Homeschooling an Elite Athlete in Middle School – Help please

[Mimicoto]

Our 11 yo DD has been riding regularly since the age of 6.  This is definitely her passion - we are not a horse family, this comes entirely from her and she has been persistent and dedicated.  Over the past year she has become involved at a 'serious' riding academy, has been taken under the wing of an elite trainer and is being fast-tracked for competition – the ‘barn’ has very high hopes for her and are investing a lot of time and resources in her training and development as an equestrian (we pay for about 1/3 of the time she actually gets). 
 

There is a cadre of girls like her (most of them older, but they were in her shoes just a few years ago) who work hard at the barn, train and compete diligently and consistently go on to very high levels of competition – there is definitely an establisedh track to develop and promote the talent there and she is on it.  DD already works around the barn to help out - exercising horses, building jumps, pitching in as needed to help lessons run etc. in exchange for the extra time.
 

She will begin serious competition in February and her coach anticipates she’ll be ready for state championships by the end of the season.  We are ready to accommodate this, but it means that the study schedule we had set up at the beginning of the year (including numerous outsourced classes) will not work going forward.
 

I’d like to get changes in place before we finish winter break. …which means I’ve got some juggling to do.  We believe in her - one of the main reasons we chose to homeschool was to help our children discover their passions and support their pursuit of same.  And now it is happening.  And so we need to adjust to this new, unexpected reality. 
 

As well, this is just our 2^nd year of homeschooling so we’re still just getting our footing.  We lean more towards Classical / CM in our approach…textbooks and pre-fab curriculum make my heart drop with a sick thud.  DD is enrolled in an HS Charter, but even that feels constrictive and I think we’re going to let it go, at least until we see where things are when high school gets a bit closer.  As a family, we're not really 'inside-the-lines' people :001_smile:
 

DD is a good student and, for the most part, is a responsible, mature child  (she's just 11 after all).  She works well independently and will essentially do as she is asked where studies are concerned.  She is very bright but not what I would call super-ambitious or especially curious with her book studies….but she does like to do a good job….she takes pride in her work and likes to do well.  She does a TON of free-reading, is very creative artistically.  She's a strong writer.  She IS very ambitious, disciplined and committed to riding.  She is humble with her trainer, kind to other riders, learns quickly and is constantly trying to improve.  We have been blessed with a really great kid.

 

In my mind, I've been trying to boil down my questions to something manageable and answerable...what is it that I really want to know?  What help do I need to ask the boards for?

In a nutshell, I suppose it's this....how much wiggle room do I have with my Middle Schooler?  Ideally I would like her to have the time, space and absence of pressure to start her first season of competing on the best footing possible while still getting adequate rest and continuing to ‘keep up’ academically and be sure she's ready to take on high school....while still leaving doors open if her interest shifts or if other changes happen?  Not to mention ensuring she has time to be a kid and to stay plugged in and connected to our very tight family.....

 

How do I do this? How can I best organize her (and our) time to ensure she continues to have an excellent education while seeing where the riding takes her in 7^th and 8^th Grade?  I also HS our 8 yo DS and run the family business, so time is definitely a factor.

 

I have lots left to say, but at this point I’d love any initial input and would welcome questions that would make the task of shuffling DDs studies a bit easier.

 

Thanks in advance....

Edited December 26, 2015 by Mimicoto

[JenneinCA]

What state are you in? Some states have testing requirements and other things that will change what might be suggested.

 

(I wish you and your daughter the best. Riding sounds wonderful!)

[Mimicoto]

Thanks JenneinAZ!  We are in CA, so we have quite a bit of latitude :thumbup1:

 

ETA:  I just noticed from your siggie that you're in CA also :001_smile:

 

Thoughts....should I cross-post this to the General Ed Board?

Edited December 26, 2015 by Mimicoto

[The Governess]

I have a passionate 11yo Dd as well, although her passion is ballet rather than riding. She dances about 15 hours a week plus rehearsals/performances, etc. And...my 9 yo is a competitive gymnast. Balancing their schedules is a huge challenge!

 

We are generally classical in our homeschooling choices. Academics are important to us, and on top of that dd11 is accelerated in several subjects. She is taking a lot of outsourced classes this year, and every day we have to really stay on top of things, one bad day can wreck the whole week.

 

BUT, it is doable. Some of the questions I would be asking are: 1) how much time will her sport take per week? Annually, are there periods where it is more time consuming? 2) What are your school requirements? What is your ideal, and what are your minimums? 3) what do you want your family time together to look like - when will you spend time together?

 

I decided I was not willing to sacrifice academics at this age. We are not doing pared-down academics to accommodate ballet. And if she stays serious about it, it will require even more time in high school. So for her, I feel that middle school is the time to be getting a headstart on solidifying things that she may not have as much time for later, rather than paring down.

 

 

 

What are you using for school currently?

[regentrude]

You have LOTS of wiggle room in the middle grades; it was my absolute favorite tome to homeschool.

There is no specific content you must cover, no credits to keep track off - you can do interest led learning and enjoy the time.

At that age, we spent only 4 hours daily on school work (which did not include free reading, live performances, field trips). The only thing that is really important to keep on top off is math; gaps in math are hard to close. In all content subjects, I aimed for exposure and waking interest and did not care about comprehensive coverage.

My DD ended up exceedingly well prepared for rigorous high school courses including dual enrollment at university at 14, and got admitted to several extremely selective universities.

 

I would encourage you to school without pressure and use homeschooling to give your DD the gift of pursuing her equestrian ambitions. Even with competition season, the little bit of seat work that needs to happen in the middle grades can easily fit.

 

Btw, we did not compromise any academic expectations. We pulled the kids out of ps solely for academic reasons and gave them a more rigorous education than the ps, but in a fraction of the time.

Edited December 26, 2015 by regentrude

[Farrar]

Because she's a voracious reader, creative, and a solid writer, I think you have HUGE wiggle room during middle school. I wouldn't worry much about content subjects for a little while - ease off on those. Keep her reading and writing, be sure to keep up with math, but let everything else be interest led while you get your footing with this. I might aim for a routine of some sort, a reading log, some number of short writing responses to what she reads, and a set of math work every week, a more polished writing and maybe one other thing like an oral report or a presentation or a science project or something per month. I like the way Regentrude phrased it above about giving her the gift of pursuing her ambitions, especially for now.

 

 

[JenneinCA]

I agree with everyone else. Middle school is a time to explore passions and take advantage of whatever resources and opportunities are available.

 

High school can be a different problem. In California added complications come in the place of a-g requirements for high school. And if your daughter is going to be interested in division 1 athletics in college then the NCAA rules will make things messy too. But neither of these is a problem until at least ninth grade.

 

For now, just enjoy the time and the horses.

[ByGrace3]

Well, I have given this quite a bit of thought. And I am interested in everyone's responses. My dd's are competetive gymnasts. Older dd is at the gym 18.5 hours a week plus a few extra for hours that her sister doesn't overlap. At this point in the game, I want her to pursue passions, and have plenty of time to pursue them, but she is 10 and her current passion may or may not last. So...I give her some wiggle room, but we do not sacrifice solid academic pursuits.

 

What that means...as we are planning 6th grade for next year, we will only do one live outside class. Mom taught and self paced classes keep us flexible. Meets often take her away on Fridays and involve many late nights on Sunday's. We accommodate that. Practice ends at 8:30 every night so by the time she comes home, showers, eats dinner...it's bed at or after 10 many nights. So she starts school when she gets up, usually by 9 or so. She doesn't have a ton of free time, but she understands that she chooses her free time to be at the gym. Family commitments and family time are important and are treasured.

 

We do one foreign language instead of two...but I still ask she play an instrument and take Spanish. I believe in passionate pursuits, but I also think there is benefits to being well rounded. Where you balance and draw the lines will be different for every family.

 

Fwiw I homeschooled a few years and rode ... Many days I did schoolwork in my horses stall, get up early to do it so I could be at the barn early...I think the benefit of homeschooling in a situation like this is flexibility. You can pursue passions without sacrificing academic excellence... You may not have 7-8 hours a day to do school, but a solid 4-5 at times that accommodate your activities is definitely workable... Congrats to your dd on such an exciting endeavor!

[jjeepa]

Great advice so far! My 12 year old DD in 7th grade is a competitive gymnast who spends 26 hours and 5 days a week in the gym. Her competitive season begins in December and ends in either March or April, depending on when the state competition is scheduled. Several years ago, as her passion for the sport grew along with her hours in the gym, we found that homeschooling year round gave us the flexibility we needed to allow her rest and space during the competitive season. We keep math going year round along with science, writing, and foreign language. Spreading these subjects out gives us plenty of breathing room to focus on the outsourced classes she must take Sept - May and allows us to keep school days shortened.

 

It is a huge blessing to have the flexibility of homeschooling with a child in a demanding sport. If my DD attended a brick and mortar, we'd have so little time with her. Embrace the freedom to create a life that allows her passion to flourish while obtaining an excellent education!

[Mimicoto]

Wonderful, encouraging advice from absolutely everyone!  Thank you so very much!  :hurray:

 

I have read and re-read each of your responses multiple times already and this is helping me not only to formulate a workable plan, but to gain some clarity on what is important to us as a family and as a homeschool.  I'm also realizing that a large part of my panic over planning and adjusting has had to do with the fact that the demands on her time were not on the radar at the beginning of the year.  We expected that she would take one (or maybe 2) riding lessons per week for a total outside time commitment of about 3 hours or so, and planned accordingly.  Based on this, we enrolled DD in several outside classes that have fairly heavy work loads and presentation requirements every 4-6 weeks.  With riding and related activities taking up 15+ hours a week (before competition begins) this has left all of us stretched thin and DD exhausted.  It's also left us with very little with her, and that is critically important to us.

 

I now see this need to adjust DDs studies as an amazing opportunity to get out in front of things with a structure that is better suited to our evolving reality.  I'll be back with a more considered reply - and probably a few more questions and a multiquote if I can pull it off - but did want to let you all know how helpful your sharing has been.

 

 

Great advice so far! My 12 year old DD in 7th grade is a competitive gymnast who spends 26 hours and 5 days a week in the gym. Her competitive season begins in December and ends in either March or April, depending on when the state competition is scheduled. Several years ago, as her passion for the sport grew along with her hours in the gym, we found that homeschooling year round gave us the flexibility we needed to allow her rest and space during the competitive season. We keep math going year round along with science, writing, and foreign language. Spreading these subjects out gives us plenty of breathing room to focus on the outsourced classes she must take Sept - May and allows us to keep school days shortened.

It is a huge blessing to have the flexibility of homeschooling with a child in a demanding sport. If my DD attended a brick and mortar, we'd have so little time with her. Embrace the freedom to create a life that allows her passion to flourish while obtaining an excellent education!

 

:iagree:  

 

jjeepa, we have set up to school year round already and I think it will have been an excellent choice.  May I ask, do you homeschool under a Charter or ISP?  If so, are you able to school year round with their support? 

[Mommy22alyns]

Hey, I have myself an athlete too!  7th grade competitive gymnast daughter.  We started homeschooling for other reasons, but it's a definite benefit with the heavy training schedule (going 19 hours, 5 days a week, competitive season starts for real in 2 weeks all the way (hopefully) to regionals in April).  I posted on the high school board because I'm already looking and planning ahead for NCAA requirements in high school.  Her coach says she is a  serious candidate for Div. I or II.

 

Your daughter-athlete sounds a lot like mine, and I think many of those qualities are shared by other young competitive athletes. She's very responsible and does all her work well, although she can be a little distracted at times.

 

We do have to take off for the summers though because she has daytime practices and her hours increase as well.

 

I am definitely keeping strong academics as a high priority.  I look at it as, we're not closing any doors.  

 

I'm always glad to see more athletic moms around!

[jjeepa]

No, we don't homeschool under a Charter School or ISP here in PA. It's pretty traditional homeschooling with the help of a few online classes. I do have to prepare a portfolio of her work each year and have it evaluated in the spring by a qualified evaluator, but that's about it.

[kiwik]

Just one point. Compared to gymnasts riders have a long career. While there is an established development path at her stables getting on it early probably isn't essential. Don't feel too pressured.

[Havecoffeewillhomeschool]

Wonderful Question! 

Edited February 14, 2018 by Havecoffeewillhomeschool

[lewelma]

Wow. I'm still trying to picture the violin practice in the car!  :huh:

[maize]

Wow. I'm still trying to picture the violin practice in the car! :huh:

I'm pretty sure some of my kids have done music practice in the back of our 15 passenger van--not while it was moving, but while waiting through another child's activity ;)

 

We have a big open cargo space in the back though.

[Mommy22alyns]

We've done the car-schooling too, although no violin!  We have a 40 minute drive to the gym, so she's taken science, writing, grammar, reading... anything she still has to work on.  It's entirely possible that we might need to take a few subjects even when we hit the road for meets this year.

[Dmmetler]

Not an athlete, but a parent of a kid who's interests require a lot of travel and time in the car. I've found that a mifi hotspot, can charger, and online stuff is very portable and easy to manage. Except for math (my DD hates math on a screen. She really seems to need to be able to mark up math problems), I've converted almost everything to be at least partially on an iPad, Kindle, or laptop. It's really nice to only have to grab one thing.

 

I'll also add that I've gotten good at doing literature and history discussions while driving :).

[Reefgazer]

OP, I appreciate this post because my own DD is 13 and her barn activities have also ramped up to the level of your DD's within in the past few years. In addition, DD swims on a competitive swim team, so it's barn in the early AM and swim practice at night, with school sandwiched in between. The only difference is that we are heading into high school and something is going to have to go, I am quite sure. I'm picking up tips from this really helpful post. One thing that has worked for us is doing things orally, either in the car or at home, because writing is very time consuming. She still writes, but literature and history are limited to discussions at the moment until I figure t how the heck to make this work.

[mc26]

One thing that has worked for us is doing things orally, either in the car or at home, because writing is very time consuming. She still writes, but literature and history are limited to discussions at the moment until I figure t how the heck to make this work.

 

This.  I have an 11 year old tennis player who trains every afternoon and competes every other weekend (sometimes spilling over into Monday).  We are very efficient and do a lot of reading and discussion.  No busywork, no time consuming projects/demonstrations. This actually suits him as he has no tolerance or patience for that kind of thing anyway,  He is a cut to the chase, let's get it done kind of kid.  

[lisabees]

Just wanted to respond to this post, as I have a 10th grade athlete.  She trains 6-7 hours a day, privately, with her ballet instructor.

 

Balancing is difficult.  We, too, have a tight knit family and we were scared that she would drift away from us (which, of course, is natural in high school).  She loves the family, so that has not happened in the least (of course, we are a wonderful distraction, too).  She eats with the family every night that she is around.  Her social life is extremely limited, but she has never been too social anyway.  

 

School.  Well, dd is always behind.  I am not an "inside the lines" person either, so it doesn't bother me too much.  Our drive is only 15 minutes, but many times we discuss school in the car.  While she is doing high school level work, her output is limited.  There is just no time for her to write a lot each week.  When she comes home, she also has exercises and ballet research to do!

 

Your daughter is in middle school.  My main goal in middle school is to inspire curiosity and independent learning.  Our homeschool is most certainly not in the box.  

 

Relax and enjoy the fact that your daughter is living her passion.  Not many of us are given that gift.  You have the time and luxury to create an independent thinker, a curious mind.  Do that with your homeschool.  If your daughter is bright and things comes naturally, everything will fall into place during high school.

 

One more thing - you mentioned that she was part of a charter school.  That is more restrictive and it is something our dd could never do with her schedule.  With homeschooling, she is able to create her own courses, which helps when time is limited.  If they are interested in what they are learning, it makes life much easier!

 

Best wishes to your daughter!

 

 

[LinaJ]

National tennis players mom here :) We started homeschool because we needed flexibility to allow travel. We're getting out of school early every day to train, missing a lot of days due to training/tournament travel etc. After 6-9months of research and lots of back&forths, we decided to give it a go. (I should have homeschooled from the beginning - love it!). Now if we want an outside home class, we can only choose Wednesdays - travel for tournaments usually starts on Thursdays, and we get home on Monday/Tuesday. I joined Monday co-op, but quickly learned it was not possible for us to keep up because we missed at least half of them.

 

We only homeschool at home, never at tournaments. On occasion we may take a few worksheets or a book to read, but usually kids are in their tourney mode, so concentration is on matches and tactics. When national tournaments have only a match a day, kids go practice with their friends in afternoons. So whenever we are at home, we do school every day (weekends included) to be able to keep up with a schedule. My both kids have the same curriculum (they are 15months apart). My son is accelerated in most subjects, so I do more advanced stuff and his older sister has to try to keep up with him. Works well for us.

 

Sometimes it seems like we are never home and all of it is just too much, and I wonder is it worth it.... I ask my kids if they are tired, if they want to have sleepovers and lazy weekends or pointless walks at the mall with friends, or go to school dances etc. When they are tired and overwhelmed, I think they wonder that too. But the idea of giving high level tennis up is just unfathomable to them. It's a lot of hard work, compromises, but it molds their character like nothing else would... And at the end of the day I am with my kids 24/7 and I love it.

 

Good luck to your daughter!

Edited January 23, 2016 by LinaJ

[mc26]

National tennis players mom here :) We started homeschool because we needed flexibility to allow travel. We're getting out of school early every day to train, missing a lot of days due to training/tournament travel etc. After 6-9months of research and lots of back&forths, we decided to give it a go. (I should have homeschooled from the beginning - love it!). Now if we want an outside home class, we can only choose Wednesdays - travel for tournaments usually starts on Thursdays, and we get home on Monday/Tuesday. I joined Monday co-op, but quickly learned it was not possible for us to keep up because we missed at least half of them.

 

We only homeschool at home, never at tournaments. On occasion we may take a few worksheets or a book to read, but usually kids are in their tourney mode, so concentration is on matches and tactics. When national tournaments have only a match a day, kids go practice with their friends in afternoons. So whenever we are at home, we do school every day (weekends included) to be able to keep up with a schedule. My both kids have the same curriculum (they are 15months apart). My son is accelerated in most subjects, so I do more advanced stuff and his older sister has to try to keep up with him. Works well for us.

 

Sometimes it seems like we are never home and all of it is just too much, and I wonder is it worth it.... I ask my kids if they are tired, if they want to have sleepovers and lazy weekends or pointless walks at the mall with friends, or go to school dances etc. When they are tired and overwhelmed, I think they wonder that too. But the idea of giving high level tennis up is just unfathomable to them. It's a lot of hard work, compromises, but it molds their character like nothing else would... And at the end of the day I am with my kids 24/7 and I love it.

 

Good luck to your daughter!

Another tennis mom here--just getting started with national level tournaments.  Just curious what curriculum you use.

 

Thanks!!

[Mimicoto]

OP chiming in briefly - incredibly busy right now, but wanted to let all of you know how much your suggestions, observations and experience have helped us transition our homeschool in light of DDs evolving commitment to her sport.

 

I hope to be back soon with a more detailed response, but please know that each of you have helped me to gain confidence and RELAX into this surprising - and exciting! - reality.  Your sharing has given me the confidence that it CAN be done...and in a way that suits my child and our family.

 

We've already made some changes that have made a big difference in the quality of our days....DD is much more efficient and has TIME to do what needs to be done.  She has impressed me big time with her commitment on all fronts. 

 

To LinaJ....we definitely are not loving the restrictions of the charter school.  It was a choice we made at the beginning of the year and made sense at the time.  Things have changed dramatically since then and I dearly hope we can withdraw by March. 

 

More to follow - thank you everybody!!

[Mimicoto]

 

 

Quote fail - sorry! 

Edited January 24, 2016 by Mimicoto

[Pen]

Your dd wants to start competition and so on, I take it? This is not a path that was thrust on her by the serious barn and coach?

 

I ask b/c my ds ice skates, and his coach and the head of his program keep telling me he needs more time at the rink, but that seems to be their agenda to move him to where he could go to Nationals perhaps in a couple of years, not so much his agenda.  He has a co-op he goes to which is just as important to him or maybe more so because he likes the social aspects, and while he likes to skate very much, he does not necessarily like to turn it into something that is competitive.

 

Assuming that your dd does want the high level competitive equestrian riding track, I agree that this is a great time to pursue that with lots of wiggle room. You/she cannot do everything though, so doing that will mean not doing other things, and it is important that she understand that too.

[Mimicoto]

Your dd wants to start competition and so on, I take it? This is not a path that was thrust on her by the serious barn and coach?

 

I ask b/c my ds ice skates, and his coach and the head of his program keep telling me he needs more time at the rink, but that seems to be their agenda to move him to where he could go to Nationals perhaps in a couple of years, not so much his agenda.  He has a co-op he goes to which is just as important to him or maybe more so because he likes the social aspects, and while he likes to skate very much, he does not necessarily like to turn it into something that is competitive.

 

Assuming that your dd does want the high level competitive equestrian riding track, I agree that this is a great time to pursue that with lots of wiggle room. You/she cannot do everything though, so doing that will mean not doing other things, and it is important that she understand that too.

 

Pen, that's a great question to ask!  Yes - this is definitely DDs choice....she is really focused and has definite goals and planned milestones of her own making.  When she is not at the barn or 'doing school', she watches (and re-watches!) the televised Grand Prix....she knows who is who, and keeps tabs on the younger, up and coming riders.  She reads articles, analyzes courses and rider choices, etc.  And when she's not doing that, she spends time on a 3-D interactive riding and horse-care game.  This is all her.

 

This is her passion and she is simply very gifted....although she's ridden Western for fun (summer camps and the like) since she was 6 or 7, she began riding English just 8-9 months ago and is already in the big field with the more advanced riders.  Folks are generally dumbfounded by her progress.  But she's humble - her trainer is an amazing woman who is as demanding about issues of character as she is about technique.  DD is with the older girls at the barn (14-16 yo's) who have been trained by the same woman, and have gently taken DD under their wings.  They are sweet with her and are good and fair mentors.  We are blessed.

 

The 'ramping up' of her training program and show prep has been relatively gradual - about a 2-3 month process I'd say - and we spent a lot of time discussing what activities would have to be sacrificed to make room (both in terms of time and money) to take this on.  This in itself was an excellent learning experience for her, and I'm really proud of the maturity she showed in her choice-making.

 

So far it is working out really well!

Edited January 24, 2016 by Mimicoto

[Pen]

That's good. Since she is a strong writer and does tons of reading, I'd tend to think if you just make sure she keeps doing some writing, and reads some books that are about science and history as part of her ton of reading, that the main thing you need to make sure she specially keeps up on academically to be prepared for high school is her math.

[LinaJ]

Another tennis mom here--just getting started with national level tournaments. Just curious what curriculum you use.

 

Thanks!!

Just seeing this now, sorry. My kids are 12&13, and this year we use Analytical Grammar, AOPS algebra, Pandia Press Biology 2 till new year, and Chemistry after new year... etc So definitely the mix of things.

 

What age group your kids play? 'Maybe I will see you in Tuscon at Winter Nats :)

[mc26]

Just seeing this now, sorry. My kids are 12&13, and this year we use Analytical Grammar, AOPS algebra, Pandia Press Biology 2 till new year, and Chemistry after new year... etc So definitely the mix of things.

 

What age group your kids play? 'Maybe I will see you in Tuscon at Winter Nats :)

My boy is 12.  Really hoping to get to Tuscon--looking for cheap flights this week.   :)  We have the National Selection next weekend that got postponed from Hurricane Matthew.

Edited October 24, 2016 by mc26

[LinaJ]

My boy is 12.  Really hoping to get to Tuscon--looking for cheap flights this week.   :)  We have the National Selection next weekend that got postponed from Hurricane Matthew.

 

We lucked up and chose Ohio for my son, and Wisconsin for my daughter - so we already played. Make sure you pack gloves and hats for Tuscon - it's brutal in the mornings.

 

I have a feeling we met somewhere on tennis courts.. :) Let me know if you get into Winter Nats.... We will have to say hi to each other in real life. :)