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Josh Duggar in the news yet again


redsquirrel
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I assume people mean that she is not easily employable for more than minimum wage. It would be very unlikely she could support her kids as a single mom.

 

I think she has a better chance than a lot of women in her situation, because she is famous.

 

She may need to get her hands dirty, like a lot of people, but I don't believe she is unemployable.

 

And I am certain she would be entitled to child support, if not alimony, from Josh.

 

BTW, is Josh even employed right now?

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"Uneducated."  What do people mean by this as applied to Anna?  Can she not read and write?

 

There are billions of moms who do not have a college degree, and a fairly significant % would have to study to pass the GED.  Yet these moms are generally considered capable of making adult decisions.

 

Yeah, I think that isn't entirely a fair characterization.  There are plenty of people who make their way through life without having formal education beyond high school.  And it is entirely possible for people to self-educate.

 

I think though that what might well be a challenge is having no expectation of ever having to support yourself with a job, and then sudden;y thinking about having to do so for yourself and kids. I mean - I have a degree and a diploma and job experience, and I find the idea of suddenly having to go back to work intimidating.

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I assume people mean that she is not easily employable for more than minimum wage. It would be very unlikely she could support her kids as a single mom.

 

She could if he were paying the appropriate child support for four children.

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I think though that what might well be a challenge is having no expectation of ever having to support yourself with a job, and then sudden;y thinking about having to do so for yourself and kids. I mean - I have a degree and a diploma and job experience, and I find the idea of suddenly having to go back to work intimidating.

 

That's largely true of any stay-at-home mom of young children who has marital problems.  It's one of the reasons society frowns on extramarital affairs.

 

And as a general statement about any woman with such a husband - regardless of background - the reality of divorce is that they usually end up hurting financially.

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albeto., I am willing to bet that if I said homosexuality was immoral that you would extrapolate that I was saying homosexuals were immoral. I stand by what I said and I won't engage you further on it at this time. Make of that what you will.

 

desismileys_3254.gif

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I am always baffled by these types of threads, both on here and FJ.

 

How do people know the innermost thoughts or inner workings of these people?  I know a lot of people who were brought up in ATI, some are educated, some are not, some are messed up, some are not, some have  a lot of kids, some don't have any, some denounce it, some don't...but I could never pin any one of them down to the level of detail going on here simply by knowing their public persona.

 

I can't figure out how you all (generic) know so much about what these people must be thinking or what they want to do, or what their parents are doing or not doing, or what their mindset is, or how angry or not angry they are

 

These are people, not two dimensional characters that can be reduced to a list of Bill Gothard's greatest hits. Things are happening in their family that we cannot see and don't know or will never know about.  Frankly it just seems like the reverse (for lack of a better word) of what Gothard et al teach about non-believers -- they are this, they do this, they think this, etc.  I get they put themselves on TV, but I don't believe for a second that anyone on any reality show from the Duggars to Jersey Shore is any less complex than I know my own feelings and emotions to be.  I don't understand how so many people here and elsewhere presume to know exactly what's going on or what's not going on in someone else's mind based on statements released by the family and hacked data from AM.

 

It's just strange to me that everyone thinks they must know what's going on inside someone's mind.  Any relationship is more complex than what it's being reduced to here, cult upbringing or no.

 

And for the record, I'm not talking about making judgements based on known facts.  I do think cheating on one's wife while creating child after child with them is a horrible (to say the least) thing to do.  I just don't get how people get from there to trying to predict what they are thinking, what they are going to do, what they must believe or know, etc, etc, etc.  And aside from here there's just pages and pages of that sort of thing all over the internet.

 

 

People on here just seem to look for reasons to bash Christians and especially ones like the Duggars.  I guess they don't have a life otherwise.  I don't understand it.  If you don't like them, then just ignore them.  That isn't that difficult.  If they were telling the people on here how to live their lives, they would be furious.  I guess it only goes one way.

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I also find it interesting that people on here think this is the only family to ever have a child go astray.  Just because they are a Christian family, the non-Christians assume they need to be perfect.  Sorry folks, even Christians won't be perfect until they get to heaven.

 

And it isn't that I'm trying to defend Josh.  It is just that you all are acting like this is something that never happens in non-Christian families and that the entire family is to blame.

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So, now raising your children in a Christian home is brainwashing them in a cult? Seriously? It is easy to see who does and doesn't know the truth.

Have you been to a Bill Gothard event? I have. I saw the cult like teachings with my own eyes and heard them straight from Bill Gothard's mouth. ATI bears little resemblance to the Christian homes many WTM families are raising their kids in. It shares little resemblance to the loving churches I grew up in. It's a cult like sect, not some innocuous little Christian offshoot.

 

In ATI, you would be thought badly of and not allowed to even register for their homeschooling program (the fathers had to give consent, even if the mom had sole custody). Perhaps you don't know that, but it is true.

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Am I the only one wondering why, given the Ramsey-style zero debt financial philosophy the Duggar have always touted, Josh Duggar had a credit card? I wonder how many other debts he has run up in addition to the AM fees? For porn, or prostitutes, strip bars, or whatever else he decided he wanted since he decided he didn't have to play by his own rules?

To be fair, many families, my own included, pay everything on credits card and pay them down to zero at the end of every month. I don't know what the heck is going on with them, but that's actually quite common. Others use prepaid visas as a sort of envelope system :)

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I certainly don't think Anna is stupid or hopeless.  I do think she has been sheltered and went directly from her father's headship to her husband's.  I think she might need some help and support.  I hear about women, who were never raised in the environment Anna was, not knowing how to leave abusive/destructive marriages.  They need a helping hand and some support between being dependent and independent.  I have a friend from childhood who married right out of high school, had a family, never worked, her dh paid all bills and made most decisions (they did belong to a pretty strict church).  He died, and she did not know what to do.  She had literally never paid a bill, budgeted money, done taxes, signed a lease, had a bank account, made major decisions.  She needed help.  In no way was she stupid or hopeless.  It was hard on her, but with help she made it.

 

Thinking she needs support and help is not saying she's stupid.  I would hope her family would be giving her that help.  If she doesn't want it, well, okay.  My older dds are totally able to and have stood on their own two feet and been responsible for themselves, but their father and I would certainly be offering help of any kind to get them through a horrible situation like this.  Honestly, I would be encouraging my dd to leave, at least temporarily until the husband made some moves in the right direction.

 

I cannot get myself into the brains of these people.

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People on here just seem to look for reasons to bash Christians and especially ones like the Duggars.  I guess they don't have a life otherwise.  I don't understand it.  If you don't like them, then just ignore them.  That isn't that difficult.  If they were telling the people on here how to live their lives, they would be furious.  I guess it only goes one way.

 

While he has not been on here telling people how to live their lives, Josh Duggar has made a career out of both telling people how to live their lives and advocating for legislation to enforce it, here in the US and also abroad.  The bashing on this thread, if it can be called that, is directed not at Christians in general, but at the beliefs of a very particular Christian sub-culture, and the harm those beliefs (directly or indirectly) have caused Mr. Duggar, his wife, and their children.  It is also directed at Mr. Duggar himself, for living a life so contrary to that which he has publicly held up as a moral standard for everyone else, whether they are Christian or not.

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Yes, I've known a person or two that has been in a cult, but were not individually cultish themselves. Few last within the cult. ATI/IBLP itself is a cult. Certain people are in positions of authority or positions of being the front face of. The Duggars and several of their friends are those people. THEY ARE cultish and part of a cult. There is no way to talk around those facts. 

 

FFI, quite a few of us here have personal experience with cult groups. ATI/IBLP, CGM/CCF, etc.

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People on here just seem to look for reasons to bash Christians and especially ones like the Duggars. 

 

I don't know whether anyone else has already said this, but I will. Although I don't consider myself a mean or vindictive person, I always feel a little vindicated when people who have made a life of being judgmental of others get their comeuppance. As a non-Christian, I am so incredibly tired of constantly encountering Christians (in real life and in the culture-at-large) who are eager to tell me all about how sinful I am and the damnful hell that awaits me should I choose to continue turning my back on god. I am sick to death of these people acting like they have all the answers and are better than I am because they are Christian. A tiny part of me is a little bit happy when it turns out that, whoops, those people are just as flawed as I am. 

 

Just because they are a Christian family, the non-Christians assume they need to be perfect.  

 

*snip*

 

It is just that you all are acting like this is something that never happens in non-Christian families and that the entire family is to blame.

 

People only have the opinion that Christians "should" be perfect because so many of them make a habit of telling us how they are and how dreadfully the rest of us fall short. Of course these things happen in non-Christian families. But a non-Christian has never called me names, refused to talk to me, walked away from me in disgust, or refused to be my friend because I am not Christian and am therefore an immoral person.

 

Imo, many Christians need to take off their blinders and accept the fact that the reason a lot of people have a negative opinion of Christians and Christianity is because of the way some Christians behave.

 

For the record, I don't dislike any specific Christians just because they are Christians. If there is any disliking on my part, it's because of the way they use their religion as a weapon against other people. As long as you don't do that, I don't care what religion you are. 

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You can't just make a blanket statement assuming that all people involved in ATI are cultish.

Have you been to an event or not? I am guessing not. I saw a cult leader selling distorted beliefs like a snake oil product. Are all people who get involved buying fully into the cult? No. Many distance themselves when they realize what is going on. Is Bill Gothard a cult leader (and sexual criminal)? Yes.

 

There would be no welcome for you and your daughter in ATI (women have small families because they don't believe strongly enough, did you know that is what they teach?) Defend them all you like but trust that they will not return the favor. Women are married for life and *any* remarriage is a horrible sin in their eyes, as is not trying to return to one's first husband. That was actually one of the things I heard Gothard say- that a woman at one of his conferences was a sinner for not returning to her first husband. Nothing a husband does- addiction, sexual abuse of a child, spousal abuse merits divorce in his book. The wife is to blame if she can't fix her husband. Maybe that sounds like Christian love to you, but I personally think Christ would treat you and your daughter better than that.

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I believe what Josh has done is horrible. He has given Christianity a big black eye in the world's view even if many Christians don't agree with him or his type of Christianity.

 

Some want a better apology from him but why does he owe any of us an apology? He didn't cheat on us. If anything he owes the people he harmed an apology which would be his family, fans, and other Christians. He placed himself on a pedestal as an example of moral Christian character, failing miserably, but not every Christian put him there.

 

You may say he owes the apology to LGBT community because of his vile actions while on the pedestal but that is a different topic. If you feel strongly about his opposition to LGBT rights, go after him for those reasons. The fact that he accused them of low morals while cheating is a convincing point when considering whether he should be in a position of authority on the topic. However, his failures morally doesn't mean that everyone that is in opposition to LGBT rights is of the same despicable character.

 

As for his wife's choice on how to handle his infidelity, shouldn't that too be her own? Her choice? I remember another man that had many policies that people all over the country disagreed with, he was in the top position of authority in this country, and once his cheating came to light, he was forgiven by his wife. Most agreed that while his actions were wrong, what he does privately as a consenting law abiding citizen should not be a factor in determining if he was a good president. I am not saying that the situation is exactly the same but there are enough similarities that we should pause and consider if this was our family, friend, or person that represent our views would we be as harsh if the roles were reversed.

 

For myself, I pray that Anna gets the help that she needs to make the best decision she can for her family whether that includes Josh or not. It will be difficult either way and in the world's eyes someone will always be disappointed in her choices. For this reason I hope she is able to make the decision for herself and kids alone.

 

 

Edited to add that for me personally I don't understand how people can be a follower of ATI even though I am Christian. It baffles me. I also don't understand how JD could lobby for the death penalty or life imprisonment for same sex relations. Even though I believe homosexuality is a sin, I cannot fathom wishing harm to another person because they do not share my same belief.

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It was the Duggars who made themselves public figures by choosing to work in politics to legislate their brand of Christianity and morality. They support the idea that homosexuality should be punishable by death (that was a focus of FRC) . They have worked tirelessly to legislate againt basic health care, including birth control for women. As a former executive director of FRC, Josh Duggar raised & allocated funds to deny and limit civil rights on the basis of gender and sexuality. The Duggars are part of our political landscape by their choice. Of course they are going to face backlash on their hypocrisy.

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I also find it interesting that people on here think this is the only family to ever have a child go astray.  Just because they are a Christian family, the non-Christians assume they need to be perfect.  Sorry folks, even Christians won't be perfect until they get to heaven.

 

And it isn't that I'm trying to defend Josh.  It is just that you all are acting like this is something that never happens in non-Christian families and that the entire family is to blame.

 

Not one person on this thread has stated or even insinuated that the Duggars are the only family to have a child go astray.  Neither has anyone said or insinuated that this never happens in non-Christian families.  The people posting on this thread, most of them Christians themselves, do recognize the fact that the Duggars' extreme religious views have perhaps aided this behavior in continuing.  Perhaps, just perhaps, if Josh had received actual help when he young, we would not be having the conversation today.

 

Do I believe that Christianity made Josh behave the way he did?  Of course not.  That's ridiculous.  Do I believe that their particular view and that of ATI created an environment that did not help Josh get real help, and tends to blame the victims?  Yes, I do.  

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It was the Duggars who made themselves public figures by choosing to work in politics to legislate their brand of Christianity and morality. They support the idea that homosexuality should be punishable by death (a focus of FRC), and that women to do not have the right to make personal health care decisions w/their health care providers. As a former executive director of FRC, Josh Duggar focused on raising funds to deny and limit civil rights on the basis of gender and sexuality. the Duggars are part of our political landscape by their choice. JD lived a lie. Of course he's going to face backlash for that hypocrisy. Read his own statement.

Exactly, the FRC talks about family values and the sanctity of marriage. My brother and his husband would lose custody of my nieces if the FRC had their druthers. Yet, neither my brother or his husband has ever run around on the other or tried to invalidate the legal family status of others. They spend their weekends together, fixing up their yard and coaching their daughters' soccer teams. That's family values. That's actually respecting the sanctity of their marriage. It turns out straight people of faith don't have a monopoly on family values.

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Actually, you can. ATI is a cult. So anyone involved in ATI are members of a cult.

This isn't quite accurate. There are people in the cult whole-hog, but also people who use ATI curriculum type stuff who barely know who Gothard is. It really does run the gammut from making-your-own-denim-jumpers, to what you would consider normal people who just think it's another Christian curriculum. If you hear someone is "involved" with ATI, that can mean a lot of different things. There's also people who use the curriculum for years in a reasonable sort of way and then go to an IBLP conference and RUN AWAY because they get freaked out by Gothard and his teachings.

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I believe what Josh has done is horrible. He has given Christianity a big black eye in the world's view even if many Christians don't agree with him or his type of Christianity.

 

Some want a better apology from him but why does he owe any of us an apology? He didn't cheat on us. If anything he owes the people he harmed an apology which would be his family, fans, and other Christians. He placed himself on a pedestal as an example of moral Christian character, failing miserably, but not every Christian put him there.

 

He owes all of society an apology. He owes me an apology for trying to turn society against my innocent daughter. He owes me an apology for trying to torn society against my son. He owes them not only an apology, but he should be on his knees in front of them personally, taking personal accountability for trying to use them as pawns in his delusions for creating a xian utopia in our backyard and in foreign lands. I don't care what every other xian thinks of him. I care what he's trying to do about my family, and about my community, and about humanity in general, and how he works to achieve his goals. 

 

You may say he owes the apology to LGBT community because of his vile actions while on the pedestal but that is a different topic. If you feel strongly about his opposition to LGBT rights, go after him for those reasons. The fact that he accused them of low morals while cheating is a convincing point when considering whether he should be in a position of authority on the topic. 

 

The topic is one in the same. He peddled himself as an example, not just a loudspeaker. He capitalized on fear-mongering and promoting lies for the sake of oppressing certain people on the grounds that they deserve it because of sexual immorality. You cannot get more directly related than that, unless we find out he had gay lovers as well. 

 

However, his failures morally doesn't mean that everyone that is in opposition to LGBT rights is of the same despicable character.

 

Please link or quote the comment on this thread that states everyone who is in opposition to giving equal rights the LGBTQ community is the same despicable character as Josh Duggar.

 

You ignored my last request. I wonder if you'll ignore this as well. 

 

Of course you'll have to because no such post exists. 

 

Unless I'm wrong.

 

Please, prove me wrong.

 

As for his wife's choice on how to handle his infidelity, shouldn't that too be her own? Her choice? I remember another man that had many policies that people all over the country disagreed with, he was in the top position of authority in this country, and once his cheating came to light, he was forgiven by his wife. Most agreed that while his actions were horrible, what he does privately as a consenting law abiding citizen should not be a factor in determining if he was a good president. I am not saying that the situation is exactly the same but there are enough similarities that we should pause and consider if this was our family, friend, or person that represent our views would we be as harsh if the roles were reversed.

 

Leave the Duggars alone because Monica Lewinski? Really?

 

The Duggars have been a topic of conversation, inspiration, affection, entertainment, and yes conflict since I've been around these boards. Now people should shut up because they embarrassed themselves?

 

Because other people have embarrassed themselves? 

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People on here just seem to look for reasons to bash Christians and especially ones like the Duggars.  I guess they don't have a life otherwise.  I don't understand it.  If you don't like them, then just ignore them.  That isn't that difficult.  If they were telling the people on here how to live their lives, they would be furious.  I guess it only goes one way.

 

Um, that's EXACTLY what Josh has been doing! Telling people how to live their lives. The whole family has made a business out of doing exactly that. And yes, I'm pretty furious. 

 

Oh, and FYI, I'm a Christian. I'm not bashing Christianity, I'm tossing tables in the Temple and driving out the money collectors. 

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It was the Duggars who made themselves public figures by choosing to work in politics to legislate their brand of Christianity and morality. They support the idea that homosexuality should be punishable by death (that was a focus of FRC) . They have also worked tirelessly to legislate againt basic health care, including birth control for women. As a former executive director of FRC, Josh Duggar focused on raising funds to deny and limit civil rights on the basis of gender and sexuality. the Duggars are part of our political landscape by their choice. Of course they are going to face backlash for that hypocrisy.

Again, I get making judgements on things that are public knowledge. I don't understand the continued statements about what Anna knows or doesn't know, what she feels or doesn't feel, what she will do, what she must do according to various people on the internet (i.e. we will never know if she or her kids get tested for stds), what Josh thinks or doesn't think, where Anna's parents must be (example, how does anyone know she isn't on the phone with her mom daily for support? We'd never know that, and yet someone's asking where her parents are, as if they need to update publicly what they are doing). I just don't understand this aspect of the conversation.

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This isn't quite accurate. There are people in the cult whole-hog, but also people who use ATI curriculum type stuff who barely know who Gothard is. It really does run the gammut from making-your-own-denim-jumpers, to what you would consider normal people who just think it's another Christian curriculum. If you hear someone is "involved" with ATI, that can mean a lot of different things. There's also people who use the curriculum for years in a reasonable sort of way and then go to an IBLP conference and RUN AWAY because they get freaked out by Gothard and his teachings.

You can't have the ati curriculum without going to the seminar, which involves drinking enough of the koolaid to even want to sign a bunch of stuff and fork over a lot of money. You can't use ati homeschool materials and not even know who gothard is.

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You can't just make a blanket statement assuming that all people involved in ATI are cultish. 

 

Well, I will say that all people involved in a cult are in fact, involved in a cult. I've never heard the term cultish before. But ATI is a cult. People who follow ATI teachings and base their entire lives and business persona on said teachings are in a cult. 

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You can't have the ati curriculum without going to the seminar, which involves drinking enough of the koolaid to even want to sign a bunch of stuff and fork over a lot of money. You can't use ati homeschool materials and not even know who gothard is.

Some people do pick up bits and pieces second hand or even for free. I saw a bunch of their junk at the thrift shop just a few months ago.

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As for his wife's choice on how to handle his infidelity, shouldn't that too be her own? Her choice? I remember another man that had many policies that people all over the country disagreed with, he was in the top position of authority in this country, and once his cheating came to light, he was forgiven by his wife. Most agreed that while his actions were horrible, what he does privately as a consenting law abiding citizen should not be a factor in determining if he was a good president. I am not saying that the situation is exactly the same but there are enough similarities that we should pause and consider if this was our family, friend, or person that represent our views would we be as harsh if the roles were reversed.

 

For myself, I pray that Anna gets the help that she needs to make the best decision she can for her family whether that includes Josh or not. It will be difficult either way and in the world's eyes someone will always be disappointed in her choices. For this reason I hope she is able to make the decision for herself and kids alone.

 

Only speaking for my democratic self, I was absolutely disgusted by his behavior in the Oval Office.  Disgusted.  And I thought his wife should kick his ass down Pennsylvania Ave.  I remember pointing out to some politically like minded friends if it had been someone of another party in office, they would singing a different tune.

 

Wrong is wrong.  Or at least that is what I was taught.

 

eta:  I also hope Anna gets the help she needs so she can make the right decision for herself and her children.

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Wasn't there a thread somewhere about the weird video where the man collected his wife's toilet water for a pregnancy test? You'll never guess....

Wait...are you going to say he's a Gothardite?

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Only speaking for my democratic self, I was absolutely disgusted by his behavior in the Oval Office.  Disgusted.  And I thought his wife should kick his ass down Pennsylvania Ave.  I remember pointing out to some politically like minded friends if it had been someone of another party in office, they would singing a different tune.

 

Wrong is wrong.  Or at least that is what I was taught.

 

eta:  I also hope Anna gets the help she needs so she can make the right decision for herself and her children.

 

:smilielol5:

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You can't have the ati curriculum without going to the seminar, which involves drinking enough of the koolaid to even want to sign a bunch of stuff and fork over a lot of money. You can't use ati homeschool materials and not even know who gothard is.

This simply isn't true. I think we have some of their stuff here, not used or purchased by me but passed on from well meaning relatives. I found out who Gothard was completely independently of having those books in a box in my garage. I didn't connect the dots till much later.

 

I know more than one person who has picked up their stuff at a used book sale. I've heard people post about the stuff here on WTM, that they've gotten it this way and had no idea it was Gothard stuff or who he was.

 

I know people who use it, purchased from ATI and don't go to the seminars or "submit" to Gothard. I think they are wrong in that I don't think there's anything good to pick out even without Gothard, but they use it that way.

 

As much as he would like to, Gothard can't totally comtrol books once they get out there or how they are used. And since this stuff has been around since the 80's, unfortunately there's a lot of it floating around for unsuspecting people to find any number of ways.

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Um, that's EXACTLY what Josh has been doing! Telling people how to live their lives. The whole family has made a business out of doing exactly that. And yes, I'm pretty furious. 

 

Oh, and FYI, I'm a Christian. I'm not bashing Christianity, I'm tossing tables in the Temple and driving out the money collectors. 

 

:agree: WWJD? Well, tossing tables and beating people with a whip is not beyond the scope of possibility...

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:agree: WWJD? Well, tossing tables and beating people with a whip is not beyond the scope of possibility...

 

I rather like the ideas of stocks and rotten tomatoes.  I've got a bucket of rotten tomatoes my chickens won't eat.

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Wasn't there a thread somewhere about the weird video where the man collected his wife's toilet water for a pregnancy test? You'll never guess....

 

 

Wait...are you going to say he's a Gothardite?

 

 

He was caught on AM.

 

?????

 

I'm trying to broaden my education.  I didn't know about Ashley Madison, or the Subway guy.  Collecting the wife's toilet water?  Didn't she flush?

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