Damn..now things are starting to feel real...

[SparklyUnicorn]

Just finished my 8th year of homeschooling.  I'm looking at some of the questions posed by people with little little kids and really missing those days. 

 

Now?  *sigh*  It's less fun and more scary.  But I'm trying not to freak out and still trying to make it as fun as possible.

 

Anyone else?

 

 

[dancingmama]

Right there with Ya. Trying not to panic but, geez, these middle school years lead to high school *shudder*

[Roadrunner]

I am freaking out over the logic stage, second guessing my very decision to homeschool, and questioning my competence. I can't imagine my state of being when we approach high school. :(-

[Luckymama]

High school isn't that bad, you guys! You'll be prepared :)

[Garga]

I've taught my kids all along. My oldest is entering 8th grade this year. I'm not so scared about teaching high school. I can either do it myself or outsouce. I'm more scared about all the little college boxes that need to be checked off.

 

When to take tests? Which tests?

When to take AP classes/tests?

Helping my son figure out which college to get into.

How to find a college.

Financial aid.

Financial aid.

Financial aid.

Creating a transcript

Figuring out how to assign a grade and being able to defend it if asked.

 

Oh, I don't know. It's probably not as complicated as I think...and yet EVERYONE says that doing the college thing (finding it, financial aid, etc) is STRESSFUL.

 

The actual homeschooling is fine. I'm confident. It's college prep that sounds like a huge hassle and I'm not looking forward to that hassle.

[OneStepAtATime]

Stressing a bit here, too.  We've only been doing this 3 years.  Seems like we just started and like we've been at this for years at the same time.  Still trying to find our footing in some ways.  Middle School and High School at the same time is kind of wigging me out a bit.  Nice to read some reassuring posts.  :)

[mamaraby]

*sticks fingers in her ears* la, la, la, la, can't hear you!!

 

We're just starting logic stage here. It's not possible. It's really not.

[prairiewindmomma]

Yup.  It's also interesting to discover so many of the things I was worried about back in the early years really didn't matter.  

[chiguirre]

Yep. I freaked out so much that I just decided to outsource almost everything for now. Although I do think that once we're both used to high school level courses, we might go back to doing some on our own and customizing more. For now, having clear expectations and outside accountability is easier for both of us.

 

I felt better once I looked at the transfer agreements between our CC and UT Austin, TAMU and U of Houston. They're very similar, the courses that transfer are black and white. In the case of TAMU and U of H, you know the SAT scores you need for automatic admission. The AP credits awarded are pretty similar too. Of course, this doesn't mean dd will end up going to a TX school, but at least I understand that process for a highly selective, selective and not selective (but very generous with aid, honors college and UG research) school. That covers a lot of bases and I feel like I have a better understanding of what we need to do over the next 6 years.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Weirdly, I'm having this feeling more about my 4th grader than my 8th grader.  My 8th grader has had a lot of input into the plans for next year, we're both pretty excited about it, and I think she'll be well prepared for high school.  She's easy to teach.

 

My 4th grader is - has always been - way more challenging, to parent and to teach.  The last couple of years, 2nd & 3rd, I haven't worried about it much - she's a strong reader, and on level with math without much trouble, and although teaching her writing has been a challenge, she does like to write on her own and her skills are fine. But for some reason I'm feeling like 4th grade is a bigger deal, that somehow I should be shifting more from basic skills to .  .  . something, more, I don't know what.  I am just feeling like I need to step it up with her and I have no idea how to pull that off. Nothing I did with her sister is likely to work, at least not in the same way. So it's just inchoate anxiety at this point.

 

Anyway, that was off topic, sorry - but just goes to show that anxieties about doing right by our kids can span the spectrum, right? 

[maize]

My oldest is pretty easy to work with, basically give her a checklist and she will run with it. I'm not worried about academics with her, just about keeping up with the intensity of her dance passion.

 

I am more concerned about my ten year old, who needs a more self-directed education model. I have to figure out how to facilitate that while also making sure that basics are covered.

 

I miss the low stress freedom to explore from the early years.

[Lori D.]

Once I got past a several-month-long panic of having to do it all "for real-sies" ? for high school -- and I was doing it in the second semester of 9th grade, not before high school started like all you smart mamas! -- those years of high school turned out to be some of our BEST years ever of homeschooling! ?

We had fabulous discussions, we created several of our own courses. We intentionally scheduled some great high school level field trips, and took two big 3-week family trips during the school year. DSs stepped out and enjoyed some terrific extracurriculars. DS with the mild LDs finally made some really good strides forward with Writing about 11th/12th grade. Most of all, we had the opportunity to see, up close, our DSs blossom into young adults.

The fun does not have to stop; but it does transform and look different, as you now have young adults rather than young elementary children. ? I love this past thread as encouragement about that topic: "Once your child hits middle school, does this mean all the "fun" stuff stops?"

The WTM board and a lot of real-life homeschool high school mentoring and support were invaluable for relieving some of the stress of high school and college planning. There are also a lot of other great resources out there, like Lee Binz' Home Scholar website, books by Cafi Cohen and others on homeschooling high school and college prep, and even some for-hire online college counselors to help you through college admissions and financial aid concerns.

The great thing is that you do NOT have to know everything about high school and college right NOW in 8th grade! It's a gentle ramping up. See the thread "High School Time Table" to help you get a feel for what types of things you'll need to think about for high school, and WHEN -- it does NOT all happen before 9th grade starts ;). Also Nan in MASS's gentle wisdom about 8th/9th grade being a transition time: "For those of you with 8th graders considering homeschooling high school…". Below are the 4-5 main things to learn about in each year of high school (parents of advanced/delayed students, or parents of unique students will have different general timetables):

8th grade

1. mom hat = continue to incorporate learning life skills
2. teacher hat = during 8th grade, begin to gently incorporate prep for high school skills
3. counselor/administrator hat = decide if you're homeschooling or using another option for high school
4. counselor/administrator hat = if homeschooling high school, make a high school plan and research record-keeping
5. teacher hat = once you have a high school plan and decide on what credits to do for 9th grade, research curricula

optional = possibly research outsourcing options and extracurrricular options

9th grade
1. mom hat = continue to incorporate learning life skills (character & values development, public speaking, etc.)
2. teacher hat = transition into high school level of work, incorporate study skills as needed or as student is ready
3. counselor/administrator hat = research outsourcing options for future years, and if any would be a good fit for you
4. counselor/administrator hat = research volunteering, extracurriculars, special programs & opportunities are available to your high schooler

optional = possibly start to research various tests (AP, PSAT, SAT, ACT, CLEP) and decide if any are a fit for your student

10th grade
1. mom hat = continue to incorporate learning life skills (finances/budget/bank account, shopping/cooking, home maintenance)
2. teacher hat = continue to transition/incorporate high school skills
3. counselor/administrator hat = adjust your high school plan/student's course of study if student has developed new interests or career ideas, or if new outsourcing or extracurricular opportunities arise
4. counselor/administrator hat = research various tests (AP, PSAT, SAT, ACT, CLEP) and decide if any are a fit for your student
5. counselor/administrator hat = research dual enrollment and determine if it is a fit for your student

optional = possibly research colleges or tour college campuses of interests

11th grade
1. mom hat = continue to incorporate learning life skills (learning to drive and resumes/jobs)
2. teacher hat = move towards transitioning to college prep skills and/or possible outsourcing
3. counselor/administrator hat = adjust your high school plan/student's course of study if student has developed new interests or career ideas, or if new outsourcing or extracurricular opportunities arise
4. counselor/administrator hat = research career exploration
5. counselor/administrator hat = research colleges

12th grade
1. mom hat = continue incorporate life skills (college "survival" and/or living on their own)
2. teacher hat = incorporate college prep skills and/or possible outsourcing
3. counselor/administrator hat = research graduation details (senior photo, diploma, graduation ceremony, announcements, etc.)
4. counselor/administrator hat = research scholarships and financial aid
5. counselor/administrator hat = research college admissions

For researching, check out the big pinned threads at the top of the High School Board:
"Starting High School, Outsourcing, Online Classes, Tutors, Dual Enrollment, AP/PAST/SAT/ACT/CLEP tests -- past threads linked here!"

post #1: Getting Started, Books & Resources, Making a High School Plan, Outsourcing, Tutors, Online Classes, Dual Enrollment
post #2: pros/cons, comparisons, and advice about tests: AP, PSAT, SAT, ACT, CLEP, GED

"Transcripts, Credits, GPA/Grading, Accreditation, College Prep/Applications, Scholarships/Financial Aid, Career Exploration -- links to past threads here!"
post #1: Getting Started, Planning/Scheduling, Transcripts, Credits, GPA/Grading, Course Descriptions, Record Keeping, Diplomas, Accreditation
post #5: College Prep/Planning, NCAA, Choosing a School, Admissions & Common App, Freshman Orientation, First Time at College, Financial Aid, FAFSA & EFC, Scholarships, Alternatives to 4-Year College, Career Exploration

 

Also, remember to keep each individual student's needs and development in mind! Your 8th grader now will look VERY different and have developed a lot of maturity and skills by 10th and 11th grades! Remember it is a *process* of transitioning and developing into high school skills -- some students may have some high school skills in 6th grade -- some may not develop until 11th grade! They will all eventually get there. It's all good. ?

Below is a list (from the thread, "What do seventh and ninth grade look like to you?") of very general developmental skills for the *average* student, in case it helps to remember that students do not wake up on the first day of 9th grade fully engaged in high school abilities and skills. ?

BEST of luck to all of you with rising high schoolers! ? Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

grades 7-8 (ages 12-14)
- solidify foundational skills
- you still go over the teaching instruction portion of the lesson with the student (i.e., average student not reading/learning/doing completely independent of you)
- you heavily guide discussions/analysis (Literature, Science, Logic, History, etc.)
- you are heavily involved in writing revisions, and with helping in initial writing organization/brainstorming and structuring of paragraphs or papers
- note: beginning hormonal changes which will affect schooling

gr. 8-9 (ages 13-15)
- begin to transition into high school amounts of work, study skills, responsibilities (i.e., some areas still at middle school level, others at high school level)
- depending on the student, beginning to hand off some instruction to the student to do independently (areas that are typically more complex, such as math and science, the average student probably still wants some interaction)
- you still guide discussions/analysis (Literature, Science, Logic, History, etc.)
- you are still involved in writing (initial organization, structuring, revisions)
- note: boy hormones/development often results in a lot of friction of working with/under mom

gr. 9-10 (ages 14-16)
- in some or many of the school subjects, working at high school level of increased work load/complexity of material, and moving towards more independent working
- you guide discussions/analysis, but students are beginning to input more -- not so much like "pulling teeth"
- note: still a lot of teen hormones/development with resulting attitudes, friction, etc.

gr. 10-12 (ages 15-19)
- over the course of these 3 years, you slowly move to full independent working; your role becomes mostly administrator/mentor/counselor
- over the course of these 3 years, your role moves to discussion (probably now 1-3x/week rather than daily), and grading papers
- potential dual enrollment of community college coursework (esp. in grades 11 and 12)
- note: over these 3 years, boy hormones settling down (get their "brains back", attitudes improve; begin to move towards leadership and responsibility)

Edited September 10, 2018 by Lori D.

[Lori D.]

PS -- My answer above was really long (:D  My short answer is :grouphug:  and sympathy. You are feeling the double realities pressing in:
1. the changes of growing up that are inevitable
2. the challenges that high school and young adulthood present

I found it helpful to remember that there are great things and hard things about every age -- toddlers, early elementary, middle school, high school. The more I could look for and focus on the great things and advantages of high school, the more I was able to enjoy those years and make the most of the advantages of having young adults. ?

Wishing you joy in the next stage of your life and homeschooling journeys! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited September 10, 2018 by Lori D.

[Jeeves]

Lori D,,

 

I want to read everything you write about homeschooling high school.  I also want you to come and tell me what to do (or just do it for me or whatever). ;)

 

Thank you for the thoughtful answer!  I'm with the OP and am kinda freaking out about my oldest going into 9th grade this year.  Especially the counselor part.  I do not want to be a guidance counselor.  At all. 

[Lori D.]

:grouphug: mom25boys  :grouphug:  (and all the 8th grade mamas)

I would think just raising 5 boys would cause freaking out. ? Definitely allow yourself some freak out time about moving into homeschooling high school and being "school counselor". ?

Just want to reassure you: it's going to be okay! Homeschooling high school feels so much like something completely new, that you're going to have those same anxieties you had when you first started homeschooling. But you'll also find your groove, just like you did once you got rolling for awhile with new homeschooling.

Each of your 5 will likely have a different trajectory through high school and beyond, so you may need to learn a little something else new with each one, but once you get your feet under you with the first one, the next ones will not cause you to freak out. (At least, not about how to homeschool high school and be "guidance counselor". ? )

Deep breathe! Ask for help. You can do this! And you're going to enjoy your ride. ? Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited September 10, 2018 by Lori D.

[Jilly]

High school isn't that bad, you guys! You'll be prepared :)

 

 

:iagree:

[quark]

:grouphug: I console myself by thinking of feeling scared, worrying etc. as a good thing. This means that I will eventually push myself to find things out. This summer, I have been researching more: reading more case studies and college admissions books, looking up transcript templates that will better reflect kiddo's interests, reading the hs2coll yahoo group more actively, and have even created a draft transcript. I used to think that everything will fall into place because my guy was so certain about what he wanted to do but this year, he has started looking into other possibilities and while it's not a complete change of heart, it has pushed me off my comfort zone and forced my hand about looking more deeply at different requirements. So yeah, if I hadn't worried, I wouldn't have done all this research and I feel so much more prepared now.

 

Yep. I freaked out so much that I just decided to outsource almost everything for now. Although I do think that once we're both used to high school level courses, we might go back to doing some on our own and customizing more. For now, having clear expectations and outside accountability is easier for both of us.

 

I felt better once I looked at the transfer agreements between our CC and UT Austin, TAMU and U of Houston. They're very similar, the courses that transfer are black and white. In the case of TAMU and U of H, you know the SAT scores you need for automatic admission. The AP credits awarded are pretty similar too. Of course, this doesn't mean dd will end up going to a TX school, but at least I understand that process for a highly selective, selective and not selective (but very generous with aid, honors college and UG research) school. That covers a lot of bases and I feel like I have a better understanding of what we need to do over the next 6 years.

 

The bolded is helpful here too.

 

Regarding fun and college prep...academics are very important to us. Very, very important and I know that with such deep-held standards about academics, we won't sway too far away from finding the most rigorous and challenging courses for him. BUT...I have always parented this boy for his joy and good mental health so I also know that even in my darkest moments of worrying, I will realize that his happiness and health mean so much more to me than anything else. It is for this reason that I am refusing to play a hard ball college game. We will do what is best for his mental health as well as his intellectual passion and if it's not good enough for some colleges then so be it.

 

Life is always a balancing act. I don't think we can get away from that. But we parents were motivated by strong reasons to homeschool in the first place and if we stay true to those reasons while prioritizing our kids' best interests, I think we will do fine. :grouphug:
 

[8filltheheart]

I love the middle and high school years.  I actually have found them more liberating in so many aspects b/c there is so much less micromanagement and the conversations are so much fun!

 

College apps are stressful.  I don't find them stressful b/c our high school experience, though.  It is stressful b/c of $$.  The costs are overwhelmingly if you enter the process with the idea that college has to be some ideal experience.  We have learned to "settle" and you know what?  Our kids have had great college educations and opportunities.

[Jeeves]

Lori D.--Thank you for the calming words! :) (5 boys do make me freak out, but in a different way than academically!  So I get the behavior AND the academic freak-out.  It's kind of (not) awesome. ;) ) And 8FillTheHeart--it's good to hear from people who find the HS years fine, but who also find the college apps stressful.  I think that's where my (and maybe others'?) stress is coming from.  We know that we can't help with college tuition, but college is really important to us. And there are so many options: PSEO, CLEP, community college, etc., to try and make college less expensive, that I feel like we need to make the "right" decision, but I don't know what the "right" decision is!  Anyway, bottom line: *I* need a guidance counselor. :)  Or just the WTM boards and the search function that finds all of Lori's posts...

[MamaSprout]

Our older kiddos where not homeschooled, and our local PS guidance counsler was- and still is- incompentent (and still employed). At least we'll know we are doing everything next time. The college app process is really not scary if you are organized.

 

Even going into 6th/7th grade we've decided to follow Memoria Press' scope and sequence- not using all of their products (maybe half). At least there is something in every slot that doesn't require a decision unless something is really unsuitable for us. We will likely sub some classes from our state Uni online high school, and make room for areas of particular interest, for example.

 

That frees me up to write plans when it best suits our needs. You could do something like that with any curriculum or private school scope and sequence that seems to meet your kiddos needs. I feel like I've wasted hours trying to manage every.single.detail. of dd's education.

[mom2att]

The good news is you are beginning this process NOW and thinking about the big picture. Just like you didn't have to know everything about homeschooling when you started with your 5-year-old, neither do you have to know everything about college admissions for the homeschooler when you hit that 8th/9th grade mark. But if you get an idea of what's coming, you can focus on what to do now and at each stage of the process.

 

I've graduated one, and I tell people that learning the guidance counselor role was definitely a challenge, and not one that I anticipated. My middle child is a rising 9th grader, so I'm about to begin this process all over again. Because this child is a completely different learner than his sister, it's going to be a very different ride this time, but because of what I learned the first time around, I'm ready, I'm excited, and I'm only a little anxious. :)

 

The high school years are the transition, the final training ground for your student to take this thing called life and really run with it. For my daughter's senior year I felt like my official title was "nag," since most of my time was spent saying, "did you study for the SAT," or "have you finished that college app essay yet," or "what about that scholarship?" Somehow we made it through, and when she started college it was a relief to be through with that role. It was also exhilarating to see her take the reigns for herself, make things happen all on her own, and succeed with flying colors. It was a long road from the beginning of high school to the end, but it went by so quickly. Homeschooling high school was different than the early years to be sure, but rewarding in its own right.

 

You can do it--one step at a time! Just keep learning right alongside, like you have all along.

 

[Mommy22alyns]

Lori D., you rock!!  I hope you stick around until I've graduated both of mine.

 

Yes... deep breaths, deep breaths... planning 7th inevitably leads to high school, and to top that off, I recently discovered that I should be planning high school for ODD with an eye towards a heavy gym schedule and NCAA requirements!   :huh:  Therefore, I will be ecstatic if YDD sticks with wanting to be a hair stylist.  But yeah.  How can we be here already?  They were JUST in kindergarten, elementary school... right??

[Sahamamama]

Yep. I freaked out so much that I just decided to outsource almost everything for now.

 

This is interesting, because the thought of outsourcing is what freaks me out -- the cost, the juggling of various sources, the disconnect from my student's learning, the transition from "Mom classes" to "other teacher classes," the loss of control and autonomy (mine and hers).

 

My homeschooling friends IRL who have their (slightly older) children outsourced seem overwhelmed keeping track of it all, and I quiver in my boots to think that might be me in a few years. This online math class, this online writing course, that outside language tutor, those outside music lessons, the co-op for X, Y, and Z, plus the courses the mom teaches at the co-op to cover the expense of her children taking X, Y, and Z... and on and on.

 

No matter how complicated it seems to create and complete our own courses at home, it somehow feels more manageable to me to do that than to enter the scary world of outsourcing  :scared:  (LOL). It's funny how perspectives on that are so different.

[Sahamamama]

Weirdly, I'm having this feeling more about my 4th grader than my 8th grader.  My 8th grader has had a lot of input into the plans for next year, we're both pretty excited about it, and I think she'll be well prepared for high school.  She's easy to teach.

 

My 4th grader is - has always been - way more challenging, to parent and to teach.  The last couple of years, 2nd & 3rd, I haven't worried about it much - she's a strong reader, and on level with math without much trouble, and although teaching her writing has been a challenge, she does like to write on her own and her skills are fine. But for some reason I'm feeling like 4th grade is a bigger deal, that somehow I should be shifting more from basic skills to .  .  . something, more, I don't know what.  I am just feeling like I need to step it up with her and I have no idea how to pull that off. Nothing I did with her sister is likely to work, at least not in the same way. So it's just inchoate anxiety at this point.

 

Anyway, that was off topic, sorry - but just goes to show that anxieties about doing right by our kids can span the spectrum, right? 

 

I think it's exciting that you are asking, searching, wanting to find whatever it is that she needs at this stage. I felt that same inchoate anxiety when Crash started 4th this past year, just something I couldn't put my finger on, but knew she needed more than basics. I'm not sure I ever really figured out the one thing, LOL, but there were lots of little things that seemed like they were needed for my daughter.

 

1. Some gentle lectures on having good work habits, being responsible, working more independently, and growing up.

 

2. Some gentle guidance on time management, planning her independent work more efficiently, and organizing her stuff (which seems to explode on the desk).

 

3. Lots of warm conversations, affection, snuggles (because she's too big to fit on my lap, but she's only 9 or 10, you know?).

 

4. More intentional effort to pull her into my teaching thoughts and strategies (showing her how the plan works, where we're headed down the road, etc.).

 

5. More time and focus on practical life skills, which seem to help this child feel that life has a balance -- sure, we can do math and composition, but she can also sew and bake and do yard work. This kid needs that balance.

 

6. Keeping in some fun, light, and funny material; not making everything suddenly serious or rigorous; building academic muscle gradually, not all at once.

 

We had a very good, solid year. I'm looking forward to 5th, even though it feels different than the younger years did. They just keep growing, don't they?

[8filltheheart]

This is interesting, because the thought of outsourcing is what freaks me out -- the cost, the juggling of various sources, the disconnect from my student's learning, the transition from "Mom classes" to "other teacher classes," the loss of control and autonomy (mine and hers).

 

No matter how complicated it seems to create and complete our own courses at home, it somehow feels more manageable to me to do that than to enter the scary world of outsourcing :scared: (LOL). It's funny how perspectives on that are so different.

:) A kindred spirit. I don't find outsourcing scary, but I do find it diminishes something special that we do have in our home-- a connectedness and joy that crosses the arbitrary barriers of confined subjects. I find I do **have to** outsource some subjects for the well-being of my children (physics and math for my ds, Russian and French for my dd, for example). But, I enjoy dwelling where we thrive and still trying to connect with them even in those outsourced areas. (Philosophy of science and religion with my ds. French fairy tales in French to combine with our literature course this yr--fairy tales.) My children surpass me academically, but we still have great discussions where they try to teach me new and interesting things. (Ok....I really don't want to know upper level math, but I will listen to theoretical physics. ;) )

[Sahamamama]

:) A kindred spirit. I don't find outsourcing scary, but I do find it diminishes something special that we do have in our home-- a connectedness and joy that crosses the arbitrary barriers of confined subjects. I find I do **have to** outsource some subjects for the well-being of my children (physics and math for my ds, Russian and French for my dd, for example). But, I enjoy dwelling where we thrive and still trying to connect with them even in those outsourced areas. (Philosophy of science and religion with my ds. French fairy tales in French to combine with our literature course this yr--fairy tales.) My children surpass me academically, but we still have great discussions where they try to teach me new and interesting things. (Ok....I really don't want to know upper level math, but I will listen to theoretical physics. ;) )

 

:) I don't really, either, and we'll do it to the extent that we must, when we must, but... I don't know. We're not there yet. I had a moment or two of realization this year, that such a day is coming, is inevitable, really. It occurred to me that these children will absolutely surpass me academically. It won't be too hard to do, I think!

 

But isn't that part of my motivation? Yes, it is. And I had to have a moment to center myself on that reality, that what I want for them, what we are working towards, is that they do get to go further than I did. It's not my ability that's in question, just the trajectory. Somehow, this year, I had a vision of what having a better foundation could do for a person down the road. Does that make sense? If I had had the foundation that we are now building, well, then my trajectory might have been what theirs can be. But to hit algebra without really understanding fractions, or philosophy without really knowing any history, or chemistry without any background at all.... It's hard to progress.

 

That said, I do feel like an anomaly here, where most of the HS families are heavily outsourcing in one way or another, even for upper elementary levels. And here is Little Old Me, just working away to create and implement Our Own Thing. We do solid work, it isn't that I'm pondering. It's just...

 

I suppose I wonder what it would be like, to turn major components of their learning over to something or someone else? Would that mean more personal freedom (for me)? Is that really what I want these next several years with them to be? I admit to mulling it over this year. It's not as though we could afford to outsource much for three children, anyway, but I think about it. Like trying something on, to see if it fits. I don't think it would, though, even if we had a boatload of money.

 

I know homeschooling moms who don't directly teach any (or very little) academics. It is all outsourced -- math, writing, history, science, music, languages, sports. Beyond the obvious question of "How do they afford it?" is the other question on my heart of "How do you release all that to _______ co-op, online academy, or other source, and still feel connected to them and their learning?" I don't just want them to input content, I want to interact with the child and the content -- all of us, together -- so the learning and growth are relational. Thanks for sharing that this is possible to do with outsourcing, too. That helps me. It probably is more a matter of family culture than the actual "source" of courses.

 

I don't really want to know upper level math, either. LOL, I hear you there! :) But at this level, yes, I do want to know and understand what my children are learning. It's not only good for me, it's good for us all to connect over these things, as well as our shared family life. I think the day will come soon enough when I can't keep up with them, especially as their interests and strengths diverge. But until then, I actually like the alongside-ness of it all.

[...................]

Yup. I'll have an 8th grader this year.  He will be doing a lot of schooling on his own...but I will be around and involved in his life, cheering him on and helping him to be prepared...I think it's exciting.  But, maybe that's because we plan to dual enroll in 11th grade, so I think as long as we do a pretty good job in 9th and 10th, he will be ready for community college.  And, since he will be starting early, I am not going to make him take a full course load till he is ready...so, mayba htat is why I am less stressed out.  I think, if we were trying to do directly from homeschool to a good university and all the stress that entails ...I would be way more freaked out.  

 

This year my 13 year old seems to have found his brain....he actually watches for cars, navigates parking lots, uses crosswalks, remembers to shower, and most other truly life saving things that I thought would never happen.  He's not ready for adulthood by any means, but I definitely feel encouraged.  He also chooses his friends wisely and communicates with us.  And he doesn't have that "wanderlust" that some kids have where they just aren't happy at home or with their family ...he's happy to be out and about on his own, but he is not discontent either.  

 

idk...to me, the community college/dual enrollment thing makes a lot of sense as far as reducing stress and taking things step by step.

[Arcadia]

I suppose I wonder what it would be like, to turn major components of their learning over to something or someone else? Would that mean more personal freedom (for me)?

...

It probably is more a matter of family culture than the actual "source" of courses.

 

Family culture does come into play. Most of my extended family are self taught before the public school teacher teach. Hubby is also more of a self learner.

 

For the classes that are outsourced, kids still own their learning. What you reap is what you sow still works in outsourced classes. The main difference is that hubby and my lack of expertise doesn't slow our kids down. For example neither of us play golf or do gymnastics but it is what our kids like. We have seen great improvements in motor skills from gym so we considered that as OT expenses. My city has an affordable kids golf program so we make use of that.

 

For academic and music outsourced classes, we still do a quick check that homework is completed, that they do the required prep for the next class. For example my German grammar is not great but I could easily go over the corrected compositions with my kids after their teacher grades them.

 

For my DS10, classes with 8-16 people are his "happy" fit. You can literally see his face light up in class. Less than 8 and he doesn't get the academic interactions he crave. If I had my nephews and nieces close by the way I had cousins close by growing up, DS10 may not need the outsourced academic classes.

 

For DS9, we budget for outsourced classes because he was emotionally down and having a negative self esteem at home. He needs somewhere to be his own person, not overshadowed by his brother. In a larger family environment (including cousins) the effect might be much less even though I have a cousin who felt he was slow relative to everyone else (despite everyone being encouraging).

 

Choosing the best fit of outsource class is probably just as stressful for us as choosing the best fit of curriculum. Touring community colleges with a view of dual enrollment is next.

 

The one benefit hubby and I get from outsourced classes is that we have a few hours per week of couple time without paying for a babysitter, and I have a few hours a week of me time outside the house to recharge.

 

ETA:

CalmingTea,

 

I think wanderlust runs on both sides of our family. My kids are already asking when we can buy a caravan/RV.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Don't panic.  A little freak out is ok, but don't let it freeze you.  The fact is that you and your kids cannot do everything.  I sometimes look at kids who are accomplished musicians or elite athletes or working part time in science labs and feel wistful that my kid isn't doing those things.  But there are very, very few kids who balance all of those types of time consuming passions.  And there are a great many who never reach tip top levels in their sports, academics and extra-curriculars, who nonetheless are great people, who have wonderful lives ahead of them.  Don't let FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) afflict you.

 

Don't assume that if you'd just . . . sent them to public school . . . sent them to private school . . . outsourced more . . . joined that coop . . . done more at home . . . stuck with Latin . . . dropped Latin for a living language . . . done more labs . . . done conceptual science . . . or any number of other choices that we all have to make . . . that your kid would have turned out better, smarter, more at ease with themselves, or more attractive to selective colleges.  Make the best decisions you can, given the resources and options your have, in light of the kid that you have.

 

Lori D. linked to some great threads on the high school board.  Check a couple of them out.  Make some plans, but write them in pencil.

 

(I keep hoping I'll open a forgotten binder to find the list of projected future math classes that I made when oldest was starting 2nd grade and I was worried that he'd finish calculus in 11th and I'd run out of math.)

[quark]

Just throwing in some food for thought re outsourcing...

 

We outsource heavily for our only child...but it doesn't mean me washing my hands off the learning. I don't see why it has to be that way. :D I love learning alongside my son. I can't rely on DH to take some of the burden off me so that I have personal time...his work is all consuming and often means travel for weeks on end. Outsourcing does give me some personal time in this way.

 

There are ways to make it affordable. I am so tempted to try Stanford Online High School for example but I have to be realistic. We just don't have that kind of money to spare and we also won't qualify for aid. Instead, we use community college which is $46 per unit in CA. Kiddo's entire semester comes up to less than what some people spend on boxed curriculum, and definitely less that the equivalent of doing it with PA Homeschoolers. His music class is $46 for 18 weeks and PE is the same. PE was actually $23 for six weeks in summer! How to beat that in crazy, expensive CA? Plus, he gets the classroom environment and prof interaction he needs.

 

We outsourced in elementary due to need. We had to do something. There was no way I could keep challenging him the way he needed to be challenged. That was an expensive decision but we could afford it then. All the other outsourcing was paid for by our homeschool charter. Now we are not using a charter and why community college will be the way to go for him for as long as he wants it.

 

Outsourcing can be anything I want it to be. I am not willing to let go of our alongside-ness just yet! :D (what a beautiful word Sahamamama!). We have to make decisions in kiddo's best interests and so far I think that is what we are doing (fingers crossed that I am right).

[Arcadia]

A funny though that occurred to me. My aunts love language to us kids (their own and cousins) were food and chaffeuring. The minute any of us walk into their house, we get food :) If for any reason we need a ride and public transport isn't available, someone would give us a ride.

 

Probably why we end up with a big family of self learners. We are genetically skinny despite round the clock yummy food. I have a few cousins who are retired and doing single subject tutoring. None of us like teaching more than one subject it seems.

 

I think hubby's love language is chauffeuring too. He would drive them to classes, take annual leave to drive kids to events that they like but he won't teach them.

[MerryAtHope]

You can do this! It's like that old adage about eating an elephant...you do it one bite at a time :-). And if you don't try to swallow too much at once, you can enjoy the process too! 

 

My oldest goes to college in the fall, and I'm so glad we were able to do this homeschool journey--so thankful for the years we've had together! The high school years can seem intimidating, but they are also so rewarding. 

 

I had several freak-outs along the way. When my oldest was in 6th, looking ahead to junior high. When my oldest was in 8th, looking ahead to high school. When my oldest was in 10th, looking ahead to homeschooling two high schoolers, testing, and then college... Not that worry ever helped me any! 

 

Honestly...you just do the next thing, which is what you've always done. You might not have known how to teach a child to read, but you learned how, you found curriculum that worked, and you did it. Or you might not have known potty training or baby care, or what an X-year-old child should be able to do...but you learned those things and walked alongside your children.

 

High school is like that. Maybe you don't know what they need to get into college. So read up on it. You can do that. Look at colleges you might be interested in and see what their requirements are. Most, unless you are looking at some really high-end schools, have fairly similar, routine requirements--things like 3 years social studies (many don't even specify US or World), 3 years science/2 with labs, 4 years math, 4 years English...etc...  

 

And, you think about what your child is interested in. There is leeway in topics (my son has done robotics for science, and a semester of Japanese History, for example). Talk about it with your children, find out what they would like to learn, and find ways to make it happen--maybe just like you've always done, or maybe this will be new. That's ok. 

 

And most of all...enjoy your children. We only have them for these few, short years. And when they are in high school, the years of them being home seem so, so short. Don't miss those years by worries and fears of your own inadequacy. Don't make decisions out of fear. Likely you'll do some things well, and some not as well--that's pretty much life, isn't it? You won't mess them up, and you have this incredible opportunity to share with them on a near adult level the things you are passionate about, and to learn what they are passionate about, and to develop a deeper relationship that is moving towards friendship.

 

Think of high school as walking alongside your child to help him or her achieve his or her goals. And if your child has no idea about the future? That's ok too. Many of us don't--again, that's life. So just set your children up for the possibility of open doors.

 

[freeindeed]

I am scared, too. The seasoned advice in this thread is making me feel a little better.

[Halcyon]

Following...going to read this later today. 

[idnib]

:lurk5:

[chiguirre]

 

I know homeschooling moms who don't directly teach any (or very little) academics. It is all outsourced -- math, writing, history, science, music, languages, sports. Beyond the obvious question of "How do they afford it?" is the other question on my heart of "How do you release all that to _______ co-op, online academy, or other source, and still feel connected to them and their learning?" I don't just want them to input content, I want to interact with the child and the content -- all of us, together -- so the learning and growth are relational. Thanks for sharing that this is possible to do with outsourcing, too. That helps me. It probably is more a matter of family culture than the actual "source" of courses.

We use Landry Academy for Latin, Spanish, literature and some sciences. If you buy during their sale a year in advance, it's very affordable (this year it was $58/semester/course). The WTM with discounts is about $500/year for a class that meets twice a week. Outsourcing isn't always super expensive but you have to look around, find the deals, and weigh the costs and benefits of each choice.

 

I only enroll T in classes that use textbooks I would choose myself. I chose LA's English IV class because it used the next level of Michael Clay Thompson's materials and a good selection of literature. I wouldn't have chosen it if they used other materials that I dislike. The reason I do this is because I will be using the textbooks. The classes only meet for 90 minutes/week. You, the parent, will be supervising the daily work. This depends on your child's age and executive function skills, but with a tween you'll need to help them keep to the daily schedule and not let things snowball. I go over T's homework with her everyday.

 

The main advantage of outsourcing for us is the outside schedule. Both T and I go off on tangents too easily. Using an outside class means that I know exactly what constitutes Latin 1 or high school chemistry. We don't try to do too much, get bogged down and realize we've only covered half the topics but at a much greater depth than what's expected. You can do this with a syllabus, but an outside teacher means that the work has to be turned in each week and you don't get behind.

 

Not everyone needs an outside class to impose discipline, but for those of us who do, they're very useful. If you don't, pocket the extra cash and enjoy your homeschool. You're not missing out on anything.

[Peaceful Isle]

Last year I was very relaxed with my 7th grade daughter. She took standardized testing at the end of the year, and did fantastic! Don't worry. I am sure you are doing great!

 

That being said, this year I am taking a year off, and letting my two daughters learn via distance learning to give me a well needed break from a great deal of teaching. 

[Momto4inSoCal]

We aren't there yet since DD is just entering the logic phase. I think entering the logic phase is what has spurred my reading lately. I've been reading everything I can get a hold of on teaching and education philosophies. I really need to see the whole picture and even though I know a lot of things might change I have to have some sort of direction and know where we are going. Luckily if I mess this up I have 3 more kids to get it right on... kidding kind of.. I seriously sometimes feel like my twins will get the better education of all my kids. 

[Kareni]

For my daughter's senior year I felt like my official title was "nag," since most of my time was spent saying, "did you study for the SAT," or "have you finished that college app essay yet," or "what about that scholarship?"

 

Ah, I felt that my official title was Sergeant-Major or Dictator!

 

 

There's been some wonderful advice on this thread.  I second the suggestion to spend some time on the high school and college boards.  If you read there, you'll see how others are navigating (have navigated) the high school years and beyond.

 

Regards,

Kareni