Question of etiquette and dogs visiting...

[Lolly]

So, we invited dh's siblings to come for Thanksgiving. Only one is coming which didn't surprise us much. They have never come home much, and really never since both his parents have passed. Sil is bringing her dog. That's fine, we expected that. Our dog is the same age. They have known each other since they were puppies. BUT, her FIL, whom we have never met, is coming with her and her dh. No problem. He is bringing his dog also...Okay...Dh doesn't see any problem with this, and he is the one doing all the back and forthing with sil. Our dog is very old. Very. As in, we have been discussing when we should put her down for over a year now. She has been bitten/nipped/attacked by small dogs multiple times while we were walking (her biggish dog and leashed with an owner who probably should have allowed her to eat the little dogs that went after us). She does not like them very much. Dh says we will just lock her in our room. She will eat through the door and destroy the house if we do that. I am insisting that before filil (father in law in law)'s dog is going to have to meet our dog outside while they are both leashed. Then, we can move indoors with leashes on until they are all comfortable. I want sil to have her dog leashed during this time too. I just want all dogs under control while they get acquainted. Does that sound unreasonable?

 

Also, we do NOT allow our dog on the furniture. Sil does. I am thinking filil probably does too. His is a small dog that travels with him. I've found that usually means dog is allowed to sit with the peoples. Is it asking too much to ask them to keep their dogs off my furniture? There will be few enough seats as it is for people. I am also not liking the thought of the dogs sleeping in my beds. I guess if that is there norm at home, it would be asking too much to not allow them to... and to use a crate... Thoughts?

 

And, a public service message and small rant: Taking your dog with you when you go and visit people, especially people you have never met, is not a good idea. Your dog is not a human, no matter how much you think it is. Yes, I am wishing we had never extended the invitation, even if it was the right thing to do. I was ready to put up with dog in law. But...this is pushing me to my limits. I will suck it up and be accommodating. I will make nice. But, can I at least ask them to keep the dogs off the furniture!?!?! And, I am on the right track with the dogs meeting outside and leashed? Dh and sil are not happy about that either. She rarely/never leashes her dog. They would just run into my house and there is my unsuspecting dog with an old friend and a total stranger dog in her home. That just seems like a really, really bad idea.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Lolly

[SKL]

May I suggest that you provide a designated doggy couch or some such?  Or put a sheet over the furniture their dogs will sit on.  I don't consider that rude.  (Others may disagree.)

 

As for the bed, I would just make sure everything is washable and plan on washing it after the folks leave.

 

I have a friend who always brings his dog.  It is a really sweet dog who doesn't stink.  :)  It is part of their family and I accept that, even though I myself don't have pets and am not a fan of dogs on furniture.

 

Oh, and I think your suggestion to get the dogs used to each other sounds good.  I hope it works.  Otherwise you might end up putting your dog in a crate, for its own protection.

[MercyA]

It's fine to ask that the dogs meet outside first. Just put it on your dog if that makes it easier: "Sorry, our girl is old and nervous around little dogs. I think it will help her if she meets your dogs outside first, with them all on leashes."

 

Absolutely ask them to keep their dogs off the furniture. That's not asking too much. Just keep it simple: "Sorry, we don't allow dogs on the furniture."

 

The bed issue is a little harder. If a dog isn't crate trained, he's likely to cry and bang around if put in a crate at night. Sheets are easily washed. You could put an anti-allergen and/or waterproof mattress pad on the bed, too, and wash it when they leave.

 

:grouphug:

[Guest]

Yes, just like when other people's children are at your hous and have to follow your rules, so should your pet owning family.

 

If you wouldn't hesitate to tell a kid "we don't eat in the livingroom" or whatever, also don't hesitate to say you don't allow pets on furniture. If they are like my family, expect some passive-aggressive comments directed at the dog for you to hear [i HATE THIS SO MUCH! but I digress...] like, "Ohhh poor baby, LMNOP doesn't let you on the couch. Ohhh pooor puppeeeeeeeeeee" but tune it out! Your house your rules!!

 

And seriously, meeting outside on leashes is good for all the dogs involved. People are soo weird about pets. You do this one thing (leash the dogs) and decrease dog stress by like 80 percent...it's so easy to do! Why not do it?

 

Anyway I vote just insist.

[PrincessMommy]

Oh... I'd be frustrated by this whole situation..but that's me. 

 

I would say that if people treat their dogs like kids then their "kids" need to learn that different houses have different rules.   You should feel free to ask them not to allow their dog to sit on the furniture or sleep in your beds.  If they want to let their dog act like it's their home then either board them at the kennel or go to a hotel.    You may want to warn them ahead of time in case they have a little doggy bed they can bring.

 

 

[Lolly]

May I suggest that you provide a designated doggy couch or some such?  Or put a sheet over the furniture their dogs will sit on.  I don't consider that rude.  (Others may disagree.)

 

As for the bed, I would just make sure everything is washable and plan on washing it after the folks leave.

 

I have a friend who always brings his dog.  It is a really sweet dog who doesn't stink.  :)  It is part of their family and I accept that, even though I myself don't have pets and am not a fan of dogs on furniture.

 

Oh, and I think your suggestion to get the dogs used to each other sounds good.  I hope it works.  Otherwise you might end up putting your dog in a crate, for its own protection.

 

I haven't found sheets to do much good. They slip so much. Yeah, I think I am just going to have to plan on washing every. single. item in the house. As far as making sure everything is washable, I don't exactly have time to go out and purchase (or the $) different bedding. Sil's dog already almost ruined dd's comforter a few years ago.

 

And, wow! I am shocked people think it is okay to ask them to keep the dogs off the furniture! And HAPPY!!! We'll see how it plays out though. Dh will probably be telling them it is fine. He isn't very good at asking people to accommodate us. He thinks it should always be us accommodating everyone else. (And not just family)

 

I wish I could put my pup in a crate. We did crate her when she was little, but she figured out how to get out (metal crate). When we put a lock on it, she tears her nose and gums up trying to eat her way out. Leaves a bloody mess. She really does not like to be contained, or away from her people when she can hear them. Which is one reason I understand that asking them not to put theirs in their bed may be too much.  (I do not take mine with us when we travel.)

Edited November 24, 2015 by Lolly

[TammyS]

None of it is too much to ask, and I'll go you one better.  I don't think it's wrong to call them up and say, "Upon further reflection, I'm really sorry, but I think that two extra dogs is more than my house and my older dog can take right now.  I'm afraid you're going to need to send them to the kennel for your visit.  I'd be happy to find one near here, if you want to be able to go visit while you are here."

[Donna]

We are visiting relatives over Thanksgiving and taking our dogs (out of necessity) but found a rental through AirB&B that allows pets rather than staying in their homes with our animals.

[Lolly]

None of it is too much to ask, and I'll go you one better.  I don't think it's wrong to call them up and say, "Upon further reflection, I'm really sorry, but I think that two extra dogs is more than my house and my older dog can take right now.  I'm afraid you're going to need to send them to the kennel for your visit.  I'd be happy to find one near here, if you want to be able to go visit while you are here."

 

Honestly, if I had been consulted, it would have been done this immediately when I found out about the second dog. Unfortunately, I want dh to be happy more. He wants his sister to come. We haven't seen her in a long while. Therefore, I will be good. But, I think I will ask them to keep their dogs off the furniture. And, I will insist on the dogs meeting leashed outside. And, I will be ready for one of us to sit in another room with our poor old girl.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Lolly

[abba12]

No advice, just sympathies. My sister also has a dog-baby, and it terrorizes my cats. There's no good solutions. 

 

You say that you do not take your dog when you travel, where does he usually stay? A kennel? A friends house? Is it possible he could go somewhere else for a couple of days. This isn't ideal or fair, but if your husband is of the 'accomodate others at all costs' variety, it might be better for your dog to simply avoid the situation. 

[TammyS]

Honestly, if I had been consulted, it would have been done this immediately when I found out about the second dog. Unfortunately, I want dh to be happy more. He wants his sister to come. We haven't seen her in a long while. Therefore, I will be good. But, I think I will ask them to keep their dogs off the furniture. And, I will insist on the dogs meeting leashed outside. And, I will be ready for one of us to sit in another room with our poor old girl.

 

No, I'm not suggesting you uninvite the PEOPLE, just the DOGS. 

[Arctic Bunny]

Some people are reasonable with their dogs, some are crazy-not.

 

I am amazed that the same people whose children I have trained not to climb on my furniture, now know that their dogs can't get up there either. And I think dogs are much better about learning rules in a shorter amount of time, TBH.

 

I am waiting for BIL to get here with his family and dog at Christmas. I suspect my theory will play out and the dog will get the hang of "rules" sooner.

[Hikin' Mama]

I have dogs. I let them on my furniture. I big puffy heart love my dogs. But... I would NEVER let them on someone else's furniture. In fact, when I stay at someone else's house, the dogs get boarded. Yep, it's a pain and it costs me $$, but a night of boarding is cheaper than staying at a hotel, so there's that.

 

It is your house and you get to call the shots. I don't even let other dogs come to my house, except my mom's. Oh and then there are the dogs I puppysit from time to time. I love watching them. But their owner lets me call the shots, because it's my house.

[Pawz4me]

It would probably be extremely difficult (and likely impossible) for them to find a kennel with room to board them this close to a holiday.  Many kennels book up months in advance for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[zoobie]

Tell them their dogs aren't welcome. That's crazy.

[PrincessMommy]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask them if they could board their dogs for your dog's sake.  Play the "doggie is old and ready to die" card.

 

The whole idea of bringing one's pets to someone else's house (esp. for over night visits) is not something I grew up with and I would never, ever consider it for my own doggy.  well, maybe I'd consider it IF the host brought it up and insisted- but otherwise, I just think it's a strange custom. Call me old-fashioned.

 

Now, doggy "play-dates" that's different.

[Laurie4b]

I don't let other visiting dogs on our furniture. Our dog is not allowed and neither are they. If you are worried about bedding, you could ask where their dog sleeps. If it is used to sleeping in a bed, could you ask them to bring bedding? Just say yours isn't dog proof and you don't have any other options.

 

I can't imagine going somewhere and assuming that it would be okay to allow my dog on their furniture or to have my dog sleep on their bed. 

[RoughCollie]

I would let the visiting dog owners know ahead of time that their dogs are not allowed on the furniture (including beds).  I would be prepared, though, with sheets or blankets or a tarp or a canvas drop cloth ... just in case some dog insists on that and the owner isn't vigilant. Otherwise you will be spending all your time protecting your furniture and possibly having a distraght owner/guest being worried about the dog's feelings being hurt.

 

I would make sure everyone knows my dog is a member of our family and his needs rule.  So if a visiting dog causes him distress, the visitor will be crated.

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

I would suggest sending an email ahead of time, letting them know that they will be having a LEASHED meet-up prior to entering the house.  Around here, it's crazy how many small dog owners don't bother bringing leashes anywhere, thinking that they can just pick the dogs up and everything is A-OK. 

[foxbridgeacademy]

We have had to on occasion take our dog(s) with us visiting.... we take the crate, it's a big one the dogs are tiny.  They stay in the crate except to go outside on a leash for the first day.  Otherwise they'd bite every one and every thing that they saw.  After the first day they've settled in and can be let out for short periods.  It usually takes the Chihuahua another day to really feel comfortable but then they both act as if they were born there.  So having them meet outside and be kept on leashes is a great idea.  Also it's your house, no pets on furniture is the rule.  While sheets/covers may appear to keep hair and such off furniture/beds it really doesn't(otherwise our mattresses wouldn't gain weight from all our skin cells).  I would get cheap mattress covers* for the beds and say absolutely no to dogs on couches.

[gardenmom5]

some of this is conversation that needs to happen before they ever leave their house.

 

a.) what will happen if the dogs decide they won't ever get along?  why should YOUR dog be locked up to accommodate other people's dogs?  do they have seperate crates for theirs? will they leave their dogs in their car if your dog decides he doesn't want his territory infringed?

b.) who will get their dogs OFF your furniture when they jump up?  will they support teaching their dogs manners that this isn't their house - and they can't jump up on their hosts favorite chair and expect to stay there.

c.) do they plan on feeding their dogs while at your house?  where will they feed their dogs?  how will your dog respond to a strange dog eating at your house?

d.) do you have a fenced backyard - and will they be willing to put their dogs outside?

e.) where will the dogs be during dinner?  do their dogs expect people to toss them table scraps? do they stick with their owner - or whomever they think has the least willpower to say "no"?

 

I say this as someone whose mother routinely brought her dog to my house (I dont' currently have a dog - but have, and like big dogs.).  so, at dh's large family thanksgiving at our house, mom's dog was there. (very polite dog - as in, didn't bark, laid down somewhere while people ate, generally stayed on my mother's lap at other times. she was also very good at staying away from people's feet. (honestly, we think a previous owner kicked her.) I don't like dogs on furniture either, but this small polite dog got an exemption.)  dh's nephew decided he would go back to his house - and get his dog.  small puppy - she ended up in her crate because nephew realized it wasn't working.

 

 

[gardenmom5]

I would suggest sending an email ahead of time, letting them know that they will be having a LEASHED meet-up prior to entering the house.  Around here, it's crazy how many small dog owners don't bother bringing leashes anywhere, thinking that they can just pick the dogs up and everything is A-OK. 

 

 

I have a neighbor like that.  I HATE that dog. it will stand at the end of my driveway and bark like it owns the place.  I cornered it once in my garage, and carried it home - suggesting an obedience class.  small dog owners often think small dogs dont' need to learn how to be polite OR obedient.

[IsabelC]

I think that if anything you are being too nice. It's simply a case of your house, your rules, and why should you be expected to upset your dog (not to mention yourself) for the sake of somebody else's dog. I'd just lay out the rules and invite them to choose between bring the dogs (and they have to be on leash / crated overnight / stay off the good furniture / whatever) or make alternative arrangements for the care of the dogs while they visit you. They really shouldn't be even putting you in this position in the first place. I would never assume that an invitation to my family includes the dog unless that was explicitly stated / discussed.

Edited November 25, 2015 by IsabelC

[TX Native]

Do the 2 visiting dogs know each other and get along? If so, can they stay in one room together or a spare bathroom behind a closed door most of the time? Can they sleep in the same room with one of the guests so you only have to worry with deep cleaning one room when they leave? We let our dog get on furniture here, but are firm with the dog to stay off furniture when we visit family. She has always adapted. Ususlly our dog stays in a different room or bathroom behind a closed door when we visit family, but we let her out when there isn't much activity if the family member likes the dog around. I take the dog's toys, bed, food, and water bowl with me for familiarity. If the dog yelps or whines, I firmly tell the dog to be quiet. Not all dogs will behave in this situation or adapt to new rules, but some will.

 

It is fine to have dog rules for visitors, but polite to let visitors know the rules before the dog shows up. It is also fine to deny visiting pets, but polite to deny the pet when you 1st know the visitor wants to bring the pet if at all possible.

[Word Nerd]

I just can't fathom bringing a pet with me to someone's home, though of course that would depend on how well I knew the person and whether I had explicit permission; I would definitely not just assume it would be OK. I wish my sister's family didn't have to bring along their dog every time we're all at Mom and Dad's. She growls at everyone she doesn't know, especially the younger kids. She stays in the basement most of the time, which is where the kids have space to hang out—at least when there isn't a dog making it off limits.

Edited November 25, 2015 by Word Nerd

[matrips]

Wow! I'd never to think to bring my dog. I get the kennel expense but still. Is this just a meal or sleepover? If just a long drive and meal, I could see maybe bringing my dog and crate, after asking. But I'd probably leave it in the crate or ask about a laundry room or something. I'd never assume someone to be okay with it.

[Mimm]

I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving. My brother's house is dog friendly and his dog is good with other dogs, but I'm still boarding my dog. I'm not sure what the rules are about furniture at his house and my dog is allowed on furniture and would be very hard to keep off. Plus, despite my best efforts, my dog isn't 100% housetrained. I take him to my mother's because she's got five dogs and doesn't mind the odd accident, but my brother and SIL just bought their house and their dog is very well trained. All that to say, I would never impose my dog's possible misbehaviors on other people, even close family. He won't be happy with me dropping him off and it'll be two nights, but he's gone before and been thrilled to death when he saw me again, so I can only hope that he remembers that I will indeed pick him up. :)

[kewb]

No, just no to bringing your not invited dog.

Even if our dog is invited I often choose to board him. Not a headache I need if something goes amiss.

Your guests should follow your house rules for their pets. If this is an issue they are welcome to go elsewhere. As host you should be making them aware of the rules far enough in advance so they can make alternate arrangements if necessary.

Edited November 25, 2015 by kewb

[Shellydon]

I agree with you 100%.  No dogs on the furniture at our house and they must be crated at night. 

[HSmomof2]

None of it is too much to ask, and I'll go you one better. I don't think it's wrong to call them up and say, "Upon further reflection, I'm really sorry, but I think that two extra dogs is more than my house and my older dog can take right now. I'm afraid you're going to need to send them to the kennel for your visit. I'd be happy to find one near here, if you want to be able to go visit while you are here."

^^^ ITA

The situation you've described would just cause me too much stress.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would let visiting dog owners know that dogs are not allowed in the house at all.  If they have to bring them then they can tie them up to a tree. But that is me.

 

 

 

 

I cannot stand dogs in the house at all. If they were coming here I would also tell them that we have paralysis ticks ( we do) and unless their dog has been getting preventative treatment then they might get a tick and die. In fact it would be best if they didn't bring their dog at all.

[Mama Geek]

We've have had a large dog for 20 years (2 different dogs)  We have traveled with them tons and visited people with them.  We are always come up with a way to have the dog tied up outside, or crated or in the laundry room or whatever other options there are for people who don't want dogs running around in their house.  I know there are people that aren't like us, and my IL's are a perfect example.

 

Your real issue is with your husband, hopefully the 2 of you can work out what you will and won't accept before your company arrives. 

[BlsdMama]

Honestly, if I had been consulted, it would have been done this immediately when I found out about the second dog. Unfortunately, I want dh to be happy more. He wants his sister to come. We haven't seen her in a long while. Therefore, I will be good. But, I think I will ask them to keep their dogs off the furniture. And, I will insist on the dogs meeting leashed outside. And, I will be ready for one of us to sit in another room with our poor old girl.

 

You have my sympathies.  I'm not an "animal in the house" kind of a person.  We allow it for the sake of relationships.  Your focus on your DH and DH's focus on his relationship with his sister and willingness to accommodate those things is very telling to who you are and your priorities.  And you're right, these relationships are more important than cleaning sheets and worth all the angst for a few days.  So I'm sending you no solutions, but a hug, and a huge congratulations for putting relationships first, and just keep telling yourself, "Relationships are important, it's only X days."  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

[Carrie12345]

We have a big family party this weekend.  I felt like an ass, but made myself ask my aunt if we could bring our small dog if the weather looks questionable (which would allow us to get a hotel instead of drive home in ice to save Puppy.)  She's a love and told us to bring him, regardless.  BUT, her dog is crate trained. My dog is crate trained.  And she has spare rooms.  My dog will be crated, held, or outside on-leash at all times.

 

Dogs aren't usually a problem; their people are.

 

We've had a few dog owners visit our home when we've had big dogs, but they've kept their big guys outside (and one little guy in a carrier) because it's just physically impossible to have more big dogs loose in our house.  But that was in mild weather.

 

If your home can't accommodate two more pets, it can't accommodate two more pets.

[Lolly]

You have my sympathies.  I'm not an "animal in the house" kind of a person.  We allow it for the sake of relationships.  Your focus on your DH and DH's focus on his relationship with his sister and willingness to accommodate those things is very telling to who you are and your priorities.  And you're right, these relationships are more important than cleaning sheets and worth all the angst for a few days.  So I'm sending you no solutions, but a hug, and a huge congratulations for putting relationships first, and just keep telling yourself, "Relationships are important, it's only X days."  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

Thank you. I think this is what I really needed to hear. And, it might be just fine. I am projecting problems where there may not be any.

 

Everyone else, thank you so much. It really helps to know that I am not out of bounds with my thoughts and expectations!

[gardenmom5]

 

 

Dogs aren't usually a problem; their people are.

 

THIS.

and that includes people who are in denial about their dog's personality.

[gardenmom5]

We allow it for the sake of relationships.  Your focus on your DH and DH's focus on his relationship with his sister and willingness to accommodate those things is very telling to who you are and your priorities.  

 

 

question - why does all the compromise have to be one her side?  are the other people obligated to also care enough about relationships to be wiling to give a little?

 

what you're advocating can also be said to be encouraging someone to be a doormat.

[Guest]

Your house, your rules. My FIL didn't visit for years because I don't allow dogs in my home. That was his choice (shhh, we didn't miss him).

[Hikin' Mama]

You have my sympathies. I'm not an "animal in the house" kind of a person. We allow it for the sake of relationships. Your focus on your DH and DH's focus on his relationship with his sister and willingness to accommodate those things is very telling to who you are and your priorities. And you're right, these relationships are more important than cleaning sheets and worth all the angst for a few days. So I'm sending you no solutions, but a hug, and a huge congratulations for putting relationships first, and just keep telling yourself, "Relationships are important, it's only X days." Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I do agree that there are things one does for the sake of relationships. I have compromised my feelings on many things for the sake of relationships. I feel like I am more often the one doing so. But letting other people's dogs come over (with the exceptions I mentioned in my above post) is one thing I won't do. I think a person can have limits to what one will do for the sake of relationships and still have their priorities in line.

[Renthead Mommy]

Just remember telling them once you don't allow dogs on the furniture may get you no where.  Chances are their dog is "special" so it's really okay to let him up on the furniture.  Um, no it's really not.  Everytime you see it, smile and say "Oh, sorry, we don't allow dogs on the furniture."  Eventually they will get tired of hearing it.  Hopefully.  You may have to repeat it several times.  Most likey you will have to do that.  But if their toddlers were jumping on your furniture you'd keep repeating it if they kept 'forgetting'.  This works the same. 

[Tsuga]

Your request to have a meet and greet in the yard is reasonable. It can be enforced by meeting them outside.

 

Your request to have them stay off the furniture is reasonable but your hope of enforcing this is likely to be dashed.

 

I would let that go for the sake of family and just wash everything in the spirit of family peace.

 

i hope you all have fun. :)

[TammyS]

I do agree that there are things one does for the sake of relationships. I have compromised my feelings on many things for the sake of relationships. I feel like I am more often the one doing so. But letting other people's dogs come over (with the exceptions I mentioned in my above post) is one thing I won't do. I think a person can have limits to what one will do for the sake of relationships and still have their priorities in line.

 

 

:iagree:

One of the things that bugs me about the idea of THIS compromise is that we're saying that OP has to compromise, because people are willing to dump the relationship FOR A DOG?!  I mean, really? 

[wintermom]

I completely sympathize with you that this sounds like extra stress. As your dh has been doing all the communications leading up to the visit, and he is confident about everything going well, just continue to leave it in his capable hands. It may go great, it may have some bumps, but most likely everyone will live to tell about it. And you have a great exuse if you need some alone time by checking on your dog. ;)

[Lolly]

:iagree:

One of the things that bugs me about the idea of THIS compromise is that we're saying that OP has to compromise, because people are willing to dump the relationship FOR A DOG?!  I mean, really? 

yeah, but that is how people are about their "fur babies". I rarely see my sister anymore because I CANNOT stand her dog. And, the dog is always with her. She lets it jump on people's heads. She thinks it is cute. So, you sit on the sofa, the dog sits on your head. Literally. It is not a small dog either. Plus, it is skittish and tends to bite if you accidentally walk by it...

[gardenmom5]

yeah, but that is how people are about their "fur babies". I rarely see my sister anymore because I CANNOT stand her dog. And, the dog is always with her. She lets it jump on people's heads. She thinks it is cute. So, you sit on the sofa, the dog sits on your head. Literally. It is not a small dog either. Plus, it is skittish and tends to bite if you accidentally walk by it...

 

I had encounters with a dog like that.  I'd grab it's paws and hold on tight.  all the while telling it what a cute little doggie it is - doesn't take long before the dog is trying to get away . . . . don't let go, just keep on in that stupid sing-song voice, about what a cute little doggie he his.  only a really stupid dog does that to me twice.

[Tsuga]

:iagree:

One of the things that bugs me about the idea of THIS compromise is that we're saying that OP has to compromise, because people are willing to dump the relationship FOR A DOG?! I mean, really?

Just because they don't have it in them to love me more than a dog, doesn't mean I don't have it in me to love them in spite of their dog.

 

I don't want to be only as nice as the pettiest person in the group. I try to be the nicest I can be not the nicest they can be.

[Garga]

I'd ask them to bring their own sheets and blankets if they sleep with their dogs. You might have to provide a fitted sheet, if they have a different size bed.

 

I'd ask them what the plan is if the dogs don't get along, since your dog will bite its mouth bloody to get out of a container. If they're dog people that should be the last thing they want (a hurt dog). Lob that ball back into their court. If they don't have a plan that will work, ask them pointedly, "But...what is your plan?" They have to come up with a plan. Will they go back home? You cannot have fighting dogs in the house and your dog will be a bloody mess if you crate your dog, so...what will they do about that?

 

I'd plan to have the oldest blanket/comforter in the house nearby just in case the dogs simply cannot understand the no couch rule. Then at least if you lose that battle, you can cover the couch with the blanket. Don't let anyone, even your DH, know ahead of time that you have the blanket as a backup.

 

How far away do they live? How long will they be gone? Just how much of a problem would it be for them to leave the dogs at home? Is it a matter of 2 days of finding someone to feed/walk the dog? Or a week? Just curious about this last bit (length of stay.)

Edited November 26, 2015 by Garga

[Lolly]

Well, things are going all right. Sil's dog, who has always been a sofa puppy is completely blind now and just walks around bumping into things. It cannot get on the sofa because it can't see it. Filil's dog is well mannered. It isn't a furniture dog. Cute little malapoo??? But, it doesn't like large dogs. If mine walks within 3 feet of it, he snarls and snaps. Really just a warning. It upsets mine, but she will get over it.

 

The visit is only two short and one long day(s).

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, things are going all right. Sil's dog, who has always been a sofa puppy is completely blind now and just walks around bumping into things. It cannot get on the sofa because it can't see it. Filil's dog is well mannered. It isn't a furniture dog. Cute little malapoo??? But, it doesn't like large dogs. If mine walks within 3 feet of it, he snarls and snaps. Really just a warning. It upsets mine, but she will get over it.

 

The visit is only two short and one long day(s).

Glad things are working out.  I would recommend asking for all the dogs to be able to take a break from each other occasionally so that they can de-stress. 

 

I get not being able to leave a dog for the holidays as we have a dog that we can't leave alone overnight (even with a dog-walker.)  He also finds kennels too stressful as they remind him of his shelter days.  While we have a family that we trade dog care with, we can't ask that over the holidays.  For several years, we weren't able to travel for holiday gatherings.  We have some family where we can bring the dog.  We have others where it is just not possible (they have a bunny.) 

[8circles]

Just because they don't have it in them to love me more than a dog, doesn't mean I don't have it in me to love them in spite of their dog.

 

I don't want to be only as nice as the pettiest person in the group. I try to be the nicest I can be not the nicest they can be.

 

Loving other people doesn't mean being OK with them treating you badly.  

 

YOu can love them and not allow their dogs in your house.  You can love them and not allow their dogs on your furniture.  You can love them and request that they not bring their dogs.  I could go on but I'm tired.

 

Being a doormat is not love.  I don't believe in doormat theology.

 

OP, I'm glad the visit is going well. :)

Edited November 27, 2015 by 8circles