First post. Looking for feedback.

[pinkmint]

Hi there. Not sure if this is where I should put this but here it goes...

 

Basically I need help with staying encouraged about the homeschool life while hovering near the poverty line and having challenging circumstances. Hubby and I both feel strongly about choosing to homeschool our 3 young kids. We are a one income family (husband) and have lived on a low-income our whole married life. We currently live in (rent) a small, ill equipped home in a neighborhood where I do not feel comfortable walking down the street with my children (loitering adults drinking, trash everywhere, dogs running wild etc). If we lived in a decent sized home with adequate outdoor space it would help with the fact that we can't afford things like co-op, field trips, fancy curriculum, extracurricular activities like sports or lessons or whatever. But we are here a lot because it doesn't cost money to be home. 

 

We also have a baby who needs 2 solid naps a day which makes going places extra difficult even when I can come up with a cheap outting. I try to make the best of it. I use Easy Peasy All-in-one, and I try to come up with things for us to do, as well as encouraging the kids to have creative play times. We are trying to come up with ways to improve our situation, but sometimes life gives you hard choices to live with, and things don't always go as planned or hoped for. I do hope things will improve soon, but in the meantime here we are. Homeschooling is important to me. I feel like it's one thing I can do to actually improve my childrens' likelihood of having a better life than their parents (hubby and I have both come from difficult backgrounds as well as struggling to make a normal living now). 

 

I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes though (kids fighting, all of us feeling cooped up etc). The idea of public school sound like a relief sometimes, and certainly it seems like we just can't afford these high ideals of homeschooling, but I do not like the reality of public school at all, especially living in a bad school district. Have you been there? What kept you going? Did things ever change? Were you glad you stuck it out? Am I ruining my kids' lives? How did you stay sane? 

[maize]

Welcome!

 

I'm sorry things are so rough right now.

 

Do you mind sharing which state you live in (if you are in the US)? Some states have virtual charter school programs that offer a lot of the flexibility of independent homeschooling but provide funding that can make a big difference in a tight budget.

[pinkmint]

Welcome!

 

I'm sorry things are so rough right now.

 

Do you mind sharing which state you live in (if you are in the US)? Some states have virtual charter school programs that offer a lot of the flexibility of independent homeschooling but provide funding that can make a big difference in a tight budget.

 

Thank you!

 

I am in the US. I don't know anything about virtual charter schools. That's something to look into. I do know that we aren't allowed to do online public school/ K12 because in our state they require you to have been enrolled in public school previously to qualify. 

[Aiden]

We have at least one board member in a similar situation to you, if I understand correctly. I think his username is Gil. He posts a good bit on the Accelerated Learners board, as his kids are gifted. Maybe if you search for some of his threads, you can get some ideas and encouragement as well.

[maize]

I'm not fond of the k12 charters, which tend to not be very flexible. Some states such as California have lots of virtual charter school options, some have none. Are you connected with your local homeschooling community?

[Jean in Newcastle]

There are many in the same boat as you.  Hunter has a lot of posts on low cost homeschooling.  

 

How old are your children?  My kids are teens now but I've been where you are with the littles plus being cooped up.  We did things like make the couch into a boat, and used boxes to make things like puppet theaters.  There are a lot of free homeschooling materials online.  I know there was a thread very recently on homeschooling on or near the poverty line that had lists of free options.  Are you close enough to a library to utilize their books and services like story time?  Even in some of the sketchy places I've lived, the libraries have felt like pretty safe places to be.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/558120-homeschooling-atnear-the-poverty-line/?hl=+poverty

[Jean in Newcastle]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/560015-librarybookstore-homeschooling/?hl=%2Blibrary+%2Bschool&do=findComment&comment=6525880

[HomeAgain]

I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes though (kids fighting, all of us feeling cooped up etc). The idea of public school sound like a relief sometimes, and certainly it seems like we just can't afford these high ideals of homeschooling, but I do not like the reality of public school at all, especially living in a bad school district. Have you been there? What kept you going? Did things ever change? Were you glad you stuck it out? Am I ruining my kids' lives? How did you stay sane? 

 

Remember the last generation?  The ones hiding because homeschool laws were sketchy?  The lack of co-ops, field trips, conventions...remember how few curricula there was on the market?  Basically if it wasn't A Beka, Bob Jones, or published in 1880, you were out of luck.

 

I find it marvelous that they made it work and paved the way for the current generation to enjoy the fruits of their labor.  That doesn't mean that what is provided now is necessary, it just means that it can be nice to have. :)

 

You're doing it old school. :)  And that is something to be proud of.

[pinkmint]

 

 

You're doing it old school. :)  And that is something to be proud of.

 

LOL I like that. We're kickin' it old school. 

 

That's really what I'm getting at... the mindset. Are we getting too big for our britches thinking homeschool is for us? I mean, we're dealing with cycle-of-poverty stuff. The kind of thing where everyone knows you're "screwed", and the best thing you can do is let your kids go to public school so they can have a break from your dangerous and depressing neighborhood. I just hope for better than that, even though the day to day reality can be very rough. 

[maize]

I don't think that many schools have an advantage over a dedicated parent. 

 

This is a phase, you're in the thick of parenting young children and it is hard, hard, hard. School at this stage really doesn't need to be fancy or complicated; teach reading, writing, and basic math, read aloud, draw pictures together. Do you have a library? Any decent parks that are accessible to you? 

 

The poverty cycle can be broken, and it sounds like you have the will to do it. How tied are you to your current location (city, state?); sometimes there are more opportunities available if you are willing to relocate the family (though that can be hard and expensive to do as well).

[Jean in Newcastle]

I know that Hunter has talked about some of the advantages of schooling with minimal resources.  I cannot recall any key words from that though so I can't do a search for a specific thread.  

 

Education can be key for getting out of poverty.  Many students in financially poor districts are exposed to very poor teaching in the schools.  (I have no idea where you live so I don't know if you are specifically in an area like that or not.)  But it is true that there can be some poorer pockets in some very good districts.  Have you looked up your schools on greatschools.org?  Sometimes poorer students in good districts can get have opportunities for extra curriculars and other things that a financially strapped parent can't provide.  Schools are not always a bad choice.

 

In my case, I felt that I was able to provide well for my kid's education even without a lot of money.  We have used the library as a source for free "living books" (ie. books that spark your imagination) for years.  We have gone to a lot of the free library programs.  We go to free parks programs.  We take advantage of free museum days.  We go to parks and go hiking.  When I do buy books I buy them used 90% of the time.  Thrift stores are my friend.  

 

 

[pinkmint]

Sometimes poorer students in good districts can get have opportunities for extra curriculars and other things that a financially strapped parent can't provide.  Schools are not always a bad choice.

 

I understand that can be true for some people. For us homeschool is a superior choice and it's one of the few superior choices we're able to make. I just don't want to believe that homeschool is not for us because of our circumstances. It can just be really hard. 

[mamiof5]

Welcome! Sorry to hear things are tough. I noticed someone already posted some links...there was a thread about this within the last week. Any libraries nearby? Do you have a computer? Lots of free curriculum online. Also, our district allows participation in sports even if you are homeschooled. Does your district allow this? Is there a way the district could wave the participation fee if you can prove low income? Sorry I can't help much, just a few ideas that came to mind.

[Hobbes]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/558120-homeschooling-atnear-the-poverty-line/?fromsearch=1

 

This was a recent thread on this topic. I was homeschooled by parents who spent several years below the poverty line and it was a rich, fulfilling, effective education. I wish you the best in pursuing that for your kids! And I hope you are able to find support and encouragement from homeschoolers around you.

[Peaceful Isle]

If you are in need of school books, and other items like readers, I would check out book Samaritan. They have a website and give instructions on how to get school books donated to those who are in need. :) you just have to write them a handwritten letter explaining your situation and what books you are in need of. It is good to give a few examples of what could work for each subject, because they work only on donations given to them, and don't always have everything. It takes a few weeks to a month, get your items. It is worth it though, if you are not able to afford any school books.

[Classical Katharine]

Whatever your politics, reading about Dr. Carson's upbringing might be inspiring to you. Yes, his mother sent them to public school, but the neighborhood was dangerous, and she was single, with a third-grade education. She couldn't read the book reports that she made her children do. He became a brain surgeon and is running for president. You write well enough to come here and describe your situation. Yes, you can do this!

 

Even if you are in the part of town where other homeschoolers aren't, could you find other homeschoolers in a neighboring community? Having some local support could be very helpful and encouraging.

 

Also, even beyond the specific academic subjects you teach, the habits you are teaching are priceless and can be taught without money. That we face our circumstances with determination. That we give thanks for what we have and make the best of it. That we seek to identify our strengths and build on them, and seek to identify our areas of lack and supplement them with advice and help. That we have a plan and we pursue it. That we break down big jobs into smaller ones, realistically but perseveringly. That we do our work "sweetly, neatly and completely"--that doesn't cost money! Love and respect in the home. Etc. These are huge gifts to pass on and the foundation of all effective schooling in any setting!

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Can someone homeschool successfully when they are at or below the poverty line?  Yes.  Is it easy?  No.  But then, neither is homeschooling in general.  It is a lot of work.  You take on everything.  And with young kids there is so much more involved from the parenting and instruction side.  You need to be realistic about what you can and cannot get done each day, what your overall goals should be, and what you can do for yourself.  You are working several full-time jobs at once to accomplish this.  That means you HAVE to put aside some time for you, regardless of what financial resources you have.  Mental and physical health of the parent/educator is critical but is often the most neglected.  

 

Are there other homeschoolers in your area you can hang out with?  Not pay for expensive co-ops but just to hang out with, talk to.  

 

FWIW, I am part of a group that does not have co-op classes but works hard with the community to negotiate for services/lessons/opportunities from businesses and individuals at a reduced cost or no cost at all.  We were able to negotiate a great deal for Robotics classes at a significantly reduced rate and for a much longer period of time than they normally offer.  We also were able to get a support group together for parents of young children where things like basketball and swimming lessons were sponsored by local businesses so they were free.  Networking with other homeschoolers has given us clout we did not have as individuals.

 

And also, I have found that because my kids were actually in a brick and mortar school for several years they are sooo much more positive on homeschooling now.  No grass is greener for any of us.  Having that experience gave them some great experiences they would not have had otherwise, too.  Homeschooling is great.  But homeschooling is not always the best answer for everyone at every time in their lives.  For DD, I think we will probably homeschool all through High School.  For DS, I suspect he will be happier returning to a brick and mortar school of some kind for High School.  He was definitely happier in a brick and mortar for the lower grades.  I wish I had not kept him in 2nd when things started going badly but I don't regret at all that he was in school for 4k-1st.  He thrived. He learned.  He loved it.  In other words, don't feel like you are a failure or that something special was ripped from you if you put your kids or just some of your kids in school for a bit.  Some kids do really, really well in that environment.  I did.  DS definitely did (up until 2nd grade).  

 

This isn't so much about money as about what is the best fit for you, your children and your family.  Have you considered putting just one child in school and seeing if they enjoy it and are learning?  Lots and lots of posters here put some kids in school at some point, or some in while homeschooling others.  I have one friend who homeschools only Middle School and High School.  Her kids are all incredibly successful.  Others here homeschool some and not others.  Still others homeschool the lower grades and put kids back in school for High School.  And many variations in between.  There is no one size fits all for how to educate in general or how to homeschool specifically.

 

The bottom line is, yes you can do this.  Just please take care of yourself, be realistic about what you can actually accomplish on a daily basis, realize that learning can happen in many different forms and try not to compare yourself to others.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[73349]

Welcome. If your local schools are high-poverty and low-performing, and especially if they have significant discipline issues, it is likely that you can do better at home.

 

I think the best thing to do right now is list your big goals for your kids; then you can look at your next steps. Write down your dreams for them.

 

If you want them to love reading, for example, look for a way to get a small but wonderful collection of books, and read to them every day. (Look here for some ideas.) It's completely okay to read the same book over and over!

 

If you want them to treat each other well, one step might be to work with them on problem-solving skills.

 

Some goals you can work on whatever kind of you schooling choose for them. Others might determine what you choose for them.

 

Best wishes.

 

[pinkmint]

The bottom line is, yes you can do this.  Just please take care of yourself, be realistic about what you can actually accomplish on a daily basis, realize that learning can happen in many different forms and try not to compare yourself to others.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Thanks for this  :001_smile:

 

Maybe a big part of what feels so hard that my kids are little... well and that I have an older baby/toddler who is on a rampage daily. I know they do not need intensive homeschooling at their ages, but still, we are homeschool minded and we need things to be occupied with since we are here all day. Having little to no money to do things much of the time can make the days very long and tedious to get through. "Normal" kids who go to school get a good portion of their day filled. I worry that my kids are home too much, and it's just plain hard on me (being here all day every day). 

 

It's been suggested to consider regular school for my kids and I can see why people would say that. It's been suggested to me here and elsewhere. I don't really feel like I have a choice though. Like I mentioned, we feel strongly about the benefits of homeschool. Even if I felt like I had a choice I do not feel comfortable at all with our local school district. 

 

I think maybe I do need to be realistic about what can be accomplished in a day. Part of it is that I have this constant anxiety because we're low-income, we don't fit in in our neighborhood, we're homeschooling which makes us "weird", we have little support which all means I can't give my kids a "normal" life, and that with the daily chaos of living with small children who take much more than they give. 

 

I would really like a homeschool support group. I looked it up a few times and there are only a couple of pay-to-be-involved co-ops within reasonable distance to me. The couple of free homeschool support groups I saw are in the far-away suburbs. I'll keep looking though. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Many of us really have BTDT - and some are still doing that.  My question about  your local schools was because I don't know you and didn't know your reasons for homeschooling.  I am graduating one child from homeschool this year (we've done it from kindergarten on) and have another in 8th grade so I do know about toughing it out - in my case - with the addition of chronic illness to the mix.  So I'm not trying to dissuade you!  We have never done co-ops - we haven't had a vehicle and or we couldn't afford it and my kids have done ok.  ;)  We did join the Y once they were older and have found that to be really beneficial.  Most Y's (and Boys and Girl's clubs as well) have sliding scales or scholarships that make it possible.  

 

I actually am nostalgic for the good old days when we stayed home with our suitcase full of books (I loaded up once a week) and did crafts out of recyclables.  Dd and I just went dumpster diving a couple of weeks ago for appliance boxes for a camp project on the cheap (with the store manager's approval).  Little kids can have so much fun with not much of anything.  We would set up store with toys and stuffed animals.  We would set up a train with the dining room chairs.  We would read the board book "Going on a Bear Hunt" and would act it out.  I made sock puppets out of socks with holes in them.  

 

 

[Classical Katharine]

I wonder also whether some older friends might be a huge help, not even necessarily homeschooling families. It sounds as if some of the challenges that are weighing on you are common to family life, not necessarily just homeschool family life. Are there relationships you could cultivate where you might get some thoughts on just the family-life-in-a-small-place side of things? This might help you not to be too hard on yourself with neatness expectations, for example, or on the other hand, might help you see areas of home life that would benefit from shoring up.

 

Some principles are universal across religion or not-religion, such as, children have a mind of their own; but when love and rules go together, they know the rules are part of the love; rules are best kept few and powerful, such as, we will be kind, we will be respectful, we will be truthful--that way everyone can remember them, and they apply to all the bad stuff, without the need for a ton of details, and leaving Mom and Dad the flexibility to apply them wisely; and there need to be age-appropriate, fair consequences for not doing what Mom or Dad said to do, handed out consistently but kindly. Along with encouragement and praise!

 

Some IRL input might be so helpful as you seek to provide what you desire to provide. And your children are blessed that you do want to provide for them in the best possible way.

 

 

[Haiku]

Are there library programs you can sign your kids up for? Does your local parks department have homeschool programs or free programs that are open to the public? (For example, when my kids were young, we went on many "critter walks," where a naturalist from the MetroParks guided a hike in search of traces of a specific animal.) Is there a park that you can take your kids to for a portion of each day? Do you have an art museum that has a children's section or free children's programming? Can you apply to your local YMCA for a scholarship? We once got one to reduce the cost of the homeschool swim-and-gym program. Do you read aloud to your kids? When my kids were 2-6 years old, I read aloud an average of 3 hours a day. Can you ask for/receive for your or the children's birthdays/Christmas art kits, memberships to local museums, or classes? Is there a homeschool group in your area at which you could meet other homeschoolers? They will a) know of the resources in your area and b) provide you social opportunities. If you don't know of such a group or can't find one, visit your library during school hours and approach families with school-age children. Chances are they are homeschoolers.

 

One thing I found key when my kids were little was getting out of the house for at least a small amount of time every day. It sounds like you guys need to get out of your neighborhood regularly. Do you have a car? Could you purchase a bus pass?

 

Good luck to you.

[beka87]

Hi there, and welcome!  I am short on time, but two things that have helped me home school through no money and challenging circumstances - making the library, particularly inter-library loan, my very best friend and posting on my walls visual reminders that uplift me daily.  Quotes, literature passages, anything that jumps out at me that I find encouraging.

 

You can do this!!

[SanDiegoMom]

I don't have a lot of advice, but just wanted to sympathize.  I haven't dealt with homeschooling in poverty, but I have dealt with the living situation before, and I think that is so isolating -- When my twins were born we had just moved into a tiny townhouse --  I was home alone with infant twins who never slept at the same time, and sent off my older daughter to a school that turned out to be a low performing mess.  When I would take her out for a bike ride with the twins in the stroller, we saw someone getting arrested, we had someone passed out on the sidewalk, the backyards were filled with junk. There was a lot of guilt.  Homeschooling wasn't yet on my radar, but if it had been she would have learned so much more at home even just reading books from the library. But I just remember whenever she was home, the house was impossibly full -- we tripped over everyone, and all I wanted to do was escape, but I couldn't because if the babies didn't have their naps they were a mess and cried non-stop and I, well, I just had a really tough time with two babies.  And suddenly they hit three and things got easier. But it was a very very long three years. The only thing that kept me sane was connecting with others -- virtually or otherwise. So posting here is definitely a step in the right direction!

 

 

[pinkmint]

Thanks, SDmom in VA. Yeah... within the first couple weeks we moved into this current place there was a cop chasing a guy who hopped the fence and ran through our little backyard. I hope that one day we can laugh about these things but it's not funny right now because we are here because we can't afford anything else. 

 

Thank you to all of you too. I dug a little deeper and found a couple of what seem like free homeschool support groups not too far away. I contacted them and am waiting to hear back. I think it is probably true that having support will make a big difference to my sanity. 

[idnib]

Welcome!!!

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I haven't been in your situation but after my DD was born I was very ill and discouraged. Coming here and "hanging out" with others who were doing the same thing I was really helped. I'm glad you posted.

[Pen]

Hi!  In many ways home school can be more important in your situation than for those who have more resources including better schools available.  And being a somewhat isolated mom can be hard even if not homeschooling--maybe sometimes worse, even.

 

In addition to other suggestions given above already that I agree with, like library if any is available to you and so on, I suggest that if you have an at all usable backyard (contact police to see if someone coming into it is common or unusual), and access to some clean-ish soil, you spend part of your homeschool time on vegetable gardening.  It is a great outlet for energy, for some kids can be extremely centering and soothing, is great for learning about science and nature hands on, and it can turn a few dollars worth of seeds into many dollars worth of fresh food if it grows. In many parts of the country things can still be done in fall-winter, or even if you are in an area that is too cold, icy, etc., you could prepare for a spring garden.  Some places also have community gardens where this sort of thing is possible even in inner city circumstances.

 

I'm not sure how old your kids are, but if quite young as I am imagining, a focus on home skills like cooking and so on with some work on reading, writing, and math can be a suitable program.  Waldorf and Montessori schools  both put a lot of emphasis on things like the children working on sweeping, washing a table, making soup, baking.  They can do that very well at home!

[Jayne J]

Just being the at-home parent of three small children can be very isolating and depressing in itself, and then adding homeschooling and financial worries to the mix can make things really hard. I have absolutely been there. You can do this.

In addition to the great advice above, I suggest looking to see if you can find any parenting support groups. MOPS or LLL might work, since you do have a little one, but do some checking and see what your area offers. Even if the other parents don't homeschool they can offer lots of support and comiseration for all the day to day difficulties of parenting. Good support can really change your outlook and give you the strength to keep fighting the good fight. I actually got a lot of help and support from a knitting group I joined--we were so broke that I would buy one skein of yarn and knit ONLY during our meet ups so that I could make one skein last as long as possible--but laughing and chatting with the group did a lot to lift me up when things seemed especially tough.

Keep your chin up. :)

[pinkmint]

I appreciate all of your feedback. It really does help to know that others are out there who can say "It really is hard" instead of having this sense of failure wondering why it feels so hard to manage.

 

I really do believe that it being hard is not an argument against doing it, namely homeschooling when you're drained with small children and low on resources. My problem seems to be that while I am solid on the big picture, it's the daily grind and tedium that can cloud my vision to where I can't see or care about the big picture. I need to prioritize finding ways to fill my tank, so to speak, so I can get through the days. 

[PeachyDoodle]

My mother often says, "The problem with parenting is that it's so... daily."

 

Truer words were never spoken. And when you get very few breaks from the daily (sometimes hourly) grind of being the parent of small children, you can start to feel like you're going slowly insane. Is there someone who could watch the children for an hour or two once a week so you can go for a walk and clear your head? In my house, at least, things are always better when Mom is relaxed. The local YMCA might be an option as well, if you have one; they usually have scholarships available to low-income families, and often offer short periods of childcare so you can get some exercise or just recharge a bit.

 

And you can always hang out with us -- you'll find a very supportive community here.

 

Your children obviously have parents who love them very much and are doing everything they can to give them a bright future. They are going to be just fine.

[mamakelly]

I totally feel for you. The only reason we are able to keep me home is because DH's parents passed away and so we have a retirement account that we take money out of to supplement DH's income. We figure when it runs out I have to go back to work. What state are you in? We have public homescho charter programs in California that help us pay for extras like ballet and music. ((Big hugs)) I know how hard it is

[pinkmint]

I'm coming back here to read the responses because I am having a tough time today. Often times, like today, I cannot come up with enough things to just plain occupy my kids in a good way. "Doing school" takes a small portion of our day since my kids are 6 and under. Then we have these seemingly endless stretches during the day.

 

Going on a walk in this neighborhood is not very safe or pleasant, like I mentioned. Weather is still in the mid 90's every day where I live and I can't handle sitting outside at the park in that heat. Signed up for the only homeschool meet-up I could connect with and the vast majority of the events are far away where all the homeschoolers live, and/ or require some type of money spending (brunching at a restaurant etc)... even if it's a parking fee for a museum, it's still grocery money for us. I often feel suffocated and on the verge of tears during the day in times like this. My kids just fight, cry, whine, and flop around the house acting bored and begging for shows and videos which I too often agree to (Netflix or youtube, we don't have cable) just so they'll be quiet. Someone mentioned making the best of our circumstances and I'm just not sure how to do that. I don't know how it's possible to have these high minded ideals of, for example, "no screen time" etc. We would lose our minds without screen time each day. But besides high minded ideals... just how to get through the day occupied with reasonably beneficial things. I have no idea. 

 

What gets me is the heavy feeling of failure every day. I can honestly say that I feel like I'm doing a decent job maybe 1% of the time. I have an almost non-stop anxiety about ruining my kids lives. And it seems like people (not referring to anyone here) think they would have the strength, wits and determination to make the best of a situation like this (being at home full time with small children, aiming to homeschool, skimming the poverty line, living in a beat down neighborhood where you can't even take a walk etc) but I don't see anyone but me trying to do it. Maybe I'm crazy and stupid. 

 

We don't make enough money to be "normal" in any way. And I have heard the lectures about how well off we are compared to people in 3rd world countries... it doesn't help, especially coming from people who make 3+ times our income and/ or who aren't massively in debt with no assets (home owners as opposed to a cr*ppy rental, livestock, spacious property for the kids, a garden etc) at all. These are real things that are hard in real life. But I do get caught up wondering if I'm a hopelessly negative person. I am a Christian, and I know the value of contentment. I also get tired of hearing about contentment from people who I wish would just say "That's a hard situation to be in." or something along those lines. 

 

Anyway, thanks for reading my ranting if you got this far. 

 

[barnwife]

I'm coming back here to read the responses because I am having a tough time today. Often times, like today, I cannot come up with enough things to just plain occupy my kids in a good way. "Doing school" takes a small portion of our day since my kids are 6 and under. Then we have these seemingly endless stretches during the day.

 

I am sorry you are having a hard day.

 

I understand the "endless stretches of the day" thing. We have a 5 yo, 3yo, and 2 yo.

 

The way I mentally make it through the day is routine, routine, routine. I am constantly saying "first we will play with legos, then read books, then clean the toilet." It really helps them and me to know what needs to happen.

 

I really don't plan many (school) activities at this point. But my oldest isn't ready for writing and reading yet. So school is really just lots of read-alouds. I just improvise games based on books we read that they like. They take it from there.

 

This would be so much harder if we couldn't go outside as much as we do (we live in the country and have plenty of space for roaming). 

 

FWIW, you are not stupid for trying to do the best you can for your kids. Keep coming here for inspiration/support. The other ladies here have plenty of that!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Pink, at those ages I put on PBS a lot for the kids.  It met a need at that age and was not the worst thing ever.  Most of the shows are educational even if it is edutainment.  

 

When my kids were that age we only had one car so I was stuck at home all day.  After dinner ever night my dh and I would drive to the mall and would walk.  It was our time to exercise a bit (those endorphins will make you feel a bit better) and to talk even if we had the kids all around us.  Sometimes if I needed quiet, my dh would walk ahead with the talking child(ren) and I would walk alone or with the baby.  Having that quiet time was so important to me!  

 

Speaking of exercise, if you could get an exercise DVD (we can get them from our library even) or I don't know if they have any on Netflix but just exercise with the kids.  There are some kid aerobic type ones that are fun and silly and you all get to move.

 

It is a hard situation to be in.  I am offering some suggestions though because my personality is one that is not satisfied with that - though I do want the empathy as well.  

[vonfirmath]

I'm coming back here to read the responses because I am having a tough time today. Often times, like today, I cannot come up with enough things to just plain occupy my kids in a good way. "Doing school" takes a small portion of our day since my kids are 6 and under. Then we have these seemingly endless stretches during the day.

 

Going on a walk in this neighborhood is not very safe or pleasant, like I mentioned. Weather is still in the mid 90's every day where I live and I can't handle sitting outside at the park in that heat. Signed up for the only homeschool meet-up I could connect with and the vast majority of the events are far away where all the homeschoolers live, and/ or require some type of money spending (brunching at a restaurant etc)... even if it's a parking fee for a museum, it's still grocery money for us. I often feel suffocated and on the verge of tears during the day in times like this. My kids just fight, cry, whine, and flop around the house acting bored and begging for shows and videos which I too often agree to (Netflix or youtube, we don't have cable) just so they'll be quiet. Someone mentioned making the best of our circumstances and I'm just not sure how to do that. I don't know how it's possible to have these high minded ideals of, for example, "no screen time" etc. We would lose our minds without screen time each day. But besides high minded ideals... just how to get through the day occupied with reasonably beneficial things. I have no idea.

You remind me of a blog I read and what she talks about poverty. She homeschooled her kids (most of them grown up and married) but has written some really good things over the years.

 

The Common Room

http://thecommonroomblog.com/

 

Category: Frugalities  http://thecommonroomblog.com/category/frugalities

 

I can't even find the post I was looking for. About how even the cost for gas that you need to get to an event can be a hardship on some and cause them to not participate, etc.

[kiwik]

I dont't think homeschooling or not is the issue. Even if you sent the oldest to school you would still be stuck at home with two little kids in an unsafe neighbourhood.

 

I wish i could help but I never did full time at home. The only thing I can think of is the lady who cared for my kids had a number of activities preplanned. Institute a rest time for all kids and designate screen times. It won't do them lasting harm to watch some stuff if your sanity is saved. When i am at home i divide the day into blocks and try and just focus on the block i am in.

[Classical Katharine]

Trying to really listen to what some of the roadblocks are for you, it sounds as if the difference another twenty dollars a week would make in your life would be large. That would be money for museum admission or parking or bus for a sanity-saving outing. You have a computer, so I wonder if you could research earning money taking surveys? Some of it is scam, but I know I came across a legitimate site at one point. I did a quick check for that site just now and didn't find it, but it's out there.

 

With a small trickle of extra income you would also have the power to budget for strategic treats for the home, such as a wonderful, mood-setting, calming CD like "Forest Piano," which is nature sounds and piano mixed really, really well--something everyone could listen to about a thousand times, maybe during a daily rest time. Music has a great power over mood. 

 

I'm wondering also if the physical health of the children might be a factor. No one's going to make a suggestion like "oh buy all organic" but budget-friendly things you could consider would include eliminating soda, if that's something the children drink--the sugar, colorings, and other artificial ingredients can be huge factors in hyperactivity. Also, getting some protein into everyone several times a day so that everyone's not hypoglycemic. It can be eggs, it can be peanut butter if no one is allergic, it can be complementary starches like rice and beans that you can buy in bulk and cook yourself, but if--IF--the children are eating sweet cereal and nothing else for breakfast, they are going to be in a bad mood. I'm not saying yours are--only that IF they are, this is an area where you might see a big change in their basic mood from some changes. The web is something you have access too--maybe barking up this tree: cheapest ways to eat nutritionally--might give you some new ideas. Bulk and DIY will be your friends.

 

I know the apartment is depressing but is there one thing you can change to brighten one corner? I remember a friend who lived in a not-great rental when her husband was a student took one little corner radiator covered in peeling paint (depressing), got the paint off and painted the radiator. Looking at that one, transformed corner gave her hope to go on. (Only read online about lead in old paint first, so your kids don't get lead in their systems, which wouldn't be good for them.)

 

The web is full of brilliant ideas for making a wall look nice, too, with very little money. People have ideas I'd never have thought of. Even if you just have construction paper and markers or string in the house, there are beautiful silhouettes you could make and hang, and using color and line, and grouping multiples with a theme, have a nice wall for almost nothing. Pinterest . . .

 

Even cleaning with something cheap and natural that smells good can lift your spirits--like vinegar with an herb soaked in it--fake fragrances are triggers for some people and homemade cleaners are usually cheaper. Again the web . . .

 

Taking just one idea at a time and seeing some benefit from it could help you feel less "stuck." It IS hard and yes, not all of us have been exactly where you are. I've been in some very bleak situations, but different from yours. But if you can feel that there is something you can do in even one area, and then reap benefit from that, then you can build on that and maybe feel even more hope.

 

Wishing you peace and a boost . . .

[Classical Katharine]

P.S. Speaking of cooking with real, dried beans in bulk, there are cheap crafts such as pictures made with Elmer's and different sizes and shapes of beans, that the kids could participate in. Someone did this with me when I was a child. Or with a bag of buttons from the thrift store. Along the way you can be counting, sorting by color, etc . . . maybe ask here about "cheap crafts to do with children" or online . . .

[Haiku]

I think that part of what you are dealing with is normal for most moms who stay home with young children. They days do stretch endlessly. I remember when my kids were young (I only had the younger ones then; the oldest was adopted later) feeling like the time would just creep by. I would plan an activity and think it would take 45 minutes and it took 15. It was very defeating sometimes. ETA: When my kids were toddlers and preschoolers, I was very concerned about my ability to homeschool because I was so drained just from raising them. Many people told me it would be different when they were school age and encouraged me to hang in there. I did, and it was.

 

I also agree that school isn't necessarily the answer. Only one of your kids is school age. You'd still be home with the younger ones.

 

I think that having a daily routine is critical. If the kids know what to expect from their day, there may be less arguing and bickering. I'm not saying you need a schedule, where everything is given time slots, but a general flow to the day that the kids can catch on to. First we have breakfast, then we brush our teeth and get dressed, then Mom reads, then we play, then we have lunch, then we have quiet time (incredibly important! Even if your kids don't nap, quiet time is a lifesaver! Mine had quiet time until they were about 9 and 10), then Mom reads again, then we watch PBS, and then Daddy comes home and we have dinner. I found that saving tv time until it was late in the day, when I was feeling frazzled and still had to make dinner, worked the best. I also liked to read to my kids while they were eating lunch. I would eat first, then read while they ate.

 

I still haven't seen whether you have a car or a way to regularly leave your neighborhood, but I still encourage you to try to find a way to get outside every day. Even when it's hot, the kids will benefit from regular outside time/exercise. I think you'll find the bickering decreases some if the kids have a physical outlet. I'd again encourage you to see whether you could get a scholarship at the YMCA. A LOT of time could be spent there.

 

Best wishes.

[pinkmint]

Thank you so much for the input again, everyone. I am sorry about being so negative. I am also sorry if this thread is out of place in this category... to me it really seems like a lot of the struggle is due to wanting to lead a homeschool lifestyle, even if my kids are very young. Other people with my circumstances often use daycare, preschool, and of course school (my oldest would be starting 1st grade). I read about a big study that says moms who work are less stressed and depressed across the board, even if they are working just to barely cover the daycare expense that allows them to work (amazingly). And the numbers are even more dramatic for low income women -- meaning they are consistently more stressed/ depressed when being an at-home mom. 

 

But anyway, as negative and defeated as I can sound sometimes, I think I try to do a pretty good job of making our home and life as pleasant as possible. I use simple things like music to break up the day and lift our moods. My kids diet is not the best but I do prioritize getting protein and good fat into them. 

 

When DH gets overtime it helps to have a few bucks to do things, even if it makes it harder because I'm alone more. We also do get a decent tax return and I think we should figure out ways to use it more strategically to help me throughout the year. We end up using it on things that we normally can't pay for like furniture, or paying credit card debt that we racked up buying gas and car repairs to get by in tough times. But I was thinking maybe we could use it to get passes to the zoo or something next time, gas cards, etc and be strict about splitting them up evenly throughout the year. 

 

 

[lllll]

nm

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think that part of what you are dealing with is normal for most moms who stay home with young children. They days do stretch endlessly.

This is a very good point.  I remember that too.  A homeschool lifestyle is not always that glamorous!  I had this mental image of the kids sitting around my feet gazing up at me while I read to them beautiful books.  We did read alouds and loved them but it didn't fit that mental image!  

 

I put up a routine for my young kids on poster board that I hung in our hallway.  It had pictures so they could follow it.

 

Breakfast (a picture of a piece of toast or an egg)

Teeth Brushing - a picture of a toothbrush

Feed Cat - I'm sure you can figure out what picture I used!

Clean kitchen - Even my young kids helped unload and load the dishwasher.  It was chaos at times but they learned valuable skills and it can be fun if you put on some music and sing while you do it.

Start laundry - same as for cleaning the kitchen.  Doing chores together also means that the kids don't get into mischief while you still get some necessary things done.

Toy time

Lunch

Read aloud

Quiet time (my kids napped or played with quiet toys in their rooms.  Sometimes our quiet times were only 15 minutes long and sometimes they went for an hour or more if everyone fell asleep but there was at least a little break)

Active time - put on an exercise or dance DVD and have fun.  Or take a walk even if the neighborhood is a bit sketchy.  (I don't know your neighborhood but our skethcy neighborhood where we had drive-by shootings etc. were fairlly quiet at times and we did walk down to the park and back.  I got to know other neighborhood families and we looked out for each other.  We just never ever went out after dark.)

T.V time while mom makes dinner

Daddy time!  

[Haiku]

Our quiet times were routinely 60-90 minutes. I kept the kids from bugging me by putting a timer in their bedroom so they could see when quiet time would be done and giving them a reward if they didn't come out of their room to ask "When will quiet time be over?" Realistically, I gave them a reward if they didn't come out to ask me that too much. It was usually just a cookie or something else I would have given them with their snack, anyway, but they didn't know that. ;) Just make sure that you check before the timer is supposed to go off and, if they have fallen asleep, turn off the timer so it doesn't wake them prematurely!

 

Also, are your kids getting regular snack times? We had morning and afternoon snacks so that they didn't get hungry and cranky. Snack time is also a good time to read aloud, and if the book is good, it extends snack time because the little people wanted to hang around and listen!

 

That's what my days became reduced to when the kids were little ... how can I extend activities to fill the time?  :closedeyes:

 

I didn't see how old your younger ones are, but I wholeheartedly suggest a "help Mom" time when the kids are doing simple chores to help you out. Unloading the dishwasher (if you have one), sorting the socks after they have been washed, sweeping with a small broom, washing cupboards, wiping windows, and dusting windowsills are all tasks that little people can learn to do. I have given my kids chores since they were two and now, at 12 and 13, they could pretty much run the house if they needed to.

[fairfarmhand]

LOL I like that. We're kickin' it old school. 

 

That's really what I'm getting at... the mindset. Are we getting too big for our britches thinking homeschool is for us? I mean, we're dealing with cycle-of-poverty stuff. The kind of thing where everyone knows you're "screwed", and the best thing you can do is let your kids go to public school so they can have a break from your dangerous and depressing neighborhood. I just hope for better than that, even though the day to day reality can be very rough. 

 

Consider though that if you live in that area, your kids are zoned to go to school with the kids who (in high school) have a higher possibility of teen pregnancy, drugs, violence, etc. This would be the learning environment. So while your kids may get away from your street, they may not get away from the issues that are presented right on your street. These issues can be overcome by anyone, but your kids will be affected by their schoolmates who are trying to deal with them.

 

ETA: There may be a great school in your area, but it's not guaranteed that your kids will be better off there. You may want to figure that out.

[fairfarmhand]

I've BTDT with little kids, no money to do extras, and no car to go anywhere. It IS hard. It IS dull. I really was conflicted during those years. I was glad to be home with my kids. I felt fortunate to be able to stay with my little ones and not drop them off at day care every morning. I was thankful that I got to be there for the day to day memories. But there was another side of my brain that ached for companionship, intellectual stimulation and a change of scenery.

 

 

Can you get an evening or weekend job to work a few hours and make a little cash? Just a tiny bit of money would make a difference, get you out of the house a day or two during the week, and provide a change of scenery.

 

There've also been some great suggestions above that you can implement to make some small changes.

[Colleen in NS]

pinkmint, I have BTDT.  I will come back later when I have more time, but for now I just want to say that I read all your posts in this thread so far, and I think you show great determination to educate your kids at home and that you CAN do it.

 

I'll get back later with a longer reply that I hope will be encouraging.

[Sahamamama]

Hi there. Not sure if this is where I should put this but here it goes...

 

Basically I need help with staying encouraged about the homeschool life while hovering near the poverty line and having challenging circumstances. Hubby and I both feel strongly about choosing to homeschool our 3 young kids. We are a one income family (husband) and have lived on a low-income our whole married life. We currently live in (rent) a small, ill equipped home in a neighborhood where I do not feel comfortable walking down the street with my children (loitering adults drinking, trash everywhere, dogs running wild etc). If we lived in a decent sized home with adequate outdoor space it would help with the fact that we can't afford things like co-op, field trips, fancy curriculum, extracurricular activities like sports or lessons or whatever. But we are here a lot because it doesn't cost money to be home. 

 

We also have a baby who needs 2 solid naps a day which makes going places extra difficult even when I can come up with a cheap outting. I try to make the best of it. I use Easy Peasy All-in-one, and I try to come up with things for us to do, as well as encouraging the kids to have creative play times. We are trying to come up with ways to improve our situation, but sometimes life gives you hard choices to live with, and things don't always go as planned or hoped for. I do hope things will improve soon, but in the meantime here we are. Homeschooling is important to me. I feel like it's one thing I can do to actually improve my childrens' likelihood of having a better life than their parents (hubby and I have both come from difficult backgrounds as well as struggling to make a normal living now). 

 

I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes though (kids fighting, all of us feeling cooped up etc). The idea of public school sound like a relief sometimes, and certainly it seems like we just can't afford these high ideals of homeschooling, but I do not like the reality of public school at all, especially living in a bad school district. Have you been there? What kept you going? Did things ever change? Were you glad you stuck it out? Am I ruining my kids' lives? How did you stay sane? 

 

 

LOL I like that. We're kickin' it old school. 

 

That's really what I'm getting at... the mindset. Are we getting too big for our britches thinking homeschool is for us? I mean, we're dealing with cycle-of-poverty stuff. The kind of thing where everyone knows you're "screwed", and the best thing you can do is let your kids go to public school so they can have a break from your dangerous and depressing neighborhood. I just hope for better than that, even though the day to day reality can be very rough. 

 

Oh, Pinkmint, my heart goes out to you! It wasn't so very long ago that I could have written your posts, almost word-for-word. We were in that place -- low-income, small house (749 sq. ft.), depressing neighborhood, three young children, no space, no money, no beauty in our surroundings. Homeschooling was essential to us, in part because of safety concerns in our school, in part because the academics were so poor. But what to do?

 

There were many, many times that I would find myself sorting laundry in the basement, suddenly sobbing with the ridiculousness of what we were doing. Who were we kidding? Homeschooling is for rich people, not people like us. I'm not going to fool you, it was a hard time. We had times when we had to choose between using the last $25 for gas, so my husband could get to work, or buying some food, so the children could eat. We usually had to get the gas, and yes, we went hungry. Who do you tell, when you're there?

 

I don't know what you believe, so take this with whatever perspective you choose. We prayed ourselves out. I don't think there is any other explanation (for us), except that we prayed ourselves out. I would sit in that basement sorting laundry, and just cry out to God to get us out, and put us in a place of beauty.

 

I don't know what you believe about these things, but in my heart, I know that God heard our prayer and he got us out. Two and a half years ago, through amazing circumstances, we moved to a lovely, large house in the country. There is no explanation, but it's reality. Every day, we wake up in this beautiful place, and our hearts just overflow with the thankfulness of people who really can SEE the Lord's answer to their heart's cry.

 

May I encourage you, if you do pray, to begin this for yourselves now? I will be praying for you. I'd like to know when you move. ;)

 

In the meantime... here are some ideas for where you are:

• When we started feeling cooped up in that little place, we went to a safe park in another town (if the weather was nice) or to the library (any time) or to my parents' house (not far). With young children, especially babies and toddlers needing naps, short trips are best, anyway. It didn't take long for us to make the library a weekly part of our routine. We walked in with a big red wagon (literally). :)

 

• Daily Naps (2 hours), which gradually morphed into Daily Quiet Time (also 2 hours). Still going strong, at 8, 8, and 10. They sleep when they're tired now, otherwise they read or crochet. I waste time do research on this board.

 

• If your outside world is lacking in beauty, make one, small, beautiful space in your home. It doesn't need to be big or expensive, it just needs to lift your spirits. For example, our kitchen window looked out to our neighbor's nasty, leaking sink pipe, complete with maggots in a mucky puddle. It was disgusting. I sewed a pretty curtain, and blocked the view (and the thought). I put a small vase on the windowsill and my little girls would fill it with clover and buttercups. :) We helped ourselves find and focus on beautiful things, even in the midst of a dump.

 

• Play classical music daily and loudly. There is nothing more uplifting than that. IMO, it is impossible to feel impoverished listening to Handel's Messiah or Bach's Saint Matthew Passion. If your library has CDs, the music might be free. Listen, and be lifted up above your surroundings. You might be poor, but you can listen to the music of kings.

 

• Some museums are free. Even some that charge admission have free days (they might be required to by law). Another thing I didn't know back then, but do now, is that sometimes a museum or other place will have in teeny-tiny print "suggested donation." What you think is an admission price is really a suggestion! So, just go and pay $5, if that's what you can afford. No guilt.

 

• We looked around for things to do as a family that were FREE (still do). At Christmas time, some churches put on living nativities or concerts or plays or a beautiful candlelight service. :001_wub:  At Easter, some churches might have a passion play or cantata. In the summer, some churches have free VBS camps or soccer camps or craft camps. We always participated in all those things. We went to parks, living history farms, the beach (after Labor Day, with a picnic), and any other place that didn't cost a thing.

 

• You said, "It doesn't cost money to be home," and this was true for us, as well. I think we just learned to live in that small space for all those years (9? 10? it's a blur). It was hard, I admit that. There was no place to put a thing. It was frustrating for my (at that time) eight year old, because every time she set up something to play with, she had to move it so we could walk through. Seriously. I used to send her to my mom's house for a day each week, just to give her a break from the smallness of our home. We spent as much time outdoors as we could, and read a lot of books at home -- because that was possible in a small space, KWIM? It kind of shaped us. Now, we are people who relate strongly and closely to books, to each other, and to nature. Looking back, I can see that it was formative.

 

• How are your surroundings forming you? Are you allowing them to shape into your family negative things? Positive things? What can you do to turn around your response to your circumstances, even if your circumstances seem to stay the same (for now)? You want to look back in a few years and see that you handled this hard thing well. I do realize that frustrations can build (and have nowhere to go!), but then it might be time to have a family meeting. We had to do this from time to time. It would go like this: Yes, we live in a small space. Yes, we live in this icky neighborhood. Yes, we would like to move. BUT, we love each other. The most important thing about our family is that we are a family. We are going to get along, even if we never move. We are going to do our best to keep this home healthy and happy and safe. And we are going to pray and work and hope until we are in another home. Having been in this home for two-plus years now, I can tell you that more space doesn't entirely eliminate the need for family meetings! LOL.

 

• Finally, it didn't last forever. I don't know what your future will bring, but please don't give up hope that things can change. If you had told me just three years ago that we would be living here, out of that house and neighborhood, I would have looked at you like :001_unsure:. Here we are. Hang in there, do what you believe in your heart is best for your family, and have hope. HTH.

[Colleen in NS]

Oh, do I ever feel for you and wish I could give you a hug.  I don't think you're stupid or too big for your britches, and I don't think you should be apologizing for being negative.  If any place on the internet is "safe" (well, safe as the internet can be, lol!) to talk about this stuff in context of homeschooling, it's these forums.  Oh sure, you'll read a lot of what seems "normal" for homeschooling (talking about methods and curric. and co-ops and days where nothing goes right and days where things are great), but you'll also find people doing this in extreme circumstances because it's what they believe is best for their kids.  You just don't see it as much until people like you get brave enough to POST about the struggles and ask for perspective.

 

About your mentions of homeschooling ideals - what are these ideals?  Maybe it would be helpful if you defined or listed them, and then figure out what will be realistic for you to work on *currently.*  Or ditch the ones you can't do (such as join co-ops/clubs/sports teams/etc.) and creatively figure out what you CAN do.  When my kids were younger, I had a very hard time with the fact that we just could not afford to do all those things (plus the fact that we've always only had one vehicle and we've lived most of the homeschooling years in an area with no public transportation).  I thought my kids were missing out on important things.  I had to work hard on shining the spotlight of my mind on what we *could* do.

 

And before my oldest turned 6, we did live in an area with public transportation, but I hardly ever used it with my kids because it was so darn much work to talk babies/toddlers/preschoolers on the bus, lol.  And like your baby, my babies had two longish naps morning and afternoon (and long sleeps at night) which made it hard to get out for long stretches (and I wanted them to nap and sleep regularly - they were happier that way).  Most of the time it just wasn't worth the hassle to get out for an hour or two.  It got easier when each baby dropped the morning nap, because suddenly the whole morning opened up.  (one thing I will highly recommend, though, is to never give up the afternoon "nap" time, even if your kids keep themselves awake - this time can morph into "rest" time for a couple of hours after lunch.  Having that big chunk of time for all of us to rest (and me read or sleep!) has been soooooo beneficial to all of us.  As mine outgrew the need to sleep during that time, I would provide books for them in their beds, and since we read aloud all the time, they were happy to have time to just sit and read.

 

Let's see...I feel like I'm meandering in my thoughts...like some others suggested, I second the advice to have a daily routine.  Breakfast, tooth brushing, household chores, something-to-fill-the-morning-including-reading-aloud, lunch, two-hour nap time, physical activity, supper-prep-while kids play constructively (or watch edutainment), supper, cleanup, bathtime, read aloud, bedtime, and then you relax.  Having a routine does help pass the time while you are immersed in baby/toddler/preschoolerhood.  It WILL get easier to cope. 

 

Another thought...being homeschool-minded doesn't exclude things such as doing life activities such as laundry, cooking, baking, grocery-shopping, homemaking, and providing clothing.  Another thing I remember from when my kids were little was that I designated each morning of the week for an activity.  Mostly it was just things I had to do such as laundry or baking or grocery shopping.  And when I said "had to do," I mean I really HAD to bake.  Baking was and is part of my strategy to conserve cash for other things we did not know how to do (such as major car repairs).  I just say this because some people view baking as a fun-but-unnecessary thing to do.  Not me - I bake breads, cornbreads, biscuits, etc. because it's much cheaper for us than to buy bread or biscuit mixes or rice and noodles.  So anyway, each morning had its life activity.  And the kids would wander in and out of my doing these things and help and then run back to whatever they were doing.  And speaking of doing, I read this book a long time ago.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-At-Home-Mothers-Homeschooling/dp/0968293824/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1441325778&sr=8-3&keywords=marty+layne

 

It's about homeschooling, but it has a more unschooling flavour, which I don't subscribe to.  But, I loved the way the author wrote - it was full and rich.  And she had so many creative and cheap ideas on how to create a home atmosphere that really invited learning to take place.  I used a ton of her ideas to create our home when my kids were little.  I'm thinking of things such as collecting unused and unusual clothing and other bits and bobs and keeping them in a basket for "dress up."  My kids are teens, and we still have the full dress up basket - it's one thing that will never leave our home.  Because I read so many stories to them, and because they both acquired a love for good reading and read good books, they were constantly digging through this basket to act out the stories together.  I never had to orchestrate these events - they did it themselves.  Another idea the author had was to collect items that could be used as musical instruments and keep them in a basket.  Guess what - we still have that basket, too.  You can easily make things such as shakers out of toilet paper rolls and rice or beans or craft bells or whatever you have on hand that will make noise in the tube.  Drum?  Plastic food (ice cream, butter, yogurt, whatever) tub flipped upside down.  You can decorate these things, too, with whatever you have on hand.  Get creative and brainstorm.  Look around your home.  We also occasionally found things like harmonicas and recorders at thrift stores.  You can also make a stuffed animal or a doll collection out of found materials.  We shucked corn yesterday, and my daughter (from having read the Little House books) fashioned a corn husk doll.  Old clothes and socks can be fashioned into animals or dolls.  You can use rags or plastic grocery bags to stuff these.  You can make balls and blocks the same way.  Anyway, maybe you can find this book in a library or request an interlibrary loan for it.

 

Another thing I deliberately focused my mind and efforts on throughout the years was ways to be frugal with what we had.  My favourite book for this was Amy Dacyzyn's The Complete Tightwad Gazette.  It's full of tips from her readers, but it's also full of her own articles philosophizing about how to think things through practically and why you should.  http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Tightwad-Gazette-Amy-Dacyczyn/dp/0375752250/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441328848&sr=8-1&keywords=the+complete+tightwad+gazette I found that I would get excited about a particular idea (from this book or from the create-a-rich-learning-environment books such as the above) and work that idea until I had learned and mastered whatever skills were involved and worked whatever idea it was into our lives.  Each new step improved our life a tiny bit and always felt like an accomplishment.  It felt so good to learn how to bake simple bread and how to make yogurt and how to negotiate for the best price on a vehicle insurance policy.  It also felt really good to learn how to create meals from whatever healthy foods we had on hand (I shop for the lowest unit price on many items), instead of trying to shop from a menu plan.  It just plain old felt good to learn that we did have some power over our lives despite the low income.

 

And that spilled over into other parts of my thinking.  As my kids grew and learned and read and played and I saw that they actually thrived, I found I could have a clear mind to plan for things such as teaching them to read and figuring out what are "good books" that I could get from the library and figuring out all the tiny ins and outs of teaching them the academic skills without having to buy involved curriculum.

 

Someone mentioned gardening - you mention a tiny backyard.  I second the idea to try it out.  If the yard is iffy with people running through it, you can always try plastic pots by a window.  Even growing an herb plant or two can feel rewarding, as you nurture that plant along and reap some great flavour from it for your meals.  Your kids will enjoy watching the seed bloom and grow.  And if you put it by a window, well then, you may just want to spend a morning sprucing up the window.  Give it (and the screen) a good cleaning inside and out so the sun can shine more brightly into your home.  Hang a bit of decoration around the window - make it like a little shrine or monument of life/peace/joy, so that when you all see the window area, your day will be brightened.  Don't buy the decorations - create something (anything!) from what you have on hand.  When you get into the creative zone, you'll be surprised by what you can come up with.  Get your kids involved - ask them for ideas.

 

You mentioned having an "ill-equipped" rental home.  Have a look around it. What is ill-equipped about it?  Take one thing that bothers you and see if you can creatively think of a cheap/free fix or substitute.  Maybe you don't have a clothes dryer and it's bugging you.  Can you rig up a clothesline in your yard?  Can you hang some rope by a sunny window?  I once had a clothes rack that I placed over floor heating vents and this is where our clothes dried.  I also once rigged up broomsticks, that I'd found, from ceiling hooks - for awhile this served as a clothes drying place.  It wasn't "normal" for North America, but it WORKED and it prevented us spending money on electricity, so I didn't care.  So anyway, fix that one thing.  Applaud yourself and celebrate with your kids.  You can celebrate with little kids the most "ridiculous" things and they'll think it's fun.  Any excuse for a special drink (even if it's water with food colouring added) and a special treat (homemade cookies or muffins).  Have a "We Have A Clothes Dryer Now" party!!  Celebrate the creativity you all can come up with.

 

Heck, bring the troubles here - we can help you think of ideas!  Seriously, the more you start to use your own creativity within your own circumstances and means, the better you get at thinking creatively elsewhere - it's a great problem-solving skill.  And it will spill over and be built upon in homeschooling.  In fact, it's part of homeschooling.

 

Anyway, I totally feel like I'm rambling.  But all that to say that you DO sound like you are determined to do this and that you firmly believe it is best for your kids in your circumstances.  And you sound very able.  The library and your mind (left and right sides) are your friend in this right now.  And this forum.  Please come here anytime and present your struggles - you will find help here.  I don't post much these days, but for many years this place was a lifeline for me.  I do hope you find some homeschoolers to connect with, but if you can't find that right now, this virtual place can be so helpful and supportive.  And you don't have to pay for brunch in a restaurant, lol.  I would venture to say that you have an awful lot of potential to give your kids a good head start in life.  Don't worry about "normal" (whatever that is, lol) - you have a brain you can use right now to enrich their lives right in your own home.  I feel like a cheerleader, but I sincerely mean everything I'm saying.  I see a Mom who is suited to do this for her kids - she just needs some fresh ideas and perspective.  Come back and ask for encouragement whenever you need to!
 

[Colleen in NS]

Sahamamama, I just read your post and I LOVED YOUR ENTIRE POST!!!!!!