I'm panicking! Why?! Am I panicking?*Update*

[Kerileanne99]

*update*

As of this morning I officially gave up Alex's spot at the Montessori school. I have so many mixed emotions, but the biggest is still worry. She says she wants to homeschool. I *Know* I could do absolutely nothing structured with her this year and she would still be radically accelerated. Alas, that is not my kid...

So I now must put together something that meets her needs of structure and moving toward something with our current home life. Going to need a lot of help and advice here😊

Thanks to all for the advice!

 

 

 

Alex will officially be a kindergartener this year:)

 

It is all very exciting...but I am in complete panic mode and have yet to make extremely important decisions. Can someone help me think this out?!

 

This last year she went to a Montessori preschool program part time and we 'did homeschool' the other days. She REALLY learned zilch at the expensive school, but who cared? She is radically advanced already, she had fun, and I was pretty much incapacitated with a difficult pregnancy. The teachers tried, and honestly, she had so many social and emotional hurdles that the focus needed to be there for a bit.

However, they all agreed that a change is much needed. We have always planned to homeschool as there is simply not a program near us that will come close to meetng her needs. The Montessori school had attempted to cobble together a program: she would attend part-time (never before allowed at Kindy) and I would still homeschool the core subjects. She would skip up to the elementary program in the am for academics 3 days per week and then go back to with the Kinders for 'specials' like art, music, and languages, and she would end up going to the Upper Elementary for math (so 4th-6th graders). And the kicker is we would pay full price for the privilege!

 

My gut says this is ridiculous. It won't work, and she already sees going there as just play time (which actually isn't a bad thing at 5!), but nearly $7500 per year is expensive play time. I feel like I KNOW I just need to commit to homeschooling.

Why is this so terrifying all of the sudden? I know most don't consider what we have done the last few years official homeschooling, but we have done so many curricula and programs to keep her occupied that I don't *feel* as though we are just starting out. But up until now it has just been fun, and surviving with a tsunami for a child. And she has blown through so much of it doing school with her part time. The thought of what she will get through if we are homeschooling daily? Absolutely terrifying to me.

 

And then there is the selfish part:(

My kid is...intense. In everything. The thought of having her home with me all day, every single day, wanting more and more and more is extremely daunting to say the least. And with a new baby as well as my medical problems/chronic pain issues? I am having a hard time giving up that safety net.

Oy. She says she wants to homeschool. But I know that when the year starts she will vacillate too.

 

A couple other considerations:

We live in an area where the coop is not really a viable option. She does to gymnastics/tumbling, piano, swimming, and a couple of other things. There are no supplemental classes she could attend locally.

She has attended the Montessori program for a year. During that time she has not made a single friend that she really cares about. She will interact with them a bit, talk at them, but really only wants to talk to the teachers. Zero play dates or interest in them.

Can I just say I also think about the options I could pursue for the $7500 annual cost?!

 

So...lay it on me. Gently please:). I feel like I *know* what would be best for her, so why am I freaking out? I have spent the last couple months researching and planning non-traditional subjects for a fun Kindy year so we can go in crazy different directions since I don't have to worry about the 'normal' stuff. She wants to learn programming, typing, and calligraphy. And more math of course, which is a thread all of its own...

[Incognito]

You'll be fine!  Don't panic.  You have met her needs through various avenues up to this point, and you will continue to do so.  The Montessori school was useful for a season, you'll find something else to spend your $7500 on that gives you the break you need and her some time doing something directed by someone else. :)  

 

How's that - feel any better?

 

I remember that first day of "Kindergarten" when I didn't send my oldest off to school too.  It felt really weird. While I knew we were making the right choice for our family, that didn't make it feel normal.  But we found good books, we found some friends to go on little walks with, and we worked our way into routines that worked for us as a family.

 

I suppose my advice to you is to work on having your daughter entertain herself for a designated amount of time each day so that you have some time where you can count on a little mental space for yourself.

[kiwik]

Can you use some of the $7500 to employ someone to give you a break?

[wendyroo]

Can you use some of the $7500 to employ someone to give you a break?

 

I agree.  If I had 7 grand to spend on schooling I would hire a Spanish-speaking mother's helper (Grandma or college student probably) to come care for one or both of the children 8-10 hours a week.

 

Wendy

[Kerileanne99]

I agree. If I had 7 grand to spend on schooling I would hire a Spanish-speaking mother's helper (Grandma or college student probably) to come care for one or both of the children 8-10 hours a week.

 

Wendy

Funny you should say this as I already have someone in mind:). I think it would work well, but I am one of those people for whom having someone in my house is almost more difficult for me. Maybe I just haven't found the right one yet.

Hubby teaches at uni, and there is no small shortage of students who might be able to help teach her any number of fun things as well as help out. We did this in the past when Alex was tiny and used so much ASL. But it is really difficult to work around their changing schedules and my dd gets very attached.

[Jackie]

You have my sympathies. Even though I know brick and mortar won't work, we still applied and went to check out a private school that had a mixed K-6 classroom. The idea of sending her to school six hours a day sounds so... relaxing. We live directly across the street from the public elementary and it's a bit tempting to just push her on out the door when they start on Monday.

 

In my ideal world, there would be a school that I could send her to for 3 hours a day, 2-3 times per week. They would only do "specials" and group projects and I would continue all core academics at home. This doesn't exist, however. I'm also thinking I will take part of the tuition we would have spent at the private school and hire a sitter for two afternoons per week. We live in a college town and energetic babysitters will be pouring back into the town in just a couple weeks :) Having an extra person in my house isn't always comfy, but I plan on mostly finding someone to take the kid out of my house - she has much higher social needs than I do and would love someone to explore parks with.

[rebcoola]

If having someone in your home is uncomfortable maybe you can find someone who will take her to the park or library to give you that break.  

[bakpak]

I'm not hung up on Montessori school, but was she able to interact with the lower elementary and/or upper elementary students last year doing school work, or did they only keep her in the Children's House? Did she get along well with those older kids (or does she in general)? If she was stuck with young kids except for recess, I'd expect her to have a different experience with the older kids than the younger ones, potentially. I can't believe they would charge you full-time rates!! Have you thought of trying her full time, or at least 4 days a week? Can you back out of the year contract with the school, or only if you move? Wondering if you could try it for a month or two and then drop if it's a poor fit. Can you discuss this with the school again?

 

Alex needs you to be on your A-game, so having her home full-time doesn't sound like the best plan for you. The mother's helper idea is a good one, but you still might not be getting a real break if they're still in the house when you're there.

[SeaConquest]

You have my sympathies. Even though I know brick and mortar won't work, we still applied and went to check out a private school that had a mixed K-6 classroom. The idea of sending her to school six hours a day sounds so... relaxing. We live directly across the street from the public elementary and it's a bit tempting to just push her on out the door when they start on Monday.

 

In my ideal world, there would be a school that I could send her to for 3 hours a day, 2-3 times per week. They would only do "specials" and group projects and I would continue all core academics at home. This doesn't exist, however. I'm also thinking I will take part of the tuition we would have spent at the private school and hire a sitter for two afternoons per week. We live in a college town and energetic babysitters will be pouring back into the town in just a couple weeks :) Having an extra person in my house isn't always comfy, but I plan on mostly finding someone to take the kid out of my house - she has much higher social needs than I do and would love someone to explore parks with.

 

Jackie, I am not sure where you live, but I just thought that I'd mention that this is exactly what the homeschool charter school my son attends offers. We live in California, and these types of charters are pretty popular. I believe some other states have similar schools. Anyway, just thought I would mention it.

 

Kerileanne, my son started homeschooling Kindy this past year. Like you, we had been afterschooling his private preschool education, but I still had a panic attack before our "official" homeschooling began. I had never imagined that I would homeschool my children (my husband was always the greater proponent); I envisioned them going off to a lovely private school, leaving me with ample time to pursue my own endeavors.

 

While I still relish the thought of having more free time, homeschooling has been great for us. We settled into a routine pretty quickly -- likely, in large part because we really had already been learning at home for so long -- and the freedom and slower pace of life has suited us very well. Even now, with my son going to summer camp every morning at 9 am, I hate the frantic rush out the door. You already know what homeschooling is like, and you know that you nourish your daughter's extraordinary gifts better than anyone else.

 

I agree with the others about spending some of the money saved on giving you the mental break that you will need, and do try to let go of the picture of schooling that you envisioned. If I were a betting woman (aww, who am I kidding, I love to gamble!) I would wager that this year will go more smoothly than you are imagining. :)   

[quark]

I woke up every single morning panicking. There was this deep, gnawing worry in my chest, I kid you not. It was a hollow sort of feeling like I was going to ruin him for life and could also not send him to school because he was already so traumatized and I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was a very stressful few months. Then I thought I'd try school at home and while it made me happy it made him even more miserable. And we burned out quickly. But I am glad this happened because in about a year or so, I already knew what was going to work and what wasn't.

 

We were very lucky to find a delightful coop when he was 5 and 6 years old. Depending on the semester, he went there either 2 days a week or 1.5 days. They did so many cool things and while he didn't make lasting friends (he was always the "weird" one who wanted to spend time with the teens vs the 5-6 years olds), he did meet a great many understanding, supportive adults (the parents who volunteered to teach there).

 

Haven't read all the pps...just my 2 cents: Do whatever you need to make yourself and Alex comfortable. I wouldn't spend $7500...but would have spent a third of that if it meant complete peace of mind (even if for just a few months until we found our groove).

[Kerileanne99]

You have my sympathies. Even though I know brick and mortar won't work, we still applied and went to check out a private school that had a mixed K-6 classroom. The idea of sending her to school six hours a day sounds so... relaxing. We live directly across the street from the public elementary and it's a bit tempting to just push her on out the door when they start on Monday.

 

In my ideal world, there would be a school that I could send her to for 3 hours a day, 2-3 times per week. They would only do "specials" and group projects and I would continue all core academics at home. This doesn't exist, however. I'm also thinking I will take part of the tuition we would have spent at the private school and hire a sitter for two afternoons per week. We live in a college town and energetic babysitters will be pouring back into the town in just a couple weeks :) Having an extra person in my house isn't always comfy, but I plan on mostly finding someone to take the kid out of my house - she has much higher social needs than I do and would love someone to explore parks with.

Jackie, that is my ideal as well. Even a half-day Kindy where she could just go have fun? Although I think I may be hung up on wanting her to have the fun Kindy experience I remember as a child. This kid is not me, and I actually think she would loathe what I loved:)

 

There IS a program I would dearly love to do whilst homeschooling...but it is 1.5 hours away. It is even called 'treeschooljng.' They meet 2 mornings per week and focus on art, hand crafts with natural themes such as weaving, music and so much more. They even meet once per month in a nature preserve and learn plant identification, animal tracks, etc. It looks wonderful, but I am not sure I could swing the drive by myself with the two kids and the wheelchair issue. If I could, we could also do the coop down there and maybe attend a fun class in the afternoons. I hate living so far from everything!

[Kerileanne99]

I'm not hung up on Montessori school, but was she able to interact with the lower elementary and/or upper elementary students last year doing school work, or did they only keep her in the Children's House? Did she get along well with those older kids (or does she in general)? If she was stuck with young kids except for recess, I'd expect her to have a different experience with the older kids than the younger ones, potentially. I can't believe they would charge you full-time rates!! Have you thought of trying her full time, or at least 4 days a week? Can you back out of the year contract with the school, or only if you move? Wondering if you could try it for a month or two and then drop if it's a poor fit. Can you discuss this with the school again?

 

Alex needs you to be on your A-game, so having her home full-time doesn't sound like the best plan for you. The mother's helper idea is a good one, but you still might not be getting a real break if they're still in the house when you're there.

They will let us do a trial period of six weeks, and in fact, this was suggested by them as they say they have never encountered a situation like ours before. She is such a hard mix of crazy acceleration and incredibly asynchronous social/emotional issues. In fact, up until recently I would have said she was on the very young side emotionally for her chronological age. This summer she has matured tremendously.

One of the things we have noticed is that whilst her neuropsych eval ruled out ASD, she does exhibit behaviors that are very similar. For example, she is a mimic of behavior...but hers ends up being just a little off or inappropriate, as though she doesn't quite get the social cues. When she is around the younger kids she acts very babyish. She adores older kids, and would love being in the class with 6-9 year olds. This summer she has been taking a tumbling class with mostly older girls and does really well with them. Unfortunately they all treat her like a cute little pet. The other day when I picked her up they were quizzing her:( 'Hey Alex, what is the cubed root of 729?!' And she loves the attention from the older girls, but this is exactly what we have always tried to avoid. I do not want her feeling like her worth/place/identity comes from crap like that. The poor kid just doesn't seem to fit:(

[Kerileanne99]

Kerileanne, my son started homeschooling Kindy this past year. Like you, we had been afterschooling his private preschool education, but I still had a panic attack before our "official" homeschooling began. I had never imagined that I would homeschool my children (my husband was always the greater proponent); I envisioned them going off to a lovely private school, leaving me with ample time to pursue my own endeavors.

 

While I still relish the thought of having more free time, homeschooling has been great for us. We settled into a routine pretty quickly -- likely, in large part because we really had already been learning at home for so long -- and the freedom and slower pace of life has suited us very well. Even now, with my son going to summer camp every morning at 9 am, I hate the frantic rush out the door. You already know what homeschooling is like, and you know that you nourish your daughter's extraordinary gifts better than anyone else.

 

I agree with the others about spending some of the money saved on giving you the mental break that you will need, and do try to let go of the picture of schooling that you envisioned. If I were a betting woman (aww, who am I kidding, I love to gamble!) I would wager that this year will go more smoothly than you are imagining. :)

SeaConquest-

I am so jealous of the program you have found for your son! I remember reading your description in another post and thinking how amazing it sounded. It would be perfect for us:)

And yes, not having to make that frantic rush out the door will be a huge pro for homeschooling. The logistics of getting dd5, backpack, diaper bag, baby and car seat, myself in the wheelchair to school is crazy. This summer Alex has been going to school 2 days per week so that she could have something to do whilst I am adjusting to the baby. It is SO difficult just to get everything in the car, and then into her school, and back home. Exhausting.

[Jackie]

Jackie, I am not sure where you live, but I just thought that I'd mention that this is exactly what the homeschool charter school my son attends offers. We live in California, and these types of charters are pretty popular. I believe some other states have similar schools. Anyway, just thought I would mention it.

I wish! I'll be in Indiana for two more years. Homeschoolers here generally love that we have no regulations. Personally, I would accept a whole lot of regulation if the trade off could be the types of opportunities that are available in some other areas. California is on the list of possible places to move when our time is up here, and I think the charter system might give us a few more outlets.

[SoCal_Bear]

I will put in my two cents that where you are in CA matters a lot. Seaconquest is in SD. Hybrid charters that cater to homeschoolers are common in this county. Less so in the LA/OC area. Nearly non-existent in the Bay Area and other parts of CA. So, where you are in CA matters a lot.

 

[SoCal_Bear]

dp

 

 

[Jackie]

I will put in my two cents that where you are in CA matters a lot. Seaconquest is in SD. Hybrid charters that cater to homeschoolers are common in this county. Less so in the LA/OC area. Nearly non-existent in the Bay Area and other parts of CA. So, where you are in CA matters a lot.

Good to know, thanks! We would be considering both San Diego and the Bay Area.

[Kerileanne99]

I woke up every single morning panicking. There was this deep, gnawing worry in my chest, I kid you not. It was a hollow sort of feeling like I was going to ruin him for life and could also not send him to school because he was already so traumatized and I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was a very stressful few months. Then I thought I'd try school at home and while it made me happy it made him even more miserable. And we burned out quickly. But I am glad this happened because in about a year or so, I already knew what was going to work and what wasn't.

 

We were very lucky to find a delightful coop when he was 5 and 6 years old. Depending on the semester, he went there either 2 days a week or 1.5 days. They did so many cool things and while he didn't make lasting friends (he was always the "weird" one who wanted to spend time with the teens vs the 5-6 years olds), he did meet a great many understanding, supportive adults (the parents who volunteered to teach there).

 

Haven't read all the pps...just my 2 cents: Do whatever you need to make yourself and Alex comfortable. I wouldn't spend $7500...but would have spent a third of that if it meant complete peace of mind (even if for just a few months until we found our groove).

Thanks for this:)

It helps to know that others have had that panicky, jump off the deep end feel. I really do think homeschooling is the only real option and the Montessori thing would only be an expensive stopgap.

 

The other day at swim lessons I watched Alex cautiously edge out on the high dive for the first time. Creeping slowly, slowly, inching out to the end of the board where she stood peering anxiously off into the water. It took her nearly 5 minutes, backing up, moving forward, crying, and worrying, begging to get down but not wanting to when we said yes. She finally shouted and wailed and did a cannonball off the end:)

 

I know exactly how she feels.

[quark]

It took her nearly 5 minutes, backing up, moving forward, crying, and worrying, begging to get down but not wanting to when we said yes. She finally shouted and wailed and did a cannonball off the end:)

 

I know exactly how she feels.

 

Woohoo! :hurray:

 

ETA: I know this is not the context in which you meant that anecdote...but my DS still won't do that unless he has a very, very compelling reason, like needing to save our dog's life lol.

[lewelma]

Hugs to you.  I've been there.  I think you are freaking out because your child is *intense*.  There are some kids who are intellectual, get-it-done kind of kids (my younger), but they are just not intense.  It is really hard to describe this phenomenon  unless you have had an intense child.  I have always said about my older: "He does 'nothing' very poorly."  If he is not learning or physically active or doing some sort of new field trip, then he is just annoying.  He bugs his younger brother, gets in my hair, gets moody, and generally gets in trouble.  This is why he has always been what most people would describe as overscheduled.  And it has not stopped really, it is just that now he can manage his own schedule.  40 hours a week of study, 18 hours a week of exercise, 3 hours a week of cooking (he is now in charge of family dinners), 10-15 hours a week of reading, etc.  He is just go go go.  Not always hyper mind you, but he always has a plan for what he will do, and then he does it.  When he was younger, I had to be this scheduler, and that was what was exhausting. Honestly, it did not let up until he was about 13 when he took over his own planning. 

 

But I will say to you that at age 5 I did not actually 'school' him.  I guess we just unschooled until he was about 7.5.  We went on field trips, and read books, and played games, and did lots of group activities with other homeschoolers, and did art, and cooked.  etc.  He did not even touch a math program until he was almost 7, and that was because I *finally* saw the writing on the wall (it just took me a while). So perhaps you don't need to plan to do schooling, just plan to do life, and lots of it. Would that be more or less restful for you?  I know it is hard for you, but getting my kid out of the house for long stretches was critical to his well being. I just would go to a museum, and sit in the corner and let him read and play with everything he could find.  Or we would go to a cafe and do art.  We were just OUT.  Perhaps that is what you could pay a 'helper' to do, take her out on field trips.  To the dump, the government house, the museum, the grocery store, whatever.  Just get the energy out out out.   Then get her home and give her some clay and tell her to create the government house, or hand her some poster board and tell her to diagram the flow chart of the grocery store, something that would take an hour or two. 

 

I know it is exhausting which is why it is scary IMO.  But honestly, I have come to believe that it would not have been easier on me if he had been in school.  I would have personally reaped the consequences of the bad fit.

 

Ruth in NZ

[Dmmetler]

They will let us do a trial period of six weeks, and in fact, this was suggested by them as they say they have never encountered a situation like ours before. She is such a hard mix of crazy acceleration and incredibly asynchronous social/emotional issues. In fact, up until recently I would have said she was on the very young side emotionally for her chronological age. This summer she has matured tremendously.

One of the things we have noticed is that whilst her neuropsych eval ruled out ASD, she does exhibit behaviors that are very similar. For example, she is a mimic of behavior...but hers ends up being just a little off or inappropriate, as though she doesn't quite get the social cues. When she is around the younger kids she acts very babyish. She adores older kids, and would love being in the class with 6-9 year olds. This summer she has been taking a tumbling class with mostly older girls and does really well with them. Unfortunately they all treat her like a cute little pet. The other day when I picked her up they were quizzing her:( 'Hey Alex, what is the cubed root of 729?!' And she loves the attention from the older girls, but this is exactly what we have always tried to avoid. I do not want her feeling like her worth/place/identity comes from crap like that. The poor kid just doesn't seem to fit:(

This sounds so much like my DD. what has worked best here is to divorce academics from social pretty much entirely. We do a "fun" co-op (that I was involved with starting, years back) and I started my interest groups so she had other kids that at least overlapped her a little, but academics just didn't work well with other people. Too asynchronous, too intimidating, and it did end up with the teasing, quizzing, making people feel bad stuff which she's react to. We did exactly what your school came up with when she was 4 in K-part time in K, 3rd grade reading with their "gifted" group, math with a group of older kids...and it just made her a kid without a country or peer group. It was better than full-day K, but she spent a lot of time hiding under tables.

 

I'll also say that I'd questioned the "Non-ASD" DX here until I saw her with other PG kids this summer. Suddenly, she fit in. She wasn't a poor imitation of their social behaviors, but right in with them, clicked, and happy. Truly completely, utterly happy, in a way she never is in any other group situation (and when I told a friend that, who has a GT, but not PG kid, she was hurt because I was implying that "the kids here aren't good enough....sigh. Mark that mom off the list of people I can talk to...). Which is why we're now revising our plans and looking seriously at programs that would give her a cohort of PG kids-not for academics, but for social reasons.

 

Unfortunately. I don't think there's a perfect answer for these kids. Not yet, anyway.

[Arcadia]

it is human nature to panic. Sometimes I think I am weird for not being able to panic, I get an adrenaline kick instead. Hubby is more normal and goes through panic -> annoyed -> action.

Do whatever you need to make yourself and Alex comfortable. I wouldn't spend $7500...but would have spent a third of that if it meant complete peace of mind (even if for just a few months until we found our groove).

:iagree:

 

We spent about $5k per child last year. Some not perfect choices but it was so worth it even if it was to find out the choices are not working out as hope. We are spending slightly over $9k per kid this academic year on German (B&M), Chinese (B&M), cello (B&M), math (AoPS online), science ((B&M hands on). The main cost is cello lessons though but since kids start late and is catching up fast, we aren't really complaining.

 

ETA:

Cost from the AoPS online classes and individual cello lessons that started in June is rolled over to this year's budget. That's why its much higher than 2014/15.

[rattfink]

I don't know that I can offer advice, but wanted to say I'm panicking too. My daughter isn't as far ahead as yours, but she missed the age cutoff for Kindy last year and would be fine in first this year, except they won't let her. She knows all the K stuff even though we only worked about 20-30minutes a few days a week last year. She doesn't want to go to school, but I have no idea how to help her learn all she wants while also dealing with two younger kids when the kids and I are all pretty intense, but in different ways.

 

So, no idea what to tell you other than that you aren't alone and good luck.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LTBernard]

it is human nature to panic.  Sometimes I think I am weird for not being able to panic, I get an adrenaline kick instead. Hubby is more normal and goes through panic -> annoyed -> action.

 

 

:iagree:

 

We spent about $5k per child last year. Some not perfect choices but it was so worth it even if it was to find out the choices are not working out as hope.  We are spending slightly over $9k per kid this academic year on German (B&M), Chinese (B&M), cello (B&M), math (AoPS online), science ((B&M hands on).  The main cost is cello lessons though but since kids start late and is catching up fast, we aren't really complaining.

 

That got me to wondering how much we spend on piano lessons in a year.  Now off to calculate that and cry a little at the number once I do figure it out.

 

[Kerileanne99]

Update in original post!

[Arcadia]

My oldest who need some form of structure in his day ask for a daily time table since he was around 3.

He would ask for the next day's plan before sleeping and he would plan out his day on paper while having breakfast. He is kind of like me, need to have a big picture plan but flexible in the details.

[Kerileanne99]

My oldest who need some form of structure in his day ask for a daily time table since he was around 3.

He would ask for the next day's plan before sleeping and he would plan out his day on paper while having breakfast. He is kind of like me, need to have a big picture plan but flexible in the details.

Yes! I am thinking I might give her a Montessori style work plan as she quite liked them. We could spend an hour or so doing subjects she might need me to get her started on (even math she prefers me to be close enough for checking but she wants to do it herself), and then let her do the other 'subjects' as she wanted. For instance, geography could be put on and she could choose geopuzzles, or apps, or coloring maps, or reading about places or just random googling of places or landmarks, the list is endless.

I am going to have to build a lot of that into the day with a new baby! Hopefully afternoons can be outings.

[rattfink]

My daughter needs more structure than I am good at providing. We have had the best luck with workboxes. I put them together the night before and then she can see what needs to be done each day really easily. I put a note to "ask Mom" if it is a box she needs me for or a post-it note with directions in each box. She works at the kitchen table so I'm always nearby since our kitchen and living room are all one space. It is much easier for me when she brings me her questions and works at her pace than it would be if I was having to hover and give her each lesson as she is ready for it. We tried it and I was spending all day ignoring the younger kids to teach her. She gets a ton more activities with the work boxes because I have a mix of required subjects and optional activities so there is always another fun box waiting when she is bored. FWIW, I use the 12"x12" scrap booking boxes from Costco since they stack so I don't have to worry about fitting them in a defined space on a shelving system. I have about 15 and I stack up however many I need on the floor. As she finishes each one they go back to the empty box stack to be refilled.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ebrindam]

You will do great! I started panicking after I received my NOI letter back from the superintendent. Somehow it being "real" vs. all the time before made everything SO MUCH SCARIER! 

 

 

*update*
As of this morning I officially gave up Alex's spot at the Montessori school. I have so many mixed emotions, but the biggest is still worry. She says she wants to homeschool. I *Know* I could do absolutely nothing structured with her this year and she would still be radically accelerated. Alas, that is not my kid...
So I now must put together something that meets her needs of structure and moving toward something with our current home life. Going to need a lot of help and advice here😊
Thanks to all for the advice!



Alex will officially be a kindergartener this year:)

It is all very exciting...but I am in complete panic mode and have yet to make extremely important decisions. Can someone help me think this out?!

This last year she went to a Montessori preschool program part time and we 'did homeschool' the other days. She REALLY learned zilch at the expensive school, but who cared? She is radically advanced already, she had fun, and I was pretty much incapacitated with a difficult pregnancy. The teachers tried, and honestly, she had so many social and emotional hurdles that the focus needed to be there for a bit.
However, they all agreed that a change is much needed. We have always planned to homeschool as there is simply not a program near us that will come close to meetng her needs. The Montessori school had attempted to cobble together a program: she would attend part-time (never before allowed at Kindy) and I would still homeschool the core subjects. She would skip up to the elementary program in the am for academics 3 days per week and then go back to with the Kinders for 'specials' like art, music, and languages, and she would end up going to the Upper Elementary for math (so 4th-6th graders). And the kicker is we would pay full price for the privilege!

My gut says this is ridiculous. It won't work, and she already sees going there as just play time (which actually isn't a bad thing at 5!), but nearly $7500 per year is expensive play time. I feel like I KNOW I just need to commit to homeschooling.
Why is this so terrifying all of the sudden? I know most don't consider what we have done the last few years official homeschooling, but we have done so many curricula and programs to keep her occupied that I don't *feel* as though we are just starting out. But up until now it has just been fun, and surviving with a tsunami for a child. And she has blown through so much of it doing school with her part time. The thought of what she will get through if we are homeschooling daily? Absolutely terrifying to me.

And then there is the selfish part:(
My kid is...intense. In everything. The thought of having her home with me all day, every single day, wanting more and more and more is extremely daunting to say the least. And with a new baby as well as my medical problems/chronic pain issues? I am having a hard time giving up that safety net.
Oy. She says she wants to homeschool. But I know that when the year starts she will vacillate too.

A couple other considerations:
We live in an area where the coop is not really a viable option. She does to gymnastics/tumbling, piano, swimming, and a couple of other things. There are no supplemental classes she could attend locally.
She has attended the Montessori program for a year. During that time she has not made a single friend that she really cares about. She will interact with them a bit, talk at them, but really only wants to talk to the teachers. Zero play dates or interest in them.
Can I just say I also think about the options I could pursue for the $7500 annual cost?!

So...lay it on me. Gently please:). I feel like I *know* what would be best for her, so why am I freaking out? I have spent the last couple months researching and planning non-traditional subjects for a fun Kindy year so we can go in crazy different directions since I don't have to worry about the 'normal' stuff. She wants to learn programming, typing, and calligraphy. And more math of course, which is a thread all of its own...

 

[sarahjokim]

I will put in my two cents that where you are in CA matters a lot. Seaconquest is in SD. Hybrid charters that cater to homeschoolers are common in this county. Less so in the LA/OC area. Nearly non-existent in the Bay Area and other parts of CA. So, where you are in CA matters a lot.

There is an excellent very small and unique school in the Bay Area for gifted children that offers full and part-time enrollment.

http://ourgiftedchildren.net

[Korrale]

As you know, James and Alex are very alike. Socially not there, defiant, stubborn but they love to learn.

 

If I had the funds, which I don't, I would be hiring tutors. Several if need be for several hours a week. Tutors that teach her in a second Or third language might thrill her.

 

Now because we are poor and I didn't want to send James to public school and buying curriculum (that he flies through) has been costing us a lot, I decided to do K12. Now I have heard a LOT of negativity about k12. And I know it gets no respect in the homeschooling world. But after several weeks I have discovered if is a lot better than I anticipated. If is amazingly flexible but it helps keep us on track. And James really likes it.

The history component is SoTW. It is a classical program. The labs for science have been good. Not useless experiments that serve no purpose. The use HWT without tears for handwriting..which we did not have to do. The Language Art program is HUGE and pretty amazing.

The kodaly based music program is pretty awesome. And I like the art program thus far. The math component has been meh. But we supplement with that.

 

We also skipped Kindergarten and started at 1st grade. He is required by state law to log 5 hours a day or about 25 hours a week. We meet that easily. Hours can be supplementary hours for things not on their lesson plan.

What I love best about k12 is that they will place her at her abilities for her core work. James was placed into second grade language arts immediately. He has a full math assessment tomorrow for math placement.

 

K12 in our state also has science fairs and spelling bee.

[Arcadia]

What I love best about k12 is that they will place her at her abilities for her core work. James was placed into second grade language arts immediately. He has a full math assessment tomorrow for math placement.

 

We only hit admin problems with our local K12 VA (K to 12th) when oldest started K12 algebra before he was 9.  The admin office was very unhappy about that and asked for all his math homework as well as extra work given by the admin to prove he can cope with algebra.  They didn't have any problem with him doing K12 earth science when he was 8 though.  For Language Arts they place him at the lowest denominator of his grammar, vocab, comprehension and writing skills. Since he does not like writing to a prompt, he just happily cruise for K12 LA.

 

It is the local admin that gives us grief so you could end up with a great experience like Scarlett have for her son.

[Dmmetler]

We decided against K-12 because they didn't, locally, go beyond Algebra 1 or 8th grade anything else. They were fine placing DD based on where she tested-until she tested into levels that the state virtual charter (only one in my state) had purchased. So do check and see what grade levels they offer.

 

The other thing that has been an issue locally is that kids who are beyond grade level still have to do the class connects with their assigned grade level, which often means that they have to at least keep slightly up with what the class is doing, especially if they're accelerated in science, history, or LA. It seems to be easier to get kids completely moved to a different grade, as opposed to being able to work through a higher grade's program, while also being held responsible for your official grade in math. I have a friend who's DD made it up to 5th grade content, but was still required to attend 5 hours/week of 2nd grade class connects.

[Korrale]

We only hit admin problems with our local K12 VA (K to 12th) when oldest started K12 algebra before he was 9. The admin office was very unhappy about that and asked for all his math homework as well as extra work given by the admin to prove he can cope with algebra. They didn't have any problem with him doing K12 earth science when he was 8 though. For Language Arts they place him at the lowest denominator of his grammar, vocab, comprehension and writing skills. Since he does not like writing to a prompt, he just happily cruise for K12 LA.

 

It is the local admin that gives us grief so you could end up with a great experience like Scarlett have for her son.

Yeah. I have heard horror stories. And to be fair we are only 3 weeks in. I have tweaked a lot of the lessons. To learn some simple vocab it is 7 lessons long with a quiz at the end. I have eliminated all the extra practice and instead use the vocab words throughout the week then he passes the quiz. This knocked out about 1/3 of the lessons.

The biggest complaint seems to be that there is too much busy work. But it is not all mandatory.... Yet.

 

The moment we start having issues we will go back to homeschooling proper.

[Korrale]

We decided against K-12 because they didn't, locally, go beyond Algebra 1 or 8th grade anything else. They were fine placing DD based on where she tested-until she tested into levels that the state virtual charter (only one in my state) had purchased. So do check and see what grade levels they offer.

 

The other thing that has been an issue locally is that kids who are beyond grade level still have to do the class connects with their assigned grade level, which often means that they have to at least keep slightly up with what the class is doing, especially if they're accelerated in science, history, or LA. It seems to be easier to get kids completely moved to a different grade, as opposed to being able to work through a higher grade's program, while also being held responsible for your official grade in math. I have a friend who's DD made it up to 5th grade content, but was still required to attend 5 hours/week of 2nd grade class connects.

With our states K12, class connects are not mandatory unless needed. James likes to go for fun. They are there for the students that are doing that particular work. Or they have remedial ones for the students who need it.

 

Once caveat is that science and history are content subjects and they don't accelerate those. However, for us we choose to just supplement with higher level work.

 

Our k12 does go to 12th grade. And dual enrollment is a popular option.