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My DD is in kindergarten at a public B&M. This school is suppose to be one of the best elementary school's in the state with an above average group of kids. This is the reason we put DD there. At the beginning of the year DD was doing well above average and at the top 10% of her grade level. We were not happy with where they placed her for reading level, well below where she performs at home. At midyear she had made little progress and even some regression. DD is reluctant to work with me at home as she is exhausted after a full day of school. Recently she has begun to work with me again. she has begun to state that she is bad at reading and math. Her teacher has mentioned behavior issues multiple times and that she isn't producing quality work. She has also come home telling me she can't read chapter books, although she is capable, because the librarian does not allow kinders and 1st graders to check out chapter books. I am super fustrated, especially since I changed jobs to work at that school to get my kids in. I'm not sure what to do our how to help my DD build up her confidence again and make progress in the last 75 days of school.

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I've talked with the teacher and she says DD won't sit still and doesn't pay attention in class. She also has problems with doing what she needs to in the restroom. She is not turning in "quality" work and often gets distracted and doesn't do her work. She is not enjoying going to school and at this point I have no other option.

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Could you take her to the public library and just set her free in there once a week or more?

 

I would try not to be too invested in the details of what happens in KG.  I think kids pick up on parents' expectations and may become afraid that their performance will displease.

 

Have you had her hearing and vision checked to ensure she has the physical ability to follow along with the teacher?

 

To help her attitude improve, maybe consider asking her questions after school like:  what was your favorite thing about school today?  What did you do at recess?  Who did you sit by in lunch?  How was [Ms. Teacher] today, was she happy?  What was your classroom job today?  And just say something good about whatever she reports.

 

Sitting still is a physical skill that depends on core body strength.  The best thing to do for that is to make sure she's getting lots of physical exercise.  Running, swinging herself on the swings, etc.

 

It's not uncommon for parents to hear that their kids don't sit still etc.  I would not worry about that unless she's disruptive to the class on a regular basis.  Luckily you don't need to worry about her not picking up the academic skills she will need for 1st grade.

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DD is on the young side of kinder, she'll turn 6 in April. She was also two days shy of being a preemie. I agree that the expectations of kinder are too much. Her teacher came to me and told me one day that she was thinking about moving her down a math group because she wasn't understand early multiplication word problems. I was astounded!!! There problem was Bob bought 4 groups of 17 pogs. How many pogs did he buy? When asked later DD explained that she didn't want to write out all those tally marks to figure out the problem.

 

I have backed off on asking her to do anything. The first semester I was so overwhelmed by my new job that I needed jut to focus on that. At home right now I'm letting DD slack on reading to me, but she will pick up books and read them to herself. Her homework is a joke because it is too easy for her.

 

I like the library suggestion. I think I'll make sure that we do that on a weekly basis and encourage her to pick out books she would like to read.

 

I have also had DD play games on the computer that are learning games an she is more willing to do that then not play on the computer at all.

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If she has a lot of older kids in her KG, then it is natural that some of them are ahead of her and in a higher math group etc.  Especially considering how old some kids are when they start KG.  So, so what if she isn't in the highest math group?  If there are kids who can do 4x17, then let them do it and let your daughter do something less advanced.

 

If they were asking all the KG kids to do 4x17, that would be a different story.

Edited by SKL
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When my kids were in public school, the school had a rule about which books the kids could borrow, based on their grade level.  DD read far above her grade level and she complained, so *I* was able to borrow the books she wanted, in my name.  Not sure if your public school allows that, but ours allowed parents to borrow any book we wanted.  Alternatively, I'd make a weekly pilgrimage to the local library with her, and then let her carry her own books for free read time at school.

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I think that the home they give DD is over the top. I'm okay with just reading to her at night and calling it a night. I think the school puts too much pressure on her. The district we are in is very high stakes and not play based at all. I try and get her to play as much as possible and do whatever is necessary to let her be a kid. I really think a lot o the work is too easy for DD and if she were given work at her level she wouldn't have behavior issues at school. This is a kid who was crying every night at two because she couldn't read and has picked up a lot of reading on her own. I'm Not being pushy I just want her to realize her potential.

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What is the homework like?

 

My kids used to have one worksheet per night Monday through Thursday, plus they were supposed to learn 10 sight words per week (tested on Friday).  I don't recall reading being a requirement after school, but we did read daily.

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Homework is three activities of a list of nine a week. Students get more rewards for doing all of the activities. DD of course wants more rewards. Activities include spellin out sight words, answering word problems, discussing social studies or science topics, reading a book and filling out a graphic organizer for the book. There is also 20 minutes reading required each night. There is differentiation on the assignments with slight differences like the numbers involved.

 

The school also encourages science fair, history fair, and writing contests for kindergarteners.

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Homework is three activities of a list of nine a week. Students get more rewards for doing all of the activities. DD of course wants more rewards. Activities include spellin out sight words, answering word problems, discussing social studies or science topics, reading a book and filling out a graphic organizer for the book. There is also 20 minutes reading required each night. There is differentiation on the assignments with slight differences like the numbers involved.

 

The school also encourages science fair, history fair, and writing contests for kindergarteners.

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Sounds like the requirements are manageable, and the stretch goals are stretch goals.

 

I think as parents we need to be OK with "good enough," especially when the kids are little.  I struggled with this myself.  I didn't want my kids to be average or less.  But it's better than stressing over things that really don't matter at that age.

 

If your daughter wants to do more, I would say let her try on her own, after she has completed the minimum requirement.  If she completes it more or less correctly, let her hand it in, otherwise put it aside for summer work or something.  Or pick one challenging paper to do together on the weekend, without pressure.  If you want to talk her out of it, give her a choice between the worksheet or a favorite video.  :P

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I agree with all that has been said. I think it's sad that kinder has become so academic and jot play based. It's sad forh e kids to have to have such pressure at such a young age.

 

My main concern is that DD has shown no academic growth at school over the course of the year according to the school. They are treating her as a reader who is at the beginning of first grade when she reads the end of 2nd begin get of 3rd. My fear is that she is being "tracked" on a "track" that is not appropriate for her and that he is being label as a bad kid for being a normal 5 year old.

 

My husband and I are going to present the evidence we have to counteract what the teacher has. I just don't think she's being taught where she is at where others in her class who are "good" students are.

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A kid's reading comprehension level may be very different from her ability to decode.  Maybe their tests are focusing on some skills that aren't your daughter's strong points.

 

Of course the tests could just be wrong.  My kids' reading test scores have fluctuated wildly over the years.  Sometimes my advanced kid got bored with the test and rushed through it so she could get back to reading her books.  :P

 

If you are pretty sure your daughter is way above what the classroom tests say, maybe you can ask for individual testing.

 

Even so, I wouldn't worry too much unless it makes a big difference in how she will be placed in 1st grade.

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I think DD is just burnt out by the end of the day. It wasn't until after Christmas she stopped falling asleep on the way home everyday. I think she is feeling that since the teacher doesn't think she can perform, but performs on a much higher level at home, she can't reach those high performers in class so she doesn't do her best. She is also having minor behavior issues. We are having her seen by a psychologist in a few weeks to see what is going on there, possibility of ADHD or mild autism.

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I guess I am confused by your posts.  Your title says "disappointed with progress" and you seem on one hand to want her to do more, to try harder.  On the other hand you seem to feel the school's expectations are too high.

 

I don't think it is unusual or problematic that a 5yo is sleepy at the end of full-day KG, especially if they do not have a nap in KG.  It's a long day physically and mentally.  I can't really tell if it's long in a good way or a bad way (or a neutral way).

 

I would not worry about any of the things you have mentioned.  Perfect is in Heaven.  Your daughter is not going to be perfectly behaved, and she's not going to give maximum effort and focus all the time, nor is any other kid.  We can't control what our kids do at school, hence they are going to be different at school vs. at home (for better or worse). 

 

You keep comparing her to the kids in the higher group.  Maybe those kids are much older and/or more ready for the work than your daughter.  Your daughter needs to be held to her own personal standard.  She's reading well at home; keep encouraging that, don't snuff out her enthusiasm by fussing about what isn't happening at school.  Keep doing number-related activities at home at the level she can grasp.  If she's too tired on weekdays, work it into your fun stuff on the weekends.

Edited by SKL
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That's basically the approach I have been taking. I have seen growth at home, but at school everything has flatlined. I was hopin for her to have a better experience in kinder. She is technically in the high group, but I know that many higher kids get bored in school and don't progress much. I am very confused about what is going on and hopefully this will all be clarified at parent teacher conferences next week and psychological testing the week after.

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Some teachers test until the child hits a limit or they run out of tests. Both my boys like to fly under the radar for classwork but take tests seriously. The gap between test results and classwork is seriously huge. DS11's first grade teacher stop testing once he completes end of grade level testing but his K, 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade public school teachers test him until they run out of tests or he hits a limit.

 

I don't know how your child's teacher does ability grouping and also how experience the teacher is with outliers. My kids had 4 out of 5 teachers that are good at ability differentiation and that helps a lot. Still my boys progress over summer was more than over the school term.

 

Go with a plan that you think is feasible and ask to see your kids portfolio. My kids teachers showed me their thick testing portfolio and let me read through. Parents of their former schoolmates with different teachers were given only a summary report.

 

My kids kindergarten teacher override their school library cards borrowing restrictions to allow them to borrow anything in the K-8 school library.

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I think I am going to experiment before the next round of testing in May. I'm Going to work more on enrichment at home and encouraging DD to perform at the level I think she is at. I'm also going to work on her work ethic and slowing down so she understands what she is doing. I'm going to see how her test scores fall and see if the at home enrichment and training helps to improve her scores. I'm not trying to be tiger mom, I just want my kids to have every opportunity to succeed and reach their potential.

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I'm assuming the school is on a trimester system. For my local public school, they expect parents to advocate from K-2, then the kids do more of their advocating for 3-5. By 6th grade, they expect parents to let their kids do the talking.

 

There is still a trimester left to the school year and advocating for your child who is a kindergartner is not being a tiger mom.

 

While my oldest 1st grade teacher is not as experienced in ability differentiation, she did ask for info on how to best accomodate our kid from the parents. She also ask for tips for accomodating my kid from my kid's kindergarten teacher.

 

Unless the teacher is the kind who tune out parents comments/feedback, it would be useful to work together to help your child. I find open lines of communication very helpful when my kids were in PS and even now when they are in outsource classes. The more asynchronous your child is, the more the communications line needs to stay open.

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  • 2 weeks later...

After having DDs parent teacher conference on Tuesday, I am feeling better about the way things are going. Her teacher said she may not be use to testing yet and there were times where she was distracted. I also see where her fluency is struggling and where she needs to shore up some basic skills. I guess I'll work on those and hope to see more progress in the spring.

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