Jump to content

Menu

Ideas for model short essays to imitate


dovrar
 Share

Recommended Posts

  I'm looking for some short essays for DS to read to help him wrap his mind around what a good thesis statement should look like for a five paragraph essay. He has a tendency to try and bite off more than he can chew. However, we really haven't read many essays and I'm thinking that that may be a big part of the problem.  Thanks in advance for your recommendations.

 

:bigear:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Briefly:

 

First, I wouldn't necessarily teach "the 5 paragraph essay", but rather, would teach how to write a solid essay, whether that is accomplished in 2 paragraphs or 20, or something in between. :) Teaching that 5 paragraphs is somehow the standard can set the student up for potentially developing poor writing habits by feeling they must stretch weak material to fill, or chop a strong/complex essay to fit, an arbitrary 5 paragraphs. JMO! :)

 

Also, how old is your DS? If elementary age, then I would relax and work on this concept in a few years. JMO, but a student really needs to have moved solidly into the Logic Stage to begin to be able to do this concept -- perhaps along about age 12. Usually along about age 12-14, the abstract thinking and analysis portions of the brain start developing and maturing, and those skills really are needed for understanding how to go about writing a thesis statement.

 

Second, thesis statements look very different depending on what type of essay you are writing. Persuasive essays will have a strong argument for the claim portion of the thesis statement, while the claim portion of an expository essay is more like identifying your particular focus on the overall subject of the essay.

 

Third… sigh…I feel your pain. I am currently teaching this very idea to my Lit. & Comp. students and it is HARD. Again, because different types of essays will have very different looking thesis statements. But even more, because it is hard for younger students or less experienced writers to have the critical thinking skills to be able to develop the thesis statement. Even some of my older high school students struggle with "what is a thesis statement, and how to write one".

 

What I am finding to be somewhat helpful:

 

1. Have the student come up with the body first. So they will have: their main points, specific examples, and the commentary first. Often, after having the body, they see what their "big picture" is to be able to write a thesis statement to fit the body. A lot of time, they begin to see what their idea is from their commentary (the sentences that explain how/why the examples support the main point and tie back in to the overall "big idea" of the essay).

 

2. Ask a lot of leading/guiding questions to help the student figure out where they are going with the essay, or what is the "so what" or big idea of the essay.

 

3. Help them see that there are 3 parts to a thesis statement:

a. topic (the overall subject)

b. your claim (position, opinion, stand, judgment, argument, etc. about the topic)

c. direction (the main points you will cover, or, the general overview of where the body will go)

 

Sometimes all three parts fit into one sentence. Other times, the topic and claim fit in one sentence and the direction fits in a second sentence immediately following. Most of the time they get the topic, and usually the direction. What's usually missing is the claim -- their big idea about the topic -- often they are just restating the topic without any actual position, stand, or argument on the topic.

 

4. Here are some links to quick tips and examples that may be helpful:

- "how to write a thesis statement" from Wiki How -- several specific tips

- Center for Writing Studies, IL: Writing Tips -- examples of weak and strong thesis statements

- Writing Center, University of IN: Thesis Statements -- shows how to develop a specific one, starting with a general subject

- Writing Center, Evansville: Thesis Statements -- nice, specific tips, AND description of different types for the different types of essays

- Time4Writing: Writing the Thesis Statement -- click on #1 "View the Presentation" for a 10-slide step-by-step tutorial on the three parts needed for a thesis statement

 

 

Mostly, I'm seeing it takes time, patience, and lots of practice to write good thesis statements. Persuasive essays are often the easiest to write thesis statements for, as students often have strong opinions or stands on controversial and political topics. You might start with once a week, at the same time, you each write a timed essay from a past SAT essay prompt question, and then discussing what works/doesn't work in each other's essays. :) BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

Edited by Lori D.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Briefly:

 

First, I wouldn't necessarily teach "the 5 paragraph essay", but rather, would teach how to write a solid essay, whether that is accomplished in 2 paragraphs or 20, or something in between. :) Teaching that 5 paragraphs is somehow the standard can set the student up for potentially developing poor writing habits by feeling they must stretch weak material to fill, or chop a strong/complex essay to fit, an arbitrary 5 paragraphs. JMO! :)

 

Also, how old is your DS? If elementary age, then I would relax and work on this concept in a few years. JMO, but a student really needs to have moved solidly into the Logic Stage to begin to be able to do this concept -- perhaps along about age 12. Usually along about age 12-14, the abstract thinking and analysis portions of the brain start developing and maturing, and those skills really are needed for understanding how to go about writing a thesis statement.

 

Second, thesis statements look very different depending on what type of essay you are writing. Persuasive essays will have a strong argument for the claim portion of the thesis statement, while the claim portion of an expository essay is more like identifying your particular focus on the overall subject of the essay.

 

Third… sigh…I feel your pain. I am currently teaching this very idea to my Lit. & Comp. students and it is HARD. Again, because different types of essays will have very different looking thesis statements. But even more, because it is hard for younger students or less experienced writers to have the critical thinking skills to be able to develop the thesis statement. Even some of my older high school students struggle with "what is a thesis statement, and how to write one".

 

What I am finding to be somewhat helpful:

 

1. Have the student come up with the body first. So they will have: their main points, specific examples, and the commentary first. Often, after having the body, they see what their "big picture" is to be able to write a thesis statement to fit the body. A lot of time, they begin to see what their idea is from their commentary (the sentences that explain how/why the examples support the main point and tie back in to the overall "big idea" of the essay).

 

2. Ask a lot of leading/guiding questions to help the student figure out where they are going with the essay, or what is the "so what" or big idea of the essay.

 

3. Help them see that there are 3 parts to a thesis statement:

a. topic (the overall subject)

b. your claim (position, opinion, stand, judgment, argument, etc. about the topic)

c. direction (the main points you will cover, or, the general overview of where the body will go)

 

Sometimes all three parts fit into one sentence. Other times, the topic and claim fit in one sentence and the direction fits in a second sentence immediately following. Most of the time they get the topic, and usually the direction. What's usually missing is the claim -- their big idea about the topic -- often they are just restating the topic without any actual position, stand, or argument on the topic.

 

4. Here are some links to quick tips and examples that may be helpful:

- "how to write a thesis statement" from Wiki How -- several specific tips

- Center for Writing Studies, IL: Writing Tips -- examples of weak and strong thesis statements

- Writing Center, University of IN: Thesis Statements -- shows how to develop a specific one, starting with a general subject

- Writing Center, Evansville: Thesis Statements -- nice, specific tips, AND description of different types for the different types of essays

- Time4Writing: Writing the Thesis Statement -- click on #1 "View the Presentation" for a 10-slide step-by-step tutorial on the three parts needed for a thesis statement

 

 

Mostly, I'm seeing it takes time, patience, and lots of practice to write good thesis statements. Persuasive essays are often the easiest to write thesis statements for, as students often have strong opinions or stands on controversial and political topics. You might start with once a week, at the same time, you each write a timed essay from a past SAT essay prompt question, and then discussing what works/doesn't work in each other's essays. :) BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

 

Lori D. I definitely agree that DS doesn't need to be confined by 5 paragraphs, but I don't want him reading 10 page long essays because he has a hard time deciding on just exactly what it is he wants to include. I also understand that a thesis statement will look very different depending on what type of essay he's writing, so we'll focus on a persuasive essay at first and reading several of those that are well written and on the shorter side (if I can find some).

 

DS is 14 and a freshman. I'm thinking about taking an extra year for high school in order to get the writing down a little better seeing as writing is going to be required across the board now. He really hasn't done very much writing. Totally my fault. Ugh! He does well with discussions and is observant for his age...just need to work on communicating on paper.

 

Going back to some very basics and being sure he works on the main points of the body of his paper before coming up with a thesis.

 

Thanks so very much for your input!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you looked at Writing with a Thesis? I also have a collection of essays I like for middle school age called "Breakfast on Mars". The essays in the book don't follow a typical structure, so may or may not be useful for what you want right now.

 

Just ran across this and thinking of purchasing it. I've never seen Breakfast on Mars, I'll have to look into that.

 

Thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just ran across this and thinking of purchasing it. I've never seen Breakfast on Mars, I'll have to look into that.

 

Thanks!

 

WWaT is a fantastic book, and we're really enjoying using it. The sample essays are great, but might not be exactly what you are looking for - there is one student essay in each chapter, with the thesis and an outline clearly presented, so you could have you kid read the essay and make an attempt to articulate the thesis and outline the essay. That might help with seeing the structure.  But the rest of the sample essays are professional essays. They are fantastic, very inspiring, but definitely longer and not the super clear, 5-paragraph style model.  Breakfast on Mars is similar - well written, high interest essays that show kids how professional writers actually write, but they aren't at all formulaic.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

...I definitely agree that DS doesn't need to be confined by 5 paragraphs, but I don't want him reading 10 page long essays because he has a hard time deciding on just exactly what it is he wants to include. I also understand that a thesis statement will look very different depending on what type of essay he's writing...

 

Ah-ha! I see now. :) Alas, I don't think I've seen something like that; the only student examples I've seen tend to be those embedded in writing programs as single examples for the specific assignments in the program...

 

You might also want to post this question on the High School Board, as more moms with high schoolers (or graduates!) post over there rather than on the K-8 Board. :)

 

 

DS is 14 and a freshman. I'm thinking about taking an extra year for high school in order to get the writing down a little better seeing as writing is going to be required across the board now. He really hasn't done very much writing. Totally my fault. Ugh! He does well with discussions and is observant for his age...just need to work on communicating on paper.

 

JMO, but I would be very hesitant about taking an extra year JUST to nail writing. The good news is that there is a huge difference between a 14yo and a 17yo's writing abilities -- you're going to see a lot of changes, growth, and maturity in all areas for your DS in the next few years. :) And rather than hold him back, perhaps next year, you might look into a tutor who specializes in writing, or outsourcing with a really good writing class, such as Laurel Tree Tutorials, Brave Writer, or others that have been used/recommended by WTMers.

 

Again, JMO, but I would only consider an extra year of high school if there were MULTIPLE extenuating circumstances: behind in most subjects and emotionally/physically immature; long-term recovery from illness/injury; learning disabilities; taking a year out for an amazing opportunity for travel or other option, etc.

 

Instead, you might start this year by gently raising the required amount of writing output by writing more single paragraphs -- say, one a day, so 5 paragraphs a week, each on for different subjects, to get very comfortable with a solid paragraph. And depending on the type of paragraph, that may only be 3 sentences, more typically about 5-6 sentences, and occasionally as many as 8-10 sentences. That's not too overwhelming as a daily amount of writing; it would likely take no more than 20-30 minutes! :) Examples:

 

- an expository paragraph on a topic or person learned about in History that day

- an expository paragraph on a topic/process learned in Science that week, or a paragraph for the lab report

- a persuasive paragraph arguing a point of view from a prompt question

- a "literary analysis" type of paragraph answering a discussion question on the Literature

- a compare/contrast paragraph

- a definition paragraph

- a process paragraph (explaining how to do something or directions to somewhere)

- a journaling or "free writing" paragraph on topic of choice (or from a topic prompt)

- a short news article on an event that happened to someone in the family that week

 

And for some interest, variety and to practice other useful types of writing, mix in the occasional:

- writing for an oral presentation

- a blog entry

- business letter (cover letter, query, request, recommendation, complaint, etc.)

- descriptive or narrative paragraph to hone skills in details, word choice, painting a picture, etc.

- creative writing of some sort (if DS is interested in that type of writing)

 

And then towards the end of the spring semester, start taking a full week to write one longer (multi-paragraph) essay, with each day working on a different part of the process:

 

day 1 = brainstorm ideas, organize into an outline or organized structure of some sort

day 2-3 = rough draft from the outline

day 4 = revision (add/subtract/change)

day 5 = proof-editing/print final version

 

Here's a free source for prompts of various types: 501 Writing Prompts.

 

 

Going back to some very basics and being sure he works on the main points of the body of his paper before coming up with a thesis.

 

That's a good idea. :) The free series of instructional articles at either of these websites might be of help in "getting back to basics": ABCs of the Writing Process, or, Principles of Composition.

 

It may also take some time and experimenting to figure out how your DS thinks/writes. I've found that in my Lit. & Comp. co-op classes, the students have a very wide range of how they think, organize, and write. Some do great with traditional outlines (the Roman numerals, etc.); some need to brainstorm and sketch out ideas with mind maps or other graphic organizers; and some actually have to *write* to start figuring out what they are thinking and are trying to say.

 

Also, are you having DS do most of the writing process by typing it up? That makes it SOOO much easier and less "mental pain and anguish" (lol) for adding to it, moving things around, revising, and then proofing. About the only part that may work better with pencil/paper or on a whiteboard is the brainstorming and organizing -- and even then, adding numbers, circles, arrows, crossing out, etc. can make it much easier for organizing the ideas into a sort of outline rather than having to laboriously re-write everything by hand. :) I found that my DSs had more output with a lot more ease when we totally switched over to typing (other than the initial brainstorming on the whiteboard).

 

I feel your pain -- I have 2 DSs who disliked writing -- an average writer, and a struggling writer (mild LDs in writing and spelling). Eventually we got there, although it wasn't until about 10th-11th grade for the one DS, and about 12th-1st year of college for the other. Everyone has their own unique timetable for when these things "click".

 

What helped a lot for us was the once a week timed essay, all doing it together and then "workshopping" them. We started small and short and over about 2 years worked our way up in length of time and length of essay, esp. focusing on one aspect of the essay each time we moved up. I am copy-pasting below what we did from a past post, in case it is of any help -- the red type is what was new/added/different for each new level. :)

 

Gentle perseverance, keep at it, and good luck! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

 

Level A

10 minutes of time

- 1 paragraph at least 5 sentences long

- with an introductory sentence which introduces the topic (this is the topic sentence)

- at least 3 "body" sentences that are specific details, facts, examples quotations, etc., and support the topic sentence/contention

- and a solid concluding 1-2 sentences (restatement of the topic sentence, very brief/general summary of main supporting points)

 

Level B

15 minutes of time

- 1 longer overall paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences long, or 2 paragraphs

add a "hook" in the introduction, which will now be 2-3 sentences (the hook grabs the reader's attention -- fascinating fact, quotation, a very brief anecdote, a question, bold/shocking statement, an analogy or definition…)

- a topic sentence/contention (can be in the same sentence with the "hook")

- the body sentences all support the topic sentence (specific details, facts, examples, quotations, etc.)

- and a solid concluding 1-2 sentences

 

Level C

20 minutes of time

3 paragraphs

- 1.) intro paragraph -- can be short (2-3 sentences); still must have a hook and topic sentence/contention

- 2.) body paragraph sentences must all support the topic sentence/contention, and must have specific supports (details, facts, examples, quotations, etc.), all supporting the topic sentence/contention

add a sentence in the introduction that summaries the 2-4 major details that will be fleshed out in the body that support the topic sentence

- the body sentences all support the topic sentence (specific details, facts, examples, quotations, etc.)

add transitions between paragraphs -- usually the first sentence of the new paragraph -- to smooth the writing and add style and continuity or contrast

- 3.) concluding paragraph: 2-3 sentences (restatement of the topic sentence, very brief/general summary of main supporting points)

 

Level D

Same as C above, but now must add a "clincher" sentence, an additional "extra", to the concluding paragraph -- not just a restatement of the opening sentences and a summary of main supporting points -- add a thought, "reason why", "what this leads to" -- this is something out of the student's own thoughts and reasoning. The "clincher" answers the question asked in the hook or completes the anecdote, description, or definition started in the hook; ends with a warning or call for action; asks a final rhetorical question; suggests results or consequences; a notable quotation; universalizes (compares to other situations)...

 

Level E

25 minutes of time

strive for 5 paragraphs

- 1.) intro paragraph: hook, topic sentence/contention, sentence summarizing the 2-4 major details of support

- 2.) 3.) 4.) body paragraphs each is a complete paragraph of 1 of 3 specific areas of support; all details support the topic sentence/contention (this is where different students can accomplish different goals -- slow/struggling writers, maybe 1 solid body paragraphs with 3 supports, with one sentence of explanation)

add a sentence of commentary or explanation for each supporting detail, which explains WHY or HOW the supporting fact, detail, example, or quotation proves or supports the topic sentence/contention

- use transition sentences -- usually the first sentence of the new paragraph, but can also be the last sentence of the previous paragraph

- 5.) concluding paragraph which sums up the essay, plus adds a little "extra" from the students own thoughts

 

Level F

Like E above, but must also finish 2-4 minutes before the time is up for quick proofing of the essay for typos, capitalization, punctuation, run-on sentences, forgotten word, etc. NOTE: Be sure to make any corrections by just crossing out and writing above -- erasing and rewriting turns it into a black smudge, as the essay readers are given a copy, not the original, and erasures turn out black on the copies.

Edited by Lori D.
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This year I am using Writing with a Thesis which is good. That may be helpful for you.

 

Look at Maxwell's Writing in English. It is an old book and a free download if you google it. This course has the highest quality writing as examples that I have seen in any writing program. That book may be what you are looking for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This year I am using Writing with a Thesis which is good. That may be helpful for you.

 

Look at Maxwell's Writing in English. It is an old book and a free download if you google it. This course has the highest quality writing as examples that I have seen in any writing program. That book may be what you are looking for.

 

 I pulled up Maxwell's Writing in English and DS likes it very much. He's the type that is into books written in 1900.  ; ) Thanks for the tip.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...