Jess4879 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 When we first started homeschooling we received a ton - and I mean a ton - of not-so-kind remarks. Over the years the remarks have dwindled, but it feels like they've peaked again this past week. I'm the only one of our friends/family that homeschools, I get that, it's new for them, but I am so sick of it. This week alone I've heard: "You homeschool, but your kids are still normal. That's cool." ??!! "Did you know that you are in the district to attend such and such school? It's a really good school. Did you want the number?" (like clearly I homeschool because I am too stupid to look up the phone number of my local public school) "You should meet so-and-so. She's a real teacher and would probably have some good advice." In response to being told we homeschool "Oh, it must be nice to play all day!" *eye roll* "When do you think you'll put the kids in real school?" Normally I can just let things roll off my back, but today I am just tired of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Vent away! Unsolicited advice is always annoying. You could be annoying back and offer the website of the local homeschool organization. ;) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExcitedMama Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I am sorry! I know what you mean as now that DS is officially K age I'm hearing more of it too. It helps that technically I've enrolled him in a charter school for the free funds to spend so technically I can tell casual acquaintances that he is in a charter school. Your list is great, especially about needing the phone number, I will definitely need to work on pushing homeschooling the way everyone else pushes brick and mortar schooling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clear Creek Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I think a blunt "How stupid do you think I am?" is an appropriate response to most of the questions. But I have had an especially trying week, so maybe not. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 We received a large packet of registration materials from a nearby private school (complete with a follow-up email). The packet is still unopened. :lol: If I hear one more time how great the local parochial schools are I'm going to snap...because religion must be the only reason we are homeschooling. :glare: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 We received a large packet of registration materials from a nearby private school (complete with a follow-up email). The packet is still unopened. :lol: If I hear one more time how great the local parochial schools are I'm going to snap...because religion must be the only reason we are homeschooling. :glare: LOL When we were house shopping I mentioned that I liked a particular room that had wall-to-wall shelving because it was a homeschoolers dream come true and the immediate response? "Oh! You're a Christian." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Have you been working on your RBF? 10 minutes a day. It's habit forming. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 "Why would you say that?" "Why do you ask" "Why would you recommend that?" or simple laughing and saying "We're happy with our educational choices but thanks." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 I used to respond, and sometimes my tongue still gets away on me, but usually I just shrug it off and disengage. I find that the minute I respond it opens it up for more opinions. I was reading through another thread after I posted and got a laugh out of someone's suggestion to turn the remark around, and would like to try that. "Wow, your kids are really normal, considering they are in public school." ;) I would never say it, of course, as my Mother taught me better - but it's ok to think it and privately smile, right?? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I used to respond, and sometimes my tongue still gets away on me, but usually I just shrug it off and disengage. I find that the minute I respond it opens it up for more opinions. I was reading through another thread after I posted and got a laugh out of someone's suggestion to turn the remark around, and would like to try that. "Wow, your kids are really normal, considering they are in public school." ;) I would never say it, of course, as my Mother taught me better - but it's ok to think it and privately smile, right?? You are too nice :) I would probably word it nicely, but what a great response! Probably I'd say something like "I am so concerned about what's going on in public and private schools, I am glad your kids don't seem to be affected by it". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Thankfully I don't have to deal with those much...I mostly get the "I don't know how you do it! That must be so much work"... It's easier to respond to that. In your case I'd just probably say " homeschooling is our lifestyle, we love it and wouldn't change it for anything." Maybe after a million times you say it they might get the message! :) :) I do get often the "what about Socialization?" remark...and finally nailed a response to that..."yeah, definitely worried about Socialization!! The kids want to do so many extra activities with their homeschooled friends that I have to limit it, otherwise we wouldn't get our schooling done." A cashier at Target didn't know how to respond to that a couple nights ago ;) Edited to add: purposely capitalizing the big S word as I call it, since it seems to be such a concern for non homeschooling folks 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 We heard comments a lot in the beginning, when oldest was Pre-K and K age. Everyone around us put their kids in school, so we were definitely strange. Then there was a lull, when people were used to the idea of us homeschooling "for a few years." (Though we never said that was the plan). Last year, when oldest was 4th grade age, we started getting comments again, mostly along the lines of "How long do you plan to do this thing, anyway?" or "Are you still qualified to do this level at home?" I suppose this round of comments might level off when we're further into middle school, then reemerge as we approach high school. We just ignore all of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Have you been working on your RBF? 10 minutes a day. It's habit forming. Tibbie, what is RBF? If you don't tell me, I will not sleep tonight. Respond Before Fighting? Rest. Breathe. Forget-about-it? Reply By Fax? Redefine "Best Friends"? Restraint By Fainting? Really Bad Farts? (definitely habit forming) I give up. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html?_r=0 :D :mellow: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Oh. I could shoot you one of those, any time. I don't need to practice. My RBF clearly says, "I am bored with you, and I won't even stoop to express disdain." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 This is one of those situations where I'm thankful that I suffer from a serious case of Resting Bitch Face. I'm the first in my family and a lot of my social circle to homeschool but I've NEVER had a comment like that. Then again, I've co slept and breastfed all my toddlers and no one said anything about THAT either. Scary face for the win. Im so sorry! I can't imagine. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thankfully I don't have to deal with those much...I mostly get the "I don't know how you do it! That must be so much work"... It's easier to respond to that. In your case I'd just probably say " homeschooling is our lifestyle, we love it and wouldn't change it for anything." Maybe after a million times you say it they might get the message! :) :) I do get often the "what about Socialization?" remark...and finally nailed a response to that..."yeah, definitely worried about Socialization!! The kids want to do so many extra activities with their homeschooled friends that I have to limit it, otherwise we wouldn't get our schooling done." A cashier at Target didn't know how to respond to that a couple nights ago ;) Edited to add: purposely capitalizing the big S word as I call it, since it seems to be such a concern for non homeschooling folks We used to get the Socialization question too when the kids were younger, but they are social little butterflies that talk to absolutely everyone, so now I usually get comments like "do they have friends??" *sigh* Some people will never understand. They will always be of the opinion that if the kids struggle with something it will be because of homeschooling and if they excel at something it will be in spite of homeschooling. And then they'll graduate and life will move on and people will forget I ever homeschooled at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 We heard comments a lot in the beginning, when oldest was Pre-K and K age. Everyone around us put their kids in school, so we were definitely strange. Then there was a lull, when people were used to the idea of us homeschooling "for a few years." (Though we never said that was the plan). Last year, when oldest was 4th grade age, we started getting comments again, mostly along the lines of "How long do you plan to do this thing, anyway?" or "Are you still qualified to do this level at home?" I suppose this round of comments might level off when we're further into middle school, then reemerge as we approach high school. We just ignore all of it. Yes, oldest is in 6th this year, so that could definitely be why there is a recurrence of nay-sayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Above The Rowan Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The judgy comments are annoying. But I'm starting to get MORE annoyed by the questions about how to start or "how did you get the curriculum from the school?" questions. It's really sort of overwhelming to explain to people that we don't answer to the school board, where I go to research curric, and how we choose stuff. My ex husband (who was skeptical about homeschooling at the beginning) emailed me to see if I would mind that he passed my email address to a coworker because they would like info about homeschooling and how to get started. I died a little. I find those convos very exhausting. I will take judgey mcjudgersons any day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 We used to get the Socialization question too when the kids were younger, but they are social little butterflies that talk to absolutely everyone, so now I usually get comments like "do they have friends??" *sigh* Some people will never understand. They will always be of the opinion that if the kids struggle with something it will be because of homeschooling and if they excel at something it will be in spite of homeschooling. And then they'll graduate and life will move on and people will forget I ever homeschooled at all. I'm a public school teacher and socialization was one of the main reasons I decided to homeschool my oldest (I was an assistant then). She's now in 10th grade and after spending the past two years in public charters has decided she doesn't want friends. :( She's back to homeschooling this year. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebrindam Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I have not had a single negative comment. Ever. Weird, right? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 The judgy comments are annoying. But I'm starting to get MORE annoyed by the questions about how to start or "how did you get the curriculum from the school?" questions. It's really sort of overwhelming to explain to people that we don't answer to the school board, where I go to research curric, and how we choose stuff. My ex husband (who was skeptical about homeschooling at the beginning) emailed me to see if I would mind that he passed my email address to a coworker because they would like info about homeschooling and how to get started. I died a little. I find those convos very exhausting. I will take judgey mcjudgersons any day. I don't mind these convo's if someone is seriously interested in homeschooling. I had a time where a lady led me to believe she was interested in homeschooling and so I spent an afternoon going over registration, records, curriculum, etc...and at the end of the day she told me "Yeah, I definitely couldn't do that. What would you recommend to get my kid ahead of his grade though?" Ummm...thanks for wasting my time. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I have not had a single negative comment. Ever. Weird, right? I tend not to get any in public. My RBF must be epic. :D 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebrindam Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I do have RBF. Perhaps it's saving me a lot of trouble and aggravation! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I have a thing I say when people say - "oh? no school today?" NOPE! We homeschool.... sooooo .... you know.... there's no "school" any day, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHaaaaa. Yeah. Or, to the: "oh? you homeschool? Oh, I could never do that!" Yeah. Some can't. It's okay. We can't do public school. But the one that made me angry??? We were on a pleasure river boat cruise thing. My 5yo ds was doing his usually talk the ear off anything that stands still long enough routine to this older woman. She looks over at me and asks... Rude woman: "So, which kindergarten will he be attending?" Me: "Nah. We homeschool. We're doing kindergarten at home." Rude woman: Turns on her heal and walks away. :blink: :angry: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuNaturel Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Schools around here are really bad. Even the private ones. The public school system itself is horrible and underfunded. The best schools nearby are high school not elementary school. If anyone tried to ridicule me about homeschooling, my response would be simple....no thank you! I care about the quality of my children's education. ;) If they want to subtly insult, I will give it back. Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSinNS Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I've only every had one criticism (by a very rude hairdresser who was so nasty to my kid that the other hairdresser in the shop apologized to me as did the manager). Anyway, I didn't take that one too personally. I also must have an RBF, because no one else says anything, ever. Though, the funniest one was when our piano was going out for repairs, the guy asked the kids "why aren't you in school?" and Miss T, bold as brass, looked him in the eye, and said, "we didn't want to go." Shut him up (me too). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 I've only every had one criticism (by a very rude hairdresser who was so nasty to my kid that the other hairdresser in the shop apologized to me as did the manager). Anyway, I didn't take that one too personally. I also must have an RBF, because no one else says anything, ever. Though, the funniest one was when our piano was going out for repairs, the guy asked the kids "why aren't you in school?" and Miss T, bold as brass, looked him in the eye, and said, "we didn't want to go." Shut him up (me too). We were at a gathering once and one of the guests found out we homeschool and proceeded to become quite vocal about how much her daughter loved school and she would never dream of "depriving" her of the experience, etc, etc...and not even fifteen minutes later said daughter is talking with my oldest and loudly declares "Oh man! I wish I could homeschool! I hate school!!" I love when situations like that just take care of themselves. ;) 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I have not had a single negative comment. Ever. Weird, right? Neither have I. But I do think I have a really good RBF. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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