Being on time for group events

[athomeontheprairie]

Last year our group held a 6 week group classes. We had classes that started at 9, 10, and 11. A couple families were ALWAYS late. As I start planning for this year's group sessions I want to include something in the registration form:

"Classes start promptly on the hour. To avoid disrupting classes that have already started, if your family arrives more than 5 minutes past the hour, please keep your children with you in the lobby until the next course begins."

 

I really want families to be on time. It is disrespectful to the teachers and other students when they they are constantly being interrupted. Is this fair? How would you address this issue? How would you word this clause?

[marbel]

People who are continually late, and treat start times of classes casually, annoy the heck out of me. 

 

I think your statement is fine, though I wonder if 5 minutes is too short, simply because clocks can differ.  I remember getting a call from my dentist's office as I was walking to the door, because I was 5 minutes late on their clock, but I was on time on mine.  Maybe 10 minutes?  However, if classes are just an hour, maybe that is too long... ?

 

Interested to see what others think on this topic.  It has been a huge problem for me.

[Ellie]

Last year our group held a 6 week group classes. We had classes that started at 9, 10, and 11. A couple families were ALWAYS late. As I start planning for this year's group sessions I want to include something in the registration form:

 

"Classes start promptly on the hour. To avoid disrupting classes that have already started, if your family arrives more than 5 minutes past the hour, please keep your children with you in the lobby until the next course begins."

 

I really want families to be on time. It is disrespectful to the teachers and other students when they they are constantly being interrupted. Is this fair? How would you address this issue? How would you word this clause?

 

Right on. The wording is fine.

 

OTOH, are participants having to move to different areas for each class? Because if they do, there's no way for them to leave one class at 10 and get to the next on time. You need 15 minutes between classes for teachers to arrive and set up, and for participants to make the move and settle themselves down.

[composr]

In the immortal words of my old band director:

 

 

To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be left.

 

(Naturally, that was his edit, since band events meant potentially being left in the dust).

[Arcadia]

My kids German class ask that students arrive 15mins before class start so that the kids can get their books and writing materials ready and the teacher can start on the dot or even before the start time if everyone is ready.

My hubby tends to be the one who is perpetually late by 5mins. Being told to arrive 15mins early means our kids are usually either early by 5mins or on the dot. Most people are late at most a few times out of 24 lessons in a year so not too annoying.

 

I think it would be easier to state in the registration form that people come 5-10 mins before class time. When my kids were in recreational gym class, We have to be there at least 5mins early. The instructor would round the kids up 5mins before start of class and do a roll call.

[athomeontheprairie]

Right on. The wording is fine.

 

OTOH, are participants having to move to different areas for each class? Because if they do, there's no way for them to leave one class at 10 and get to the next on time. You need 15 minutes between classes for teachers to arrive and set up, and for participants to make the move and settle themselves down.

our facilities are small enough we will be allowing 5 to 10 minutes between classes to use the bathroom and such, and it is MORE than enough time to get from place to place. Thanks for mentioning this, we are taking it into consideration as we plan the location of classes

[athomeontheprairie]

I think it would be easier to state in the registration form that people come 5-10 mins before class time. When my kids were in recreational gym class, We have to be there at least 5mins early. The instructor would round the kids up 5mins before start of class and do a roll call.

Hmm... Food for thought. Thanks for this!

 

Eta : I particularly like that this accomplishes the same thing only it states it in the positive not in the negative

[KrissiK]

Well, my kids' tumbling instructor let all the girls who were on time put their name in the pot for a drawing. At the end of the class, they had the drawing for a really cute little goodie bag. The more you're on time, the more chances you had at your name being drawn.

[MysteryJen]

Well, my kids' tumbling instructor let all the girls who were on time put their name in the pot for a drawing. At the end of the class, they had the drawing for a really cute little goodie bag. The more you're on time, the more chances you had at your name being drawn.

I like this, except kids can't control chronically late parents. Maybe the instructor could have a "never late" discount on the next class.

[TheAttachedMama]

Well, my kids' tumbling instructor let all the girls who were on time put their name in the pot for a drawing. At the end of the class, they had the drawing for a really cute little goodie bag. The more you're on time, the more chances you had at your name being drawn.

 

My gymnastics place does this too.

I always feel like this is a little unfair to the kids.  Unless they are driving themselves, how are they suppose to control getting there?   Many times it isn't THEIR fault that they are late.   It has more to do with how their moms are running the show at home.

 

I am a child of a compulsively late mother.  COMPULSIVELY.   She runs at least 30 minutes (on a good day) to several hours late for everything.  It is so bad that it has become a running joke with her friends and extended family.   They will tell her things start an hour ahead of time so that she will be there somewhat close to starting time.

 

BUT It was very frustrating for me as a child because she lacked time management skills....and even as a young child I could see that.  I remember having thoughts like, "Why are you getting in the shower when the thing starts in 5 minutes and it is a 40 minute drive away?"  

 

Because of how I was raised, I get super stressed out when I am late.   I really try to be on time for things.   BUT, as I have more children, it does get harder to be on time all of the time.   So I also have understanding for people who are occasionally late.  Not compulsively, but occasionally.   I understand that sometimes the unexpected happens. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I think negative wording establishes the right tone.  To be late is to have a negative impact on the group.  Convey that in the registration form. 

[daijobu]

Can you have some fun but optional activity available in the 10-15 minutes before class begins to encourage early arrivals?  

[school17777]

I don't think you should give them an extra 5 minutes. The perpetually late people will aim for that time as the start time and then they will get there 5 minutes after that.

 

Suggest that they arrive 10/15 minutes prior to the start time to get settled (hang up coats, etc) so they are in their seats at the start of the class.

 

Be consistent from the very beginning. Monitor the hall/lobby and don't allow the latecomers to go to class. Once everyone gets used it, it may/should cut down on latecomers once they see that you are serious about them not being able to show up late.

[EKT]

Being on time is a really important value in our family (it's common courtesy!), so I find lateness in general incredibly frustrating. I think it's perfectly fine to have a tardiness clause like the one you suggest in your OP. The only problem you might encounter is actually enforcing the new rule. For example, will you have an extra parent available to be a hall monitor of sorts for your group? Something to consider. I think if you have a plan for consistently enforcing your lateness policy, then everything will work out well for the group. But if not, you might end up feeling that much more frustrated by people who are not only late, but who then ignore the "wait in the lobby til next class" rule. 

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this issue; it sounds really frustrating! 

[Ellie]

our facilities are small enough we will be allowing 5 to 10 minutes between classes to use the bathroom and such, and it is MORE than enough time to get from place to place. Thanks for mentioning this, we are taking it into consideration as we plan the location of classes

 

If you allow 15 minutes between the start of each class, you will at least keep start times "regular," as in 9:00, 10:15, 11:30, as opposed to 9:00, 10:10, 11:20., which would weird out your OCD peeps, lol. It does add time to your day, though; another way would be to make classes 45 minutes instead of an hour.

 

And there's still the importance of teachers ending on time. :-)

[Junie]

My gymnastics place does this too.

I always feel like this is a little unfair to the kids.  Unless they are driving themselves, how are they suppose to control getting there?   Many times it isn't THEIR fault that they are late.   It has more to do with how their moms are running the show at home.

 

I am a child of a compulsively late mother.  COMPULSIVELY.   She runs at least 30 minutes (on a good day) to several hours late for everything.  It is so bad that it has become a running joke with her friends and extended family.   They will tell her things start an hour ahead of time so that she will be there somewhat close to starting time.

 

BUT It was very frustrating for me as a child because she lacked time management skills....and even as a young child I could see that.  I remember having thoughts like, "Why are you getting in the shower when the thing starts in 5 minutes and it is a 40 minute drive away?"  

 

Because of how I was raised, I get super stressed out when I am late.   I really try to be on time for things.   BUT, as I have more children, it does get harder to be on time all of the time.   So I also have understanding for people who are occasionally late.  Not compulsively, but occasionally.   I understand that sometimes the unexpected happens. 

 

You would have loved this book:  http://www.amazon.com/SarahS-Secret-Plan-Pbk-Johns/dp/0816735123

[Junie]

My kids are frequently complaining that I am getting them to classes/activities too early.

 

I was raised with the principle that if you are less than 15 minutes early, you are Late!

[Ellie]

Because of how I was raised, I get super stressed out when I am late.   I really try to be on time for things.   BUT, as I have more children, it does get harder to be on time all of the time.   So I also have understanding for people who are occasionally late.  Not compulsively, but occasionally.   I understand that sometimes the unexpected happens. 

 

We're all late once in awhile, and, like you, I can understand that and forgive. It's the perpetually late people that I cannot bear. :cursing:

[wintermom]

My favourite Biology teacher in high school used to lock her door at class start. The students who missed the start had to wait outside until there was a natural, convenient (for the teacher) break in the class and then she opened the door and let them in.  There were very few people late more than once! It was awesome.  

 

I think your idea is perfect, but no need for the 5 minutes. I'd simply state that the classes will start promptly and late arrivals will not be admitted into classrooms period.

Make sure that the classes start exactly on time and you reinforce this rule from day 1. Set the standard from the very beginning and do not back down. If the teacher is late, start the class anyway with a parent volunteer.

 

The reason for eliminating the 5 minutes allowance, is that over time this will lengthen. Don't even let this be an option. 

 

[Tsuga]

We have four kids in four schools. There are four hours of after school activities. Everything takes 10 -30 minutes to get to.

 

Add it up. We are late about 50% of the time. There is no question of scheduling things further apart. They are scheduled as far apart and as overlapping as we can possibly manage.

 

I'm sure people think I am lazy, working two jobs, trying to get each kid into one art and one sport. 4*2 assuming only one practice per week, is eight, by the way, but DSD and DSS have volunteering commitments as well, and on top of that most sports are 2*/week, so the reality is, I am not making this up, in the 15 hour of afterschool time we have before dinner each week, we have, I swear to god, 18 activities. And we say no to the kids ALL THE TIME.

 

The only thing I hate more than being late is saying to my stepson, "We have the money, it's just that your stepsister chose her activity, so we have no time for you." Nope. I'm gonna drop off one kid with him in the car and race across town to get him there, because I care about him. Sorry.

 

If you put that for a family like ours, yep, we'd just not sign up. You should just say, "The door locks at this time. No late attendance. We realizes this means some busy families cannot attend. You will be missed."

 

They will realize you are serious.

 

ETA--I'm not making excuses. We each had two kids, what we could care for. Life happens. I do think that there is stuff that happens behind the scenes though that makes it hard to manage activities for multiple kids. I don't think five minutes helps. What helps is scheduling something far apart from everything else, you know, not on Wednesday night when literally everything else in the universe (literally ;) ) happens.

[wintermom]

We have four kids in four schools. There are four hours of after school activities. Everything takes 10 -30 minutes to get to.

 

Add it up. We are late about 50% of the time. There is no question of scheduling things further apart. They are scheduled as far apart and as overlapping as we can possibly manage.

 

I'm sure people think I am lazy, working two jobs, trying to get each kid into one art and one sport. 4*2 assuming only one practice per week, is eight, by the way, but DSD and DSS have volunteering commitments as well, and on top of that most sports are 2*/week, so the reality is, I am not making this up, in the 15 hour of afterschool time we have before dinner each week, we have, I swear to god, 18 activities. And we say no to the kids ALL THE TIME.

 

 

 

I'm sure that organizers and teachers would be more than willing to talk about alternative possibilities if a particular family was in this kind of situation. I believe that the OP is referring to families that do not make contact with the organizers and explain their situation, they are just regularly late for unknown reasons. 

[Miss Tick]

I am in the "if we aren't a bit early we are late" camp. However, I have appreciated a few of the activities we attend whose clocks seem to run 3-5 minutes behind MY clock, so even when I'm feeling stressed and late, we are often still on-time as far as the organizers are concerned.  Won't help the chronically late, but may reduce everyone's stress level a bit.

 

 

[athomeontheprairie]

We have four kids in four schools. There are four hours of after school activities. Everything takes 10 -30 minutes to get to.

 

Add it up. We are late about 50% of the time. There is no question of scheduling things further apart. They are scheduled as far apart and as overlapping as we can possibly manage.

 

I'm sure people think I am lazy, working two jobs, trying to get each kid into one art and one sport. 4*2 assuming only one practice per week, is eight, by the way, but DSD and DSS have volunteering commitments as well, and on top of that most sports are 2*/week, so the reality is, I am not making this up, in the 15 hour of afterschool time we have before dinner each week, we have, I swear to god, 18 activities. And we say no to the kids ALL THE TIME.

 

The only thing I hate more than being late is saying to my stepson, "We have the money, it's just that your stepsister chose her activity, so we have no time for you." Nope. I'm gonna drop off one kid with him in the car and race across town to get him there, because I care about him. Sorry.

 

If you put that for a family like ours, yep, we'd just not sign up. You should just say, "The door locks at this time. No late attendance. We realizes this means some busy families cannot attend. You will be missed."

 

They will realize you are serious.

 

ETA--I'm not making excuses. We each had two kids, what we could care for. Life happens. I do think that there is stuff that happens behind the scenes though that makes it hard to manage activities for multiple kids. I don't think five minutes helps. What helps is scheduling something far apart from everything else, you know, not on Wednesday night when literally everything else in the universe (literally ;) ) happens.

you have a lot on your plate. It sounds a very hectic life, and it also sounds like you are trying to do what is best for all of your kids. You go momma! whoever thinks you sound lazy is insane.

but this is not the type of family I'm talking about. all of our families are homeschooled. Which means all of the kids are in the same place. because we are in a very rural environments are no activities for kids anywhere during the day. all of our families around are rural, there is no traffic ( Except of course right now when you have to wait for combines during harvest) nearly all of our families will be able to drive 25 miles without seeing another single vehicle.

if we had a family that had such a busy life end still wanted to participate would be glad to talk to them. We would be glad to help them. But maybe that means they don't come to the 9 o'clock class and they plan on joining us at the 10 o'clock class when their schedule allows

[EmilyGF]

Here's what our kids' German school implemented last year:

 

Kids are to arrive at 8:45 to a "group room" and then are escorted to class by their teachers at 8:50.

Any child arriving after 8:50 waits in the group room and is taken into class at 9:30.

Another group of children is taken in at 10:00.

If you come later than 10:00, you may not go to class.

 

It may seem draconian, but the old procedures ("Show up at class by 9") meant that there was a lot of noise in the halls and children straggling in until 9:30. This meant that nearly a half hour of solid teaching time was sacrificed every week, for a loss of 15 hours (or five class sessions per year). The teachers were much happier because they had a calm start to the day instead of a hectic time to calm everyone down after.

 

I think some families may not be able to come on time, but when a few students routinely cause chaos for a class of twenty, something needs to be done.

 

Emily

[Samiam]

Being late drives me batty as well.  I do think that a five minute grace period is best...as some stated, not all clocks are set to the exact same minute.  And usually the first five minutes of class everyone is getting situationed, teacher is taking roll, handing out papers, etc.    Everyone has a reason why they are late....slow driver in front of them, bad traffic, etc etc....the end result is the same.   That is why one should leave early to account for unexpected delays. 

 

The one thing I would say it that you will need someone who feels comfortable be the enforcer there in the mornings.  Likely some families will be upset, argue about it, say it wasn't their fault, etc.  But if it's going to the rule, it needs to be the rule everytime, no matter WHY someone is late.  And that is going to take someone who isn't afraid to take the heat if it goes that way.

[mom2att]

At our group we have an all-group Assembly time that begins 20 minutes before the first class. During this time we do the pledge, a prayer, announcements, getting-to-know-you type activities, and/or presentations by classes or visiting individuals. It is supposed to be mandatory, and since we are a multi-aged group it's a great opportunity to get everyone together and have a chance to get acquainted, but really its main purpose is to get everyone there on time. Because if they think they have to be there by 9:40, they will almost always get there by 10, which is when the classes start. There aren't many families that miss the assembly time, but it is always the same families, and they are the families who were always 20 minutes late to class when we didn't have assembly. It's much less disruptive to have them "only" miss assembly, but of course I don't tell them this. We also often do really fun stuff at assembly that they will only catch the tail end of, so they know they are missing out on something and hopefully try to leave home a little earlier next time (wishful thinking!).

 

We've tried other methods (like "classroom doors will close 10 minutes after the start of class--please wait until the next class if you arrive after the doors close"), but people still came late and ignored the requests, because surely it didn't apply to THEM. It was also too difficult to monitor--we are a large group with a lot of classes all over the building.

 

It's much less stressful leadership-wise to have them missing a fun group activity but more assuredly on time for classes. I don't like it when people come late, but I don't stress about it anymore because it's not disruptive like it used to be.

 

Field trips are another issue altogether.

 

ETA: we have classes at 10 and 11. You sign up for both hours or none, so we never had an issue with people coming late for the 11:00 class--they were already there. It was just the first class of the day where lateness was a problem.