How's this?

[ikuradesuka]

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Edited February 10, 2017 by ikuradesuka

[Chrysalis Academy]

I'm not quite sure exactly what your question is.. Are you wondering what issues should be addressed via instruction? Trying to make a plan for beginning writing instruction? Wanting a comparison to the writing of other 10 year olds? Or something else?

 

For someone with zero writing instruction, she's picked up a lot of the rules of English grammar via reading or something, and that's great. Her spelling is pretty good, her sentences are grammatical, she uses most conventions correctly. There are small issues to address,  I think it's a tough assignment for a 10 year old, out of the blue. If it were me, I'd be focusing on the ability to do basic narration, descriptive, and how-to type writing at this point, and teaching her how to organize a paragraph with a topic sentence and supporting points.  She mixes up a couple of different topics in her piece, it could be split into a couple of different paragraphs and each developed to answer the question more fully.  But again, was the goal to see if she could write an essay on this topic? Or was it treated more like a test question? The assignment to "write about" something is kind of vague for a 10 year old, hard to pin down, so it wouldn't be surprising that she wouldn't have a perfectly organized multi-paragraph response.

 

She looks like a kid who has a good grasp of English and is ready to be taught academic writing!  Not a bad place to start.

[ikuradesuka]

Sorry, I guess I could have been more clear, but your answer was great!  I just wanted to hear whatever thoughts people had because I feel sort of lost in this area.  I just wanted to see what would happen if I just tossed something at her.  We do need to start...something...more formal, but I'm struggling to nail down what.   Thanks for your comments!