MrsWeasley Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 For those of you with daughters, when did your daughter start begging to wear make-up, have a "boyfriend," etc...? My eldest's peer group (7-10 year olds) seems to focus more and more on this. Am I really out of touch for thinking they are way too young for all of this? My eldest does not seem all that interested in this yet, but I've heard some "That's for babies" comments about her continuing desire for imaginative play, running around on the playground, etc... She really struggles making friends, and I'm unsure about how to handle this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 7-10 seems nuts to me. We are urban and have lots of PS friends and 13+ seems more typical. My dd just turned 11 and she isn't allowed make up (except for stage makeup - she dances). ETA - my 14 year old son definitely has NOT had a girlfriend and has not really expressed real interest in girls. He has some girls as friends. He's had girls flirt with him - he doesn't take the bait. LOL. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My twelve year old despises makeup and has never mentioned boys or dating. The girls she hangs out with are all dance obsessed and seem to talk about that more than anything else. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My daughters' friends were having 'boyfriends' and asking for cell phones and things at 9 and 10. I agree it seems awfully young to me and from what I've seen these early boyfriend/girlfriend things are a huge source of drama and have zero redeeming value. My daughter is just starting to enter a bit of the boy-focused phase and I'm comfortable with that considering she is 13, we just talk openly about it and try to encourage her to also have hobbies and interests of her own. BUT, there are always girls who are not jumping into the boy-crazy phase early. Maybe help your daughter find some like-minded friends. I know my friend groups kinda split around 6th/7th grade because some hit puberty early or were just geared towards being boy-crazy earlier and those of us who weren't I'm sure did seem suddenly babyish while our more mature friends baffled those of us who were still content to be imaginative and silly. By high school the groups settle in pretty well and everyone is comfortable with how they are. So your daughter might just need to start focusing on the more like-minded friends now rather than being able to wait until middle school like a generation ago. One thing, I have found that kids with a serious hobby/sport tend to be a bit more moderate and slower to jump into the boy-crazy thing, so if you could encourage her in that she might find more friends who she could chat with without needing to try to keep up with their dating talk :) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My dd is10.5 and no desire to grow up right now. She loves to run around and play. It does take a certain set of friends though. Her softball teammates are always on their iPhones and doing sleepovers. They seem readier to try and be older. And one came to a family party we had and wouldn't join the pool fun or some other games. I think part wanted to and part felt it was babyish. She was 11.5yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My almost 11 year old has no interest in boys. She does have the occasional fleeting interest in make-up, but I tell her she's too young and she's fine with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My DD was never into makeup or boys as a tween. She is just expressing an interest in limited makeup - some lip gloss and a bit of mascara, but hasn't really done it yet. I think having to wear stage makeup for dance starting young really turned her off of the whole makeup thing. She is just starting to show some interest in boys, but she isn't interested in dating or getting serious with anyone anytime soon. She has observed that there are a lot of younger girls at her dance studio that are very into makeup and crushes, and her opinion is that they are way too young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 7-10 seems nuts to me. We are urban and have lots of PS friends and 13+ seems more typical. My dd just turned 11 and she isn't allowed make up (except for stage makeup - she dances). ETA - my 14 year old son definitely has NOT had a girlfriend and has not really expressed real interest in girls. He has some girls as friends. He's had girls flirt with him - he doesn't take the bait. LOL. This was my experience with my oldest and her friends too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 My dd10 has zero interest in makeup, hair, clothes, or anything of that nature. It's literally a fight if she needs to wear something other than sneakers. Even flip-flops. She hasn't shown any interest in boys romantically; most her of her friends have always been boys, as she seems to have more common interests with them. Wait, I take that back -- she did seem to have a teeny crush on Thor for a bit after she watched The Avengers. But hey, who doesn't?? :D I do think the "boy crazies" are more common at this age in school settings, although I think my dd would be pretty much the same wherever she was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 Dd did show some interest when she was at that age. I allowed her some very limited exploration with make-up in softer girlier colors and that helped her feel like her interest was respected. Now at 13 she has absolutely no interest. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 For those of you with daughters, when did your daughter start begging to wear make-up, have a "boyfriend," etc...? My eldest's peer group (7-10 year olds) seems to focus more and more on this. Am I really out of touch for thinking they are way too young for all of this? My eldest does not seem all that interested in this yet, but I've heard some "That's for babies" comments about her continuing desire for imaginative play, running around on the playground, etc... She really struggles making friends, and I'm unsure about how to handle this. Mine didn't beg to do anything, except wear black high-top tennies when they first came out, lol. No make-up of any kind (except for playing in the house, or a performance of some kind) until at least 12yo, and then only a little lipstick. Not even nail polish. Certainly not blush or mascara. Nothing. No discussion. Absolutely no "boy friends" until at least 16. No discussion. If my dds' friends were that young and that focussed on makeup and boys, I'd be doing everything in my power to find new friends. Seriously. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I had friends wearing makeup at age 9. Mostly badly applied black eyeliner and frosted lip gloss. Luckily I've kept DD more sheltered from that sort of thing, but I think this is largely peer group related. I think nothing but clear mascara and chapstick is appropriate until middle school age, but after that.. I think a family guideline about what's appropriate is in order. As is a talk about "daytime" makeup and "night time" makeup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 DD started wearing makeup around 15/16. She had no desire to do so earlier. No boyfriend so far. She is 18 and finished her first year in college. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 BTW... I really think Lauren Curtis is a fantastic makeup guru for young girls... She knows a ton about makeup, many of her videos feature cheap brands, she wears very minimal makeup for every day, she's very open about how she was NOT glamorous, NOT interested in boys or fashion until much older than most of her friends, talks about being authentic and not fearing taking off makeup in front of boys, and even though she's practically a poster Glamazon now, as a kid she was awkward, chunky, sometimes bullied, and had lower than average looks. DD loves her, and the bit that I've heard her say I loved too. She's authentic, sweet, and encourages girls to be exactly who they are. She's far more interesting than any of the other makeup gurus we watch. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 DD14 has recently expressed interest in wearing sparkly eye liner, so maybe we are staring to see some interest that might lead to makeup in general. Boyfriends are outlawed here until age 16 - I want the kids to be firmly established with friends and high school before starting the whole dating thing. DD14 has started discussing young men with her friends, so she does notice them. Ages 7-10? Fairies and ponies got discussed as regular topics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 nm 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Rereading the OP, I see that the interest is not from her dd but is being put on her by peers. I agree with trying to find new peers. We found the Y with it's focus on sports and volunteering etc. to be a place where we found peers that were more in line with our values. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 ODD is all gym, all the time. Boys - "ain't nobody got time for that!" She'd like to wear makeup, but she knows that she'll get some when she turns 13. She gets lip gloss (clear or very light) and can paint her nails when she's not in season (but forgets most of the time anyway). YDD is very young, loves games and her toys, doesn't seem to care about makeup, but does have a teeny tiny adorable little crush on her one male friend, her BFF's brother. OP, your DD sounds perfectly fine to me and I'd probably go looking for other peers too. Both of my daughters still love imaginative play and running around on the playground, but they also get along fine with kids their ages in different settings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VANURSEPRAC Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 D12 is not girlie and has shown no interest in make up, fashion or hairstyles. My D12 has always been "young" for her age, I prefer it like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My dds are 13 and 15 and aren't like that even now. I did get them a makeover and some makeup for their 13th birthday but neither are interested in wearing it for anything other than special occasions. Neither have expressed interest in a relationship with boys/girls. They find the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing silly at this age (no car, no money, etc.). Most of their peers, at least the ones they've chosen as friends, are pretty much the same. Oldest has a harder time finding her place since she's now in high school and still doesn't care but those girls are still out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My DD is 13 and is just now allowed to wear a little bit of makeup (as in lip gloss and mascara--she's blonde so her eyelashes are invisible--but that's it). She doesn't express much interest in boys, with one...incident last summer that resulted in loss of cell phone privileges for a month. But we won't go into THAT. :D I think 7-10 is incredibly young for makeup and boys. Really, really young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghansMom Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My daughter turns 12 in October. She uses skincare-cleanser, toner, moisturizer and she can sometimes wear brown mascara and lip gloss. She thinks some boys are cute but not interested in dating or being anyone's girlfriend. She does love fashion and dressing up, accessorizing but beyond that, she is an outdoor, athletic girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go_go_gadget Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Well, my DD8 doesn't have boyfriends but she's been ''married'' since she was three. Her friend started asking her to marry him around the time they turned three (after telling his mother he was going to marry her, and his mother telling him he had to actually ask her. He asked if he could just ask me instead, which shows how well he knows my daughter :D). She turned him down repeatedly for almost a year, and shortly before they turned four, she left her lovey in the ballet studio (where they both took class), and since she was already buckled into her carseat her dad called Friend's mother and asked if they could grab it on their way out. Seconds later Friend came barreling out of the studio, lovey in hand, and ran up to DD's car door. She took the lovey from him and said ''Friend you are my hero! And I will marry you!'' She came home and told me very seriously that she needed some rings because she was engaged, and they exchanged the rings at Friend's fourth birthday party. Hers had a strawberry, and his a frog. They'll celebrate their fifth ''anniversary'' in a few weeks, and they're both very earnest about the whole thing. They just act like friends otherwise, though, nothing ''mature'' going on there. She doesn't ask to wear makeup, though I do allow both of my kids to wear nail polish (my son decided he wasn't into it anymore a while ago, but the door's open). She doesn't talk about boys being attractive, and happily plays with dolls and such. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My dd just turned 13 last week. She wears make-up when performing, lip gloss or light lipstick, brown mascara, and sometimes a little tan eyeshadow. I occasionally catch her with mascara on when she is going somewhere. She has friends who are boys but last summer when a boy at camp asked her to "go out" she told me she asked him, "What? Are you serious? I am only 12!" then "I don't have time for boyfriends, Mom." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Makeup---around 14-15 Boys and relationship stuff--Well, our whole homeschool teen group is largely uninterested in "dating" type pairing off. They seem to feel that they can have more fun in a huge group of mixed gender friends. And no, there aren't really that many courting families here. They think that there;s plenty of time for that kind of stuff in the future. My 17 yo thinks that exclusive dating is just too much drama to worry with in high school. my 13 yo agrees. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My dd is a month away from 10. She has to wear makeup for performances a few times a year and is very happy when it's time to take it off. She has no interest in boys. IMO, your dd needs a new group of friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My dds are 13 and 15 and aren't like that even now. I did get them a makeover and some makeup for their 13th birthday but neither are interested in wearing it for anything other than special occasions. Neither have expressed interest in a relationship with boys/girls. They find the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing silly at this age (no car, no money, etc.). We do makeup as a gift for the 13th birthday too :) I figure that way I can head off the interest and introduce the basic how-to's in muted and appropriate colors. It's fun to play with it before anyone expects you to be good at applying make-up. And yeah, I never understood boyfriends/girlfriends before they can drive cars or have money either. I didn't when I was in middle school either. I tell my DD all the time "yes, your 10 year old friend says she's dating him, but have they ever gone on a date? Has he ever picked her up and taken her somewhere to do something fun, eat a meal, etc. and then dropped her off back home? ..... No? Then they are not 'dating' because they've never been on a date." We don't have an age requirement on dating but I've been clear that you can't just call any guy you like a boyfriend because he checked a "yes" box on a class note and calls you sometimes, lol! Our kids can date when they can actually GO on a date ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My daughter is nearly 10, no makeup but not many people in our circles wear it regularly so it's just not really on the radar much. Boys is another story, she's been boy crazy since she was 6. She was flower girl in a couple of weddings and went a bit romance-mad! She's had some deep feelings for a couple of nice boys which was basically just her emotions and fantasies running amok. All my efforts haven't really affected this very much, though I was boy crazy and married at 18 so she comes by it honestly :laugh: . She's absolutely not allowed to have a boyfriend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My elder daughter recently turned 10 and has no interest in any of that kind of thing as yet. She's just a horse-mad little girl whose idea of a good time is to gallop around outside and pretend to be a show jumping pony. Surely the whole "having boyfriends" thing is all talk and no action in that age group? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My 9 yr old is very interested in lip gloss, though we stick to clear when we go out (leave the tinted or sparkly stuff for around the house). We do fingernail polish (usually just on the toes); that's the extent of her makeup usage here. DD's not hugely boy-crazy, but she does adore the neighbor boy (11) who is a daily play-mate. He has 3 siblings not yet in school, so he's used to playing with younger children. :D They do video games, card games, art or science projects provided by me, figurines, outdoor sports play, water guns. My DD's other best friend is 8, but she's also homeschooled and is very young/innocent. No makeup or boy stuff there, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickerplum Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My 9 year old is interested in nail polish (we stick to pale colors) and uses lipsmackers type chapstick (but nothing that turns her lips colors). Other than stage makeup (ballet) she will wait until she's 13 or later, depending on interest. She is starting to care a little more about clothes and hairstyle (ie "Mom can I just have a ponytail/leave my hair down?") She's not boy crazy. Heaven help us when she is, though. With our girls so close in age I'm hoping we avoid interest in the same boy some day. She had a friend (had because we moved) who was highly interested in makeup (would get into her mom's, put play makeup on right before they needed to go somewhere) and was waaaay boy crazy by 7. We began limiting interaction with this friend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 well, my ds, who just turned 10 on tuesday, was at an open skate at our YMCA last week adn he was "asked out" by an 8 year old. I was like "WHAT?" And he said she skated up to him and said he's cute, and does he want to go on a date with her. He was like "um, I really don't know who you are" LOLOL. He was shocked. That was also the same day that 3 boys asked him if he was "gay" because he dyed the front of his hair pink and likes to lipsynch songs like katie perry. He actually took those comments as compliments ;) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 For those of you with daughters, when did your daughter start begging to wear make-up, have a "boyfriend," etc...? My eldest's peer group (7-10 year olds) seems to focus more and more on this. Am I really out of touch for thinking they are way too young for all of this? My eldest does not seem all that interested in this yet, but I've heard some "That's for babies" comments about her continuing desire for imaginative play, running around on the playground, etc... She really struggles making friends, and I'm unsure about how to handle this. I'd find a new peer group. Fast. My dd is 14. She wears no make up, and likely won't...ever. I don't. We're more sporty, life is good, Yankee-easy style. I also think most make up makes teen skin issues worse, so I'd encourage her to avoid it until her skin is done being teen-y. If she wanted to wear it, at this age I'd be ok with it and we'd do it lightly and tastefully. Boys.... She knows they're there but likes them being friends. I think she doesn't want to be distracted from her goals. Her friends are all the same way. Not anti-boy, not weird-awkward, not girl-power, just more friends and date later when it's more appropriate. We do not encourage flirting at all. We discourage (strongly) boy/girl hugging as casual friends. We've talked often about waiting for dating until well into college or at an age where looking for a spouse makes sense. We highly encourage making and being a wonderful friend to lots of interesting, diverse people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. I think the teen years are a great time to learn to be a great friend as a training ground to being a great spouse later. I will say that my dd best buds are all entering sophmore year... (Traditionally schooled aince 6th grade)... There is much more interest, but still not the silliness you mention. A little make up... More "dating" than I would allow, but lots of parental involvement and groups only stuff... Crushes but not flirty stuff... All that to be said, peer group is very important. I'd look for a new group - maybe new activities, a new sport, church group... There are loads of nice, reasonably maturing kids out there - from any school option - that would be a better fit for your family. It's worth tthe time to find them now, because as they get older it will be critical. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 DD has loved makeup since she was tiny. Why I will never know as I don't wear it. I allow lip gloss and nail polish on her toes. I will allow her to play with makeup in the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I have boys, but our group of friends is very co-ed. There have been some boy-girl little twitters where some kids tease. A few kids seem to have first "crushes" at age 9 or 10, but they're very abstract. Some of the girls and boys seem to have more interest in looks - dressing "cool" and so forth. But mostly they're all still in the imaginative play phase and they still play together. There is really no focus on this and what minor signs I've seen started around age 9 - definitely nothing at 7 - that's so little kid! When I've seen there be a focus on that stuff, it's often from school kids, not the homeschool crowd. So I also say find new friends if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My 11 year old has no interest in boys, she's very much still into younger kid things play wise. She loves nail varnish and has an interest in make up but doesn't want to wear any as she has really really sensitive skin and doesn't like to annoy it. She has jet black long eye lashes though and I think if she didn't then she might be asking for mascara. Her best friend is 14 but not really interested in all that either at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cottonwood Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Makeup..DD has always had a strong interest in it but was only allowed clear gloss at 12, at 13, lightly colored gloss and at 14, shadow with a hint of mascara. And most days, she doesn't even remember to reach for any of it. Boys... i know she likes boys but isn't allowed to date any time soon. In her peer group there is one set of sisters that are boy crazy and have been for a few years, but the others in her peer group do not act that way. The peer group that hangs out the most is 11-15. For DD, I'd say a REAL interest in boys hasn't hit yet. 7-10? No.There are so many wonderful age-appropriate stages as a CHILD to go through at that age. I would personally encourage her to not rush this short time and do not allow anyone else to make her feel the need to jump into more adult habits and behaviors. There was a time in which I had to work on finding DD a different peer group because as the kids all grew, some girls grew mentally very differently and were encouraged by their parents to grow up way too fast. I ddin't announce it to DD but I slowly started doing things with others that were 8 yr olds who were still 8 yr olds. You may have to do the same it it starts really affecting your DD in a negative way. I mean, she didn't totally cut the other girls out but the time she spent with them, I intentionally decreased..a lot. One thing I've learned is influence from peers is HUGE ...HUGE. It begins to be bigger to kids than influence from us, so if she can be surrounded with like-minded kids (what ever that is), as much as possible, it will be easier all the way around. It's work, but this has really paid off w/ DD. Now that she's approaching 15, she is starting to seek out friends who think more like her about these things on her own. She's still friends with the boy crazy sisters but when she's with them, she tells them she's not into that, and changes the subject. She has ALWAYS told me she feels sorry for girls who rush it because it's a fleeting time and you have the REST of your life to be an adult. Hmmm...someone is listening. LOL But I started having these conversations with her very young because of the peer group at the time being way too mature for the age. OP, how does your DD feel about the mature things her friends are into? Is she interested, too? Or is she confused or disinterested? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Dd wears eye makeup almost every day. She's 15, a rising sophmore. We let her have mascara at 14, in 8th grade. I told her I did not want her to go thru the Racoon Eyeliner stage too young--and she is old enough that she can apply it correctly. 10yo is way too young. Dating starts ideally around 16 or older here--she's made some mistakes and we have had to help her re-earn our trust. I think a lot of the boy stuff is hooked into puberty hormones. Peer group, standards in pop culture, school culture, family culture--all plays a part. You can control some, but really, teens are best parented by relationship, IMO. Some firm boundaries, some negotiable ones, pick your battles, listen to what is behind requests--sometimes asking for makeup and boyfriends is about a lot more than meets the eye. Knowing that can take some of the scary out of it--make sure you define terms, too, to find out if the words mean the same to both of you. My 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My friend said that with her eldest son that peer group at that age was into the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. She thinks it was because of the influence of the loudest, most popular girl who was into that think. She said with her other two kids the boyfriend/girlfriend thing wasn't even really mentioned at that age. Same neighborhood. Same school just 2 to 3 years apart. I do know that my niece who is recently 11 has had a boyfriend for about a year. I'm not sure if it's the same one or what. But he gave her a valentine present. ETA: You asked about girls, but I'll add for my boys. Eldest just recently turned 11. Youngest is 9 1/2. They have no interest in romance. They are still into imaginative play, ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 DD doesn't want that sort of stuff yet (and was insistent that the male friend she made at science camp is an "Age appropriate opposite-gender companion", NOT a "Boyfriend"), but she's definitely getting more and more peer focused (to the point that she's ready to pack her snakes and move 2000+ miles), 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My public schooled 11 year old is not the least interested in boys at this point nor are most of her friends. Every now and then she will want to put make up on as part of her play time. My older daughter had her first boyfriend at age 17 in her senior year. She started using make up around 16 if I remember correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 BTW, I was talking to my friend whose girls are in private school. She's a teacher at her kids' school so she's somewhat aware of the dynamics at play. She says that the peer pressure for boyfriends is a big deal. When all or most of your friends have paired up and you are sitting there alone, it feels crummy. She believes that is a lot of the reason that many of the girls have boyfriends in middle/high school, even though many of them know the relationship is kind of going nowhere. There's also a "status symbol" thing that goes on with having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. If you don't have one, you're kind of a loser. :( I'm sure these insights don't apply to all groups of kids, but that's what we talked about. I was even more thankful for my dd's group of friends where those dynamics just aren't on the radar. I might start poking around for a new peer group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 We start makeup at 12. I'm pretty loose that way, I guess. We start boyfriends at 18. :) That being said, my dd13 has a great guy friend. We encourage friends of all ages, and sexes. It's the exclusive boyfriends that we do not encourage till 18. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I'd be looking for new friends. start with new interests and places to hang out. My girls were well into their teens before make-up and boys -but the kids they hung out with were more academically oriented too. with both groups, guys were part of the group with which they had intellectual discussions, or participated with in sports - rooting for each other. 2dd bff she met in 6th grade are now both doctors in their fields. eta: I didn't really set ages, etc. for things except for ear piercings they had to be 12. dating was 16 - and encouraged to be in a group. (they weren't that "into" boys anyway) if they wanted to wear make-up, 12/13. (they really weren't interested. but I'd had an eye infection from hades - my dr had to assure me my vision would come back, my overall health has never been the same - and had stopped wearing make-up. I'm sure that had an influence upon make-up.) what I *did* do was encourage them to excel in academics from a younger age because that is something that would serve them their whole life. and make them better moms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 DD doesn't want that sort of stuff yet (and was insistent that the male friend she made at science camp is an "Age appropriate opposite-gender companion", NOT a "Boyfriend"), but she's definitely getting more and more peer focused (to the point that she's ready to pack her snakes and move 2000+ miles), Hahaha, she cracks me up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I need to find DD7 some new peers. She doesn't have many friends and her closest friend, who is also 7, is starting to head in this direction. I liked it better when they were 3. ;) So right now I would say "no" for my daughter, whose idea of makeup is getting face paint that makes her look like a cat. But I'm keeping a close eye on her friend, who has been given a TV to keep in her room and who watches program for older kids. She's been talking makeup and has been catty about what some of the other girls are wearing. Yes, at 7 years old. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I need to find DD7 some new peers. She doesn't have many friends and her closest friend, who is also 7, is starting to head in this direction. I liked it better when they were 3. ;) So right now I would say "no" for my daughter, whose idea of makeup is getting face paint that makes her look like a cat. But I'm keeping a close eye on her friend, who has been given a TV to keep in her room and who watches program for older kids. She's been talking makeup and has been catty about what some of the other girls are wearing. Yes, at 7 years old. :glare: Our biggest problem at that age were the neighbors - not just the girl who was younger than dd but a lot more into make up and boys but the mom who focused on taking her dd to spas and beauty pageants. She would offer to take dd along and it always made me look like the Grinch when I would say no. I was so relieved when they moved. I don't think that make up is "bad" in the sense that I don't think there is anything moral attached to it. But young girls have a beauty that doesn't need any enhancement. And there are so many other priorities in life, in my opinion. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Our biggest problem at that age were the neighbors - not just the girl who was younger than dd but a lot more into make up and boys but the mom who focused on taking her dd to spas and beauty pageants. She would offer to take dd along and it always made me look like the Grinch when I would say no. I was so relieved when they moved. Yep, this is a neighbor, which makes it difficult. Luckily they don't seem to have the spa/pageant inclination, but they have the mom who's more of a friend than a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 My 11 yr old is definitely not interested in boys or makeup, and it would not surprise me if she never became interested. She is interested in friends and having more independence. My 13 yr old is interested in boys, but a bit too sophisticated for the few goofy boys her age that she knows. I've said 13 is too young to date and she gets it. She likes to wear lipstick and mascara and is pretty subtle with them. She likes fitted, cute clothes, but is pretty sensible overall. However, I've had foster kids in the 6-10 yr old age range come to live with us bringing makeup and trashy clothes who talked of having boyfriends. I think it might be an economic or social class issue or maybe an indicator of exposure to inappropriate adults? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waa510 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 My oldest is 8 1/2 with a peer group in the same age range as your kiddo (7-10) but no, none of the kids are interested in boyfriends or make-up. Oldest is very honest and open with me and tells me that she notices boys a little but she doesn't want to be anyone's girlfriend b/c that "would be weird, Mom!" Both of my girls love the concept of make-up but I think it's more of a fun-play interest and not a trying-to-be-hot-for-a-boy interest. They both have a couple Lipsmackers chapstick tubes that don't even color their lips but they treat those tubes like fine china!! This is all we'll allow until 13, most likely. I agree that your daughter needs a new peer group. I think I have a good statistical spread here..with kids from lots of different religious backgrounds and geographical areas of the U.S. and beyond. None of these 7-10 yr old girls are into make-up or boy-crazy. They all play with chalk on the sidewalk, walk our pug around the neighborhood together, play jump rope, ride bikes/scooters...that's what kids this age should be doing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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