Keeping littles busy is back-firing

[4KookieKids]

So I now have a variety of activities for my 2 year olds and occasionally 4 year old to do while I spend a minimal amount of time homeschooling my 6 yo. Seriously, he could be done in 30 minutes, and it'd be perfect. Except that he gets incredibly jealous of the younger kiddos while they get to "play". Any great ideas on helping him stay focused or is it just a "learn to deal with it" sort of thing?

[Jean in Newcastle]

"As soon as you are done, you get to play too!"  

 

But really, work for a six year old can be made to be all play.  

[rochenan]

We run into this too. I found that if they all start school together by doing coloring or painting, blocks or c-rods first there is a smoother transition for my 6 year old. So for example, we all start with a morning prayer, than color a picture for school and let the younger kids color than my 6 year old already has his pencil box open and we move on to his schoolwork. I also have my 4 year old tag a long for science and history of he wants. Otherwise my four year old will set up a show for the three year old and 1 year old. My 4 year old can also do an educational game one the computer with the 1 year old in the crib next to him. Then my three year old can play alone for awhile. The less my 6 year old sees the other kids the better.

[HomeAgain]

We do 10 minute lessons.  I set the timer, when it's up, it's up, but I require concentration for 10 minutes, a perfectly acceptable amount of time for a lesson.  Does that mean we stick to it?  No.  The more inviting I make the lesson, the longer he wants to work (and the others join in).  But that is my threshold, and he picks any time after that to quit.

[Guest]

Build playtime before schoolwork into his routine. Also, call story time for the littler ones "school" and tell him he can play while they have their school, too.

 

So like... after breakfast, 6 y/o gets to do special activity that the other kids get while he does school.

Then, it's 6 y/o school and the Littler ones get to do the special activities.

Then, it's "school time" for the littles (read a book/color) and 6 y/o gets to play again.

Then for the rest of the day they have to play co-operatively or separately, but it's nothing special.

 

 

My younger child wasn't ready for real school a full two years after his big brother and this is what I did. I didn't do it to appease anyone, per se, but rather to protect their brotherly relationship, ykwim?  It also lends a seriousness the school that I like. It sets the tone of respecting everyone else's school time.

[barnwife]

Well, I have a 5 yo, 3 yo, and 2 yo. I have just accepted that for the time being if I want to do any school (we don't really do anything formal yet), it will involve the younger two. I need to have something related to what the 5 yo is doing for them. So if J. is doing math (we plan to use Miquon, so currently this involves free play with c-rods), they do the same. In other words, I fully expect them to want to tag along for everything.

If we are discussing rhyming words, syllables, whatever for language/phonics time, they are involved.

This "give the littles something else to do" would just not work here. They would just continually come back to do school too.

I actually told J. (the oldest) that we would officially start K after Christmas. The 3 yo heard and declared, "Me too!" I smiled and said "Sounds good," (FWIW, she's just as ready, if not more for K work than our oldest.)
 

[ElizaG]

It depends on what you mean by "activities."  

 

During school time, my little ones can draw or color at the table, or play with regular toys in the next room.   With that sort of thing going on, I'd just tell the six year old that he has to finish his work, and he can play later. 

 

OTOH, if they were playing with something a bit special, like manipulatives or play-dough, I'd let him do the activity before school started, as a PP suggested.  And if there were no choice but to have them play in the same room where we were working, I'd make sure they weren't talking loudly about it.   I tend to find them distracting myself; I can only imagine it would be more trying for a six year old.   :001_smile:

[Starr]

Being a first born myself I wasn't so sympathetic. At a certain age school starts. You do it. I do find it impressive how you keep several littles occupied though. If it was a big problem I would do school while the others had quiet/nap time.

[abba12]

I tell my eldest that their activities are their school. My almost 3yo 'does school' by putting stickers in her sticker book, and doing a tracing book and cutting book from kumon. Keeps her desire to 'do school' at bay, and makes eldest feel like she isn't being singled out to work while everyone else has fun (both kids are quite understanding that baby gets to play while they work, they understand that is different). When the time comes I intend to give the baby similar sticker/tracing/cutting books while DD2 does school, and at that point DD1 will be working longer than both of them, but also hopefully have the maturity to understand why. 

 

Also, I don't give special activities during school. I will give set activities, like a puzzle or colouring or playing with the math manipulatives, but I don't give them specials like playdough or stored-away toys, because I could totally understand the jealousy in that case, the child wants to play with that specific item too and wont get to. 

[Coco_Clark]

I'd suggest trying to reframe the 6yo's "school time" into play time WITH mom. There is very little kindergarten that can't be made into a game.

 

And yes, make sure he has time with the same materials as his siblings after his lessons.

 

The jealousies in our house go the other way. You will never make them all happy ;)

[Mommy to monkeys]

Being a first born myself I wasn't so sympathetic. At a certain age school starts. You do it. I do find it impressive how you keep several littles occupied though. If it was a big problem I would do school while the others had quiet/nap time.

I'm the youngest of my family, but I'm still not particularly sympathetic to the child who'd rather play than work. You're saying you want 30 good minutes? That is definitely NOT too much to ask. I have been in that position on a many occasions (see my siggy) and I've handled it in one of two ways depending on the situation.

 

1-Tell the child to that they can't play till the work is done. No excuses. The more you pout, the longer it will be till you can play. I've had less complaining from my 7 year old now that he has a checklist of what exactly he needs to do before he can play. 

 

OR

 

2-Use naptime. If your younger kids nap/rest, the 30 minutes of seat work with your older child may seem more special. Granted, you have a limited window for the grades in which you can accomplish all your classwork during naptime, but still...it's a valid option for the sake of your sanity. I still like to do as much as humanly possible with my older kids while my toddlers nap/rest/bounce off the walls in their rooms.

[Rachel]

I had posted a reply yesterday but it seems to be missing :(

 

Something I found helpful to teach my son how to stay focused was to set out 5-10 small treats (chocolate chips, marshmallows, Skittles, etc). However many remained at the end of school time my son could eat. If he lost focus, he lost a treat. He quickly caught on and no longer needed treats while he did schoolwork.

 

Often when he keeps losing focus he needs to move around. I will send him to get something downstairs or we do jumping jacks. It's gotten to where he will ask if he can do jumping jacks as he's losing focus.

 

He is now a 2nd grader and usually stays focused for his entire school time regardless of what his younger siblings are doing so it does get better.