Would you change anything?

[Janeway]

Second child did fine in public school. But, I was disgusted by how little they were actually learning. When I brought him home, end of 4th grade, based on home school standards (or any standards really) he was years behind. By behind, I am referring to skills. They used iPads and spoke to Siri for their "presentations." They relied heavily on "collaborative learning" which meant, one child did the work, the entire group took credit. In math, they used calculators for everything. He did not even know to start a sentence with a capital and end with punctuation. And his handwriting was illegible. Since he has been home, he has come a long way. His handwriting is passable. He has done two years worth of math. He has great mechanics in his writing. I am often surprised by how much he knows on a variety of topics. 

 

Because he was so far behind when he came out of school and I was frustrated, a few months ago, I had some testing done. Turns out, he has a top 1% IQ. It was over 140. I had a high IQ (my children have sucked IQ points out of me! LOL). But I was always eager to please. But, I also had a lot of my own interests and remember being frustrated at his age that I could not pursue anything because I was confined by being in public school, in a small farm town, where no one ever did anything, except feed the baby sheep and play in the barns. Now, we live in the city, so he has access to lots and lots of things.

 

I think I am going to back off on his academics and just focus on the basic skills he needs. I have, shockingly, found that he is actually very good at math and was simply held back by the lack of education in public school. He spent his first year home, dragging his feet through one year of math. By first year home, I mean all the way until September or so of the second year. This is his second year home. When I started asking him questions from the second year of home school before we started the next book, I verbally quizzed him on some concepts. I asked him how he would find the area of a triangle and he said height times width and divide in half. I said "great, you so already covered that in public school I guess." And he said "no, I just think it is that because it makes sense." Now he did level 5A Singapore Math in one month. He is really taking off.

 

Now, am I wrong to suspect that maybe he is really smart (his IQ test claims that part) and the traditional way of learning just does not work for him? My older one is very intelligent too, but needs/wants structure and traditional.

 

I know my sons are not off the charts like many of the children you all post about on this board. Then again, both started in the public school which may have stunted their growth. Doesn't matter. What I want to know is..would it be a mistake, or just laziness or lacking discipline, if I let the younger one just do his math and then do "child led" schooling in the rest for now? I feel like I fight fight fight with him all the time over school work. And he gets further and further behind with this. I feel like a lot of grammar, spelling, vocabulary, writing, can be picked up just through reading books. And he is truly interested in educational TV shows and movies so he is getting a lot there. And we have outsourced a fun middle school type foreign language class which he likes. 

 

What do you think?

[kbutton]

Does he enjoy formal schooling if you find something that interests him, and you are actually discussing it with him and having conversations? If so, I would not jump to entirely unschooling until  you've tried something where he gets to discuss things. Not that unschoolers can't discuss things, but some kids do like having a starting or end point or even curriculum. 

 

I don't think that curriculum and child-led are always exclusive. We are not unschoolers (more power to their tribe, it's just not us). I would find out what he's interested in learning and facilitate it. I would also figure out what i was interested in seeing him learn, find out where he is, and then facilitate that too. You can do that through unschooling or other methods, but I think you both might enjoy discussing how to move forward. My son likes a lot of independence and control, but he can't handle a blank slate (2e). He does like to have input into what I choose and how we use it. 

 

I like this blog if you are looking for several possible ways to approach things with your son. http://eclectic-homeschool.com/ The author blends and picks and chooses homeschooling methods depending on the child and the subject. 

 

 

[Janeway]

Does he enjoy formal schooling if you find something that interests him, and you are actually discussing it with him and having conversations? If so, I would not jump to entirely unschooling until  you've tried something where he gets to discuss things. Not that unschoolers can't discuss things, but some kids do like having a starting or end point or even curriculum. 

 

I don't think that curriculum and child-led are always exclusive. We are not unschoolers (more power to their tribe, it's just not us). I would find out what he's interested in learning and facilitate it. I would also figure out what i was interested in seeing him learn, find out where he is, and then facilitate that too. You can do that through unschooling or other methods, but I think you both might enjoy discussing how to move forward. My son likes a lot of independence and control, but he can't handle a blank slate (2e). He does like to have input into what I choose and how we use it. 

 

I like this blog if you are looking for several possible ways to approach things with your son. http://eclectic-homeschool.com/ The author blends and picks and chooses homeschooling methods depending on the child and the subject. 

I would never do unschooling. What I meant was more like, letting him read and have him write letters to relatives and such. This is just for now. He is taking an outsourced language class. Maybe add in an outsourced science class, which we have done before. I want to work my way back in to something more traditional. I just am finding very little luck with getting him to do anything, and the further "behind" he gets, the worse it gets. 

 

I am thinking in the fall, try to do writing, but forget grammar. Do spelling workout G, which is more of a vocal program. I also have some vocabulary book I picked up at a convention where you have a word and then draw a picture to go with it. Then, we would continue with the math. And I would continue to try to find TV shows and such that are applicable to science and history and geography topics instead of having a formal curriculum. So it would really be a complete moosh mash.

[Jackie]

Are you familiar with the concept of deschooling? It is possible that both you and he need some deschooling for a while. Some time to recover from his negative school experience, get that model out of your heads, and then approach everything with a fresh point of view later. Is that what you're talking about?

 

I say go for it. Bright/gifted kids often move fast when they put their minds to it, but you're not going to get much of anywhere if he doesn't have any desire to learn. As you both "recover" from his schooling, take a look at his interests and play off those. Find resources, whether they be traditional or out of the box, that appeal to you as the teacher and him as the student. Have fun with it.

[Janeway]

Are you familiar with the concept of deschooling? It is possible that both you and he need some deschooling for a while. Some time to recover from his negative school experience, get that model out of your heads, and then approach everything with a fresh point of view later. Is that what you're talking about?

 

I say go for it. Bright/gifted kids often move fast when they put their minds to it, but you're not going to get much of anywhere if he doesn't have any desire to learn. As you both "recover" from his schooling, take a look at his interests and play off those. Find resources, whether they be traditional or out of the box, that appeal to you as the teacher and him as the student. Have fun with it.

I don't need to deschool. I had already been homeschooling his older sibling. But, younger sibling, I just know we need changes. He already deschooled basically because he spent months refusing to do anything. I finally threw in the towel and gave several weeks off. Then, we returned to schooling and still got no where. I suggested project based learning.

 

Letting him do so little for the remainder of the year is sort of like deschooling again. But, in the fall, I am thinking a restructure. So, he can revamp his thinking and develop a different attitude, hopefully. So, if I leave social studies and science to just whatever he enjoys, skip reading too and any sort of formal writing....so really, very little is structured, then after some time of that, maybe things will improve.

[Jackie]

I agree that what you are talking about is deschooling. A continuing argument over things (his refusal) isn't deschooling. I've often seen the recommendation for one month deschooling per year of negative school experience.

 

Just a thought, but have you done placement tests for whatever you are using? My daughter is younger, but will plain refuse to do anything that she believes she already knows. She sees no need for review or practice (and honestly, rarely needs it). Short version, no, I don't think it would be a mistake to just do math and let the rest be until next school year. I don't even think it would be a mistake to drop the math for a few months if it would otherwise be a fight. Include him in searching for and choosing curriculum that he might enjoy.

[kbutton]

I agree that what you are talking about is deschooling. A continuing argument over things (his refusal) isn't deschooling. I've often seen the recommendation for one month deschooling per year of negative school experience.

 

Just a thought, but have you done placement tests for whatever you are using? My daughter is younger, but will plain refuse to do anything that she believes she already knows. She sees no need for review or practice (and honestly, rarely needs it). Short version, no, I don't think it would be a mistake to just do math and let the rest be until next school year. I don't even think it would be a mistake to drop the math for a few months if it would otherwise be a fight. Include him in searching for and choosing curriculum that he might enjoy.

:iagree:

[Janeway]

I agree that what you are talking about is deschooling. A continuing argument over things (his refusal) isn't deschooling. I've often seen the recommendation for one month deschooling per year of negative school experience.

 

Just a thought, but have you done placement tests for whatever you are using? My daughter is younger, but will plain refuse to do anything that she believes she already knows. She sees no need for review or practice (and honestly, rarely needs it). Short version, no, I don't think it would be a mistake to just do math and let the rest be until next school year. I don't even think it would be a mistake to drop the math for a few months if it would otherwise be a fight. Include him in searching for and choosing curriculum that he might enjoy.

I did placement tests. And, he had way more than one month per year of school to deschool.