in every classroom for liability issues.  I've held three Fingerpainting classes without a co-teacher. In addition, as a first year member, per the guidelines, I am not obligated to serve at all.  I've faithfully taught Fingerpainting, served as a co-teacher for Elementary Science and complete the kitchen tasks each week, and sat in on other classes to ensure that the 2 adult member was met on several instances.  

 

Also, this past week really opened my eyes to the fact that ______ co-op is not developmentally appropriate for I-----, my three year old.  It is developmentally inappropriate to change what was a moving, active singing class to suddenly expecting the children to sit in a circle without movement.  I realize that a substitute was in Sing with Me this week, but I have *never* had my three year old dismissed from a preschool class for being a preschooler. In fact, he has never been dismissed from any activity either for non participation or for acting out.  

 

 

********************

 

Now what do I say? 

 

I'm usually a fan of less is more, but I'd send the whole thing, although ITA with leaving out "not a good fit for our family." I'd say something like, "Unfortunately, we were terribly disappointed," or "...

 

Actually, I wouldn't even start out with "thank you." You don't need to try to make them feel better. You don't have to be warm and fuzzy in order to be polite. "As you know, we joined the co-op last spring. We will not be returning."

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My son said he liked the one year on one year off that we've done so far. So next year would be a year off coop and they happen to want to make coop EVERY Friday now and not just twice a month. They also want bigger classroom sizes which we would rather have small discussion groups. The young kids are constantly told to be quiet and raise their hand which isn't what they need.

Umm ... this sounds an awful lot like school.  Yuk.  That is what I was trying to avoid. 

 

I think I'm throwing in the towel and calling this fight.  

 

Today was day 3.  I still have not had a helper in my class (policy is that every class should have 2 teachers in it.)  I DID manage to get the children to paint with colors instead of mixing everything together and having blood colored paint.  Y'all, it looked like a crime scene day 1 and 2!  

 

I gave up on fingerpainting and found foam brushes for the kids wayyyyy in the back of the supply closet.  Today I mixed paint in separate bowls, and carried the color over to the child that wanted it.  

 

We did three paintings today.  One was their name (or the letters of their name since we didn't all have proper spacing.  Oh and my own son misspelled his name but he is 3.)  Then we did shapes and then a free paint piece.  I managed to fill my entire hour.  

 

And then at lunch we had the THIRD nut exposure.  THREE weeks of nut exposure!  My husband is at his wit's end.  I'm frustrated beyond measure.  

 

And THEN our son was excused from preschool (3-5 year old) singing class by a sub (and board member.)  From what I overheard and he told me, he wasn't sitting "yike a statue in a circle" and he touched a chair.  The sub reported 2/3 of the class to their parents... leaving only her child as the remaining student.  

 

My husband has now hit the roof.  And so it goes.  I think we are going to be co-op drop outs.   :( 

 

Yikes.  What a disaster.  Good for you for putting your family first.  After homeschooling for several years doing our own thing and getting together with other families on occasion, we joined a co-op (that hired teachers but it was called a co-op all the same.)  It became all the rage so we gave it a try for just a couple of classes.  What a colossal waste of time and $$.  It had all the artificial, suffocating structure of school but not the academic benefits.  We went back to our "pick a few families to study a certain subject" kind of homemade co-op instead. 

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One board member has reached out and said that she completely understands.  She was infuriated yesterday.  

 

I sent it without the third paragraph.  I wanted a paper trail left so that the board has the opportunity to use the feedback going forward.  

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