I just want to cry. HSing and moving drama vent.

[foxbridgeacademy]

So all Summer we've been anticipating a promotion for Dh and move out of state (we live in a tiny town 45 minutes from everywhere).  There were two possible locations for the new plant we were told.  One would have us in Auburn AL, YEAH!!!! But we were told awhile back that no, it would be Ohio just South of Columbus.  Well that's ok, I thought.  Ohio isn't much different then Indiana (COLD) but Columbus is a big city with lots to do ...... which is our #1 criteria for agreeing to move, we want to give the kids more opportunities for activities.

 

 The boss' idea of "just South" is 50+ miles away from anywhere (way to far to drive IMO).  The town has around 5000 people (smaller then our current tiny town).  I'm so disappointed, I could cry.  DH didn't say no, but he definitely didn't say yes (Boss called to make sure he wasn't too ticked off :glare: ).  There is one small glimmer of a possible town (20,000 people) about 1/2 hour away from the new plant.  It has a few activities for the kids but the town has high crime and we probably wouldn't want to live in the areas we could afford.  We're discussing me going to work but with my diabetes and heart issues, not sure how much I can do.  

 

I'm at a loss of which direction is best.  We can't stay here, not only is this area lame, but this plant will be closing when the new plant opens.  DH can find a job anywhere but we'd need some moving expenses and companies can be stingy about those. 

 

The company is paying for a long weekend to the area sometime this fall for us.  If we don't get a good vibe then we're going to have to start looking for a new job  :sad:.

 

 

[Anne in CA]

That really does not sound fun. I'm sorry. I really am. To look forward to something like that and have it not happen is hard.

[Stacia]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[Starr]

I'm so sorry!!!

[foxbridgeacademy]

Thank you.  It's not end of the world, but we've been waiting since May to find out.  Oh, and if we do decide to stick with the company it could be another year before they actually need DH there.  Makes me crazy.

 

I want to move back to TN.  

[RootAnn]

:grouphug:

I'd have dh dust off the resume & start sending out feelers. From our experience, it takes around a month per 10k of salary to find something new unless you are in a highly-sought-after field,  lots of contacts, or in a field where there is lots of hiring right now.

 

I don't know what his relationship with his boss is, but my DH would probably be really blunt with the boss about The Wife not being happy about their subterfuge on the location.

[Amira]

:grouphug: I am so sorry.

[poppy]

I'm sorry.  BTDT.  Apply elsewhere- sounds like he needs to take control of his own destiny.

[mommaduck]

Can you live closer to Columbus and dh travel to work? 50miles isn't terrible.

[sbgrace]

:grouphug:

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

 

 

the town has  4000 more people than the small town that is 20 minutes drive from where I live. I am rural - and closest large town 100 km away.

. You get use to it and learn to do big shops etc.

[BooksandBoys]

I grew up 45 miles north of Columbus and turned out just fine. Hugs!!

[Liz CA]

Sounds disappointing. Are there plants in other areas of the country where your dh could apply?

[PrincessMommy]

What a let down... I hope the fall visit will give you some concrete answers.  :grouphug:

[fairfarmhand]

n/m I misread your post so my comment was not helpful

[Halcyon]

i am so sorry. this would really disappoint me too. i would hate having my fate hanging in someone else's hands like that, and then be let down. Hugs.

[plansrme]

I'm so sorry.  To have the awesomeness that is Auburn held out as a possibility, only to have it snatched away and replaced with something no redeeming qualities, would make it particularly upsetting. 

[FO4UR]

Is there a place to live directly in between Columbus and the plant?  That would be 25min both ways.  You could get in lots of audiobooks.

 

 

sigh...yeah, I'd not burn any bridges meanwhile, but I'd be floating a resume.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Finding another job is not an issue, he gets at least 2 calls a week from companies/headhunters.  But at the level he's at, only 1.5 years into management it's unlikely they'll give him the same level.  The pay at current company is low, he can go across the street from work and the company there wants to pay him $4 more(equivalent) per hour and that's for the non-management job.  He really likes his boss, who is not the one responsible for all the sucky choices.  

 

I would have been happy to live in Columbus but I'm not driving 25 miles each way every day or two so the kids can do activities, then sit around for hours while they do them.... BTDT and hated it.  I really wanted Auburn but was happy with Columbus. I don't want to name the teeny, tiny minuscule town but we're considering a town called Chillicothe.  If it sounds familiar, it's been in the news lately for having a serial killer whose been killing prostitutes with a heroin addiction. :svengo:  .  Xenia, seems like a nice town (so far) is another contender but it's a 40 minute drive for DH.  I appreciate everyone listening, sometimes it helps to say everything out loud.  I usually talk to my sister about these things but she currently moving house herself and is way to busy.  I may call her anyway and make her listen.

[Tess in the Burbs]

All moves are different. You can move to a high HS area, but not connect with anyone. You can move to a small town and find the best friend for you and your kids down the street. We have moved a lot. Some places led to great friends and some not at all. Moving brings different seasons to your life. Check it out before thinking it is bad.

[QueenCat]

If the job is a good one for your dh's career, I'd find a way to make it work. Live about half way between Columbus and the job. Commutes of less than an hour are considered "great" commutes in many areas of the country, and would be well worth it if it puts the family in a better place for making "life" work for them.

[MEmama]

Is Athens an option? It's a college town and might be more liveable than some other choices.

[vonfirmath]

Is Athens an option? It's a college town and might be more liveable than some other choices.

 

My aunt lives in Athens. Its a great town. I remember it as being quiet. (but hilly)

 

But its also a good ways away from Chilicothe.

 

[Bluegoat]

I've found that size isn't everything, at least when it comes to towns.  Some smaller places seem to have really active communities, and usually it is quick and easy to actually get around them too.  My dad's town has just over 1000 people for example, but better activities than some much larger places I've been to, and you can pretty much walk across the entire tonw to get to them, even as a child.  Plus, you can be completely weird and still fit in. 

 

And if you get connected to people in small places there can be more than you think too.  So I would look into the local culture in a significant way before assuming small means boring.  It really varies.

 

I also wouldn't necessarily take a high crime rate all that much to heart.  That doesn't always translate into a bad living experience.  My city has a really high murder rate at the moment, but I don't know anyone who has been murdered, even living in the bad part of town.  Here,  if you aren't in a gang or into drugs, chances are you will never need to worry about it.  So - I think a statistic like that needs more context.  I would not worry at all about a serial killer, unless it was an active problem and I was a likely target - serial killers are a random occurrence, they don't reflect anything else.

[MEmama]

My aunt lives in Athens. Its a great town. I remember it as being quiet. (but hilly)

 

But its also a good ways away from Chilicothe.

 

True. I wasn't clear if the job is in Chilicothe or where, exactly. That would make a difference for sure.

 

Depending on where the job is, you might consider Columbus' southern suburbs. DH grew up in Columbus and suggested that Circleville might be a contender; again, depending on your location needs.

[MommaOfalotta]

We live super close to Chillicothe. Just a smidge north in an even smaller town. I hate Columbus so we very rarely go there.. but growing up anything we wanted to do (dinner, shopping, etc) we would go to Chillicothe or Lancaster.  Some areas of Chillicothe are crappy, but some are nice. And safe.

 

My best friend lives there in a beautiful house and a safe neighborhood.

[Katy]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

DH commutes 48 miles one way every day just so we can live in a nicer area.  It's doable, but it is hard when he has to work 12-14 hour days and then has a couple hours of commuting too.  It's also hard when there's icy weather.  Sometimes he can work from home, but that really depends on the week.  I'm not sure we would sign up to do this commute again.  I think we'd be more likely to live in the middle of nowhere and commute once a week to activities.

[cintinative]

 

 

I would have been happy to live in Columbus but I'm not driving 25 miles each way every day or two so the kids can do activities, then sit around for hours while they do them.... BTDT and hated it.  I really wanted Auburn but was happy with Columbus. I don't want to name the teeny, tiny minuscule town but we're considering a town called Chillicothe.  If it sounds familiar, it's been in the news lately for having a serial killer whose been killing prostitutes with a heroin addiction. :svengo:  .  Xenia, seems like a nice town (so far) is another contender but it's a 40 minute drive for DH.  I appreciate everyone listening, sometimes it helps to say everything out loud.  I usually talk to my sister about these things but she currently moving house herself and is way to busy.  I may call her anyway and make her listen.

 

If I was going to pick between Chillicothe and Xenia, I'd pick Xenia in a heartbeat. Just my two cents.  If you live in Xenia, you are generally in "civilization" and within 30 minutes of museums, malls, restaurants, etc.  Also if you want to live in the country but drive in to the grocery, you can pull that off in Xenia.  Plus they have really cute old houses in Xenia. =)

[RKWAcademy]

I feel for you.  I'm in a similar situation - stuck in a place I despise for dh's job.  I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel because as soon as dh retires (9 years!), the kids will be gearing up for college.  I'm sure the fairly near state school will be the best choice for them.  So.  I'm making the best of this lousy place.  It's hard work, especially with no family around.  I do a lot of driving to a town 35 minutes away (four days per week, five total trips in, minimum, for kid activities or therapy).  What about requesting within his company to move to a different plant?  Is that possible? 

[Susan C.]

Sounds like you are getting good ideas here. Maybe rent for a year to make sure you like the area/job, so you can just leave easily if need be.

 

Another way out there idea is for you and kids to go to parents in TN (you said you want to be there) and have dh try the job out. That way if he hates it, you don't have to endure another move, and you would have the support of your family. Long term, it seems you want to be there, and that is important. Can your dh find something near your family and grow into the area?

[foxbridgeacademy]

Clarification: I live in a tiny town in Southern Indiana would like to live in Eastern or Southern TN but Dh is being transferred to even tinier town in the middle of nowhere OH.

 

We're already near family, no I can't stay with them but that's a great idea for people with normal family ;) .  I think realistically we're just going to have to bite the bullet, take the job and do a wait and see for a while (no other plant options for about 2-3 years) .  We can't live very far from DH's job because he will likely get called in a couple times per week in the middle of the night after working who knows how many hours (at least 10, likely more) Then he'll have to be back at work the next morning.  

 

I can't see me driving the kids through Columbus traffic to go to the library for an hour then just turn around and drive through rush hour traffic back home :willy_nilly:  :banghead: .  I need to be in a town that has activities for teens (anime club, game days, YMCA, parks/places to just hang out) regularly that I can drive 5-10 minutes to drop them off or eventually they can ride a transit bus. This is in fact our first priority after affordability and safety.

 

It's okay, I really didn't think there would be a happy solution, I think we're going to have to wait until we can visit the area and get a feel for the towns and see which is a better fit and then just deal. 

 

 

[MommaOfalotta]

Everything you mentioned, library, YMCA, etc we have around here :) We even have a homeschool co-op group :) Anyway, if you do end up moving and need anything (advice, a friend, etc) message me! We are in Chilli all the time! Seriously all. the. time.

 

I don't want to put it on blast where exactly we live, but if you are looking at a map our town is the name of a shape + ville. Lol Super close!

 

 

ETA: Plus, as much as I hate this state and would LOVE to relocate, I do have to admit there are a lot of field trip opportunities and cool things that go on. Plus, our homeschooling laws/requirements are super easy.

[kbutton]

Well, I can't speak for Chillicothe, but Xenia is, in some ways, a homeschool Mecca. Seriously. You could do worse. And Xenia is close enough that you can do things in Columbus or Cincinnati. There are a lot of colleges nearby that will have free or cheap musical performances and the like (though not necessarily specifically for homeschoolers). 

 

(I don't live in Xenia, but I went to school near Xenia and have friends in that general area.)

 

Try asking around on some Ohio homeschooling Facebook pages to see what folks have to say. You might be surprised.

 

 

[Pink and Green Mom]

What a terrible situation to be in.  I am so sorry.  I have BTDT with potential move locations.  I spent two years in college at Ohio University in Athens.  It is a lovely college town.  It was a lot like Clemson (where I spent my first two years), which I hear is a lot like Auburn....

 

I have to say, I loved Ohio.  The people I went to school with there were amazing - friendly, kind, genuine.

[idnib]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I think "wait and see" is the best thing. But I can totally understand your disappointment.

[littlebug42]

Xenia is very close to Dayton where there is a very active homeschool community and tons of things to do.  Also, great things to do in Cincinnati and Columbus.  I would rather live in Xenia than Chillicothe.  

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We have family in Cincinnati.  When we are staying with them, we routinely go to Dayton or Caesar Creek for day trips.  FIL used to live in the Pickerington/Reynoldsburg area.  While it was rural, there was a lot of development and activities and shopping weren't far away in terms of time.

 

FWIW, we live in a densely populated metro area.  There are libraries and shopping quite close.  But it can often take me 30 min to go the 3 miles from the store or swim practice back to home.  Getting to homeschool activities might take 15 min on one day and 90 min on another, just due to the difference in traffic because it's a different day and time of day.  

 

I have rarely seen traffic like that in the Cincinnati/Columbus area.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I'm also leaning toward Xenia, mainly because of the activities at the library (monthly Doctor Who club, anime club, and Stars Without Number role-playing every other week). I am worried about the serious lack of rental houses but that will have to wait for a visit, I think.  We probably won't be staying long enough that Colleges in the area make a difference (other than current activity options) but if we do there are quite a few within an hour or so drive.  I appreciate all the advice and the disappointment is starting to abate, I rarely stay down for long.  Also this is probably better, I can drive 1/2 way back to Indiana to pick up/drop kids off (lots of nephews/nieces who like to visit) and be back "home" within 4 hours, I wouldn't be able to do that if we were down South. And I HATE bigger city traffic I might have never left my house if we were actually in Columbus.  I lived in Charlotte for a few years and I can't count the times I could almost see my house but still take 20 minutes to actually get there, and yes i'm exaggerating on the "seeing" my house, there were too many trees in the way.

[MommaOfalotta]

And Cincy is home to the annual homeschool convention. TALK ABOUT FUN! :party:

 

We "road trip" to Cincy. Dh and I are actually going there at the end of September to spend our anniversary in a gorgeous historic hotel! We have taken the kids to Newport Aquarium and, my favorite, the Cincinnati Museum center. Lots to do!

 

I'm trying to make it seem a little more exciting for you, lol, is it working? :tongue_smilie:

[foxbridgeacademy]

And Cincy is home to the annual homeschool convention. TALK ABOUT FUN! :party:

 

We "road trip" to Cincy. Dh and I are actually going there at the end of September to spend our anniversary in a gorgeous historic hotel! We have taken the kids to Newport Aquarium and, my favorite, the Cincinnati Museum center. Lots to do!

 

I'm trying to make it seem a little more exciting for you, lol, is it working? :tongue_smilie:

Yes, I realized that almost anything is better than where we are at now.  The only thing we have right now is being an hour from family but we're sooooo bored.  To alleviate that boredom we have to drive over 45 minutes (if there's no traffic) and then that's only a couple times a month.  No, I'm actually starting to perk up a bit.  If I am completely honest, the idea of living in Columbus was starting to scare the carp out of me.  Small town near bigger city is probably better anyway...... Still would have preferred Auburn,  I hate the cold, but maybe next move.