DaisyDay Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'm a long-time mostly lurker, hoping to get some advice from anyone who might have BTDT. Our 17 year old adopted son has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and a chromosome abnormality which resulted in severe learning delays. He also has significant medical history. He has been homeschooled since the first grade. He will soon be 18 and he has just started doing 7th grade work. This is a great kid on every level, high functioning but definitely not able to make his way in the world, at least not right now. We have an appointment with the Social Security office to discuss possible disability assistance and extension of his Medicaid benefits. My question involves his education. Clearly, I can't keep him in school until he's 23, plowing through high school classes that he likely will never grasp. He could probably get a job at a basic level--he's a hard worker--but most employers will ask if he's a high school graduate. He has a specific career in mind that will require some college classes but again, obviously, college will also require a high school diploma with a transcript. It pains me that he doesn't understand that if he can't do high school, he surely can't do college. I can't in good faith issue a high school diploma to a kid who's still doing 7th grade work. What do I do with him? Coach him through a GED? Fake a diploma so he can work? He took a Stanford Achievement Test this past summer and tested solidly at the 6th grade level. This kiddo looks and acts normal and many folks are not even aware of his intellectual problems. Anyone? TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 A friend of mine had her son do a Good Will work training program. From that he got placed in a job that suited him (though not necessarily what he had hoped to do) working at a supermarket. The issue of high school graduate was superseded by the job training program and the help it gave with work placement. He was able to work while still living at home because he is not able to be on his own, though they are now working on his living skills for after they are dead and he is presumably still alive. I also have a friend with a sister who is profoundly ... not sure current pc term, but what used to be referred to as "retarded"--something like 2nd grade level abilities. I am sure she could not possibly have passed HS or a GED, but she did/does work as some sort of helper in an old age home, I believe. I again think the job came via job training programs rather than a standard go to high school, go to college, write a resume, etc. type path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 If he were in public school, he would stay in school until he's 22, I think it is. From 18-22 he would do a transition program to get him "life and employment ready". Here in Texas, the Department of Rehabilitation Services will train special needs adults for jobs. I plan to put my son in their services at 18, possibly before. Also, I'm probably not going to issue a diploma for him as I did with my others. I'm thinking perhaps a certificate of completion instead. But I'm not sure yet. I need to investigate the ramifications of that decision more thoroughly first. The Department of Rehabilitation Services is something I've heard about, too. My understanding is that anyone with a disability can register with them and that they will enable you to get free testing, job training, and job hunting assistance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thank you for the replies. I noticed no one so far has mentioned Job Corps. Does anyone have any experience with them? I think the child has to leave home and live on their campus or whatever in order to participate. So that's a pretty big negative for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 OP, what does your son want to do? Does he want to continue trying to get a High School Diploma? Or does he even think along those lines? Maybe he could work part time and still continue with schooling at home for as long as he is interested/willing, if that is a goal he wants to achieve. I had a friend in High School that was 2 grades ahead of me when I started and was still there when I graduated. He probably had LDs but the school wasn't set up for any sort of testing or accommodations. He could have dropped out. He was over 18. He chose to keep trying because it mattered to him. If your son doesn't want to keep trying, or you feel there really isn't a chance he will ever get to that level of academics, does he have any outside interests that you could focus on? Something that might be turned into a job opportunity based on skills he could be honing right now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'd also give your school district a call and find out about their program for adults with disabilities. This varies by state, but I don't think any state's limit is less than 22 yo. In my ISD the program focuses on job skills, community college courses if the student can handle them, life skills and integrating into community based services. Our district's program has a good reputation and not all of them do. It is worth at least exploring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 This seems like it is only our state, but I have heard that it can be good to wait until age 21 or 22 for graduation. If you have a diploma, you may not qualify for the same job-training programs. Also, you may have an easier time getting a space if you do it as a student. I would check and make sure there are no drawbacks to "early" graduation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alisa in Florida Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Your son sounds a lot like my 17 year old, but mine is in public school. He can stay in high school until he's 22 here. We've looked into various job training programs, including Goodwill and Job Corps, but they all require a high school diploma. Actually, with Job Corp, if you don't have a diploma, they work on getting one, or maybe a GED, but I doubt my son would ever be able to pass the GED test. In school, he has so many accommodations, that I think he will eventually graduate, if I can just convince him to stick it out. He's not disabled enough for most programs, but his FASD and TBI make it unlikely that he's going to function well on his own. Very frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alisa in Florida Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Is his functioning such that it would be beneficial to look into guardianship with an attorney? Or a legal way for you to be involved in his financial and legal affairs in order to guide him and help him not to be taken advantage of? I would also look into what the local school district provides, as others have mentioned. Looking into the SS benefits for disability is a good idea, as well. Good job, mama. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 i would plan to keep him in school at least another year or two. Those with disabilities typically stay in high school until 21 here. At whatever point you choose, you can give him a certificate of completion, rather than a diploma. From there, I would talk to the state Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (you could start that conversation now). They will be able to help with job training and/or placement. It doesn't sound like a job that requires college classes will be an option for him. The GED has gotten harder and if he is testing solidly at 6th grade level, he will not be able to pass it. Instead of teaching high school, you could start working on GED classes specifically and see if he can progress in them, but your odds aren't good there. I would see if he can find something that would be acceptable to him that doesn't require higher education. I would also look into guardianship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I have 3 kids like this. We have guardianship over the older 2 and Power Of Attorney over the younger one (she didn't meet the guidelines for guardianship---which are really strict) I would do a certificate of completion. At least here in Michigan, once they have a diploma, a lot of doors for services are closed. If you have not had any formal testing done, I would do that ASAP. Getting disability can be a long process. Ours went amazingly quick BUT I had ever doctor's report, psychological evals since they were 5, etc. in hand. The more and better your documentation, the easier and faster the process is. I would also contact the schools to see what services they offer. In our area they have a lot of job training, voc. ed classes, etc. and these kids can access services until age 26. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Thank you for the replies. I noticed no one so far has mentioned Job Corps. Does anyone have any experience with them? I think the child has to leave home and live on their campus or whatever in order to participate. So that's a pretty big negative for us. No personal experience, but my impression is that it is geared to low-income (which your family may or may not meet requirements for that) teens to young adults who are generally fairly neurotypical (at least more than the sorts of kids who do rehab job training, Good Will training etc. are) and more ready for vocational/technical jobs than an academic route. To me from what you wrote, it sounds like your ds probably would not be able to handle the rigours of what I know/believe would be typical of job corps training, but maybe check it out too. If you/he qualify and if what he wanted to do thinking toward college was the sort of thing it provides training in, that might be much more something he could do than college. Still, I don't think it is particularly geared to working with people with developmental disabilities. Also you might want to contact senior and disabled services in your area (or whatever your area calls that) and try to talk to a social worker who might know particular programs that are in your area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 OP, what does your son want to do? Very valid question and one that's worth talking through. Our son has a very passive nature and rarely offers opinions or original thoughts or ideas. He pretty much does what he's told, which is where he gets his reputation for being such a great kid. He never rebels or gets angry, even when he should be! It's also why we are so concerned about him venturing out on his own--it makes him very vulnerable. I guess what I'm saying is that we can go over his options (after we research what the local High School, Social Security, Dept of Rehab Services and maybe Job Corps have to offer) but ultimately he'll go along with whatever we think is best. Lots of excellent advice here and it seems streamlined toward the Services mentioned above. Great advice about holding off on issuing a diploma and giving a certificate of completion instead. I had never thought it would matter. Regarding Guardianship, sometime last year, I became concerned that once our son turned 18, I would no longer be consulted or able to make decisions involving his healthcare. This is a VERY big deal because he would not understand things like risks, benefits and consents and he will likely need surgery again in the future. (He's already had 6. Can't share too much for privacy reasons.) I was advised by his neurologist that, as long as he can say, "Ask my mom" that legal guardianship would not be necessary for son's medical care. Now, when it comes to other legal contracts, car loans, etc., that may be another story. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Regarding Guardianship, sometime last year, I became concerned that once our son turned 18, I would no longer be consulted or able to make decisions involving his healthcare. This is a VERY big deal because he would not understand things like risks, benefits and consents and he will likely need surgery again in the future. (He's already had 6. Can't share too much for privacy reasons.) I was advised by his neurologist that, as long as he can say, "Ask my mom" that legal guardianship would not be necessary for son's medical care. Now, when it comes to other legal contracts, car loans, etc., that may be another story. I agree and don't agree. Yes, he could give verbal consent but if for any reason he couldn't give verbal consent you might have more trouble. I have guardianship of 2 of mine and still struggle reminding everyone to check the file so that they will give me test results, let me make appointments, etc. This would require your ds to be more involved as he would have to initiate the appointments, make the initial calls (or have you do it with him right there to give consent), etc. For our one that has an IQ too high for guardianship we went with full power of attorney. It cost us lawyer fees but it is helpful. Your ds will also have to sign all his hippa forms, be listed for billing, etc. unless you have proper documentation. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I'm a long-time mostly lurker, hoping to get some advice from anyone who might have BTDT. Our 17 year old adopted son has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and a chromosome abnormality which resulted in severe learning delays. He also has significant medical history. He has been homeschooled since the first grade. He will soon be 18 and he has just started doing 7th grade work. This is a great kid on every level, high functioning but definitely not able to make his way in the world, at least not right now. We have an appointment with the Social Security office to discuss possible disability assistance and extension of his Medicaid benefits. My question involves his education. Clearly, I can't keep him in school until he's 23, plowing through high school classes that he likely will never grasp. He could probably get a job at a basic level--he's a hard worker--but most employers will ask if he's a high school graduate. He has a specific career in mind that will require some college classes but again, obviously, college will also require a high school diploma with a transcript. It pains me that he doesn't understand that if he can't do high school, he surely can't do college. I can't in good faith issue a high school diploma to a kid who's still doing 7th grade work. What do I do with him? Coach him through a GED? Fake a diploma so he can work? He took a Stanford Achievement Test this past summer and tested solidly at the 6th grade level. This kiddo looks and acts normal and many folks are not even aware of his intellectual problems. Anyone? TIA. Where I added bold and underline, what career is he hoping for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Where I added bold and underline, what career is he hoping for?He wants to be a chef. Not a short order cook like at Denny's--a chef like you see on those cooking competition shows on TV. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Can he take cooking classes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Can he take cooking classes? Yes, I think he could probably learn a lot from cooking classes like what they offer in continuing education at a community college. However, he's thinking along the lines of culinary school and, while I haven't researched it yet, I'm fairly certain he won't meet their entrance requirements. I'm also considering a possible apprenticeship in a restaurant kitchen somewhere but not sure if that's done much. Ill have to ask around. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Yes, I think he could probably learn a lot from cooking classes like what they offer in continuing education at a community college. However, he's thinking along the lines of culinary school and, while I haven't researched it yet, I'm fairly certain he won't meet their entrance requirements. I'm also considering a possible apprenticeship in a restaurant kitchen somewhere but not sure if that's done much. Ill have to ask around. In our area they have a college for special needs students that includes a culinary arts program. It might not be chef level but it is in the area my daughter is interested in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 He wants to be a chef. Not a short order cook like at Denny's--a chef like you see on those cooking competition shows on TV. That may be doable, at least if he can accept something short of head chef at a top restaurant. Does he cook at home currently? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Is his functioning such that it would be beneficial to look into guardianship with an attorney? Or a legal way for you to be involved in his financial and legal affairs in order to guide him and help him not to be taken advantage of? I would also look into what the local school district provides, as others have mentioned. Looking into the SS benefits for disability is a good idea, as well. Good job, mama. :) Must be the social worker in us, LOL, but I was going to mention this, too. Friends of ours recently went through a court procedure to gain legal guardianship of their Downs son, just after he turned 18. They were surprised to have to appear before a judge in a courtroom, but said it was friendly and informal otherwise. Legal guardianship is only one aspect of what the OP is asking, but an important one all the same. Before having kids, I was a job coach with DD adults, many quite high functioning, but able to qualify for a job training program. If I were the OP, I'd look into local options for those. What you want is to research "Job training for adults with developmental disabilities" for your area. HTH. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Does he cook at home currently? Yes, he has several favorite dishes he prepares well, and I hate to cook. That's why I told him he could never ever leave home! :-D We have our appointment at the SS office tomorrow. I'll share what we find out when I can get on some computer besides this Kindle. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 DaisyDay, maybe you have done this already, but check out what your community college has to offer. If he could get into some of the culinary classes as a dual enrolled student while still technically a high schooler, it might work for you. Also, does your high school have a vocational program that includes culinary arts? You might check at the school to see if he could qualify for enrollment. Most likely he would need an IEP and have to be on a kind of non-traditional not-graduating-at-age-18 track, but it might be something that would be possible. I'd definitely check out what the public school can offer him. One more comment about community college culinary arts programs. Some of them might be very good. There is a guy in our area who went to culinary school at the CC instead of going to a traditional culinary program, and I read a quote from him that said that the training there was just as good. He's a big success and has been featured on Food Network shows, etc. I'm sure that the community college programs vary, but you might find something that would work for him. In the meantime, while figuring this out, I'd suggest enrolling him in a cooking class somewhere (often offered through Parks and Rec or even cooking supply stores) to see how he does in a kind of structured cooking class. Working in a kitchen as a chef is very high stress and requires attending to a lot of detail very quickly. I think it's a great alternative career for many, but for others the environment just wouldn't work. If he takes some outside classes before making a big commitment to a training program, it might give all of you an idea about whether this is something that would work for him. Ottakee, that culinary program for SN kids sounds awesome! ETA: I think if you found a kind of apprenticeship program for him with a restaurant, that could be great, but I don't think you can start there. I think he would have to have some evidence of aptitude before they would take him on, so an outside class might help with that, too. If he takes a recreational class and does well, I'd ask the teacher to write a letter of recommendation that you could use while applying for future opportunities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 This might not be helpful at all, but I've been thinking about the culinary thing a bit, because DS11 has always been interested in food and cooking. However, he is not great at it. I mean, he has trouble making peanut butter and jelly, due to fine motor issues and organizational skills. I've been trying to think ahead a bit about him, to figure out what he might be able to do as a career, because I think he will need vocational training in high school. We've got a ways to go before we get there, but I'm a long-range planner/thinker. Anyway, I was standing in line the other day, waiting to pick up some pizzas, and I could see into the kitchen where they were making them. And it occurred to me that pizza-making might be a great possibility for someone like DS, because he would get to work in a kitchen but focus on one main thing -- making pizzas -- instead of having to try to manage a ton of different dishes all at once. Working at a pizza shop might be a good stepping stone for someone with SN who wants a culinary career, because it offers a specific and structured activity but gives experience working in a commercial kitchen. You could then move on to something else in the future if desired, but would have some experience to build on. I worked at Pizza Hut for a time while in college, and there were high school and college kids making the pizzas. It might be a way to get a foot in the door to apply at pizza shops. You may need to be 18 to work the ovens and pizza dough mixers. Just an idea I had in mind for DS that I thought I'd pass on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Anyway, I was standing in line the other day, waiting to pick up some pizzas, and I could see into the kitchen where they were making them. And it occurred to me that pizza-making might be a great possibility for someone like DS, because he would get to work in a kitchen but focus on one main thing -- making pizzas -- instead of having to try to manage a ton of different dishes all at once. Working at a pizza shop might be a good stepping stone for someone with SN who wants a culinary career, because it offers a specific and structured activity but gives experience working in a commercial kitchen. You could then move on to something else in the future if desired, but would have some experience to build on. This is a great idea. I mean, you have to start somewhere, right? It could be a source of experience to help him get a job at a nicer restaurant later on. I've gotten so many great ideas and so much good information on this thread that I've had to start taking notes. There are lots more options available for our son than we realized. Now I've got to get busy researching! Oh, I almost forgot--we had our appointment with the SS office today. They called as we were walking out the door and said they could do it over the phone. The lady was very nice and helped us get the application for a disabled adult filled out but the conversation wasn't particularly informative. I had lots of questions and she answered some but mostly her job was to get the application filled out. She's sending some info in the mail. We need to sign some stuff and return it. That's it for now. Thanks everyone! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 On the disability thing, I would collect any recent (and even not so recent) school testing, IQ tests, medical reports, etc. The more paperwork and documentation you can flood SSI with the more likely you are to be approved and quickly. I got one child approved in under a week as I had tests from the time he was 5 to 18, medical records, etc. all in order ahead of time and they didn't have to request them, wait for the doctors, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 There are also some culinary related areas like pastry making and cake decorating that may be less stressed for time, since there may not be a customer waiting hungrily for the item to be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I think there is a famous buddhist monastery/cooking school in California that might be more open about accepting people in apprentice roles, without whatever standard cooking schools require. Maybe at first as a family trip to do a class there together. Take a look at the film called How to Cook Your Life, something like that, which shows this school and its master chef/Zen monk. Even if the school is not an option, the film could be interesting for him. There is also a Great Courses cooking class with a culinary school chef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyDay Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 On the disability thing, I would collect any recent (and even not so recent) school testing, IQ tests, medical reports, etc. The more paperwork and documentation you can flood SSI with the more likely you are to be approved and quickly. I got one child approved in under a week as I had tests from the time he was 5 to 18, medical records, etc. all in order ahead of time and they didn't have to request them, wait for the doctors, etc. I had all that stuff ready to go--about 2 whole reams of paper. But then we ended up doing the application process over the phone so I guess they'll request it from the doctors and the hospital. I have some other non-medical papers (standardized test results) that she said I could enclose with the forms we need to sign and return. I also have one of the birth mother's medical records stating that she admitted to alcohol use for 5 mos of the 7 month pregnancy and a letter from the geneticist explaining ds's chromosomal abnormality and how it affects him. The problem with FASD is that the child can actually have a normal IQ score and be high functioning in some areas, and have major deficits in others. I hope the evaluators understand the nature of the disability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 The problem with FASD is that the child can actually have a normal IQ score and be high functioning in some areas, and have major deficits in others. I hope the evaluators understand the nature of the disability. I totally get it My 27 year old.son has FASD. He though had an IQ in the mid 50s. He though is awesome at some things. The other day we were helping a friend set up her new horse fencing and he was doing the wiring. A neighbor who didn't know him came over and asked if he was an electrician..... I thought..NOPE....he can't even add past the number of fingers he has....but he sure can wire an electric fence and get the battery set up to keep it hot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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