Parents' involvement in homework - grades 3/4

[SKL]

I am wondering when you more experienced parents backed off from your kids' homework responsibilities.  My kids are 8yo and they are pretty responsible about their homework, but I usually review it and have them correct any mistakes I find.  On a normal day I think I could be hands-off at this point.  Their grades might slip a little, but it seems developmentally appropriate to let them manage at least the daily stuff.  Thoughts?

[regentrude]

In grades 3 and 4, my kids were solely responsible for completing their homework. I would ask/remind that homework was done, but I did not review or have them fix mistakes.

[Arcadia]

I only check that they didn't leave any questions unanswered and that they remember to put their homework back into their school bags.

[Acorn]

I give one reminder to bring me the planner that I'm supposed to sign. I also check that assignments are placed into the backpack. I am willing to look at specific problems if asked a question, but I wouldn't review the others. For 4th grade, I'm expecting to be more hands off.

[Junie]

My parents never looked at my homework.  Ever.  I was completely on my own.  They weren't mean about it.  It just never occurred to any of us that parents would/could/should? be involved.

[Nart]

My kid is only in second grade, but I look over his weekly homework packet and am actively involved in dictating spelling words and sentences for his Friday test. If I give him the pre-test on the weekend and he gets them all right I don't bother having him do the spelling homework. His math is ridiculously easy, so sometime I tell him to solve the problem two or three different ways. If he has a science sheet, I sometimes will show him a science clip on youtube or natgeo that illustrates the point. My parents were completely hands off parents who never knew or checked if I had homework. Many of the most successful/ high achieving kids in my class were kids who parents were over the top helicopter/tiger parents who bought the textbooks over the summer and had them complete ALL the problems in each book. So during the year the teacher would often assign the odd or even problems and those kids had a really easy time finishing the work. I feel I am doing my part by making sure he is ahead of his grade level by supplementing at home, so homework can be quickly and easily completed.

[debi21]

Wow, you all have such responsible kids. My parents never were involved in my homework either - and so I often just didn't do it, from first grade right through high school. I don't think mine will either - I am hoping to help them develop the habit. Right now, my just turned 6 son won't sit down and do it unless I physically help him get it out, sit down in front of it, etc. He needs zero assistance with the academic portion, just starting it, maintaining focus, and getting over the monstrous 'i hate homework' temper tantrum. 

 

So at what age did your kids sit down and start their homework by themselves? 

[SKL]

My kids did their own homework in KG during aftercare.  Also in 2nd.  In 1st, the homework was not really designed for kids to do it alone.  Now in 3rd my kids come home from school (finally got bus service) and get their homework going while I am still upstairs working.  I expect them to get it going and give it their best shot.  My kids rarely fuss about homework, unless there is a huge amount that they can't finish within a reasonable time.

 

In 1st through much of 3rd, I have reviewed their homework.  One of my kids has needed help keeping up with school requirements until recently, so homework review/help was partly my re-teaching the subject matter.  I got into the habit of being involved due to her needs, I guess.  My other kid tends to be careless, so that is why I've checked her homework.  But now, I think they are responsible enough to either do it right or ask me for help if needed.

 

This summer, they are each getting their own bedroom with a desk, and I visualize future homework being done alone without supervision of any kind, unless someone asks me for help.  I was wondering if that was a realistic expectation.

 

When I was a kid, my parents didn't help me at all ever, but homework was different then.  We didn't do it at all until 3rd grade, and then it was designed to be done independently.  There were no assignment books to sign etc.  Homework never took the whole evening (until high school anyway).  Teachers would swat us if we didn't bother to do our homework.  So it isn't comparable to today IMO.

[mathnerd]

My child is in 2nd grade but accelerated to 3rd in math and 4th in LA. He has daily homework and I arrange a time for him to work on it. He is social and likes to have me close by when working. But, he works on all of it by himself. Sometimes, he has a question in LA and I am willing to discuss it with him until he solves it himself. I also remind him to put his homework folder in his backpack every night. That is my only involvement in homework.He takes 20 minutes for LA and spelling and 15 minutes of math, usually.

He does have weekly tests - and I review the science and geography chapters with him because he tends to forget details. I spend 15-20 minutes on these 2 subjects on the days he needs to prepare for those tests. He will work on spelling, poetry memorization etc by himself.

[vonfirmath]

My son is 2nd grade. The teacher expects homework to be signed by the parent, so we still review for accuracy and enforce doing homework FIRST before anything else is done. I do think sometimes we have taken on too much of the making sure things are in his backpack part.

 

FYI I had a desk in my room growing up -- but I don't remember much homework getting done there. Maybe occasionally when I needed to concentrate? Mostly it was done in front at the dinner table and then put on my desk to take to school the next day.

[musicianmom]

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Edited May 22, 2022 by musicianmom

[MBM]

I backed off sooner for subjects that my kids handled well but for those where they struggled, I worked with them. Science was usually their most difficult subject. They'd read what they had to learn and then I would quiz them about that.

 

By junior high I was not helping them much at all. High school -- no help with anything but my husband has gone off on rabbit trails discussing stats, econ, physics and math with them.

[kiwik]

ds6 does his own spelling and maths when he has it but reading I do with him. At the moment most of his homework is stuff like 'find the longest word beginning with h', 'Google what your name means', 'show someone the class blog'. Not stuff he can do by himself. Ds8 does spelling and maths but we do the rest together on the couch. I consider homework optional so we don't always do it. Neither of them have tests (except spelling or basic facts) or grades so it doesn't matter that much unless there is something in it they actually need to learn which is fairly unusual.