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Were the diagnoses from a psych?  What were they?  Achievement scores are the same thing the ps looked at.  My guess is the fact that you're having such a hard time making things happen IS because of the disability and evidence of the disability.  And you're right that sometimes the structure of school can help.  Our ps could offer a lot of structure and behavioral supports I hadn't thought of, but they had no one certified in OG to give him appropriate reading instruction.  Total deal-breaker.  

 

We learned a ton through the IEP process.  About killed us too, lol.  Hopefully you learn some things and are able to make a good choice.  Legally, you can write that request NOW and get the timeline going.  Don't go undercutting yourself.  If you gave him instruction, provide a paper trail of it and show it.  You don't want them putting him into RTI and dragging stuff out forever.  Legally they can do RTI, but they would have to get the RTI done within the overall window for the IEP process (120 days).  

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Well, every school is different, but I would research IEPs and testing now. The request can go in now but I don't think summer counts. Each place/state is different but find out the max timeline. Our state was 60 days. In that timeframe we had already gotten a battery of tests from multiple specialists and pulled out to homeschool before they tested. A lot of the problem is the slowness of the school. But the farther behind, the sooner the testing.

 

The reason I say to research it now is because it is confusing. You want a well worded request with specific tests if possible. I think if a test is listed they will do that test but if the request is generic they will do generic testing.

 

Make sure to email the principal or school psych every week or two to see how testing request is going. They will not do thorough eye exams or hearing so I would do that through your Health insurance now before school starts.

 

I would also look closely at learning disabilities and how they are treated at the school. As OhE said, they may not actually have a specialist. Our school had a generic reading specialist. There was no OT for dysgraphia and it would take 3 months after testing to get one. Plus the regular classroom is still requiring the writing and reading despite the disabilities.

 

If your DS is just behind due to lack of exposure he will catch on with time but may struggle a lot. If there are LDs there are a lot of variables on what his day at school will be like.

 

You can do general research on LD at national LD websites. If you mention specific concerns we may be able to help some with specific ways to remediate for the summer. (Hugs)

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Fwiw, children with LD fight intensely the subjects they have struggles with because it is so unpleasant for them. So if you are getting a ton of resistance with whatever subject, it could easily be d/t underlying LD, not parenting.

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Fwiw, children with LD fight intensely the subjects they have struggles with because it is so unpleasant for them. So if you are getting a ton of resistance with whatever subject, it could easily be d/t underlying LD, not parenting.

This.  It's not you; it's the disabilities.  If he didn't have the disabilities, you wouldn't be having these problems, not to this degree.

 

Can you get an ADHD vs. ASD eval privately as well?  That's a pretty serious question to leave up to the ps. 

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What is RTI? We had an iep meeting last month, and he needs to have the assessments by the end of October. I am hoping that once he is enrolled, they can do it sooner. His diagnoses are dyslexia and dysgraphia, and the school will be doing screens for adhd/asd. But I don't know how they can tell the difference between "he can't read because he has dyslexia" and "he can't read because nobody has taught him to read." How can they tell the difference between a child with adhd and an undisciplined child who has never been taught to sit still and be quiet? How can they tell the difference between a child with asd and a child who hasn't had enought interaction because mom's a hermit and never goes anywhere? The testing with the psych wasn't that extensive--just iq and a short achievement test. I am afraid that I have set him up for a lot of difficulty in life. :(

 

I am not sure how I prove I provided instruction. Our state doesn't require record-keeping until 8 yrs old, so I haven't kept extensive records. I have some workbooks he has done, and some scribbled notes of what we have been doing. I guess I could type up the notes, but anybody can type up anything, kwim? And frankly, when I look at where he is, it is obvious that I have not provided adequate instruction.

RTI, I am sure you know, is short for response to intervention. Basically, it's used in the classroom is to identify children who may not be meeting standards and help them with interventions before they fall behind. The thought processes good I suppose. It's meant to keep kids from getting behind. Unfortunately, the experience I've had, as well as many others who have children learning disabilities, is that the RTI process delays official testing and specific treatments.

 

For instance, a student who has trouble writing might get pulled aside for a separate group in hand writing with a teacher. And since the teacher is working with the student closely, the student tends to not fall any further behind or not as quickly. However because of this process, formal testing may not happen for a year or two more years because A lot of schools have requirements for testing only after failing to meet standards that are many grade levels below the norm. So, this student who has a true dysgraphia is not even tested for the learning disability for a couple of years. In the meantime, they are not getting specific occupational therapy treatments that are necessary for dysgraphia. The same goes for many other diagnoses.

 

You mentioned ADHD, many pediatricians can screen and diagnosis this. If you wanted to, you can go online and search for Vanderbilt forms. They have teacher and parent forms that are good screeners for ADHD. It is not just about sitting still but other activities. The same goes for ASD, there's some other stereotypical behaviors that's not just about strict social interactions.

 

As for dyslexia, they do have specific testing that is highly correlated with dyslexia versus not having been taught. A lot of people with dyslexia have difficulty with phonics and sounds that letters make. If he knows or has been taught the sounds of the ABC's he would be able to be tested on this. For instance they might ask him a fake word like dat and ask about the sounds that make up that word.

 

Another recommendation I would have is when you have spare time to look at the dyslexic advantage website or YouTube channel. They have very thorough and great informative lectures regarding dyslexia and dysgraphia. And since they are on YouTube you can listen while you're doing other things. Some of them are geared toward professionals so may be too much for right now, but I believe they have some general information ones as well.

 

As far as remediation, I think that depends on what he is able or not able to do. I assume he will be going into second grade? The majority of second graders are required to write and read most of the material that's given to them including math, science, social studies, and language arts, and reading. If you could get a book list ahead of time and he meets the diagnosis of dyslexia, there are organizations that have books that are on audio tape for students, such as learning Ally, as well as the national Association of blind.

 

If he is still reversing letters and numbers I would try to work on that over the summer.

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Wow, you really ought to turn that around and recognize that IS what's happening in the public schools.  With the high illiteracy rates in our country, you don't think that has ANYTHING to do with their crap teaching?  Have you seen the hubbub right now about the secretary of education knowing nothing about dyslexia?  Or how about the irony that the ps spend money on interventions but refused to get the ONLY evidence-based intervention?  

 

So while you're slinging it, make sure you're slinging it the right direction!  ;)

 

Yes, 6 yos are easy to teach.  Yours isn't because something is wrong.  No, the ps is not adequate to decide the ADHD vs. ASD question.  You need a clinic or psychologist that specializes in ASD.  I would encourage you to look into it.  Who did his SLD diagnoses?  Did they not screen?  Was it a psych?

 

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I'll try to check back later, but I wanted to say that if there is a true learning disability, it is common for most parents and children to not work together smoothly all the time. It takes quite a bit of effort and finesse to find the right curriculum, the right time of day, the right mindset, the right incentives, and everything else to go along with it. We haven't been doing this as long as a lot of other parents. Maybe only a year or so. But there are still quite a few difficult and challenging days, that have me wondering what are we doing. I also don't want to imply that you are not doing the right things, just that maybe you're going through the normal part of the process that a lot of people with children who have learning disabilities go through. I should do a poll to see if moms who have kids with LD are less patient than with neurotypical kids or have more stressful days on average. I think so just because of the intensity and high intervention needs on a daily, hourly, and even minute basis. For me alone I think I spend hours most weeks on the Internet learning more about LD as well as homeschooling. This has been going on for close to two years. It's easing up a bit but for me it's been a new challenge and I'm constantly evolving.

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Typically, achievement testing is compared to WISC scores.  With the IQ subtest information, you can compare achievement testing with what is expected WRT IQ.  Were you given IQ scores?

 

My DS was diagnosed ADHD based upon the results of a computerized NEPSY test.

 

Dyslexia is a phonological processing issue that can be identified through specific testing.

 

My DS has both dyslexia and dysgraphia which is an organic brain difference.  I hate walking on a stair stepper.  When DS gets upset or is not excited about school work, I remind myself that his SLDs are like being on a stair stepper except that he has no choice.  Accommodations seriously help these kiddos.

 

Good luck with the school.  He needs direct, explicit, and mulitisensory reading instruction with an OG reading tutor, 3 hours per week.  That is the ideal.  If the school pushes more sight word instruction, pull him.  

 

 

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Start the paperwork. Talk with the school.

 

I never realized how severe my kids' issues were until I had a NT kid.  I didn't realize how very dang hard we were working until I had some outside perspectives.

 

Unless you have been neglecting doing school on a regular basis (just flat out not doing it), I'd stop the self-flagellation and just move forward. Start the clock on the IEP process and go from there.

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No, you should not have been doing school 6 hours a day.  Mercy...The difference between my DS and DD learning to read is astounding.  I spent maybe 2-2.5 hours per day with my NT child.  I actually hired a tutor to work with DS.  Content areas have never been an issue for DS.  He watches documentaries, listens to audio books, and loves hands-on instruction.  For DS, dysgraphia means slow handwriting with sequencing/organization of output type issues.   

 

The school's response to your son's dysgraphia diagnosis reveals an astounding ignorance if they base handwriting upon legibility alone.  The DSM now breaks handwriting down into two types of issues.  The written expression disorder, which addresses the sequencing type issues, and developmental coordination disorder, which addresses legibility due to motor control type processing issues..

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You need to finish out the evals then.  She was giving you the big hint.  That spread on the verbal and performance IQs can in and of itself indicate a diagnosis (non-verbal learning disorder).  

 

I think you gave your ds normal instruction.  Now you have a diagnosis and need to step it up with dyslexia-specific materials.  The problem is you don't have a complete diagnosis to know what ELSE you're working with.  If this lady can do that, how about going back and finishing with her?  The ps is very likely to get this wrong.  Seriously.  You cannot assume they'll get it right.  Their goal is to deny services by denying labels.  If you want accurate info, go private.  Sometimes, just sometimes, the ps will get it right.  In general, you really need to go private for complex situations.

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Well, I am not going to sit here and attempt to dissuade you from using the ps system.  I had no interest in homeschooling my DS 8 years ago.  I felt the work was way beyond me and like I was totally out my depth.  My heart changed when he was in 4th grade.  By 5th grade, my mind was made up and I pulled DS mid-year.  DS has a ton of friends.  DS went back for one more year of school, and that time convinced him of his need to be home.  DS loves being homeschooled now.  He types his work, and it is not an issue.  Our lives became simpler.

 

I appreciate where you are coming from.  You can always place him in school and re-evaluate as time progresses.

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We have been doing LiPS for four months. 5-6 days a week, by the book. Today he could not tell me that D represents /d/, and tried to convince me that /t/ is a tongue cooler. A few weeks ago We went back and started again with consonant sequences with one sound, pull down mouth pic, swap for color, swap for letter. After several weeks, he can do two sounds about one in ten attempts if I stick to the first three brother pairs. Before we started, he almost passed the Barton screen-he missed it by one consonant sequence. We have tried the screen twice since we started, and he does worse each time. Somehow, doing LiPS with me is worsening his auditory processing and working memory. He needs somebody who doesn't suck at this. We can't afford private tutoring. I have to believe that the public school will not cause him to get worse and worse, like I am.

 

Edited to rephrase...

 

I think public school is a fine choice, but I don't think you should justify sending your child to school by beating yourself up. I am afraid you aren't sure what to do, so you are convincing yourself you've done a poor job so that you can decide on public school. Please decide on public school with confidence that it's what's best for you and your child right now. Even if the only reason you send him is that something has to change so that you can feel good about making solid decisions in the midst of stress, that is a good reason. 

 

You sound like you wanted to end your homeschool career with a confirmation of your own self-perception during obvious frustration. I really hope that you get what you need from this IEP process, and I hope that you are able to find a better place, but I don't think any of us are going to agree that reasonable interventions with evidenced-based approaches (some of which various members here use) make you a bad teacher.

 

We'd like to help. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug: , and not just for show. I hope you'll either come back to this thread or start a new one. I wouldn't be opposed to giving you a list of reasons why PS could work--just not on the back of "mellifera must be a bad teacher."

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I just wanted to chime in about the timeline for the schools to complete the evaluations and IEP. They very well may try to give themselves extra time, citing something like the need for RTI or that since he was homeschooled they need to have him in the classroom for awhile before starting. You should know that these kind of things are against the law. Know the law and hold them to it. We haven't gone through the IEP process yet, but I've found The Complete IEP Guide by Lawrence M. Siegel to be extremely helpful for understanding the federal guidelines. You should also be able to find your state guidelines on the internet. The states may not override anything in the federal law.

 

If you already had a meeting with the school about the IEP, having assessments by the end of October does not seem to be within the legal time limits. The time line goes like this:

* After an official request to evaluate, the school has thirty days to either agree to evaluate or refuse (they must have a reason to refuse)

* Then 60 days to complete the evaluations and determine if an IEP is needed. Any RTI must be completed during this time and cannot be a reason for extending the timeline.

* 30 days to actually create the IEP.

 

Those of you who have been through this can correct me if I'm wrong, but that is how I understand it.

 

Also, they are not allowed to take the summer off and extend the clock. Those time frames are the law year round.

 

In actuality, many schools do not have staff to do the evaluations in the summer, so you would have to decide whether to press that issue and make them figure out how to comply with the law. Legally they MUST comply with the law (to state the obvious), so you could hold them to it if you are willing to take a stand. If you are willing to give them those few summer weeks as a freebie grace period, that's your call, but you should know that if you don't want to wait until the fall for the evaluations, the law is on your side.

 

 

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Just wanted to add that we are most likely entering the school system this fall as well, and I have found the advice from other board members to be really helpful. Thanks, OhElizabeth and kbutton! There is a wealth of knowledge here, and I'm glad you decided to ask for advice.

 

Also, it sounds like you have been working very hard. Sure, we can always see where we could have done better as homeschooling parents, but don't continue to beat yourself up. It sounds to me like you have some people in your life who have been suggesting that you are not doing a good enough job and that the schools can do better. I hereby give you permission to stop listening to them. Don't seek their advice. Don't even talk about school things with them any more, because they are not helping you. They are hindering you and undermining your confidence. I admire you for admitting your struggles. Now hopefully you can move beyond that and stop feeling guilty. Yes, you may still have guilty feelings (because most moms do, I think!), but don't dwell on them.

 

Enlisting the help of the school can be a good choice. It doesn't mean you've failed at homeschooling or parenting. (I'm speaking to myself here, too, because these are normal feelings you have been having, and I've had them, too). You haven't ruined your son's chances for learning. He is only eight after all, and has a lot of time to catch up. I suspect that you may find that he struggles with his schoolwork just as he struggled to learn at home. Don't let that discourage you -- it is proof that the learning disability is real. Give yourself credit for recognizing that you need help educating your children; there is no shame in that. You are doing a good thing.

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The school psychologists is part of the admin of my local school district and they are paid year round. So testing can be done in summer.

 

However, what I understand from neighbors is that my district lack experienced dyslexia testing specialist so they accept outside tests results and recommendations.

 

Hope your child and you get the help you both need.

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I hear you on the summer thing. I tend to think that forcing that issue might lead to some resentment from the officials, which might make it harder to work with them, but I'm a wimp who doesn't like confrontation. I'm working on that!

 

OHElizabeth said something to me about reminding them of the need to follow the laws (not just the summer thing but all of them) that I thought was brilliant. You can be nice and friendly and still let them know that you aren't going to give in. Something like, "I understand that you may find it challenging to get this done by the legal deadline. Our meeting date is XYZ .What is your plan for meeting that deadline so that we can be in compliance with the law?" And you could even cite the statue of the law there at the end if you want to show them you know what you are talking about.

 

Just a little something to think about. Do what you feel comfortable with. But keep in mind that the school wants to do what is comfortable for them, too, and they will be looking after their own interests, which will not line up with yours. And the law is on your side.

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We have been doing LiPS for four months. 5-6 days a week, by the book. Today he could not tell me that D represents /d/, and tried to convince me that /t/ is a tongue cooler. A few weeks ago We went back and started again with consonant sequences with one sound, pull down mouth pic, swap for color, swap for letter. After several weeks, he can do two sounds about one in ten attempts if I stick to the first three brother pairs. Before we started, he almost passed the Barton screen-he missed it by one consonant sequence. We have tried the screen twice since we started, and he does worse each time. Somehow, doing LiPS with me is worsening his auditory processing and working memory. He needs somebody who doesn't suck at this. We can't afford private tutoring. I have to believe that the public school will not cause him to get worse and worse, like I am.

I'm going to try to be gentle here. Just be careful about making assumptions regarding PS and their abilities or not. Every school is so different. Research how many teachers there are specialists in special Ed. Are any OG trained or certified? Are there any specialists for writing? How much will pull out time be for reading and writing? Will someone read to him for class work and write for him? Is it possible he's gifted with learning disabilities?

 

I like our PS and super loved our teacher there. But there was only so much time in a day and she assigned a helper student to basically read and write for DS. Another first grader. Sure, the ideas aren't complex but still!

 

He may be getting special services as a pull out but that may be only an hour or less a day, meaning the whole rest of the day he will be with a regular teacher who likely can't teach to a dyslexic or dysgraphic, and he will be expected to do what the other kids are all doing unless the IEP is good. But I'm IEP ignorant.

 

As far as time teaching, I don't spend 6 academic hours but we do spend about an hour or more in phonics, reading, read alouds, spelling, word games, etc. 15 min daily writing, 30 or so in math, and then lots of science, extracurriculars, books on tape, OT, etc. none of it, more than maybe a minute or two, is independent. I have to read math problems and write answers. Only now is DS not constantly reading 6/9 incorrectly. I let him do a maze on his own for OT and create lego things. When we were in public school we would do the public school homework (took most students 5-10 min, for us 30 min was normal), plus we had to teach reading and writing at home still because their remediation was ineffective.

 

Also ask what program they teach to read. Our schools use accelerated reader, a known problem for dyslexics as it teacher students to guess words "in context" and has minimal phonics.

 

If you are working on lips I wonder more about further testing and diagnoses, maybe hearing or auditory processing? I'm not certain, maybe others can chime in. But just because he isn't improving on that system doesn't mean it's you. Maybe there's some else going on, or the program is wrong for him. Idk?

 

Sorry I didn't mean for this to be so Debbie downer but I feel obligated to warn you to do all the research you can so you won't be surprised.

 

As for therapy, Dianne craft had a dysgraphic dvd that goes over handwriting exercises that are done just 15 min per day, 4 days a week. She is a special Ed specialist educator. A lot of people swear by her but we are just starting so I can't give a personal rec.

 

I also have to say on the other hand (for public school), that it is true a lot work with kids with LD daily and do have a lot more experience than someone who has never done this before. It can sometimes be much better to have a concrete plan you follow instead of figuring out one yourself, plus curriculum, plus implementation, plus other things too. And having some time away from that burden during the day may help you to make concentrated homework time very productive.

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Mellifera, I want to make sure you understand that nobody is downing you or thinking you haven't done a good job.  On the contrary, I think with the amount of time you've put in SOMETHING is wrong.  You could have a number of things going on there, and you really need some more evals to sort it out.  Is he bored?  As in non-compliant?  Seriously, if a dc is inattentive they might get bored and purposely fudge.  Not saying he is, just asking.  Have you had his hearing checked?  How is his articulation?  Has anyone run language testing on him to make sure he actually has age-appropriate ability to follow oral instructions?  How is his vocabulary?  Is it possible you're asking very analytical questions and that it's going over his head?  He may have a naming issue, such that NAMING them may be difficult.  When I did LIPS, I paired it with Barton 1 and all he had to do was point, repeat after me (rapid naming!), and arrange alphabet magnets under mouths.  I focused on him FEELING the formations and being able to place the right alphabet magnets under the pictures more than the names.  Ds could handle the names, but he has an outlandish and unusual (like 99th percentile, literally unusual) vocabulary.

 

You have a lot of discrepancies in that WISC you said.  Again, I'm going to ask what the explanation of that is. If you want, you can post the scores here and let the number geeks help you. Your psych TOLD you that you have a complex situation with things not explained.  Honestly, the school will not necessarily sort that out in their evals.  The more complex the situation, the less capable they are of handling it.  Their gig is run of the mill and do you qualify for services.  They are not there to replace getting high quality private evals.  And given the level of frustration you're having, I think you're going to get the best answers with private evals.

 

Place your kid wherever you want, but finish out your private evals so you know what's going on.  If you finish the psych eval privately, the school might do an OK job on a speech eval.  The ps SLP could run the CELF (language testing, to check for things like ability to follow instructions, vocabulary, word and sentence comprehension, etc.) and an APD screening.  I would be asking for both of these.  If you have social issues, ask for pragmatics testing, which is something else the SLP at the ps does.  That will save you tons of money to do those through the ps and they can give you helpful information.  Or go privately if you want.  I took my ds to an audiologist and he has had all those tests done.  I just don't think you should conclude anything about how you're doing as a parent without more evals.  IT'S NOT YOU.

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I don't think people here will tell you to keep homeschooling no matter what. In fact, I've actually seen the opposite on this subdivision of the board. It seems like in general on this board others understand how hard situations with SN & LD kids can be and they are more likely to recommend a break of some kind. The thing is, PS doesn't necessarily know what to do with these kids either and sometimes enrolling them there is worse. It can be a decision of *least worst option*. It is never going to be easy to educate or raise these kids because there is a very real issue that is separate from the educational placement.

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It's kind of funny--if one of my neighbors anonymously posted about my family, the hive would be almost unanimous that I was in over my head and should put my kids in school. The only thing to keep the die-hards on the side of continuing homeschooling is that we aren't ankle-deep in goat shit. Is this the section of the board where the "anything is better than public school" people congregate?  :lol:

I think you are misunderstanding.  As others have posted, I don't think everyone is saying don't ever put a kid in school.  They are saying you need to be realistic about what the school can do and to do your research ahead of time so if you go the school route you are coming at that path from a knowledgeable position.  You will need to advocate for your child.  

 

FWIW, my mother is a reading specialist.  She has multiple degrees.  She was not knowledgeable enough to realize that both of my kids are dyslexic and needed a very different type of instruction than what was being provided in the school they were attending.  If I had it all to do again, and I had the knowledge I do now, I would probably have kept DS in school but started him on specialized instruction outside of school when he was very small.  He preferred being in a classroom (right up until his disastrous 2nd grade year with an abysmally ignorant and unhelpful teacher).  If we could have helped him with the reading/writing issues with specialized instruction targeted to his specific needs he probably would have been happier staying in school.  I am realistic about what our particular school could provide, though, and that is virtually nothing for a child with learning challenges.  

 

However, our school is not every school.  There are many posters who have had good experiences with their school districts.  You absolutely may be in one that can help.  You won't really know until you try.  

 

All this to say, if you feel that ps is better, then follow that path.  Just be realistic in your expectations and be prepared to advocate for your child.  Do the research.  Get private evaluations if you can.  Come at this from a position of strength.  There are several that post on this board that have kids in ps.  They have had varying degrees of success but what helped the most, as far as I can tell, is that they were willing to advocate for their child and they did extensive research on how to be successful at that.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Best wishes.

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I am one of the people on this board who has a kid with some special needs that does atted public school. My DS attends a online charter school, and I teach for the same school at a different grade level. I even have special education certification from a previous state. I think people here are just wanting you to have realistic view of what may or may not happen in public school. My and DS's current school is great at providing accommodations for kids with special needs, but there is very little in the way of remediation. I am doing Barton at home with my DS. I see lots of progress, but it is taking a long time, because he still has to do all the "regular" school work.

 

There is no " perfect" educational setting. You just have to pick what works best for your particular situation at that particular time.

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We are enrolling three of our children in school this fall as well, so I'm definitely not anti-school. I am pro advocating for my child, because I cannot count on the school to do that. No one there will care as much about my children, their problems, and their progress as I do.

 

The IEP process can be a battle, and it is best to be forewarned. That's all.

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  The problem is you don't have a complete diagnosis to know what ELSE you're working with.  If this lady can do that, how about going back and finishing with her?  The ps is very likely to get this wrong.  Seriously.  You cannot assume they'll get it right.  Their goal is to deny services by denying labels.  If you want accurate info, go private.  Sometimes, just sometimes, the ps will get it right.  In general, you really need to go private for complex situations.

 

Even if they're not trying to deny services because the child has obvious disabilities, IMHO the PS evaluators don't really know what to make of complex kids. I sat in an IEP meeting in January with the assessment team going over my DD's results and it was clear that they had no clue how to interpret them. They more-or-less said, "huh, that's weird", set the report aside, and then proceeded to set goals based on what they'd observed in the classroom and speech therapy sessions. Not that the goals are inappropriate since they target identified areas of weakness, but the underlying reasons WHY my DD was struggling were not identified.

 

I had to go to a couple of highly specialized clinics (a neuropsychologist for the deaf & hard-of-hearing and a speech & language pathologist at a school for the d/hoh) in order to get some useful answers. And depending on what exactly is in the final NP report (supposed to be ready next week), we may be looking at needing a records review and possibly further testing at another clinic with a different specialization. Ugh at the idea of shelling out more $$$, but I want to make sure that we haven't missed anything important.

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Yes, I would love for the discussion to start anew.  We want to help, not hurt.  The people on this board have been so helpful to me.  I am sure they can be helpful to you, too.  I don't think anyone is trying to make your situation or emotional state worse.  We want to help.  Things just got a little off kilter.  

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I'm definitely not going to be one to say that HSing is always better than PS. That would be totally hypocritical as my SN child has never been HSed and I have no plans to start. I think attending Early Intervention preschool and then the district special ed preschool & kindergarten was very helpful to her. The teacher:student ratio was equal to or better than what she'd get at home with two siblings. Being in a classroom with peers allowed them to target her social interaction skills in a way that wouldn't have been possible at home with two much-older siblings. Also, she received support services that would've been cost-prohibitive to do privately given the insurance limits on number of sessions per week.

 

I strongly believe that parents need to look at the pros and cons of each educational option and decide for themselves which is best (or "least worst") for their own families.

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I'm sorry if I was not being supportive in my posts. My viewpoint is colored by our experiences with our one specific PS with my one child and his one teacher. I am not trying to belabor our choice on you but just discuss many things that happened to us as we were going through the process.

 

I would still encourage testing that you can get privately through your medical insurance for clarity and precision (OT and maybe PT Eval, SLP, maybe audiologist, some developmental optometrists are covered too for routine screens). Knowledge is power, as they say.

 

I will try to post more helpful PS info. You may want to research 504 vs IEP. Some states give access to 504 protections for some LD, instead of only an IEP. Also, RTI has different levels of intervention.

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:grouphug: 

I hope you come back, mama... I've been where you are. I have. I put my LO in school last year. She made some gains. We're going through the IEP process currently. 

It's a hard road, mama, and you're not alone. We're all here with you, whether you public/private/home/charter/parttime/or unschool. 

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I know you've deleted your posts and I don't know if you'll come back to read this or not, but I'm going to write it anyway. I am one of the parents who had great experiences with ps (until we didn't).

 

My SN ds was in ps through 5th grade. Pre-K-4th they were absolutely the best choice for him. They tested and interpreted results. We had an OT who was amazing. Every time we walked into an IEP meeting with a concern, she told us her new goals and how they would address our concern, BEFORE we mentioned we had a concern. He had excellent teachers (with the exception of 3rd grade) and the behavior specialist and OT were great. The speech therapist was lousy, but oh well. 

 

If you feel like you are totally failing your son - try ps. Do be prepared to be a strong advocate. Ds had a friend in pre-school that was an Aspie and very similar in level to ds. Her mom didn't advocate. I did. She got almost no services and fell through the cracks, failing socially and academically. Ds got services, made friends, and thrived academically. The difference was me. 

 

I think what people were trying to tell you is that the school may fail too. Maybe now, maybe later. When ds moved to the upper elementary in 5th, it was a disaster. I started homeschooling in 6th. Take all the help you can get from the ps system. Have them test, put him in, use their therapies, but also be prepared to advocate and pull him back out if they fail. There are no guarantees.

 

I would never tell a parent who is putting in 6 hours a day that they need to put their child in ps because they are failing. I would tell a parent who is not putting in the hours, who hasn't used an appropriate curriculum, who isn't trying, to put their child in ps and give them a chance. Your child is young. You are trying hard. I won't condemn you for where he is right now. I would urge patience and tell you it may not be you at all - the same thing others have said. However, having said that, if you choose ps, I would encourage you to give it a try. Follow your gut. See what happens. If you need help prepping for an IEP meeting, stop back and ask. Many of us have BTDT.

 

I always recommend the book From Emotions to Advocacy from Wrightslaw. They have a website writeslaw.com too.

 

Just because everyone here is telling you not to blame yourself, doesn't mean we won't support you in your decision to put your child in ps and won't help you through that process. It just means the self blame is pointless and destructive. Channel that energy into productive directions instead.

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I think folks have shared quite a bit of helpful information.  It is important to remember that parents of SN kids, all parents really, tend to be on edge when they feel their child is at risk.  It is hard to work out what to do for a SN child in the best of circumstances and very few of us ever get the best of circumstances.  Every decision seems so urgent.  I would hope we could all give each other the benefit of the doubt.  The OP chose to amend posts she felt were too edgy and IMO to resurrect them now misrepresents her true feelings on the matter.  There is no pain like the pain of not knowing what to do to help your child.  I would hope that everyone could recognize that and treat each other gently. 

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I am sorry. What I meant to be an attempt to lighten the mood with some self-deprecating humor came across as passive agressive or outright hostile. I guess I'm the only one who thinks I'm funny. :) I have contacted my son's psych for more testing. I had such a good meeting with the IEP team that I guess I thought they would be more helpful than many here have experienced. Maybe I have more faith in credentials than others do. I don't know. I think I need to stay off teh internets for a while. :)

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A very long time ago, my nephew transferred from a bad school district to our district. He was in 4th grade and couldn't read, the former district had done no intervention.  Our district didn't wait for testing but put him in a reading class right away and got him up to speed in 1 semester.  Currently, we choose not to ps for a variety of reasons.  But, two of our friends have children in the system with two different area school districts.  One's child has been provided a full time aid, the other is receiving intervention for autism.  Both families are at the same socio-economic level as us aand have the same insurance coverage. So, if they weren't getting the support they needed through the ps system they could choose to go elsewhere.  One of the parents is even a nationally recognized advocate for her child's condition, so I'm pretty sure she knows her stuff. 

 

It is not necessary to assume the worst of the public system.  I would have no problem getting intervention if I couldn't give my child what he needed and we re-evaulate whether I can or not regularly.  There is no one right answer that fits for every family.  Sometimes getting help helps you as the parent get the information or break that you need. Sometimes you see what is offered and decide you can do just as well. 

 

As others have mentioned, information is power so always seek more. But if you feel overwhelmed is is absolutely OK to let the "experts" help you through the rough times.  We are human beings and we each have our own limitations.  Deciding to be the primary teacher for your SN child is a huge undertaking, if you need help don't be ashamed to ask for it.  :grouphug:

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