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Would you buy house with pool if you have young kids?


mathnmusic
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Title says it all.  We have 5 kids, ages 11, 9, 5, 3, and 9 months, the oldest 2 kids swim well, the younger ones don't swim at all but can toot around the pool water wearing Puddle Jumpers (floaties).  We've rented during all our 12 years of marriage and have been looking to buy a house for a majority of those years (don't ask - this is a sore point in our marriage!).  We finally found a good house that seems perfect, except...it's got an inground pool in the backyard.  It's fenced in all around to about 5 feet tall, but closes with a regular latch, not the self-latching kind.  Hubby doesn't want to buy it because of the pool, paranoid of the unthinkable happening to one of our kids.  He wants to fill in the pool (hugely expensive!).  My realtor thinks it's not a big deal, suggests we just put a heavy duty chain on the gate with a lock that only parents have access to.  Yea, that sounds good to me, but I hear about drownings in the news, how quickly and silently they happen, which scares me (I'm distractable, usually doing a million things at once).  The thing is, this house is perfect for our family in every other way.  What would you do??  

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

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Yup, we did!

 

Lock the gate. No big deal! And if you go to pool supply websites, there are many, many safety products available. Pass code locks, electronic locks, good ol' keyed locks. We have an alarm system on our house, and when our kids were very little, I set the alarm to CHIME function, so that anytime a window or door was opened the chime would sound to alert me. So if I was working in the kitchen and the kids in the basement opened the door to the pool, the chime sounded and I could see what was going on. You don't even need the alarm to be connected to an alarm company if you don't want to pay the monthly fee. It can just be a home alarm.

 

We use our pool constantly and our kids have literally been swimming since they were itty-bitty. It was a perfect purchase for us. We host pool parties, have their friends over, etc. all the time. With the climate here, we're able to use it almost 5 months out of the year.

 

The only drawbacks for you are:

1) Expense of upkeep: chemicals, pumps, opening and closing

2) Resale. Not everyone wants a pool (as you know), so it may be harder to sell. For us, this wasn't an issue. We were looking to settle down for a long, long time. We wanted a house for US, not as just a short-term investment.

 

So, I say go for it! Especially if you love the house in all other ways.

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Do you want a pool?   Would you use a pool?  Those are the questions I'd be asking.  Lots of families enjoy having a pool, and there are ways to keep it safe.   I probably wouldn't buy a house with a pool, because, for my family, it wouldn't be worth the hassle. 

 

Don't let fear drive your decision. 

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We did.  We were meticulous about keeping the pool locked up when not in use.  Get a lock for the pool.  Kids who could not swim had to keep a life-vest or swimmies on.  At parties someone was always designated as life-guard...that meant they couldn't socialize or go swimming... their job was to watch the pool. 

 

We had a window and a sliding glass door in a heavily used part of the house (kitchen window) with eye contact to the pool...  I'm also very distractable and doing a million things at once - esp. when my kids were littles.

 

In the 19yrs we lived there we had 1 close call.  It was not a child climbing the fence or attempting to use the pool when we weren't around.  It was because I wasn't paying attention when my kids were swimming with cousins.

 

But, that said... the pool was a lot of work.... mostly for me.  They are expensive to keep in working order.  How big and old is the pool?  The bigger and older the pool the more expensive it will be.  Also, depending on where you live, it can be more or less expensive.  In the south, where pools are more plentiful, it seems they are less expensive - esp. upkeep and maintenance/fixes.

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We wouldn't buy a house with a pool even though our boys are 16 and 19 and good swimmers.  The hassle would in no way be worth it to us.  And I've never personally known anyone who bought a house with a pool who didn't eventually regret it.  But note that's my experience.  I'm positive there are people who've had the opposite experience. ;)  I would say that if you (and your DH) really like the house then go for it, with the realization that you'll have to be super extra vigilant for at least a few years.  I'm not sure I'd go to the expense of filling it in right away.  You can always do that eventually, but with the age of your kids you'd probably get some good use out of it.

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We have always had at least an above ground pool, love it. Ensure the fence is secure, ensure it cannot be climbed over (I don't know about the USA, but in Australia laws about pool fencing are very strict, even restricting trees near the fence in case a child climbs the tree to jump over)  and that the lock is completely secure and out of reach, and the older children know that, absolutely, under no circumstances, is a younger child allowed to be in the pool area without a parent. Oh, and I personally would never put the plastic covering over the pool, if a child does jump in they'll be tangled in it and it's far more dangerous in my mind. 

 

Having said all that.... Kids can be taught that something is dangerous, and there are safeguards in place. I'd go for it

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Yes!  The kids will grow up and will use it all the time!  It's a great place for them and their friends to hang out.  I'm so glad we have our pool.  Once you get used to the maintenance it's not so bad, and soon your kids will be old enough to vacuum and help take care of it :)

 

Do get a self locking gate and provide any other precautions you can.  We hired friends/lifeguards any time we had a party...that was my biggest fear, that something would happen when all the adults weren't paying attention. 

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I would, but I live in an area with long hot summers and very mild winters, where a pool can stay open all year (though it's too cold to winter swim without expensive pool heat). Many, many people here have pools, and there are so many safety devices and procedures to keep little kids out that I wouldn't hesitate to have my own backyard pool.

 

But if I lived in the north, where it freezes and you actually have to winterize your pool, or where there are only a few months of warm weather swimming, it wouldn't be worth the hassle.

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No, between the risk (and you have to consider other children who might wander over, in addition to your own) and the upkeep, I wouldn't want to deal with it.
Even going to a pool with a 5yo, 3yo and baby sounds tricky to me--isn't even the shallow end too deep for all three of them right now? Pools here often start at 48" deep.

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Absolutely! Just get a very secure lock for the gate. The families I know that have pools absolutely love them, and we live in Canada so they don't even get as much use out of them as most people do, lol. We have drownings happen in our area too, but in general those happen in homes where the pools are right off the back deck/patio and not fenced off. There's a reason most home insurance policies specify that they'll only insure a pool if it's completely fenced off, and once it's fenced they don't have a problem with it.

As long as the fence is in good shape, I say go it! :)

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Yes, we have a pool and I have children ranging from 1 to12. The oldest two spend hours every day in the pool and I try to swim at least once a day with the babies. The two year old has gone from absolutely terrified of the water to being able to doggie paddle, jump into the pool, and use the sides to creep along to the steps. When my children were younger, I didn't want a pool, but after one hot summer when my kids couldn't spend anytime outside, even in the evening, I changed my mind.

 

I take the safety precautions talked about in prior posts and I'm vigilant when anyone's in the pool. We have floaties for the babies that keep them on their back; from my experience, regular life vests will keep babies and toddlers face first in the pool, because they can't kick over.

 

As far as upkeep, you can get a service or do it yourself. Daily I spend 10 minutes to check pH and chlorine and clean out debris then another 30 minutes once a week to brush the pool and to check the other chemicals and add them if needed. We did have a service company briefly, but after watching the pool guy, I realized he wasn't doing anything I couldn't do. Google trouble free pools and check out the website. The information there has helped me keep my pool clean and the people are very knowledgeable.

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It depends on where you live. Here in New Jersey, NO!! I see it as a big space in the yard that I can only use about 1/4 of the year. I would rather my children play in the grass and go to the Y for swim. If I lived in Florida, California, Texas or the like? Yeah I would love it for my children! You would get a ton of use out of it and it would be a feature of the yard rather then a wasted space most of the year. Somewhere in the middle? I would have to know the climate and my children's temperature tolerance to decide. 

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We deliberately did not. Besides the safety of our own children, we entertain often, and I worry about other children unfamiliar with the rules/pools.

 

That, in addition to the maintenance and expense, put pools in a definite no category for me.

 

OTOH, I know people who love theirs, so it is clearly a family-by-family decision.

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We have a pool with a child fence. I don't like it. Safety wise, if you bought the house I would recommend immediate swim lessons with you/DH or a professional. Even infants can learn basics.

 

It takes about 1-2 hours per week to maintain, more if there's problems, plus storage of dangerous chemicals (or pay someone $100 per month just to maintain, plus tons of water and electric use). I have very strict rules for using the pool and I would prefer having a yard to play in.

 

However, if you've been house hunting for a long time I'd consider it. If you just started searching I would pass. ITA if you have short summers it wouldn't be worth it IMO. Having a pool can be fun with kids but there's a constant concern if friends can swim, monitoring crazy antics, etc.

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I was all ready to say NO!, but then I saw the pool was fenced off from the back yard. I think that is more manageable. A toddler isn't going to climb a 5 ft fence or safe crack a lock to get access to the pool without you knowing. I've known two families that lost 2 or 3 yos to drowning and one was an unfenced lake that bordered their yard and one a pool that had a fence that was open to the back yard and accessible from the house. I think your description of this pool is much safer for children than those were.

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  It's fenced in all around to about 5 feet tall, but closes with a regular latch, not the self-latching kind.

 

 

 Hubby doesn't want to buy it because of the pool, 

 

 

latches and hinges can be replaced.  my sil replaced all the fencing around her pool with wrought iron so you could actually see through.  has a self-closing spring, and she keeps it padlocked.  (they bought when their kids were small - and now have small grandchildren.)

 

I think your dh is looking for an excuse to still not buy a house after 12 years.

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I wouldn't but not because of safety concerns but rather because the climate here makes it unnecessary and it would be a lot of work and expense for an area with less than a month of truly hot weather a year. If you live in a climate where pools are common and useable most of the year and the costs can be kept down, sure.

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We love our pool. You can get a lock for the fence or an alarm system for increased safety. You can prioritize swim lessons. Our rules include no kids in the fenced pool area without an adult, even though my 3 older are very strong swimmers. Maintaining a pool is a decent amount of work. Your 11 and 9 yos can help with that. We had a similar discussion when we bought a place with a pool. We do not regret the decision. Also consider heating costs. We hire a lifeguard for parties or events where there are many kids, just to be safe.

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Our pool had a fence that would be hard for an adult to scale and the lock worked so good I had trouble getting in. Ours was in a separate section of the yard so still plenty of grass to play on (and mow).

 

We had friends with a much bigger pool and she had a list of rules posted you had to agree too. If you didn't know how to swim she would teach you.

 

My brothers pool has a cover you can walk across.

 

We had a weekly pool service so I rarely had to be the one to deal with the chemicals, etc.

 

Ours did have a crack one time and had to be drained and cost a ton of $$$$. My mother still complains about the pool.

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My parents bought a house with pool when the youngest was about 3. They had a safety net installed and kept the doors locked. I'm sure having a locking gate would be great for safety. I wouldn't want to have a pool though because of all the upkeep. 

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We would, even without a gate. I'm was raised around pools and it's perfectly possible to train kids to be around them safely,Bergen before they can swim. It does take supervision, but so does a house near a road, with a gate, a deck, a trampoline, etc.

 

Life is risky.

 

The reason I could see for not having a pool is the hassle, not safety :)

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Not if I have anything to say about it.

Our house is on the market and we're looking for a (much) larger home. Several that we love otherwise also have an in-ground pool on the property. 

 

I know far too many people who have lost, or nearly lost, children in water incidents. Of these, a couple involved pools. These are parents who took every "precaution" - high fences, alarms, etc. Just this morning a mom in a Catholic homeschool group I belong to asked for prayers for a friend who pulled her 3 year old from the pool unconscious. 

 

I want my kids to be able to play in the backyard without me. I have one kid who is a climber - a kid who can scale almost anything (and definitely any fence).

 

Not. Worth. It. 

 

We're looking for a home in a subdivision with a pool. I don't want one (or a lake, or a creek, etc) ON our property. 

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Our current house had an above ground pool when we made an offer on it. The pool removal was a stipulation of the sale of the house. I didn't want the safety issues (there's already a 3/4 acre pond to worry about) nor did I want to worry about maintaining it. The smell of chlorine makes me ill, so it needed to go!

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I wouldn't buy a house with a pool while I had young children. The pool could be locked down like Ft. Knox but I would never be able to relax. Or sleep. It's just not a chance I want to take. My experience is colored, I suppose, by a tragic child drowning in my husband's family. I love to swim and could see having a pool when I feel youngest and middle are quite a bit older.

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When we were buying our first home our kids were 1, 2 and 4. I was terrified of a pool so we avoided one (we live in the desert so lots of in ground pools). We lived there 12 years and I learned that that was a mistake. There wasn't anything to do all summer except swim and so I had to drag them to community pools all summer in 110+ degree heat. And pack water and snacks and disrupt nap times for littles etc. while at home they really were stuck in the house so more TV/video games were allowed then I would prefer

 

2 years ago we were in the market for a new house and I insisted on a pool this time. Our kids are now ages 18-1. It is expensive but I really appreciate being able to just go for a dip and cool off without having to cart everyone around. Big kids can swim while babies nap or I'm getting stuff done and just checking in.

 

It is expensive but it has been 100% worth it. It was not fenced so we put one in. You can probably replace the latch to be the self closing kind. You do have to be vigilant but I have seen that kids raised around pools and who are in the water a lot are more water safe then other kids. There are also the baby swim lessons.

 

I worry more about my kids drowning while at someone else's house then at home. Out of routine, more people, distracted parents and such and like I said everyone has a pool so you just have to be on alert anyways.

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The other thing to consider is if you wait until your kids are old enough not to be a risk, grandkids are not that far off. That was why we secured the pool with a permanent fence right away. I wanted it safe for grandkids or visiting kids etc. it can't be climbed by toddlers and by 3-4 they understand the rules and it's just not been a problem.

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Title says it all.  We have 5 kids, ages 11, 9, 5, 3, and 9 months, the oldest 2 kids swim well, the younger ones don't swim at all but can toot around the pool water wearing Puddle Jumpers (floaties).  We've rented during all our 12 years of marriage and have been looking to buy a house for a majority of those years (don't ask - this is a sore point in our marriage!).  We finally found a good house that seems perfect, except...it's got an inground pool in the backyard.  It's fenced in all around to about 5 feet tall, but closes with a regular latch, not the self-latching kind.  Hubby doesn't want to buy it because of the pool, paranoid of the unthinkable happening to one of our kids.  He wants to fill in the pool (hugely expensive!).  My realtor thinks it's not a big deal, suggests we just put a heavy duty chain on the gate with a lock that only parents have access to.  Yea, that sounds good to me, but I hear about drownings in the news, how quickly and silently they happen, which scares me (I'm distractable, usually doing a million things at once).  The thing is, this house is perfect for our family in every other way.  What would you do??  

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

 

 

Can you spend a little bit and get a self latching?

 

I have a friend whose grandson died because the gate was not self latching so not having that feature would be a deal breaker for me.

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We did. It was a little scary, but I'm glad we did it. DD14 was 2 at the time, and I considered getting an alarm on the door, but she was scared of the water so it wasn't a concern. Our pool is a 4 foot, 13,000 gal. above-ground permanent pool. We impressed on the kids that if we ever caught any of them in it without permission, we would take it down. I don't know what we would have "threatened" if it were an in-ground pool. 

 

We live in a part of NC that is very hot and humid. Having a pool is the only way my kids would get to spend much time outside in the summer. When cousins and friends visit, the pool is great fun for the kids. I didn't get to swim much as a kid and I'm still not comfortable in the water, but my kids can swim in the deep end and aren't afraid of diving when they're in a deep enough pool. 

 

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Title says it all.  We have 5 kids, ages 11, 9, 5, 3, and 9 months, the oldest 2 kids swim well, the younger ones don't swim at all but can toot around the pool water wearing Puddle Jumpers (floaties).  We've rented during all our 12 years of marriage and have been looking to buy a house for a majority of those years (don't ask - this is a sore point in our marriage!).  We finally found a good house that seems perfect, except...it's got an inground pool in the backyard.  It's fenced in all around to about 5 feet tall, but closes with a regular latch, not the self-latching kind.  Hubby doesn't want to buy it because of the pool, paranoid of the unthinkable happening to one of our kids.  He wants to fill in the pool (hugely expensive!).  My realtor thinks it's not a big deal, suggests we just put a heavy duty chain on the gate with a lock that only parents have access to.  Yea, that sounds good to me, but I hear about drownings in the news, how quickly and silently they happen, which scares me (I'm distractable, usually doing a million things at once).  The thing is, this house is perfect for our family in every other way.  What would you do??  

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

 

I would not buy this because of safety issues coupled with financial issues.  To maintain a swimming pool correctly is expensive, going from what pool owners have told me.  (The kind of pool owners whose children swim competitively, so they are picky about maintaining their home pool.)

 

My son just bought (and moved into) a house with a large in-ground pool in the back yard.  The seller had started destruction of the pool, with intent to have it filled in, and my son is going to complete the task himself.  He does not anticipate the cost to be a huge burden, and I know he does his homework on home repairs/renovations.  

 

That a fence already is in place speaks well for the situation.  Good locks can be obtained.  Your two oldest children may be responsible enough to stay away from the pool (and not climb the fence for entry).  Neighborhood children might not be.

 

Now I shall read other people's replies.   

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How much will the pool add to insurance costs? 

 

I wouldn't do it because of safety. Also, I am in an area where a pool would only be used 3 months. Perhaps, if I lived in a place of year round warmth I would consider something with every possible safety feature. I know there are areas where it might be difficult to find a home without a pool. My SIL lives in southern CA and every house on her street has a pool, so saying "no" to a pool might make it hard to find a place. 

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Some of it depends on budget and the cost of land.  Land is really expensive around here, so very few people have a pool and ample space to run and play.  In that case, I'd choose the grass.  But if I could afford a pool that was totally fenced, and a yard outside the pool fence, that would be lovely.  Especially if it was heated, and I could also afford a pool boy.

 

My first choice would be a community with a community pool that was very close to the house.  Or maybe, I'll really dream and imagine that I live in one of the resort communities by Disney where you have a community pool with waterslides and what nots, and a little heated lap pool with a hot tub that inside a covered/screened porch.  You've got options when it rains, and when it's sunny, when it's cold and when it's warm, when you want to be social or alone with just your family. . . 

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We did! Best thing ever! We bought the house when we only had one child who was 6 months old. We had a pool fence installed. When the kids were toddlers, we enrolled them all in ISR swim lessons. When our older two reached about 5 and 8, they were able to swim without me being in the pool with them. For the past three years (my older two are now 11 and 8), my older two kids go swimming from May-September at least 5 days a week for 2-5 hours each time. Great fun and exercise for them! My youngest, now 3, swims almost daily as well with them.

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I think having a pool would be fun for my children, but I would worry about safety.

 

BUT the main reason that we would not buy a home with a pool is because having one limits the potential buyers for your house when you want to sell. Even if you think you will live in your house for a very long time, you might not, so always consider resale.

 

We have owned four houses in our fifteen years of marriage. Three of them we thought would be our forever home, until they weren't. Each of the homes had a feature that we decided that we could live with, even though we didn't care for that part of the home. Guess what? When it was time to sell, the potential buyers didn't like those things, either, and each house was on the market for a very long time. So resale value and marketability was a major component of our decision this time around.

 

In many markets, a pool makes a home harder to sell. So I wouldn't buy it unless I could get the house for under market value.

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I LOVED owning a home with a pool. We had a baby, 2 yo, 5yo and 8yo when we built ours. I would highly recommend swim lessons through Infant Swim Resources, if there is an instructor near you. Our 2 youngest learned to swim when they were babies- no joke. At 2, our ds could touch the bottom of our 7 foot deep end. We still had a fence, that was always, always, always locked. The pool added so much enjoyment to our lives.

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No, but more for the laziness/expense of maintenance than the safety issue. My oldest was very much the kid who followed the rules, even young, so if I told her to stay away from the pool she would listen. Now, my littlest one? Forget it!! She saw fences as a personal challenge. So I think you need to know your kids and whether they'll take your warnings about the pool seriously. 

 

I think a house with a community pool makes so much more sense. All the fun, none of the maintenance!! We've had community pools within walking distance of our house and we used to go every day, even with my kids as toddlers. Packing up the stuff wasn't a big deal as the pool had loaner sunscreen, band-aids, etc in case I forgot anything. When my kids were toddlers, the last thing I needed was another thing to maintain!

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1. Can you replace the gates with self-locking latches?

 

2. Will it increase your homeowner's insurance? If so can you afford the increase?

 

3. Can you or your husband afford and have the time for weekly/monthly/yearly maintenance?

 

4.How old is the pool?

 

5. Was it installed by a reputable builder?

 

6. Can you get a thorough pool inspection, including ALL support equipment by a qualified pool inspector?

 

7. Can you install a house chime tied to the fence so if anyone tries to gain entry you will know it?

 

8. Are you prepared to be extremely diligent and watchful when your kids are swimming? Neighbor kids?

 

If the house is perfect and you do the research on safety and cost and can handle that then I say go for it...but please consider the decision carefully.

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We passed up the "perfect" house because of a pool when my many children were very young. I cannot imagine the effort it would've taken me to keep everyone safe. We ended up purchasing a house with a neighborhood pool. If I were looking now, with everyone four years older, I absolutely would buy the house with the pool. If we had fewer younger children when we were originally looking, then yes we would have considered the other house.

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